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Ikkaku was leaning on the porch rail outside of the Eleventh Division’s dojo watching Yumichika where he sat on the stoop, sharpening Ruri’iro Kujaku.
There was something different about him.
Ikkaku squinted in frustration and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He hated this shit. He knew if he said something, he’d only guess wrong. Was it the hair? Nope, still the same as it had been for a while. At least he thought so. The one braid down the side and the pointed bob looked the same, right?
The truth was, Ikkaku hadn’t quite gotten used to the new style, though he did like the shorter feathered eyelashes. They were cute. They really brought out the color in Yumichika’s eyes. Who even had eyes that deep purple?
Fuck. That was the sort of thing he should say.
Ikkaku toed Yumichika’s thigh with his sandal. “So… uh, did you do something new? I mean, to your hair or something?”
Yumichika glanced up. It was a withering gaze.
“What? Look, gimme a break. At least I noticed, right?”
Yumichika’s smile was cold and he shook his head. “You noticed jack shit; you’re just guessing.”
“Fuck you. I totally know.”
“Of course you do,” Yumichika set down the whetting stone and gave him a hard look. “So what is it?”
Crap.
Ikkaku stroked his chin. It had to be obvious. Maybe it was the white sash? How long had he been wearing that? Long enough, Ikkaku decided. Was the undershirt new? No, no, he’d seen that before too. Was it a different color? No, he didn’t think so. Fuck! What the fuck was it?
Yumichika was smiling at Ikkaku’s obvious distress. His smile turned lascivious and he licked his lips, “If you can figure out what it is, I’ll do that thing I can do with my tongue on you.”
Oh. The Thing. Fuck-damn. Ikkaku would do almost anything for The Thing With the Tongue. “Deal. How long do I have?”
“Until tonight,” Yumichika’s smile was sly, like he knew he already won. “If you can’t figure it out by midnight, I get to fuck you.”
“What?!”
In the practice yard, several heads turned at the sound of Ikkaku’s screech.
“Fair’s fair, love,” Yumichika purred, clearly enjoying himself. With a shit-eating grin he picked up the stone and went back to his work.
Sadistic motherfucker.
“Fine,” Ikkaku snarled. “I got this, anyway. It’s only a matter of time.”
#
By lunch, Ikkaku was beginning to sweat.
He’d asked about six dozen people in the division and no one had a clue. Or they said stuff Ikkaku knew was bullshit like, “New haircut?” Cripes, didn’t these people look at Yumichika? He’d smacked at least three of those morons on the side of their heads for that kind of disrespect.
The little lieutenant said something that had gotten Ikkaku thinking, though. Yachiru had stuck her finger in her nose and seemed to consider the problem really hard. Then she announced, “Taller!”
Ikkaku was beginning to think there was something to that.
Ikkaku stirred the noodles around in his bowl, his eyes locked on where Yumichika sat across from him in the mess, chatting with Maki-Maki or fuck-who-knew. They were discussing the survival odds of the latest recruit. Ikkaku had written the kid off days ago, so he wasn’t really listening. Instead, he was checking out Yumichika’s physique. Was he bigger…more cut?
Yumichika was one of those guys who could surprise you, if you underestimated him. It was the thing Ikkaku had always found the most appealing about him. People tended to write Yumichika off as a pretty boy, only to find a knife between their ribs.
Yeah, that was hot.
Super hot.
Yumichika intentionally hid his strength, too. He never showed off any unnecessary skin—which was a fucking shame, because that man was flawless. Ikkaku always figured he wore his clothes so prudishly, so that no one would see how wiry and trim and buff he really was. His body was like a panther’s—sleek and deadly.
Fuck. Ikkaku was getting hard just thinking about it all.
And it wasn’t helping him divine this mystery, either.
No matter how beautiful Yumichika was, Ikkaku really didn’t want to have to make good on his part of the wager. It wasn’t that he was completely against the idea, but… yeah, no, he was completely against the idea. The last time Yumichika talked him into something like this he was sore for a week. Merciless sadistic motherfucker, that’s what Yumichika was.
Ikkaku would much rather get The Thing with the Tongue. Ooooh, the Thing. There was nothing like the Thing.
Ikkaku got shivers thinking about it.
Gah. He was going to come if he kept up this line of thought. Right, so, if Yumichika wasn’t taller, was he buffer?
Ikkaku had noticed that Yumichika had been staying at the practice spot out on Sokoyoku Hill, and sometimes even going there by himself. Yumichika hated sweating, and everyone knew how much he disliked his zanpakutō, so what was he doing there?
Maybe he was on one of his kicks again about getting fat, which was, of course, ridiculous, but… whatever.
“You’ve lost weight,” Ikkaku tried.
Yumichika blinked, stopping mid-sentence to give Ikkaku a shake of his head.
Maki-Maki-or-Fuck-The-What gave Yumichika the once over and nodded, “Yeah, you’ve been looking really good lately. Is that what it is? I thought it was a new perfume. It’s very alluring.”
“Oi! Eyes to yourself!” Ikkaku shouted, tossing whatever he had in his hand at Maki-The-Hell. It happened to be a dumpling, and it bounced off the dude’s nose uselessly. Still, the guy got the hint and shifted a little away from Yumichika and glanced around guiltily. Half the division was giving him the head shake of ‘You nuts or something?’
The captain looked up at the fuss from where he sat near the end of the table. He caught Ikkaku’s eye with a look that seemed to bore straight into Ikkaku’s soul. Then, Kenpachi laughed. “You’re trying to figure it out, ain’t ya? Good luck.”
So, wait? It was something the captain knew?
“How come the captain knows and I don’t?” Ikkaku asked.
Yumichika, meanwhile, wouldn’t meet his eyes and he was slightly flushed. No, wait, that was… a blush? Yumichika never blushed!
That was another thing Ikkaku found really sexy about him. There was no shame, ever, no matter how kinky things got. Instead, Yumichika would be there on his knees looking back at you like you were something tasty, something he’d been craving his whole life….
Ikkaku had to slam his head down on the table to hide his explosive ejaculation.
When he finally got things under control, Yumichika was gone.
#
After a quick change in hakama, Ikkaku looked everywhere and finally found Yumichika on the roof of the main hall, overlooking the gate. Yumichika was sitting with his knees pulled up tightly against his chest. His face was buried in his arms. Ikkaku plopped down next to him and waited. Even though the sun was hot, Ikkaku let his hand rest on Yumichika’s back, rubbing it absently.
Finally, Yumichika sighed. “Just because you’re being nice doesn’t mean I’m going to tell.”
“I know,” Ikkaku said.
Yumichika lifted his head and gave Ikkaku a wicked smile. “You’ll never guess.”
“Oh, I think I already know something about it,” Ikkaku said, reaching up to give Yumichika’s braid a little tug. He’d figured out something with the blush, because there was only one thing Yumichika would be embarrassed about: “It’s ugly.”
Yumichika’s eyes went wide.
Ha! Direct hit.
“Plus,” Ikkaku continued sagely, “If the captain knows, it has something to do with fighting. I’ll bet it’s to do with Ruri’iro Kujaku. Oh holy shit!” Ikkaku jumped up and pointed an accusing finger at Yumichika. He danced around the tiles on his tip toes. “It’s bankai! You have bankai!”
“Shut up, will you?” Yumichika said. “And sit down. Or I swear to god I’ll tell the captain about yours.”
That shut him up.
Ikkaku crouched down and took Yumichika’s scrunched up, angry face into his hands. His calloused thumbs traced along beloved and familiar angles. “Don’t worry about the bankai, whatever it is. You’re still beautiful to me.”
“Taupe,” Yumichika sobbed. “My outfit changes and it’s taupe, I tell you, Taupe! And the cut is all wrong! It doesn’t flatter my figure at all!”
“I’m sure it’s awesome,” Ikkaku said drawing him up into a kiss.
“No, it’s a tragedy!” Yumichika said through clenched teeth into Ikkaku’s mouth. Ikkaku decided the best solution was a nice distraction, so he let his hand slide under Yumichika’s uniform and hunted around until he found nipple. “You don’t understand the magnitude of the horror…. Oh…!”
As Ikkaku pushed Yumichika back on to the tiled roof, he growled into his ear as he took a nip, “Don’t forget. You owe me the Thing….”