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If I Have To Choose, I Choose Myself by Katiebsteggs
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
21 Jul 2026
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Summary
When Evan Buckley left the House of his Captain Bobby Nash that evening, he had a decision to make. Would he lie down and let them walk all over him, or would he fight?
Buck was never known to stand down and be a passive observer, so why should he start now? He has to find out why he is not allowed to work, why everyone ignores his doctors and all legal proceedings. Why has his Captain that much say in his life and in his career? Something is wrong there, so Buck decides to fight.
What will it cost him? What will he gain from it?Follow Buck through a lesson of his past and attempts at a new and better future. See why knowing your own worth is what saves Buck.
I found this work that hadn't been updated since 2024, and the author's first language wasn't English. I decided that the story was way to good to be left unfinished, and I wanted to be able to enjoy it without the inner grammar grimlin screaming, so I fixed it and I'm posting it so I have an easier time reading it.
Bookmarked by Sniffles99
21 Jul 2026
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Summary
After the lawsuit Buck leaves. Two years of no news May may have found him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 108,790
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 222
- Kudos:
- 1,445
- Bookmarks:
- 540
- Hits:
- 65,950
Bookmarked by Sniffles99
25 Jun 2026
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Eyes darting around each ‘face’ in the parking lot, sweat suddenly sticking uncomfortably to his body, breath quickening, legs speeding up, even though his knee is aching from the sudden random strain, even if it’s begging him to slow down. He doesn’t know what’s going on but he’d rather not stick around and find out. Everything in Buck is telling him to run. Run fast and far and don’t look back.
Once Buck reaches his jeep, he immediately gets inside and locks all his doors as if speedrunning a Guinness World Record. Then, he finally takes a deep breath, the eyes are out there, but they can’t reach him from inside. He can finally take a deep, very oxygenated breath—just to have his breath stuck in his throat again. No. Who is that? What is that?
Looking back at him in the vanity mirror, staring into him, mocking him…was him, but it wasn’t. Everything was wrong. Buck couldn’t recognize the face in front of him just knows that it’s copying his movements, even the timing in his blinks, trying to be him, but not quite getting it right.
OR: During the grocery store fight Buck develops prosopagnosia (face blindness). How will he survive not recognizing anyone and with his family hating him?
Bookmarked by Sniffles99
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
While Buck isn't allowed to speak to anyone because of the lawsuit, he suffers a personal tragedy that leaves him with children to care for. He doesn't tell anyone since they are not supposed to be talking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,632
- Chapters:
- 20/?
- Comments:
- 179
- Kudos:
- 1,614
- Bookmarks:
- 618
- Hits:
- 54,019
Bookmarked by Sniffles99
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Buck’s first shift back at the 118 after the lawsuit was nothing like he’d imagined and Buck wasn't sure how he'd bridge the sudden distance between him and his team. But the disappointment of their brush-off was eclipsed when he came home from that first shift to find an old flame waiting on his doorstep with a choice that was really no choice at all. Buck had no idea how to be a dad, especially without the help of the people he'd come to think of as his family, but he was determined to figure it out; and maybe figure out some things about himself along the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,809
- Chapters:
- 12/22
- Comments:
- 548
- Kudos:
- 1,390
- Bookmarks:
- 502
- Hits:
- 39,014
Bookmarked by Sniffles99
16 May 2026
