1 - 20 of 63 Works by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
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The Traveler and the Fae by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Sparrow1M
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
05 Apr 2026
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Once there was a man who passed into faery lands. The man had been in a hurry, though if you were to ask the man he would not be able to tell you why. The result is the same, regardless. A trespasser is never looked upon with fondness, humans even less so, and the faery demanded the man provide recompense.
The man, unfamiliar with fae laws, gave his name and was cursed to spend his days as a traveler, only able to settle in one place for 100 days or less.
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A Traveler is drawn back to the Winter Court after being cursed where he must fulfill four tasks and, perhaps, even slay a king.
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now listen to that heart rate by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for drygrasses
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
03 Apr 2026
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Legundo is peacefully studying in the library when Scott Goldsmith decides to drop-by. How wonderful.
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[podfic] your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
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Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[web weave/collage] sing of the moon by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for starshapedballoon
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Mumbo and Pearl go stargazing <3
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[podfic] butterflies by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Vanyel
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tango breathes in, then out, then hides his face in the crook of Zedaph's neck. Violet eyes lazily blink open in response. “Sumthin’ wrong?” he asks, and Tango feels it when he speaks, his free hand splayed out against the other's chest. Tango frowns as he collects his thoughts.
”I think I have a crush,” he whispers.
It was such a simple sentence, and yet, Tango felt like he had just confessed his darkest secret.
Or; Tango is nervous about telling his partners about his feelings for his soulmate. They take it better than expected.
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[podfic] Shooting Your Extra Shot by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for AmethystLavender
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Everyone at the coffee shop bets on if Owen and the doctor will get their acts together.
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Tango goes to work sick, his lovers/co-workers do not approve of this and take it upon themselves to help him feel better.
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gave us something more than scars by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for pebbltree
Fandoms: Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Cleo, Gem, and Pearl in the aftermath of the attack on Emon.
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your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
—
Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[podfic] Loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Owen had been drunk enough to be pleasantly swimming, eyes blinking languidly— he wasn’t going to turn down free wine, especially from the Goldsmith cellars. But at the sight of Pyro crawling into Scott’s lap with no sense of propriety, he had sat straight and cold and sober, heat rushing to his bloodless face and fingers tightening on his goblet.
Scott had looked… smug, was the only word for it, pulling Pyro’s head down to rest against his shoulder, and indulgently bringing his hand up to run through his fledglings dark hair. Owen found his eyes drawn helplessly to the motion, fingers cold and stiff where they were clenched on the goblet and the table surface, pupils dilated in the dim candle flicker light of the formerly grand banquet hall. Scott had made eye contact with him, his smile slow and sharp. A bare flicker of pointed white teeth flashed on his bottom lip as Pyro let out a content sigh and relaxed, half on Scott’s lap, and half tucked onto the grand chair Scott had positioned at the head of the table.
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[podfic] Definition of Insanity by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Astral_Song
Fandoms: Empires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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In which Joel tries to assassinate Prince Scott.
...Again. But hey, maybe it will work this time! Twentieth time's the charm, after all!
At this point, Scott's wondering if his heart's even in it.
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take me by the hand by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for codesandstuffs
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Tango and Zedaph spend time together in Zedaph's alchemy lab when he adds something interesting to the mixture.
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Something is very, very wrong with the Postal System.
It's the Postmaster's job to fix it. No matter what. -
like some perfect bullet (to knock me off my feet) by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for maevedelights
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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A florist moves in next door. Drift investigates, and ends up with a crush.
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[web weave/collage] someone has to leave first by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Bookwyrm__13
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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A web weave/collage about Apokuna and her death.
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this kinda feeling doesn't need x-rays by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for BugWizard
Fandoms: Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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BigB wakes up with a migraine. This doesn't stop them from going to Lizzie's tattoo parlor.
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[podfic] craving the dream of knowing you by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for maikuria
Fandoms: Empires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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“Look who’s made it!” says a voice fWhip knows all too well.
Solidarity —“Jimmy” to friends and fWhips everywhere— grins at him from the other side of the café. It looks unpleasantly white. Even here, in an ugly brown coat and with bright green shoes, he looks polished. It’s really unfair. fWhip has to put effort into looking less like a slouch when he’s not on the job.
(fWhip can't believe he keeps running into his rival at runways. And no, he's not happy about it. Not even a little bit.)
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[podfic] the vein in my neck adores you by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for maikuria
Fandoms: Empires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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“I hate him,” fWhip says, as dignified as he can be with his head pillowed on Joel’s thigh. This is what he gets for trying to be a hero: so much dizziness. He’s never helping any crazy group of eager students haul pianos up any set of stairs. Ever. Especially not if they’re Jimmy’s.
(A piano and an accusation.)
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[podfic] you're the only one on my mind by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Grimaussiewitch
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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3 times Ren was looking at False and one time she looked back.
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the pale light in your hands by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for EnchantedFey
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Only the most experienced, or foolhardy, individuals braved the magic-drenched region. (Or, in Cleo's case, the most desperate.)
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A Swan Lake inspired fairytale.