Patric1a
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That was the other thing: when Keiji had said he wanted to make his way home, Bokuto had agreed—as if it didn’t matter where they went. He hadn’t said "we should look for a community" or "there’s probably nothing there anymore".
He’d just asked which way.
((the bokuaka zombie au literally no one asked for))
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,777
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 674
- Kudos:
- 5,622
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- 1,461
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- 92,835
Bookmarked by Patric1a
22 May 2026
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Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of cjo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,370
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 735
- Kudos:
- 25,701
- Bookmarks:
- 5,359
- Hits:
- 264,056
Bookmarked by Patric1a
11 Mar 2026
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Draco has worked hard to gain a reputation as an unbiased reporter for the Prophet.
He never imagined this would lead to Harry Potter offering him a job, or how much accepting said job would change his life.
*
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"I've had an idea," Harry said, "You were there that night, at Greengrass Moor, when I …" he trailed off looking embarrassed."When you told everyone they ought to be fucking grateful and leave you the hell alone? Yes, it's one of my fondest memories." Draco wasn't trying to annoy, it was true, and the image of Potter swearing at Draco's idiot, fame-whore of a boss was something that never failed to make him smile.
Harry flushed, "I didn't mean it, not in the way it came out, and certainly I didn't mean to shout it at the editor of the Prophet."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 119,675
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 622
- Kudos:
- 7,958
- Bookmarks:
- 2,202
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- 168,921
Bookmarked by Patric1a
19 Jul 2025
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A Quick Summary of the Last Decade:
DRACO MALFOY - AUROR (technically)
2003- Achieved Auror Qualification.
Note: Slight delay in training start date due to my own imprisonment, and dying father, general inconvenience.
2004 - Potions Specialist Certification, top marks.
Note: Cheers Severus, you taught me well
2005- Discovered loathing of field work.
Note: Bad guys thought I was on their side too often
2006 - Auror Office, cyphers and intelligence desk.
Note: Much better, useful contribution to society, repayment of past debts etc, no nightmare stake-outs or duelling friendly/related bad guys
2013 (The Unpleasant Present) - Sent undercover as a Professor at Hogwarts.
Note: minding my own business, life ruined by dreadful turn of events.
Note: Potter is DADA professor, a job he took out of the blue after I graduated from Auror training. His departure happened to coincide with a momentary lapse in judgement when we may have kissed, drunkenly … (and heatedly) against a wall. One time.
Awkward? Yes.
Reason to abandon whole career? Apparently.
A Hogwarts Murder Mystery.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,266
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 248
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- 1,195
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- 278
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- 19,822
Bookmarked by Patric1a
11 Jul 2025
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When eighteen-year-old Draco Malfoy finds himself back at Hogwarts on the eve of Voldemort's infamous return, he is confronted with the most difficult decision he's ever had to make: Relive the 6th year at school he's tried so hard to forget, or do the unthinkable and ally himself with Potter's lot...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,547
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 957
- Kudos:
- 10,789
- Bookmarks:
- 2,255
- Hits:
- 221,003
Bookmarked by Patric1a
09 Jul 2025