FakeButILikeYou



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  1. Summary

    Unrelated one shots about Ilya being sad. Check tags and author’s notes for any trigger warnings 💜

    Words:
    7,355
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    83
  2. Words:
    13,973
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    6
  3. Words:
    21,054
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    10

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Ilya–” Shane breathed, high and wheezy. “You can’t– You can’t leave me! Please, God, please, don’t take him. Please, please, I can’t lose– I can’t–”

    A blaring alarm yanked him out of his panic like a fish out of water. He shot upright, flailing his limbs that were caught in something soft. Blurred splashes of colour steadily painted a picture of a bedroom he’d recognise anywhere. It was brighter now, light pouring in through partially shut curtains. His breath was heavy and he struggled making sense of how the hell he’d ended up in bed when just a moment ago, Ilya had–

    “Hollander.” Ilya slurred, narrowing his eyes at him. “Turn that thing off.”

     

    Or, Shane is stuck in a time loop that resets whenever his fiancé dies.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,957
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    849
    Kudos:
    1,828
    Bookmarks:
    586
    Hits:
    50,928

    29 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “I’m sorry to hear that it has been getting worse, Ilya,” Galina said, a line between her brows. “Do you think something has…triggered your depressive feelings to get worse?”

    Ilya had wondered the same, had tried to track down the exact moment his brain had decided to slowly suffocate him to death, but he had no answer. It was like the question of which came first: the chicken or the egg. He didn’t know which came first; his depression or simply his awareness of it.

    He felt as if he had always had it—he just didn’t recognize it for what it was until he became aware of its name through the Irina Foundation’s work.

    “Isn’t it just genetic?” Ilya asked. “The trigger was my birth, I think.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,017
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    606
    Bookmarks:
    139
    Hits:
    5,627

    23 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya's depression medication wasn't working. Again.

    Ilya thought were only three options for him. If he was being completely objective, three options. He could continue on as is. He could die. Or he could confess his feelings and detonate a bomb onto his entire life.

    Every day Ilya kept picking the first option. Sometimes he chose it multiple times a day. Multiple times a night. He would continue on. He would. He didn’t have any other choices. Unless he died like his mother.

    Ilya was caught.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,050
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    629
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    21,267

    20 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya rubbed at his face with both hands, trying to knead the heaviness away. It didn’t budge.

    Probably just caught something from the kids, he thought to himself. Some kind of virus.

    Except he'd been feeling like this for weeks now. Maybe longer. It was hard to tell. The days blurred when you were tired, and he’d been tired for longer than he wanted to admit.

    Maybe it was something still lingering in his system. That happened sometimes, right? Viruses could hang around. He'd read that somewhere. Post-viral fatigue.

    Yeah. That was probably it.

    Some dormant virus still working its way out of him.

    Or,

    Ilya and Shane are married with kids, living the life they fought for. But Ilya's depression is rearing its ugly head again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,081
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    199
    Kudos:
    2,700
    Bookmarks:
    304
    Hits:
    30,727

    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,359
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,478
    Kudos:
    17,616
    Bookmarks:
    3,774
    Hits:
    208,722

    17 Jun 2026