Work Text:
Reid I’m sorry I can’t have you near Henry like this.
Like what?
Show me your arm.
What? No!
See. I can’t have substances around Henry.
What? So based off a hunch you’re banning me from your home?!
Yes. Sorry Reid. I’m sure you can go to Morgan’s or someone’s though.
The conversation flashes through his mind as he buys the drug and gets home. Then he placed the needle and bottles on the table. If he was going to do this, he needed someone to know, needed evidence for his team afterwards. So, he dials Emily’s old number.
It’s Emily leave a message.
He wants to cry as he begins to talk,
‘Hey Emily, I- I know your dead, I’m not stupid and I know you won’t get this message but I need to talk to someone and JJ, uh Jennifer’s kicked me out because she thinks I’m using again, she doesn’t want me near Henry and yeah it’s understandable but I would never come to their house, or be remotely near Henry with drugs in my system. I swear. But I- Henry was the only thing stopping me from using and I know I should still be craving but I miss you Shit Emily I miss you so much and now everyone’s moving on and acting like it never happened, like you were never here but I’m still grieving, still miserable and the high would get rid of that but I’m so done. I just I feel like a burden and everyone was so sad and now they’re just, they’re all okay Em and I don’t know how they are with you gone. It’s so hard and well I called you because I need to tell someone goodbye.
Jennifer won’t care and she thinks I’ve been using anyways so she can’t think any lower of me and everyone will think it was an accident that I shot up too high too fast and forgot the dosage. But I need you to know, I need someone to know that it wasn’t an accident that it’s bigger than that and I know you can’t receive this but I’m recording anyways. If the team find this I- it wasn’t their fault. I’m so so sorry Emily.’
What Reid doesn’t know is that halfway across the world, the messages are being transferred from her old number to a burner back to an official number and that Emily, sitting working at her desk in Paris has received it. He has no idea that she recognises the number or that she listens to it as soon as she receives it or that she hears him break and that she panics. He doesn’t know that she throws her cover out the window or that she dials in his number with trembling fingers and tears in her eyes .
Reid doesn’t know any of this when he picks up to an unknown number.
‘Hello? Dr Spencer Reid speaking.’
‘Spencer’
She breathes a sigh of relief because he’s okay and he’s not dead and he is alive.
‘Emily?’
‘Yes, Spencer it’s me I’m not dead I’m in Paris and I’m so sorry. Please tell me you haven’t taken anything.’
‘I have the full needle on the table.’
His voice is numb like he’s resigned himself to this fate.
‘Listen to me Spencer. I need you to bin the needle and the dilaudad.’
That gets his attention. His voice picks up an octave and increases in volume;
‘I can’t Emily I’m so tired I just, can’t!’
Her brain spins a mile minute- she cannot let him die. Not now he was so young still.
‘Okay then. Can you get on the subway and get away from your house, go to JJs’
‘Jennifer said i wasn’t welcome anymore.’
She can hear the pain in his voice, remembers the voicemail. Wonders about the bigger story. Knows that JJ will always care about her little brother, her best friend.
‘I’m sure you are.’
‘I can’t go there Emily!’
He’s frantic, eyes blown wide in fear. She tries to keep her voice calm;
‘Hey, okay Spencer. I- go to work, go to Penelope’s office and stay there. I’ll get JJ to send her in for you.’
‘NO! You can’t tell JJ, please.’
‘Okay, okay Reid I promise, I won’t. I’ll call Penelope and since that’ll blow my cover I can be on a jet back within the hour.’
‘No emily I can’t ask you to do that.’
‘You didn’t ask me. I offered. And this is very important, listen to me Spencer, a team is so close to getting Doyle as long as we don’t advertise that I’m back it’ll be fine. We’ll all be okay.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise. Now you get yourself to Garcias office. Stat. I’ll call you back once I’ve phoned her.’
She hung up and breathed a sigh of relief before dialing Garcias number.
‘There had better be a damn good reason for waking me up I-‘
Suddenly she’s at a loss for words,
‘Penelope…’
‘Emily, but you’re, you’re dead.’
‘I’m not, not really, I’m sorry it’s a long story I will fill you in another time. Anyways, Spencer tried to overdose earlier this evening and I told him to go to your office that you’d be there soon. Could you..?’
‘Of course. Anything for boy wonder. You will be explaining yourself afterwards though!’
‘Obviously. I’ll see you soon.’
The sense of normalcy fills Emily. She hangs up on her friend and drives to the airfield, fast as she can, her heart pounding, hoping, praying to a God she has little faith in that Reid actually went into the office.
Back at Quantico, Garcia walks into the bullpen dressed in a simple dress and flats for once, putting on another pot of coffee, prepping two mugs with hot chocolate powder and cream and sugar. Having finished the mochas, she carries them to her office where a packet of biscuits is swiftly opened and emptied into a plate and Doctor Who is queued up (in case he doesn’t want to talk). Then, finally he bursts in, eyes frantic; breathing heavy
‘Penelope!’
‘Hey boy wonder. Emily called me. Sit down.’
She keeps her voice gentle- as if dealing with a child.
‘Oh thank someone I’m not going crazy. I thought I was having a schizophrenic breakdown and I-‘
‘Shhhhshhhshh I’ve got you.’
He collapses, actually collapses into her open arms. It’d be funny if not for the circumstances,
‘It’s okay genius, let it all out. Cmon now, we can talk about this later. For now, Doctor who?’
He nods against her, tears still streaming down his face.
She hits play and they sit like that for hours, and since it’s the weekend the rest of the team are still at their houses. Blissfully unaware of the turmoil going on.
Then there’s a knock which jerks Penelope’s hand away from Reid’s hair and up onto her feet,
‘Hey boy genius, stay there.’
It’s not like he was going to move, he’s all but asleep, eyes semi closed as he watches Winston Churchill and a Soothsayer on screen.
Penelope opens the door and inside steps a very dishevelled Emily Prentiss her hair is a mess, in jeans and a sweatshirt, her eyes frantic, red and puffy and a light sheath of sweat dusting her forehead,
‘Spencer! Thank god thank GOD’
She surges forward and embraces him, pulling him into her arms,
‘I am so so sorry. I didn’t realise it was this bad I swear. If I had known I would have forced them to tell you. I don’t care what it would have taken.’
They sit like that, the two of them just hugging as silent tears drip from their eyes,
‘Okay boy wonder, could I steal her for just an moment Emily?’
Spencer pulls back as if he’s been burned, casting his eyes to the floor,
‘course, sorry pen.’
‘No, you don’t have to be sorry for anything sweetheart.’
And then Penelope drags Emily out of the room,
‘What. Happened.’
‘I’m sorry. It wasn’t my desicion . But Penelope it is so good to see you.’
They hug briefly before Garcia pulls away, already speaking;
‘The team are back in tomorrow so we have a day to look after him, unless of course you need to be somewhere. And I get that you probably can’t tell them but I might accidentally so I don’t know what to-‘
‘Hey. Penny G. Slow down. JJ and Hotch already know. I’ll tell Rossi and Morgan when they come in- I don’t think Spencer will survive me leaving again. He already tried to kill himself; which we probably need to talk about.’
‘Oh Boy Wonder… Right. Let’s go back in there, finish this episode and then we can all get dressed and ready.’
They headed back inside and sat on either side of Spencer, watching as the universe is restored and then the secret of revealed. Then, before the next one could start, Penelope hits the off button
‘Pe-en’
‘Cmon Spencer, Emily’s here. And we all need to talk.’
‘Ughhhh’
The protest is weak, already resigned really.
‘Spencer the only reason you’re here and alive is that I am as well.’
‘Okay.’
Emily opens a burner where she has had the voicemail forwarded and hits play.
‘Hey Emily, I- I know your dead, I’m not stupid and I know you won’t get this message but I need to talk to someone and JJ, uh Jennifer’s kicked me out because she thinks I’m using again, she doesn’t want me near Henry and yeah it’s understandable but I would never come to their house, or be remotely near Henry with drugs in my system. I swear. But I- Henry was the only thing stopping me from using and I know I should still be craving but I miss you Shit Emily I miss you so much and now everyone’s moving on and acting like it never happened, like you were never here but I’m still grieving, still miserable and the high would get rid of that but I’m so done. I just I feel like a burden and everyone was so sad and now they’re just, they’re all okay Em and I don’t know how they are with you gone. It’s so hard and well I called you because I need to tell someone goodbye.
Jennifer won’t care and she thinks I’ve been using anyways so she can’t think any lower of me and everyone will think it was an accident that I shot up too high too fast and forgot the dosage. But I need you to know, I need someone to know that it wasn’t an accident that it’s bigger than that and I know you can’t receive this but I’m recording anyways. If the team find this I- it wasn’t their fault. I’m so so sorry Emily.’
‘That’s a lot to unpack.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Nonono boy wonder. I can’t believe you kept all this inside… Okay. For the record, I was not over her death, I’ve been wearing dark and muted colours since it stopped being acceptable to wear black.’
‘Hey! I said no black and no grieving in my will.’
‘You were dead Em.’
His voice sounds broken.
‘I know and I’m sorry Spencer’
‘You were DEAD and NOW THEY ALL HATE ME AND JJ HATES ME AND SHE KNEW AND I CAN NEVER SEE HER AGAIN AND I-‘
‘Hey HEY Spencer calm down love.’
Penelope wraps her arms around the once more sobbing genius, running a hand along his back in an attempt to soothe him.
‘Spencer I’m sorry that I died but you have to understand I did what was needed to survive. And I’m back now. JJ doesn’t hate you I swear. She cares about you and if she told you you weren’t welcome it was because she wanted you to get clean. We ALL love you so much.’
He buries his face in Penelope’s neck, sobbing still.
‘Okay Spencer let’s get ready and then we can update Emily on all the gossip, yeah?’
‘’Kay’
THEY SPEND THE DAY IN PENELOPES OFFICE AND TALK UNTIL…
‘Okay guys it’s eleven pm, we probably shouldnt sleep here…’
Penelope lights up,
‘Sleepover at Spencer’s?’
‘Yessss!’
‘Uhh guys I’m not sure, my place isn’t exactly-‘
There’s a knock on the door. Glances are exchanged between the thee before a decision is reached.
‘Office of supreme genius you may enter!’
JJ steps in, already talking,
‘Penelope I don’t know why you’re here but I can’t get through to Spen- oh.’
Spencer shrinks into himself, refusing eye contact with anything but his hands.
‘Emily?!’
‘They know.’
JJs eyes narrow, gaze icy.
‘What?! You blew your cover?!’
‘Come on, step outside with me.’
They move outside the office,
‘What happened Emily?!’
‘What happened is Spencer tried to die. He tried to overdose because you accused him of using again!’