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  1. Public Bookmark 56

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    Summary

    Six years after a career ending injury resulting in paralysis, Ilya Rozanov hires Shane Hollander, a friend of a friend, to stay with him on weekends to appease his off and on again girlfriend, Svetlana Vetrova. Ilya does not like acknowledging his disability and is insistent he can take care of himself. He describes Shane's position as more of a 'servant's job' not a 'nurse's job,' but offers a hefty salary, flexible hours, and friendship.

    Shane, who is admittedly terrible at interacting with people, but great with Ilya's dog, Anya, recognizes exactly what Ilya needs immediately, but fails at balancing on the knife edge of empathizing and relating to his client, while not letting Ilya get away with whatever he wants... which is exactly what he wants to do.

    Despite continually redefining their relationship, Shane's desire to care for Ilya, all of him, while coming to terms with his own identity, and Ilya's desire for Shane to see him for the man he is, while not acknowledging how completely Shane accepts him, proves to be no easier than 'keeping things professional.'

    Takes place in 2026, when Shane and Ilya are 35.

    This is an explicit fic for adults only!

    Human made 100%

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,758
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    7,649

    16 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 13

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Rozy," Brian, the team doctor says, "talk to me, buddy. That puck clipped you pretty good, how’s the pain?"

    Ilya blinks. He clenches his jaw against a wave of nausea. He rests his cheek on the ice, and the cold helps a little.

    "Bad. Very bad." He swallows. "Is Shane here?"

    -

    or, in the final MTL/BOS game of the year, ilya takes a puck to the head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,967
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    6,007
    Kudos:
    21,169
    Bookmarks:
    6,418
    Hits:
    656,790

    15 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 21

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “This might have been a bad idea.”
    “You think so?”
    “Hollander’s pissed.” Marlow said, stating the obvious.
    “No he’s not.” Ilya answered easily. “He’s just nervous.”
    “About what?”

    “About asking if he can watch you fuck me.”

     

    -OR-

    Ilya and Marlow have been hooking up for years - though it was never personal (until it was too late).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,866
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    2,574
    Kudos:
    4,403
    Bookmarks:
    1,006
    Hits:
    111,531

    11 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    NSFW art studies of Shane and Ilya

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    1,013
    Kudos:
    12,023
    Bookmarks:
    979
    Hits:
    93,896

    10 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    NSFW art

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    This jumps in right after the cottage - it will not have spoilers for the Long Game, but there may be some characters from that book that show up here. The boys have just gone home for their respective preseasons. As with most of my work, this jumps around in the timeline. Watch out for that. Let me know in the comments if you were ever confused.
    It's entirely possible I wrote this for myself and no one else would be into this weird-ass concept which is perfectly fine - write the fanfic you want in the world! Basically I just wanted to create a world where Ilya would ACTUALLY die without Shane, and this is what came out. This has very light a/b/o dynamics. Other than the main hook of the story being rejection sickness, mostly it's just angst and hurt/comfort.
    I read every single comment and appreciate anyone who takes the time to read, comment, kudos, etc.

    Italic text = Russian
    This fic uses a skin to simulate text messages. If you turn it off or read on an e-reader, they should still be visible (no promises) - just not as fun. I tested it on my kobo (f*** bezos) with an epub and I could still see the texts
    No generative AI used in this fic - every word and error came from my fanfic-soaked brain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,546
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    567
    Bookmarks:
    215
    Hits:
    9,764

    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 3

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The first time Shane had sensed it, they’d been three goals up, winning a game they didn’t really deserve to win.

    ‘Rozanov - ‘ something on his face must have given away how truly terrible he feels, because Hollander is stepping closer, a look of concern etched over his features. He bites back his words - Ilya sways, just barely, dizzy all of a sudden - and Hollander gets out ‘Ilya,’ the name low and far too intent. Hollander smells worried, rain-charcoal-loam, a thick miasma. 

    Ilya chokes back a noise of pain as his stomach cramps, deep pain low in his pelvis - another wave of heat flushes over his cheeks - and it’s then that he feels the first trickle of slick and realizes, horribly and suddenly, what must impossibly be happening. What has been happening.

    He's going into heat.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,367
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    957
    Bookmarks:
    298
    Hits:
    31,742

    06 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 12

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya and Shane are broke roommates, until Ilya discovers streaming and starts making bank jerking off for the viewers
    Naturally, he offers his good friend Shane a chance at making money the same way
    And if they touch each other a little it’s only because of the tips, not because they are into each other

    ~~~~~~

    Shane and Ilya are both completely straight here
    #ISwearrr

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,196
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Comments:
    4,028
    Kudos:
    21,702
    Bookmarks:
    7,051
    Hits:
    612,504

    06 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 8

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    a series of smutty oneshots where we explore hollanov's freak4freak through every letter of the alphabet <3

    Words:
    16,332
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    164

    06 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting for “D”. (Like Shane)

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,618
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    7,351
    Kudos:
    30,806
    Bookmarks:
    6,269
    Hits:
    430,278

    05 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 9

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane gasped and stumbled backwards. “Three weeks? You decided-” his hands flew to his mouth. “How could you do this without talking to me? This is what? To punish me because I won’t come out on your timeline?”

    Ilya felt a stab of anger. “You won’t come out on any timeline!”

    Shane blinked at him. “I literally drove here tonight because I wanted to know if you would accept six to twelve months!” 

    “A timeline,” he barked. “This is our lives, Shane. I want to be with you fully now. I know you are scared, but you need to be brave, and I am so deeply fucking unhappy being your dirty little secret.”

    “That’s not fair Ilya, it’s going to be complicated for me. I’m already the only Asian captain in the league! The media, sponsors, the Voyageurs? It’s going to need to be carefully managed-”

    After the Boxing Day fight, Ilya makes an impulsive decision and agrees to a trade to Vancouver, while Shane stays in Montreal and nurses his broken heart. But an ending isn't always an ending, and the spectre of their love burns far too brightly to go down easy. A tale of love, heartache, redemption, and forging the happiness you deserve for yourself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,571
    Chapters:
    6/25
    Comments:
    599
    Kudos:
    1,076
    Bookmarks:
    532
    Hits:
    29,973

    02 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Haven’t started yet.

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    As Shane and Ilya prepare for their first season together on the Centaurs, something in their sex life has shifted in the aftermath of the day Ilya fucked Shane in the trophy room of his Montreal home. When the season starts, and Shane realizes that some of his old anxiety has come with him to Ottawa, the two discover that new explorations of power exchange give Shane a kind of mental peace that might be the key to mastering it.

    Follow Shane and Ilya as they learn a new language together, starting from just before the Epilogue of The Long Game, as they find new strength in each other and begin their journey to build a new dynasty with the Centaurs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,686
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    212
    Kudos:
    1,355
    Bookmarks:
    517
    Hits:
    30,030

    28 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Read from halfway thru ch 3

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Once the glow of the cottage fades and the boys have to head back to the real world, they have to start the long difficult year being separated before Ilya signs with Ottawa. Or at least that was the plan, until Ilya opened his mouth and accidentally got himself traded to Montreal. But it’s fine, just one year for Ilya in Montreal and then their 10 year plan is back on track… Right?

    Through their year on the same team, Ilya helps Shane come to terms with the fact that his team kinda sucks, Hayden gets chirped into oblivion but still realizes that maybe Ilya Rozanov isn’t nearly as bad of a guy as he thought, and Hollanov come to terms with a new question they didn’t expect to ask.

    Now that they’ve gotten a taste of living together and being on the same team, how are they ever going to give it up?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,008
    Chapters:
    12/15
    Comments:
    563
    Kudos:
    1,512
    Bookmarks:
    564
    Hits:
    37,923

    23 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 13

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Victims of Shane Hollander’s ‘tism rizz (support group for queer hockey players)

    Ilya Rozanov was added to the chat

    OR: After coming out to none other than Troy Barrett, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander's recent fiancé, is added to a group chat full of queer hockey players on the current league. The twist? Almost every single one of them had some interaction with Hollander that made them, at the very least, question things. It goes as well as expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,773
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    3,916
    Bookmarks:
    739
    Hits:
    34,037

    18 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on 3

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,141
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    4,382
    Kudos:
    16,543
    Bookmarks:
    4,164
    Hits:
    387,651

    07 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 30

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Why the fuck do you care what happens to Rozanov?”

    Shane doesn’t answer.

    He’s already running for the Raiders’ locker room.

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or, Ilya has a panic attack in the Raiders' locker room after getting a phone call from his brother telling him about his father’s death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,511
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    3,426
    Kudos:
    21,754
    Bookmarks:
    6,575
    Hits:
    556,782

    05 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 21

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In late October, Ilya picks up some kind of freakish Canadian flu that dogs him into November.

    It is the weirdest shit. He has to duck out of practice because his nose starts bleeding twice in one week and he wakes up in a hotel in Columbus with another one that leaves stains on the pillow. On the flight back to Ottawa, Hazy drops into the seat next to Ilya midflight and asks, "This isn't, like, a cocaine thing, right?"

    Ilya laughs so hard it's probably a little rude.

    They have a plan. Ilya's body has a different plan.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,777
    Chapters:
    12/20
    Comments:
    1,592
    Kudos:
    3,773
    Bookmarks:
    1,153
    Hits:
    98,019

    30 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting for ch 13

  17. Public Bookmark 95

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    Summary

    The NHL introduces a rule that every omega hockey player needs to be bonded... to an alpha.

    Quickly, Shane offers a solution.

    He offers to bond with Ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,983
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    429
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    12,626

    29 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 5

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    2014: Ilya Rozanov shocks the world and breaks Shane Hollander’s heart by disappearing without explanation, and without a goodbye kiss.

    2024: A devastating injury forces Shane to retire early, so he moves to a small town to coach girls hockey and figure out what the hell to do with the rest of his life.

    When recently divorced Ilya Rozanov walks into the rink with his twin girls, Shane has to decide if he’s brave enough to risk a second chance on a broken heart, and a rekindled romance with the first and only boy he ever loved.

    ***

    “So.” Ilya cleared his throat. “Should we tell the girls their Daddy and their coach used to date?”

    “We didn’t date. We hooked up a few times, then you disappeared.” Shane looked away to hide his heartbreak as he lied, “It doesn’t even matter. It’s not like I loved you or anything.”

    “No, of course not.” Ilya tried to smile through a lie of his own, “I didn’t love you either.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    377,947
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    11,343
    Kudos:
    22,943
    Bookmarks:
    8,590
    Hits:
    1,427,939

    28 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on Ch 22

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    @ russianbear clove 

     roz is so fucking funny man had two seconds to process and he spent them thinking about how to get that ass

    @ icemenace Ro - he's so real

    @ shaneybugbug Libby - oh he's been WAITING for this 

    @ iwant81 Abbie - he was so obviously joking oh my god 

    @ russianbear clove  - ummmm i don't think so

    @ iwant81 Abbie - rozanov likes girls english just isn't his first language so he accidentally made it look like something you freaks are taking advantage of

    @ russianbear clove - so he's joking or it was an accident??? Istg at least chose one

     

    or - Shane Hollander comes out and Ilya loses his mind

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,057
    Chapters:
    13/23
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    3,901
    Kudos:
    15,011
    Bookmarks:
    4,345
    Hits:
    316,021

    27 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Waiting on ch 14

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    4,365
    Kudos:
    44,763
    Bookmarks:
    12,418
    Hits:
    589,926

    20 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Finished

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