Chapter Text
Suna Rintarou carries a distaste when it comes to the rain—wet clothes sticking to his skin, grimy street water, having to carry an umbrella, dodging damp pavements and hoping that a car that passes by will not spew water on him. It was frankly too bothersome, especially when he was carrying his expensive equipment.
Whenever he tries to air out his disdain for the weather, often during small talks, he would often receive the opposite sentiment—that the cold weather makes for a cosy day; that the faint sound of raindrops hitting flat surfaces as it plummets down makes for a serene ambience; that the chill breeze allows for warm blankets and hot drinks. He cannot deny that it does sound great, in theory, and if his job allows him to linger within the confines of his room. However, reality is much harsher, and his work forces him to get out of bed and make deals with a temperament that seems to have a vendetta against him.
A vendetta he seemed to have carried from childhood, and one he can trace towards an incident that started it all. One of his most prominent memories had been staying in the countryside with his grandparents during summer break. His parents decided it was not good for him to spend his time cooped up in his room, and that a change of scenery was necessary for his development. For a kid his age, this meant going out and playing—even if there were no playmates. The vast field was his playground, and the warm rays of the summer sun, alongside the cool breeze, were his companions. He could not wait to feel the grass and follow the stones that could lead him to new places to play. It was all that he could think about.
However, one summer, there seemed to be a mix-up with the weather, for there was no sun, nor were there any clear skies. He was cooped inside the house, gazing at the grey clouds forming, and the faint sound of thunder accompanying it. At first, it was only for a day, and it was fine, but then that unfortunate day turned into a miserable week, which extended to another week, and then another, and another, and another, until he realised it had been a horrendous month of unceasing rain. It wasn't too strong to have caused great concern about floods and loss of crops, but it was a natural disaster for a kid who was hoping to spend his time outdoors.
Rintarou was stuck inside. He was forced to watch the droplets from the window pane and use his imagination to play. It was a cruel punishment. It was all that he could do. During dinner, he'd make a comment about the weather, and his grandmother would laugh at him and tell him to see it as a blessing.
"It wasn't too hot, and they were not in danger of heatstroke," she'd say. Rintarou would just mumble a retort back and pick at his food—blessing or not, it was unfair.
However, when all hope seemed to have been lost, one fortunate day, the sun's rays penetrated from the dark clouds and brought light back. It wasn't a gloomy day, and the country seemed to be brimming with colour and life. Upon seeing the changes in his environment. Rintarou was ecstatic, even though there was a tiny part of him that thought it odd that even if the grey clouds had disappeared, there was still a drizzle. Nonetheless, he sprang to his feet and made his way to the genkan, a bit too rowdy but normal for a boy of his age. He arrived and haphazardly looked through the shoe cabinet for his slippers—his grandparents have the habit of rearranging—opening the wooden cabinet with too much force that the shoes inside moved a bit. Upon finding his well-worn slippers, he promptly wore them, and as he was about to go out, he heard footsteps approach him.
"Going to play out?" Rich and inquisitive, with a hint of amusement. His grandfather was always interested in the stories Rintarou would tell after a long day of playing. Listening with full attention to all the places his feet would take him. Much to his grandmother's dismay, his grandfather would be the one to push him to go and do things that might've been risky—not life-threatening—but enough for Rin to somehow end up stuck in a tree. They'd always share whispered moments, even with dried tears and a scraped knee. Rintarou enjoyed spending time with his grandfather. Plus, he'd treat him to some ice cream.
"Yes, jiisan."
"It does look like a nice day," Rintarou continued to look for his slippers.
"But—" His grandfather added, with a new tone in his voice. Rintarou stopped what he was doing as the realisation dawns on him. He knows where the conversation is going as his grandfather equipped a familiar tone, the same one he used on him when he lost his vabo-chan plushie, and they couldn't find it. It was also the same one that he used to break to him regarding the divorce of his parents, and how he would not be seeing his father for a while. It was a sweet tone that would ease his disappointment, push him to a small acceptance of things that were out of his reach.
He wasn't able to finish his statement as the look on his grandfather's face was enough for him to understand.
"I think your baasaan needs help in the kitchen. Your favourite treats aren't going to make itself, "He knows there was no use to reason.
"Okay" Rin murmured. With a heavy heart, he placed his slippers back into the cabinet and made his way to the kitchen. Not bothering to look back at his grandfather.
The moment he entered the room, the sweet smell of boiling red beans and the nutty scent of roasted sesame immediately welcomed him. He wasn't hungry—as it had only been a few hours past lunch —but the idea of oshiruko for his afternoon snack was enough for his stomach to be hungry.
He has to admit, it eased his disappointment for a bit. His grandmother must've known what he was about to do if she was already preparing a meal to make him feel better.
"Here, you can help me with forming the shiratama dango. You can make them as big as you want."
Rintarou nodded and went to wash his hands before sitting at the table. He oiled his hands a bit to make sure it doesn't stick, and he started the mixture into smaller circles. His grandmother must've noticed how glum he looked and decided to distract him by asking if he'd want to listen to the stories he was fond of. Every time he recalls this memory—or most memories from childhood—he'd be sitting at the wooden table, as his grandmother fussing near the stove; a faint sweet or savoury aroma, depending on what he remembered her making that time. However, one thing that is consistent is that when he finds himself navigating moments from his childhood, was the faint floral scent that followed her and the sweet and calm voice she'd accompany him with. It never fails to give him a sense of comfort, as he recalls her telling her stories—the helpful and yet mischievous fox creatures running along the temples, wind gods and the propensity to make various things fly, and the playful water spirits that he should always be wary of, especially when the sun has set and he finds himself alone, wandering near the stream—that Rintarou knows, now, by heart.
"I know you want to play out, but I don't think it's for the best for now."
She'd tell him while her hands continued to work on rolling the tiny balls. It seemed easy, but for a kid who is figuring out how to control his movements, his turned out to be a bit wonky and disfigured. Nonetheless, he continued, trying to reach his grandmother's pace.
"But why, the sun is out. It's just a little rain. It's unfair," Rintarou reasoned back.
"Well, do you want to know why we can't go out?" His grandmother stopped and stared at him, crinkly eyes gleaming with much life.
"I'll tell you, if you promise to believe me," She continued.
Rintarou nodded. While still saddened by his grandfather locking him, he carried a minuscule hope that by the end of the story, the weather would have cleared up, and he'd be free to go out. He might not be one to fully believe, but he enjoys hearing it from his grandmother. It was better than sitting in silence.
"See, back in the day, when the gods and different mythical creatures were freer to walk alongside our ancestors, there were two lovers, both from different realms. One found their place among the sun—it was a bright place and a bit dry. The other one lives amongst the shade. Within the soft and calm grey clouds, only arriving when the people from the bright realm decided to go to a different place.
"Uh-huh," Rintarou said, unfamiliar with the story.
"Lovers who can only meet when the conditions allow them to be—when the sun and the rain meet in the middle. Often happening when there seems to be an endless downpour, so the only intervention would be the sun shining through. As the two realms are distracted as to whose turn it is to cast their might, the two lovers would find a way to meet each other. It was their only chance, and they do not know when they will meet again. They say they would often do a ritual to showcase their love, and that the ancient Gods took pity on them and only ended the dispute once the lovers were back. To these people, the ancient Gods were benevolent; it wasn't the lovers' fault that they were bound to be separated, nor was it a crime to fall in love. So even if they were successful once, they would do again and again, as long as the Gods allow it.
While others would say otherwise, that the reason these keep happening is that the lovers could never complete their union and that the ancient Gods immediately stop it from happening. That is why we often have those odd weather days, because the lovers will continue fighting, and they will keep on trying because it also allows them to be together, even if it's just for that moment. There are a lot of different versions of the story, and we may never find out what really happens. The most we can do is give them grace to celebrate their union— even if this was allowed and blessed by the elder gods, or if it was done in secret. Both sides do mention their union occurring, and you wouldn't want a stranger to appear on your wedding day, now would you, little Rintarou?" His grandmother would look at him, as if excited about a secret that he would never find out.
As young as he was when he first heard this story, it went from one ear to the next. Marriage was something only adults do and all he cared about was being able to go out and play. He feigned listening and continued to help with the food, as he conjured ways to sneak out once he found the perfect timing where both his grandparents would be occupied. This happened in the form of being left alone to make snacks, and a phone call from his grandmother's friend. His grandfather had retired to his room to rest. Once he heard the muffled voice of his bacchan, he made his way to the genkan.
Rintarou made sure to walk quieter, softer, and take even greater caution. Making sure to perk his ear up to the sudden changes in the house. One of the things he did not like about the ancestral home was how even the tiniest bit of noise would not go unnoticed, but now it was to his advantage. Whenever the conversation slowed down, he would also slow down and wait for the cues that his grandmother had ended the call. However, the sound of the phone being returned to the mount never arrived. The conversation between the two seemed to have been quite engaging. The moment he arrived in the genkan, he looked for his slippers and put them on. Ever-so slowly and carefully, he made his way out the door—heart racing fast with every step—and the moment he was out, a breath of relief escaped his lips.
The smell of rain mixed with dirt was never the most pleasant smell but at that moment, he was relieved to get a whiff of it. His heart was jumping for joy—he was finally out. His brain was thinking of many different places he could—he could skip stones on the creek, he could finally attempt to climb a tree in the middle of the clearing, or even walk around the shrine he had come across, but didn’t have time to explore. The possibilities were endless, but considering he was doing it behind the backs of his grandparents, he knew he had to be careful with what he would do. He’ll skip the more strenuous activities and just take it slow. The tiny clearing, past the rice fields, and the depths of the forest. It’s one of his favourite places to relax.
It wasn’t until he found himself trekking on an unfamiliar path that he felt regret. He knew he should have followed the warning voice—the sweet tone of his grandmother—to go back home. Maybe it was his childish pride and fear of repercussions that led him to continue. Even as a kid, his belief in himself and the knowledge he had of the forest weighed more than apologising.
The more Rintarou continued, the more he found the path odd. His feet knew where to go, but his eyes were faced with something unknown. The trees were taller than what he was used to, even if it was a possibility that they might have grown while he was away. Oddly enough, the shade of the grass and the ferns were eerily wrong. The shade of green was too bright, bordering on comical. The realisation left a pit in his stomach, which grew gradually with every step.
The only thing giving him assurance was that the sun was out, and it provided enough light if things were to go south. As he continued his walk, he felt something wet land on him. Rintarou looked up and was greeted with a clear blue sky, but he noticed there were dark clouds forming—even if the shine was shining. It was clear that it won't be long until the rain comes, and he'd have to find shelter soon. Rintarou decided that it was time for him to go back; it wasn't worth continuing, but the moment he looked back on his path, it dawned on him that he was lost. None of the trees looked familiar, nor was there a clear dirt road that he was crossing.
The pit fully enveloped his stomach, and he finally allowed himself to feel the dread that was slowly creeping up on him. He decided to go back to where he came from, and the moment he stepped back, the rain decided to come in slow drops. He let out a sigh of relief, thankful that at the very least it wasn't a full shower. Nonetheless, he was starting to feel wet, and the chill of the forest was getting to him.
It does not matter if the sun was high up, and it's ray would cast on him—there was no warmth from them. His hands are about to shake, his knees would occasionally buckle, and yet he tries to keep his strong facade and continue. The only thing on his mind was going home, and the regret of not listening to his grandparents. Karma for bad children who do not listen, he didn't believe in them, and yet, he should've known better. The first thing he will be doing if he ever manages to survive will be to apologise to his grandparents. He continued to walk, aimlessly, hoping for at least anything to spark recognition in his head, but it seemed to be a dead end after a dead end.
Every time, he was sure that he was supposed to reach the clearing, indicating the barrier between the forest and his home, there was another path in front of him. One of the thoughts running in his head was that this was leading him deeper into the woods, but he decided not to dwell on it, as there were other things that bothered him. One of which is that the forest was quiet—too quiet. The past few weeks have been loud, the raindrops, the sound was too unbearable, but even though he was out, it seemed too silent.
The forest, as he had come to know, the number of times he had played in it, would teem with different sounds. From the buzzing of the insects, to the subtle brush and swaying of trees, to even the faint sound of water running. There was always noise to be heard. The cicadas would never fail to make their presence known; there would be scampering from different animals, and even the chirping of the birds would be heard. Rintarou knows that the forest is alive and teeming with life; he knows that he is often not alone whenever he goes on his adventures. It was an undisputed fact—until today, when every step is accompanied by an eerie sound of nothing. Not even the raindrop made a sound when it reached the ground.
Rintarou wanted to cry out, but whenever he tried to open his mouth, a sound failed to go out. It seems like there is something that is physically stopping him from shouting into the nothing. Trying to calm down his nerves, Rintarou continued to move forward; he walked even if he wasn't sure where he would go, and if the trek would even end.
He continued to walk even if he felt the muscles in his leg constrict, forcing him to stumble and fall. As he hissed in his pain, he suddenly remembered how his grandmother would often massage him every time he felt an ache in his body, how he would end up falling asleep to the soothing smell of eucalyptus and mint. The memory was so powerful that he was able to faintly smell it, and it made him want to cry, even more with the frustration of his inability to let out his emotions. The best he could do was close his eyes, focus less on the pain, and take a deep breath, one that is deeper than the illusion of the eucalyptus and mint, which are replaced with the real scent of wet soil, old branches, and trees.
Once he was able to gather himself, Rintarou stood up and moved forward.
It was all still tall trees, with familiar and unknown (wrong) flora. It doesn't matter if he decides to change his path or recount his steps; every direction that is open to him all looks the same. He even believed in the possibility that he was walking in circles, if it weren't for the fact that he hadn't seen the tiny mark he had left in one trunk that he had passed. At least, he knew he was going somewhere. There was a tiny bit of optimism that he was going somewhere. However, after having no idea of how far or how long he had been walking, there was also the fear that led him deeper and deeper, and he would not make it out.
Still, the sun was out, and while the drizzle of rain continued, he knew he had to continue. He was bound to reach somewhere before things fully went dark.
By stroke of luck, something finally caught his ear. It was a faint sound that was too proper to have been random noises. It was playing a melody, and while he wasn't familiar with the piece, the fact that it wasn't a random one and instead was music meant that there was a person nearby.
He knew it wasn't wise to veer off the path, but the desperation to find another person who could maybe help him coursed through him. The sudden rush of energy and hope coursed through him. Rintarou sprinted to the sound. The seemingly empty forest seemed to have transformed. What had felt like a barred and deserted place has suddenly shown another sign of life.
As he continued to move past the unknown parts of the woods, he came across more odd things—things that he didn't expect nor saw before. There were wooden posts bearing a language that he wasn't able to decipher, and there were unlit lanterns—still new.
Yet there was no one around.
He continued to follow the sound.
There has to be someone whom he could ask for help.
The closer he got, the louder the noise, and the more he could pick it apart. There was the big thud of the taiko and some sort of string instrument. There was also an instrument he could not name, like a bell, as there was a ringing noise. There are still no signs of life, nor were there even signs of the instrument. He felt the hair on his skin rise as his brain tried to think of reasons why it was possible. He was even going as far as to accept that someone just left a radio player with around.
It was not possible for the forest to be making these sounds when there are no instruments, and there are no people to play.
Nevertheless, the sound was getting louder, aggressive, and harsher; his heart mirroring the thud—fast, erratic. He already had a high inkling that the path he took in the forest was off, and he was where he wasn't supposed to be, and now he was sure that he was somewhere wrong. None of what is happening to him is making any sense at all, but he cannot stop. He'd rather continue towards the sound instead of staying still,and wait for night to come.
He'd rather do the best he can to get out of his situation than just accept that all was lost and wallow in pity for the soil to claim him.
Rintarou continued, and then he finally reached the clearing. The aggressive noise seemed to have softened to a calm tune. It felt less aggressive and more serene. But that does not mean the feeling of danger was gone. He knows better than to allow himself to relax—he made the mistake of following it hopes to see another human. He'd rather be sceptical now.
As he looked around the clearing, he saw red wooden poles aligned. Each has a lantern with them. There seemed to be a pathway within the middle. He moved forward to inspect it. The grass wasn't overgrown as it was on the side, and wildflowers sprouting all over the place. While the sky has settled into the soft dusk—it wasn't as bright as when he was walking in the woods. He looked back the wooden posts and saw that there was a faint light emitting from the lanterns. He never noticed it earlier, that even with the—now—softer drops of rain, the lantern seemed not get wet at all. The poles seemed not bear any signs of water.
As he was moved closer to touch one of the lanterns, he noticed movement from behind. He immediately tried to hide behind one of the poles. From where he was located, he could see that there were two figures walking. Looking at them clearly, they seemed to be humanoid in body, but their faces were hard to figure out. Every time his brain and eyes tried to focus, it seemed like something was blocking him from understanding what he was truly seeing.
They were approaching the path, and Rintarou knew he had to hide. He found himself behind a pole, he tried to look at the approaching figures, and he was able to discern the details. He can clearly see one in a shiromuku, and while they were in a grassy field, it seemed that the clothing was able to maintain its white sheen. As for others, they seemed to be wearing a montsuki haori hakama.
Everything was falling into place: the reason for the music, the way the poles are arranged, and the paper lanterns. It made sense why there was a makeshift altar at the front. He was crashing a wedding, and suddenly he remembered the story his grandmother told him—the lovers who are to be wed in secret, wherein no one but they are the sole witnesses to their union.
Thinking about what to do, he can hear the footsteps. He knows it best not to look out for now, but he knows they are about to make their way to the altar to announce their marriage.
He held his breath when he heard the footsteps come near, and didn't stop until he knew they were far—when they finally made it to the altar. When he felt safe again, Rintarou tried look at them again, to see what was happening.
He saw them in front of the altar, standing and facing each other. He can hear them, but he has no idea what they are saying, as what he can hear are garbled voices. They seemed to be speaking in a tongue that he could not understand. Rintarou knew this was the part where they exchanged their vows, and he knew that he was not supposed to be there—no one was supposed to be. His grandmother stressed that the unions of these beings are to be done only between the two of them. In all of her stories, humans were cautioned to be careful, as dealing with supernatural beings does not always end well. That it was always better not be seen nor heard. He wasn't sure if they could sense his presence, but he knew better than to stay until the end.
Rintarou was told to do a lot of things to prepare himself when interacting with supernatural creature—if he was lost, he can wear his shirt backward as to not be played upon the guardians of the forest and find his path; if he was unsure if food that received was actually food, he should make sure to squeeze a lemon or add vinegar on it to make sure that it was not an illusion; and even to bite his tongue, if he finds himself in a dream paralysis and faced to faced with a creature about to devour him.
However, when it came to what he is facing right now, he is blanking out. Maybe it was the fear, he found himself frozen. He tried to move, but it was hard. Every fibre of his being was telling him his limbs to move so that he could easily slip away,backward behind another wooden post and discreetly leave.
As much as it was difficult, Rintarou willed his body to break out from what was stopping him.With enough strength, he was able to push himself out of his hiding spot. However, he made a mistake of moving too hard, not calculating his strength, which exposed him from his hiding spot. There was a small window of relief when he realised he didn't make a ruckus, but it all went away when he looked back at the couple, to see that the bride was staring at him—inhuman and calculating.
Rintarou was able to see them clearly, that while they were humanoid in body, they had animal heads, and the stare of a fox is piercing. Rintarou felt like his head was dipped underwater; the world around him blended into a thick haze. He can hear something in the background, and yet it all came out as garbled and undecipherable. When he felt the adrenaline course through his veins, he finally had control of his limbs—even if some parts of him still felt like he was floating—he ran.
The moment he was able to turn his gaze back to where he came from, he made sure he did not look back. He did not stop. He just kept on running. The fear of what awaits him if he did look back fuelled him. He heard the story of a poor fellow who did and lost his wife; he was scared of what he might lose if he did.
By stroke of luck, he was able to find himself out of the forest. He wasn't sure how it happened, but his endless running had brought him back to where he had started. The joy of relief coursed through him—from his tired and sore feet, to the buzz in his fingertips, and to the lightness in his chest.
As he was walking on the way to his house, he was greeted by the concerned faces of his grandparents, uncle, and aunt. Distress was apparent, sweat clung to their clothes, hair was in disarray, and they were carrying a flashlight. It only now occurred to him that it was dark out. He was sure, it only been a few minutes from when he was in the clearing to now—there was still light.
He looked down at the stone path and saw that the ground was wet, and there were some puddles on the uneven pavement. It seemed that the drizzle turned into a full downpour, which was another thing he found breaking his brain, as he was sure that while there was a drizzle, it wasn't strong enough for puddles. The forest was mostly dry today.
Rintarou was suddenly enveloped by his grandmother, the warmth of her embrace and the faint smell of her floral perfume. He hugged her tighter, allowing himself to finally embrace the fear of what he had experienced, now that he was in no immediate danger.
"Where were you?" Concern was evident in her voice.
"In the forest," Rintarou replied, muffled as all that he wanted to do was stay in her embrace and sleep the day off.
"I won't ask anymore, but I am happy that you are back." Was all she replied. Rintarou clung to her side and made sure not to let go, in fear that this was all just an illusion, and he was still stuck, alone, and lost.
As he saw the outline of their house, with the light all lit up, even if they were all outside. He was able to feel relief. At the same time, there was the guilt of causing a ruckus for something he could've avoided. The moment they entered the home, he finally allowed himself to be calm. He accepted that he was safe now; he was out of the woods and away from the vicinity of mystic beings. His grandmother told him to wash up and change into fresh clothes. At this time, dinner would have already been served, but it seems that they waited for him to come back so that they could all eat together.
While they were seated on the floor, eating dinner, his grandfather and uncle told him that they couldn't find him anywhere. He described to them where he had been—omitting the wedding he had seen—and even told them about the array of lanterns and wooden posts. They just looked at him, confusion in their eyes, but they knew better than to press him about it. He told him that he was just playing where he would usually play, something both were familiar with, as they would join him occasionally. But they told him that they had checked, and there was no sign of him. Probably noticing his distress, they decided to stop asking him and decided to talk about something else.
While there was still the lingering feeling that something went wrong that day, he decided to brush it off. From then on, he took precautions when it comes to going into the woods. He made sure to heed their warnings. His family never brought it up, and he also knew better than to ask. He was scared of what he might learn if he did.
Rintarou spent more time indoors, helping his grandparents around the house. He was set on burying the memories of that event.
As he grew older, the memories became fuzzy. His grandmother never stopped with the stories, and they all seemed to mesh into one another. He had experienced more stressful situations—high school and his tumultuous teenage years of hormones and figuring himself out; life in college which seemed like the extended version of also figuring himself, except this time, there was the added question of what to do in the future; and of course the period of entering adulthood, with even more issues and problems in the form of having to navigate the world of employment while keeping himself sane, and maintaining his relationships.
The memories of his childhood— playing and experiencing the summer, enjoying the woods, his grandmother's house, and the food— stayed in that one corner of his brain. It was a happy corner in general, and yet he knew he could never truly forget what happened. No matter what he did, it would always stand out from the other memories of summers in the country. While the finer details might have blurred away into oblivion or merged into other memories, he can still remember the wedding, the lovers, and the gaze.
He was tagged as an uninvited guest at the ceremony, and a target was placed on him.
His grandparents had always told him of blessings from the rain, but if it were a blessing, why did it seem that it had it out for him, because ever since he was found running out of the forest, the rain seemed to not just carry water but also a bad omen, a reminder from the bride to never forget his crime.
For every failed relationship and a broken heart, he would see that there was the light downpour of rain while the sun was high up in the sky—similar to the fateful day. Not only that, but there was also the sensations that he felt, like he was transported to the very moment. He can feel the hair on his skin rise, his legs feeling heavy, and his head feels like he is underwater. His senses would go haywire, and there was a pit in his stomach. Even if he was in the city, the faint smell of wet soil and grass would appear. He will make his move towards his current lover, or the other will go to him. They will say something, and it will come out as a garbled noise that will turn into words he could understand—"We should break up," or "I don't see a future with you anymore." Rintarou would try to reason out and beg for a second chance. He was that desperate once, when he was still clueless about the future heartbreak patterns that he would face.
Once he realised that it was not just a coincidence, he was able to see it for what it truly was—a curse.
A punishment for a peeking into a scared ceremony; for being the sole witness to a private event that humans aren't permitted to see. However, and in defence of himself, he was only eight, and he wanted to go out play and not see their stupid wedding. Rintarou recalled a lesson from his class, stories from a different time, of these powerful creatures who carry a humongous pettiness in their heart, and the poor mortal that is on the receiving end.
A wedding carries chaos wrapped in expensive silk, sake, and flowers. He'd witnessed meltdowns from both bride and groom alike. He'd witness an unhappy ceremony where the dislike was evident in the false promises of the vows. He'd seen how stressful it could be when meeting the clients before the event, and sitting while noticing how one partner was clearly overworking every detail, and the other would be indifferent about it. He'd see one of them make a suggestion that they absolutely wanted but would end up deflated because their partner said something horrible about the suggestion—clearly unable to read the room. He found it interesting to see how expensive a lifetime of misery can be. How much money goes to to celebrate something that neither couple even has in the first place.
However, underneath it all, he'd also seen how it could be a celebration of love. He'd seen once where the affection does shine, and the couples are sincere, with it being a celebration of their love. He'd seen how families come together and enjoy the moment, how friends would toast, tease, and relive the memories they shared with the couple. He'd seen how support could really make a difference and how it wasn't all too bad.
Rintarou himself carries a sort of indifference with it—it really was a formality and not a measure of love between two people, if such a measure does truly exist. Some days he thinks about how it would be nice to be one at the end of the camera and not take the picture.
But reality always strikes back, and he knows now that with a curse, he might never get it.
Sometimes he feels angry; it is much easier to be angry at unforeseen things instead of accepting the fact that they weren't compatible with his partner at the time. No matter how much it had happened, the pain of realising the person he loved doesn't love them anymore; that the future and the promises they planned are now left to be dispersed by the wind.
He can't believe how mystical beings can be vengeful. But maybe, he does understand to an extent. He does see it with his own eyes—brides driven by stress, to grooms acting out, even guests can also add to the emotional chaos, and sometimes wonder if they should also submit themselves to stress and high emotions for a certificate. The way people can be very meticulous about who is invited and who shouldn't be, what actions are allowed and what aren't. He'd even been to ones where children were not permitted, and those guests who tried to bring in their kids would often cause strife with whoever decided to implement that rule.
The only difference being that with people, it stops once the wedding and the reception have been done, but it seems that given the circumstances of a wedding cursed to never happen, and a union that is never to be completed, means that for him, it will also never end.
They also have capacity for cruelty because it always happens when Rintarou least expects it; when he finally deludes himself into thinking that maybe things will be different, and that he has finally paid his dues. However, that fantasy shatters, and he finds himself cold, wet, and with a pit in his stomach—only this time he is accompanied by a broken heart.
Rintarou finds himself lost and submerged in water. Everything feels garbled and murky. His feet are moving, but he doesn't know where they are going. There was a drizzle, and his clothes were clinging to him. He ends up standing in front of an unknown place, with a wooden post and a paper lantern. It is quite ironic, as if still lost in the woods, and about to witness a love between two beings that he should not have seen.
Except this time, he was now 28, and a photographer for the Raijin Wedding Services. He enjoys going on trips and looking for new places to add to his growing social media account. Currently, he is lamenting a broken heart and maybe a broken camera after getting dumped in the rain, without an umbrella. Of all the days that the weather decided to be unpredictable. The drizzle was supposed to happen next week, his weather app said so, but it seems that the science-backed prediction can still be debunked because of forces outside of his control that are out to get him.
His current craving is a miso ramen, with a thick and umami broth to soothe his hunger, but he didn't have the time to go to his favourite restaurant, and he wanted to eat something. He needed the energy to make the commute home. He can make out a sign of the building he was standing in front of, and it seemed to be a restaurant. It doesn't matter the cuisine, the only hope is that it won't be too expensive. He entered the restaurant. He heard a bell ring, indicating his entrance. He would have been embarrassed with his appearance—slightly drenched, with his clothes clinging weirdly to his body—especially as the worker looked at him.
It was too late to go back out, and his heavy heart outweighs whatever embarrassment he would feel. He was a bit lucky that it was a bit empty, and there was only one worker who could see how pathetic he looked. The restaurant must be smaller than he thought.
He had made his way towards the empty spot that overlooks the kitchen, which is located near the counter. Maybe the warmth from the kitchen might help with drying himself, and his poor camera that he was scared to check the damaged. In front of him was the laminated menu, and he tried to focus on what to order. Lost in the choices, he was ignorant of one until he heard a voice that brought him back to reality.
"Are ya okay?"
Rintarou just stared at the person in front of him. "Just peachy."
It came out snarkier than what he had intended, but that didn't deter the person in front of him. He is cute.
"So what do ya want?" the other person asked.
A way to free himself from his curse. Rintarou tried to bite his tongue to stop himself from making more remarks, but it was no use. "Do you offer services to mend a broken or maybe a discount?"
A chuckle came out from the other, and amusement was evident from their grey eyes. "No, but I can offer ya a good meal combination, "
Rintarou took that as a good sign. "Are you sure you can help me?"
"Depends, what type of heartbreak?"
Rintarou acted like he was thinking, "Well, we dated for a year, and were about to move in together. He also met my family already, and was expecting him for the holiday."
"Ah, then I suggest the fried sampler with the yakitori, and a pint of beer."
"Ok, I'll have that then. "
Rintarou expected to wait long but was surprised when the other came back, bringing the food and two beers. The worker must've misheard him. However, as the other proceeded to take the empty seat next to him, he realised who the other beer was for.
Catching Rintarou off guard. "Is this allowed?"
"What'd ya mean? Have anything against sitting next to a restaurant worker?"
"No, I meant like don't you have any other customers or tasks to do?"
"Well, if ya look around you, there aren't many customers at this time." The other replied.
"Slow day, huh?" Rintarou said as he took a sip of the beer—it was refreshing, and not as bitter as expected. It was good.
"More like we were closing up, but someone decided to walk in, even if the closed sign was out."
"Shit, what?" Rintarou finally looked around, embarrassment apparent, as he was the only person there. The tables were bare, and the chairs were piled on the side. The worker was clearly in the middle of closing down. Embarrassment fills him.
"I'm sorry. I'll make sure to finish this quickly. Never mind, the discount that I was asking for—I'll pay full price. "
"I didn't say I'd offer ya a discount." The guy was teasing him, and it made Rintarou feel a bit better. The casual air between them helped ease the embarrassment for a bit. It truly was his luck that not only did he get his heart broken, but he was also making a fool out of himself—well, at least it was just him, and this guy that he had to admit wasn't bad looking.
He should probably not waste the other person's time, especially if he was still on the clock. Rintarou immediately took a bite of the fried skewer—it was a sausage—and immediately took a bigger sip of the beer. It was a bad idea as the liquid immediately decided to go down his throat and lead him to choke.
In the middle of his coughing session, the other person spoke. "Ya don't have to finish quickly. I'm actually quite intrigued about hearing your story—" who drank his beer before continuing, "— so what happened with the girlfriend?"
"Boyfriend, actually—you're quite nosy. " Rintarou looked at him, gauging the other's reaction. However, it seems that he does not mind his relationship preferences. Nonetheless, there was still a bit of guilt gnawing at him—hospitality is not an easy job, he knows that from experience.
"Are you sure this ok with the owner? I mean, I might get you in trouble when you should be closing."
"Lucky for ya, you're talking to him right now."
Rintarou let out a sigh of relief. A small sign of positivity was something he really needed.
"Lucky for me indeed, I won't have to worry about someone losing their job because of me." Rintarou smiled at him.
"So, really, no discount to a sad person that just got out of a relationship?"
"Not usually. "
"Not even if they technically forgot their wallet at home and all they can offer is their maybe broken camera." It was a lie, but with the alcohol proving worthy to be known as a liquid courage, the shame-inducing voice in his head was quiet.
"Well, if they offer me the story,"
"As I said, nosy." Rintarou took another sip.
The restaurant owner smiled in return. "Yer the one that wants a free lunch. Plus, having been in this field of work for a long time, I'm used to hearing stories from my regulars—it's part of building the relationship, ya know."
Rintarou stared at him, analysing the person in front of him. He already thought he was cute, but when he did smile, he had that boyish charm that would've made him swoon. Maybe if circumstances were better, and if they had met during a different time, he would've shot his shot, but today, today, he will just enjoy his food and beer.
"Well, I am not a regular," The yakitori was perfectly charred, and the marinade was perfect. He made a mental note to remember the restaurant and order this again.
"Well, not yet, but who knows—regulars don't often start as regulars. They often start like ya. They'd come in with a heavy heart and an empty stomach. Hoping to share the pain towards someone who will listen. It just so happens that my food is good enough to also nourish them from the inside,"
"Okay. fine, " Rintarou took one more sip of his beer and finished the whole pint.
"The skewers and beer better heal my broken heart, and you better listen because I will not repeat the embarrassment." The food already did because the pain has lessened, and while it is temporary— the real challenge when it's late in the night and he is alone in bed—it is welcome.
"Do ya want another one?"
"I need another one," In hopes that as his tongue loosens, the memories of his failed romance won't induce a full-blown alcohol crying session under fluorescent lights, inside an empty restaurant.
Rintarou waited for the other person to come back with his now full pint before he started. "First of all, do you believe in curses—" Rintarou squinted towards the menu lying in front of him and was able to see the name of the place he entered—"Mr Onigiri Miya?"
"Really, not even asking for my name?"
"Does it matter—I was thinking this is more of those one time thing, where I get to pour out my heart to a stranger, and due to the mystery, it won't haunt me in the middle of the night that I literally just told all that to someone I just met, " Plus, who knows if he will be offered the judgment-free treatment after hearing the insane theory Rintarou has about his life.
"Fair enough, and well, I did grow up in the countryside. It was quite hard not to,”
"Well, that makes it easier." Another sip, bitter taste, fizzy texture, adrenaline rush, strength, and a good-looking stranger eager to listen to him.
"I think I'm cursed." Onigiri Miya raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue.
"See, for whatever reason, something bad always happens whenever it rains,"
Onigiri Miya still made no reply, and he felt a bit worried. "I know it sounds odd, but you have to trust me on this,"
Onigiri Miya softened his stare, probably noticing the nervous tone in Rintarou's voice.
"Ya don't have to worry, I've heard crazier stories. Not to mention, but my brother and his boyfriend are on the more superstitious side, I've had my fair share of actions to appease different gods and deities,"
After hearing that, a sense of relief washed over Rintarou.
"I was saying, I think I'm cursed, and one of the triggers for misfortune is whenever it rains."
"Just like today?" Onigiri Miya asked.
"Exactly like today. I made sure to check the weather, and I often did. Today was supposed to be a clear and sunny day—I checked three different weather forecasts, and even called my psychic—slash—astrologer for my fate this month-"
"Ya have a psychic?"
"Yes. I know it sounds weird and odd, but when you're cursed, you'd have to think of ways to work around it. I haven't found a way to break the curse, but at least I'd have a heads up if it was going to strike." Rintarou paused to drink and then continued.
"I didn't bother checking the weather report that day, or even if I did, the weather often changes, so I didn't think too much about it, but lo and behold, the moment I stepped out of the building—I had a work assignment— I was welcomed with grey skies and raindrops. I immediately checked my phone, opened the weather forecast app, and you know what I saw?"
"That it was going to be raining all day,"
"Yes, that it was going to be pouring rain today. The next thing I knew, my phone immediately and thus ending my relationship of almost two-years. It was good while it lasted,"
And yet Rintarou can't deny how much it hurt. He allowed himself to think that maybe this would be different and that maybe just this once, he would be forgiven for witnessing something he shouldn't have done.
Breaking the silence. Onigiri Miya started to speak. "So rain, huh? Is it the trigger or is it the sign?"
"I don't know—maybe both? " Rintarou continued to eat. The combination of beer and skewers might be simple, but it was what he needed. Not to mention, Onigiri Miya wasn't too bad of company, there was something about his presence that brought a source of calm and comfort—maybe that's why he has a lot of regulars, as he proclaimed. Rintarou wouldn't mind being one if he got to enjoy moments like this, occasionally. Maybe with a better context.
"I just know—if it's raining and I get a pit in my stomach that feels like I just ate concrete. I haven't eaten concrete, by the way, just in case you already thought about weird habits I have now that you know I feel like I'm cursed, and that I have a psychic," Even Rintarou couldn't help but feel like he was sounding insane. He hopes that Onigiri Miya doesn't notice the warmth on his face. Onigiri Miya just chuckled.
Rintarou continued. "Then there was the faint smell of wet soil and grass. A smell that you only smell when you're in the country. Then there is also nausea that comes with it, and I feel like I'm thrown underwater. It doesn't start all at once but gradually, and so dread sets in. I know it will happen. I don't want it happen, but what can I do to stop it from happening?" He didn't intend for his voice to become smaller, but with feeling defeat, it was hard to keep a stable volume.
Noticing the heavy air between the two of them, Rintarou steered the conversation by adding. "However, after every rain, the sun seems shine brighter, and I somehow feel lighter. Sure, almost anything can feel better when compared to a broken heart, but at least there is something I can look forward to,"
It wasn't a lie, and things do go well for him after a breakup—he won an award in college, he aced his finals, he landed his dream job, and he got a raise. All of which happened after he had his heart broken, but that's something he keeps for himself. It might have been a fluke, and he would rather not bring attention lest the gods think of it as another way to punish him.
After his spiel, Mr Onigiri Miya looked at him and then turned onto his side, staring at a window across the room.
"Odd, it ain't raining now, " Onigiri Miya said.
Rintarou looked in the direction he was looking, the window across the room. While there was a curtain, it wasn't fully covering it, as there was a tiny part of light that was able to come through.
"Huh, I was sure it was going to rain the whole day, and for the week too, " Rintarou added in agreement.
"Maybe your luck is finally changing now, huh?" The genuine tilt in Onigiri Miya's voice was convincing, so Rintarou found himself slightly believing him.
Onigiri Miya continued, "Maybe this is the start of something new for ya—sure ya got yer heart broken but yer still alive. Cheesy, but I know you'll find someone. Ya ain't that bad looking too,"
"Are you saying you find me attractive? Is this how you get your customers to stay? My, I didn't know you were a flirt, "
"Ha! ya wish. They stay cause the food is great and the company is fine,"
"I admit—the food is great. The company? still on the fence, as they did distract me when I was telling my story," Rintarou teased.
"My bad." Onigiri Miya raised both of his hands in surrender.
Rintarou was about to continue speaking, but he was stopped. "But before you continue. On a serious and non-romantic note, I believe that you'll find someone new. Ya asked if I believed in curses and gods? Then I'd do a disservice to my ma if I didn't. Actually, she might get our ancestors to also curse me,"
Rintarou laughed.
"As I said, I do believe in the healing nature of food, and I see it happen when my customers can go from a heavy heart and empty stomach to a lighter one and a full stomach. Think of my food as a way to ward off the curse and a welcome to good karma—" Mr Onigiri Miya stopped to take a sip of his beer,"—who knows, maybe the next time you come here, ya can tell me another story. A positive one,"
"Nah, maybe this is just a marketing scheme to get me to come back and order more food,"
"Possibly, but either way, I don't think I'm that bad of company, and ya look way better than when ya entered my restaurant. "
"Yeah, I guess."
Maybe the alcohol was actually getting to him, and he was losing some of his rational sense; maybe that's why even if there is an ache in his chest, there is also a flutter in his stomach. The alcohol numbs him, but the company and the presence of the other was filling him with something he cannot currently put into words, but he knows it was good. Maybe it isn't too bad that his legs led him there, and if there is a possibility of this conversation blossoming into a friendship, then maybe, from this curse, he gets a friend.
"So how did the two of ya meet?"
"Long story short—"