Chapter Text
Cody was fucking irritated.
At least, when the two-twelfth worked with the five-oh-first, Rex was here to suffer along with him.
He liked General Kenobi. He really did. Sure, the man liked to run around battlefields wearing only a tunic and pants, ending up with blaster wounds to match half the battalion. Sure, he didn't seem to eat or sleep, just surviving off tea, stim shots and meditation. Sure, he was completely banthashit crazy, ran into dangerous situations without ever checking his back, and his favourite tactic for dealing with seps was to flirt with them until they exploded in confused rage.
But, he had never led Cody's men wrong. He was incredible to watch on the battlefield, all lethal grace and deadly acrobatics with his lightsaber.
And he did fucking exemplary paperwork.
But, when they teamed up with the five-oh-first, like they did more often than not these days, there was General Skywalker.
Skywalker, who understood droids better than he understood organic sentient beings. Skywalker, who ran into danger equally as blindly as Kenobi. Skywalker, who seemed to take Kenobi's banthashit crazy attitude as a challenge. Skywalker, who likes to Force-fling his troops with no warning (the five-oh-first say that you get used to it, the two-twelfth do not want to get used to it). Skywalker, who is absolutely fucking shit at doing his paperwork, and Rex and Cody always end up redoing it for him. Skywalker, whose flying felt an awful lot like crashing.
Skywalker, who whenever he was near General Kenobi, draped himself over the other man as if he was a particularly extravagant cloak. They were all over each other and it made Cody's jaw clench. It's not professional.
And now.
Now.
There was a fucking third one.
A tiny little togruta.
She had pointy teeth.
Cody wanted to scream.
What's worse, was that Rex was looking at her like she was an adorable little loth kitten. Rex was his closest friend, including his batch, and it is betrayal, because she is not a loth kitten, she's another banthashit crazy Jedi and she leads the charge against the clankers, lightsaber swinging as she uses the droid’s heads as stepping stones, running right up to the damn cannons and slicing them in half.
Kenobi and Skywalker looked like they wanted to cry with pride at this crazy bullshit. Skywalker gave her a double thumbs up as she stood on top of a rollie and slid her saber through its head.
She was wearing a damn tube top.
What was worse, was that Cody knew that it was just these three. On the CC squad chat, the others talked about their Jedi like they were gods. They made normal well thought out decisions and presented excellent tactical battle plans. Wolffe remarks on General Plo Koon's skills of infiltration and stealth. Ponds talks about General Mace Windu's powers of strategic battle planning. Gree praises the grace and quiet dignity of General Luminara Unduli and her padawan Barriss Offee. Bacara commends General Ki-Adi-Mundi's abilities in combat, and how good he is at not getting shot. Kenobi and Skywalker get shot all the damn time. Bly talks… well Bly talks about General Aayla Secura as if the sun shines out of her arse. It might do. What does Cody know?
It was only him and Rex who seemed to be stuck with mentally deficient Generals.
Cody's only saving grace was Fox, who bitched about the Chancellor and most of the Senate.
Actually, apart from some senator's called Bail, Amidala and Chuchi, Fox hated the whole of Coruscant and most of the Republic too.
Now, the battle was over, and the three nutjobs were helping to move injured vod to the hastily erected medical tent. Despite the intensity of the blaster fire exchanged, there were minor only wounds, and they hadn't lost a single man. Cody's comm pinged.
"Commander Cody here."
"Sir. We believe we have found what we are looking for."
"Right with you lieutenant."
They were here, on this horrid little dust ball that Cody has deliberately not learnt the name of out of pure spite, searching for some secret weapon the seppies apparently got hold of and were transporting through neutral space. Cody signalled to Rex who collected the Jedi, and they made their way up the valley to a few abandoned transports. He says abandoned. There were bits of clankers scattered everywhere. They didn't leave willingly.
A scout group stood outside at parade rest, almost vibrating with pride. Cute little shinies.
"Sir!"
Inside the transport were dozens of crates.
"Did anyone open these?" asked Kenobi.
"No General."
"Good," said Kenobi, and he and Skywalker moved inside the transport. With a flick of his fingers, Skywalker indicated that the others should remain outside. The tiny togruta, Tano, bounced on the balls of her feet. The lids of the crates were hinged so that the two Jedi had to move to the other side of them, so now the crates are in between them and the exit, which made Cody's neck itch. Rex was similarly tense.
"Ready?" asked Skywalker.
"The honour is yours, dear one," replied Kenobi. Cody twitched. So unprofessional.
With a flick of his fingers, Skywalker opened one of the crates.
"Huh," is all he said.
From this angle, only he and Kenobi could see what was inside the crate, but Cody and the others could see the two Jedi’s faces. It didn't help much. Kenobi had arched his eyebrow of doom and Skywalker was just blinking down at the contents of the crate. He replaced the lid and opened another crate. They both peered inside, glanced at one another, then shut it again carefully. Kenobi took a step back and sank into his thinking pose, arms folded across his chest and one of his hands scratching at his beard. Cody hated his thinking pose. Nothing good ever came of it. Skywalker remained bent over the crate, leaning on his gloved hands.
"The other transporters, are they full of the same crates?" Kenobi asked the scout.
"Yes General."
“Have you scanned for trackers?” queried Skywalker.
“Yes General. We didn't find any.”
The two Jedi lapsed into thoughtful silence again.
"Generals?" asked Rex, warily.
They ignored him.
"Well…" said Kenobi.
"Obviously, we will have to dispose of this… very carefully" said Skywalker.
"Obviously" agreed Kenobi.
Cody had a sinking feeling.
"Probably an all hands-on deck kind of an affair… we'll have to land the fleet."
"Oh, I should imagine so."
Cody didn’t have a sinking feeling; he had a crashing feeling.
"There's that nice little planet in this system, we visited it once."
"Millbillillie?"
"Big oceans. We went fishing."
"No sentient life, no particularly harmful flora…"
"Nice beaches, despite the sand"
"I think you might be right my dear."
"We could be there in under two hours."
The two Jedi smiled at each other, terrifying gundark-like grins. Cody resisted the urge to ram his face into the side of the downed transport.
"Well then. Gentlemen, you have your orders. Remove these crates to the Negotiator. Then we will rendezvous on Millbillillie as soon as possible."
With that, the two Jedi strode back towards the gunships, the little togruta girl bouncing behind them.
"I have a bad feeling about this," said Cody, filled with dread.
Rex groaned.
Landing the two star destroyers, the Negotiator and the Resolute, on Millbillillie was no easy task. Both Rex and Cody tried to dissuade their respective Generals of the plan, but they were insistent that every vod should be able to go planetside, and worryingly silent about why. Cody would have worried that they were planning on blowing up the vode with whatever is in those damn crates, but he was fairly sure that the Jedi wouldn't do that. It helped to settle his nerves that they'd come planetside with them, acting suspiciously giddy about the whole affair.
Even Kenobi.
The ships were directed to land on open grassy plains, separated from the deep blue ocean by a long strip of white sand. It was mid-morning, according to Millbillillie's thirty standard hour rotation. When General Kenobi instructed them to carry the crates to the beach, Cody worried that the Jedi were going to bomb the ocean for some fun.
Eventually they all stood, each and every vod from both battalions, about three-hundred strong, scattered around the crates and up the beach.
"Alright gentlemen. And lady. Gentlepersons. Are we all ready?" asked Kenobi.
None of the vode answered, because they had no idea what they were supposed to be ready for. Cody stood beside Rex, closer to the Jedi and the crates than any of the other clones. Kenobi beckoned them both closer while Skywalker opened the crates, all of them with one flick of his hand, Tano peering over his shoulder curiously.
Cody blinked.
The crates were filled, all fifty or so of them, with bottles.
Bottles of beer.
The brand name was Secret Weapon.
Cody didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry.
"What the fuck?" is what he said instead.
"It appears," said Kenobi, "from what I was able to decipher from the original intercepted communication, that a tactical droid mistakenly ordered fifty crates of Secret Weapon, believing them to be… well. Believing them to be secret weapons."
"And we're… going to pour it all into the ocean?" asked Rex.
"Good gracious no. We're going to drink it," said Kenobi. As if that's the obvious thing to do when you find fifty crates of seppie alcohol.
"Which reminds me, Waxer? Boil?"
Cody blinked. This isn't going to be good.
"Oh yeah… Fives? Hardcase?" said Skywalker. The men in question warily made their way to the front of the crowd and stood at parade rest.
"Now, boys. We're going to need your moonshine." said Kenobi, smiling genially.
"Err… What's moonshine sir?" said Fives. He's a terrible liar.
"You're not in any trouble," Skywalker reassured them quickly. "We just have a bet. We want to know who's rotgut is better, two-twelfth or five-oh-first."
"And I'm sure it wouldn't go amiss at the party."
"The… party, sir?"
Cody had that sinking feeling again.
"Oh right!" Skywalker said, and then leapt up onto a crate to address the gathered men. "Alright troopers, consider yourselves on leave for the next thirty-hour rotation!" he shouted, to cheers from the men. "Now," at that, he dramatically ripped his tunics open. Rex made a choking noise next to Cody’s ear.
"LETS FUCKING PARTY!"
They're all going to die, Cody thought.
It took a while for the men (Cody and Rex) to be convinced that the two Jedi weren't fucking with them. Eventually though, the troopers spread themselves up and down the beach, laughing and chatting and actually relaxing for once in their short and fairly miserable lives. They stripped off their buckets and pushed their bare feet into the sand. Some of them were swimming. Some of them were playing a game with a ball they've brought from the destroyers. Most of them sat, gazing out to sea and holding bottles of beer, talking happily.
Cody watched them wistfully. He hadn't known how to relax since he was about five years old and started advanced training with Alpha-17.
He and Rex were standing with their Generals, Commander Tano, and the moonshiners. Waxer, Boil, Fives, Hardcase, joined by Echo, Jesse and surprisingly Kix, were waiting around for their General's verdicts. Kenobi had produced a couple of cups, and some of the men had brought more from the ships.
Skywalker's shirt was still hanging open.
Cody and Rex had quietly agreed to turn a blind eye to the moonshine, stills tucked away deep in the bowels of the engine rooms. Fives couldn't keep a secret to save his life, so the whole damn GAR had known within hours about his moonshine set up, and Waxer and Boil had quickly copied them. The idiots even hid it in the exact same spot on the Negotiator as it was on the Resolute. Cody kind of regretted his and Rex’s approach of tactical ignorance though.
There was so much of it.
Both Skywalker and Kenobi held a cup, a different rotgut in each, and took a swig at the same time. Their expressions portraying nothing, they swapped cups and took another swig, perfectly synchronised. This time, Skywalker's face twisted up in disgust.
"Force that's awful," he took another big gulp, "I love it."
Kenobi laughed.
"You are terrible, dear one. Have I taught you nothing?"
"You're just too used to your fancy Coruscanti wines and Corellian brandies. This is proper alcohol," Skywalker insisted. "The five-oh-first's is clearly the superior brew!"
"It's nearly undrinkable."
"It's rotgut! It's not supposed to be drinkable. It's supposed to taste like pain and suffering, and leave you blind after half a glass." Skywalker said, suspiciously enthusiastic. "The two-twelfth's brew tastes like something you would find in a bar. An awful bar admittedly, but a bar nonetheless. Therefore, it is not a proper moonshine, and must be disqualified from the competition."
Fives, Hardcase, and most concerningly, Kix were nodding along as if this were a normal, perhaps even sane stance to take.
"I'm sorry, are you saying that it is too nice to be considered the better of the two brews?" Kenobi asked incredulously.
"Yes," declared Skywalker decisively, arms folded across his puffed-out chest.
"We'll have to put it to a wider vote it seems.” Kenobi started doling out cups of the two brews around the group. They hadn't even eaten lunch yet. Cody refused the cup that Kenobi pressed into his hands, or he tried to anyway.
"Cody, we're completely safe here. You can relax."
Cody frowned. Damn Jetii always knew what's on his mind. He accepted the cup; he didn't want to insult the General after all. He didn't plan to actually drink it anyway. Kenobi gave him a suspicious look, so Cody grit his teeth and took a sip. His eyes and throat burned. Even his ears burned.
"Kriff. Tastes like lighter fluid. You're sure this is the stuff that's been through the stills?"
Kenobi threw his head back and laughed, eyes crinkled at the sides and cheeks flush.
Unprofessional, thought Cody.
Rex had a bottle of Secret Weapon, and was spared the indignity of drinking the moonshine. If only Cody had thought of that.
"Are you sure Skyguy?" came Tano's voice.
"If you want to try it, you're welcome," replied Skywalker.
Kenobi and Cody turned in unison. Tano was holding a glass of the moonshine. Cody felt that tendril of dread curling around his gut again.
"I'd rather you experiment here, where I can look after you, than sneak off and get into trouble. Or worse, hurt yourself."
It was a suspiciously reasonable statement coming from General 'It's not a crash, it's a tactical descent' Skywalker. Kenobi snorted.
"Talking from experience there dear one?" he said, and from his tone Cody inferred that Skywalker absolutely was. It didn't help his case that Skywalker’s face went the same shade of red as the Coruscant guard.
"What's Master Kenobi talking about Skyguy?" asked Tano gleefully.
"I've told you Ahsoka, call me Obi-Wan,” Kenobi dusted invisible dirt from his tunics, “and I am of course referring to the time that, when they were padawans, Anakin and Aayla snuck out to go pod-racing. Then they used their winnings to buy themselves a couple of drinks at a rather seedy establishment, and managed to get themselves arrested for being drunk and disorderly. Quinlan and I had to drag ourselves out of bed in the small hours of the morning and retrieve them. Upon returning to the temple, we were caught by Master Windu. Anakin vomited all down his robes."
"Oh, like you and Vos never did anything like that when you were padawans," Skywalker grumbled. "And anyway, you got your revenge. Vos and Obi let us sleep for about two hours, then shouted at us to get up and threw us around the training room until we begged for our lives."
Rex and the other men listening to the story burst into laughter. Cody allowed himself a small smirk and another swig of his drink to hide it.
"And, because Obi-Wan and Quinlan Vos are whores," Cody choked on said drink, "they didn't tell us that we could have used the Force to push the leftover alcohol from our bodies, like we were taught to do with poisons, and then not been so hungover. A skill which is better practised with alcohol rather than toxic chemicals, so if it helps, consider this a lesson."
Tano screwed up her face with determination, took a big gulp, and immediately started coughing.
"Oh, that's horrible. Why? Just… why?"
Skywalker laughed and switched their drinks. Tano bravely took another, much smaller, sip.
"That's… I think this one might be nice. I can't tell," Tano took another sip thoughtfully while Skywalker groaned.
"Ugh you're gonna side with Obi. That is betrayal. You are disowned."
"Glad to see you have refined tastes, young padawan, welcome to the 212th" grinned Kenobi, and Tano lit up at his off-handed praise. Cody got it, more than he would like to admit. Rex sidled up to him, and tapped their drinks together, grinning.
"I can't wait to join you, Master Kenobi" she joked.
"I've told you, Ahsoka, please call my Obi-Wan. You are my grand-padawan after all."
Ahsoka beamed with excitement.
"You know, Snips," said Skywalker in the tone of voice that meant he was about to stir the shit in a major way, "if you aren't comfortable calling him by his name, you could always call him by his official title," he downed the rest of his drink, which was a lot of alcohol to have drunk in only a few minutes, and looked directly at General Kenobi, "Obes Kenobes."
The group gathered around the moonshine fell silent.
Kenobi cleared his throat.
"Cody, would you be a dear and hold my drink for me?" he said, tone light, and Cody fumbled to take it from him.
"Oh kark," said Skywalker, and took off at a run, tossing his empty cup down on the sand. Kenobi chased after him, and they darted between the men on the beach.
"Come here you little shit," shouted Kenobi, and Cody's eye twitched. General Kenobi, whilst being a lunatic, is the most well dressed, refined, put together lunatic that Cody has ever seen. But now, he has thrown himself at Skywalker and they crashed into the surf, wrestling like shinies fighting over who gets to have the last treat on Kamino.
And he just swore.
With a flick of his hand, Skywalker sent a wave which knocked Kenobi beneath the surface of the waves, which made Cody's hands tighten around the cups he was holding, but then Kenobi surfaced and staggered to his feet. His grin was feral.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be?"
Kenobi span around and slammed his palms towards Skywalker, sending half the fucking ocean at him. Poor Skywalker flew down the beach and hit the sand rolling. Clones scattered, laughing.
"It's fucking on, Obes Kenobes" he said, rising into a defensive stance, and pulled his fists into his chest. A wave raced towards Kenobi from behind, but he was clearly expecting the attack and he sidestepped it, redirecting it toward Skywalker. Skywalker flung his palm outwards, and the water sank back into the ocean, just in time for him to roll out of the way of another great torrent of water.
It might be the coolest fight Cody has ever seen.
"I have got to learn how to do that," whispered Tano.
"Fuck yeah you do," said Fives.
Skywalker sent wave after wave at Kenobi, who pushed them aside just as quickly, but he didn't notice that Skywalker was using the waves as a distraction to get closer and was tackled through the final wave.
And then.
General Kenobi.
Member of the Jedi Council.
Got General Skywalker.
The chosen one.
In a headlock.
And gave him a noogie.
Cody couldn’t fucking believe this shit.
Skywalker yelled and wriggled and thrashed but Kenobi managed to keep hold of him, driving his knuckles relentlessly into Skywalker's head.
"I yield! I YIELD YOU FUCKING MONSTER."
Kenobi released Skywalker, shoving him into the surf once more, laughing as he came up spluttering.
The two Jedi made their way back toward their little group, laughing and bumping into each other. Cody held out the cup for Kenobi, but instead of taking it he began to strip off his soaked tunic, closely followed by Skywalker.
And Cody…
Cody's mind went completely blank.
"I didn't know you had tattoos too, Master Obi-Wan," said Tano cheerfully.
Too? Cody chanced a glance over at Skywalker, and sure enough he too was covered, neck down, in intricate patterns.
"Hmm? Oh yes, ever since I became a knight."
"We got matching ones when I was knighted, Obi-Wan wouldn't let me get any before then," added Skywalker, pointing at the outline of the Jedi symbol, in black over his heart.
"Actually, Anakin has done quite a few of mine himself. Some of his own too." Kenobi sounded proud.
"Oooh, which ones?" asked Tano, leaning towards Kenobi, who was now sitting down, peeling off his sodden boots.
Kenobi pointed to an intricate technical drawing of a familiar lightsaber blade on his inner forearm and held it out for Tano to inspect. With his other hand he rolled up his pants leg, exposing his lower legs.
"So cool, Skyguy," she breathed, tracing her fingers over the lines on Kenobi's arm. Cody wanted to smack her hand away.
Because unprofessional.
"Cheers Snips, I can show you how to do it some time. Fancy tattooing your Master?"
"Really?"
"Well, I'm not gonna let you practice on yourself. If you're interested?"
Tano squealed in excitement and bounced over to hug her half naked Master. When he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, Cody saw his bare arms for the first time. He hadn't known General Skywalker had lost an arm. Explained the constant use of gloves, he supposes.
Kenobi reached up to take the cup from Cody's hand, which he belatedly realised he was still holding out. Their fingers brushed and Cody shivered.
Later, they all sat on the beach, watching a group of clones playing volleyball. The two Jedi were still naked apart from their leggings, their soaked tunics drying further up the beach. Waxer and Boil were playing, and Kix was having a bitch with the other medics further up the beach. Fives, Echo, Jesse and Hardcase were somewhere else, doing something that Cody decided he didn't have the energy to care about. It was just him, Rex, Kenobi, Tano, and Skywalker. Cody could even say he was enjoying himself.
The 501st's moonshine was very strong.
And despite the dodgy origins and strange name, the secret weapon beer was quite nice.
It was mid-afternoon on Millbillillie, and the sun was high in the sky. Most of the vod, Rex included, had stripped down to just their underwear, others are completely naked. Modesty has never been a thing amongst the troopers. They're not people, they're property, they don't get to have the luxury of modesty. In any case, they all have the same body, with a few variations here and there. Rex is blond. Fox has premature greyness. Cody himself was fairly standard, clone wise, apart from his scar. He didn't mind. He made sure to work out extra anyway.
Because he’s a professional, and not any other reason.
He still wanted to cover Tano's eyes, but it appeared modesty wasn't really a thing amongst the Jedi either and she hadn't batted an eyelid.
Cody was shirtless but had kept his leggings on and rolled up the cuffs. He was still a commander.
And he didn't want sand on his balls.
A sentiment Skywalker seemed to share, if the way he is perched in the middle of his spread-out cloak as if it is an island in the middle of the Kamino ocean is anything to go by.
They were a little set aside from the rest of the vod, which Cody appreciated. They're their commanders. It was hard to relax around your boss. It was also hard to relax around your underlings if their faith in you being a competent human being is what's keeping them going. Cody wished his batch brothers were here. Fox understands, probably the most out of everyone. The pressure to keep it together while everything is falling apart. Bly, Bacara, Ponds and Gree too. Wolffe is lucky. His company was small enough that command structure could be largely forgotten on their super-secret stealth missions. Still, he has his moments, especially when he loses one of them. Rex understood, but Cody still felt like he couldn't burden his younger brother like that. So, he holds it together while Rex breaks down, and then the next time Cody is on Coruscant, he and Fox will lock themselves away for as long as they are able and drink until they are blind.
Fuck, Cody is a morbid drunk.
He should probably drink more.
He ambled over to pick up another bottle of 212th moonshine for them all to share, then ambled back to the group. Revelling in the sunshine, and the peace, and the laughter, and the lack of being shot at.
He really wished Fox could be here.
He'd said some things, whilst really drunk, that made Cody feel sick if he thought about them too much. It worried him more than he could say that Fox, tucked away in Coruscant, seemed to be in the most danger of all his brothers.
As he approached, he noticed that Kenobi had a traditional Mandalorian helmet tattooed on his shoulder blade, above a familiar phase.
Not gone, merely marching away.
"Is that Mandalorian sir?" Cody asked, dumbly. He knew it was Mandalorian, he just didn't know how else to ask about it.
"Hm?" asked Kenobi, taking the bottle of moonshine from him. Their fingers brushed.
"On your shoulder," Cody clarified.
"Oh. Yes. It's a memorial. To a friend I lost."
"Who was your friend?" Tano asked, gently.
"Her name was Satine."
Cody blinked, surely not…
"Duchess Satine Kyrze. Of Mandalore." said Skywalker, looking sadly at his Master.
Cody remembered Kenobi travelling to Mandalore just before the Duchess had died. He had seemed unusually rattled, after the whole sorry affair, and Cody had known that he'd protected her during the Mandalorian civil war when he was still a padawan, but he hadn't realised they were so close. She had only died a few months ago.
"Anakin-"
"Obi-Wan she was your first love. She wasn't just a friend. You can talk about her. You should talk about her, it'll help."
Kenobi sighed, rolling slightly to rest his head on Skywalker's shoulder. Tano put voice to Cody's question.
"She was your girlfriend? I thought… I thought the code prohibited that kind of thing."
"Well. I wouldn't really call her my girlfriend. We shared… something, for a time. I would have left the order if she asked me. But she didn't." Kenobi took a swig of his moonshine and grimaced before he continued.
"As for the code… I rather think that's a question for your master."
Skywalker rolled his eyes.
"Geez, thanks Master," he too took a swig of his drink before answering.
"Firstly, the code doesn't explicitly prohibit sex or even relationships. The whole attachments business that the council likes to go on and on about is just something that was introduced later by some hardliners and was then adopted by the order as a whole. Secondly, me and Obi-Wan don't really follow the Jedi code. Never have, not the strict one anyway."
Cody blinked. The two most famous Jedi didn't follow the Jedi code. Huh.
"What- what do you mean? Why don't you follow the code?" Tano sounded nervous.
"Well, it's fucking nonsense to start with. I mean, there is no ignorance, only knowledge. Bit arrogant. There is no emotion, only peace? Have you seen Mace Windu? No passion only serenity my remaining right arm. It's just… it's a load of kark. And so, we don't really… do it. The whole thing. Obi-Wan tried to, for me, when I first became his padawan. But then something happened and Obi-Wan just gave up on the whole thing." Skywalker waved his drink around angrily as he spoke, and some splashed out the side. Kenobi wrinkled his nose.
"But… you're Jedi! Master Obi-Wan is on the council!"
"What are they gonna do? Kick out two of their most powerful knights because they refuse to not care about people? The council may pretend to be above politics my dear, but they are most assuredly not."
How Kenobi managed to be so articulate whilst sounding so angry, Cody didn't know. He might ask some day. It's very attractive.
"As for Obi-Wan being on the council, that's just because of the war. He's the most experienced at leading battles and stuff, he just tells them what to do on the battlefield and they do it," Skywalker grumbled and took a swig of his drink.
That… doesn't really compute with Cody. According to the CC squad chat the rest of the Jedi are competent commanders who come prepared with immaculate battle plans. Kenobi and Skywalker just run around the front lines, flashing their lightsabers and shouting and almost getting themselves killed by… by drawing all the blaster fire to themselves.
Oh.
It's sort of embarrassing that they've been doing that shit for two years and he's only just realised.
"So why are you Jedi at all? If you don't believe any of it?" asked Rex, and Skywalker sighed.
"Because the order does good work. Work that we believe in. And we enjoy doing it. Not the war stuff, that's shit, but the helping people stuff. It's not so hard to play pretend for the holonet and then get on with our lives. We all have the same goals, so we pretend to be good, proper Jedi in public and the council don't kick us out."
Tano chewed this over.
"Is that why- is that why Master Yoda sent me to be your Padawan? Because he doesn't think I can be a proper Jedi? Is that why Master Koon didn't take me?"
"Snips. Come here."
Skywalker reached out a hand and pulled her into his lap, resting her back against his chest and squeezing.
"First things first, you should watch this. I kept a recording, thought you might want to see it someday..." Skywalker tapped the inner wrist of his metal arm, and a panel slid up to reveal an inbuilt com.
"Since when did you have a com in there?" asked Kenobi.
"Eh. I kept losing mine, so I stuck one in on my last upgrade."
Cody had wondered what had changed when Skywalker had miraculously started to not lose his com in every kriffing battle. After a few more taps, a small blue figure appeared above Skywalkers wrist. General Plo Koon. It appeared to be the recording of a holocall.
"Knight Skywalker."
"Master Plo! What can I do for you?"
"Master Yoda tells me you have taken young Ahsoka Tano as you Padawan." As always, the Kel Dor’s voice was smooth and devoid of any easily deciphered emotion. Cody had never been able if that was the Jedi or the Kel Dor in him.
"Yup… She told me you're the one who brought her to the temple." Skywalker replied in the recording, voice cautious.
"Indeed." A long pause. "I had intended to take her as my own padawan, but with my role in the war I felt it would be… unwise, to take on such a young student."
"Probably for the best." agreed Skywalker, still sounding suspicious and slightly confused.
"Probably… That being said, if I were to find out that she was ever unhappy in your care, or if she were ever to be severely injured, you would find yourself out of a padawan and quite possibly, your remaining arm. Do I make myself clear?"
"...As kyber Plo."
Oddly, Skywalker's voice was filled with warmth as he replied to the frankly, quite terrifying threat.
"Splendid. I'm sure it will be an excellent match. Force be with you Anakin."
Amusement and pleasure threaded the Kel Dor’s voice, barely there but still noticeable.
"And also with you Plo."
The recording cut out and the miniature figure of General Koon disappeared. Tano's eyes were full of tears. Kenobi reached over to squeeze her hand.
"And secondly, Snips, is that when Master Yoda sent you to me you became his, hang on let me get this right, his great-great-great-grand padawan. He must think you're pretty awesome to do that right?"
"Oh,” she wiped tears off her cheeks, “That's pretty cool I guess. Wait… if I'm his great-great-great-grand padawan, then… who was Master Qui-Gon’s Master?"
"Count Dooku. Losing Qui-Gon is what caused him to fall."
Kenobi said it so casually, as if he hadn't just taken everything Cody thought he knew about Jedi and the Sith, and then set it on fire. Tano and Rex looked just as dumbfounded as he felt.
"But… But… Count Dooku is the one who chopped off your kriffing arm! How could he do that to his own great-grand-padawan?" shrieked Tano, staring at her Master.
Skywalker shrugged.
"He always kinda blamed me for Qui-Gon’s death. I was nine but go off I guess. And the first time I met him I bit him, so…”
"You bit him?" asked Cody.
"Yeah. As a slave on Tatooine I had some bad experiences with posh older men wanting to touch me and I panicked and just… bit him."
Cody blinked.
Huh.
"I didn't know you were… a slave."
Cody nearly said 'like us', which would've been awkward. Looking at the expressions on the faces of Kenobi and Skywalker, it's what they heard anyway.
"Yup, since birth. Then when I was nine this space wizard came and won me in a bet in a pod race."
"A pod race in which you competed in, and won. First human to win the Boonta Eve classic," added Kenobi mildly.
"When you were nine?" Rex sounded like he was having a stroke, which Cody thought was fair enough.
"Yeah. Anyway Qui-Gon only won me in the bet so after he died and Obi-Wan became my master, we went back, and we bought my mom's freedom."
"Wait. Master Jinn didn't free your mom too? And why did he win you in a bet? Why didn't he just buy your freedom?" Tano demanded. Which… Yeah?
"He didn't have any money" answered Skywalker, ever so casually.
"He had a lightsaber! He was a Jedi!" Tano sounded furious.
"I loved Qui-Gon, but he could be a massive dick sometimes." said Kenobi, which seemed like an understatement.
"I like to pretend that our lineage goes you, me, Obes Kenobes, then Yodes." said Skywalker. Kenobi sighed.
"Anyway! Before we got side-tracked I was trying to make a point. Me and Obi are terrible Jedi. Other terrible Jedi include: Plo Koon, as demonstrated before. Also, he's trying to legally adopt his squadron which is entertaining. Aayla Secura, wants to do horrible filthy things to her commander and whines about it whenever I comm her to gossip.” Cody filed that away to freak out over later. “Her Master, Quinlan Vos. Actually, Vos is just a terrible person and you should probably avoid him."
"Vos is one of my best friends Anakin." Kenobi protested.
"You can't be trusted. You shagged him." Cody choked. Skywalker continued, blasé.
"You had 'I heart Quinlan Vos' tattooed on your ass for a year and you didn't even notice until I asked you about it."
"Force, I forgot about that fucking tattoo. I can't believe he managed to get me that drunk. And then healed it so I wouldn't notice, the whore."
"I can't believe he kept his matching one even after you had yours removed. Anyway, my list of terrible Jedi. Me, Obi, Plo, Aayla, Vos… oh. Master Fisto. Kit's a fucking party legend. Yoda is also secretly a terrible Jedi, but he has to be neutral because he is the leader of the council. But also, he keeps adding more chill Jedi to the council as time goes on."
"We're all of the belief, dear Ahsoka, that it doesn't matter if you're a terrible Jedi as long as you're a good person. We'd be honoured if you'd agree to join our ranks."
Cody was… reeling. It was a lot of information to get in one go. Rex looked like he'd just seen the chancellor dance naked through the GAR barracks. Cody really couldn't blame him. Tano, on the other hand, looked thoughtful.
"Yeah. Okay. If- if Master Plo is a terrible Jedi then… maybe I don't want to be a good one."
Kenobi smiled proudly and Skywalker squeezed her tightly again, then started to press kisses to her montrals, laughing when she protested and groaning when she elbowed him in the side to escape.
"Well, I'm glad that's out the way. Wasn't sure how to bring it up." Skywalker said as Tano rolled away to grab her drink. "And, now you know what an awful Jedi I am, you should come meet my wife."
Tano choked on her drink. As did Rex and Cody, because Skywalker had timed it so that they were all taking a sip when he dropped that particular bombshell, because he is the biggest of little shits.
"You have a wife?" screeched Tano when she had gotten her breath back. Cody's drink had come out through his nose, so he was still blinking through the pain.
"Yup, Padmé. I've told her all about you. She can't wait to meet you, properly I mean. We have some private apartments on the mid-levels, you should all come to dinner with Obi next time we're free."
Cody realised with mounting horror that by all, Skywalker was including him and Rex too.
"You're married? To Padmé?" repeated Tano.
"But you… you… that prince last week!" shrieked Rex. Which. What?
Kenobi just snorted
"Anakin and Padmé have a somewhat open marriage. They like to compare notes. It's horrifying."
"It's fun! It brings us closer together. And it makes the sex kriffing amazing."
"Ewwwwww," said Tano, while Skywalker laughed evilly, because he is definitely a secret smith lord.
The name Padmé rang a bell, and Cody suddenly remembered escorting a certain CC’s favourite senator, about a year ago, who had appeared to be on fairly familiar terms with Kenobi.
"Wait… Padmé. You don't mean Padmé Amidala? The senator?"
"That's the one." Skywalker agreed amicably.
"She's Fox's favourite senator! She's making him help her and some other senator's draft a clone rights bill!"
Skywalker grinned proudly.
"Yeah. She's great. You know Fox? I think she's going to try to adopt him once she figures out how Plo can adopt his Wolfpack. I don't think I'm ready to be a father."
"How do you know Commander Fox?" asked Kenobi.
"We're batch brothers. CC-2224 and CC-1010."
"Oh,” Skywalker said awkwardly, “I don't know many of your… clone numbers."
"Would you like it? If we learnt your numbers?" asked Kenobi, frowning and looking at Cody intently, as if his answer were important.
Rex answered, because Cody was still trying to piece together what is happening and why Kenobi's focus on him made him feel so… ugh.
"No thank you, sir. You… you know us by the names we give ourselves and that's much more important to us."
"Oh, thank Force" muttered Skywalker "I would've been so shit at doing that. All my droids have nicknames. I am so shit with numbers."
Suddenly Cody’s brain started working again.
"Wait. Wait. Did you say… General Plo Koon wants to adopt his Wolf Pack?"
"Yeah. Why?" asked Skywalker suspiciously and Cody fucking lost it.
"That fucking vain asshole. I can't believe he called it the Wolf Pack. Oh my fucking force I am going to give him so much shit for that."
Rex burst out laughing too.
Cody couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain to the confused Jedi what was so fucking funny.
He might be drunk.
Sue him.
A little while later Kenobi and Skywalker were back in the ocean, showing Tano how to Force bend the waves, so Cody grinned and retrieved his com from its place in his helmet, then settled back down into the sand to message his brothers.
Bitch Batch (NOT REX)
Baby Kote: I am shooketh
Baby Kote: SHOOKETH I TELL YOU
Foxy Fox: I am too busy to listen to you bitch about Skywalker again
Frog: and yet
Foxy Fox: shit u rite
right bac at ya: *sighs*what did they do this time
Blyyyyyy: fuck you guys I was sleeping
Greeeee: you mean pining
Blyyyyyy: fuck you
Frog: yearning
Foxy Fox: lusting
right bac at ya: making heart eyes at an extremely soiled poster of general secura?
Greeeee changed Blyyyyyy to LovestruckLoser
LovestruckLoser: FUCK YOU
Baby Kote: actually Skywalker is a fucking legend and I think I love him?
Baby Kote: man is a G
Baby Kote: I AM HABING A DAY OF REVELATION BOIS
right bac at ya: ehegeuekekw
right bac at ya: what the fuck is happening
Foxy Fox: what a nice way to learn the galaxy is collapsing
Foxy Fox: it's been nice knowing you
Foxy Fox: I await the sweet embrace of death
Baby Kote: noooooooo foxxxxxx
Baby Kote: fix don't die
Baby Kote: Id be sad
LovestruckLoser: I'm not mad about being woken up anymore
LovestruckLoser: this is golden
Woof: Fix
Woof: is baby kote
Woof: drunk
Baby Kote: THERE HE IS
Baby Kote: THERES THE VOD I CAME TO SEEEEEE
Greeeee: why are you drunk
Greeeee: aren't you on deployment
Greeeee: SOUNDS MIGHTY UNPROFESSIONAL MR PROFESSIONAL
Baby Kote: @Woof IM ABOUT TO RUIN YOUR LIDE
Baby Kote: lift
Baby Kote: life
Baby Kote: wait wait wait
Woof: I'm scared
right bac at ya: I'm here for it
Baby Kote added Rex to Bitch Batch (NOT REX)
Baby Kote changed the name of Rex to GET WREXD
Frog: what in the flesh hell is happening
Woof: hahahah
Woof: flesh hell
Baby Kote: get it Rex
Baby Kote: DO YOU GET IT
GET WREXD: force what is this
GET WREXD: why vod why
GET WREXD: how much moonshine have you had?
Baby Kote: NOT ENOUGH
Foxy Fox: what is happening
Baby Kote: boys
Baby Kote: BOYS
Baby Kote: WE ARE GETTING THE GOSS TODAY
LovestruckLoser: *sighs* why have you added the CT to our safe space
GET WREXD: fuck you bly you love me
Baby Kote: EXCISE YOU
Baby Kote: excuse
GET WREXD: honestly really offended I want here already
Baby Kote: firstly
Baby Kote: this has never been a safe space
Baby Kote: you are all.BULLYS
Baby Kote: secondly
Baby Kote: this is now the command chat
Baby Kote: thirdly
Baby Kote: bitch
Greeeee: welp
Frog: I guess this is happening.
Frog changed the name of Bitch Batch (NOT REX) to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Frog added Monnk to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Frog added Thire to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Frog added Grey to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Foxy Fox: um what about the rest of my boys
Foxy Fox added Stone to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Foxy Fox added Thorn to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Baby Kote added Neyo to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Baby Kote added Appo to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
GET WREXD added Keeli to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Baby Kote added Oddball to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Baby Kote added Jet to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Baby Kote: did we forget anyone?
Baby Kote: oh sheet
Baby Kote added Fil to I COMMAND YOU, COMMANDINGLY, TO COMMAND
Thire: what in the fresh fuck is this
Monnk: Im so excited
Neyo: fuck off I'm busy
GET WREXD: welcome to hell boys
GET WREXD: @Keeli you're welcome
Keeli: am I though?
right bac at ya: cody is drunk and is going to ruin wolffes life apparently
Appo: is there? not? a? fucking? war? on?
Baby Kote: OH YEAH
GET WREXD: wait
GET WREXD: cara was in the chat? and not me????
GET WREXD: okay fuck you guys
Baby Kote: Rex is drunk too tho don't shame me
GET WREXD: Rex is drunk too
GET WREXD: shame him anyway
Monnk: why are you drunk
Monnk: wait
Monnk: does it have anything to do with why General Fisto was laughing into his com and calling Kenobi and Skywalker lucky fuckers?
LovestruckLoser: ahsjdhwbeowvwhwi
GET WREXD: oh ye so the secret weapon we were searching for is actually a type of booze that some idiot clanker accidentally ordered thinking it was an actual secret weapon
GET WREXD: so kenobi and skywalker flew the fleet to a beach and gave us 30 hours leave and demanded we also bring out all the moonshine and now we're all getting tanked
GET WREXD: kenobi had to bully cody into drinking and now he is super chill and so drunk
Woof: you lucky fuckers
Thire: I hate you
Thire: so much
Greeeee: I FUCKING HATE YOU
LovestruckLoser: this is abuse
Foxy Fox: this is homophobia
LovestruckLoser: if we were real people this would be a hate crime
right bac at ya: drunk cody is my favourite cody
Frog: abekdbeoejwbskrbdbsjsbwne
Frog: what
Monnk: I'm so fucking jealous.
Monnk: Fisto is crying with laughter into his com, what the kriff happening over there?
Foxy Fox: Woof distracted us
Foxy Fox: @Baby Kote was going to ruin his life
Woof: fuck you fox
Baby Kote: ansheiedbeidbrj
Baby Kote: right
Baby Kote: so me and Rex are drinking with Kenobi and Skywalker and Tano
Baby Kote: and we are getting the HOT GOSS
Baby Kote: so many things
Foxy Fox: oh so you know about the terrible Jedi thing now
GET WREXD: ye
GET WREXD: how do you?
Foxy Fox: Amidala invited me round to dinner one time
Foxy Fox: it was an education
Foxy Fox: Jedi can drink
Frog: WHAT THE FUCK
Grey: SENATOR AMIDALA?????
Frog: YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH SENATOR AMIDALA WHO MAKES ALL THE SPEECHES ABOUT CLONE RIGHTS
Grey: SHE IS A FUCKING QUEEN
Foxy Fox: the perfect woman
Foxy Fox: her only flaw is her terrible taste in men
GET WREXD: lmao
GET WREXD: rip Amidala's secret hubby
LovestruckLoser: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
Greeeee: SHOOKETH
right bac at ya: damn
Foxy Fox: lol
Baby Kote: VOD STOP DISTRACTING ME I AM TRING TO RUUIN WOLFES LIFE
Baby Kote: so we are chilling
Baby Kote: getting all the hot goss
Baby Kote: and Skywalker just cas mentions
Baby Kote: super cas
Baby Kote: Plo Koon's wolfpack
Baby Kote: because apparently THIS ASSHOLE
Baby Kote: had named his elite squadron
Baby Kote: AFTER HIS OWN DAMN SELF
Frog: hahahsveusvwiajdbheje
LovestruckLoser: HAHAHAHEHEBIEMWBEOEBDHEBW
Woof: ffs
right bac at ya: WOLFFE YOU FUCKING VAIN ASSHOLE
Neyo: lol
Woof: listen
Woof: it wasn't my idea
Monnk: this is fucking wild
Monnk: every damn bit of it
Thire: what even is this chat
GET WREXD has sent an image
Cody opened the picture, it's of him, curled up on the sand with his comm in one hand, laughing his damn eyes out.
Frog: oooh shirtless Cody
Grey: Vod is ripped?????
Greeeee: UNPROFESSIONAL
Appo: IS THERE NOT A WAR ON? AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
Cody quickly snapped a picture of Rex in retaliation, lying on his side and grinning at his com, with one leg bent at the knee, clad in only his little tighty whiteys. Rex flipped him off as he sent it to the chat.
Thire: ooooooooh shirtless and pantsless Rex.
Foxy Fox: looking good vod'ika
Grey: FOX AND CODY ARE THE MOST PROFESSIONAL WHAT IS HAPPENING
Frog: that's a lie
Frog: Fox and Cody are the most idiot
LovestruckLoser: who has been lying to you vod'ika
Woof: that is a lot of naked vod there
Baby Kote: you have no fucking idea
This time, Cody sent a short video, starting with semi-naked Rex and then panning around the beach to reveal the semi-naked (and some totally naked) vode, laughing and drinking and sunbathing and just, relaxing for once. It was nice. The final shot of his short video was Kenobi, walking up the beach towards them, shirtless, tattooed and dripping with seawater. Cody hit the stop button when Kenobi smiled down at him and his cock twitched in his pants.
Unprofessional.
Woof: Huh
Woof: that's a lot of tattoos
Frog: I'd hit that
Thire: I'd let that hit me. Hard.
LovestruckLoser: I'm straight but
LovestruckLoser: damnnnnnnn
Appo: I don’t think anyone is that straight
"Who are you sending that too?" Kenobi sat himself down in the sand, so fucking close to Cody. He would only have to shift his outstretched legs an inch and they'd be touching. Kenobi leaned back and rested in his elbows and his abs tensed slightly, drops of seawater rolling down them. Cody forgot the question.
"Cody?"
Rex smothered a laugh into his traitorous hands.
"Oh uh, command chat. We're trashing Wolffe for the wolf squadron thing, and they wanted to know what we were doing."
"Command chat? Is Commander Fox on there?"
"Yeah," because, oh yeah, Fox was friends with this guy. Cody thought maybe he was too.
"May I?"
Cody handed his com over to Kenobi without thinking, all higher brain function gone. Rex made a strangled choking noise and it took Cody a moment to realise why.
Oh shit.
After a moment of tapping Kenobi handed his com back and Cody read what he had written.
Baby Kote: Kenobi here.
Baby Kote: you flatter me gentlemen.
Frog: agsjdrbeiwbwkbeisksbfjs
LovestruckLoser: I AM SO SORRY
Baby Kote: don't worry about it
Baby Kote: I'm just on here to tell @Foxy Fox to remember to eat properly and get some sleep <3
Foxy Fox: sir this is an outrage
Foxy Fox: you can't bully me into being healthy if you aren't on planet
Foxy Fox: it's against the law
Foxy Fox: I can arrest you
Greeeee: what the FUCK
Baby Kote: <3
Baby Kote: also tell Vos he is a whore. Kenobi out.
Woof: WHAT
Monnk: wait. Vos?
Thire: what is happening.
Frog: who is Vos?
Foxy Fox: he's no one
Foxy Fox: I've never heard of him
LovestruckLoser: could be General Vos? He's Aayla's old master.
Foxy Fox: I don't know what Kenobi is talking about
Foxy Fox: he's mentally unstable ask Codheuwbsifiehdndo
GET WREXD: ummmmmmmm
Greeeeee: @Foxy Fox you alright vod?
LovestruckLoser: @Foxy Fox ???????
Foxy Fox: Jedi Master Quinlan Vos here
Woof: WHAT THE FUCK
Foxy Fox: @Baby Kote tell Kenobi it takes a whore to know a whore
Foxy Fox: and then call him a whore.
Foxy Fox: it's an inside joke, he'll get it.
Keeli: what is HAPPENING
Baby Kote: please don't make me call my general a whore
Foxy Fox: fine but rude.
Foxy Fox: now if you excuse me gentleman
Foxy Fox: my mans promised to pound me through the mattress
Foxy Fox: so I shall be taking my mans and leaving.
Foxy Fox: VOS OUT.
GET WREXD: WHAT
Foxy Fox: and apparently I have to go do that now.
Thorn: oh good I don't have to pretend not to know about that anymore
Thire: FOX YOU THROW VOS INTO JAIL LIKE ONCE EVERY TENDAY
Foxy Fox: and?
Stone: knew you weren't just 'doing psychometry'
Grey: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Foxy Fox: @Stone shut your mouth
Stone: make me
Foxy Fox: ...
Foxy Fox: what a shame I have to go get laid
Foxy Fox: Fox out
LovestruckLoser: WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THIS DAY
LovestruckLoser: the force has forsaken us
LovestruckLoser: Cody is drunk and said he loves Skywalker
LovestruckLoser: Fox is shagging? A? Jedi?
LovestruckLoser: what is happening
Baby Kote: @Foxy Fox
Greeeee: @Foxy Fox
Woof: @Foxy Fox
Grey: @Foxy Fox
right bac at ya: @Foxy Fox
GET WREXD: he really gone and done it
Neyo: is doing it
Neyo: hehhehehe
Kenobi laughed from where he was reading the chat over Cody's shoulder, his breath ghosting over Cody's ear.
"You knew about it?"
"I'd guessed, but Quin can be pretty discreet when it's someone he actually cares about."
"What're you looking at?" Skywalker asked. He and Tano had also returned from the ocean to sit back down in their little camp. Cody hadn't even noticed. Rex was grinning at him, the fucking traitor.
"Command group chat," answered Rex easily, "General Kenobi used Cody's com to tell Fox to get some sleep."
"Fair. If Obi-Wan Kenobi thinks you drink too much kaf you know you're too far gone."
"Anakin. Shut up. Rex. Please call me Obi-Wan, we're not on duty. You as well, Cody."
Something suspiciously like happiness swelled in Cody's throat.
"Call him Obes Kenobes," whispered Skywalker, loudly, making Tano and Rex laugh and Obi-Wan scowl.
Obi-Wan.
Heh.
"Wait. Clone command chat. Does that mean Commander Bly is on there?"
"Yeah..." answered Rex, voice wary.
"Gimme gimme gimme!" Skywalker held his hand out for Rex's com, who handed it over after a moment's hesitation. Tano read the screen over his shoulder, while Skywalker quickly scrolled up the message board. He grinned. Cody decided he was too drunk and happy to be scared.
"Is Commander Bly ‘Lovestruck Loser’, by any chance?" Skywalker sounded gleeful.
"Yup" said Cody, deciding to let this play out.
GET WREXD: hello boys.
GET WREXD: it me
GET WREXD: general skywalker
GET WREXD: here with a public service announcement
Frog: oh no
Woof: I hate this already
GET WREXD: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WILL @LovestruckLoser PLEASE JUST SHAG AAYLA SECURA ALREADY
LovestruckLoser: absheorbkaidbwjjebd
Monnk: lol
GET WREXD: I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER HOLO CALL WHERE ALL SHE WILL TALK ABOUT IS YOUR ASS AND THIGHS I WILL COME OVER THERE AND DO IT MYSELF
GET WREXD: i mean you not her.
GET WREXD: your ass does sound fine and aayla is basically my big sister
GET WREXD: please, im begging you, tap that
GET WREXD: i see you, i see your user name
GET WREXD: she is so into it i promise
LovestruckLoser: …really sir?
GET WREXD: really.
GET WREXD: on that note, if you hurt her, i will take my mechanical arm and shove it so far down your throat that i can castrate you from the inside.
GET WREXD: :)
LovestruckLoser: noted sir.
Woof: mechanical arm?
GET WREXD: lol ye
GET WREXD: count dicku chopped my left arm off at the beginning of the war because i bit him when i was nine :(
GET WREXD: rip my arm
Thire: fuckin wild
GET WREXD: yeah right?
GET WREXD: i have a few more comments before i give rex his com back
GET WREXD: lol woof pack
Baby Kote: WOOF PACK
GET WREXD: lol baby kote
Woof: GET WRECKED
GET WREXD: also i fuckin knew it vos is such a whore @Foxy Fox why would you do this to me i thought you were my friend
GET WREXD: skywalker out
Monnk: FUCKIN WILD.
Baby Kote: and on that note boys, I need to drunk more
Baby Kote: drink more
Greeeee: you absolutely do not
Baby Kote: CODY OUT
Kenobi, Obi-Wan, he was allowed to call him Obi-Wan now, leaned his forehead on Cody's shoulder as he laughed. Skywalker wandered off to find himself more booze while Tano dragged Rex off to do… something. Cody couldn't really focus on anything but the sound of Obi-Wan's laughter. Eventually the man stopped and turned to him, a lazy smile on his face and mirth in his eyes.
"Enjoying yourself Cody?"
"Yeah. Thanks for this. The men needed it."
"You didn't?"
Cody hummed noncommittally.
"Maybe" he admitted cautiously.
Obi-Wan had stopped laughing but his head was still resting on Cody's shoulder. Cody was really glad he decided to wear more than just his underpants.
"But also… for everything."
Obi-Wan looked at him carefully. This close, Cody could make out every individual eyelash.
"Whatever do you mean?" he asked, as if the little shit didn't know.
"I mean. It's embarrassing. But I finally figured out why all your plans seem to involve you and Skywalker soaking up so much blaster fire."
"Cody-"
"And I just want to say thanks. But I still hate it and you shouldn't do it anymore."
Obi-Wan relaxed back into his shoulder. They both watched as Tano, whilst on Rex's shoulders, managed to shove Boil off Waxer and they both went tumbling into the sand.
"You know, I didn't even know Anakin was a slave when we first met. My master never bothered to tell me. I only found out when he bit Dooku and I asked him why, and he told me what happened to young slave boys like him on Tatooine." Obi-Wan took a long pull of his drink and lapsed briefly into silence. "I try to help Padmé and Fox with their clone rights bill thing, but I'm not as good at paperwork and politics as those two. I'm not stupid though. You're slaves. You're living breathing creatures with thoughts and feelings and personalities. And you don't have a choice. Not a single one of you. The Senate talk about the vod as if they are droids. Devoid of personality and emotion. It's banthashit is what it is. They even take your fucking childhood, at least I managed to give Anakin that, for a short amount of time. My point is, as long as there are people on that battlefield who didn't absolutely choose to be there, then I will draw in as much blaster fire as I possibly can. And so will Anakin. Every shot meant for us is one less for the vode."
Cody was crying. This fucking Jedi.
"You don't have to soak up the ones meant for me sir," he said, his voice wet and shaky.
"Oh Cody. Those are the ones I try and soak up the most."
Cody hunched his shoulders and tried to hide his face a bit. He really hoped none of the battalion could see him, drunk and crying in the middle of the afternoon. Kenobi leaned more firmly into his side and suddenly, Skywalker was on the other, flesh hand around his shoulder and mechanical one pressing another drink into his hand.
"Thank you. Both of you. So kriffing much. You don't know how much it means to us, that you treat us like people. Real people." He’s not used to this… this kindness. None of the vode are.
"You are real people," said Skywalker firmly. Cody believed him, believed that he believed it.
"And thanks… Thanks for looking after Fox. I worry about him so much. He's supposed to be safe on Coruscant but he's, he's just not. The kriffing Chancellor of the Republic let's strangers feel him up like he's some new speeder model. And worse, when the Senate is voting on whether to order more of us he's put on display like he's fucking livestock. I hate it so much and I can't kriffing protect him."
"We know," said Obi-Wan sadly.
"We've got contingencies for him. A way to get him out if he's ever in serious danger. And Vos is helping him eat and sleep and stuff, more than we ever managed. We're doing our best to keep him safe." Skywalker rubbed Cody's back as he talked.
Cody pressed his forehead into his knees and tried to breathe through it. Why couldn't he be a happy drunk, like Ponds or Gree? The two men either side of him, his first ever natborn friends he thought hysterically, leaned into his sides. A comfortable weight, holding him there in the moment, where the fleet are happy and laughing and safe. Eventually Cody got his breathing under control enough to speak.
"I still think you're two banthashit crazy motherfuckers."
Obi-Wan and Anakin pressed even further into his sides as they laughed.
Cody relaxed by the fire, happily drunk and warm, and maybe a little something else. Rex and Ahsoka were still playing games with the men on the beach. Obi-Wan and Anakin were fishing.
Not just any fishing.
Spear fishing.
Where Anakin had produced the spear from Cody didn’t not want to know. Cody did, however, want to know where Obi-Wan was hiding the knife the length of his forearm. Neither of them had gone back to either of the ships before producing the weapons.
They were perched on a long finger of rock that snaked out into the sea. Vode had been diving off it all day. Now though, it was only the two generals on the rock. Anakin was crouched, spear clutched in his metal hand, Obi-Wan leaned over him, fingers resting lightly on his ex-padawans shoulder and knife tucked into his belt.
They looked like a wet dream, all toned abs, corded muscles and absolutely covered in tattoos. Skywalker’s tanned skin in contrast to Kenobi's pale flesh. Cody couldn't really describe the feeling in his gut, the one that squirmed when Kenobi pressed the flat of his palm into Skywalker's shoulder as they both tensed, but it feels a lot like jealousy. Whatever. He'd already cried once today, he'd have to get over the fact that he wanted to be the only one to touch Kenobi.
Oh.
Cody wanted to be the only one who gets to touch Kenobi.
That explained a few things.
Cody decided he was drunk enough to follow the train of thought. He wanted Kenobi… Obi-Wan. That's… it wasn’t great but it's okay. He wanted to bang his superior officer like a screen door in a hurricane. Maybe it wasn’t okay. At this point, Cody was pretty sure that Kenobi and Skywalker weren't in fact sleeping together after the day's revelations, so no need to be jealous. They were brothers, vode. Although, apparently Cody had thought they were sleeping together before that day, which is why Skywalker irritated him so much, that and the flying.
But Cody had decided he quite liked Skywalker today, lunatic or otherwise. Nothing to do with whether or not he was sleeping with Kenobi, just a happy coincidence.
Obi-Wan, he reminded himself.
What to do about it then.
He could do nothing. That would be the correct, professional thing to do. But Cody had had enough of being correct and professional. As had, he suspected, his General. Cody wondered how easy it would be, to pull Obi-Wan into the long grass and kiss him breathless. Press him into the ground and bite and show him that Cody is quite capable of looking after himself thank you very much.
Cody adjusted himself.
He was fairly confident his attraction might be reciprocated. Obi-Wan had been touching him, looking at him, smiling at him all day. But if Cody was to make an offer and assuming he is reading this correctly, it was accepted, what then? They share one night of passion and then go their separate ways? Cody didn't want that. Cody wanted to be the only person who got to touch Obi-Wan like that. Cody wanted to curl up beside him every night. Cody wanted to hold him and kiss him and sit in his quarters doing paperwork with Obi-Wan's feet resting in his lap.
Oh kark.
Cody wasn't just attracted to his general.
Cody was in love with his general.
This is definitely not okay.
He gazed out to where the two Jedi were still crouched on the edge of the rock. They leaned forward, almost imperceptibly, then Skywalker dived into the water and Obi-Wan ran back along the rock towards the beach. He looked beautiful as he leapt from crag to crag, his feet still bare. Then Obi-Wan waded into the surf as Skywalker surfaced, a fish almost bigger than he was on the end of his spear. Obi-Wan carefully slid his knife between it's gills and with a careful twist the fish stopped struggling. The watching troopers cheered. After a short discussion with Skywalker, Obi-Wan hefted the fish across his shoulders and started making his way up the beach towards Cody and the fire he's supposed to have been tending. The muscles in his arms and chest flexed as he shifted his grip on the fish.
Cody wanted to lick him.
Obi-Wan dropped the fish into the sand and set about taking its head off. With a few deft cuts he had it removed, and held it up into the air.
"Ahsoka! Come eat!"
Tano darted up the beach from where she was acting as referee for some complicated ball game the ARC troopers appear to have invented. Rex followed her at a more relaxed pace.
He's such a good big brother, thought Cody fondly.
Then Tano took the head from Obi-Wan and just… fucking… took a chunk out of it.
With her teeth.
Cody has just realised why they are so pointy.
"Togruta eat raw meat. She can't get enough nutrients from cooked stuff," Rex said in answer to his horrified expression, smirking slightly.
"Huh" said Cody, as Tano tore another chunk of flesh out of the fish head. She swallowed, then looked at him, amused.
"Humans are so weird about it. It's just the same thing you guys eat without having all the good stuff cooked out of it," she said, tearing off a strip with her fingers and dropping into her mouth.
"Well dearest, your stomach acid is much stronger than ours. If we ate like you do we'd probably spend all our time in the fresher," Obi-Wan said genially, from where he was butchering the giant fish.
"Weak," said Tano, and Rex laughed before holding out a hand for Cody to grasp.
"C'mon ori'vod, let's go find a way to cook this thing "
Cody let Rex haul him to his feet, he almost fell right back on his ass but Rex grabbed him by the shoulder. He was maybe a little more drunk than he'd thought he was. He and Rex wandered down the beach and managed to scavenge a few branches of driftwood that have washed up, smiling at the men they pass, enjoying each other's company in silence. It's the most relaxed Cody has felt since he was a child, curled up in Jango's arms listening to stories of Mandalore. It's hard, because he loves and hates the man, arguably his father, in equal measure. But after a few drinks it's a little easier to draw a distinction between the Jango Fett who kissed his forehead and held his brothers’ hands and named him glory, and the Jango Fett who abandoned them to this life.
Not abandoned. Died. But Jango had agreed to a life of slavery for them before Cody was even a bundle of cells in a test tube, so same difference.
His thoughts turned in slightly a more pleasant direction as he and Rex ambled back to the camp sedately. He was in love with his General. Had been for a while if he was being honest with himself. The sexual attraction is also new development, at least the knowledge of it, and that development in turn was the trigger for Cody's little epiphany. Cody was pretty sure that the sexual attraction was returned, which was a positive thing. The romantic attraction… he truly had no idea. Possibly. Obi-Wan didn’t seem like the type to shag his subordinates just for the hell of it.
Skywalker had caught another few of the giant fish while Cody and Rex were scavenging for sticks. Cody watched as he dragged one out of the surf, straddled it and slid the spear between its gills, killing it with the same twisting motion that Cody saw Obi-Wan use earlier. Skywalker passed it off to the troopers, and returned to his crouched position on the jutting out rock, as vode took the fish and started butchering it, passing out chunks for people to cook. The beach was lit up with fires and the sky was deep red.
It won't last, Cody thought, and sighed.
Rex looked at him knowingly but pressed Cody's shoulder to urge him back towards their own campfire. Kenobi had removed the innards of their fish, apparently for Tano to eat judging by the smears of blood on her face and hands. Now the fish was neatly divided into two long massive fillets, which Cody and Rex impaled on their sticks and balance across the fire.
Cody sat down next to Obi-Wan while Rex went to join Ahsoka, accepting the sliver of raw fish she holds out with trepidation. Rex’s face twisted with displeasure as he popped it in his mouth, much to Tano's delight. Cody carefully angled himself so that his and Obi-Wan’s shoulders were almost touching, just testing the waters. Obi-Wan shifted himself so that he was leaning into Cody's shoulder. Cody really wanted to kiss him. Obi-Wan held out his cup and Cody took it, taking a long sip. Obi-Wan watched him intently.
This was probably a terrible idea.
Cody was going to do it anyway.
Just then, Skywalker walked back up to the camp. His eyes caught Cody and Obi-Wan and he grinned knowingly before going to sit with Rex and Tano, where he took the half eaten fish head and just… dug in.
Obi-Wan sighed.
"I thought you said humans would get sick if we ate that much raw meat?" Cody said, flinching as Skywalker tore a chunk free with his teeth. Rex was watching him with an expression of mild horror.
"Well, usually yes, however as a child on Tatooine, Anakin had to eat whatever he could get his hands on," Obi-Wan said to him quietly, resting his chin on Cody's shoulder to whisper into his ear. "His digestive system is… impressive. He's never been a fussy eater. Honestly there are times when I'd prefer it if he were fussier."
"The insect thing?" Cody asked, as if he couldn't just turn his head an inch and kiss Obi-Wan senseless.
"The insect thing," agreed Obi-Wan, "and some small lizards."
Cody snorts in amusement.
In for a credit chip, in for a datapad.
"What is your relationship to him? He calls you Master but he drapes himself all over you. I don't really understand it." Cody said.
Obi-Wan snuggled down into his shoulder and Cody’s stomach did happy little somersaults.
"I don't know how to explain it. Master means something a bit different in the context of the Jedi. It's more… teacher, or accomplished force user, with the padawan being a student."
"But it's more than that?" Cody guessed.
"Yes. When you become a Master, you are solely responsible for your Padawans wellbeing. Usually, your Padawan is with you every moment of every day, they move into your quarters and you are expected to take them with you wherever they go so that they may learn the ways of the jedi. Every aspect of their education falls to you, and you become their… their whole world, for a time. To aid in the teaching a force bond is created. A mental link between student and teacher, so that the student is protected from any adverse effects that might be suffered while they explore their connection to the force."
"Sounds… a lot."
"It is. I became Anakin's master when he was nine and I was twenty. We were both unusually young for a Master-Padawan type bond. Technically I wasn't even a knight yet. On top of that… well. Usually a force bond is dissolved by a temple healer when the padawan ascends to knighthood but… my master was killed. The abrupt loss of the bond was painful. As was losing my master, the man who I saw as my father. Anakin had just left his mother and then the man who promised to turn him into a Jedi was killed by the first sith to exist in over a hundred years. We were… we were both a mess."
Cody shifted so his arm was wrapped around Obi-Wan. It felt right, in that moment. Obi-Wan rested a little more of his weight against Cody's side.
"I wouldn't… I wouldn't say I'm a father to Anakin in the same way that my master was a father to me. Not totally. He's my little brother. We um… we never dissolved our force bond when he was knighted. It helps when we're apart, I always know he's still alive."
Obi-Wan sounded really sad, so Cody squeezed him and pressed a thumb into his waist, and rested his head against Obi-Wans.
"He's your… vod’ika," murmured Cody.
Obi-Wan laughed.
"I should've known that a vod would understand better than anyone."
They lapsed into comfortable silence, Obi-Wan still tucked into Cody's side. Suddenly, Cody was painfully aware of his General, of every point where their bodies touched, of the rasp of Obi-Wan's beard across the top of his chest as the man shifted against him to get comfortable. His hair smelt frankly amazing, of sea salt and sweat and blaster fire. Cody was just drunk enough that he pressed his face into it, inhaling deeply. He pressed a kiss to the crown of Obi-Wan's head, resting his head there for a moment. It felt right.
Obi-Wan twisted and for a brief moment Cody was afraid he's going to pull away, but then the soft press of lips against his own made the rest of the galaxy fade into irrelevance. It was slow and sweet and gorgeous, and Obi-Wan's beard scraped against his cheeks and suddenly Cody wants more so he flicks his tongue into Obi-Wan's mouth, just a little. Obi-Wan opened his lips and tilted his head back further with a barely concealed moan of pleasure. Just as Cody was about to throw caution completely to the wind and press Obi-Wan into the sand and devour him, they were interrupted.
"Okay guys I think dinner is oh my gods Cody and Obi-Wan are making out."
Skywalker has such bad fucking timing.
Cody didn't realise he'd said it out loud, until Skywalker made an offended squawk and Obi-Wan started laughing into his chest.