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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley folded his newspaper and accepted, with grim resignation, that he would have to try and save the world. It wasn’t that he particularly wanted to do it again; the first time had been bad enough and he’d needed an eleven-year-old to do the hard bit. He didn’t feel any kind of great love towards all living things at the moment, or have any heroic feelings. He simply knew that nobody else would do it.

    And Aziraphale, who had stumbled his way into the centre of it all, would be trying desperately not to let it happen and failing, because Heaven wouldn’t let him succeed. One more time, and he resolved that it would be the very last time, Crowley would have to fix things for him.

    --
    Crowley goes on a road trip across America to delay the Second Coming. Aziraphale tries to teach angels about humanity. In between, they talk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,062
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    651
    Bookmarks:
    244
    Hits:
    11,831

    27 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 68

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    NOW IT IS TIME FOR QUESTIONS FROM OUR LISTENERS. TODAY WE HAVE A QUESTION FROM BYLETH, COMMANDER OF THE MEPHITIC LEGIONS. OH, IT’S A QUESTION FOR THE ANGEL.

    Crowley’s hands clenched on the steering wheel.

    BYLETH, COMMANDER OF THE MEPHITIC LEGIONS, WRITES, “CROWLEY IS A CRAVEN TRAITOR SO WE UNDERSTAND WHY HE ASSOCIATES WITH AN ANGEL. BUT WHAT’S IN IT FOR THE ANGEL? WHAT IS HE GETTING OUT OF THIS?”

    “That’s a good question,” said Aziraphale.

    Crowley glared at him. “No, it isn’t.”

    Cut off from access to Earth, the hosts of Hell find other ways to torment Crowley. Aziraphale provides a refuge.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    256
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    1,814

    07 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 50

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    Athens, Ancient Greece, 430 BC.

    An unknown pathogen that would be known as The Plague of Athens has been ravaging the ancient Greek city, killing thousands and thousands with no end in sight. Just outside the walls surrounding the devastation, a guilt-wracked angel and a raging, despairing demon seek refuge from a violent downpour and the stench of death in an old, abandoned dwelling.

    And under the heaviness of what's happening just outside the hut and the relentlessly pressing weight of their forbidden desire for the other, they crumble.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,812
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    304
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    4,265

    21 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "You know what this is?" he asks, somehow doubtful and hopeful at the same time.

    "Course I do! You're just a little randy. Quick spot of onanism will fix you right up," he says with what is possibly too much confidence for someone who's never directly experienced either thing, but Aziraphale seems like he needs to borrow a whole heap of confidence at the moment.

    OR

    A pair of ineffable, Eden-era turbo virgins get exposed to sex pollen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,934
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    728
    Bookmarks:
    142
    Hits:
    7,646

    30 May 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Aziraphale loves because he's an angel and wants more because he's Aziraphale.

    or;

    picture this: an angel and a demon (though it doesn't matter much, nowadays) move in together and assume many things about one another. This is how it goes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,897
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    632
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    5,508

    01 May 2025

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    “Would a more kinaesthetic approach suffice, then?”
    “A-are you suggesting grabbing my arse?”
    “I’m suggesting, that since this seems to be a topic of great interest to you, Snow, I can charitably offer you a lesson in the basics.”
    Snow unleashes an agitated groan. Merlin, I don’t know how the boy can manage to keep up such a froth for so long. (Though I’ve somehow managed to keep up an erection for this long, so I’m not one to speak on the matter of indecorous stamina.)
    “You’ve never offered to tutor me in anything before!” he yammers.
    “Precisely.” I curl my lip at him. “So don’t expect me to ever be so generous with my offers of elucidation ever again.”



    Baz gets caught with a dildo up his arse, which results in an awkward conversation about the benefits of anal stimulation.
    Simon is admittedly curious, and, well, so long as it's something straight blokes can enjoy too, there's no reason not to let Baz show him the ropes...right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,686
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    363
    Kudos:
    2,986
    Bookmarks:
    542
    Hits:
    63,887

    10 Mar 2025

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Your new beginning starts here! Lying wholly within the South Downs National Park, the village of Wood’s Bottom is your destination for an idyllic retirement. This quaint hamlet is a short five miles away from the seaside resort of Brighton, with its vibrant array of shopping, culture, and leisure attractions. Boasting stunning landscape views, entirely average weather conditions, welcoming neighbours, and intimate rural charm, Wood’s Bottom is your opportunity to live the exceptionally normal and relaxing lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of.


    Aziraphale and Crowley have finally found their forever home after successfully ensuring there is still a “forever” to share. Surely they will integrate perfectly well amongst their new neighbours. Surely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,749
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    790
    Kudos:
    1,002
    Bookmarks:
    404
    Hits:
    33,808

    06 Dec 2024

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Must he spell it out for him? “You could…” Aziraphale looks him up and down, then cocks his head towards the poncy fellow up on the balcony, raising his brows pointedly. “You know.”

    Possess him? Crowley frowns and asks, “You think so?”

    Aziraphale nods, eyes wide. The visual alone has instantly vaporized any alcohol content in his body.

    “I—well.” Crowley considers it, then winces. “I haven’t actually poked inside someone since… oh, gotta be 71, I think. Antoine Gay. Bollocksed that one up.”

    Aziraphale blinks, taken aback. In his (admittedly frequent) imaginings of Crowley in bed, he never envisioned him as the ‘poker’, necessarily. He seemed like he’d much rather enjoy getting poked instead. Repeatedly. Passionately. Perhaps up against an opulent pillar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    2,501
    Bookmarks:
    492
    Hits:
    26,505

    27 Oct 2024

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success.

    A classical music sex comedy. Yes, really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,125
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    1,434
    Kudos:
    2,175
    Bookmarks:
    574
    Hits:
    34,062

    24 Oct 2024

  10. Public Bookmark 37

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    “Your wings,” Crowley hisses in an acute sense of impropriety, feeling a bit like a teenage boy seeing his first womanly ankle. “They’re—they’re out!”

    “Nothing gets past you,” says Aziraphale.

    *

    It's summertime in Regency England. Aziraphale has his wings out for a celestial performance of Hymen in Shakespeare's As You Like It, and Crowley—well. As always, he's there to do whatever Aziraphale likes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,312
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    327
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    3,263

    26 Sep 2024

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    FANDOM AU! • Crowley is a BNF fic writer, and Aziraphale is a lurking artist who might be just a little parasocially in love with him. How they ever became friends is beyond him, but here they are: One month out from Prophet Con, and Crowley is asking him to be his boyfriend. Just for the weekend, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,997
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    3,147
    Kudos:
    4,754
    Bookmarks:
    960
    Hits:
    104,688

    29 Aug 2024

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    phersu: meaning 'mask,’ ‘masked man,’ or ‘actor.’

    Just under two thousand years ago, long before Crowley and Aziraphale raised the believed-Antichrist together, Aziraphale is tasked to influence a young boy toward good: the future Emperor Nero. Crowley can’t help but linger and do some influencing of his own.

    Available in русский язык!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    104,208
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    278
    Kudos:
    307
    Bookmarks:
    157
    Hits:
    9,067

    23 Aug 2024

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    “You look terrible, by the way. Wow, you are not okay. Well, lucky you, I know, it’s been a while, but I am here to help. Sorry it took so long. We were a little distracted, but eventually, Bee and I concluded that maybe, slightly, we, and especially I, kind of owed you one.”

    In which Gabriel conveniently happens to have a low-power time travel device lying around, generously decides to donate it to Aziraphale so Aziraphale can use it to thwart the next apocalypse, and Aziraphale immediately uses it instead to try to fix That Conversation. Surely with enough chances, he can get it right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    472
    Bookmarks:
    163
    Hits:
    5,064

    22 Jul 2024

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley finds that he quite enjoys scrapping with the angel. Aziraphale finds that he enjoys the demon's enjoyment. Their head offices would not approve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,789
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    219
    Kudos:
    855
    Bookmarks:
    194
    Hits:
    8,187

    30 May 2024

  15. Public Bookmark 51

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    Aziraphale likes trains (riding them). Crowley also likes trains (disrupting their schedules to cause human misery). When they run into each other on assignments in the northeastern United States, it only makes sense to travel together.

    Except for the fact that someone just set into motion an awful lot of Amtrak delays…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,995
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    331
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    1,533

    21 May 2024

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Crowley had snaked himself across the bar top, half purring, half snarling for Aziraphale to live a little, this wasn’t exactly what he meant by it. Not exclusively, anyway. If there was a list of possibilities, it may have been on there somewhere; scrawled as a hasty afterthought, perhaps under a subheading of Things That Would Surely Never Actually Happen.

    But the sight of Aziraphale lying naked and debauched in the middle of his black satin sheets was not something he was about to hesitate over.

    (If there was a second list, one surreptitiously scribbled on a napkin in the dark corner of a crowded bar, it would be titled Things Crowley Had No Right To Crave As Much As He Did, and it would start and end with this single bullet point)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,061
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    615
    Kudos:
    1,945
    Bookmarks:
    412
    Hits:
    32,350

    15 May 2024

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley part ways, but not for long. Not when the Second Coming is at hand.

    Don't worry. They're not at all competent, still.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    959
    Bookmarks:
    186
    Hits:
    9,187

    10 May 2024

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley has a passing familiarity with various forms of sin. Aziraphale has opinions.

    *

    balnea vina Venus
    corrumpunt corpora nostra…
    sed vitam faciunt balnea vina Venus

    "Baths, wine, and the acts of Venus corrupt our bodies… but baths, wine, and the acts of Venus make life worth living."

    — epitaph of Tiberius Claudius Secundus

    DELIGHTED AND FLATTERED to have this lovely cover created by the amazing ineffableclassics.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,829
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    518
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    5,029

    19 Apr 2024

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Fabulous. I'm not nervous."

    "I... I didn't ask. Now I think you're nervous."

    "I just told you I'm not."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    1,717
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    16,334

    29 Jan 2024

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale, Supreme Archangel of the Heavenly Host, is just minding his own business. Really. It's not like he's trying to get summoned to Earth during highly important archangelic duties. And Crowley's not trying to summon him, he swears, but somehow it still keeps happening...

    Now, if they could only figure out why?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,558
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    1,040
    Kudos:
    1,679
    Bookmarks:
    435
    Hits:
    28,453

    23 Jan 2024

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