Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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They fail at spicing up their sex life. But they still are having fun.
Series
- Part 1 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Bilbo married his best friend, Viola Whitfoot, and even if there were sad events in their life, it was most joyous time of his life. Until he found himself at his wife's deathbed, and later, in company of dwarves who do not respect him not even a little bit.
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- Part 2 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Loneliness, sneers and not a single friendly face. This certainly wasn't what he thought his life would be like, when he left Shire.
Series
- Part 3 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Sometime in the weeks after the start of their journey Bilbo started to lose ability to feel. And then he stopped being able to cry, his heart locked from the suffering, leaving the dwarves at loss what to do.
Written for prompt over at hobbit kink meme.
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- Part 4 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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A story how Azog definitely shouldn't even leave his bed one day.
Series
- Part 5 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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It took but a moment. One second, Bilbo is hanging from Thorin’s grasp, Thorin’s sneers being thrown in his face as he – in futile attempts to free himself – grips his hands, and the very next moment Bilbo is falling.
Series
- Part 6 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Written for a prompt:
So at the beginning of the Third Age, the hobbits begin to migrate. The reasons for this happening are unknown, but suspected that this was due to the rising evil in Mirkwood. We're going to say it was DEFINITELY because of shit going down in Mirkwood. The first place the hobbits thought to turn to was Erebor. They were turned away for being too soft and having no places amongst dwarves. (They were also turned away from other settlements, resulting in them being distrusting of the other races.) Thus their Wandering Days continued until they came across the Shire. A looooooong time later, Smaug attacks Erebor. No help comes from the Elves, and the Dwarves become a wandering race. They hear of a prosperous land full of kind, soft people and decide to head towards that. Thorin, as the leader of a lost people, decides to have a meeting with the Thaine and whoever else important enough in the Shire to talk about settling near Hobbiton or Tookborough since their home was taken by Smaug.
And truly, do these tables turn...
Chapter Six taken down for some changes, will be back soon (hopefully).
Series
- Part 7 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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This certainly wasn’t how Fili wanted to wake up after the first night he got to spend with Bella, after all those months of pining, wasted chances and too close brushes with death, many of those happening because of his uncle Thorin.
He loved his uncle, but Mahal’s Forge, could that man keep his voice down for at least five seconds?Series
- Part 8 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Kili knew that most of their companions thought him a royal idiot (pun completely intended); heck, his own uncle probably thought him idiot most of the time, but in fact, Kili was fairly smart, even if he said so himself.
Like… he knew that Bella, no matter how she tried to learn more about dwarves, still couldn’t know absolutely everything about them.
Series
- Part 9 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Pleasure to meet you! by Neferit
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, Dragon Age - All Media Types
09 Jun 2014
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Bilbo never knew how it happened, but personally, he blamed Gandalf.
A story of two unlikely groups, who have a dragon at the end of their journey, and who meet across the universe, only to go on their separate ways soon after to never meet again.
Series
- Part 10 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Ori knew that his only task is to get married to the person they picked for him, as he was the only one available - with the much needed drop of royal blood while not beeing close enough to the monarchs to be considered one of them. But this... this was unexpected. He was marrying a woman.
Will be posted in form of snippets of various lenght.
Series
- Part 11 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Bella and Ori were cute, are cute and always will be cute. That was what company always thought and what the company most certainly didn’t see any reason to change their opinion about. The two are just adorable with their knitting, braiding each other’s hair, trading shy kisses, feeding each other pieces of food and blushing at gazing at the other one, especially when their eyes meet.
Yet, Company certainly doesn’t know everything, and neither Bella, nor Ori have the intention of ever educating them on the subject.
Series
- Part 12 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Kíli was used to being mocked for his not-all-that-dwarvish interests.
Keeping his beard short, having a bow of all possible things as his main weapon, mostly not bothering with braiding his hair, liking it outside more than liking it under the ground, surrounded by stone... He was unsure what was more damning in the eyes of the more conservative dwarves.
Was it any surprise that he really didn't want to find himself saddled with one of them in an arranged marriage?
Series
- Part 13 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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If he should be sincere, Bilbo would have said he felt very sorry about himself.
Like, it was nice to finally be accepted to the Company by Thorin, but while everyone seemed not to hold him at such distance as before, he still was mostly just laughing-stock for them.
At least it felt like that to him.
Series
- Part 14 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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She was the one who asked him out for a walk, and together, when time was right, they hopped to more. But sweet Yavanna, was the girl making him flustered.
Series
- Part 15 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
- Part 1 of Flustered
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Pretty boy. Beauty among the dwarves. The dark-haired, pretty one. Such a beautiful young man. How Kíli hated when he was called these. He hated it, because dwarven prince is not supposed to be beautiful or pretty; dwarven prince is supposed to be resourceful and skilled in battle, they told him ever since he was a small dwarfling. And yet everyone insisted on calling him these.
Not anymore, though. Not ever since the infamous Battle of the Five Armies, as they called it now, happened.
Series
- Part 16 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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For decades, Bilbo had thought only a few people his family - mostly his Took cousins, and only handful of his Baggins relatives, since they tended to look at him funny, given his parentage. But those thirteen dwarves wormed their way into his heart during the months of the journey to Erebor with what their characters showed - they could be fussy about particular things or people, they felt their emotions deeply and fiercely, they took offense at nothing and everything, they cared about something and didn't give a damn about other things.
And still they shattered his heart on that fateful day, leaving only broken pieces in his chest, as he hung from Thorin's grasp, and nobody did anything to save him; they just stood there, watching their King attempting to strangle him as he struggled for breath, until Gandalf's voice thundered over the ruckus and made Thorin release him.
Series
- Part 17 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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If there was a sentence, string of words, that Kili hated with passion, it was the sentence: "What will become of the boy?", muttered by his mother, by his uncle, by his father, by his teachers, by his own brother.
What will become of the boy?
Series
- Part 18 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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It seemed so harmless at the beginning – get to know the future Consort, make sure that he will not become one, for there are others far more suitable than some hobbit from Shire. Or maybe it wasn’t that any hobbit of the Shire would be unsuitable. But this particular hobbit was far from suitable, the more Fili and Kili heard of him. This… Bilbo Baggins.
Important Note: Original chapter 5 had been taken down. It will eventually appear somewhere in the fic where it will fit better, but for the time being, it has been removed.
Read what I gathered from the readers' survey for this story on my wordpress blog! Find out more what is planned for the story here!
Series
- Part 19 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
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Bilbo really didn't plan on ever going on adventure, really! Still, his wife sees right through him, and sort of kicks him after the dwarves. Slowly, he finds friends among them, and never stops missing the wife he doesn't speak about, because none of his companions ever asks about her.
Series
- Part 20 of Unexpected Journeys to Hobbit Kink Meme
- Part 2 of Flustered