Chapter Text
Demelza breathed in the clean, salty air and wiggled her toes in the light surf. It was her first trip down to the beach since Julia was born and she was happy to share it with her. It was two weeks since the baby’s christening and her strength and energy improved with each passing day. She felt she’d finally found her rhythm in her new role as mother.
And was well on her way to recovering her rhythm as wife.
The last two weeks were a mixture of rediscovery and mounting frustration for both Ross and her. Only the night before they had to bring their intimacies to a swift halt. She frowned as she remembered the fear that had swept through her the moment Ross slipped his finger inside her. No, she thought to herself, fear was the wrong word, because she knew she had nothing to fear from her husband. It was panic, pure and simple. The remembered pain of labour and, more specifically, whether her inner body had been irrevocably changed, changed enough to be a disappointment to the man she loved beyond anything.
Demelza knew this was something she had to come to terms with, something that she might not be able to do on her own, but instead would need to share with that man.
She looked at the baby in her sling and tickled her cheek, and softly laughed as Julia rooted against her questing hand, cooing and felt the tingling begin. She quickly unbuttoned her blouse and nestled her daughter to her breast, sighing at the tugging strength of the baby’s mouth. Demelza adjusted the sling to shield her exposed skin and turned to walk back to Nampara. She had some thinking to do.
They’d established a routine, for the nights when Julia was sleepy and cooperative. Ross would care for the baby while Demelza took a bath. One final feeding and they would put her to bed and see what might happen between them. That night was no different from any other, except for the anxiety nibbling along the edges of Demelza’s mind. She picked up her brush and ran it through her hair, watching him walk around the room preparing for bed. She struggled to find the words to start, then decided it would be best to be honest. “Ross?”
“Yes, my dear?” He glanced up from the buttons of his waistcoat. Something in her expression must have given her away because the humour that had remained in his eyes from his time with the baby was swept away, replaced by worry. He walked over and sat next to her. “What is it, Demelza?”
She looked up at him. “About last night.” He closed his eyes and she reached out to touch his arm. “I’m not going to apologize again, I promise,” she said with a small smile. “But I want to explain why I think it happened.”
“You have nothing to explain, Demelza,” he countered, covering her hand with his.
She nodded. “I do. Come to bed,” she murmured. The corner of his mouth twitched and his fingers reached for his waistcoat once again.
Minutes later, she slid under the bedclothes and into the shelter of his arms, rubbing her cheek against his chest and breathing in the scent of him. She swallowed and forged ahead before the caress of his hands on her skin made her forget her intentions. “Do you remember the first time we were here, in your bed?”
He paused in his caresses and looked at her. “Yes, of course I do, my love,” he said, confusion etched into each line of his face.
“We’ve been together many times since then, haven’t we?” she stated.
“We have, and it’s been a wonder to me, each time.” He leaned up onto one elbow and looked down into her eyes. “Demelza, whatever is the matter?”
“I panicked last night, Ross,” she burst out, rising up to sit against the pillows.
“Panicked about what?” he said, worry entering his voice. He mimicked her position and slipped an arm around her shoulders. “I told you we would go at your pace, my love.”
She nodded. “I know you did, and I love you for it Ross,” she whispered. She turned to face him and stroked his arm. “I panicked because I am afraid I’m changed. Beyond what has changed with my shape.” She raised her eyes to his and clasped his hand. “Changed on the inside, I mean.”
His fingers tightened around hers. “Inside?” he asked. His cheeks reddened. “You mean your—”
“—Yes, Ross,” she interrupted, feeling the tears slip down her cheeks. “After my labour, after the tear, how could I not be changed inside? Is there a scar you will be able to see?”
Ross shook his head. “I’ve seen you, a number of times now that we’ve been exploring,” he murmured, “I don’t have my eyes closed when I taste you, dear one.”
Her cheeks burned with remembrance and she felt a small glimmer of hope flutter into her heart. “But,” she paused, swallowing hard, “what if I have been loosened, so that it won’t be the same for you to be inside me?” Ross shifted, brushed this thumbs along her cheeks before framing her face in his hands for his kiss. His lips against hers were a balm to her heart and she leaned into him.
His hands slipped to her waist, pulling her against him as his lips left hers to taste the skin of her neck. “Demelza,” he murmured as he gathered her close and quaked against her. She slipped her arms around him, her hands caressing the muscles of his back. “Will you trust me enough for us to try again?”
She trembled, but nodded. “I want, no I need to know,” she whispered against his shoulder before peering up at him. He pressed a kiss against her temple and slid down under the bedclothes, drawing her down with him. She lay across his chest, her hair falling around them to create a blazing copper curtain about their heads, lost in the heaven of his kiss. His hands massaged her lower back and buttocks, drawing her closer until her leg lay between his. She circled her hips, grinding her woman’s flesh against his thigh. He groaned into her mouth, his hips flexing against hers and she shivered as his length thrust against her. The urge to shift over his body to take him inside her was almost impossible to resist except for the lingering kernel of fear that stopped her.
She mewled against his lips, and Ross broke their kiss, his hands brushing her hair back from her face. “I know,” he gasped, “I know, my love. Soon.” He shifted her from atop him to his side, turning to face her. “Let me love you, trust me.” He kissed her again, lips, cheeks and jaw before his mouth tasted her neck. He lavished her with his body, hands, mouth, teeth and lips, bringing her near climax time and time again until she was frantic.
He raised his head from between her thighs and looked up the length of her body. “Relax, love,” he whispered.
She nodded her head, shuddering with need and trepidation. He kissed the inside of her thigh and slipped his hand between her legs. The tip of his finger swirled around her bud before slipping in between the folds of her sex. She tensed as he approached her quim and forced herself to exhale as his fingertip slipped inside her. Her nails bit into Ross’s shoulders as she moved against his stroking finger.
“Demelza, you feel so good, so wet,” he moaned against her mound. His tongue returned to caress her bud while his finger slipped further within her.
“Deeper,” she rasped, “please, Ross.” He slowly moved his hand forward. Despite a few brief twinges, the friction of his longest finger inside her was exquisite. She thrust against his questing finger as he stroked her, reaching deep. His tongue curled around her bud and her body clenched around his finger as she came, the waves of her climax robbing her of her breath and shaking her from head to toe.
Minutes passed. She could hear the harsh rasp of Ross’s breathing against her stomach and opened her eyes. He lay shuddering, one arm around her hips, the other moving frantically, his hand wrapped around his cock. She rose, shifting from under his embrace to press him back against the mattress. “Let me,” she breathed, moving between his legs and taking him in her mouth. He moaned, hips flexing involuntarily as his fingers threaded through her hair. He tasted of salt, sweat and Ross. His pulse beat ferociously against her tongue, as she loved him. His fingers tightened and he came, gasping her name. Her nails sank into his hips as she swallowed his semen, shivering with the knowledge of how she’d pleased him.
She kissed him on his lower belly, smiling as the flesh beneath her lips trembled before shifting back up the mattress to rest her head on his shoulder. She purred as he wrapped her in his arms. “Dear Ross,” she sighed.
“Demelza,” he whispered against her hair. She rose up onto one elbow to look up at him, grinning at the sleepy, sated look in his eyes. “Are you all right, love?”
She arched her back as his hand slipped along her spine. “Oh yes,” she murmured, relaxing against his shoulder once more.
“Was there any pain?” he asked, his voice more alert than before.
She looked up to find the concern she’d seen so often in his eyes over the last several months. “There was some.”. She paused, feeling heat rise in her cheeks, and smiled up at him. “Clearly not enough for me to ask you to stop.” He chuckled, stroked her cheek and drew his fingertips back up her spine, making her shiver. “It felt almost like our first time together. A stretching feeling.” She swallowed then asked the question foremost on her mind. “Did you find me changed, Ross?”
His hand stopped and he shifted back to look at her. “No, my dear, not at all,” he murmured. “You felt as you did when we first came together, and since.” She sank against him, kissing his chest before making her way up to capture his mouth with hers. He rolled with her, until she lay on her back, tasting one another for what felt like hours.
Julia stirred and whimpered, bringing their embrace to a halt. Demelza looked up at Ross and smiled. “It couldn’t last forever, my lover.”
He nodded. “Bring her to bed with us, Demelza. I want to spend time with my girls.”
Two weeks later, the fifteenth of July dawned hot and humid and made little Julia cranky. I can’t blame her, Demelza thought to herself. She plucked the edge of her blouse away from her skin as she knelt to tend the flowers in her garden. She glanced over at the baby, who slept fitfully under the shade of the lilac bush. “I wish I could be out here in nothing but my shift like you, darling girl,” she muttered as she cleared several deadheads from the roses. She paused to take a sip of cider from the stone bottle she’d brought outside. Cold and tart, she thought with a sigh as it ran down her throat. She cast her mind to remembering the receipt she used to make it, struggling with the details as thoughts from the night before stole through to distract her: Ross’s hands, his mouth, his neck and shoulders, the golden skin of his abdomen, the dimples above his buttocks. They’d spent their time together indulging in touch and taste, repeatedly resisting the urge towards completion for one reason: tonight was the night. It had been two months since Julia’s arrival, eight weeks to allow Demelza to fully heal to welcome her husband back to her bed.
And she was ready. More than ready. Every look, every conversation they’d had this morning all simmered with the knowledge that there was nothing to keep them from taking that final step together.
Except for the fields. And the mine. And the jam making. And the baby.
She could picture him, working side by side with Jud in the lower field, his shirt cast to the side while they scythed the hay in lazy, rhythmic arcs. She held the bottle an inch from her lips, seeing the beads of sweat gather along his shoulders to snake down his spine to the low waist of his breeches. Would he come home for dinner before heading to the mine? She couldn’t remember if he’d taken something with him to eat. If he came home to eat, perhaps she could persuade him to sneak upstairs…
She put down the bottle and groaned, balling her fists and pressing them against her thighs. If there is one thing she knew she didn’t want the first time they made love again to be a hasty fumble with no meaning. She wanted it to be special, almost like their wedding night: anticipatory, passionate, filled with the resolution of all the yearning and desire they had for one another.
Something special, she mused, a grin slowly spreading across her face. She dusted off her hands on her apron and rose to her feet to collect Julia. She had some planning to do.
Ross did indeed come home for dinner and fixed Demelza with a wolfish grin as soon as he walked through the door. She was grateful Jinny’s attention was occupied with the rabbit stew for there was no mistaking what was on his mind. Demelza put the cherry tart down on the table and brushed her hands on her apron. “Good afternoon, Ross,” she said brightly. “Were you able to finish the hay?”
“Nearly there, my dear,” he grumbled, brushing her cheek with his lips. He was covered with sweat and bits of hay and all she wanted to do was lick him clean. She bit her lip and felt the heat of his gaze drop to the pulse in her throat. At that moment, Jud shuffled into the parlour, heading straight for the cider and broke the mood. “Jud will be on his own the rest of the day,” Ross barked, raising his voice for effect, “with the goal of finishing the last half-acre by the time I return from the mine for tea.”
Jud looked up from his cider glass. “’alf an acre by tea time? Be merciful on an old soul, Cap’n Ross, sir.”
“Half an acre by tea time or you’ll feel my boot, man,” Ross growled. He looked at Demelza and winked, which surprised a giggle from her throat. She turned to get the wine, feeling the blush stain her cheeks. He sat down at the table as Jinny brought the stew. “This looks wonderful, Jinny, thank you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Jinny chirped with a blush and bobbed a quick curtsey before leaving the room.
“Ross?” Demelza murmured, sliding into her seat and dishing up the stew.
“Yes?” he said, glancing at her as he picked up a roll.
She reached for a roll and brushed her index finger against his. “You remember the night the pilchards came?” she asked. She spread a little butter on her roll and flicked at look at him. His eyes were dark green and glittered in the afternoon light.
“Yes I do,” he smiled, picking up the butter knife, split his roll and applied a liberal amount of butter on each side.
Demelza took a deep breath and squirmed a little in her seat. “When I was telling you what I liked about you?” He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers as he dipped half of his roll in his stew and raised it to his mouth. She couldn’t help but lick her lips as his strong teeth sank into the soft bread. “I told you I once saw you bathing in the sea.”
His eyes sparkled as he chewed and swallowed. “I remember, my dear. Spying on me long before I’d begun to see you as the desirable woman you are.” He cocked his head. “Is there something you want to ask me?”
He had a drop of gravy on the corner of his mouth that she wanted to lean over and lick away. He beat her to it. “I told you I wanted you to take me bathing in the sea,” she said, spooning some of the stew into her mouth. She noticed his eyes staring at her lips and she smiled as she chewed.
He glanced out the window, the sun’s heat radiating into the room. “It has been warm the last few days,” he murmured, tearing a bite sized piece of the roll with his fingers and popping it into his mouth.
She nodded. “And it’s been unbearable today.”
“Tonight?” he asked, his eyes direct, his meaning unambiguous. She nodded, returning his gaze with equal heat. He covered her hand with his, tracing circles across the top with his middle finger. She pressed her knees together under the table. “What of the baby?”
“Jinny said she can take care of her this evening,” she murmured. “I invited her to stay in the spare room with Kate for the night.”
His hand gripped hers reflexively. “Demelza.” His voice was dark, intimate and she leaned towards him, stretching to reach his descending lips. He tasted of butter and thyme and she moaned deep in her throat. He nipped her upper lip before leaning back in his seat. “I would take you upstairs right now if I could.”
“I would let you,” she admitted throatily.
He took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring. “I fear all of our teasing may have made us too hungry to be mindful at this moment,” he drawled, lacing his fingers with hers.
She gave his fingers a squeeze. “As much as I want you, I still worry.”
“I as well,” he agreed, “and I want to have a care, and admit I cannot be certain I could right now.” He sighed and smiled and Demelza’s heart warmed under his regard. “So we will swim. Midnight?”
She nodded. “I’ll be ready.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ross stacked up his notes for the shareholder’s meeting and checked his pocket watch for what must have been the ninth time. Half past eleven and he felt his body tighten with anticipation. He’d been unable to focus on the notes – or anything else, for that matter – for the entire evening, hell, for the entire day and the reason was currently upstairs with their kitchen maid.
Demelza had told him she’d been discreet about their reasons for Jinny to remain at their cottage for the night, but given how his wife had grown to consider the girl her confidant, he was fairly certain the maid had sorted it out. He’d clenched his teeth and ordered himself not to be embarrassed. It had worked for most of the day, but as midnight approached he found himself increasingly unable to meet the girl’s eyes. That’s when he decided to close himself up in the library. He wasn’t hiding, dammit; he had work to do.
In the end, he couldn’t blame his wife from seeking the counsel of her friend. He’d done the same thing himself, when Dwight came to the mine to check on his patients. Not that he’d gone to seek him out to do so, of course. The man had flat out asked Ross what was causing him to be distracted enough to require Dwight to repeat his question for the third time.
"What?” Ross asked, frowning.
“Honestly, Ross, it’s a simple question: will next Thursday suit for follow up visits with the affected miners? What is going on with you?”
“My apologies, Dwight.” Ross’s face burned with embarrassment. “I’ve a bit on my mind.”
“Anyone with eyes can see that,” Dwight agreed. “Is something wrong with Demelza or the baby?” Ross looked at Dwight out of the corner of his eye. He could almost hear his friend’s mind whirling and saw the moment realization dawned upon him. “How old is Julia today again?”
“Two months.”
“Oh,” Dwight said meaningfully. “Do you… er… are there any concerns—”
“—No,” Ross interrupted curtly. He sighed and looked his friend in his eyes. “None beyond my own impatience.” A sharp image of the last time he made love to Demelza flashed before him: the blood, the fear and the guilt. He swallowed. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You won’t,” Dwight said and put his hand on Ross’s shoulder. “Because you’re concerned and it is on your mind, you won’t. Remember what we’ve discussed and you will be fine.”
Ross truly hoped so. He was more nervous about this than anything that he’d experienced in his life.. He paced in front of the fire, remembering the time he spent with his daughter earlier in the evening; he’d marvelled over the ways she’d changed in just a short amount of time and she had surprised him by being able to hold her head up to look at him when he had her snuggled against his chest. The long-lashed blue eyes – so like her mother’s – were clearly focused on his face while she sucked on her fist. She stared at him for several minutes before pulling her fist away and smiling. He was awed by the lurch he’d felt in his chest and found himself grinning at her with every ounce of unconditional love he had for her.
He shook himself from the memory as the door to the library opened. It was Demelza. “My dear, are we ready?”
She nodded. “Julia’s been fed and is with Jinny now,” she murmured. “I’ve gathered some linens for us. Is there anything else we need, Ross?”
“That will be fine,” he said, walking over to her and taking her hand in his. Her nervousness was endearing and arousing at the same time. “Gather your cloak and let’s go.”
They made the walk to Hendrawna Beach in silence, her hand clasped tightly in his. He’d often wondered what it would be like to swim with Demelza, had known it would be earthy and sensual, but he hadn’t counted on what the anticipation the walk to the water would bring. By the time they reached the sand his heart was close to pounding through his chest.
He cleared his throat. “There is a cove over to the right that would give us the most privacy,” he said throatily, slipping his arm around her waist and guiding her towards the spot he had in mind. “Although I don’t expect us to be disturbed this late at night.”
“Yes, Ross,” she quavered.
He could hear a tremor around the edges of her voice and he paused, turning her to look up at him. “Have you changed your mind, my dear?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m just a little nervous.”
They continued down the beach in silence until he saw the indentation in the rock face he was looking for. “It’s right here,” he said softly and brought them to a halt. He encircled her waist in his arms, drawing her against him for a soft and lingering kiss. Her fingers reached for the top button of his waistcoat and he reached for the hooks at the front of her dress. They helped one another undress until they were down to her shift and his drawers.
She blinked up at him. “Since when did you start wearing drawers under your breeches?”
“We have several feet to go before we reach the surf so I thought you might be more comfortable if we first went in wearing drawers and a shift,” he said simply. She twitched her brows at him then reached to draw her shift over her hips then shoulders. The moonlight caressed her freckled skin, turning her nipples dark, the russet curls sheltering her sex near black. He groaned and drew her against him, savaging her mouth with his as his hands cupped her buttocks, clasping her tight against his hips. Her hands slipped underneath his drawers to caress his buttocks, nudging the drawers off his hips. The tip of his cock caught on the waistband and he stepped back to allow her the access to free him. She stroked him lightly as the drawers slid down his legs and he shuddered in her arms. He broke their kiss, stepping back and taking her hand. “Come with me.”
They ran to the surf, the chill of the water making them gasp and laugh involuntarily. It felt cool and refreshing against his overheated skin as he drew her along after him until they were both waist deep. A wave slipped in, dampening them to his chest and her shoulders. He turned to her, slipping his arms around her and looked into her eyes. “One, two, three—” and he plunged them both under the water. He heard her squeal through the water and brought them both back up to break the surface, water sluicing from their long hair. They laughed and splashed in the surf, slipping and sliding around and against one another like seals until their hands found what they sought: breast, chest, hip and thigh. They kissed wildly, Demelza’s legs slipping around his waist, bringing her warm woman’s flesh against him.
“Ross,” she gasped against his neck, thrusting against him.
“Demelza,” he groaned against her hair, trembling with the need to hammer into her warmth. “You’re not ready for me, not yet.” She nipped his shoulder and he gasped, his hands reflexively gripping her buttocks and almost crushing his resolve. He slid one of his hands between them, his middle finger easing into her quim, slick with the sea and her own body’s dew. She writhed against him, thrusting madly against his stroking finger. He kissed and nipped her earlobe. “Now two, my love.” The tips of his index and middle fingers teased the opening of her body.
“Oh God,” she sighed, her eyes widening as his hand moved closer. Her brow furrowed and she winced.
He froze, a frisson of fear snaking down his spine. “What’s wrong, love?” he whispered, slipping his fingers from her warmth.
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong,” she gasped, writhing against him. She squeezed his waist with her legs. He grunted, his hips flexing against her, his cock sliding closer to her centre.
“Stop, please,” he groaned. He grasped her hips to still her. “Darling, you looked to be in pain,” he said, reaching up to cup her face. He kissed her. “I don’t want to hurt you, and if we continue I won’t be able to stop.”
She looked at him, and a tear fell down her cheek that she swiped away. “It was a slight stinging sensation, nothing more. It was the salt water,” she explained, releasing her legs from around his waist. The water was too deep for her to reach the bottom. Her legs moved lazily against his, kicking swirls of water around his shins. “It had begun to ease when you stopped.”
Ross sighed and pulled her close. “That hadn’t even occurred to me,” he murmured against her temple. Her tongue ran over his collarbone and up his neck, and he groaned. He leaned his head back to look into her eyes. “And it was easing, yes?”
“Yes,” she crooned, her hands slipping over his back. “I don’t want to stop, Ross.” She slipped her legs around his waist again and pressed kisses on his chest, her lips closing around his nipple. He hissed air through his teeth, and he felt his cock pulse heavily against her slick folds. “I need you, inside me.”
“Let me,” he growled low in his throat. His hand streaked between their bodies, slipping between the inner lips of her sex. He locked eyes with her, pressing two fingers into her, watching for any sign of discomfort. She bit her bottom lip as he advanced, and rocked her hips against his hand. He groaned as her body stroked his fingers as they moved within her. Her nails bit into his shoulders, and he hissed against the stinging sea salt that entered the crescent shaped marks. He used his thumb to caress her bud, and he panted against her throat as she climaxed, the walls of her sex clenching around his fingers.
Ross swallowed, breathing heavily through his nostrils. “Good?” he gasped in her ear. She nodded against his neck. His cock rubbed against her, his tenuous hold on his need for her dissolving by the second. “Demelza, please.”
“Yes,” she breathed, tightening her arms around his shoulders, “now, my lover.”
He needed no further encouragement. He cupped her buttocks in his hands and shifted his hips to bring the tip of his cock to her centre. Her lids opened, her eyes locked onto his. “One word and we stop,” he murmured. She nodded frantically. “I love you, Demelza,” he whispered against her lips and gently thrust forward. They both gasped at that first, tremulous step as the tip of his cock edged into her. He found it hard to breathe as he slowly moved forward, watching her eyes for any sign of fear, praying for resolve should they need to stop. Inch by inch, the walls of her sex eased and welcomed him, the iron control he exerted on his body threatening to waver.
Demelza’s mouth slowly opened in a soundless gasp and he froze, his legs trembling. “My love?”
She smiled brilliantly, her teeth flashing white in the moonlight. “Please, Ross, please!”
The walls of her sex shimmered around him as her legs pulled him against her until he was deep, seated to his root. Ross exhaled forcefully, his vision narrowing as her body stroked his. He withdrew and thrust forward again, and she shattered around him. She gripped and pulled him with the strength of her orgasm, and he ceded defeat over his control. He thrust wildly inside her, the silken heat of her enveloping him, his climax approaching with each movement. Home, he thought desperately, I’ve come home. Hearing her breath sigh in his ears, feeling the touch of her hands on his flesh so deep inside her, so close… it was as if he couldn’t tell where he stopped and she began. Oh, he’d missed this communion with her.
The buoyancy of the sea rocked them, made him worry he would lose his footing, but not enough to stop. She was slick, hot, tight. His. His fingers sank into the lush curves of her buttocks, nerves of ecstasy dancing along his lower back and to his testicles that squeezed tightly against her body.
“I’m yours, Ross,” she wept against his ear as her hips twisted against his. She clenched around him as he froze within her. Her name was a strangled gasp on his lips as he filled her with his seed. The white-hot force of his orgasm caused his knees to buckle and they barely had time to catch a breath before they sunk under the water, kissing and trembling in each other’s arms before the need for air forced them upward. They gasped as their heads broke the surface. Ross laughed as she pressed kisses along the underside of his jaw. He drew back and kissed her, delighting in the taste of salt and Demelza on his tongue, shivering as her hands slipped down to his lower back. Her fingertips brushed the cleft of his buttocks and he growled against her mouth, breaking their kiss to look down into her eyes. “Demelza.”
“Ross,” she breathed, pressing her head against the curve of his neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist again, the soft hair and flesh of her womanhood brushing against his genitals.
He winced a little. His cock was sensitive as it always was after they made love, yet he snuggled her closer despite of it. “I trust you enjoyed our swim, my dear?” he murmured against her forehead.
“Oh yes, my lover,” she purred as she leaned back to look up at him. Her eyes, sated and content, sparkled with mirth as she brushed a lock of his damp hair away from his cheek. “I should like to do this as often as possible.”
He laughed. “Agreed, my love.” He kissed her leisurely, enjoying the sound of the surf in his ears and the feel of the woman in his arms. She shivered, and as much as he wanted to think it was due to their lovemaking, he knew the chill of the water was the most likely culprit. He broke their kiss and leaned back, chuckling as he watched her pout. “I think we should make our way back to shore.” She released the hold she had on his hips and squeaked when he scooped her up in his arms and started walking towards the beach. He set her down near their pile of clothes and began to dry her skin with the bath linen. She returned the favour, both of them occasionally distracted by a kiss, a caress until their chilled skin warmed with desire once again. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed a kiss across her lips. “Let’s go back to where we started, Demelza.”
She smiled brilliantly. “Yes, Ross. Where we started.” They dressed hurriedly and made their way back up the hill to their cottage overlooking the sea. The door squeaked as they entered the hallway. Demelza lit a candle as Ross set the damp linens in the laundry. They’d just begun to creep up the stairs when Julia’s cry split the silence of the house. Demelza turned to look at him, her eyes filled with apology. He brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “Go to her, love,” he murmured. “I’ll wait for you in our bedchamber.”
He waited for forty-five minutes, spending his time lighting the candles and stoking the fire in the hearth. He poured a generous glass of brandy and closed his eyes as it slid down his throat and warmed his stomach. He had just shrugged out of his waistcoat when the door opened. She smiled at him, her eyes warm and luminous in the candlelight. “Julia is all right, my dear?”
“Yes, Ross,” she murmured, walking across the room and into his arms. “She was a little startled when she woke, but she was fine once I nursed her.” She stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips across his. “Mmmm… you taste of salt and brandy and Ross.”
He kissed her, his mouth once again hungry for hers and shuddered at her eager response. Her hands slid up to his shoulders to tug at his braces and he broke their kiss to laugh. “I sense you are trying to tell me something?”
She giggled. “I would have you again, sir,” she cooed, drawing his braces down his arms.
“As I would you, madam,” he uttered, unbuttoning her blouse.
They made love in the bed where their life together started, their bodies gilded in candlelight. Ross let out a shuddering breath as he eased into the cradle of her hips and thrust into her welcoming body. They moved as one, ebbing and flowing like the sea, with and against one another until, with gasps and sighs, they reached completion.
They were silent as they nestled close after their lovemaking. Ross stroked Demelza’s glorious curling hair, smiling as the tip of her index finger circled his nipple. A feeling of profound contentment enveloped him with her in his arms, her body pressed against his. In a flash, he realized that’s what he’d been feeling: wholeness with her. They’d welcomed their daughter into their lives, had begun to return to one another; and now, tonight, they’d finally reached the end of that journey back to wholeness.
“Dearest Ross,” she sighed against his throat. “What are you thinking?”
He swallowed heavily, and found he needed to clear his throat. “That we are whole,” he whispered hoarsely. She leaned up on her elbow to look at him. “Christmas night, when I told you I loved you for the first time? It was as if we’d come to a sense of wholeness with one another. Learning about Julia filled me with a joy I didn’t know existed.” He touched her cheek. “We started a new journey towards a deeper wholeness that night, as we awaited our girl.“ His hand caressed her breast and stomach. “Seeing you grow with our child inside you. Spending time with you and with Julia, learning how to be with her and with one another since she’s come into our lives. To know that we can once again find passion with one another, in addition to the joy that comes from loving Julia?” He kissed her gently. “We are whole, more deeply whole than I ever could have imagined.”
“I love you,” she smiled tremulously and kissed him. He wrapped her in his arms and drew them deeper within the bedclothes, cocooned in the warmth of their bodies.
“I love you, too,” he murmured against her lips.
And they slept.
Hours later, Ross woke from his sleep to find Julia and Demelza lying next to him. The baby laid face up, her long lashes fanned across her cheeks. He put his hand on her stomach and found it round and tight with her mother’s milk. He brushed his thumb across it and smiled as Julia twitched in response. Demelza sighed and opened her eyes, looking first at his hand then moving up to meet his eyes. “When did you bring her in with us?” he whispered.
“About an hour and a half after we fell asleep,” Demelza mouthed. She reached for the baby. “Shall I put her in her cradle?”
Ross frowned and shook his head. “No, let me. Ross sat up and slipped his hands under the baby. She came blearily awake, gurgling as he scooped her up, leaned back against the pillows and laid her down on his chest. The baby smiled sleepily into his eyes, her fist balling up around a patch of chest hair. He winced and Demelza laughed, rubbing her hand on their daughter’s back before resting her head on his shoulder and slipped her arm around his waist.
Ross resumed stroking slow circles along his daughter’s back and thought about the last several months and all that had become part of his life: a marriage, born of necessity had become the centre of his universe. His child, who – along with his wife – had become the most precious thing in his life.
None of the future’s uncertainties could touch him right now. All that mattered was right there, in his arms.
THE END