Chapter Text
Life sucked. That was what Lucifer had decided after waking up as tired as he had gone to bed. He groaned, turning over the mattress to bury his face on a pillow.
“Suffocation will not save you from your duties today, darling.”
“Fuck off” the king mumbled.
A hand came to the back of his head, and for the split of a second he wondered if Alastor was truly trying to suffocate him, and not in the fun way. Instead, fingers buried in his hair and shuffled it softly in a comforting —and strange— gesture from the Radio Demon. Lucifer felt himself melting a little bit at the contact, turning his head enough to be able to look at the other man with one eye.
“I’ll head downstairs and start breakfast.”
Sudden panic filled him at the idea of Alastor leaving, his body moving immediately to hug him around the torso, both his legs grabbing one of the other. The sinner tensed in his arms for about a second.
“Don’t leave me” the devil pouted.
“Dear, this is… unfitting of a king” Alastor stated, looking at him with an eyebrow up. “I must ask that you release me.”
“But you will leave.”
“Indeed. At least one of us should head downstairs to help with breakfast.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
He increased the strength of his hold and the Radio Demon rolled his eyes at the gesture.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Lucifer” he complained. “Now release me, or I’ll start destroying your dear rubber ducks.”
The king opened his mouth wide.
“You wouldn’t”
“You want to bet, sire?”
“Jackass” the devil pouted, finally letting the other man go.
With a satisfied smile, Alastor stretched his limbs before turning to sit on the border of the mattress, neck bending back to look at him.
“I must admit, darling, your… clinginess has become more apparent lately” he pointed out, no inflection in his voice. “Is everything alright?”
Is this a new depressive episode coming? Do you need help with your routine? Those were the real questions hidden behind the sinner’s words. Even with Bel’s therapy and medication, it was still difficult to not feel like a burden when being remembered of his… problems.
“I’m fine” he responded, slightly frustrated but honest. “I just wanted to cuddle.”
Alastor seemed to consider his answer for a moment before getting up and leaving for their closet, humming softly.
“Tonight, maybe” the sinner conceded, making Lucifer smile. “Now, make sure not to come down too late.”
By the time the devil managed to leave their bed, the Radio Demon was long gone from their quarters. Even if he liked to do things ‘old school’ —that was, without magic—, Alastor was rather fast in preparing himself for the day, the only activity in which he spent more time being arranging his hair so the curls that once characterized him in life would be present once again. Which was great, because Lucifer loved to play with those curls!
The kitchen was weirdly empty, only Charlie and Vaggie enjoying breakfast in the long table designated for the staff, seats very close to each other.
“Dad!” his daughter welcomed, smiling widely. “Do you want to join us?”
“Of course, duckling! Just, uh… Have you seen Al?”
“He left about ten minutes ago” Vaggie offered, biting her toast. “I think he had an Overlord meeting this morning.”
Oh, right. The devil had completely forgotten about that. He sighed. A morning without Alastor could just indicate the beginning of a bad day! Hm… Maybe the sinner had a point in him being extra clingy lately…
“That’s alright!” he beamed, planting a weird smile on his face. “So! What do we have for breakfast today?”
As he approached the table, a great amount of different sweets welcomed him, together with fruit cut in small pieces and freshly done toasts. Everything looking fantastic! He was about to take a plate to fill up when a horribly bitter smell hit him. Something came up from his stomach and he had to grab the table in order to keep it down, a hand flying to his mouth anyways. Trying to breathe through it didn’t help, eyes opening wide at the realization of what was about to happen.
“Dad…?”
Yep, nope, he had to run.
The sink seemed incredibly far away, but it was the best option Lucifer could think of, so he launched himself there before emptying the content of his stomach inside.
“Oh, Hell! Dad!” he heard Charlie running towards him as a second wave of vomit left his body. “Are you alright?!”
“Peachy” he managed, the bitterness evident in his voice.
“Fuck, sorry! Of course you’re not alright! What I mean is…”
Great, Luci, you’re treating your daughter like shit right now.
“No no, Char-Char, it’s alright” he said, stomach apparently settling down. “I just… Um, need some water.”
“Water, yeah!”
She moved next to him, reaching the upper cabinets for a glass and moving him carefully to a side so she could clean the sink —disgusting— and fill the glass with water. Lucifer took it carefully, shipping at it slowly and trying to forget the feeling and taste of vomit. Ugh.
“Is it any better?” her daughter asked, eyes looking at him expectantly.
He managed to form a tired smile.
“Y-Yeah” he nodded, finishing the glass. “I don’t know what happened…”
“Maybe you’re getting sick?” Charlie wondered. “It could be a bug, I guess. Although I don’t remember ever seeing you sick, dad.”
“I thought archangels could not get sick” Vaggie added, joining them. “Or any angel directly created by God, for that matter.”
“Uh, yeah, we don’t” Lucifer chuckled, the idea sounding stupid to him. “This is the first time I throw up since…”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, fuck!
“Since ever!” he finished with a nervous laugh. “Which is weird, isn’t it? So, I’ll go upstairs and call Bel for a consult, yeah? Yeah! I will do just that. Bye!”
The king barely saw the surprise in his daughter’s face before he left via portal. With a flick of his hand, he put up the wards around the bedroom up to make sure nobody would interrupt him while he had an existential crisis.
Because it just couldn’t be!
Couldn’t it?
No, it couldn’t!
Sure, Alastor and he never used protection, but what was the point? He was a sinner! Except that Lilith was also a sinner and Charlie existed, right?
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK!
It still shouldn’t be possible! To create Charlie not only the act had taken place, but he had also used his powers! Creating life in Hell was antinatural for an Archangel like him, so he had to actively think about it. And he had never done so with Alastor!
Unless one counted…
Oh, fuck!
Really?! He hadn’t meant it! Well… he had, but only in that moment! And shortly afterwards. And maaaaybe in a couple of other occasions, but that was it! He hadn’t put in it the same amount of thought and intention as he did with Charlie! It shouldn’t count!
And somehow, it still had.
See? This was precisely why he knew life sucked!
In an incredible demonstration of self-control after not getting through Belphegor’s voicemail, Lucifer didn’t make a portal straight to her office. Instead, he appeared at the other side of the door and started to bang on it with a hard fist.
“BEL! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!”
Barely a second after, a minor demon turned the nearer corner with a confused expression on her face.
“Sire? I don’t know how you got here, but…” her mouth closed the moment she realized who she was talking to. “Oh! Lord Lucifer! A-Apologies, I didn’t know you had an appointment with Lord Belphegor!”
“And I don’t, but this is an emergency” he commented, not even turning his head as he banged the door again. “BEL!”
The screams seemed to have the desired effect, as the Sin finally opened the door with a tired expression.
“What seems to be the issue now?” she complained with a yawn. “I was taking my 11A.M. nap.”
“First, IT’S PAST MIDDAY!” Lucifer exclaimed, arms in the air before pointing at her. “Second, WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE?! I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES!”
“My phone is in silence mode.”
That was it. He was going to strangle his friend.
“I’ll take it from here, Dorothy” Belphegor indicated, her receptionist quickly leaving as soon as she could. Then, the Sin moved to a side so Lucifer could enter the room. “For your information, having the phone in silence mode has proven to improve physical and mental health, as it reduces the addiction to screens and allows for a continuous sleep.”
“And what about an emergency?!” the devil groaned.
“Everything seems to be an emergency with you, guys, so I prefer to prioritize myself” the sheep yawned. “Besides, I ended up answering your call, didn’t I?”
“Just because I came banging to your door!”
Belphegor just shrugged, closing the door behind them and putting her wards up with a simple wave of her hand. No chance of being interrupted, now.
“What seems to be the issue, then?” she asked, walking to her desk and taking a seat.
Lucifer opened his mouth. Then closed it.
Shit.
Nervous, he started to pace around the room, eyes fixed on the floor while his hands joined to fidget in front of him. In his hurry, he had forgotten his hat at home, and the chances of his expression being somehow manic were high. The next time Belphegor talked, there was renewed seriousness in her voice.
“Are you ok, Luci? Do you fear to be entering another depressive episode?”
“No” he declared, not wanting it to become once again the focus of the conversation. “It’s not that.”
“Very well.”
Patiently, the Sin waited until the king gathered his thoughts. He should just say it, shouldn’t he? Except that saying it out loud would make it real. And Father, was that a scary thought. But wasn’t it real, already?
He took a deep breath.
“I’m pregnant” he stated, somehow managing to not break through the acknowledgement.
Silence.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Luci, but… What exactly makes you think that?” his friend asked after a couple of minutes. “You know that very precise circumstances were needed to conceive Charlie.”
“Yeah, yeah, but I… I thought about it while… You know” he babbled. “So all the boxes you can think of, were checked even if unconsciously. And this morning I… Threw up.”
A longer silence.
“Holy shit.”
Considering how little Belphegor used to curse, those words were a very clear indication of how surprised she was.
“My thoughts exactly.”
“You just cannot exist without causing chaos, can you?” her friend sighed. “Lay down on the gurney, I need to check for a definite confirmation.”
The king was pretty sure the vomiting that morning was proof enough, but he wouldn’t deny her. Instead, he climbed the damn bed and started to unclip the buttons of his vest and shirt until his flat belly was revealed. Bel’s hands were cold against his skin, but she barely needed to press them down for more than a few seconds before a white glow appeared and she retired back with a new sigh.
“Definitely pregnant” she declared.
Of course he was! It shouldn’t come as a surprise all things considered, but still… Lucifer swallowed, fingers clearly not lingering on the point where his belly-button would be if existing, and dressing up again.
“What do you want to do?” Bel questioned, stepping back to her desk once again.
“I… I don’t know” he admitted.
The amount of thoughts gathering in his mind were too many to be able to process the implications of his options.
“Mm… Take your time to decide” his friend advised with a calm voice. “By my calculations, you’re around four weeks pregnant, so you have more than enough time to decide. This is Hell, so there is no real limit to end the process, although I would recommend not to wait too much.”
The fact that Lucifer already felt protective rewarding his situation was not a good indication, but there was nothing he could do about it.
“I won’t tell you what to do, Luci, and you’re free to tell whoever you want about it” she continued. “But at the end of the day, be sure that this is your decision. Alright?”
He nodded, swallowing down all his worries as he created a new portal back to the hotel.