Sakurane



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    “We do not say anything about the Hollander situation,” LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he’s already resigned to what he knows is going to happen.

    After all, Roz gets extremely mad whenever it’s brought up. Not that Cliff can blame him, he’s pretty sure that Roz liked Hollander before this (wouldn’t chirp him half as much if he didn’t). Finding out that he’s such a bastard must sting.

    Not to mention that Roz does not mess around with people that disrespect girls. Or women. Or kids. Or dogs. Or the elderly (excluding Scott Hunter). Or really anyone, if it’s for petty stupid reasons.

    “Of course,” Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone.

    It’s apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, “Roz?”

    “Just one second,” he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. “Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She’s very stubborn.”

     

    Or. My take on the 'their text leak and now everybody thinks that Shane is an abusive bastard' premise. Featuring Ilya giving a presser, Marly realizing in real time who 'Jane' is and the internet reacting to the craziness.

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    19 Jul 2026

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    caoilfhionn✨@hollanderbackgirl
    Replying to @shanehollandersthong
    bro if I had a nickel every time shane hollander was cancelled online because his weird ass texts with lily were leaked i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

    Shane Hollander likes to think he keeps his image pretty clean. Social media loves finding reasons to disagree.

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    12 Jul 2026

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    On a Monday morning in October, Shane Hollander drops a mug of coffee and doesn't get back up.

    Ilya is upstairs with the twins. He hears the sound — not the mug breaking, but the body. The thud of the person who holds it all upright. He puts the children down. He goes to the kitchen. Shane is on the floor, looking at Ilya, trying to say everything, but nothing comes out.

    Stroke. Left hemisphere. Thirty-eight years old.

    Shane spends six weeks in a hospital bed learning how to say his children's names. Ilya spends six weeks splitting himself into three people — the husband in the chair, the father in the nursery, the hockey player on the ice

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    09 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

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    07 Jul 2026