Work Text:
“Pike, she’s getting away!”
“What?!” Pike whirled around – as did Mr. Bookman – just as the bell above the door clanged mournfully, signaling that the victim of their attempted kidnapping and interrogation had run out. “No!” Pike stamped her foot in frustration as she saw a bright blur rush past the dingy shop window. “Lilie, what’s the matter with you? Why did you let her get away?”
“Well, I –”
“Never mind, go after her!” Pike started to rush towards the door, but was held up as Mr. Bookman began to squawk with rage.
“Thief! Thief! I knew you were in here to steal!”
"What?" Pike looked down at the package of eel spleens she was still holding, and its contents finally registered with her. "Eeeewww!" She hurled it across the room before running out of the shop so swiftly that she didn’t see the delicate wrapper burst open as it hit a glass case. The eel spleens flew out in every possible direction, as well as a few improbable ones; in the course of the investigation a few days later, Mr. Katz would yowl in horror as one plummeted from the ceiling and lodged itself in his hair as an uncomfortable and very unbecoming hat. Lilie was just ahead of her, and Pike slammed the door behind them so hard that a thin crack splintered its little window.
“Waaaah, it’s raining!” Lilie wailed as they exited the shop.
“Who cares? It’s just water.” Pike scanned the street for any sign of the escapee. “Where you do you think she went?”
“Um, well, she went that way,” Lilie said, pointing in the direction that Ahiru had run off in. She struggled to pull the hood of her coat over her head as she spoke. “Eurgh, I don’t like rain… I mean, it sets a nice tragic mood, but it’s no fun getting my clothes soaked, and I did my hair so special for today’s torture session…”
“I know that.” Pike rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore Lilie’s mewling about the weather and focusing on her answer about their former prisoner. “But there are a zillion possibilities even in just that direction. Let’s go find her.”
“Okay,” Lilie said with a sigh. She would much rather go inside somewhere where it was warm, maybe get something to eat, and try this again on a better day, but Pike was such a stern taskmaster that she knew there was no arguing with her.
“Don’t gripe at me about this, we wouldn’t be out here if you hadn’t let her get away.” Pike glowered. “I’m not going to forget that one in a hurry.”
“It’s not my fault if she moved too quickly to catch her!” Lilie whined. “There was something unnatural about it, like she was using magic or something!”
“She probably was. She lives up at the castle, remember?” Pike scowled. “They get up to all sorts of magical things up there, and they only teach special kids how to use the stuff. Ordinary witches like you and me aren’t good enough for those snobs, only enchanters get to learn from Miss High and Mighty Chrestomanci in her fancy tower room.”
“It’s just not faaaaaaaaaair.” Lilie pouted. “If they let in everyone, we’d be able to see Fakir every day.”
“Yeah, but then we’d have more competition for him,” Pike pointed out. “Right now, it’s pretty much just that girl standing in our way. That Rue doesn’t seem to be his type, so she’s no threat, but this new girl is an unknown variable. I don’t like it.”
“Ah, I smell a glorious battle on the horizon!” Lilie clasped her hands together under her chin. “How close do you think she is to him? I think they’re much closer than she wanted to admit, if the first thing that came to her mind was to deny they were on a date!”
“Either that, or she wants to be dating him. I suppose I can’t blame her for that,” Pike admitted grudgingly. “She does have good taste, I’ll give her that.”
“Oh yes, indeed!” Lilie sighed dreamily. “What a brooding hunk he is! She’s so lucky to be able to spend so much time with him!”
“Too lucky.” Pike scowled again. “Ugh, and it’s obvious he likes her too, this is going to be difficult to break up!”
“Ah, but I can’t resist a good challenge!” Lilie was glowing with excitement. “And how can you tell he likes her?”
“Oh come on, Lilie, you haven’t noticed?” Pike rolled her eyes with exasperation. “We’ve both been watching him closely, am I the only one actually paying attention? He’s clearly smitten with her, whenever she turns away he looks at her the way I wish he’d look at me. It really isn’t fair!”
“Oh, there there, Pike,” Lilie said consolingly as she patted her friend on the shoulder. “All in good time! We’ll ruin their budding relationship, leaving her in tears and him positively crushed but hiding it beneath his gorgeously stoic exterior, and then you and I will swoop in to comfort him and let him pour out his heart to us, and then in the process of healing, he’ll pick one of us to rebound with, and then after that he’ll find true love with the other one, leaving our friendship a shambles until we tearfully reconcile and admit we cannot live without the other!”
Pike blinked. “You’ve really planned this out, haven’t you?”
“You know me, I like to be prepared, even for the worst.”
“Especially for the worst, you mean,” Pike muttered. Lilie giggled.
“Why, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she exclaimed, her expression giving away that her feigned innocence was exactly that: feigned.
“Whatever.” Pike was about to roll her eyes again, but then something caught her eye. “Oooh, look, I think it’s them!”
“What?” Lilie followed her friend as she dashed over to peer into the window of a small café. Sure enough, they could see Ahiru, Fakir, and Rue seated at a table inside. “Oooh, oh my, it looks like he got all wet too! Be still my heart!”
“Really? Oh… oh wow…” Pike sighed happily as she stared at him. “Helloooooo, Fakir.”
They both watched him for a while, and then Lilie spoke up again. “I know you’ve said you don’t want to, but maybe we should consider interrogating Rue sometime? She’s lived at the castle with him longer, so she probably knows more…”
“And she’s much scarier!” Pike shuddered. “I mean, mostly she seems nice, but I’ve seen her be really intimidating too, and I think she’s supposed to be pretty powerful at magic or something! This new girl is a much easier target, she hasn’t learned as much magic yet and she’s a total wimp. No, we should just wait and try… again…” She trailed off, her jaw going slack as Fakir smiled at Ahiru. “Wh… what in the…”
Beside her, Lilie gasped in horror. “Noooo! Oh no!” She stumbled back, clutching her heart. “This can’t be! His bad boy image is completely ruined! Oh, my heart can’t take this kind of shock! This is a disaster!”
“Hmmm, I dunno if I’d go that far,” Pike said thoughtfully. “I mean, it definitely looks weird, but not bad. He’s still just as handsome.”
“But he’s supposed to be dark and mysterious!” Lilie wailed. “You can’t be dark and mysterious when you’re smiling!”
“Well, no, not dark,” Pike conceded. “But mysterious? Totally! I mean, the fact that he’s capable of smiling, and why, and why he’d smile at her? A huge mystery! And part of the fun of dating him would be trying to solve the riddle of how to get him to smile at YOU! I think I’d enjoy that!” She giggled.
“Maybe, but… but I’ll still never look at him the same way again!” Lilie sighed.
“So that means you won’t stand in my way and I no longer have to worry about competing with you for him?” Pike grinned. “Fine with me! I can live with that!”
“Whaaaaaaat?” Lilie planted her hands on her hips and strode over to Pike. “I said no such thing! How dare you twist my words out of context! I propose we battle here and now!”
“Don’t be stupid, that’s a terrible idea!” Pike glared at her. “We still have to defeat that girl, in-fighting will get us nowhere! We need to focus on taking her down first and breaking them up, and only THEN can we battle each other, once our way is clear.”
“Oh dear! Of course, of course you’re right!” Lilie nodded vigorously. “I accept your truce! We shall fight on in unison, until that tragic hour in which we must lay aside our friendship and take up arms against each other!”
Pike grinned, and they shook hands. “Agreed!”