Chapter Text
The night was cool against his skin. The faint smell of the sea in the distance reminded him of where he was – home – and why he absolutely should not be there. Eridan sighed, shifting the weight of the heavy canteen on his shoulder. Karkat had slipped into a restless sleep earlier and he had quickly elected to go on the water run, there was a shallow river a stone’s throw away from Terezi’s old hive. Nervous tension thrummed through him the entire way and back and he was still terribly afraid he’d run into something or someone that’d give them away. If they, as adult trolls, were so much as spotted on Alternia they were so incredibly screwed…
He nearly made it back to the tree house, tiny light inside the main room glaringly obvious again the dark of the night. Just seeing it made Eridan wince. Even so he walked a little faster, compulsion driving him to get back there and see if his sleeping charge was still okay.
He literally screamed when something grabbed him from behind. He dropped the canteen (thank god it had a lid) and started to struggle.
“Shut up,” a very familiar voice hissed in his ear fin.
Eridan stopped instantly. “Sol,” he breathed. “Fuck, you scared the shit outta me,” the hacker had been on his husktop when Eridan had left, he expected him to still be up there with Karkat… “Is Kar okay?” he asked.
That got him turned around so fast his head spun, and slammed into a tree, which knocked the breath out of him. “Sol, what?” he began indignantly, hunching in on himself. That hurt.
He was pissed off again, Eridan could see the faint spark of blue and red against the night. It always sort of creeped him out when Sollux used his powers in the dark, the troll’s eyes literally glowed red and blue and that was pretty much all he could see.
He also knew exactly where this was going. Or going to go fast. It always did when Sollux whipped out his powers. “Fuck,” he swore. “Well, get it over with,” he grouched. “I have other places I’d rather be.”
“Oh? And where might that be?” the tone of Sollux’s voice was deadly.
Eridan sighed. He could already feel a headache coming on. “You know where,” he replied, his voice low.
A shove of power pushed him up against the tree again. The other troll strolled towards him and reached out. His hand grasped his shoulder in a crushing grip. Eridan let out a hiss, his ear fins pushing back against the sides of his head defensively.
“Mind telling me exactly what happened today?” the other troll asked, his voice a threatening growl. “That didn’t occur to you to do two perigees ago?”
“Maybe I was trying to keep us both fuckin’ alive, ever consider that?”
That got a low sarcastic laugh. “Right, and then you just changed your mind, sure,” a hand fell to the waistband of his pants, then jerked it away from his skin and slid inside easily. Eridan forced himself to stay still as Sollux’s hand fell against him, manipulating his bulge with sure fingers. He hardened, half against his will, and flinched as he was grasped in a grip that was slightly too tight.
“He offered you something you couldn’t refuse, is that it?” the hand started had started to work him and Eridan clenched his teeth, his eyes slitting. “I see how you treat him, you’re flushed for him, it’s so fucking obvious,” Sollux’s hand stopped. “What I want to know is why now?”
Eridan couldn’t answer. He really couldn’t. What was he going to say? I let him suck me off? He treated me with a little bit of fucking kindness that you never did and I couldn’t let them hurt him any longer? He gasped, then tried unsuccessfully to push his overbearing kismesis away. “It just happened,” he said finally, resentfully. “I just… I couldn’t do it anymore, even you got to respect that, I ow, Sollux fuck. I – I killed the other fucking guard, okay?”
Sollux made a noise of surprise. That was followed by a derivative snort. “Of course,” he said. “Self-preservation. I should have realized you were in this for yourself.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Eridan snapped back. “I’m royalty, I can get away with culling another fucking guard!” he didn’t mention the fact that someone might decide to take out his yellow-blooded lover as revenge.
Another slam up against the tree and the hand on his shoulder tightened its grip again. “So you still haven’t answered my question.”
Eridan shifted, uncomfortably, and realized, not unsurprisingly, he really, really didn’t want to be here right now. He wanted to be upstairs watching Karkat sleep, maybe even sleeping himself. “I want him,” he said finally, his voice a low whine. “I just want him, is that such a bad thing? I know I’m going to die for it, I don’t fucking care,” he let out a choked sound. “Just let me go already!” he twisted. “You both have your little fucking rebellion thing going on anyway, so maybe I’ll live a bit longer.”
“Maybe we’ll live a little bit longer,” was Sollux’s snarled reply.
Eridan froze. For a moment all he could hear was the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. “Are you threatening me?” he asked, trying to stop his voice from sounding nervous and not quite succeeding.
He didn’t feel any better when Sollux let him go completely, stepping away from him. Eridan curled in on himself, arms around his torso. It made sense. The first he had heard about the rebellion was earlier today, his black lover and his former prisoner had kept everything from him. He was extraneous now, he had done his part and gotten their precious leader out. He felt fear hit him like an ice cold blast of wind to the face. “I’m not any threat to you, you know that,” he said quietly. “Why would I go through the trouble of savin’ him if I was just going to turn him in… both of you in, for a stupid fight you can’t possibly win?”
Sollux folded his arms across his chest. “I know how your head works. You’d do it to save other people. The ones not here yet.”
Eridan sucked in a deep breath, then another. He felt that same coldness set like a stone in the center of his stomach. He had a feeling his relationship with his kismesis was officially over. He hadn’t felt so threatened before in his entire life. Well, post game, that is. “I won’t,” he said finally. The words hurt. This meant everyone else would die. A whole lot of everyone elses. Wasn’t that what he was trying to avoid in the first place? He straightened, still shaken, but looked the other troll in the eyes. “If they want to throw their lives away for some stupid revolution or whatever the fuck, that’s their own damn choices.”
Sollux was silent and Eridan pushed away from the tree, head down as he went for his dropped canteen. He straightened again and looked him in the eyes. “I’m not goin’ to say anything,” there was more silence and Eridan felt like he was going to choke on it. “Let me go,” he said finally, double meaning to his words and only a shade away from actually begging.
The other troll snorted, but took another step away from him.
Eridan fled as quickly as he could without actually looking like he was running.
.
Karkat was still asleep when he got back upstairs. The recuperacoon was too small for any of the adult trolls and the supor slime had long since dried up, so Eridan had to improvise. He bundled up all of the blankets and random objects he could find and had made a sprawling pile in the corner. It wasn’t like Karkat was used to sleeping with supor anyway, after spending two perigees sleeping on a cold hard floor.
He didn’t mean to, but his presence made Karkat jerk awake when he got closer to him. His time in prison and having to be constantly on alert had trained him well.
Eridan offered him a weak smile. He busied himself with uncapping the canteen pouring out a glass of water with slightly shaking hands. He swore softly as a bit splashed out and onto the floor, then picked his way over to Karkat. The troll gave him a questioning look, then tried to sit up. He almost did it, but Eridan had to support him to get him in a sitting position with his free hand.
Karkat shot him a look. “What’s wrong,” he said in his raspy voice. Eridan was fairly sure he damaged it from screaming during his first couple weeks because he hadn’t been able to speak normally since then. Then again, he was fairly sure he hadn’t stopped trying to scream, so it probably hadn’t had a chance to recover.
“Nothing’s wrong, what would make you think that?” Eridan replied. He pressed the cup against the troll’s lips. “Drink,” he said. “It’s just water,” he added.
Karkat did so obediently. When he was done he looked right back at Eridan again, studying him intently. “You’re shaking,” he observed.
“I’m doing nothing of the sort,” Eridan replied, but he gave himself away by shooting a nervous look towards the entrance to the tree house.
Karkat frowned. “What did he say?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Eridan muttered. “He didn’t say nothing,” he put down the now empty glass. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked.
Karkat frowned, then sighed and nodded.
It was nice for once to not have to clean up the mess off the floor, or worse yet from the actual troll himself. He picked Karkat up and took him through the walkways to Terezi’s small bathroom. He supported him with one hand and studied the wall while he took care of his business. Once done he carried him back to the pile and laid him down in it. He pressed a quick kiss to the other troll’s lips before he pulled away again, far too nervous to indulge, even for a second. He went to get up, prepared to find a place to curl up in one of the other rooms of Terezi’s tree house.
Karkat caught his shirt with the couple fingers that did work before he could do so. He gave a small tug to Eridan’s sleeve. “Stay,” he said.
Eridan shot another look towards the door. That got a stronger tug. “Eridan…” there was a pleading note to Karkat’s voice.
“Fine, fine, calm yourself down,” Eridan muttered. He gingerly crawled into the pile, settling down in the blankets behind Karkat. He laid next to him, not quite touching him and was surprised when the other troll shifted closer, curling up against him.
He smelt and Eridan knew that was because he hadn’t had a proper bath in weeks, despite the constant clean-ups. It wasn’t so bad, or at least it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He cautiously placed his arm around the other troll, and smiled softly at him, his eyes kind. “Tomorrow I’ll take you down to the river and give you a proper bath,” he said.
Karkat made a small appreciative sound. “I’d like that,” he said quietly, nosing up against the other troll.
Eridan’s bloodpusher felt like it was going to get stuck in his throat. He was really close. Even back in the prison he hadn’t touched the other troll if he didn’t have to, his actions always quick and utilitarian.
Karkat was asleep again within minutes, his breathing leveling out against Eridan’s neck.
A little while later Eridan heard the sound of Sollux climbing the stairs up to the tree house. He hunched into Karkat, holding him closer despite himself. He knew how bad this looked. Incredibly bad. He shut his eyes and relaxed completely, slipping in an old habit he had picked up over the last year or so when he didn’t feel like getting into a row. Sollux had never attacked him when he was asleep. He hoped he wouldn’t start now.
Sure enough the footsteps approached and paused. Karkat woke up, turning his head towards the sounds, and Eridan deliberately kept himself fake asleep.
It was Karkat who spoke first, his voice vibrating against Eridan’s shoulder. “Go to sleep, Sollux,” he said, sounding even more tired than he had looked earlier, which was a bit of a feat. “I’m okay.”
“What…” Sollux began. He sounded accusatory.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Karkat said, and his voice didn’t leave any room for argument.
For a long moment no one said anything and Eridan resisted the urge to open his eyes. Then Sollux spoke up again. “Fine,” the hacker troll replied with a grumble. The footsteps faded away.
Eridan let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. He felt the injured troll curl back into him, cuddling closer.
.
The next day wasn’t any less awkward than the first. Eridan actively avoided Sollux, who had elected to spend most of the day on his husktop, typing away furiously. When Karkat finally woke up he got him something to drink and told him that he was going to go get some food out of the ship they had landed in. He knew each ship had about a week’s worth of supplies… after that he and Sol would have to start hunting for dinner. Luckily for them they had Sollux’s power, it would probably make bringing down anything food-like easier. They could also head for the city and steal some supplies, but Eridan didn’t even want to think about that. The risks were far too high. Even a smarter lusus could turn them in if it saw them.
.
Karkat expected the talk the moment Eridan left the hive. It didn’t mean he had to like it at all. He listened as the footsteps approached and a certain bi-colored eyed friend walked into the room.
Sollux stood there for a long moment, studying him from near the doorway, arms folded across his chest. “You should have seduced weeks ago if you thought that was going to work,” he said finally.
Karkat’s jaw set. “That’s not what happened,” he replied, his voice still raspy but definitely stronger than the day before.
A bitter smile twisted Sollux’s lips. “Isn’t it?” he dropped his arms and walked closer to Karkat’s pile.
Karkat met his gaze steadily. “No,” he said simply. He sighed when Sollux still looked very skeptical. “It might be hard to believe, but I pitied him. Pity him. Still.”
Sollux gave him an incredulous look. “How is that even…? Karkat look at what he was doing to you!”
“He never laid a finger on me,” Karkat replied quietly.
Sollux paled slightly. “KK, he told me…”
“What others were doing to me?” Sollux was silent. “Did he mention how he’d clean me up every night? Sometimes he was so injured his hands would shake when he was trying to take care of me, but he never stopped,” Karkat paused. “He’d do everything to fix me up and he’d sit with me for most of his shift. It was the only time I ever got some fucking rest.” Sollux looked stricken.
“I didn’t…”
“The only difference between what he was going through and what I was going through is at least I didn’t have to live under the illusion that the troll beating and pailing me actually gave a shit about me.”
Sollux was completely pale now. “Oh god,” he said. “It’s not like that,” he added weakly.
“Bullshit, Sol. What you had was way too black, you were torturing him because you were angry, not because he was your black lover. You should have left him half a sweep ago, and you know it.”
Sollux twitched and looked duly chastised. “I couldn’t,” was the soft confession. “He was my only connection to you.”
“And now?”
Sollux looked away, then looked back to him, a determined expression on his face. “I’ve stopped,” he said. “We’re done,” he added. “I mean I think we’re done,” he hesitated. Eridan had turned him down pretty solidly the night before… and threatening his life had probably sealed the deal. But he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t still hold feelings for the wretched troll. Eridan gave as good as he got… when he fought back. Their relationship was very unequal now, he’d be the first to admit. And Sollux was still not completely convinced letting him live was a good idea, which didn’t bode well for romance in any quadrant.
“If I see you torturing him like that again, I swear to god Sollux when I get better I’m going to kick your ass halfway across this planet for hurting my matesprit. Are we clear?”
Sollux stared at him, then ducked his head with a small smile. “Fine. Deal,” he shook his head. “Fucking matesprit. God KK, I can’t believe you.”
“Believe it,” Karkat paused and his voice softened. “I’ve never seen a troll so dedicated to his work before. When he believes in something he believes in it, and he’ll be a great person to have by our side.”
“Yeah, I still don’t think he’ll convert over so easily…”
“You obviously don’t know him as well as I do. We’ve had him on our side since the moment he decided to rescue me, he won’t stray. This is his entire life now. I’m his entire life now. And, tell me Sollux, what is the one thing Eridan always wanted more than anything?” There was silence and Karkat pressed on. “Why do you think he stayed with you despite what you were doing to him? All he wants is to be loved, like when we were kids, except he’s not a needy entitled douchebag about it anymore.”
Sol shifted again. “Fine, fine,” he muttered. “I get it.”
They both heard him climbing back up to the tree house before he appeared, and stopped talking. Eridan appeared up the hatch, a box of food from the ship they stole clenched tightly in his hands.
Sollux and Eridan exchanged looks. Eridan looked away first, shifting uncomfortably and finally Sollux nodded and stepped away. He shot Karkat one last meaningful look before leaving the room, retreating into one of the back rooms.
Karkat watched as Eridan set about unpacking the box. He pulled the lid off of a container and added water to it to make soup. He approached Karkat with that, kneeling beside him. He smiled and reached out, stroking the side of his face before picking up the spoon and lifting it to Karkat’s lips. The injured troll ate readily, accepting the food without complaint.
He was looking forwards to when he could do this for himself again.
The soup was soon consumed and Eridan put the container down with a little sigh. Karkat watched as he fidgeted and glanced in the direction Sollux had left in.
“He won’t hurt you,” Karkat said quietly.
That got a surprised look, which turned into a pained smile as he realized who Karkat was talking about. “I appreciate that and all, I really do,” Eridan replied. “But I don’t need you protectin’ me.”
That got an eyebrow raise. “Evidently you do,” he was quiet for a moment. “You shouldn’t have to worry if your kismesis is going to kill you or not,” he said. He frowned. “Even before this all happened I wondered how the fuck you two ended up together. You tried to kill each other more times than I can count… even after that stupid fucking game.”
“Grief brings people together, I suppose,” the purple-blooded troll replied quietly. Word had gotten to them both of Feferi’s death at the hands of the Imperial Condesce at the same time a little over a sweep ago. That was the first time they had pailed, after an all out row that involved more fists than power. It left both of them more than a little injured, very sated, and feeling very much alive.
Karkat looked sympathetic now, understanding in his eyes. Eridan sighed and stood. “Come on,” he said, changing the subject. “I’ll take you down to the river.”