eloiserummaging



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya convinces Shane to go to the club with him. While wearing a plug.

    This goes about how you’d expect.

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    08 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Okay,” Ilya says. His thumb restarts its soothing. “Then say it all wrong, and I will understand anyway.”

    So Shane tries, reaches out and hopes for Ilya to reach back. “My first year with the Metros wasn’t… great. I mean, I played great hockey, but those first few years, the room wasn’t…"

    “Room wasn’t great,” Ilya repeats. “What does this mean? Not great like calling you slurs? Not great like hazing?”

    Shane stiffens, then forcibly relaxes. He tries to make his voice light, “A little, uh. A little of both, I guess.”

    OR

    Shane's metric for a normal locker room is skewed. Ilya (and the Centaurs) are happy to help.

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    08 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    08 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane.” Ilya takes Shane’s head in his hands, squeezes his cheeks so that Shane looks puffy, absurd. Beloved. “I am saying that to me, even though you are retired, you will always be No. 1 hockey player. Fuck Wayne Gretzky.”

    That’s what does it, as Ilya knew it would. Shane rears back, spluttering, outraged, trying not to laugh.

    “Oh, I have committed blasphemy now. They will take back my citizenship, big crime, very sad.”

    Shane smoothes his hands along Ilya’s calves, rests his fingertips on Ilya’s ankles. “Fuck Wayne Gretzky,” he says. He looks like he can’t believe what he’s saying. Ilya wonders, distantly, if he can get it on tape to play back to himself when things feel particularly bleak. “We can live in exile together. I don’t care. You’re my, my best, my second best hockey player forever too.”

    --

    Shane decides he has to retire. Ilya, of course, will go with him.

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    07 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Seeing you smile like that, it makes me want to give you all of this,” he called out, making a sweeping gesture across the ice.

    Shane turned back to look at him, eyes bright, and laughed. “Canadian Tire Centre? I know you’re rich, Rozanov, but an entire arena is a pretty big real estate investment.”

    Ilya pushed off, skating to a stop in front of him, knowing his expression had morphed into something serious. “Hockey, Hollander. It should have been yours.”

    Or, everything that happens when your dreams don’t come true.

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    07 Jun 2026