Irrlix
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Summary
Cheng Xiaoshi has seen enough pornos to know seducing the devastatingly hot pizza delivery guy should be easy.
His plan is simple:
Step 1. Order pizza
Step 2. Seduce the delivery guy using porn logic
Step 3. Lose virginityEverything falls apart somewhere around Step 2.
Which makes sense, because Cheng Xiaoshi is a disaster bisexual virgin who treats vulnerability like a mortal threat. And Lu Guang—quiet, sharp-eyed, unfairly gorgeous—is utterly unflappable. Still, what starts as a very stupid plan somehow turns into a romance neither of them has any business falling into: against common sense, against probability, and definitely against the Daddy Joe’s employee handbook.
Porn did not prepare Cheng Xiaoshi for this one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,358
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 390
- Kudos:
- 825
- Bookmarks:
- 119
- Hits:
- 16,843
Bookmarked by Irrlix
09 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
entire plot written below; im inlove with this fanfiction im going to throw up and cry its so well written i dont think you understand how good it is its beautiful to the point where i have no words.
the reason im in such a good mood is from a link click shiguang fanfiction a rip off of a pizza brand called daddy joes and a man ready to order called cheng xiaoshi, lu guang the pizza deliverer in this scenario thinks cheng xiaoshi is scamming him because hes whipping out these porn lines to try to seduce lu guang: it fails. Qiao ling (his not bio-bio sister in this au) tells him hes banned from buying daddy joes. he tweaks. he goes to a bar and suprise suprise WHO IS THERE no other than lu guang. hes drunk: he cries, sobs apologies to this employee who he very much is in love with who works at daddy joes. hes drunk enough to not go home. lu guang takes him back to the time photo studio because of course he remebers the man who ordered pizza after pizza to the same location. he drops him of: cheng xiaoshi is not sobering up anytime soon. asks lu guang to not leave grabbing him. Wakes up next day: thoughts-gone sober-horrid hangover: lu guang-bought him breakfest and dipped leaving his sweater on cheng xiaoshi like a blanket made of love., continues to work at daddy joes with his buisness degree collecting dust as he ponders this newfound feeling he pushes to the back of his mind. However long after: cheng xiaoshi goes to shop that night 1am. its starting to pour, he stops outside the shop he bought his food and restles with himself. looks up: its lu guang. cheng xiaoshi wearing his hoodie. lu guang jumps at the lightning that passes: cheng xiaoshi offers cover at the time photo studio- he accepts they go- get somewhat drunk confesses small thoughts of being at the same campus as their tension grows in ways i cannot describe. lu guang leaves after showering and having noodles. he gets home. cheng xiaoshi the day after-now fighting a bad fever for 72h and this is where im glad for daydreaming. the most beloved writing i have ever layed my fucking eyes on it is beautiful etherial even with the way his dreams follow a hazed man lovestruck by a boy with white hair. it is fucking insane this writing its something on par with violet evergarden: grossly digusting to where in going to throw up, i have no words execpt beautiful fucking beautiful. He doesnt see the message from lu guang (as hes dying from ts fever.). he wakes up qiao ling helping him. he doesnt reapond to lu guangs message about the clothes drenched from the rain and left at his place. lu guang is hypnotized by this man and diwnfalling fast. cheng xiaoshi recovers. he texts back. lu guang gets this message as his break happens: his boss- JOE as in the daddy joe from daddy joes pizza blabora of his wife. why you may ask: TO TELL LU GUANG TO GET HIS MAN (well woman) but the way these livebirds are at it is beautiful and this writing is digustingly sexual and so heartwarming i almost threw up and was kicking my feet. daddy joe throws a pizza at lu guang: tells him GO YOUR SHIFT ENDS WHEN I TELL YOU. he gets to the time photo studio: drenched in love and something more. he walks in: "i like you" he tells the man at the counter. they both have this tension unmatched by the waves of love and hazed filled dreams and desires running through their minds.: they tell eachother what theyve been holding back and have aome of the sweetest most vunreable time ive ever read: so comforting,being desired and loved in a fanfiction is something id never thought i wanted but here we are: finishing the last two chapters of the epligoue tommorrow night and going to throw up because this writing is horrendiously good. Thanks for listening to my rant.
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Trending: #akikasa by ryokaee
Fandoms: プロジェクトセカイ カラフルステージ！| Project SEKAI COLORFUL STAGE! (Video Game)
07 Aug 2025
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Akito and Tsukasa are both popular streamers who share a fanbase and a mutual dislike. Yet their fans had been begging for a collab.
Their friends An and Nene (who are also streamers) make it happen.
Bookmarked by Irrlix
12 Aug 2025
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To Appease the Fussy Sovereign by seventhgiver (fifthgiver)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Mar 2024
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"Monsieur Neuvillette has been waiting for you. You may enter now, Your Grace."
Wriothesley nodded, and he tried to think of the wet, muddy puddles his boots left on the floor, the water dripping from his sodden bangs, the chill climbing along his arms, the way his teeth faintly clattered behind his lips—anything but the discussion he was about to have on the other side of those doors.
They had just dealt with a nation-wiping prophecy months ago, surely there shouldn't be anything else more dire than that?
Well, you jinxed it yourself, Your Grace. I wish you the best of lucks with that!
Bookmarked by Irrlix
12 Mar 2024
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In a remote mountain lab, Dottore, one of the Eleven Harbingers of the Fatui, embarked on a sinister project, merging Hilichurls with machinery to create formidable Mecha-Hilichurls. Lisa, Mondstadt's intellectual librarian, discovered this unsettling endeavor during her academic pursuits. As she infiltrated the lab, she was confronted by the eerie Mecha-Hilichurls, a grotesque fusion of organic and mechanical elements. Despite her magical prowess, Lisa was overwhelmed by the sheer number of these mechanical monstrosities, forcing her to retreat to Mondstadt, defeated but determined. Meanwhile, Dottore reveled in his creations, envisioning a new era dominated by his mechanical army. This escalation marked the beginning of a fraught conflict between the Fatui's technological might and the resilient spirit of Mondstadt, setting the stage for an epic saga in Teyvat.
Bookmarked by Irrlix
11 Mar 2024
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"Woah there." Wriothesley began, his eyes focused on Neuvillette's desk. "Sorry, you almost knocked over your glass."
Neuvillette wasn't quite listening. Instead he was staring at Wriothesley with wide eyes as, suddenly, the red of his tie intensified and the tone of his skin grew warmer. When Wriothesley glanced over at him, their eyes meeting, Neuvillette sucked in a breath at the brilliant blue of them. It wasn't a sudden change, not really, more like a slow, creeping emergence of vibrant shades of color that Neuvillette had never seen before. It only took a few seconds but, for someone whose entire life had bordered on monochrome, it was overwhelming.
Dragons saw things in muted tones, bordering on grayscale. That was something Neuvillette had always accepted. However one day, a single accidental touch breathes vibrancy into Neuvillette's life, leaving him questioning everything.
Bookmarked by Irrlix
06 Mar 2024