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The blood filled his lungs. He tried to scream but he couldn't. His body throbbed with pain.
Help....
I just want to live...
Grace woke up early on a Saturday morning. The stars were still out. He was just making breakfast, listening to Yellow Submarine by the Beatles, when he hears a loud bang. His hand froze and he immediately knows what happened. Simon has told him months ago about how he tends to forget things. Grace knew this day was coming. Just not this soon.
He turns off the fire and sets down the spatula before running to their bedroom. He opens the door and almost immediately gets hit with a book to the face. His glasses fall to the floor with a small thud.
"WHO ARE YOU! WHERE AM I!" Simon's voice echoed through the room as blood started falling from Grace's nose. Grace's hand slipped from the door and went to his nose. He tried to not panic. He hated the feeling of blood...
"Simon! I'm not gonna hurt you! Your safe! Your on Erid!"
"LIAR! YOUR WITH THEM!" Grace's heart broke. He knew that Simon has a rough past but seeing him scared like this, seeing him scared of him. It hurt.
"Simon. I'm not with the C.O.I. I'm Ryland Grace-" He held up his hand with the wedding ring and he didn't seem to need to say more. Simon looked at the ring and the fear in his eyes vanished.
"Ryland...i know you..." He began to look around at the room. "I know this room. But why?"
"We got married a year ago, April 18th. We have been living together for a year and a half (not counting the 2 years on the Hail Mary) and we spent our honeymoon star gazing." The blood was seeping through his fingers, then was a particularly bad case of bloody nose. Gosh darn it hurt. The blood started to sleep into his mouth as well. It made him want to throw up. The metallic taste running down his throat always made him gag.
"The stars. But the stars are gone? Unless you-"
"Look out the window..." Grace reached for the tissue box while Simon turned and opened the curtains. He froze. Blood was running down Grace's neck now. He silently cursed himself for always bleeding easy. It made him seem fragile. Thank God he was wearing his black shirt that said "Ah! The element of surprise.".
"Shit..." Grace looked up to see that Simon was looking at him now. He probably remembered where we was and what was happening. "Ryland. Oh fuck. I'm so sorry-"
"It's perfectly fine! It's just a nose bleed!" Grace quickly cut him off. Simon rushed over. He didn't like- he hated that Grace would always down play what was happening to him.
Simon helped Grace to the bathroom and took his shirt off. He didn't has time to dwell on how hot he looked like that. He grabbed a clean cloth and wet it with cold water. He handed it to Grace and positioned the man so he was leaning forward. Grace used the cloth to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"This isn't fine Grace. I could've seriously hurt you."
"It was an accident-"
"Stop fucking saying that! I could've broken one of your ribs or fractured your fucking jaw!" He could feel the tears burning at the corners of his eyes as he wet another cloth with warm water and began to wipe the blood off the blonde. "You can't just go into the room unprepared when I have an episode....shit...I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Angel..." He couldn't hold it in anymore. He paused what he was doing, kneeled before his Angel and basically cried into his lap.
"Hey hey! It's okay! I'm fine and I know I need to be more prepared for the future! It's not your fault." He ran his free hand through Simon's hair. "You were scared and confused. I can't blame you for wanting to protect yourself." Simon knew that no amount of him trying to tell his Angel that he was a bad person, could ever get Grace to think less of him.
Simon eventually calmed down enough to get up. He re-wet the, now cold, towel with warm water and finished cleaning the blood off. Grace still felt like throwing up after the blood taste. He probably was to be honest. Developing a weak stomach after almost starving to death on the hail Mary. He pushed Simon away and lifted the toilet lid
"What are you-" Simon couldn't get a full sentence in before Grace started throwing up in the toilet. Simon acted immediately. He kneeled down besides Grace and rubbed his back. Guilt settling in a knot in his stomach. "Oh...fuck. Angel..." Grace stopped throwing up after a minute or...three.
"It's fine. Just the taste of blood and my weak stomach." Grace went on and on about how it wasn't Simons fault. Which made him feel a bit better but he still felt awful about doing this to his husband. "Wait! The pancakes!" Grace rushed up and rushed into the kitchen, running into a wall on the way there. Simon couldn't help but chuckle. God his husband was a dork but he wouldn't have it any other ways.
The grass tickled his face. It would've felt nice except there were hands all over him, pushing him down into the grass. He cried out for help. That they were murdering him. But his pleas fell on deaf ears.
"Please! Don't do it! No! Your murdering me! Your murdering me! Carl please! Stratt!" He tried...the needle pricked his neck and he could feel his body going limp. Still he let out one last cry. "I don't wanna die!"
Simon was looking out the window at the stars. Grace had fallen asleep hours ago but he couldn't. Not when he knew he hurt him, even if it was little, even if it was an accident. He couldn't let it go. He started spiraling.
What if he hates me.
What if he is planning to get rid of me.
What if
What if
What if
But he was pulled out of this thoughts by a small whimper.
"What the-?" He looked over at Grace, who was tossing and turning. Simon knew something was wrong. A nightmare. Knowing Grace? Probably someone getting a science fact wrong.
"Your murdering me..." He whimpered. Oh shit. This wasn't something like that, it was serious. Really serious. "Carl..."
Who the fuck is Carl! Simon basically ran over to Grace's side on the bed.
"Ryland. Ryland!"
"Stratt...I don't wanna die!"
"Ryland!"
And Grace jolted awake. But instead of cuddling into Simon like he usually would have, he got out of bed and stared at Simon in fear.
"Ryland? What's wrong?"
"Who are you! Where am I! Who am I!?" His questions getting for frantic by the second. Grace's eyes were filled with fear. His body shaking and his voice trembling.
Oh...oh
So, Ryland has memory issues. But....why? And how could they get this bad. Simon didn't have time to dwell on the thought, Grace was running out the door.
"Fuck!"
Simon ran out the door as well, his heart pounding against his chest. Why did he look at him that way? Did he finally realize what Simon really was?
Grace ran like his life depended on it. He didn't know where he was, who's house this was, who he was. All he knew is that he just didn't want to die. He couldn't, not yet... Not when he had the rest of his life to live.
Simon didn't have time to put on shoes. Grace was already bolting down the beach. Luckily, Simon was faster. He always was. He started to catch up to Grace and started to hear bits and pieces of what he was saying.
"I don't want to die! Please don't do it!" Okay, something was seriously wrong. He caught Grace and Grace started fighting. Kicking, punching, screaming. He thanked God that Rocky made them make the dome sound proof.
"Your murdering me! Please! Don't send me! I'll do anything else Stratt! Just don't make me go!"
"Ryland! I'm not gonna fucking hurt you! You not going anywhere! I'm not sending you anywhere! Your staying here!" Simon wasn't the best at calming or comforting people, though he would be better if Grace wasn't fighting his every move. His mind was racing. Who was Stratt? Who was Carl? And why was Ryland begging to not go? Go where?
What. Did. They. Do.
What the fuck did these people do to Ryland- his Angel that made him so scared like this.
Grace seemed to stop fighting and calm down, he was still terrified though. Simon, even though he hated the open water, knew he had to help Grace calm down anyway. He pulled Grace into his lap and held his head against his chest. Simon let Grace's feet and legs dip into the water, even if he didn't touch it himself.
"Who are you..."Grace's voice was small and still scared. "I feel like I should know you... Who am I?"
"Your Ryland Grace, I'm your husband. Simon Grace." The words felt foreign to Simon.
"Oh...are you gonna let Stratt send me?" His voice was quiet and tired. He was still exhausted
Where!? "No, not at all Angel. I won't let her touch you again." But Grace was already basically asleep. Simon picked him up with ease and started carrying him home. He still has hundreds of questions running though his head. But none of that mattered right now. He just needed to get his husband and himself back to bed. He's ask in the morning
Except he didn't sleep. He stayed up, watching Grace. Sure, it could be creepy, but to him, he just wanted his husband to be okay.
Grace woke with a start, memories of the night before fuzzily returning. He sat up with a groan and rubbed his face.
"You've got some explaining to do." Simon's voice was deep and think from lack of sleep. But he was gentle. He sat beside Grace and carefully and slowly pulled him into his lap.
What if he played dumb? "About what?"
"About last night. I don't know if you remember but you woke up in the middle of the night, ran outside and when I caught you, you were begging me not to kill you! Who's Stratt? And Carl." His voice filled with venom on Carl's name specifically. Grace sighed internally. He's not getting out of this one.
"Well... I guess I owe you an explanation. So. Where do you want to start?"
"Who's Carl."
"He was one of my... friends...when I was working for the Petrova Task force back on Earth. Well, he wasn't really my friend."
"Who's Stratt, and why were you begging her not to kill you."
"She was basically my boss. She wanted me to help find things out with the astrophage. And...why i was begging her not to kill me..?" He could feel tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Gosh he hated remembering this but he had to, he owed Simon an explanation. "I didn't want to go on the hail Mary. But...there was an explosion. All the scientists were killed and I was the only one who was qualified to go on such a short notice. I-i didn't want to go." Tears started streaming down his face. "She made me. They pushed me onto the ground and drugged me to get me onto the ship. And then gave me anesthesia so I wouldn't sabotage the mission...But I-i shouldn't be crying over t-this... I mean you went through so much more and suffered more. And...." He paused to breathe but he didn't get the change to speak again because Simon pressed him against his chest.
Simon was pissed. He hated Stratt. Ryland didn't deserve this. He deserved to be safe, to be loved, not held down and drugged like and animal. And-
"I'm a coward..."
That made Simon freeze. There is no way that Ryland Grace, the man who is constantly fighting Simon on his self worth, is actively calling himself a Coward.
"Your wrong. You just wanted to live. You shouldn't have to apologize for having basic human instincts. And just because what I went through seems like so much more doesn't mean that your suffering matters any less." Grace began to sob into his chest. Wetting Simon's shirt with his tears but he didn't care. He needed his husband to know that no matter what he thought of himself, Simon would always love him. Protect him.
If they ever went back to earth and Stratt was alive, Simon would never let the woman near his Angel ever again.
Ever...