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Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat by stump_not_found
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
18 Dec 2024
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Summary
The kids fall through the portal, and Stanley chases after them. He will not lose them the way he lost his brother.
Refusing to repeat the mistake of 30 years ago, the family becomes stranded in the multiverse, stuck without a clear path home. Stan's got his brother back, at least, but Stanford isn't the same as Stan remembers. Looks the same, sure, talks the same, absolutely - but he's got a 'professional working relationship' with Bill Cipher that Stan'd really rather not interrogate, and seems to have changed his whole vibe from Virgin Loser, to Space Cowboy Wizard; Which isn't all that different, now that Stan thinks about it.
Stan and Ford must now find a way to kill Bill, get the family back to Earth, and try to keep the ghosts of their past from tearing them apart. Again. Same boat, different planks, and neither one can deal with their own reflection in the water.
Well, whatever. They can handle this.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,209
- Chapters:
- 8/21
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,048
- Kudos:
- 2,011
- Bookmarks:
- 559
- Hits:
- 61,106
Bookmarked by GhostArson
21 Mar 2026
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"Come on a normal human date with me, and I'll let your family go."
At the end of the line and the end of his rope, Ford is faced with an enticing offer.
He just wishes Bill had better taste in bars.
Bookmarked by GhostArson
15 Mar 2026
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When Ford summons Bill back into his mind after a particularly needy wet dream, the two of them decide to strike an agreement. They may be mortal enemies, but there's no reason they can't still fool around and get nasty with it. It's just sex; no strings attached.
Well… besides the one binding them physically, mentally, and emotionally, of course.
Bookmarked by GhostArson
14 Mar 2026
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"I know what a breakup looks like," Daniel says. "The better question is, why are you coming to me about it? I'm the one who broke up your little sham."
"This is what humans do, don't they?" Armand asks, letting his voice drop. "Crashing on their friends' couches when there's a blip in their romances?"
"Except we're not friends. We're actually very much not friends." Daniel shrugs, as if it's all the same to him. "And I can't imagine the great vampire Armand deigning himself to sleep on my fucked-up sofa. That thing's been here since the nineties."
"Well," Armand only says. "I saw you have a guest bedroom."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,951
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 975
- Kudos:
- 8,884
- Bookmarks:
- 2,511
- Hits:
- 128,304
Bookmarked by GhostArson
11 Jan 2026
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Summary
After a massive data breach targeting ATN, an anonymous user announces they gained access to a year's worth of confidential information, including chat logs and private pictures exchanged between Roman Roy and president Jeryd Mencken.
It's all downhill from there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 94,916
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 237
- Kudos:
- 958
- Bookmarks:
- 197
- Hits:
- 23,909
Bookmarked by GhostArson
04 Dec 2025

