refuseniik
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philophobia. by theweakestthing
Fandoms: The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch (2019)
19 Jan 2022
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philophobia [ fil-uh-foh-bee-uh ]:
(n.) (from Greek "φιλέω-φιλώ" (love) and "φοβία" (phobia)) the fear of falling in love or being in love. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love. This affects the quality of life and pushes a person away from commitment. A negative aspect of this fear of being in love or falling in love is that it keeps a person in solitude. It represents certain guilt and frustration towards the reaction coming from inside.
Theo knows what the problem is, but that doesn't mean that he's going to do anything about it.
Bookmarked by refuseniik
20 Jul 2026
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the needle in the dark (when the sun kicks out) by p3trichor (orphan_account) for putanauhere
Fandoms: The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch (2019)
22 Oct 2019
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Boris thinks a lot about how they’d die in Vegas. Boris with some dramatic explosive death, chaotic and loud and maybe an accident. Falling off a building or getting hit by a car or killing himself with drugs. Theo would implode in on himself, quiet and polite and nondisruptive. Drinking himself to death or bleeding out in a bathtub. Both boys just like dying stars, deciding whether it’s worth it to turn into a black hole or not.
Theo and Boris keep finding each other, for better or for worse.
Bookmarked by refuseniik
30 Jun 2026
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“You kissed me. We were fourteen. I still remember.”
Bookmarked by refuseniik
30 Jun 2026
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It’s not his fault he had to leave home, leave Vegas, leave you. You know this. It doesn’t make it hurt any less to know that he’s gone for good.
Or, the boy and the desert and the painting and everything in between.
Series
- Part 2 of people who weep for the death of rivers
Bookmarked by refuseniik
30 Jun 2026
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folded and unfolded and unfolding (i am) by boxedblondes
Fandoms: The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
15 Jan 2020
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Even in youth, some ancient part of your brain must have already known that the future was inevitable, that it would be here before you knew it. Hence the dreams. Hence their progression, every single time: You are trapped. You want to escape, to run, to be free. Someone is following you and you know you must evade them, that to be caught is tantamount to certain death, to the destruction of all you are. Running, always running, with no destination in sight. Just the deep-down knowledge that you must go, that you must go now.
Imprisonment. Escape. Capture. Over and over again.
After Amsterdam, Theo doesn't go back to New York.
Bookmarked by refuseniik
29 Jun 2026