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War never changes.
That was the only thing Cooper Howard knew more than anything.
It didn’t matter if you were a man, woman, child. He had seen the looks on their faces- Watched as children stood mere feet in the snow, and then no longer stood in the snow. Watching as the light from their eyes turned into Janey’s- Sitting idle, watching was all he did as people he considered friends, family even, took someone from their own family. But that was never their fault either- It wasn’t the fault of the families that their government made the choices it made.
But he made that choice to serve. He made that choice to participate in the war, knowing what would come and come again.
War never changes.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow,
I never meant to cause you any pain.
The sound had jolted him out of where he sat. Head down, feet up on the bed. Lucy. He tilted his hat up, and his eyes met her toothy grin across the room. Next to the window she had violently thrown up out of the night prior was a record player, and she had managed to blow the dust clean off of one.
“Sorry! Sorry.” She said, hands hovering over the player. “I didn’t expect it to be that loud, y'know. My dad had one of these back home and I guess it’s just been a while since I had actually sat and messed with one that wasn’t so pristine?” She stuttered, shaking her head before looking for the knob, adjusting the volume momentarily after.
“It’s Prince.”
“What is?”
“The song you just put on.” Cooper drawled out, looking at her as she walked back towards the bed, taking a seat across from him. Her legs shook out as she sat down, and she tilted her head back against the headboard.
“What’s he the prince of?”
Cooper scoffed, and a cracked smile adorned the corner of his lips. “Not “the prince” of anything, darlin’. It’s Prince. A singer- Before my time, before anyone’s time really. Song's from an album 'round '84, so you've got yourself a three hundred and twelve year old piece o' art there.”
“You mean to tell me you actually just had someone named Prince who sung this?”
“We all have names.”
“Yeah, but Prince is a title.”
Cooper pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “Y’learned about history in the Vault.”
“I did.”
“You should’ve learned about ‘m then. Y’know. Shakespeare. Homer. One name.” He flicked his hand up at her. “Jesus.”
“Well technically, Jesus’s name wasn’t just Jesus.” She tilted her head back at him. “So you’re wrong on that.”
Cooper blinked, then sighed. "D'you think 'Christ' was his last name?"
Lucy blinked. "We had many different adaptations of various Bibles, but it wasn't something we really had to pay attention to. I'd rather have read something else."
Cooper sighed and shook his head, waving his hand in front of his face. "Okay. Never mind that. Either way, we had them. You'd listen’n to ‘m on the radio. Prince. Madonna. Dio. Elvis.” He crossed one boot over the other, and Lucy eagerly watched as he continued to put fingers up. "Even some bands. KISS. Queen. Journey." He paused for a second, dropping his fingers. “Put ‘m on the radio on your way to work, the classics.” Lucy could feel his hesitation to continue speaking, but he did. “Could hear them when the bombs fell." He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "Somethin' different, watching the cars pile up, watching those clouds and hearing Steve Perry belt out those words." He shook his head. "Y'know, Here we stand, Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two..."
She smiled, shaking her head as he sang the lyrics, but she could feel the sadness in the way he whispered the last lyrics. “I can't say that I've listened to any of these people you're mentioning because we primarily only had the music my dad would put on, and if anything that would just be The Ink Spots or Nat King Cole, or Ella Fitzgerald if he was really wanting to play something original." She tilted her head. "But you're trying to say that people enjoyed their music, even if they only had one name to stick to them? It’s not something as important as watching an actual film. For example, I’d say, Kelly Trivingo, James Kent, Keith McKinney- I mean even if we’re not talking about real people you had Armor Ace, Rip Daring, The Silver Shroud! You had all of those people with two names, and they’re remembered even now, and you probably met some of them. Cooper Howard isn’t a name people just forget.”
“Cooper Howard is a name people should forget.”
She looked at him and scoffed. “Okay well, It’s not a name that I want to forget. I mean seriously- You were in at least what, fifteen of my favorite movies growing up? And who could forget about ‘A Man and His Dog’, you and Dogmeat are like, the living example of that now!” Her hands flew up as she spoke, pointing at him but he looked past her hands, and at her.
“And we’re supposed to be like what? Cooper Howard and Kelly Trivingo in ‘Under The Covers’?”
“I mean, you did get a room with only one bed, so why not?” She stared at him before shifting her position, bringing her knees into her chest.
He let out a soft chuckle and took his feet off the bed. “Y’aint some black widow- Can’t even shoot a man in th’ head, but y’ fancy yerself a detective? You know how that movie ends, right?”
She pouted momentarily before sighing and stretching her legs back out. “With the woman found dead after fighting with her husband.” She shook her head. “But I don’t think I’d end up like that, because if you really wanted to kill me, I think you’d have done so already, and we already established that we need each other. Sooooo it’s perfectly fine for me to have a crush on the detective!”
“Lucy, I played the detective, and I’m not that type of man. Just an ideal you’re planting in there.” He stood, pointing his gloved finger against her temple.
She reached up, grabbing his hand with both of hers. “I know what type of man you are, Cooper.”
I only wanted, one time, to see you laughing.
I only want to see you laughing,
In the purple rain.
Cooper Howard snarled. Not the kind of snarl you’d expect to come from between his lips, but a dry, rasp filled snarl akin to a feral. He could feel his body twitch and he clutched his arm, breathing heavily against the snarl.
Dozens had already walked by him, either paying no mind or choosing to willingly not help him. He could only lay there, eyes closed as he listened to the sounds of people walking by. Laughter, screeching wheels, footsteps. The sounds of Vegas mirrored that of his past.
Stretching his hand out for the vials, his breath rasped as the feral snarls escaped his lips once more. He’d been laying like that for hours, unable to stretch the faintest further from the piece of rebar that pierced his body. The pain was unlike anything he had gone through before, but the pain wasn’t what was concerning him- It was the acknowledgement that it had been too long since he had taken the medicine, and not too long left before his brain would slowly begin to melt away.
Going feral was always the largest concern. You’re you until you aren’t you, and then you’re just a nobody.
“Come on, come on. Fuck” He groaned, hand dropping as he stretched it towards them. “Uh, little help? Little help?” He rasped, coughing after. His mind thought only of Lucy's ‘Golden Rule’ and how it could have helped him in the situation he found himself in, but it was Lucy who put him in it. Lucy. Not who he wanted to think about, but all he found himself thinking about.
Purple rain, purple rain,
Purple rain, purple rain,
Purple rain, purple rain,
I only want to see you bathing,
In the purple rain.
“You can't actually be considering this.” Her voice shook. There was a mix of emotions in her face. Fear, concern, heartbreak. Cooper could feel tears welling up in his own eyes.
“Lucy, I brought you here to bargain with.”
Her lip quivered. Lucy MacClean and Cooper Howard stared at each other. There were no thoughts, no movements, no breaths.
“This is the bargain.” He spoke. His voice carried that of guilt, and in his eyes, his hesitation, Lucy acknowledged it.
She licked her lips, and begrudgingly let out a soft smile.
“We were actually beginning to get along.”
“Yeah.”
I never wanted to be your weekend lover,
I only wanted to be some kind of friend, hey.
Baby, I could never steal you from another,
It's such a shame our friendship had to end.
“Son of a bitch.” Cooper groaned. “Dogmeat-” He said firmly, watching as the german shepherd trotted happily up to his side, barking. “Fetch me that satchel.” Dogmeat didn’t move.
“Come on.”
Dogmeat licked her lips.
“Go on now. I need my vials.”
Dogmeat moved, happily wagging her tail as she moved past his hand. She sniffed the pair of vials that had fallen from the bag, but happily picked up his hat, and sat right back where she started.
“No. I don’t need the fuckin’ hat.” He groaned. Dogmeat barked. “I need that satchel.”
The words escaped his lips with another feral groan, and his body tensed. His fist meeting forehead he fought, twisting against the rebar as Dogmeat ran off.
“You stupid fucking dog!” He yelled, and the yell turned into a snarl, twisting himself again. His teeth dug into his lip. “Not today.” He breathed, sighing into a soft snarl as he let himself hang there.
Purple rain, purple rain,
Purple rain, purple rain,
Purple rain, purple rain,
I only want to see you underneath the purple rain.
Night had fallen. The streets of Vegas were not as populous as they once were. A woman turned a corner and a John followed her. A street merchant picked the wheels up off his shop and moved it. In the silence of it all lay Cooper, twisting and writhing amongst the streets where hours ago he had betrayed Lucy. His snarls had gotten deeper now, and his vision had blurred. The spasms from his arm led to him nearly punching himself in the face, and he kept his mouth open to avoid biting off his own tongue. His entire body quaked with enough force to make him feel sick, thinking about how many years he’d fought against it.
Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out for something new
That means you, too
“My… my name… My name is… Cooper. My name is Cooper. Cooper Howard.” He whispered, out of breath. For hours he had been fading in and out of restlessness, waking only to the snarls and spasms every several minutes. The time had gone faster the longer he had waited, mouth salivating at the thought of consumption, while also trying to retain his sanity. His name carried that weight upon his lips. He screamed, fighting a stronger spasm as he snarled out. The pain from his body being forced against the pole had gone numb, and he could hear the squelch behind his own ears every time he lurched forward and dropped back down.
“I have a dau… a daughter.” He breathed. His breathing had been shallow, trying to sustain himself, fighting against the spasms. “I have a daughter. Her-her-her name… is Ja… Is Janey Howard.”
You say you want a leader,
But you can't seem to make up your mind.
A smile met his lips, his eyes were adorned with tears. “Janey. Howard.” He breathed slowly, eyes looking up into the night sky. “She’s alive.” He stuttered, “She’s a… she’s alive.” He laughed; A slow, maniacal laugh. “My daughter’s alive.”
His hands clutched the rebar, no longer fighting against the idea of going feral. The knowledge that his daughter was alive was more than enough, and using that strength he began to do the only thing he could do- He climbed. One hand over the next, in brutal, agonizing pain, he climbed. The snarls pushed past his lips as his flesh tore from the stomach would, but he continued to climb. Blood poured from his lips but he spat it out, groaning in pain as his gloved hands grasped the top of the rebar- Only to lose himself. It was the harshest spasm he had had thus far and his mouth hung open, only sucking in air once before his body hit the base of the rebar pole with a sickening pulpy thud.
I think you better close it,
And let me guide you to the purple rain.
He laid there, eyes closed as blood dripped from the rebar back onto him. “She’s a… she’s alive.” He smiled, but the smile quickly faded into a snarl as he laughed- Laughing into the darkness.
“And… Lucy… Lucy.” He snarled, placing his left hand over his right, pulling the spasming limb against his chest, above his heart.
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah,
Purple rain, purple rain, wooo!
If you know what I'm singing about up here,
Come on, raise your hand,
Purple rain, purple rain, yeah.
“Maybe… Maybe she won’t for… forgive me. Maybe… Maybe that’s… okay.” He rasped, opening his eyes.
“Not like this…. Not after… Two-Hundred years…” He groaned, patting his hand against his chest. “I’m… I’m holding on…. For them…”
I only want to see you,
Only want to see you in the purple rain.