hemlockq
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A hint of a smile graces Vetinari's mouth in the darkness. It is an evil thing. “Will you be good now?”
Vetinari allows enough slack into the leash for Vimes to fully lift up his head and sneer in Vetinari’s face. “Who do you think is in charge here, sir?”
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the coulomb barrier by hemlockq
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
18 Apr 2026
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Ianthe said, “You want me to die? Knowing our luck, sis, I probably will. I’ll die young and bloody. Why don’t you actually work on getting your degree, to honor those who did the same? Why don’t you-”
Instead of saying do not push me - instead of turning around and closing the door - instead of leaving the city and never coming back - you clawed Ianthe in the face. The slap resounded, and her hands flew to her cheek and came away dotted with red where your nails had torn her skin.
This was how you lived together, the rise and fall of blood.
(A Harrow the Ninth physicists AU.)
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Dead bodies. Missing clocks. Lord Downey kidnapped (perhaps less unfortunate than the first two). Ankh-Morpork once again becomes the stage for the City Watch, and they are tired of acting.
Lady Vetinari presides. Lady Sybil wonders what's going on with her...husband...
And Vimes, while chasing a man who is rapidly becoming an aardvark, stumbles into a lesbian bar.
Things are, in short, complicated.
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A platter of ham sandwiches and assorted snacks tested gravity on Vetinari’s forearm. He was wearing - ye gods, he was wearing sandals and sunglasses. Black sandals and black sunglasses...
Vimes’s mouth dropped open. “Respectfully, sir,” he said, gesturing vaguely at Vetinari’s entire being, “what the fuck.”
(Vimes and Vetinari spend a day at the beach.)
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grace like gold by hemlockq
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
03 Dec 2024
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You are Tarnished. You arise from the dark. You nurture the power of death in your hands. A longsword bows your back; you are a scythe-shaped monstrosity swallowed by a world that you do not recognize. And, you remember, you remember: you are Harrowhark Nonagesimus, the Reverend Daughter, a Priestess of the Ninth, a scholar, now Tarnished, and you are the most powerful necromancer of your generation.
Recent series
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Recent bookmarks
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Totally Platonic and Work Appropriate Group Chat by man1cpixiedreamcowboy (pr1nce_steve)
Fandoms: The Pitt (TV)
31 Oct 2025
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“Are your geriatric boyfriends sexting you right now or something?”
“They are not my boyfriends! And they're not that old!”
“Right, right, sorry. Your gay-married middle aged bosses that have taken a totally professional interest in you… in wanting to fuck you, that is,” She mutters, glancing up to see his burning face, “Holy shit, they are sexting you!”
(a one shot that deceptively is not a textfic nor does it have sexting, sorry)
Series
- Part 1 of dennis & trinity gossip sessions
Bookmarked by hemlockq
03 May 2026
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For various reasons - including an assassination attempt and somebody's terrible language skills - Vimes and Vetinari end up at a Quirmian wedding pretending to be a couple.
For the prompts 'fake relationship' and 'tipping chin up' as requested by red_edelweiss.
Now finished! This was another excuse for me to have fun with some romance tropes; kindly excuse the self-indulgence.
- Language:
- English
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- 36,096
- Chapters:
- 11/11
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- 2
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- 377
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Bookmarked by hemlockq
25 Jan 2026
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Inventory by Arcane Charisma (Saras_Girl) for tupti
Fandoms: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
18 Aug 2025
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“Assassins,” he mutters so quietly that it’s barely more than a sigh, and then his eyes flit to Vetinari, because they always do, and because, for once, Vetinari is not looking at him.
[in which Vimes stares, Vetinari is stared at, and very little guild business is resolved]
Series
- Part 1 of Stripped
Bookmarked by hemlockq
10 Jan 2026
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Court martialed, dishonorably discharged from the MMC, and used as a prop during Chrisjen's state dinner on Mars - what if, during their conversation afterward, Bobbie had just a little bit more of a temper, and they were somewhere just a little bit more private?
Or:
"Ma'am, respectfully? Go fuck yourself."
"Fuck me yourself, you coward."Bookmarked by hemlockq
09 Jan 2026
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Summary
When Crowley opens the hotel room door and gets a full look at the dom he's hired, his first very uncharitable thought is that this is never going to work.
It's the beaming smile, the untidy mop of cherubic curls, the rather twee outfit. There's an overall aesthetic of a kindly, gay caricature from a vintage greeting card come to life, and nothing about that lines up with the sort of person Crowley's successfully gone under for before.
His second thought is that he knows a lot bloody better than to judge someone's ability to dominate him by looks alone, and that he's only being such a hypocritically judgmental dick because his anxiety's got him doomsdaying everything again—which is why he's hired someone to help him achieve his own version of meditation in the first place.
OR
Crowley's anxiety is interfering with his kink life so badly that he decides to hire a professional dom to help get him into subspace. It goes horribly until it goes absolutely amazing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 3
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Bookmarked by hemlockq
14 Aug 2025