Ellesar
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Summary
“You need an orgasm.”
That was absolutely the last thing she’d thought Draco Malfoy would ever say to her. Did he even consider her a sexual creature? How interesting. But regardless, his advice was useless because orgasms weren’t something she had ready access to.
“Excellent advice.” She turned a corner suddenly and quickly trotted up the steps. He barely faltered, keeping up with her seamlessly, uncowed by her unwelcoming tone.
“That sounded sarcastic.”
“Ten points to Slytherin,” she said, even more sarcastically, and then winced when she remembered that, as Head Girl, she actually had the authority to grant them and would probably see an additional ten emeralds in their vessel at dinner.
Bugger.
———
Or where Hermione has never had an orgasm and Draco cannot abide.
(This has turned into a full-on sexploration with romance as the plot, and is my ode to sex, good communication, and all my favorite tropes)
Series
- Part 1 of You Do It For Me Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 287,434
- Chapters:
- 55/?
- Comments:
- 4,439
- Kudos:
- 8,409
- Bookmarks:
- 3,496
- Hits:
- 837,036
Bookmarked by Ellesar
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,248
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 2,903
- Kudos:
- 7,202
- Bookmarks:
- 4,267
- Hits:
- 509,188
Bookmarked by Ellesar
06 Jun 2026
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Summary
Seven years after Voldemort’s defeat, the emergence of a sinister curse has driven muggleborns back into hiding. The Ministry has recruited Hermione Granger— a budding medical researcher with a thirst to prove herself— to find a cure for those afflicted. To her great displeasure, they’ve also assigned her a partner: renowned cursebreaker (and reprehensible ponce) Draco Malfoy.
Prewritten - updates every Saturday
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 188,384
- Chapters:
- 44/53
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 987
- Kudos:
- 413
- Bookmarks:
- 324
- Hits:
- 25,910
Bookmarked by Ellesar
01 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Notes have links and nods to other fan fucs to check out
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Summary
Ten years after The Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione Granger is burnt out. A dead end job with a boss who hates her, reporters who can’t decide if she’s a slut or a spinster, and a famous ex the wizarding world just adores. Bouncing back and forth between her current state and a forced 8th year, Hermione is unsure of what she is doing with her life. The decisions she made to end the war didn’t include her surviving it. And now, she finds herself suffering the consequences. Twists of fate keep having her cross paths with Draco Malfoy and his own secrets. With dark wizards turning up, everyone they know getting married, and that one time she bled out in his foyer, she knows she wants Draco, but the publicity could spill all of her secrets.
Bookmarked by Ellesar
28 May 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger has only ever wanted to change the world, one bill and reform at a time. To speak for those who have no voice, and to shine a light on issues no one would consider.
But how can she change the world when hers is falling apart?
Draco Malfoy exists in a world that barely tolerates him, attending parties and acting the playboy, if only to keep his mother from shoving eligible witches down his throat.
When Hermione's life implodes publicly, he finds himself much closer than he should be.
A story about two idiots who orbit each other for far too long before finally colliding.
Bookmarked by Ellesar
23 May 2026