1 - 20 of 1608 Works in Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Vicar Aziraphale Bookman has a comfortable life. He lives in and serves the small village community of Tadfield. He enjoys contributing to local businesses, taking walks, and of course reading. His 'guilty pleasure', which gives him no guilt and all pleasure, is a series of novels by one AJ Ashtoreth. But what happens when he reaches out with an innocent bit of fanmail?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,403
    Chapters:
    18/23
    Comments:
    298
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    4378
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale Fell finds himself foisted upon a new dorm mate at University who has a notorious history of making said roommates disappear. Whether it's his loud music, need for dark, or overall sarcastic nature, Crowley always manages to run them off before they become an issue.

    But...this one seems different. His wit is sharp, and his knives aren't far behind. He may seem like an old silly, but this one may just be the wake-up call Crowley - and his motley band of ne'er-do-wells - needs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,948
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2351
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Ezra Fell is a writer, middle aged, single, had enough, but fine otherwise. A writer of myths and legends, and also soft core erotica, hasn't endeared him to his family. Nor has his preferences and lifestyles. But at 50 he's ready to start a new page, and accidentally does when he marries a Selkie through a kind gesture.

    Warning; Body shaming, homophobia, and slandering, emotional abuse are all alluded to. Also MATURE tags will be added for a reason

    More chapters to come!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,648
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1509
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is once again without a Nanny for his twin terrors and is at his wit's end. His so called friend Tracey seems to have a solution for him, but is she hoping that this new Nanny will become more? Of course she is! And it's a Good Omens fan fic so love will abound!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,233
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    515
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    12934
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A despondent and defeated Crowley has been through the ringer, moreso even than his roommate, Newt, realizes. After a car accident puts him though a number of surgeries and a temporary - but terrifying - few weeks of blindness, the club owner wants nothing more than to curl up in his bed and refuse to move until things return to normal...or as normal as they'll ever be again.

    Newt - and his cafe-owning girlfriend, Anathema - have other plans. They think that Crowley just needs some care and pampering, so Anathema schedules him a special, off-hours appointment with a friend of hers who is a rather sought-after masseur. Crowley is hesitant and stubborn, but Aziraphale's soothing voice and comforting nature soon win him over, in more ways than one...

    ***UPDATES MONDAYS***

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,841
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    438
    Kudos:
    387
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    7174
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Gadreel shook his head, which turned into a full body shake that rustled through the feathers of his wings. He was getting ahead of himself. He still had to perform the dance, just bringing the kill was the first step. 

    He fluffed out his feathers as he flew, going over the steps in his head as he approached their cave. Of course Ezra didn’t need the mating dance, he wasn’t a harpy. He was a sphinx, so much more sophisticated than Gadreel. But Gadreel used it for a specific reason. He needed Ezra to know he was receptive, ready for him after a long winter away and alone. 

    After all, Ezra was a kind soul and a gentlemanly cat. He wouldn’t rail Gadreel into next week without explicit permission.
    ---
    Or, the one where Gadreel is a harpy and Ezra is a sphinx.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,605
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    477
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale has a new assignment to inspire the humans via gladiatorial combat. He was trained by Michael, and there's no reason he can give Heaven as to why he can't accomplish this simple feat.

    Crowley isn't quite as convinced this is at all a good idea.

    Or the fic in which Caspian needed a plot so we could get to the homoerotic swordfighting and have an excuse to put Aziraphale in a gladiator outfit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,541
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    943
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley drags Aziraphale along on a job to spread temptation at a Black and White Ball. He says it's for additional security, but we all know he's got other plans, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    459
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The coming Apocalypse has Aziraphale on edge, a situation which is not improved when Crowley interrupts his relaxing day of self-care to tell him they need new aliases to influence Warlock-- it also doesn't help that he isn't wearing much when the demon comes to deliver the news.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    690
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale has had a hard life -- rejected by his upper-crust family for being a sterile Omega, forced to work in a brothel or else starve -- but could the appearance of the dashing but odd Captain Crowley change his life forever?

    Maybe Aziraphale can get his happily ever after ending after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,585
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    208
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    5582
  11. Tags
    Summary

    It's a strange request, but a welcome one: ecstacy in return for surrogacy.

    "I can't touch him," Aziraphale explains, fidgeting with the golden ring on his pinky finger. "Or, well, I can, but I mustn't. Holy water, even a drop, I can't risk it, you see."

    At your confused expression, Crowley clarifies, with a wry smirk, his arms crossed. "Angels 're holy. So all his waters 're holy. And holy water is Heaven's weapon against demons." He uncrosses his arms to stab a thumb at himself on the last word.

    The angel continues. "We may embrace clothed, touch casually - so long as I do not sweat - and we do! But, well, even that is dangerous, and-"

    "We want more," Crowley interjects bluntly.

    "So, we came to the conclusion that what we really need is a human who understands, who cares-"

    "And who wants to fuck us both as much as we want to fuck each other!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,768
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    294
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Nanny gets underfoot to cause chaos in the Dowlings’ household, and finds herself quickly caught up in naughty games with the staff. She still finds time to steal away to keep score with her favorite angel.

    Sometimes fluffy and domestic, other times explicitly smutty, with a dash of plot and humor, this story gets intimate with Nanny Ashtoreth as she raises Warlock and starts her wicked new adventures.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,466
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1020
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley has lived by the neighborhood for quite a lot of time, but now recently a new face has joined the street by buying an old house and turning it into a bookshop.
    He was never into books, but after seeing them, he doesn't leave the bookshop just so he can see the owner.
    But apparently the owner has a secret night-job that doesn't fit their monarchy-like self.

    (AKA Aziraphale is a successful stripper and Crowley finds out by mistake)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,584
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    362
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley knows Aziraphale deserves better than him, that he’ll be lucky if Aziraphale doesn’t end their Arrangement, so he should take advantage of the time he still has, shouldn’t he?

    If his angel wants to spoil him and pamper him and give him a day where he takes full control, why should he look a gift horse in the mouth?

    It might be the last chance he gets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    734
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Crawly wants one angel. And he'll get him. He can wait. He can bide his time, very patient demon, him. But when he has him, there's no way he's letting him go.

    (Prequel to "Good Little Angel" and "In His Master's Grasp")

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,018
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1711
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crawly meet in Egypt not long after The Flood.
    Aziraphale learns how truly good Crawly can be.

    -

    Ambiguity was meant for humans. Angels were never meant to have free will. They stared into each other's eyes, unblinking. Something complicated building up between them, an exquisite but difficult kind of tension. There was a grey area here that Aziraphale didn’t know what to do with. What Crawly did went against Her plan. And yet– and yet. 

    “Gonna smite me, Angel?” Crawly said with affected casualness, betrayed by the way his voice came out raw, little more than a growl low in his throat. “Thwart my wiles? Kill the kids off after all?”

    I wanted to save them, he thought. I wanted to save them, but She told me I couldn’t. She told me I couldn’t so I boarded the Ark, safe and sound, while all of Mesopotamia drowned below my feet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    532
  17. Tags
    Summary

    After the Nope-ocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley move slowly — up until the night they move too fast. The consequences will send them reeling. As they figure out what they mean to each other, they must contend with both the expected and unexpected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,929
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    278
    Kudos:
    340
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    9214
  18. Tags
    Summary

    It’s nineteen-eighty something, and Crowley brings a new toy to the bookshop to show off. Awkwardness, epiphany, and cheesy space opera ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    849
  19. Tags
    Summary

    After the plan for the Great War fell through, Gabriel finds himself lost. He prays to God for some kind of answer and he finally gets one. And what does the golden letter say? That he's doing wonderfully? That the Great War is back on? No, it's that he missed the whole point of everything!

    Now, he has been demoted to the lowest rank of angel and sent down to Earth. And who should find the lost, confused and sad angel? None other than Aziraphale and Crowley, who make it their personal mission to help Gabriel solve the mystery so that he can get back up to Heaven and get off of their turf! But, the big question is, will Gabriel even want to go back, after everything that's happened? And will he finally find the answer to his prayer?

    What's in the box:
    - Hurt Gabriel
    - Sad Gabriel
    - Grudgingly soft Crowley
    - Firm, yet soft Aziraphale
    - Soul Searching
    - First Kiss
    - First Time Eating
    - First Time Sleeping
    - First Time Drunk
    - First Bath
    - Illiterate Gabriel learning how to read 'human'
    - First Woohoo (Can I get a Wahoo?) XD
    - Gabriel has a nice singing voice
    - Gabriel finding out that he is the last virgin in Heaven! =0

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,485
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    5517
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A spicy follow-up to "Do Not Disturb" by Appleseeds

    Crowley has just discovered that the guy he's been chatting up on Grindr is actually his new therapist.
    As it turns out Dr Fell may not be up for accepting him as a client after all, but it might be for the best. <3

    (Can technically be read by itself, but it'll make more sense if you read Appleseeds's piece first. :3)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    132
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    793

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