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“…wait. What did you say?”
It wasn’t just Tony that stopped and full on stared at Bucky, it was the whole goddamn kitchen because Bucky had blurted out all that stupidity during breakfast with the entire team and now everyone was paused in various stages of eating and gaping at the big soldier.
“What did you say?” Tony asked again, incredulously, hilariously, high pitched and almost squeaking because there was no way Steve’s best friend had just said…
“I said if you’re gonna steal my hoodies, at least ride me while you wear them.” Bucky mumbled all in a rush, head ducked and arms folded, staring hard at the floor and more than slightly wishing it would open up and swallow him whole. “Seems like th’least you could for bein’ a dirty thief and all.”
“A–a dirty thief?” Tony’s jaw nearly unhinged in shock. “Did you just call me– did he just call me a thief? STEVE! Your frosty fucking friend just called me a–”
“I have never been less a part of a conversation than I am at this moment.” The Captain cut Tony off with a quick shake of his head, went back to eating his generic, plain bran cereal and shook his head again. “Absolutely not. Not getting involved.”
“Don’t even look at me.” Bruce was eating an equally plain bowl of equally plain bran cereal, and when Tony turned to Clint and Tasha for support, he was met with fascinatingly nosy expressions from over the top of their chocolate frosted sugar bombs. Thor was passed out after drinking a gallon of milk, Sam was the only one who cared about early morning runs so he wasn’t around to help, which meant it was just Tony and the former Winter Soldier who had definitely just sort of suggested he wouldn’t mind being ridden like the proverbial bronco so long as Tony was wearing his hoodie.
And well, Tony Stark was never one to back away from a dare so when the entire team either looked away or looked at him waiting to see what happened, he made a quick decision.
”Yeah, alright Barnes.” Tony chugged the rest of his coffee and wiped his mouth, tossed the mug towards the sink and levelled Bucky with his most challenging eyebrow lift. “Go find a couch.”
“Go find a– a couch?” Bucky blinked, then blinked again. “Are you serious?”
“I have exactly no plans to stop stealing your ridiculously warm and giant hoodies, so yeah.” Tony sniffed and straightened his shoulders, pushed the long sleeves up so his hands were free and jerked his thumb towards the living room. “Square up. Find a couch.”
“You are definitely not squaring up on a couch.” Bruce didn’t even skip a beat. “Find a room.”
“Find a room.” Tony amended and the kitchen went tense and silent and waiting…
…”Fine.” Bucky finished his coffee too, shoved his hands into his pockets and met Tony’s gaze straight on. “I’ll find a room. You bring a hoodie and that ass and we’ll just see what happens.”
“You’re on.” Tony retorted and Bucky snapped right back, “That’s right, I’m on. Let’s go.”
“Bring it.”
“You first, thief.”
“Get a move on, you giant frosty…” Tony ran out of adjectives and threw his hands up in disgust. “Just go! No ones gonna call me a thief and then not get fucked, that is not how this works!”
“None of this should be anything about how anything works.” Steve said loudly but neither Bucky nor Tony were listening as they stalked from the kitchen and towards a room for the proverbial square up.
“Do we sound like that when we flirt?” Clint wanted to know, and Bruce provided, “You and Tasha sound worse. I’ve never heard actual threats used as foreplay before I moved in here.”
“Gotta keep things spicy.” Nat high fived her husband, then pulled a fifty out and waved it in the air. “The usual bet? Fifty says those two dick it out and then finally admit they’re in love. Tony only steals those hoodies to get Bucky to pay attention to him and Bucky keeps buying them so Tony steals them.”
“I’ll pay you fifty just to never say dick it out again.” Steve slapped a bill down and after a moment of grumbling, Bruce followed suit. “Everybody agreed? No more of that phrase?”
“Eh, we’ll see what happens.”
*********
“We’ll just see what happens.” Tony mocked as he kicked Bucky’s door shut with his foot and followed the soldier towards the bed. “You wanna see what happens when you call me names, Barnes? Fuck around and find out.”
“Still waiting for you to bring that ass over here so I can.” Bucky sat back onto the bed and stripped his shirt up and off, planted his feet on the floor and spread his knees wide. “Let’s see it.”
“This is your own fault, you know.” Tony said as he kicked out of his jammie pants. “You don’t have to buy hoodies in a specific brand I like, you could just buy the same ones as Stars and Gripes, I never steal his stuff.”
“You could also not get into my room an’ steal anything at all! Don’t care if they are the hoodies you like, they’re fuckin–” Bucky gulped when Tony straddled his lap, silver fingers closing reflexively around the little waist. “They’re fuckin– mine.”
“Kiss me and do something about it, then.” Tony challenged and then gasped when Bucky surged up and crushed their mouths together, shoved his tongue past Tony’s lips and tried to outright devour him.
“What–what–” Tony yanked away with wide eyes, pushed the hood off his head and stared down at Bucky in surprise. “You actually kissed me. You actually kissed me?”
“Pretty sure that’s what we were doin’.” Bucky’s pale eyes flickered uncertainly. “You told me t’do something about it so I did.”
“Y-Yeah.” Tony licked his lips, chasing the taste of coffee and Bucky on his tongue. “Yeah, I sure did.”
“You sure did.” Cautiously, almost gently, big hands up Tony’s bare thighs until Bucky’s fingers met the smooth skin hidden just under the over sized hoodie that had definitely come from his closet. “You wanna fuck around and do it again? Maybe see if it’s better the second time?”
“It’s either that or I’m never gonna stop stealing your hoodies.” Tony found a minute piece of snark buried somewhere beneath the blue screen that was his brain as metal fingers– oh and real ones too, the real fingers were definitely just as much a turn on as the super hot, super cyborgy metal fingers. Yep– as metal fingers slid to the vee of his hips and Bucky tugged Tony closer and closer up his lap.
“I mean–” Tony gulped when a smooth palm smoothed over his ass. “–if you’re really upset about me taking your clothes, we should probably keep going.”
“Ah fuck sugar, I’m real upset about you takin’ my clothes.” Bucky growled, and Tony tapped along pecs that rivaled even Steve’s All American Tiddies and decided, “I think you should work some of that stress out immediately.”
“Think you should keep my hoodie on while I do it.”
“I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”
“Think I should fuck ya till you can’t even walk to my closet to steal anything anymore.”
Later, Tony would come up with half a dozen zingers to counteract the damn cocky smirk on Bucky’s stupid perfect face, but for right now… for right now he was reaching into the loose fit pajama fits and discovering exactly why Bucky had to buy the loose fit cut.
“Holy thick, Batman!” he blurted, and Bucky’s laugh was muffled in a messy kiss, tongues slick and busy, fingers slick and busy when he grabbed lube from under his pillow–
–”Wait.” Tony pulled away from the kiss but had no intention of letting go of Bucky’s dick. “You aren’t dating anyone, why do you have lube under your pillow?”
“Fella’s gotta jack off sometime, Tony.” Bucky said blandly, and squirted a more than generous amount over their hands. “Specially since you walk around lookin’ all obnoxious and cute and sexy in my clothes. Can’t just hang out with a damn boner, gotta do somethin’ for it.”
“Is it the super soldier thing that makes everything you say sound like a vague threat?” Tony shuddered when Bucky’s cock flexed against his palm, shuddered again when wet fingers probed down along the crack of his ass and headed for his hole. “Or the being slightly over a hundred thing?”
“Jus’ me, sugar.” Bucky thrust up into Tony’s grip and groaned. “Elsewise Stevie would be all threatening and sexy too and we both know that shit ain’t true.”
Tony laughed way harder than he should have over that comment, but he stopped laughing long enough to ask, “Hey use–use your left hand?” and Bucky did another one of those growly things that was just insanely hot before using his left hand to open Tony up, stretching out his rim with silver fingers and probing deep until Tony was crying out, shaking on top of him and gasping as the soldier held him tight and added a third because there was no way he’d fit up in that sweet ass without at least three fingers in there first.
The hoodie was one hundred percent in the way but Bucky one hundred percent didn’t care. There was too much material to shove out of the way when he got himself lined up with Tony’s hole and pushed and pushed and pushed until he got inside but it was totally worth it. Tony was adorable with sweater paws but fuckin’ hell did Bucky love the little brunette grabbing and yanking at his hair instead. Bucky was sweating from the effort of holding himself still and allowing Tony the ride, but Tony was sweating wrapped up in the heavy hoodie as he fucked himself down on Bucky’s cock, thighs slapping together and cock bobbing in the air between them, curls plastering to his forehead as they kissed and gasped for breath and kissed and licked through each others mouth and kissed and sweated and kissed and fucked–
– “You steal my hoodie again and I’m gonna spank your ass till it’s bright red and you’re beggin’ me t’stop.” Bucky swore as he sucked a bruise onto Tony’s throat.
“Don’t you threaten me with a good time.” Tony raked his nails down Bucky’s stomach and groaned over the utterly ridiculous flex of muscles.
“You wanna get spanked, sugar?”
“This ass ain’t just here for sitting on, you feel me?”
“Oh I fuckin’ feel ya.”
Tony knew he was going to be sore tomorrow, he’d be sore and cranky and still most likely leaking cos when Bucky growled a curse and came inside him nothing stopped until Tony’s stomach hurt.
“Wow.” Tony gasped through a dirty kiss, clenched up tight around Bucky when he tried to pull out and grabbed at the soldier’s hand to fit around his own cock, showing Bucky just how to touch him, stroke him, drive him right out of his ever loving mind. “Wow, I didn’t know I had that kink.”
“What kink’s that?” Bucky pushed the hem of the hoodie away so he could watch Tony’s cock as it hardened up in his hand, started spilling and leaking over his knuckles. “You got a kink, baby doll?”
“Being stuffed up so damn full my stomach swells up from it.” he gasped, rocked and throbbed and bit his lip clear through as he started to come. “Ah-ah-ah fuck Bucky, I want you to fuck me till I look half damn preg–”
“Shit, Tony–”
**********
The next morning Tony was limping, whimpering through each step, wrapped up in another one of Bucky’s hoodies and definitely leaking a little into a pair of Bucky’s pajama pants.
His stomach hurt and his ass hurt and he had one rather super soldier size palm print on his butt when from when Bucky had growled at him get face down in the pillows and Tony had sassed “make me.” and well…
…well anyway.
“That another one of my hoodies, Stark?” Bucky wanted to know from over his cup of coffee, but this time it was just them in the kitchen because apparently Tasha had won some sort of bet and taken everyone else out to breakfast with the money.
“Sure as shit, Barnes.” Tony sipped at his coffee, popped some ibuprofen, and sipped his coffee again. “You gonna do something about it?”
“Any room left in your ass for me to do something about it?”
And Tony grinned just a little bit because at one point last night Bucky had whispered sort of unsure– you know I’m real crazy about you, right baby doll?-- and Tony had whispered right back– we done been knew, Frosty-- and that time their kiss had been damn near tender.
So yeah, Tony grinned just a little bit and answered, “Why don’t we fuck around and find out?”