LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms
- Hermitcraft SMP (11)
- Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series) (10)
- RWBY (10)
- Vampires SMP (8)
- The Magnus Archives (Podcast) (5)
Recent works
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The Traveler and the Fae by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Sparrow1M
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
05 Apr 2026
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Summary
Once there was a man who passed into faery lands. The man had been in a hurry, though if you were to ask the man he would not be able to tell you why. The result is the same, regardless. A trespasser is never looked upon with fondness, humans even less so, and the faery demanded the man provide recompense.
The man, unfamiliar with fae laws, gave his name and was cursed to spend his days as a traveler, only able to settle in one place for 100 days or less.
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A Traveler is drawn back to the Winter Court after being cursed where he must fulfill four tasks and, perhaps, even slay a king.
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now listen to that heart rate by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for drygrasses
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
03 Apr 2026
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Summary
Legundo is peacefully studying in the library when Scott Goldsmith decides to drop-by. How wonderful.
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[podfic] your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
—
Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[web weave/collage] sing of the moon by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for starshapedballoon
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Mumbo and Pearl go stargazing <3
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[podfic] butterflies by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Vanyel
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tango breathes in, then out, then hides his face in the crook of Zedaph's neck. Violet eyes lazily blink open in response. “Sumthin’ wrong?” he asks, and Tango feels it when he speaks, his free hand splayed out against the other's chest. Tango frowns as he collects his thoughts.
”I think I have a crush,” he whispers.
It was such a simple sentence, and yet, Tango felt like he had just confessed his darkest secret.
Or; Tango is nervous about telling his partners about his feelings for his soulmate. They take it better than expected.
Recent series
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RWBY Fanfics by emo_space_gay, LeanMeanSaltineMachine, rivercollabs (theriveroflight), Stormage_dark_lord, sureashyr, UnsteadyShade
Fandom RWBY
09 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 2,233
- Works:
- 1
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coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
14 Feb 2026
Summary
Cody knows there's something weird going on in Pelican Town, and he's determined to figure out what.
- Words:
- 1,229
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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on the open roads by DuskDragon39, LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 20,155
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 6,046
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 4,345
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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three's company by Goldmonger
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Rocky,” I say sharply. The irritation feels unpleasant inside me, foreign like a toxin.
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
08 Jun 2026
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Ave María, ¿Cuándo serás mía? Except it turns out 'cuando' is really relative when it's time travel, y'all by Des98
Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
08 Jun 2026
- Words:
- 52,139
- Works:
- 16
- Bookmarks:
- 1,330
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Home is a Time and the Clock is Missing by Des98
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
09 May 2026
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Summary
Ryland Grace is not going to be one of those *crazy* time travellers. He has more sense than that. He can totally fix things and get back home and nobody will ever be the wiser. The Acting thrum would be so proud of how well he is pulling this off right now.
or
Ryland Grace is a time traveller. He's also the world's smartest idiot. The rest of the team on the Vat is totally gonna let him fix things, but honestly, how stupid does he think they are?
Series
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
08 Jun 2026
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Teacher Grace's Extraordinary Curriculum by Acewithapaintbrush
Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
02 Jun 2026
Summary
Grace has always been a teacher and it's not any different on Erid.
These are his adventures with his pebbles (and Rocky and Adrian of course)
- Words:
- 22,299
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 687
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
08 Jun 2026
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The Greatest Act of Optimism by Acewithapaintbrush
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
The Eridian thrills a high sound that doesn’t get picked up by the translator which means that it has no clear meaning. Like when a human gasps or sucks in a deep breath. It actually sounds a little like that. When they notice that I’m staring straight at them they scramble back into their hiding spot and hold very still.
A child, I realize with a start.
That’s a child!
“Hey,” I call and the kid squeaks again. I was about to get to my feet but abort the movement and crawl closer on my hands and knees until I'm inches away from the xenonite wall. I wait and it takes me much too long to realize that they don’t have to peek around the corner to see if I’m still there.
“Hey there,” I try again, my voice low and calm. It’s my teacher voice, the one I use for shy and scared students.
Used.
The fact that I haven’t had to use it for years and it still comes to me automatically almost knocks the air out of my lungs but this is not about me, it’s about making sure the little pebble doesn’t die of fright from the scary alien. “Hi, I’m Grace. It’s alright, you don’t have to be scared.”
***
How Grace finally gets back into a classroom, where he belongsSeries
- Part 1 of Teacher Grace's Extraordinary Curriculum