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  1. Summary

    Shane Hollander is everything a team could want. He shows up early, stays late, and fixes mistakes before they ever become more then blips. By every metric he is the perfect player.

    Perfection, it turns out, is not the same thing as being okay.

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  2. Words:
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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
    7/7
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    17 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    There was a burst of static, a gusty sigh. "Shanushka, you have the biggest 'bottom eyes' I have ever seen."

    "That's not a thing."

    "It is absolutely a thing, and that thing is you," she cackled, and he hung up the phone, ears so hot they should have been smoking.

    --

    Or, Shane meets Svetlana first, and it changes everything and nothing.

    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
    8/?
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    16 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The fire went out a long time ago. All that remains is ash.

    After years of trafficking, Ilya Rozanov has been conditioned to expect pain from every outstretched hand. So when he's placed with Shane Hollander, a seemingly gentle man in a quiet cottage, he knows better than to believe that it's rescue. It is a new chance to be good enough, if he can just figure out what this one wants from him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,838
    Chapters:
    4/?
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    1
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    15 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 4.

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    It was a Friday when the video dropped.

    “What is happening?” He asked St Simon, who was holding his phone tight to his chest, his expression odd. “Someone has died?” 

    Across the room he could see Marlow moving slowly upright from where he had been doing floor stretches, his phone in his hand as well, his face pinched. 

    “It’s Hollander,” St Simon said. 

    The bottom of Ilya’s stomach fell out, closely followed by the rest of Ilya’s organs. His chest hurt so acutely that he thought he must be having a heart attack. 

    “Not dead,” St Simon added quickly, reaching out to grab Ilya’s shoulder when Ilya’s knees actually buckled. “Jesus, sorry. I should have - no it’s just -” 

    “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” Ilya snapped, “and everyone else shut up.” 

    Marlow reached him now, held his phone out to Ilya, open already to an article with a headline huge enough Ilya could easily make out the HOLLANDER blaring out of it even before his eyes focused and he took the phone from Marlow. 

    A video is posted online, for Shane it feels like a death sentence. For some parts of him, it is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,245
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    12 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 38

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    At home, the earthy scent of beets, and sunshine filtering through the Venetian blinds. Ilya at the stove and Shane passed out on the sofa, both glistening with perspiration: three fans, however strategically placed, could do only so much to keep the scalding heat at bay.

    ***

    By conventional standards, Scott Hunter was an accomplished individual - crème de la crème of ice hockey, top one percent earner, three times winner of the Lady Byng trophy for gentlemanly conduct and co-founder of two charities. His pride and joy, however, were Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, the latest addition to the New York Admirals’ roster. They were also, incidentally, his lovers. And since they’d decided he was theirs, he’d do everything in his power to be deserving of their affection. Anything, facing his worst fear.

    But how can he live in the present when the past and the future are stacked against him? And how can he keep loving them if it might harm them?

    ***

    Disclaimer: This won't make an ounce of sense unless you read Part One - Tempt Not A Desperate Man

    DISCLAIMER: This work includes explicit themes of internalised homophobia, disordered eating, family abuse and suicidal thoughts, among others.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,624
    Chapters:
    3/?
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    149
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    38
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    05 Jul 2026