Doehooves
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The Dish Best Served Cold by chickenlivesinpumpkin
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Apr 2014
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Summary
Harry's tired of Snape's bad teaching. So Gryffindor House takes it upon themselves to teach Snape a little lesson. Or at least, to make his job grading a little harder. But they should've remembered that Snape fights dirty...
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Harry Potter thought the hardest part about being the Chosen One would be preparing to fight Voldemort. He didn't expect it might actually be missing out on all the normal teenaged stuff. Now in sixth year, Harry feels like an outsider, too worried about being the subject of another Witch Weekly article to try to take part.
When he and Draco Malfoy land in a semester's worth of detention, Draco is delighted and horrified to discover the Boy Who Lived is not only a virgin, he doesn't even know how to snog.
Secret snogging lessons. They didn't mean anything. Until they did.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,391
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 243
- Kudos:
- 2,088
- Bookmarks:
- 436
- Hits:
- 32,084
Bookmarked by Doehooves
08 May 2025
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Summary
Their lives were perfect.
It didn’t matter that they still occasionally fought old supporters of Voldemort. The dark wizard was dead. His horcruxes were destroyed, even the one that had resided within Harry. Most importantly, Harry had his friends beside him. He had his friends to support him.
Then, he got hit with the killing curse.
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A story in which Harry is transmigrated into another world. He figures his status as an Omega is mostly irrelevant. He needs to focus on foiling the dastardly plans of Tom Marvolo Riddle, the Minister for Magic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,771
- Chapters:
- 7/25
- Comments:
- 777
- Kudos:
- 4,563
- Bookmarks:
- 1,380
- Hits:
- 105,013
Bookmarked by Doehooves
04 May 2025
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Christmas eve starts out poorly for Harry when he finds out he won’t be kept on at his seasonal job at the Riddle Department Store. On his return from the unemployment office on his lunch break, he spots a woman leaving a baby on a doorstep. He tries to stop her, but now everyone thinks the baby is his-- even his boss, Tom Riddle, who forces him to take responsibility if Harry wants to keep his job.
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AU of the 1939 Movie, Bachelor Mother.Series
- Part 1 of Bachelor Mother AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,652
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 246
- Kudos:
- 6,508
- Bookmarks:
- 1,538
- Hits:
- 80,482
Bookmarked by Doehooves
03 May 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy leads an ordered but rather unfulfilling life, working in a Ministry basement and residing in his cramped Muggle flat. Feeling underappreciated and horribly lonely, he purchases some special charms that allow him to conjure imaginary friends. Unfortunately, after becoming a suspect in a potions smuggling investigation, Draco is forced to surrender a month’s worth of memories for a Pensieve Probe.
The aurors assigned to bear witness to his most private and embarrassing moments are none other than the Ministry ‘darlings’ Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,447
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 465
- Kudos:
- 5,037
- Bookmarks:
- 1,602
- Hits:
- 76,414
Bookmarked by Doehooves
01 May 2025