AlwaysBeMyBebe



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    He was walking to his Jeep when the stench of cigarette smoke hit his nose. A few feet away, a tall, broad shouldered figure was standing, back to Shane, watching the sunset. Propped against the wall next to him was the bi-pride flag emblazoned sled.

    “That was a great game.” Shane said, taking a couple steps in the direction of the sledge hockey center. “You’re an amazing player to watch, but you’re really not supposed to smoke here.” The man stiffened and then pivoted slowly towards Shane. Backlit by the setting sun, his facial expression was indiscernible.

    “Oh my God Hollander, you are so boring.”

    Ilya was dead.

    Or at least, Alexei Rozanov said he was. Even after two years, Shane still hoped to see him again. He never imagined reuniting in the parking lot of a community center in suburban Ottawa.
    *
    A family emergency means Ilya and Shane never meet in Las Vegas. In Russia, Alexei uncovers Ilya's sexuality and attacks him, inflicting grievous injuries. Ilya escapes with his life, but is forced into hiding, seeking refugee status in Canada where he builds a quiet, but meaningful, existence.

    The only problem: even two years later, he misses Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,250
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    148
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    629
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    02 Jul 2026

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    Ilya let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “I want to be perfect for you, Shane. To make up for all the time we lost.”

    “I don’t want perfect,” Shane said quietly, stroking Ilya’s cheek. “I want something real. Something that we fight to make work, because we want it so much. Because being together is so much fucking better than being without each other.”

    ***

    Ten years ago, Shane and Ilya loved each other in secret and let each other go anyway.

    Now Shane, captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, is a single dad to four-year-old Ollie, and good at pretending he doesn’t think about the man he lost when they were younger and terrified of the fallout of being caught. Then one chance meeting turns into drinks, lingering looks, old feelings, and suddenly Ilya Rozanov is everywhere again.

    Some things, it turns out, never really leave you.

    As Shane and Ilya fall back into each other’s lives - and into something softer, steadier, and openly theirs this time — they realise maybe they’re finally ready for the life they used to dream about.

    Or: two hockey players who were each other’s first love reconnect ten years later and slowly build the family they always wanted.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,785
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    2,837
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    6,063
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    2,225
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    23 Jun 2026

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    University student, Shane Hollander, visits the Ottawa Omega Health Clinic for his annual gynecological exam and leaves with more than he bargained for.

    Or the one where Shane the Virgin (😜) gets accidentally artificially inseminated with billionaire hotel heir, Ilya Rozanov’s sperm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,942
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    804
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    2,649
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    98,856

    22 Jun 2026

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    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,267
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    4,418
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    15,708
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    486,608

    20 Jun 2026

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    Shane calls a phone sex hotline and gets Ilya crooning unspeakable filth in his ear. It kind of devolves from there.

    ———

    Ilya is a college student in Boston working on the side as a phone sex operator, Shane is still a hockey player. They have toe-curling, dirty phone sex and end up falling in love along the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    131,243
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    1,225
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    5,573
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    132,018

    19 Jun 2026