itsveryqueerlyimplied



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    Shane's first mistake was going to talk to Ilya Rozanov before their game. His second was immediately, stupidly, meeting the eyes of Rozanov’s very much dead mother hovering at his side.

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    09 Jul 2026

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    NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life
    This is officially the weirdest day in All Of Hockey

    Ily-a @ilyahoezenov
    So we’re agreed that they’re not actually getting married right. Like something else is going on
    Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
    Well obviously Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov aren’t actually getting married, they’ve obviously been fucking with us all day

    Or:
    What if Shane and Ilya decide to explode the internet by letting their friends post about their wedding, before anyone knows they're together. A chaotic way to come out if they could do it on their own terms.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    "My point is that Rozanov, like, talks Shane down before he even realizes he’s panicking. He makes him snacks with fucking buckwheat in them and he even gets Shane to take a day off once in a blue moon. He’s an asshole,” Hayden says. “He’s obnoxious and rude and frankly, unpleasant. I’m not saying he’s a good guy. But he is a good husband.”

    Or: 5 times Hayden defends Ilya behind his back, +1 time he defends Ilya in front of him

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    06 Jul 2026