kath_kit



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    6/6
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    13 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m not going to ask Hayden if he can fuck me just so I can be a normal person.”

    “So you want to get fucked.”

    “Obviously, I do, don’t I?” Shane mutters, glancing down at his own crotch. He feels Rozanov do the same, so his face burns and his hand takes on a life of its own, punching the man in the chest. “Stop that.”

    “Hey, I just want to help,” Rozanov replies. Suddenly, Shane notices how close they are and forces himself to take a step back. “It’s not that complicated. You just want to fuck, so do it. Practice. Easy.”

    He has to learn from the best, right? Shane doesn't do things halfway. If he's going to lose his virginity, he's going to learn to do it with all the necessary nuances that Rozanov's promiscuous experience can offer.

    "Okay," Shane exhales, and immediately blushes. "I'll do it. Are you free tomorrow at seven?"

    Language:
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    5/5
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    05 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    04 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    [a voice message sent May 10th, 1991, received by a Panasonic answering machine]

    David: Hey, Mom. The baby has been ejected.

    Yuna: David, no, that’s—no. Give me that. Hey, Mrs. Holl—

    David: She’s your mom too, you know—

    Yuna: —just letting you know that we have a baby! Seven pounds and seven ounces, ten fingers and ten toes. His name is Shane, and he’s excited to meet you… at some point. When we get out of the hospital. We love you, we hope to see you soon, and—

    David: —and bring peach cobbler when you visit!

    Yuna: … and bring peach cobbler when you visit. Bye.

    [Or, Shane is the best Mother's Day gift that Yuna could ever ask for. Literally. Told through a thirty-five-year-long series of letters, postcards, voice messages, and Yuna feeling so much love for her son(s) she could just burst.]

    Series
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    1/1
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    27 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit on stools in the Centaurs’ locker room. They are wearing each other’s jerseys, and Ilya has a large pink heart painted on his left cheek. Shane has a smattering of silver sparkly heart freckles across his nose.]

    Harris: (off camera) Okay, boys. As the Centaurs’ resident power couple, we’re going to ask you twenty couples questions in honor of our Valentine’s Day game coming up!

    Ilya: Oh, good. Shane loves questions. He has a million for every possible situation. Are you sure you don’t want him to lead the interview? 

    Shane: Fuck you, Rozanov.

    Harris: Glad we got that out of the way early.

     

     

    Language:
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    24 May 2026