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Now, Sirius knew he wasn't stupid. He was certain some would disagree with him on this point - his mother, for one, and McGonagall was sure to have her doubts some days as well. The problem was just that often, when he had an idea, it would get stuck in his head and it wouldn't go away until he executed it.
That had also been the case when he’d decided they needed to dye every single Slytherin’s hair red for the day in celebration of Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup in their first year. O f course he'd known it couldn't possibly work, but it had been too good an idea not to at least try. When he'd said those words to Madam Pomfrey later that day, she'd needed five minutes to compose herself before she could finish cancelling all the various hexes and curses on Sirius and James.
Sirius wasn’t stupid, so he knew this was a bad idea. The problem was that the quiet Ravenclaw from Charms class (Grant? Greg? Garibaldi? Something like that) had come back from summer holidays with a tattoo and now Sirius desperately needed tattoos because he would not be out-cooled by a Ravenclaw.
He’d already decided what he wanted; much as the idea of putting some Muggle woman in a bikini permanently on his skin amused him, he wanted it to be meaningful. What was more meaningful than his friends? And what better symbol of their friendship than their animal footprints, a sign that even one of the most difficult parts of magic could be achieved in order to be there for each other no matter the obstacle?
Sirius had also found out how to create magical tattoos (he thought he might actually have to go to the library to research this but then he'd asked Moony who'd immediately told him all about it because he was a swot and had already researched this topic once before) and he knew what he wanted. All he had to was to get a werewolf to somehow let its paw get inked up and then put it on a piece of parchment without ripping it to shreds. And really, this was not a problem. A minor issue at most, but nothing he couldn't deal with. And besides, the next full moon was two weeks away still; he had loads of time to figure out the best way to go about doing this.
Then, it was just a matter of getting the designs on some parchment so he could then spell that design to permanently show on his skin. Remus had said something about needles in the Muggle world, but Sirius didn’t know where those were supposed to come in. Who knew Muggles were such masochists…
Now that the planning portion of this project was done, Sirius was eager to begin. Out of the footprints he needed to collect, his own was of course the easiest. He put a bowl of ink and a piece of parchment on the floor of his dorm, then transformed into Padfoot and placed a few paw prints on the parchment. He wanted to give himself options. Once he was satisfied, he transfigured back, evanesco-ed the ink off his hand and proudly surveyed his work. This was going to be child's play. He put the finished product in his potions book where it was sure to be safe because he hadn't opened one of those since second year.
Next was Peter.
"Hey Pete, can you do me a favour?"
Peter looked at him suspiciously, his body frozen mid-motion while putting on a sock.
"What do you want?"
"I need your footprint in ink."
“Of my foot?”
“Of your rat’s paw.”
Peter paused, thinking about how this could possibly embarrass him.
Then, "Yeah, okay."
That parchment, too, found a safe home in Sirius’ textbook.
"Why would I give you my hoof?"
"I don't want your hoof, idiot. I want a hoof print."
"But why? So you can tie me to one of your crimes? I don't want to go to prison for you!"
Sirius rolled his eyes. He didn't know why people called him dramatic when James Potter existed. He made Sirius look positively boring when he was in one of his moods (which usually coincided with just after he'd had a cup of coffee).
"You're not going to prison. Can you please just transform so I can get your damn foot in ink?"
"Hmm... Fine, but I don't trust you, Black. If I go to prison for this, you're not getting my room at home."
"Sure, whatever."
“Or my comic book collection.”
“Understood.”
They did the same procedure, but in the evening, in the Forbidden Forest under wand light. They'd learned not to let James transform in the dorms the hard way. Sirius was a little bit proud of himself for having the foresight not to make that same mistake again. He got his hoof print and put it in his potions book with the others. This was actually going better than expected.
On the evening of the full moon, Sirius was starting to have some small doubts. Okay, he realised that actually, he had been a bit of an idiot about this and wasn’t sure anymore he was actually going to be able to do this. Any scenario he imagined in his head, he failed. And if he didn’t succeed in getting all four of their prints, that was the end of the project; there was no point in just having three of them.
“You’re awfully quiet today,” Remus said without looking up from the book he was reading. They were in the common room, waiting for it to get late enough for them to go to the Shrieking Shack, first Remus (accompanied by Madam Pomfrey), and then once the moon had risen, the others would follow. James and Peter were playing chess, Remus was reading, and Sirius was staring into space.
“Me?” Sirius asked. “Did you expect me to talk about something specific?”
“Nothing specific, but usually you do talk about something.”
“Well, thanks for making me sound like some obnoxious, annoying prat,” Sirius grumbled, although of course he didn’t mean it. His friends knew perfectly well what he was like and he knew they loved him exactly as he was. James made sure to tell him that at least once a week, the dork.
“Truly the worst.” Remus just grinned at him, then grimaced for a second and scratched at his forearm.
“You feeling okay?” Sirius asked.
These last few hours were always uncomfortable, and of course for Remus most of all. For the others, it was just a matter of waiting and then sneaking out without being seen. Remus, even after so many years, still got nervous about the transformation, and that was only worsened by the way his body felt in the days leading up to the transformation. He felt increasingly like he was not at home in his own skin, like he wanted to crawl out of it, cut his skin open to escape this prison, as he’d once confided in Sirius in the depths of the night. It sounded like a nightmare to Sirius, but for Remus, this was his reality every single month.
Sirius knew this and also knew there was nothing any of them could do.
“Yeah, I just need some distraction.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“How about you tell me what exactly you’re up to?”
Sirius hesitated. What exactly had Moony noticed? “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”
“You’re always quiet something when you’re planning something.”
“I’m just bored,” Sirius said.
Remus fake-gasped. “Now I’m really scared. Out of your mouth, that can only mean trouble.”
Sirius took that as a compliment, and the look that must have shown on his face made Remus laugh. His laughter was a rare sound so close to the full moon.
“Look at you, all proud of yourself. So, your plan?” Remus asked.
“No plan,” Sirius said. That, at least, was the truth for tonight.
“Fine, don’t tell me. I assume I’ll find out eventually. You’ve never managed to keep a secret for very long.”
Sirius frowned. “That’s not true, I keep plenty of secrets. Just not from -” He broke off and felt his face going red.
“Right,” Remus said and pretended to go back to reading his book, looking embarrassed.
They didn’t speak any more before it was time for Remus to leave and go to the hospital wing. Sirius completely gave up any hope of coming up for a plan for that night.
Admittedly, that night, Sirius only tried half-heartedly to follow through with his idea. He knew it wasn't going to work without a proper plan. Even he could admit that a werewolf wasn't to be trifled with and putting a pot made of breakable glass in front of a rowdy werewolf and expecting it to calmly put its paws in it and then onto a sheet of parchment wasn't going to happen. By the end of that night, Sirius had a few scratches, sore legs and arms from running all night, a head of hair full of twigs and leaves, and an empty piece of parchment.
One of Sirius’ worries was that Remus would find out about his idea and make him swear not to go through with it. He wouldn’t be able to stop Sirius, but this wasn’t worth risking their friendship over, and Sirius knew that Remus would not be happy if he found out about his. Fortunately for Sirius, James and Peter seemed to both have silently accepted the paw print incident as a weird dream and didn't discuss it amongst each other, which in turn meant that Remus was none the wiser.
Sirius spent the next month in a frenzy of planning, experimenting, adapting. Not for the next full moon - that, he forgot about by lunchtime the next day. Valentine's Day was coming up, which of course had to be celebrated in the Marauders' Way. Then fucking McNair spilled some of his potion on Peter during class, which they could not let go unanswered. And of course both Prongs and Moony's birthdays were coming up, which were also sure to go down in Hogwarts history, if Sirius had anything to say about it.
So then there Sirius was on the eve of another full moon with no idea what to do, regretting not having put just a little more thought into this. He didn’t want it to be another total loss, like last month, so Sirius enlarged a piece of parchment to the size of a bedsheet and went down to the kitchen to steal a plate to put the ink in (“Yes, sir, Sirius Black can have all the plates he needs. And take the muffins! And some chocolate pudding for Remus Lupin!”). He placed them in the Forbidden Forest ahead of time. See, Moony, he was capable of thinking ahead.
Maybe Sirius didn’t need a big, elaborate plan. Maybe he was overthinking this whole thing. All he needed to do was...
"Ruff! Ruff!" Sirius ran in the direction where he knew he'd placed his supplies, looked back, saw that they weren't following him, barked again. He ran back to physically push them in the correct direction. Moony almost escaped during a moment where Padfoot was again trying to steer them the right way while Prongs was busy almost impaling Padfoot, which Sirius understood as a clearly communicated "What the fuck are you doing? Have you lost your mind?,” but they got him back under control. He gave Prongs a bark that was meant to communicate "I know what I'm doing, just help me get this done!" And, even though it was with a dramatic show of reluctance, Prongs did end up helping.
That night was just a cacophony of noise. Moony was howling, Padfoot was barking as he lay on top of Moony, trying to keep him in place but really only trying not be thrown off, Prongs was using his antlers to help keep Moony in place while simultaneously trying to get that damn paw print, Wormtail squeaking, hanging on to Padfoot's hair with all of his might. Finally, Moony succeeded in throwing Padfoot off and raced off into the trees, the other three hot on his pursuit.
He successfully got Moony to where he'd stowed his tools with a mix of pushing and playing catch. He did succeed in getting the ink on Moony, and really he should be commended for getting it on all four of his paws, which dramatically increased his chances of getting that ink on parchment. Did he actually get a single paw print? No, he did not. Moony’s claws ripped through the sheet of parchment, which the wolf did seem to enjoy, but it wasn't quite what he'd intended.
Eventually, he had to give up and together they got Moony back to the Shrieking Shack, where they collapsed in a pile of breathless mess of fur, ink, and parchment. They'd timed it perfectly where there were only a few minutes left before the transformation set in again.
There was ink everywhere. They thought Peter might have a concussion with how much he was giggling, but they weren't sure. They were also covered in cuts, scratches, and bruises from head to toe.
As soon as Sirius, James and Peter were also able to transform back, James rounded on Sirius, ranting "What the fuck were you doing? Have you lost your mind?"
"I am trying to get his paw print for my tattoo!"
James stared at him.
"You cannot be serious," he said.
Sirius opened his mouth, but James interrupted before he could even draw breath. "Don’t, you know what I mean. You're telling me you are actually trying to get a werewolf to put its paw in ink and then on a piece of parchment calmly enough that you get a clean print? And you expect that to work?"
Sirius shrugged. "Admit it, it’s not the craziest idea we’ve had."
James sighed, considering it. Even before he spoke, Sirius knew he’d won. "Fine, I'll help you. Because otherwise you will get yourself killed, you idiot. And I want it on record that I hate you right now," James said.
"I can't help you with that, that's your moral failing," Sirius said, with sticks of wood and leaves in his hair.
Peter gave an incredulous laugh. "You are both mental," he said.
Sirius tried getting up, groaned as he fell back down, then tried again.
"How are you even moving right now?" James asked.
"I have no clue,” Sirius said, but he sat down next to Moony, who he hoped was sleeping rather than unconscious, and started cleaning parts of his body, cleaning wounds, and healing whatever damage this night had done to him that Mrs Pomfrey wouldn't notice as being strange.
It was a fine line to walk, but over the last year Sirius had found it increasingly difficult to leave the Shack with Moony just lying there and not doing anything to help. It had always hurt a bit to see him like this, uncomfortable and in pain, often scared as the full moon rose, no matter how many times they had done this by now and how much he tried to hide his fear.
So he cleaned his wounds, and if he let his hand linger a little longer than necessary on Moony's arm, well, James was half asleep and he was 99% sure Peter really did have a concussion, which meant no one would trust his testimony even if he did pay attention (which he rarely did).
A groan from James shook him out of the moment.
"You know what I just remembered?" James said. "We have a Potions exam after lunch today."
Sirius imagined all the dicing, slicing, stirring with his sore muscles and swore.
It was finally time to devote some time to planning this thing, so James and Sirius got together and threw around ideas, one more ridiculous than the last. James wanted to use his broom somehow, without really being clear on what good it would do. Sirius thought there must be some spell that would spray ink, and if they could incorporate that into an object that would then continually spray ink. That way, at least the first part of the challenge would be pretty much over and done with, right? James thought it was over the top to suggest something that would make such a mess, but what did he know, he hadn't spent the last two full moons trying to wrangle a werewolf into putting its paw into a small dish.
"Why are you so obsessed with this anyway?" James asked.
"I'm not obsessed. I just think it's a cool idea and I already have the others. I'm almost finished, you know? Wouldn't make sense to give up now."
"You have the easy ones. No one would blame you if you didn't finish getting an actual fucking werewolf to put a perfect little paw print on a piece of parchment for you. What would you even say if people asked how you got it?"
"I'd say it's a wolf, not like anyone would know the difference. Besides, wolves are still cool. Just not quite as cool as being the only person with a werewolf print tattoo."
"So just get a wolf's paw!" James said, a little too loudly. They were unlikely to be overheard at study hall, which was usually one of the loudest places in Hogwarts despite its name, but that was only as long as they didn’t draw attention to themselves.
"No," Sirius said. "I would know."
"And why not just get his handprint? Maybe he doesn't want Moony's paw to be immortalised on your skin where he can always see it."
"You don't know where on my skin I'm going to put it," Sirius said with a smirk, which elicited the groan he'd been hoping for. Then, more seriously, "I want to show that we're all the same. If I used his hand, he'd be the odd one out again. This way, there's just four animals, impossible to tell they're anything else but that."
"Fine," James said. "But you better come up with a good idea of how to do this soon because what we have so far is useless."
James left because he had some headboy thing to attend to, assuming that Sirius would keep working on this project that meant so much to him. Sirius, meanwhile, immediately got distracted when he spotted that blasted Ravenclaw with the tattoo studying at one of the nearby tables. So arrogant, having his tattoo out where anybody could see it, like he wanted the world to admire him...
He left the study hall, not being able to stand the sight of whatever his name was any longer.
"You know, if I didn't know there was actually no chance, I would think you were studying," Remus said from behind Sirius. He was at the library, at the very back of the room, trying not to be seen. But of course there was no hiding from Remus in his holiest of places.
"How dare you insult me thus," Sirius exclaimed, faux outraged.
"What are you actually up to?" Remus asked.
"Nothing." He closed the book, and was about to put it in his bag, but Remus snatched it out of his hand.
"You're reading a book about healing? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just forget it, do you want to go steal something from the kitchen? I'm famished." He got up and made to leave the library.
"No, wait! Please, be honest. Did someone hurt you? Was it Regulus?"
Sirius paused and turned back around. "Why would it be Regulus specifically?"
"If it was anyone else, they would have been found hanging from the Quidditch posts in their underwear by now."
“Maybe they just haven’t been found because I hung them from a tree instead.”
Remus gave him a long look.
“No, Regulus didn't do anything,” Sirius said. “It's not for me, if you have to know."
Remus looked at him quizzically before realisation passed over his face. "Oh, you mean..."
"Yeah."
"Huh," he said, ever the intellectual.
"Yeah."
"I have to..." he pointed over his shoulder.
"Yeah, me too. See you later?"
"Sure, yeah."
Remus left, leaving Sirius behind, not knowing what to do. He put the book in his bag, back on the shelf, in the bag again.
Then he went to find James.
They had a plan this time. It wasn't the most sophisticated, complicated plan perhaps, but it was a plan. They had even prepared; this time it wasn’t only their usual supplies but they also used the time between Remus going to the hospital wing to meet with Madam Pomfrey and the end of the transformation to hide food throughout the Forbidden Forest. Considering it was a forest, they knew the food might not stay there, but they left it there anyway. It was going to be a long night; they would have to stock up on fuel if they wanted to make it all the way through.
The moon rose and soon it was time for them to sneak into the Shack and leave with Moony in tow, as they had so often by this point.
Sirius had brought his supplies again, and he'd even found a spell to make the parchment sturdier. Not quite enough to withstand a genuine werewolf attack because for some reason, no one had thought to invent a spell with that level of intensity yet (for the more enthusiastically artistic wizards among us, it said in the description of the spell), but it was better than nothing. Right? James did not seem convinced.
Then the real fun began. They ran through the forest, from one edge to the other and back again. They made sure never to go too far towards Hogwarts or Hogsmeade, and they'd explored enough of the forest to know that even with a werewolf, there were some spots best left alone. They ran all night through and by the time dawn was about to break, they had difficulty coaxing the wolf those last few steps towards the Whomping Willow and back into the Shack. They were all absolutely spent.
In the Shack, Peter was asleep almost immediately. James lay his big heavy antlered head on the bed in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position. Sirius would have loved to just cuddle up to Remus, who had never looked so peaceful in wolf form as he did right then, but he had a job to finish.
It was ridiculously easy now that Moony was basically asleep. When Padfoot lifted his paw with his own, Moony opened an eye but didn't resist in any way. Sirius thought he might even be able to transform into a human and have Moony not chase after him, although of course he did not try it out. He wasn’t a complete idiot, Remus. He put Moony's paw into ink, then pushed the parchment on the floor in front of them and put several paw prints in various states of messiness on it. Once he was satisfied, he finally allowed himself to flop down right next to Moony. Again, the wolf did not voice any disapproval and perhaps Sirius imagined it, but he thought Moony might have even moved a little closer. Of course, Padfoot was warm and fluffy, he was basically a superior teddy bear. Still... It felt special that even in werewolf form, Remus accepted Sirius to this extent.
Sirius, James and Peter stayed throughout the transformation and only left when Padfoot's ears picked up the sounds of Madam Pomfrey approaching. Sirius accio-ed his precious parchment while James picked up a sleeping Wormtail.
As they left, they heard Madam Pomfrey say, "Where did all this ink come from?"
It took Remus two days to recover from this full moon rather than his usual one . The second day, really he should have been okay to go back to classes again (with some naps in between), but Madam Pomfrey wanted to keep him an extra day to figure out the cause of his extra tiredness and muscle aches. She was afraid it was the first sign of his transformations getting significantly worse. There was little research on how transformations changed over a werewolf's lifetime and she didn’t want to take any chances. It would take another few months for her to just write it off as a one-time fluke. The ink, she didn't even try to explain.
Sirius spent a lot of time in the hospital wing over those two days. He felt bad since there was no doubt that this extended stay was his fault. His own body ached something fierce, but of course he couldn't let on that he had done anything but sleep peacefully in his bed during the full moon. He gave Remus his notes from that day's class, made sure he always had a fresh glass of water at hand, and kept him entertained once he was recovered enough that he wanted to get back to class or at least Gryffindor Tower.
When Madam Pomfrey finally gave her okay for him to leave, Remus took Sirius’ hand and pulled him all the way up to the tower and into their dorm, which was empty this time of day. Peter had been in the common room and greeted them as they walked by, no comment as to their hand holding or how Remus was basically dragging Sirius along. James was nowhere to be seen, but Sirius couldn’t care less about his whereabouts. Remus closed the door behind them, then pushed Sirius onto the bed.
“You’ve been up to something these last few months and I need to know what it is,” Remus said, towering over the bed.
Sirius stared up at him, completely taken by surprise by the whole situation. Remus rarely took control like this, he was much too careful of appearing violent in any way.
“Well?” Remus urged.
“Why do you think I’m up to something?”
“Don’t play coy. Lots of things. So what is it?”
Sirius sighed, then started unbuttoning his shirt. Remus’ eyes widened. "Uh…"
“No, it’s not - It’s hidden underneath this. You can close your eyes if you feel more comfortable that way.”
Nevermind that they’d lived in this dorm together for almost six years now and had seen each other shirtless countless times over the years.
“No, that’s alright.”
Sirius continued taking his shirt off, keenly aware of Remus’ eyes on him. He turned and lifted his arm to show Remus the four footprints on his waist, seemingly walking up towards his chest.
“What is that?” Remus asked, his voice low and dangerous.
“A tattoo.”
“Yes, I can see that, genius. How did you make those?”
“There’s a spell that -” He was stopped by a finger on his skin. It was cold, and he felt its touch reverberate throughout his body.
“That one.” He pointed at his own paw print. “How did you get that?”
“I think you know.”
“I think I know, but the picture forming in my head is so disturbing that I am hoping you will say something to dispute it. Surely, no one would be stupid enough to attempt to get a werewolf, which I will remind you is a category XXXXX beast, to pose for your fucking tattoo!”
“Moony is actually quite cuddly when he’s all tuckered out,” Sirius said with a little grin.
“You moron! Why did you do this in the first place?”
Sirius shrugged. “Because it’s us. The four of us, forever. And because I’m pretty sure I’m the only one alive right now with a werewolf paw as a tattoo, which you gotta admit is pretty punk rock.”
“You’re an idiot, you know that?”
Sirius shrugged, then nodded with a grin.
Remus wrestled with himself for just a moment, then leaned forwards. “I’m going to kiss you now. Is that alright for you?” His hand lay flat on Sirius’ waist, holding the tattoo.
Sirius nodded again, perhaps a little too enthusiastically for the cool demeanor he was going for.
Then he leaned in the rest of the way.