Chapter Text
“I love you.”
The words caressed Demelza’s ears, words she once thought he would never say, but words she now knew he meant from the bottom of his heart. She’d seen it clear enough the night before when she’d sung to him. She smiled, feeling the muscles along her neck and back relax for the first time in what felt like years as she rolled his words around her head and heart. He leaned forward and kissed her. Kissed her so softly it made her throat close with longing. He leaned back, pressing his forehead against hers and she felt him exhale. Relief? Had he been as scared and nervous as she’d been the night before?
He was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him, and it made her feel as if they were equals on this new path they now walked together; and that equality gave her strength.
“Well, I hope you have a little love to spare,” Demelza said softly, her heart pounding in her throat.
She watched as his eyes drifted open to meet hers. His fingers toyed with hers, his thumb rubbing against the ring he’d placed on her hand. He sat back, smiling at her. He’d shared so many smiles with her over the years, over the six months of their married life, and this one was easy, warm. His eyes sparkled, almost bemused.
“For what?” he asked, gently.
“Our child.”
He blinked at her, and she wondered if he even comprehended what she was telling him and she delighted as she saw realization began to dawn. First, in his smile and then in his eyes as she nodded, her own smile broadening, making the muscles in her cheeks ache. Then recognition, pure and true, seemed to streak throughout his body, dazed, elated as he cupped her cheeks in his hands and drew her forward in a kiss.
Their tongues met and tangled as he shifted his hands from her face to her waist, hauling her up off the mattress and into his arms. He stood up, bringing her with him until her feet touched the floor and they were pressed, lips to chest to hips to thigh. He was shuddering against her, low, murmuring sounds emanating from his throat and caressing her ears as his hands travelled the length of her back. Her hands were lost in tangle of his hair, fingers clutching the curve of his skull as his mouth worked against hers. Soon, they gentled, parting to gaze into one another’s eyes.
Ross swallowed, blinked. His eyes were the colour of whisky in firelight. “You’re certain?” he asked, his voice soft, gruff.
Demelza had to blink herself, trying to remember what he was talking about. It came to her a second later and she laughed brightly. “Yes, Ross, I’m very certain.” She felt tears in her eyes, the joy of sharing this news with him so complete. “I’m nearly four months along now.”
He gaped at her, then thrust her away from him, keeping her within arm’s length, his hands on her shoulders. His eyes swept her form and she laughed again. “You won’t be able to see anything with me in this shirt of yours, Ross!” She looked up at him, shy all of a sudden at the smile the eased across his face, the fingers that plucked at the collar of her nightrail. “Ross, come to bed.” She eased away from him and climbed onto the mattress and under the covers. He arched a brow at her and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots.
Moments later, he slid under the covers with her, their knees touching. “All right, my love,” he said softly.
Demelza’s toes curled as this new endearment caressed her hearing for the first time and she flicked a sparkling glance in his direction. She hesitated for a moment before reaching down to pinch the hem of the shirt between her fingertips and drew it up and over her head. She sat very still, the heat from the fire warming one side of her body while the other was warmed by that of her husband.
His eyes touched upon her face before shifting down to her breasts. “Demelza,” he breathed, raising his right hand to gently cup her left breast, full and swollen. His thumb brushed against her nipple, berry red and peaked, and it made her inhale sharply. He stopped, his eyes flicking back up to her face, a look of concern creasing his fine brow. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she said, licking her bottom lip. “They are sensitive, but that was lovely, Ross.”
He smiled and ran his thumb along the nipple once again, his eyes darkening. “I remember you’d said they’d been tender of late.” He brushed the crest with the back of his fingers. “Because of the child?”
She nodded. “They aren’t too bad now, Ross, but there were days I dreaded putting on my stays,” she said, her eyes closing at the gentleness of his caress. She opened her eyes and lay back, drawing him down beside her. He leaned up on his left elbow and hovered over her. She watched as he traced one of the blue veins running under her fair skin with his index finger.
“How could I have been so blind?” he asked himself, lifting his eyes from her breasts to her face.
She arched a brow at him. “Did you often frequent ladies who were with child in your youth, Ross?” she quipped.
His cheeks turned ruddy and he gave her nipple a light pinch. She squeaked, feeling the shock of it race to pool between her legs. “What I meant was I’ve seen you nude, Demelza. I’ve held you in my arms, and made love to you all this time. How did this all escape my observation?”
“You’ve been busy with the mine, dearest,” she said, softly. His eyes gleamed warm under the endearment. “And we haven’t been together as often as we have in the past—”
“—I know, I’ve been preoccupied,” he nodded. He looked at her, a touch of regret hooding his gaze. “Forgive me?”
She nodded, smiling. “Yes, of course, Ross,” she said, drawing him down for a kiss. Soon, he shifted his mouth to trace down the side of her neck, his hand cupping her breast with exquisite care before his lips surrounded the nipple. His tongue brushed and swirled luxuriantly while her fingers slipped through his hair and ran around the curve of his ear. She could feel his length, hard and hot, pressed tight against her hip and she squeezed her legs together in response to the rhythmic pulls his mouth made upon her flesh.
His hand moved down her abdomen and froze. He raised his head to look up into her eyes with incredulity before moving back down towards his hand. Demelza moved her left hand to cover his right and gently drew it down to press against the thickening at her waist. She smiled down at his head, his face turned away from hers, fixated on her naked belly. His hand trembled as it drifted across, from one side to the other in a slow, tremulous caress of her skin and the life they had created contained within.
Oh, how she wished she could see his face at this moment. She raised her right hand to touch the crown of his dark head, her hand so fair against the black strands of his hair.
He seemed to come out of the trance-like state he’d been to turn and look at her, his eyes dark and damp with emotion. “Oh, my love,” he rasped, his voice hoarse. He slid back up the mattress to gather her against him in a gentle embrace. Her arms came around to clasp around his back, pulling him closer, her hands clutching his shoulders. He groaned, kissing her with a passion that she hadn’t encountered from him before. Then it struck her: she hadn’t encountered it before that morning: trembling, filled with the essence of the love he’d acknowledged and celebrated and she met it, head on, with her own. She felt a strangled sigh purr from her throat to mingle with his growl of desire. Her nails scored his shoulders and he hissed a breath before returning his mouth to hers. She lifted her leg to circle around his hip, to draw him closer when he broke their kiss, leaning back, a look of alarm crossing his face.
“What is it?” she asked, her arms reaching for him to draw him back to her.
“I don’t…” he started, frowning.
“‘Don’t’ what, Ross?” she asked again, but this time had a feeling she knew what he was going to say.
“I…we…what I mean is,” he said, uncertainty in every word. “Won’t we hurt the child?”
Yes. She had been right. “No, we won’t, Ross,” she murmured, smiling. She laid her hand against his chest and stroked the thick, soft hair she loved so much. “The baby is fine.”
“How do you know that, Demelza?” he asked, levering himself up and away from her until he was lying on his back, staring up at the canopy above their heads. “My God, if I had known earlier this morning I never would have—”
“—Made love to me at Trenwith?” she finished for him. “I’m that glad you did.” She leaned against him, pressing her body against his side and doing her best not to laugh at the shocked look on his face at her insistence. She crossed her arms across his belly and propped her chin on her wrists. “Ross, I have been with child for the past four months and nothing has happened—”
“—So far,” he interrupted. He turned and looked directly into her eyes. The concern and fear she saw in them curbed her humour over the situation and made her realize she needed to proceed with care. She slid up to lie nestled in the crook of his arm.
“Would it ease your mind to know I’ve asked for a little counsel, Ross?” she said, pressing a kiss to his chest near his nipple.
He squirmed. “Who did you ask?”
“I asked Jinny,” Demelza said softly, pressing more kisses along his chest towards his collarbone.
“Jinny Carter?” he nearly yelped. “Our kitchen maid?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Jinny our kitchen maid,” she said in exasperation. She abandoned her kisses and pulled the sheet up to cover her body. “She is a mother, after all, Ross.”
He blinked. “Yes, of course she is,” he said, sounding flustered. “And she knows we’re to have a child before I do?”
Demelza pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. “I had to tell her about the chicken.”
“Chicken?” he asked? “What’s chicken got to do with any of this?”
Demelza looked up at him and her irritation disappeared. The poor man looked completely flummoxed. She smiled. “The smell of chicken made me violently ill in the beginning.” She cocked her head and looked at him, arching her brow. “Haven’t you noticed we’ve not had chicken at our table in months?” He shook his head. “I had to explain to Jinny why I could not tolerate chicken anywhere near me.”
He blinked again and she giggled. “I’ll be damned,” he said, somewhat dazed.
“While we were on the subject of my condition, I asked her a few questions,” Demelza said. She continued before he could speak. “Specifically about intimacies between a man and his wife.” She gave him a sidelong glance. Ross was speechless. She pressed on, despite her desire to laugh once again. “Jinny said it was perfectly fine for a man and a woman to continue joining together as long as there was no pain and no bleeding. And she did say we would have to think of other ways.”
“Other ways?” Ross managed to croak.
“Other than you lying atop me, but you’ve shown me plenty of other ways,” she said simply.
“Did you say as much to Jinny?” Ross spluttered. Demelza looked upon her horror struck husband and could not suppress the giggle that escaped her. He turned and frowned at her. “How on earth am I to look her in the eye again, what with her knowing all and sundry between us, Demelza?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course I didn’t tell her everything, Ross! You must think me lacking in…in… oh, what is the word?”
“Tact?” he offered.
“Yes, that’s the word.” She crossed her arms and looked at him. Her frustration and anger fled when she realized he looked about as rattled as a well-coshed fish. She uncrossed her arms and turned to face him, laying her hand against his arm. “Ross, can I say something?”
He nodded dumbly a moment before shaking himself and turning to face her. “Yes, of course you can, Demelza.”
She swallowed. “You’ve told me you love me, for the first time ever.” He nodded and touched her hand, slipped his fingers between hers. She looked down at their linked fingers, his long, strong and tanned despite the winter’s grip on the land. Hers slim and fair, yet stronger than they looked. “I suspect you’ve known how I’ve felt about you for some time.” She flicked a glance up into his eyes and was rewarded with the mossy-green gaze she’d loved for so long. “And I’ve done everything I can think of to make you proud to have married me.”
“You’ve had that part of me for a long time, my dear,” he said softly, lifting her hand to his lips. He brushed the inside of her wrist with a kiss and she felt the tip of his tongue creep out to lick at her pulse point. She felt colour rise up from her chest, up her neck and to her cheeks but focused her attention on his eyes.
“Do you honestly think I would place your child – our child – at risk by doing anything that might cause it harm?” she asked.
He was speechless once again for several beats before he lowered her hand into his lap and covered it with his other, warming her with their heat and stirring her with their strength. He shook his head. “Of course you wouldn’t, my love.” He leaned forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss.
She leaned back against the pillows, pulling him towards her, down against the feather mattress. “Please make love to me, Ross,” she murmured, slipping her arms around his neck and drawing him next to her. “I would know your hands on my skin and your body in mine after the words we’ve spoken tonight.” She shivered as he pressed his lips against hers, his arms sliding around her to lie next to him, face to face, as they explored one another’s mouths, necks and shoulders with their own. Their breathing deepened, and a moan rose up from her chest and vibrated the air around them. She marvelled at the speed at which they could go from talking to quaking with need; sometimes only mere seconds seemed to pass. His hands slid down to grip her buttocks, lifting her against him and the heat of his length pressed hard against her mound. His hands squeezed and released in time with the movement of his hips against hers while his tongue darted hot and insistent between her lips to stroke hers.
Her hands pressed against his shoulder blades, holding him close, tight against her chest. One of his hands shifted to touch her and she knew he would find her wet, ready for him. He lifted his lips from hers, sliding them along the column of her throat. “I love you so, Demelza,” he whispered against her skin near her ear and her voice caught in her throat.
“I-I love you, Ross.” She sighed the words she’d longed to say to him since the day they married. He kissed her, swallowing the happy tears that fell down her cheeks as she shifted her leg up and over his hip and he found his way into her body. She shivered as he filled her, lying side by side, entwined together.
He broke their kiss, his thumb sweeping over her cheek, wiping away her tears. “Are you all right, love?” he asked, holding himself very still within her.
She nodded. “I’ve wanted to tell you I love you for so long, Ross.” She felt another tear slip from the corner of her eye. He brushed it away and, smiling, flexed his hips against hers and made her sigh the words once more.
They began moving as one, rocking together almost lazily while their hands and their arms found homes at waist, breast, buttock and thigh. They brought their mouths together once again, simulating the motion from below with their tongues. Soon the pace changed, became more urgent. Their kiss was abandoned; cheeks pressed against one another, breath panting in each other’s ears. He captured her lobe between his teeth and gave it a nip. She responded by thrusting hard against his hips and making him grunt in urgent surprise. She leaned back slightly, to look at him, to watch his face as his need for her grew. He stared into her eyes, near black with desire, his nostrils flared as he pulled breath after fevered breath into and out of his body. The skin of his back had grown slick with sweat and her hand slid further down until it reached the crest of his buttocks. His hips flexed heavily under her palm and she dug her nails into the taut then smooth flesh. His eyelids slipped down to partially cover his eyes. His full lips parted, and gasps slipped out from between them, more laboured with each thrust of his body within hers. His own hand gripped her thigh, pulling her hard against him as she felt a shudder course through his entire frame.
“Love… you!” he cried out as he came. Her own breath stopped, once again, in her throat as she joined him. Her womb hardened within her as the first wave of pleasure sent sensation rocketing through her body. It had been this way for her for the last few weeks and had intensified her release. As her body quieted, she opened her eyes to find Ross gazing at her in amazement and she wondered if he’d felt it, too.
They lay, entwined together for some time. Eventually, Demelza shifted her leg from around his hip, breaking their connection, to lie wrapped in his embrace until their breathing returned to normal. They soon shifted again until she lay nestled against his body, her head resting on his left shoulder. His left hand traced designs between her shoulder blades while his right clasped her left to his chest. She sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.