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After John and the dramatic, devastating events of the Autumn had unfolded, things between Robert and Aaron had levelled out. They weren’t together, not even close, but they were friendly enough and everyone in the village knew it was only a matter of time. But since Aaron’s husband, who also happened to be Robert’s brother had gone mad, kidnapped Aaron and Mack, leaving them to be rescued by Cain and Robert, John ending up being shot by armed police… well, things had been tense for a long while afterwards. Neither of them really knew how to get over the hump, to try and move forward. In the village they were both aware when they were in close proximity, but it was difficult.
Aaron decided to be the one to make the first move. Even if John hadn’t gone crazy, he still wanted Robert. He had then, he did now. Nothing had really changed in that respect. So when Aaron walked into the pub, finding Robert in a corner halfway through his pint, Aaron grabbed his own from Chas, ignoring her smirk, like she knew what he was up to, and sat opposite Robert.
“You okay?” Robert asked, his eyes scanning Aaron’s face.
“Yeah, mostly,” Aaron said. “Is that your first?”
“Yeah, why?” Robert asked.
“Just want to make sure you’re not drunk,” Aaron said. “I’ve been thinking, do you want to go out with me?” Robert’s eyes opened wider than usual. It was clear he wasn’t expecting that and Aaron enjoyed the fact he could surprise him still. “A normal date. I don’t know, drinks at a bar then the cinema or something.” Still Robert didn’t say anything and Aaron realised he could be being snubbed here and Robert didn’t know how to let him down gently. He had chosen John in the moment after all. “Unless it’s a terrible idea…”
“No,” Robert said, cutting him off, eyes sparkling. “Not a bad idea, yes. Yes.”
“Oh,” Aaron said, smiling shyly at him, relieved. “Good. Friday?”
“I’ll have to check my diary,” Robert joked. “I’m kidding. Friday, great, yeah.” Aaron laughed. “I do think… I think maybe we should have some ground rules though.”
“Oh?” Aaron asked nervously.
“I don’t think we should talk about John,” Robert said. “I think… it’s too much for both of us.”
“Fine,” Aaron said easily, taking a sip of his pint. Avoiding that subject seemed like a great idea to him.
“I also think… if we’re doing this, no sex.”
Aaron laughed. “We always seem to get that right,” Aaron said.
“Exactly,” Robert said. “We need to start again.”
“You say that like I’m the one who can’t resist you,” Aaron said.
“Excuse me, I remember you crawling on top of me,” Robert said and Aaron smiled as Robert leaned over the table. “In vivid detail,” he said lowly. Aaron knew he was probably blushing behind his stubble. Robert’s chuckle said he knew it too.
“All right,” Aaron agreed. “No sex. If you think you can hold out.”
“You know me, I like a challenge,” Robert said. Aaron reached across the table and touched the back of Robert’s hand gently, both of them appreciating the connection. It was broken by a smashing glass and they both looked around.
"I'm gonna go," Aaron said, feeling Robert's eyes follow him as he left the bar. “Don’t even,” Aaron said to his mother as he walked out of the pub, knowing Robert was smiling at his retreating back.
Robert was floating for a good twenty four hours before he realised that Aaron asking him out meant he had to actually go on a date. He hadn’t been on a date with anyone in years. (He didn’t count the disastrous Owen encounter.) He’d been in prison, then before that, very happily married. To the same Aaron that had now asked him out. How the hell did you make a good impression with your ex husband and former brother-in-law?
His good mood was further broken down by Cain approaching him in the café on Thursday morning. “Oh, what now?” Robert said.
“I hear you’re starting things up again with our Aaron,” Cain said, sitting down opposite him without waiting to be asked.
“None of your business,” Robert said with a fake smile.
“Look, I know we haven’t exactly been… supportive…”
“I seem to remember your lot celebrating Aaron marrying a murderer,” Robert said off hand. “But I’m not one to hold grudges.”
Cain cleared his throat uncomfortably. “To be fair, we didn’t know.”
“I met him once and picked up on that dark weirdness,” Robert said. “No one else did?” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter in the end, anyway. What do you want, Cain?”
“Don’t break Aaron’s heart,” Cain said. “That’s all.”
“Cain, I’ve never stopped loving him,” Robert said. “I loved him when I got sentenced, I loved him every day in prison, I loved him when he married someone else. I don’t know how to stop loving him. He asked me out, it’s that simple.”
“You’ve no idea what it did to him,” Cain said. “Cutting him off like that.”
“Oh, I know,” Robert said. “Because I felt it exactly the same, I just had to endure it between four very small walls. You’re not going to scare me off Cain. I’ve met thugs far worse than you.”
“You won’t let me say what I want to say, will you?” Cain said. “Look, just… take care of him. Please. None of us want to go through a heartbroken Aaron again.”
“I don’t want that either,” Robert said. “I’m not going to hurt him, but I do need him in my life. Okay?” Cain nodded, then left him to it.
The reality of Aaron asking him out had started to hit him. They'd literally never done that, whenever they'd got into a relationship, they jumped in feet first, right into the deep end. But after prison, and John, genuinely taking things slowly might be a good idea?
Which meant that Robert was currently in his sister's bathroom, fiddling with his hair and wondering if the jeans he was wearing really were the right jeans to go with. He was pretty sure about the blue shirt he was wearing, but everything else felt wrong. There was a knock on the bathroom door and Vic poked her head around. "Is my forty year old brother acting fifteen again?" she teased.
"Don't," Robert said. "I'm nervous, I don't need you winding me up."
"It's Aaron," she said softly. "He'll love whatever you wear. Usually with you two that includes wearing nothing at all."
Robert took a deep breath. "This is different. We're taking things... slowly. And we mean it this time. We're going on a proper date, and I don't think we've ever done that. It matters what I look like."
"The jeans look good," she said, taking pity on him. "You look great! Stop worrying."
"I can't," Robert said.
"I'm probably going to need to put ear plugs in tonight if history's anything to go by!" she said with a wink.
"No, you're not," Robert said firmly. "We're on a sex ban. We... use that as a distraction, so not this time."
Vic's eyebrows flicked up in surprise. "Bloody hell," she said. "Things must be serious."
"I want to do this right," Robert said. "He asked me out, and we've never done that. When we started last time I was never comfortable enough to go out in public with a man. Now? I want him, God, I do. But we have to do things differently."
Vic nodded in understanding. "It's been a lot, though," she said. "With John. Just... text me if you're not coming home? So I know you're safe and our brother hasn't got you tied up in a shack in the woods."
Robert grinned. "I promise."
"What the...?" Mack sat up on the sofa where he'd been sleeping since things went tits up with Charity, as Aaron threw what looked like most of his wardrobe on the table. "Aaron... have you lost your mind?"
"I'm meeting Robert in an hour," Aaron said. "I don't know what to wear, I don't know why it's bothering me this much.
Mack blinked at him. "Riiiiight. Okaaay."
"Don't look at me like I'm crazy," Aaron said. "I'm not."
"What you wear doesn't matter does it?" Mack said. "Last I knew your preference was being directly underneath him. You don't need clothes for that."
"That's not helpful," Aaron snapped. Then he sighed. "How do you go on a first date with a man you married twice?"
"Do you want my advice?" Mack asked.
"You're sleeping on my sofa," Aaron said. "Your relationship advice isn't exactly great."
"You married a murderer," Mack shot back.
"Fair enough," Aaron said after a moment's pause. "What've you got?"
"You know Robert," Mack said. "You love him, everyone knows that. But you don't know what he went through the last six years, and he doesn't know that about you either. There are big parts of your life that neither of you know. Try talking about the gap, filling in the bits. Why did he change his coffee order? What books he read in prison. He didn't spend the entire time doodling "I heart Aaron" on the walls of his cell." Aaron's lips twitched. "Oh, and white shirt, black jeans, no hair gel."
"Okay, you know what? That was helpful," Aaron said. "Thanks." Aaron looked through his clothes, mostly black but found two white shirts. “Which…?”
“Long sleeved,” Mack said. “Wait, if things go well tonight, am I going to need to make myself scarce? I don’t want a front row seat to that!”
“Nah,” Aaron said with a smile. “We’ve agreed, no sex.”
Mack’s eyes widened. “You two? Good luck with that.”
“Shut up.” But Aaron was smiling.
Aaron felt good, nervous, but good as he knocked on Vic’s door. She answered, grinning from ear to ear. “What can I do for you?” she teased.
“Vic, that’s not funny.”
“My brothers been primping himself in the bathroom for the last half an hour,” she said.
“Oi, Vic!” Robert shouted at her as he came crashing down the stairs and she couldn’t help giggling.
“You two are both grown men!” she said, looking between them. “You are not teenagers!”
“Shut up,” Robert said. She held her hands up and left, leaving Robert on the doorstep, looking at Aaron. “You look great,” Robert said sincerely.
“Yeah, you do too,” he said. “Ready?” Robert grabbed his keys, then nodded, following Aaron to his car, sitting in the passenger seat.
“Okay, so this is weird, right?” Robert said as Aaron started the engine, driving out of the village.
“Yep,” Aaron said, agreeing. “But I still think it’s a good idea.”
“You’re probably right,” Robert said. “So, what’s the plan?”
“There’s this sports bar I like,” Aaron said. “It plays the games, but it doesn’t get too rowdy. I thought we could have a drink, then watch a film? If you want to, I don't want to...”
“Perfect,” Robert said. Though he’d agree to anything Aaron suggested.
“If the bar gets too noisy for you, we can leave,” Aaron said. “I promise.”
“It should be fine,” Robert said, appreciative of Aaron’s concern. “I’m getting help. It’s my third session with my therapist next Wednesday.”
“That’s good,” Aaron said. “I mean it, I really want you to get the help you need.” Robert nodded.
“I know you do.” Robert cleared his throat. “How are you? After…”
“We agreed we wouldn’t talk about him,” Aaron said, but then he sighed, relenting. “It was falling apart with him before I knew he was a murderer. Being trapped in a cottage alone with him was… boring. God, it got so boring.”
Robert smiled, he couldn’t help it. “It hurts, you know,” he said. “I’ve never been anyone’s first choice. It hurt, not being yours.”
“You were,” Aaron said. “You are. I swear to you. I wouldn’t be here with you if you weren’t.” Robert nodded. “I’ll make it up to you,” Aaron said. “I mean it.”
“Good,” Robert said. “Make sure you do.”
The bar was relatively quiet when they got there. Aaron had checked that there wasn’t a game on, so it wouldn’t be too loud, and they ordered chips with two beers. Robert ate the chips with gusto and Aaron grinned. “They’re really good.”
“I’ve missed you,” Aaron said with warmth. Robert’s eyes softened and he pushed the bowl of chips towards Aaron.
“Do you know what, I’ve missed you too,” Robert said. His hand reached across the table, tracing Aaron’s knuckles gently, before Aaron turned his hand over and they ended up almost holding hands. It felt almost fresh, new and both of them ended up giggling over their beers.
“This is silly,” Aaron said. “Anyone would think we didn’t know each other.”
“Well, there’s parts of each other we don’t know,” Robert said. His fingertips made Aaron shiver as they touched his wrist, almost flirting with the touch.
“You can talk to me,” Aaron said. “What you got up to in prison.” Robert tensed. “Was it all… terrible?”
“Other than the obvious?” Robert said. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“I’d understand.”
“I know you would,” Robert said. “But I’m… happy now. So I don’t want to talk about the bad things.”
“Was there anything…” Aaron's sentence drifted into the ether.
“The library,” Robert said. “I liked the library, I could get lost in the books. Whenever prison visiting was happening, I went to the library. It was quiet and I could be left to my own devices.” Aaron nodded, choosing not to mention that the lack of visitors was entirely Robert’s own choice. “I was marked as someone who was well behaved, so I was allowed to take a few extra books back to my cell. I liked those books.”
“You, well behaved?” Aaron said, trying to inject a lighter note into the conversation. Robert squeezed his hand, a faint smile on his face.
“Relatively,” Robert said. “I had to be a good boy to take fourteen years down to six.”
“True,” Aaron said. “I’d have waited for you, you know?”
“I know,” Robert said. “I thought you’d end up hurting yourself again. Maybe even end up in an early grave. Me sending you there? I wouldn’t have been able to live with it.”
“Robert…”
“You’d have seen me,” Robert said. “Week after week, being beaten up, targeted. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, nothing to stop it. It would’ve killed you, Aaron. I couldn’t be responsible for that.”
“I understand,” Aaron said. “I don’t want to dwell on it, but I do understand. Do you understand how much cutting me off hurt me?”
“Yeah,” Robert said. “Of course I do.”
“Tell me about the land,” Aaron said, changing the subject. “Moira, Joe. What the hell you got up to? I missed some of the finer points while being bored to death in my marriage.”
Robert laughed and ate another chip. “I saw an opportunity. Mack and Ross were growing weed up at Butlers. I don’t know why, I didn’t care. Ross is always an idiot, and Mack was distracted, so I went in and nicked it.”
“You’d been out of prison a matter of weeks, then stole cannabis?” Aaron asked. “Risky.”
“What, was Ross going to report me? He’s stupid, but he’s not that stupid,” Robert said and Aaron laughed. “Anyway, I sold the stolen weed, then paid Moira a discounted rate for my gran’s old fields.”
“But she knew how much you were paying?” Aaron said. “You didn’t lie or swindle her?”
“I laid it on a bit thick about “family legacy” but no,” Robert said. “She knew. I don’t think I quite deserved the grilling I got in the pub.” Robert shrugged. “The plan originally was to sell it to Kim and I’d make a tidy profit. Some money after prison, but… Kim wanted that field a bit too much. Then I started thinking… I don’t know.” He shrugged, uncomfortable delving into his checkered history with farming.
“Are you really going to be a farmer?” Aaron said in disbelief. “You hate farming.”
“It has a few benefits,” Robert said. “Being outside in the fresh air after being locked up for so long? I like that. I didn’t think I would, but I do. Also… being left to rot in prison? Using muscles I haven’t in a while feels good." Aaron's eyes sparkled. "Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything,” Aaron said.
“I saw your face,” Robert said. “You were thinking impure thoughts when I said that.”
“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Fine, I was. You shouldn’t mention your muscles if you don’t want that.” Robert smirked, a shadow of the Robert of old. He let go of Aaron’s hand, where their fingers had been intertwining gently, to eat another chip.
“So, what film are we seeing?”
Aaron treated them to the popcorn, buying the sweetest caramel type they had on the menu. Robert still had his sweet tooth and the warm look he gave him was worth it.
During the film (the latest Marvel offering that Aaron didn’t care about) Aaron kept staring at Robert. He was engrossed in it, laughing at the right bits, his eyes completely focused. Their fingers brushed in the large popcorn bucket every now and then, and if they weren’t in public Aaron would have definitely found himself kissing Robert senseless. What made it even better was that Robert had no idea how intently Aaron was watching him. God, he was gorgeous. Once the popcorn bucket was empty, Aaron held his hand. It was silly, childish, like two lovesick adolescents almost, but it was worth it. Something so simple, without the many layers of their personal history… it felt good.
On the drive home, Robert was waxing lyrical about the film. He’d really enjoyed it and Robert’s enthusiasm was contagious. Aaron loved it, and this had been a really good idea.
Parked outside the Mill, Aaron leaned across the car and kissed him softly, the briefest press of lips. Not even enough to really feel Robert’s stubble, still novel enough to him. “Do you want to come in for a drink?” Aaron asked.
“I thought we’re on a no sex rule?” Robert said.
“Mack’s sleeping on my sofa,” Aaron said. “I don’t think he’s into watching. Though with Mack you never know.” Robert let out a deep belly laugh that made Aaron’s heart skip a beat. Robert kissed him again, lightly.
“A drink’d be good.”
Aaron unlocked the door and Mack nodded to Robert. Mack had been stretched out on the sofa, watching rubbish on the TV and he half got up as Robert came in. “Don’t move on my account,” Robert said. “Have you got a whisky?”
Aaron scoffed. “No way am I giving you whisky.” Robert laughed.
“Do I er… need to make myself scarce?” Mack said.
“No,” Aaron said. Good, Mack thought to himself. He wasn’t planning on leaving anyway. Aaron was smiling, and he was quite interested to see the pair of them together. He’d heard the stories of course, and about the affairs they’d had. Almost the stuff of legend, and he wanted to know.
“How was the film?” Mack said. “What did you see again?”
“It was the new Marvel one,” Aaron said.
“You hate Marvel,” Mack said to Aaron.
“Yeah, but he doesn’t,” Aaron said, looking at Robert with almost doting eyes.
“You didn’t hate it, did you?” Robert said, disappointed.
“No, I didn’t,” Aaron said. “It was pretty good. I enjoyed the company a lot, though.” Aaron passed Robert a beer from the fridge and offered Mack one. He shook his head. The two men clinked bottles as Robert took a deep drink.
“Ah, that’s good,” Robert said satisfyingly, sitting down in an arm chair. “Who the hell decorated this place?”
“You did,” Aaron said. “Back when you were renovating the Mill.”
“Ah, yes, the famous Robert Sugden breakdown of 2017,” Robert said, nodding to himself. “Sure looks like I was going through it too, by the way.” Aaron laughed.
“I didn’t know you could do that,” Mack said to Aaron. “Laugh like that.” Aaron glared at him.
“I should go,” Robert said quietly. Aaron looked disappointed. “If we’re going to keep our pact, I need to get out of here.”
“Fine,” Aaron said. “Go home. I’m sure Vic’s waiting up for the news.” Robert rolled his eyes, but took another drink from his bottle, then stood up, pressing close to Aaron.
“I had a really good time,” he said, kissing Aaron gently. Aaron responded, deepening the embrace, his hands on Robert’s hips, pulling him close. “Aaron…” Robert warned against his lips. “You’re not playing fair.”
“Go on,” Aaron said. “Go home.” He pecked Robert’s lips briefly one more time and Robert grinned, leaving the flat. Aaron was grinning too as he sat down with his own beer.
“Bloody hell,” Mack said, thinking Aaron looked one step away from actually kicking his feet with joy. “Went well, then?” Aaron couldn’t stop smiling.
“Do you know, I can’t remember the last time I felt so… happy without complications, without life taking it away from me,” Aaron said. “Actually, I can. My wedding day.” Mack frowned, that didn’t make sense at all. “My wedding day to Robert. I felt this happy back then.”
“If this is the reaction one date with Robert Sugden gets,” Mack said. “I really should have tried riding him when I had the chance.” Aaron threw a pillow at him.