Pennyvicious



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    Mike and Will get summer jobs as lifeguards at the Hawkins Community Pool during college break. Will just wants to forget about his first failed relationship. Mike wants to make it an unforgettable summer.

    CPR training gets complicated when you're hot for your "straight" best friend and he keeps wanting to practice his mouth-to-mouth technique.

    "Should we… practice again?" Mike said finally. "Now?"

    Language:
    English
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    140,998
    Chapters:
    27/27
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    03 Jun 2026

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    Armand thinks himself great at first impressions. He ought to be, having spent so many years twisting himself into whatever form most pleases.

    But when he met Daniel, he had already shattered into the pieces of himself that are loud, insincere, cruel. The pieces that are not worth loving, some part of his mind whispers, in a voice that could belong to Louis or to Lestat or to any number of others whom he has tried to fit inside of himself and keep, an endeavor which has only ever ended in the same blistering disappointment.

    And now—as he is sitting in the wreckage of another failed attempt at shaping himself into a home, covered in plaster dust from an outburst of rage only a fraction as bright as that which he deserved—now all there is left in front of him is Daniel.

    Armand, Daniel, and the monsters memory makes of us.

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    13,611
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    01 May 2026

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    Daniel is sprawled out across the bed, loose-limbed and lazy, somehow filling all the open space it has to offer and leaving Armand to nestle into the gaps. His cheeks are flushed, blood pooling like it knows what comes next. Maybe it does. Armand was reading about classical conditioning the other day. About dogs who become accustomed to getting food when their handler rings a bell.

    Perhaps Daniel is the dog, Armand’s teeth sharp bells reverberating in his veins. Or perhaps Armand is the dog, Daniel’s blood a song rattling in his ears. He has been a dog before. He runs his tongue along the bow of Daniel’s collarbone, gathers the salt-sweat there and imagines what it tastes like because Daniel does.


    Armand remembers he loved Daniel, once, and that Daniel loved him. Or a version of them did, at least. It isn't his intention to go back to that, but it's not not his intention, either. Such is the prerogative of an immortal: to hold two contradicting desires simultaneously. If nothing else, it passes the time while he waits for this miserable interview to end.

    Language:
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    145,408
    Chapters:
    30/30
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    18 Apr 2026

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    Will and Mike accidentally overhear a couple talking dirty over the walkie, and start repeating some of the filthy phrases to each other for shits and giggles. What starts as a joke, soon turns into something they can't stop doing – and can’t tell anyone about.

    Or:

    Mike and Will start talking dirty to each other for fun. What they don't consider is that it would accidentally turn them on.

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    14/?
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    22 Mar 2026

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    Fifteen years have passed since Aziraphale returned to Heaven, and still sometimes Crowley feels shell shocked and embarrassed and grief-stricken. And mostly, he still feels numb. Fifteen years isn’t really so long, in the grand scheme of things, and yet these have somehow been the longest years of his existence. He can almost feel time crawling by, laughing at him.

    But slowly, so slowly, Crowley began to try again. To try harder. To find a piece of himself that Aziraphale had not touched. To find a piece of himself that does not need changing.

    On his good days, he can open up. His friends come over to the flat, once in a while, and Maggie brings new records and Muriel brings burnt cookies that no-one complains about because they're so proud of them. They'll exchange stories and simply enjoy each other's company for a few hours.

    And sometimes, he feels almost alright.

    Until Crowley turns around and Aziraphale is there, standing in front of him, trying to stop the world from ending all over again.

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    Language:
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    Words:
    100,666
    Chapters:
    28/28
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    25 Feb 2026