Chapter Text
TT: Dave.
TT: Dave, answer your client.
TT: I don't care if you're dick-deep in Karkat, you need to answer me right now.
TG: ok first
TG: do i interrupt you when youre knucks deep in your hot vampire gf
TT: Yes, all the time.
TG: fine
TG: but still i wasnt
TG: i was asleep
TG: youre the worst seer ever
TT: I was perfectly aware that you were asleep, I simply wanted to get your attention. Which I have done entirely successfully. Check-and-mate.
TG: bluh bluh what
TT: Wake Karkat up so I can invite him to a group chat.
TG: kk asks quote whats a group chat end quote
TG: or I guess WHAT'S A GROUP CHAT?
TT: ...we've been using these clients for years, he doesn't know about the group chat option?
-- carcinoGeneticist has joined the chat! --
CG: NO I DID NOT. WHY DID YOU LET ME WRITE ALL THOSE MEMOS?!
TT: I assumed you enjoyed talking to yourself.
CG: ...
TT: Hang on, let me...
-- grimAuxillatrix has joined the chat! --
-- gallowsCalibrator has joined the chat! --
TG: sup tz, kan
GA: Hello Dave
GA: Please Excuse Our Interruption
GA: Of Your Uh Sleep
GC: WH4T 1S UP?
TT: Excellent, you're all here. Kanaya and I have discovered something very odd. Unusual and peculiar. Potentially troubling and exciting all at once.
GA: We Have Been Observing The New Session From A Distance
GA: It Becomes Easier To Do As We Progress Closer To Our Destination
TG: ya makes sense
TG: so?
TT: So we have observed something. The new Session has five planets.
TG: wait
TG: what?
CG: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
CG: THEY'RE YOUR ALTS RIGHT?
CG: DAVE'S BROTHER AND YOUR MOTHER, YOU'VE EVEN SEEN THEM.
CG: JOHN'S GRANDMOTHER AND JADE'S GRANDFATHER.
TT: Correct. Two and two, eight in total.
TT: Nonetheless, we've observed another planet that has formed. I'm still studying it to gain a name for it, but to the best of my knowledge it is real.
TG: we got a class-aspect for the player?
TG: might help us to figure it out
TT: Yes. Mage of Mind.
TG: well im out
GC: OOH 4NOTH3R M1ND PL4YER
GC: D3L1C1OUS
TT: I'm concerned that it means that the Session is being tampered with.
TG: duh rose
TG: duh
TT: I mean more so than usual.
TT: I want to investigate how this could have happened. I will as we approach, but as we approach, there's a second matter that needs to be addressed.
TG: oh?
TT: Gamzee.
TT: Don't leave Terezi.
GC: 1 SHOULD--
GC: D4MN1T.
TT: Karkat, is Gamzee going to snap out of this on his own? Be honest.
CG: NO.
CG: WE AREN'T MOIRAILS ANY MORE.
CG: THAT ENDED A LONG TIME AGO.
GA: You Should Have Said Something Sooner Karkat
GA: I Could Have Auspiticized
CG: TELL ME HONESTLY THAT YOU WOULDN'T JUST CUT HIM IN HALF.
CG: GO ON.
GA: You Know I Cannot
GA: When Words Fail Chainsaws Will Prevail
TG: so hot
TG: do me
GA: You Are Not My Type
GA: Sorry Dave
TG: figured
TG: so what do we do
TG: kill him?
TT: Any solution that relies on violence to win the day will fail.
TT: Negative emotion will only make him stronger, and destroy us as well.
TT: We must be utterly rational.
TG: obviously you have an idea
TG: so lets hear it
TT: I do. I intend to trap him and alter his mind so that he can control his rages.
TT: The pies functioned to keep him sedate but as a consequence he was lethargic, and also, they are finite.
TG: pi goes to infinity rose
TG: come on
CG: SHUT UP AND LET HER TALK FUCK.
TG: she talks a ton man geez
TT: There's a mental trigger, I am certain. We need to find it. Terezi, once we have him, can we count on you?
GC: 1F YOUR PL4N WORKS 1 W1LL LOOK
GC: 4ND ONLY TH3N
TT: Good.
TG: so how are you going to trap him
TG: like he basically doesnt come out unless hes fucking with us
TG: or fucking one of us
CG: ...
GC: ...
TG: im saying what were all thinking
TT: I'm thinking Arby's.
TG: rose that was a totally irrelevant remark in the middle of a serious discussion
TG: im so proud of you
TT: I know. I'm a little flustered, but I'll recover.
TT: I need a dead Dave.
CG: WHAT?!
TG: no prob
TG: where do you want it
TT: I have a corridor already picked out.
TT: I'll guide you to it once you have the body.
TG: ill go take care of that
TG: kk help me out
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?
TT: No he's fucking you.
TG: no im
TG: damnit rose
GA: I Dont Mean To Interrupt This Strategic Discussion Of Who Is Having Sex With Who But There Is Something You Should Know
TT: Yes?
TG: ya?
GA: There Is A Sixth Planet Now
TT: ...how does this keep happening?
GA: The Answer Is Not Clear
GA: But I Believe It Relates To New Players Entering The Session
TG: so whats this one
TG: anyone we know
GA: I Do Not Believe So
GA: From What I can Observe From Here The New Player Is
GA: Oh This Is Interesting
TT: What is it?
TG: ya dont leave us hanging
GA: The Thief Of Doom
--
I'm so bored right now you don't even know.
So bored.
Soooooooo booooooooored.
There are so many people here. So many. A cornucopia of people you might even say. The problem is, most of those people are Consorts. The vast majority in fact. Consorts are, well, it's kind of mean to say, but they're not all that smart, you know?
The people who aren't are Consorts tend to be Sprites. Nannasprite is awesome. I'm so glad I had the chance to meet with her and spend time with her, even if she's not really my Nanna. There's also Jaspersprite. Becsprite is now part of Jade. Then, of course, there's... Davesprite.
Sigh. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Davesprite is my fault. I know it's my fault. I guess I don't feel like 'roll around in a pile of angst' upset about it, but I do feel really bad. If I hadn't been stupid, he wouldn't exist. He wouldn't have suffered. Jade from that timeline wouldn't have died, and Rose and Dave wouldn't have been stuck in that doomed timeline for so long.
That's why I have to remember he's Davesprite, you know? The Dave I basically got killed. The Dave I doomed because I thought listening to someone I barely knew was a good idea. He's got Jade, though. Davesprite, I mean. I don't know if Dave ever liked Jade that way? I don't really know how different they are now.
I've never asked, and I don't even know if Davesprite knows. I wonder if Davesprite is mad at me for it. The doomed thing. Not any of the other things. I wouldn't blame him if he did. He's so cool and aloof all the time. The most cool. The most aloof. The most orange and ghost-butt-y.
“S'up, John?”
I wonder how you do stuff with a ghost-butt? I mean, it's a ghost-butt. Does it transform? Can you change into real legs or is it stuck like that? Man, I'm so bored--
“John!”
“Ah!” I fall off my couch, onto the floor. Davesprite peers down at me. “Oh, hi Davesprite!”
“Hey, John.” He can't really help me up, so I roll around until I'm facing the right way up. “Can we talk?”
“Sure!” I say. “What's up?”
“We're getting pretty close to the new Session,” he says. “So I'm going to teleport the rest of the way.”
“Oh, okay.” I prop myself up on my elbows. “Guess you really want to see your brother, right?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs slightly. “You need to take care of Jade, okay?”
“Well, of course,” I say, smiling. “We're going to miss you a lot, but especially Jade.”
“Yeah,” he says again. “Alright, see you.”
I watch him for a minute as he queues up a player list and narrows in on 'Dirk Strider'. Hey, cool. Oh look, Nanna's on that list too. Well, young Nanna. Alive Nanna. I wonder what she's like. I wonder... wait...
“Hey, Davespr--” And he's gone. “Remember that time I got my friends killed and it created a doomed timeline? I'm sorry.”
Sigh.
--
TT: So, how are the cooking lessons going?
GG: Messily. He's more flexible than you were, but less precise.
TT: So you're telling me that you're covered in flour and/or edible things right now.
TT: And I'm missing it.
GG: It's not nearly as sexy as it seems, buster. >:(
TT: Sorry, sorry.
GG: Obviously I'm not mad.
GG: How goes the exploration of that new world that popped up?
TT: It's weird. It looks like it's dying, almost. It seems resistant to change.
GG: Hm, but it's not hibernating the way ours were?
TT: It looks like no. This world seems to be what it would have been like had our Session been normal.
GG: According to Roxy and Kris, there have been no changes to the Dersites and Prospitians since it showed up, so it hasn't as-such been added to the Prototyping chain.
TT: It fits and it doesn't fit since there are gates, but no Sprite.
GG: It's weird.
TT: This whole process has been weird.
GG: Indeed. At least we should have left the majority of the drama behind us.
TT: Yeah. Roxy and Kris are happy. The three of us are happy.
GG: Very happy. The most happy.
TT: I guess the only thing I wish I knew was when those other people are supposed to be coming.
GG: I wish I knew as well.
TT: One of them will be my brother. I've never met him, I only know him through his media, and what he left in the apartment.
GG: So he's a complete wreck of a human being.
TT: Hey.
GG: Search your feelings, you know it be true.
TT: I don't think
TT: Hang on.
GG: What is it?
TT: Something just fell from the sky. I'm going to go check it out.
GG: Be home in time for dinner.
TT: Yes, dear.
TT: :)
GG: :)
--
I'm not sure what John wanted, but I'm sure it's something the real Dave will be able to answer for him.
That sounds bitter. I'm not, or I am, but I'm not exactly mad at John. I get that John doesn't think I'm the real Dave. I get that he wants to keep us separate, because Dave is his best bro and I'm his duplicate that's cheating death by being a Sprite.
The fact that this Game thinks being a Sprite is sufficiently bad enough to avoid punishment for changing the timeline is kind of telling, and also, depressing. It's not as though I didn't enjoy interacting with Dave. He's me and I'm him. I could help him and we'd be awesome together.
Three years on the ship changed that. Three years with Jade, and John, and Nanna, and the Consorts. I want to be my own person. I want to live my own life. I want to be not-Davesprite. Once the Game ends, Skaia will swallow me whole. Thanks for your participation, but you're in the Wood bracket, please enjoy your complementary oblivion.
Jade knows. We talked about it before we broke up. John doesn't, because I don't want to upset him. He's so... carefree. Like his wind. I doubt he worries much about anything. Hell, I'd be happy if he hadn't already worried about a bunch of things. He's a good person, and I want him to be happy.
Just... fuck this Game. Fuck Skaia. Fuck this weird Session shit. If I'm going to go, I at least want to see my Bro first. I want to apologize for failing to save him, even though he's not my actual Bro, but his ecto-clone. That's okay, though. It doesn't matter.
I'm not the real Dave anyway.
The teleport resolves and--
I'm falling. I'm falling towards a world that's decaying. I can feel it. All around me, oblivion is only a whisper away.
Where the fuck are my wings?! Why didn't I teleport right to Bro? Did Skaia finally get tired of me dicking around with Dave's friends, so now it's going to kill me off for real?
I claw and scratch for safety. There's nothing to be done, not while falling out of the sky.
Fuck you, Skaia! Fuck you and fuck this stupid game and fuck letting me almost feel like a real person before I finally died.
“Fuuuuuuu--”
Angerfearpaindarkness.
Oblivion.
--
Do not despair. This is not your final end.
“Hang on.”