Chapter Text
Stiles got off the plane and rented himself a car. He was still a little buzzed from the wine he had drank on the flight but his dad was the town Sheriff and Stiles frankly didn’t care if he got arrested right now. He groaned loudly as he passed the sign announcing he was back in Beacon Hills. Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
He might not have been arrested for driving under the influence but he sure got pulled over for going way over the speed-limit. As the patrol car behind him slowed down and the officers made their way over to him, he frantically searched his pockets for his license. He was still busy looking when someone knocked on his car window, a young looking officer. Maybe Stiles’ age, he thought. He found the license and started to get out of the car. He was halfway between straightening himself, with one foot planted on the ground and one still inside the car when his eyes fell on the second officer.
Derek Hale.
Who looked just as surprised as him. Honestly, Stiles didn’t know what words were in that instant. He stood frozen on the spot as the younger officer went on about over-speeding. Derek had a pained expression on his face and Stiles thought he should say how good it was to see an old friend again. Were they friends? But before he could even talk, he heard a familiar low drawl and wanted to jerk his head and look at Derek who was now talking but he realized he was already looking at Derek. He had been for a while now.
“Wade, my shift is over. I need to go help Laura with the kids. You can take care of this.”
And then he was gone.
The younger guy—Wade—made a surprised noise and turned his head around to look at Derek’s retreating form.
“Deputy Hale---“
But Derek was long gone so whatever he wanted to say was cut short. Wait, Deputy? Actually wait, Derek was a cop? What?
What?
“Uh, you were going over the speed limit—“
“He’s a deputy?”
“Um, you know him?”
“Yeah, I do. I did.” Wow, that didn’t hurt at all.
“Look, you need to pay for—“
“Yeah yeah, I know. My dad’s the Sheriff. And—“
“Oh right, I thought I’d seen you somewhere. You look different than the photos the Sheriff has on his desk. He talks about you a lot.”
That was a punch to the gut. He wasn’t sure what he should be more offended about. The fact that someone he didn’t even know was telling him he had stayed away for so long that he looked different than his photos. Or that Derek had just called him ‘this’ as in ‘You can take care of this.’
Or should he be feeling guilty that his dad kept photos of him in his office and talked about him to his employees despite the fact that he hadn’t come home to see him in six years. Or just push himself off a cliff that the first person he had run into was Derek. His ex.
Actually it was a good thing, maybe. If he hadn’t seen Derek just now, he would probably have put it off for days or weeks if he even stayed that long. But the thing was it was hard to not run into someone sooner or later in a town like this. And it would’ve been awkward.
‘Hey Derek, remember me? Your boyfriend who left you behind for a job in New York and didn’t come back for six years?’
Yeah, maybe it was better that the awkward encounter was out of the way. Maybe.
“So, Wade. Looks like you need a ride to the Station. Hop in, I’m going to see my Dad anyway.”
Wade looked scandalized at the prospect but seeing as how he couldn’t exactly take a cab back to the Station he accepted with a muttered thank you and then radio-silence. Stiles needed to think anyway.
He had to think of a way to see his Dad after six years and tell him he had a fiancé back in New York. His dad didn’t know he was coming, and he knew he would be happy and jumping around in excitement when he’d see Stiles come in. At least that’s what he hoped.
***
Derek Hale started his day normally, with too much coffee and a smile on his face. He was on patrol today with Wade which wasn’t the best day at work but it could be worse. He could be doing two shifts back to back. He could be doing paperwork. Yeah, it was a good day.
He and Wade had gone through most of the shift quietly. Just a couple of speeding tickets and the usual rounds. And of course, the customary Jenkins’ call about ‘suspicious looking kids hanging around the front of the shop.’ No patrol shift in the history of Beacon Hills was finished without Jenkins calling about kids lurking. That brought back bad memories, memories he had buried so he quickly turned his attention back to the present. They were parked on the Highway just inside the town limit, this was usually a quiet time of the shift.
Derek was reading the paper when a car rushed by them, he sighed and turned on the engine, put the siren on the roof, and started after said car. Why couldn’t he have had a peaceful ten minutes before he was done for the day?
The driver pulled over, it was a rental Derek noted. Wade walked ahead of him and knocked on the window while he stayed behind. A guy got out of the car but Wade was blocking his vision so he couldn't see the person's face and then he wasn’t anymore.
Stiles.
Stiles was standing next to the car shuffling to open his license and preparing to shove it in Wade’s face when his eyes met Derek’s and reflected the shock Derek knew showed on his face.
Stiles is here.
His heart jumped around and he felt like he was going to throw up. This reminded him of another time- another time when he was a different person. Stiles was staring at him and he couldn’t take it. No. Not after six years of nothing.
Derek made an excuse to Wade and turned around to get away from Stiles as fast as he could. He heard Wade call him and also Stiles asking Wade if Derek was a deputy with disbelief in his voice. Stiles had always thought Derek was never going to do anything in his life. That he was just going to stick around in this small town and work part-time. The disbelief in his voice cut deep but well, some things never change.
Derek got into the cruiser and drove out of there in a hurry. He drove home way past the speed limit and slammed the door shut behind him. He was in his bed now and the drive home was a blur. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here.
He hadn’t seen Stiles in six years and now he was back in town. Derek wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to this. For the first three years, he had imagined about this and made up scenarios in his head but then he’d given up. Finally, after five years of being miserable he had come to terms with it. He had created a Stiles-free bubble where he went hours-sometimes even days if he was lucky-without thinking of Stiles. Today was not one of those days.
***
He thought back to the first time he had first seen Stiles Stilinski.
Stiles had come in while Derek and Laura were waiting for the Sheriff to come back from handling the urgent paperwork. Their house had just burned down and their parents were dead. Stiles had silently walked in and handed Laura a box of tissues from the Sheriff’s desk. He hadn’t tried to extend it to Derek like he already knew that Derek wouldn’t accept. He had spent about twenty minutes in the room, talking for eighteen of them. Laura had stopped crying and was now just alternating between laughing through tears and looking at Stiles with awe in her eyes. Derek too, for a minute, had forgotten where he was and why till the Sheriff came back.
Stiles was the kid who had made Derek forget his pain for a moment in the middle of chaos.
The Sheriff had been too kind back then to him and his sister. He had driven them to the hospital personally to make sure they were okay even after the Paramedics had cleared them not five hours ago. He had then taken them to his house for the night. Stiles was staying at Scott McCall’s house that night and they didn’t see him. Then the Sheriff had made sure that they settled in into the apartment their late Uncle Peter had had in town. It was Mr. Hale’s after Peter had died but now it belonged to Derek. The whole town had been very helpful in that time of adversity but that one man had been the kindest.
And somewhere along the way, he became John and not the Sheriff.
The next time Derek saw Stiles was weeks later in the cemetery where he was sitting beside a grave and talking. Derek left him be and walked over to where his family now rested and sat down between his father and mother. He was still a teenager and he might have been forced to step up and be an adult, he was still a kid at heart. He sat there just looking at his parents’ names on the tombstones and wondered how he’d always thought of them as just Mom and Dad. But now they were Damien and Talia Hale-beloved parents. Of all the things, that’s what brought him to tears.
He silently sobbed and trembled for about five minutes. That’s all he allowed himself, he had to be strong for himself and for Laura. So just for five minutes, he allowed himself to break down and let all the pent up anger and pain and frustration out. After that, he just sat there thinking back to how life was before all this happened. He didn’t notice when Stiles came and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything unlike their last encounter. He just sat quietly like he had been at his mother’s grave till Derek made a move to stand up. They walked back to the gate in silence, companionable more than uncomfortable, and parted ways from there. Not a word was shared between them that day. But what they shared was beyond words could have expressed.
Stiles was the Sheriff’s kid to him. Stiles was the kid who had sat at his parents’ graves with him for hours.
And then one day years later, he became much more than that.
Derek went home from his part-job at the bookstore to find Laura and Stiles stretched out on the living room couch watching Star Wars. Not again. Laura was obsessed with those movies and going by the blissed-out look on Stiles’ face, so was he. Derek decided to ignore them and went to the kitchen to get his lunch. And before he knew it, Laura and Stiles were there trying to talk to him. Derek liked people like John who kept their opinions to themselves unless asked. But as was his luck, his sister wasn’t one of those people. She was more of the ‘This-is-what-I-think-and-you-should-agree-because-I’m-always-right’ kind. And the ‘You-didn’t-ask-for-my-opinion-here-it-is-anyway’ kind. And Stiles was her long-lost brother.
Between the two of them, Derek decided he’d rather jump off a cliff than sit there and eat while they waxed poetic about the new Batman movie. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Batman. He just didn’t like discussing how Batman and the Joker have unresolved sexual tension. So he made an unnoticed hasty retreat while homoerotic subtext in all the DC comics was being discussed.
Things changed after that day.
Derek always went to the local café owned by the Argents and sat at one of the window stools while he sipped his coffee. Now, the town people knew better than to try and sit next to him and converse. Someone would occasionally wave at him or greet him in passing but the seats on either side of him were left gratefully empty. Until Stiles plumped down next to him, on an especially snowy day. Derek was ready to scowl the person all the way to Mars and back but when he turned, he was met by wide brown eyes that he just couldn’t bring himself to glare at. Stiles gave him a huge smile before he began to pour a shit-ton of sugar into his coffee. Derek glared at his head instead but it just didn’t have the same effect, he found.
Stiles not only sat there but also started talking. People were glaring at Derek now. They probably felt cheated that while no one was allowed to sit next to him, Stiles was chatting away and Derek let him. And before he knew it another boy came and sat next to Stiles.
“Oh hey, Scotty. Derek, this is my best friend Scott. Scott this is Derek.”
“Hi Derek.” Scott as it turned out had even worse puppy-eyes than Stiles. Derek didn’t even try to shoo him away and just nodded at him once.
They sat there for another forty minutes or so, just him and Stiles. Scott had walked away in a dreamy haze after a girl who had dimples and looked literally like a Disney Princess. She was an Argent, Derek remembered. And while he sat there waiting for Laura, Stiles talked about school and Lacrosse and whatnot. He realized he didn’t mind Stiles talking that much.
Jinxed. He probably shouldn’t have said that because every time he went into the coffee shop from then on, Stiles magically appeared and sat down next to him. It was like he was hiding behind the counter or something just waiting for Derek to come in. The Barista was always giving him dirty looks and he had no idea what he had done to offend her, well other than the usual glaring and non-committal grunting. She was an older woman- an Argent. Kate. She had always made cute eyes at him and leaned too much under the counter when serving him, ever since she had started working there about a year ago. Derek, just like he treated everyone else, ignored her. Other than the usual tip and a returned wave.
But ever since Stiles had started sitting with him, she was giving him angry looks. She had been rude to Stiles too many times for it to be a bad-mood thing. He wanted to confront her about it but Stiles seemed unfazed by it so he decided to let it go for now. What? Since when was he worried about people being rude to Stiles? WHAT?
Apparently, Stiles had already burrowed his way into Derek’s life. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out when or how. The coffee together became a thing, where Stiles would run his mouth for hours sometimes while Derek sat and listened. He enjoyed it more than he would ever admit to anyone. While the town folk shot him looks of betrayal. Well, it wasn’t like he could help it. He almost wanted to get up and yell, “Well, you try to shoo him away when he’s looking at you like that.” But he didn’t, for obvious reasons.
Turns out, not only Stiles but also Scott and the princess girl—Allison made it a habit to sit all around him and discuss their lives. It wasn’t like he could get up and leave with three pairs of puppy-eyes directed at him. Damn you, Stiles.
Somewhere in the middle of his coffee-shop therapy-sessions, Laura and Stiles became best-friends-forever. Derek would go home from the coffee shop to hear Laura repeat all of Stiles’ daily activities verbatim. He now knew when Stiles brushed his teeth and also how much he scored on his Chemistry daily quizzes. Because he was told twice. Everyday.
Laura and Stiles became very close over the next few months, to the point that people now feared them like they feared Stiles and Scott together. And for good reason. If anyone saw Stiles and Scott together, it was a good time to be suspicious and run away. Because those two could pull a fast one on anyone, including the Sheriff.
And now Laura was Stiles’ partner in crime. They had apparently dumped old man Jenkins’ truck in the lake after he had said something insulting to the Sheriff in the Station last week. Now, no one knew for sure but it had Stiles written all over it. But because no one could prove it, Jenkins had to be satisfied with no official arrest. He did glare at Derek harder than usual though. But that hardly fazed him. A glare was better than a forced conversation.
He had had his doubts but it wasn’t until he’d found Laura and Stiles giggling in the living room when he went home after work and asking Derek if he could get some pain-killers because their arms were killing them.
‘From pushing a truck into a lake?’ He wanted to ask but he decided he didn’t want to know.
Everyone else had apparently assumed it was him who had helped Stiles since his brother-from-another-mother Scott was out of town. Kate was especially bitchy the next day and got his order wrong, on purpose he was sure. But he thought a confrontation wasn’t the best idea when his sister and that idiot were the ones who had actually done it. He sat down in his usual seat and about three minutes later Stiles came and sat next to him but he wasn’t alone today. Laura sat on the other side of him and he couldn’t help but feel like he was being sold something shitty against his will as he sat trapped between the two of them. And he did get sold.
Laura and Stiles were both sweet-talkers. Evil masterminds. And that’s why there were able to convince him to help them not only tp Kate’s car but a glitter-bomb was also involved. Derek had stood in the parking shuddering, torn between running away and helping them pay Kate back for being such a bitch.
Kate got his order wrong the next day too and for the better part of a month really, after that. Everyone assumed it was Stiles but this prank somehow earned him respect more than disapproval; Kate was apparently the town-bitch. Stiles became a hero, his father was not pleased but at least people liked him even better now. They still crossed the road in a hurry when they saw Stiles and Scott together though.
Derek wasn’t sure when he had been sucked into Stiles’ life and his pranks. But he was in now, there was no escaping. And before he could sit down and think about it Stiles was kissing him against his car after he scored his first goal at Lacrosse and Derek had asked him what he wanted as a gift.
Standing there with his back against Stiles’ jeep and Stiles plastered along his front, Derek had a moment. It was one of those moments when you get something and you think about how you never realized that you wanted the thing before then but at the same time, you can’t imagine being able to go on without the thing any longer. That thing was Stiles Stilinski.
Derek fell hard. His first love and last one, really. And Stiles was a handful. He ripped Derek apart piece by piece and then put him together. He made Derek a totally different person.
Within the week, Derek was voluntarily waving at people. He even stopped to chat to Miss. Carmichael when he was walking home from a run. He started smiling more often and people seemed to be comfortable enough around him to come and sit next to him in the coffee shop. Kate glared even more which meant he was doing great.
The Sheriff—call me John, son—even invited him and Laura to dinner almost every weekend. Stiles started spending more and more time at their apartment with Laura and him, now that he was done with high-school and looking at potential careers.
He was really interested in journalism and writing, he was applying to colleges all over the country. Derek always ended up in a bad mood after Stiles went on and on about schools that were on the East Coast or anywhere but Beacon Hills. But he never let it show, he pushed it down and hid it away when Stiles was around. Laura saw right through him though and always smiled reassuringly at him when Stiles brought the topic up.
Derek was planning on asking Stiles to marry him. He knew he could never look at anyone other than Stiles, he knew he had found his true love-Laura’s words not his. Things were looking bright.
And of course that’s when everything went to shit. Stiles came home one afternoon looking ecstatic. He sat Laura and him down in the kitchen and told them he had been offered an internship in Journalism with a famous columnist in New York. Derek’s smile faltered, Laura looked at him worriedly.
Stiles paused for a beat but then went on, “And I want you to come with me.” He had the biggest smile Derek had seen for a while. Derek was crushed, Laura looked like someone had slapped her.
“What?”
“Derek, this is huge. It’s a once in a lifetime chance and I don’t want to miss it. So I want us to move to New York.”
“Stiles,I—“
Derek didn’t know what to say. His hand instinctively went to the ring in his pocket that he had been carrying around for days, looking for the right moment. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and Stiles was holding it, looking at him expectantly to ask back for it.
“Derek…”
Stiles’ voice was hesitant, he was catching on.
“I love you but I really need to do this. Are you coming with me or not?”
Derek was frozen, he couldn’t move much less speak. But he felt like he had to or he might lose Stiles forever.
“Stiles, I love you. More than anything but I can’t leave Beacon Hills. This is my home. Laura is my only family and I don’t want to leave her behind. I’ve never known anywhere else but here. Stiles, please.” Derek stood up to move toward Stiles but he flinched and backed away. That hurt more than anything Stiles had said or done so far.
He silently took the ring out of his pocket, put it on the counter and walked out of the apartment. He could hear Laura sobbing. No sound from Stiles.
Derek didn’t know where he was going, he was lost. He was lost in a town he had lived in for twenty-two years and knew like the back of his hand. He wandered around till it got dark out. John saw him walking toward the Cemetery and pulled over. They sat down at a bench silently for about ten minutes before John spoke.
“He told me this morning. I love him, he’s my son and I want what’s best for him but I can’t help but feel sad and angry at his decision. He told me he was going to ask you to move with him.”
That sounded like a question, Derek looked up and sure enough John was looking at him with his eyebrows raised.
“He did. I told him no.”
John sighed loudly.
“I’m sorry, son.”
“I was going to ask him to marry me.”
John sucked in a sharp breath and put a hand on his shoulder.
“I really don’t know what to say, Derek.”
“It’s okay. I don’t either. It’s just that this is home. And Laura’s here and I don’t want to leave her. She‘s the only one I’ve got.”
“I understand, Son. I thought as much.”
“I don’t know what to do, John. I don’t wanna lose him.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. It’s unfair of him to ask you to leave everything behind and move with him. But it’s also unfair of you to ask him to stay.”
Derek stared at his feet, he already knew this. That’s why he hadn’t asked Stiles to stay. That’s why he had never said anything to Stiles when he talked about all those far away schools. He knew it was unfair.
“I know but I just don’t want to let him go.”
“I don’t either, Son.” John patted his back. “I understand about you and Laura and I told him as much this morning but he still wanted to ask you.”
“I’m sorry, John.”
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Derek. I understand. It’s okay. Come on, let’s get you home.”
And that had been that. Stiles didn’t come to the apartment or the coffee shop after that. Derek took the week off and laid in bed all day and go to the Cemetery at night. He cried. He hadn’t cried in years but now the tears wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know if he wanted them to.
Stiles had left the ring after he had clutched it to his heart and sobbed for a solid five minutes, according to Laura. Derek had picked it up and carried it with him everywhere. He had it in his pocket now as he sat next to his mother and bawled.
On Friday, Stiles had come to the apartment and Laura had let him in while Derek hid out in his room with his door locked. He knew why Stiles was here. Scott had told him yesterday after he had chased Derek into the woods and shouted at him for being a man-child and running away from his problems.
Stiles was here to say goodbye.
And Derek had decided that he wasn’t going to see him. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to say goodbye. Maybe then, Stiles would stay.
But he could hear Laura now telling Stiles that Derek was in his room. He heard footsteps and a knock on his door. He made no move, Stiles knocked again.
“Derek”
He felt a pull in his heart, just that one word. He moved and stood next to the door but didn’t open it. He heard Stiles sigh.
“Fine, have it your way. I’ve accepted the internship. It’s going to last two years and I probably won’t be back before then. I want to say goodbye, can you open the door?”
His heart sank when he heard the words. He already knew that Stiles was leaving but somehow he had expected something to happen and Stiles to change his mind but hearing him say the words made it permanent. Inevitable. He lowered to the floor and handed the doorknob but didn’t open. His eyes were watery.
“Derek, please open the door. I want to see you before I go.” His voice broke.
Derek was silently sitting there with tears streaming down his face. He knew he couldn’t see Stiles. Not if he was going to see him for the last time in two years. He wouldn’t survive.
Stiles tried knocking again. And again.
“Okay. If this is what you want. I still love you.”
He heard footsteps retreat and the sound of Laura crying.
“Stiles...”
“Laura, don’t. It’s already hard enough for me to leave.”
“Then don’t.”
“You know I can’t. Just take care of him for me.”
Laura must’ve nodded because then he heard Stiles and her move and the front door shut behind them. Derek got himself up and moved to his window. He took in a deep breath and looked down.
Stiles was looking up at him. They stood like that for a second before Stiles hugged Laura and got into the jeep and drove away. That was the last time Derek saw Stiles.
He was broken then. And he was broken now. He didn’t know how to react then and he didn’t know how to react now. So he did what he did best, he locked himself in his house and avoided Laura’s calls and texts and emails and knocks on his door.