Chapter Text
Around the chapter Luo Binghe was thrown into the Abyss, a celebration event was held for Proud Immortal Demon Way at the same time, commemorating the author for reaching 666 thousand likes.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky came up with the genius idea to allow their readers to write letters to the protagonist to show their support in his upcoming tribulations in the Abyss. The most recent chapters only gave a taste of the suffering Luo Binghe would be subjected to, so why not show some pity to this white lotus who would soon be corrupted?
Of course, Shen Yuan knew this was all a ploy to feed Airplane's ego. Could none of the other readers open their eyes? These letters would be nothing but praise towards a shitty author who was actively destroying all of their creative world-building in favor of useless sex scenes!
Luo Binghe, a fictional character, would not be getting these letters at all!
Shen Yuan had high hopes for this story, having been a loyal reader from day one, so imagine his surprise when a sudden papapa scene was thrust upon innocent Binghe during the Immortal Alliance Conference. When it was shown that papapa with a Heavenly Demon was the only way to cure something called Without a Cure, Shen Yuan realized this would be a reoccurring solution for any future poisons, or any future problems for that matter.
Yes, the tags for Proud Immortal Demon Way included it being a stallion novel from the start, which Shen Yuan may or may not have forgotten until being blatantly reminded. To be fair, other stallion novels he read (for the plot!) didn't have such an intriguing description accompanied by complex world-building. The sort of issues the copy and paste stallion protagonist of shitty novel #400 would face consisted of pleasing their harem of women, increasing their harem, and killing the generic bad guy of the week with some bullshit technique.
Luo Binghe of Proud Immortal Demon Way was not like this. Despite the blessing of a protagonist halo, he went through more struggles than those other cookie-cutter protagonists and actually fought interesting monsters. Hell, the scum villain Shen Qingqiu blew away any wannabe sadistic villain from other stallion novels!
So why couldn't it stay like this? What use was there for papapa? Surely this would not do good for healing that broken white lotus? If anything, it would make Luo Binghe just as crooked as the ones who hurt him.
Unfortunately, Shen Yuan was merely a reader.
On the other hand, he was an outspoken reader.
These other mindless readers could keep pandering to the great Airplane all they wanted to get some more papapa, but Shen Yuan wouldn't do the same. And if these letters were going directly to the author, what better way for Shen Yuan to voice his opinion?
Obviously, the moderators would flag his letter if he started it by putting Airplane on blast, so Shen Yuan disguised the first few pages as an actual message to Luo Binghe. He figured if he made it annoyingly long, the moderators would merely skim through it. He just had to hope Airplane had the patience to read through the whole thing, which he double made sure of by sparkling heartfelt compliments towards Luo Binghe. In the end, Shen Yuan felt a bit proud of his letter.
If Luo Binghe was a real person and got to read his letter, he'd find a very detailed guide on the creatures and flora of his world. Though much hadn't been revealed in the novel thus far, convenient mini-books about these creatures and flora were included in the special edition volumes, all of which Shen Yuan owned.
The letter spanned 24 pages overall, the first 17 for Binghe and the last 7 for Airplane. Shen Yuan preened at the idea of Airplane reading through his scathing review after wasting their time going through an overly detailed guide of stuff he already knew (though knowing that hack author, they probably knew jack shit about their own guides).
Did Shen Yuan perhaps put too much effort into this elaborate critique?
Perhaps…but it was worth it in the end if it meant Airplane got the criticism they deserved!
Thus, Shen Yuan finished putting together his letter and mailed it out the very morning the event started. He even paid extra for express delivery, hoping it would be one of the first ones Airplane read. That would definitely spoil their mood!
The event was widely applauded by fans of the novel, with over 600 letters being sent in the span of a month. Airplane posted an image of all the letters they received on their social media and promised to read through every single one.
However, when the announcement arrived that Airplane had indeed finished reading them, even going as far as replying back to those who left their usernames, Shen Yuan never received a response.
Then again, it wasn't like Airplane would admit they'd been criticized, so Shen Yuan personally messaged the author to find out.
He wasn't expecting Airplane to reveal that Shen Yuan's letter never arrived.
Did Airplane take him for a fool?
They probably tossed it out after being insulted and refused to acknowledge Shen Yuan was right. As frustrating as that was, Shen Yuan chose to see it as a win. It wasn't the most satisfying one, but it was still a win.
But you see, Shen Yuan's letters indeed reached their destination.
Just in another world.
After all, each letter was addressed first and foremost to Luo Binghe.
Luo Binghe couldn't tell you why the first letter appeared.
It just popped up out of nowhere!
What Luo Binghe could tell you was when the first letter appeared.
He had just relocated to the old woodshed on Qing Jing Peak, the only place in the sect that would allow a lowly disciple like him to take shelter in. Though an abandoned thing with holes all over barely constituted as shelter, it was better than attempting to sleep on dirt and being exposed to all the elements. In here, he had logs to use as a pillow!
After spending all day chopping wood as punishment, Luo Binghe sneaked some over to his shed in order to fix up a door. He'd been lucky enough to skip another beating from Ming Fan, and his Shizun had left the peak that morning for a mission.
Peaceful days like these had become rare for Luo Binghe — something to cherish.
It was this specific day that he would cherish the most.
Exhaustion made him slip into a brief nap, and by the time Luo Binghe woke up, a sharp gust of wind blew straight through the shed, making the hanging piece of cloth by the entrance flap wildly. Luo Binghe frantically swatted away the dust that threatened to sting his eyes, though he wasn't quick enough to stop the cloth from ripping off the entrance and smacking him in the face.
Sputtering, Luo Binghe threw the cloth to the side and blinked a few times, grimacing at the mess of dirt and leaves inside his recently cleaned shed.
The wind abruptly stopped, as if a barrier had been erected to defend against it. Luo Binghe took this as an opportunity to peek out of the shed, assuming this was another prank from Ming Fan — a rather odd one, at that.
But there was no familiar snickering from the older disciple and his lackeys, nor was there any presence from someone at all.
His next guess was his Shizun, but Luo Binghe didn't think he'd make such a dramatic entrance for his lowly disciple. His Shizun wouldn't bother to walk to this shed at all.
It must've been a random occurrence from the forces of nature, he finally concluded. Qing Jing Peak was met with frequent gusts of wind, so it made sense.
Except, when Luo Binghe glanced at the ground, his eyes met a bundle of paper held together by a green ribbon. The color of the paper caught Luo Binghe's interest first, being a bright white that he'd never seen before, nothing like the typical cream color of, say, the cultivation manual he'd been using.
Such odd looking paper, Luo Binghe was almost afraid to touch it! He contemplated just letting it sit there, wondering if the wind blew it over here on accident.
But then he realized, if this was meant for Shizun's eyes and someone caught Luo Binghe with it, he'd surely get in major trouble. So, he quickly snatched it up, marveling at how thin and lightweight it was, and slipped back inside the shed, planning to drop it off outside the Bamboo House when no one was around.
A flash of recognizable characters made Luo Binghe pause, however.
Despite not being entirely literate yet, Luo Binghe definitely recognized how to write his own name.
Did that mean these papers were meant for him?
Even if they weren't, Luo Binghe still had a connection to them. So, he allowed curiosity to get the better of him and sat down to read through them.
He cautiously muttered the first sentence to the best of his ability, "Dear Luo Binghe, you may call this one, uh, Cu-…Cucumber?"
Luo Binghe couldn't quite piece together the rest of the name, or a majority of the letter for that matter. The words he did recognize seemed to suggest this was a guide? A guide for creatures? And…plants?
Giving up on trying to read the entire thing just yet, he flipped through the pages, only to be met with odd symbols that were nothing like the characters he was familiar with.
As for the last 7 pages, there were entire pages of nothing but warped words that would be impossible for anyone to decipher. From the few words that weren't warped, Luo Binghe knew it wasn't addressed to him, though the name was also something he couldn't yet read. If the pages were like this, however, was there any point in giving it to the recipient?
Suffice to say, he needed to get to the bottom of this.
Luo Binghe met up with Ning Yingying the next morning, steering clear of Ming Fan by inviting her on a walk before lessons started.
In order to play it safe, Luo Binghe only brought one page to show Ning Yingying, hoping she'd be able to decipher its contents.
But to Luo Binghe's surprise, the moment he handed the paper over to Ning Yingying, her brows shot up as she flipped the page over.
"A-Luo, are you playing a joke," she asked, not offended, just very confused. Luo Binghe wasn't really the type to joke.
Luo Binghe, equally confused, quickly lowered his head, "Apologies, Ning-shijie, is there perhaps something offensive written on the paper? This one can't quite understand all the writing."
A smile crept up Ning Yingying's lips as she patted Luo Binghe on the back and teased, "Oh, A-Luo, you need to work on your pranks! There's nothing written on here at all!"
Luo Binghe snatched the paper away without thinking, wondering if he'd heard wrong, but sure enough, the writing was indeed there. Now he believed Ning Yingying was pulling a prank on him.
"Shijie, this one begs of you, can you please tell me what it says?"
When Ning Yingying opened her mouth, however, the two were interrupted by Ming Fan's dreadful cackle. Just Luo Binghe's luck!
Marching forward, Mingwei Fan sneered, "Yelling at your shijie so early in the morning? Have you forgotten your manners so soon, shidi?"
Ning Yingying stepped in to defend Luo Binghe, arguing, "A-Luo was just playing a little prank on Ying-er, he's not doing anything wrong!"
The moment Ning Yingying mentioned a prank, Ming Fan's smile dropped, his glare now entirely directed on Luo Binghe.
Ah, it seemed he wasn't getting out of this one.
"Prank?" Ming Fan repeated, inching closer every second. "Is that so? Then why doesn't shidi show us this hilarious prank of his?"
Luo Binghe instinctively took a step back, fearing Ming Fan would tear his paper to shreds if he got his hands on it. Or worse, he'd question its origins and tell on Shizun.
"It wasn't a prank," he argued, tightly gripping the paper in his hands. "This one was just about to ask Ning-shijie to show me how to write."
Ning Yingying gaped at him, "Huh? A-Luo was?"
Luo Binghe rapidly nodded, "Yes, it's just…this one was a bit nervous to ask."
A scoff left Ming Fan, "It isn't Xiao-shimei's job to educate you on such basic skills! And what sort of odd paper is that, huh? Did shidi steal it?"
Luo Binghe pressed it close against his chest. "Shizun left it in this one's manual to take notes on," he lied. "Unfortunately, it easily gets dirty because of this one's negligence." He couldn't outright say the real reason was because the paper was so white any speck of dirt stained it, otherwise it would seem he was blaming their Shizun.
Ming Fan was wise enough to realize the real reason, however, which worked in Luo Binghe's favor. An inconvenience like this was a win in Ming Fan's eyes, so he didn't attempt to take the paper away.
"Such a pristine gift from Shizun, shidi better take good care of it," Ming Fan warned, barely taking another glance at it before he stormed off. Lessons were starting soon, so they'd have to follow suit.
Luo Binghe sighed in relief. The only damage this letter saw was wrinkling at the edges. Luo Binghe intended to keep it that way.
He realized the paper was more special than he initially thought. Based on Ming Fan's and Ning Yingying's reactions, they could not see any of the writing on it. If Ming Fan truly could see writing, he definitely would've snatched it up to read it, which made Luo Binghe wonder what sort of technique was capable of concealing messages in such a way.
And why were the letters so important that only Luo Binghe could see what was written?
The silly thought that the Heavens were finally on his side was quickly swatted away. There was no reason for the Heavens to feel pity now.
No, someone else out there was trying to help him. But as for who? Well, Luo Binghe wasn't exactly in the best position to find out.
What he could do was focus even harder on his studies and spend just as much time learning how to read as he did trying to cultivate.
Ning Yingying cheerfully offered to teach Luo Binghe whatever she could during their free time. Apparently, she had a lot of older books that their Shizun used to help with her literature studies. As helpful as that would be, Luo Binghe would prefer to drop dead than have their Shizun discover he was in possession of Ning Yingying's books that he personally gifted.
There were other solutions, however.
In the following days, the two would meet up by a patch of dirt, in which Luo Binghe would use a stick to write characters he was unfamiliar with.
He immediately started with the rest of this writer's name, etching it out as neatly as he could, though he failed to capture the elegance of the original.
Ning Yingying looked over the writing, narrowing her eyes at the words as Luo Binghe looked at her with overwhelming anticipation. She tilted her head to the side and shot Luo Binghe a quizzical look before replying, "Peerless Cucumber? Just where did you get this odd phrase from, A-Luo?"
Luo Binghe wasn't quite sure how to explain it, so he could only shrug his shoulders and say, "I found it in a book. Is there a specific meaning to it?"
Ning Yingying hummed, "Not that Ying-er knows of. Maybe it's just an error or the punchline to a joke. Ah, is this what you were trying to tell me earlier?"
Luo Binghe rubbed the back of his neck. "Er, not quite, but thanks anyways, Ning-shijie."
That night in his lonely shed, Luo Binghe ran his fingers along the characters for Peerless Cucumber, imagining a warmth that he'd gone so long without. Whoever this writer was, they seemed to have written a guide for Luo Binghe, and Luo Binghe only. He couldn't guess the reason, nor did he need to.
Not when something positive had finally presented itself.
A few months later, Luo Binghe was able to understand a good majority of this first letter, save for the indecipherable words on the last 7 pages. He decided to put the guide to the test and venture around the bamboo forest to compare the notes of the flora to the real things. While most of the notes detailed poisonous ones, Peerless Cucumber also included ones that could be used for remedies.
There was a particular one that tended to grow along river streams, able to quickly reduce swelling when applied to the inflamed area. Its murky, brown color made it easy to overlook when placed next to the green of the bamboo and glistening of the river. In fact, the ordinary appearance of this plant made Luo Binghe question its effectiveness once he stumbled upon one.
Following the instructions, Luo Binghe plucked it up, gave it a scrutinizing gaze, and then proceeded to awkwardly rub the petals over one of his recent injuries. If anyone else were to see this sight, they'd certainly think Luo Binghe had lost his mind.
Maybe this Peerless Cucumber had lost their mind? After all, who'd be foolish enough to write to someone as lowly as Luo Binghe?
He used the long stem of the plant to tie it around the injury on his wrist, figuring that if it didn't stop the swelling, he could at least use the thick leaves as a bandage.
Letting that sit for now, Luo Binghe directed his attention to the actual river, squinting his eyes to spot any fish passing by. He wasn't quite up to par with cultivation to effortlessly grab a fish, but he did bring something that the guide said would help.
There was a specific species of fish that enjoyed eating bamboo stalk if it was grounded into small flakes. Luo Binghe procured the flakes and sprinkled it into the stream, anxiously waiting for this special fish to pass by and become distracted enough for Luo Binghe to snatch it.
He wasn't expecting a crowd of silver-scaled fish with green-tipped fins to swarm around the flakes moments later, excitedly gulping up the flakes.
Luo Binghe blinked and then immediately dipped his hands into the water to grab the nearest fish, water splashing all over his robes from the slippery fish squirming in his hands. The other fish swam away from the sudden intrusion, but none of that mattered when Luo Binghe finally had a meal in his hands.
None of that mattered when he untied the plant shortly after and found that his swelling had completely gone down.
None of that mattered upon discovering Peerless Cucumber was right.
A shichen later, Luo Binghe giddily strolled back to his shed with 4 fish bunched in his arms and more of the murky plants. This would be the first decent meal he had in ages, and the beginning of many more meals to come. The guide wasn't just limited to this bamboo-loving fish, but plenty of other ones that he could lure out. It also extended to different creatures found on the peak that were considered edible, albeit slightly unorthodox to kill and eat.
Again, none of that mattered when it came to Luo Binghe's survival.
And for the coming months, Luo Binghe was able to keep up with his fellow martial siblings, despite the various obstacles his Shizun imposed on him. The beatings from Ming Fan and the punishments that once tormented Luo Binghe had all become child's play.
If he returned to the shed with a couple of cuts and bruises, he could easily treat them with the readily available herbs and plants found all over the peak.If Shizun gave the demand to ban Luo Binghe from the dining hall, Luo Binghe could simply hunt for his own meals.
Shockingly, Peerless Cucumber made a comment that Luo Binghe would be able to make anything he cooked incredibly delicious.
"The dining hall pales in comparison to Binghe's cooking," were the exact words in the guide, and attached were the names of meals that Luo Binghe would certainly specialize in.
It was these words of certainty that Luo Binghe admired the most, as if Peerless Cucumber had the ability to see into Luo Binghe's future and assure him that it was filled with success — that he was truly meant for more than being dubbed a lowly beast.
Unfortunately, as much as a blessing the guide was, it didn't stop the others, particularly his Shizun, from noticing something was off. Shen Qingqiu had pretty much set up Luo Binghe for failure, first by pouring tea all over him, and then providing him a fake cultivation manual (which Peerless Cucumber exposed). Though Peerless Cucumber seemed to have the answers for everything, there was nothing in the guide that explained why Shen Qingqiu hated him.
The answer wouldn't come any time soon.
Not when Ming Fan dragged him to the Bamboo House per their Shizun's orders, just for Luo Binghe to be interrogated by Shen Qingqiu, who seemed in a particularly worse mood than usual. His Shizun first questioned if Luo Binghe had even been reading through his cultivation manual, which Luo Binghe couldn't reveal that he didn't because he knew it was a fake.
Luo Binghe had no choice but to lie, dropping to his knees and bowing his head, making a heavy impact as his forehead hit the ground, "This lowly disciple apologizes for his lack of progress in the manual Shizun gifted me. This one promises to do better!"
Luo Binghe dared not raise his head yet, but he did hear Shen Qingqiu flick his fan open and begin to circle around Binghe. With such a long bout of silence, it felt as if his Shizun could see right through all of his lies. Maybe this was a test to see if Luo Binghe would be honest and Luo Binghe had just utterly failed?
When Shen Qingqiu finally spoke, Luo Binghe felt his heart drop. "Ming Fan has pointed out that you frequently sneak around the bamboo forest, carrying all sorts of odd plants and deceased animals to wherever it is that you're sleeping. It is no wonder that you've failed to keep up with the cultivation manual with such distractions."
Luo Binghe pressed his head lower, threatening to sink into the floor at this point. "Apologies, Shizun! This one was not intending to let such things impede my progress. This one shall tone it down."
Shen Qingqiu's fan snapped shut, his footsteps pausing right in front of Luo Binghe. "Tone it down? The beast misunderstands, he shouldn't be doing such things at all. Foregoing your cultivation to waste time around the peak is a sign of disrespect towards this master's teachings!"
"This one is willing to accept any punishment," Luo Binghe responded on instinct, dreading whatever his Shizun had planned this time.
Shen Qingqiu pressed the tip of his fan against the center of Luo Binghe's head, the sharp pain causing Luo Binghe's head to shake, exposing the true fear he was trying so hard to conceal. Shen Qingqiu continued to press harder until Luo Binghe finally squeaked in pain. Though the fan was pulled away, the aching lingered.
Shen Qingqiu let out a hum of satisfaction and called Ming Fan back in, announcing Luo Binghe's punishment, "The beast will not be allowed to venture into the bamboo forest until he has made significant progress in his cultivation manual. Proper discipline will be given by the Head Disciple if the beast disobeys."
"Understood, Shizun," they both said in unison.
Luo Binghe was then dragged out of the Bamboo House, feeling as terribly as he did before Peerless Cucumber's guide arrived. He'd almost forgotten his place in the sect, and this was his punishment for daring to show Shen Qingqiu he was more than a beast.
On the walk back to his shed, Luo Binghe glanced mournfully at the bamboo forest. If he'd known this would happen, he would've stocked up on more herbs. Food would only be a slight issue, seeing as he could still lure out some animals, but the ones with much more meat could only be caught deeper in the forest.
Rubbing his head inside the shed, Luo Binghe sighed and munched on one of the herbs to ease some of the pain. The taste of it was naturally bitter, even more so with this punishment.
Like everything else his Shizun demanded, showing satisfactory improvement was another impossible task. If Luo Binghe wanted to prove he was properly following that fake manual, he would be forced to screw up his cultivation on purpose. The guide provided no work around for this either.
If only Luo Binghe had some way to write back to Peerless Cucumber.
With a sigh, Luo Binghe laid back on a pile of wood and muttered, "Stupid Shizun, stupid peak."
The moment Luo Binghe uttered those words, a high-pitched blaring noise filled his head, ringing over and over.
Gasping, Luo Binghe covered his ears and shot up to his feet, swiveling his head around the inside of the shed before he rushed to the doorway to peek outside. The sound refused to go away. In fact, it was growing louder by the second, threatening to rattle Luo Binghe's brain into pieces.
He slouched against the entrance, arm digging into the wood, as he cried, "Agh, what is this?!"
A demon? A spiritual beast?
The answer presented itself in the form of a blinding blue light, the glow encompassing the entire shed. As Luo Binghe took the time rub his watery eyes and regain his vision, the blaring finally came to a stop. What replaced it was the monotone voice of a female, which Luo Binghe could only describe as sounding similar to the stoic librarian of this peak.
There was no emotion behind it whatsoever as it stated:
[Activation Code: "Stupid Shizun, stupid peak." Loading system…]
The voice seemed to still be echoing in his head. Peerless Cucumber did warn about such potential side effects from the herbs, but that pain relieving one shouldn't have caused this!
Believing he missed some vital information, Luo Binghe went to grab the guide once his vision cleared up, only to freeze when he glanced down and met a floating, glowing blue rectangle with words.
[Unregistered User detected….Searching Database…]
Luo Binghe's first instinct was to smack the rectangle away, believing it to be an intruding spirit. His hand, however, phased right through it, merely making the thing flicker back into place. It certainly had all the traits of a spirit, yet Luo Binghe did not sense any ill intent. In fact, he sensed nothing, as if this rectangle didn't actually exist.
The idea that this was a hallucination was becoming more and more believable.
[Character located! Welcome to the system, Luo Binghe!]
It knew his name?
Obviously! If this was coming from his own head, it wasn't far fetched for this talking rectangle to say his name. It was better to just ignore this odd hallucination, lest he attempt something stupid. But the rectangle insisted on explaining the features of this system, even when Luo Binghe returned to laying back against the wood.
[It is imperative that user, Luo Binghe, listen to the services being offered!]
The rectangle repeated this over and over.
Though Luo Binghe tried his best to tune it out, he gave in once he noticed the volume of the voice was growing increasingly louder each time. How inconsiderate for a rectangle that offered "services," whatever that meant.
"Fine, this one is listening," Luo Binghe grunted, sitting up to glare at the rectangle, which decided to float right up to his face. So much for sulking after his punishment.
What followed was a string of nonsensical words, the voice distorting and the screen flickering rapidly. The characters on the screen displayed the same warped words that covered the majority of the last 7 pages of Peerless Cucumber's guide.
[Because this is a special case,P̴̞̻̀̈́r̷̘͍̭̚ǫ̴͛̈́͝t̶̡͍̖͌̀̀ả̸͍͘g̴̞͉͊͒o̷̰̜̯̓̚n̵̘͌̂̂i̵̫̮̙͌̽̚s̶̡̫̾t̷̨̫̬̃̑ Luo Binghe will have the option to hear support from P̶͕̅̃ṛ̷̱͍̐́ő̵̱̅̕ͅų̶̢͓͆͂̇d̴̟͈̦̿̔̒ ̵̯̽̌̈́Ǐ̶̢̱͉̒̔m̸̫̝̥̍̿m̵̮̐̕ō̷̡̗ȓ̴̬̦͈̏͆t̴͉͋͑a̴̪̾̐̑l̷͙̘͎̓͒ ̷̰͒͝͝ͅḊ̴͓̕͜ḛ̸͗m̷̡̢̠͋̃o̸̦̬̭̓̌n̸̘̤̿ ̵̨̡̹̑͂̿W̵̮̆a̷̰̜͒̈́̍ͅỵ̴̤̱̇̓ r̶͙̘̦̆̄̉e̴̠̹̐́̽a̴̟͉͚̎d̸͎͕̺̀é̸̜͙̯̍̔ŗ̴̠̺͑s̴͍͌̏͑! Would Luo Binghe like to enable this feature?]
Luo Binghe blinked several times, unable to wrap his head around whatever this thing was offering. Whenever he asked for clarification, the rectangle repeated the same garbled words. It was clear he would be getting some type of support if he agreed, but he had no idea from who or what he'd get this support from.
Then it dawned upon him.
Who else had been supporting him this entire time if not Peerless Cucumber?
Even if this was a hallucination in the end, Luo Binghe couldn't pass up the opportunity to get more help from Peerless Cucumber.
"Will this one truly be able to hear from Peerless Cucumber?" He hesitantly asked, feeling a bit stupid talking to a floating shape.
[Username: {PeerlessCucumber} recognized! This system can certainly establish a connection for Luo Binghe. Would Luo Binghe like to send a message?]
Luo Binghe jumped to his feet, rereading the words on the screen several times. It was as if the Heavens had finally answered his prayers!
"Yes! Yes! This one wants to send a message this instant," he exclaimed.
[Certainly! Establishing connection to PeerlessCucumber…connecting to server…success! User Luo Binghe may now send a message using this system's built in keyboard.]
Luo Binghe tilted his head when the rectangle's surface switched to a mixed layout of characters he was familiar with and symbols he'd never seen before. He couldn't even begin to grasp how he was supposed to send a message like this.
"System," Luo Binghe started — was that its name?— "is this one unable to write a letter? This one is unfamiliar with this 'keyboard' layout."
[Apologies, Luo Binghe! This system has failed to recognize the difference in setting. An alternative method is available, of course!]
The rectangle proceeded to stretch horizontally, taking on the shape of a scroll. A brush then appeared out of thin air, floating towards Luo Binghe's hand. Though it emitted the same blue hue as the rectangle, Luo Binghe was able to grab it. When he pressed the brush to the surface of the scroll, he was miraculously able to write! He didn't need to dip the brush in ink or anything.
With hands shaking in excitement, Luo Binghe decided to write a simple greeting first, introducing himself and thanking Peerless Cucumber for the helpful guide. When he made a mistake in his writing, the rectangle conveniently offered to erase it or correct the spelling. The result was a rather heartfelt letter that made Luo Binghe completely forget his earlier frustration.
After reading through it a couple of times to make sure there were no mistakes, Luo Binghe shouted, "Perfect! Can System send it to Peerless Cucumber now?"
[Affirmative! Now converting the letter into text format…sending to server…success!]
Luo Binghe couldn't stop himself from shuffling his feet and giggling into his hands. He wasn't sure why sending that letter made him so anxious. There was always the chance this entire thing was a delusion of his mind, but a part of him was beginning to think this was real.
As was the case with most letters, all Luo Binghe could do was patiently wait for Peerless Cucumber's response, which could possibly take months.
Ah, but what if Peerless Cucumber didn't respond at all? What if they never received Luo Binghe's message in the first place?
What if they wished to keep their identity concealed? Thus, by sending a letter, Luo Binghe had accidentally exposed Peerless Cucumber!
Oh no, maybe this was a mistake after all!
He scrambled for the rectangle, hands passing through it again. "System! Can you retract the letter? Hurry!"
[Apologies, Luo Binghe. There is no way to delete your message now that it has been received by PeerlessCucumber.]
Luo Binghe sputtered, "What?! What do you…what do you mean they already received it? That's impossible! System, this is not the time to joke!"
[This system is not programmed to joke. All statements are factual.]
Luo Binghe swiped at it again in anger and then crumpled down to his knees. What a fool he was, allowing such childish excitement to take over all other voices of reason. And when he thought about the letter he sent, he was beginning to realize how cheesy and immature it would come across to someone as knowledgeable as Peerless Cucumber.
Now, Luo Binghe truly wished this was nothing but a fake dream.
That wish was dashed away when the rectangle made the sound of a bell, followed by the announcement:
[PeerlessCucumber has sent you message! Would Luo Binghe like to read it?]