captain_weinersoldier



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  1. Public Bookmark 44

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    Vox had always hated getting her period. She figured the one good thing about having died and gone to Hell would be that at least she wouldn't have to deal with that, but no. Whoever it was – if it was a who – that had given her a television in place of her gorgeous face had decided that periods were just something that she got to keep. A little memento from her living years.

    Yippee.

    Well – it was Hell. It was supposed to suck. The main problem was they weren't even predictable, once a month visitors. And the worst problem of all was that she was horny as shit on her period, always had been – and who the Hell would be up for fucking her when she was on the rag?

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    Language:
    English
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    5,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    30
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    389
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    06 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Alastor has forever been used to a certain nuisance of an alpha circling him at a distance like a shark every time he goes into heat—or perhaps like a lonely puppy, begging for scraps. But the man reeks of insecurity and alpha pheromones, and Alastor has no patience nor need for alphas. It has been a long time since he has cared for such overbearing company.

    Until, as it turns out, he learns that Vox is not an alpha at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,313
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    187
    Kudos:
    2,058
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    344
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    09 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 21

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    Alastor has spent his entire afterlife driving people out of his house. He just wasn't prepared for what a challenge the new owner will be.

    Language:
    English
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    1,757
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    137
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    21
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    04 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 50

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    “You’ve not done this before, right? Stabbed anyone, I mean.” Mr. Whittman asked a little shakily—the question already sounding answered for Alastor.

    “I have. But haven’t you? That work you made on the man’s gut wasn’t exactly good, but it wasn’t amateur enough to be your first time doing it. It’s funny how easily things work out—two friends, two murderers, two fellows out for lunch. It’s all the same, isn’t it?”

    Vincent inhaled a shaky breath and nodded, finally standing up from atop the body. He looked to Alastor—looked away—then looked back at him again. “I…I guess it is.”

    ---

    Alastor abruptly cancels an evening at the bar with Vincent to instead have a meeting with another man. Predictably, Vincent doesn't quite like being dissappointed, so he intends to do something about it.

    ...by breaking and entering. Obviously.

    ---

    What happens when 52 of my readers vote for me to write a fic?
    You get this.

    Language:
    English
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    15,676
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    2/2
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    287
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    50
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    27 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    During a gala hosted for local media representatives, Vincent Whittman meets the dazzling radio star and toast of New Orleans, Alastor Dubois.

    Although he grapples with his own guilt-ridden conscience and the murderous secret behind his success, Vincent begins to fall for the mysterious man. But his obsession with the radio star leads him to find out a horrifying truth about Alastor, which could either bind them together forever or destroy their relationship.

    _____

    My take on the human, murder media, murder husbands AU we all want

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    189,094
    Chapters:
    22/?
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    11 Mar 2026