Chapter Text
T-minus 30 minutes to encountering Laios Touden for the first time
Another thud, louder than the ones preceding it, resonated through the thick wood. “Kabru!” Rin hissed. “If you don’t come out of there in the next 10 seconds, I’m breaking down the door. I don’t care what state of dress you’re in. This is a house party, not a commemorative gala!”
For a moment, he weighed the idea of waiting for her to barge in. Despite her harsh words, she’d inevitably have one hand slapped firmly over her eyes. Then she’d register how he would just be standing there, fully dressed, and bluster about him wasting her time. It was a familiar play they performed time and time again. But he was trying not to raise her blood pressure too often lately, so the next rise of the curtain would have to wait.
Kabru nudged the door to the bathroom open, sliding into the space between it and the frame. “So what if it’s a house party?” He said, picking up where Rin left off. “That actually means we can be even more dazzling since we don’t have to worry about outshining the Queen.”
“Ugh. Please don’t bring her up. I’m going to be sick.” With two fingers, his fellow tall-man mimed gagging.
“Alright, alright.” He chuckled, raising his hands placatingly. Then he let them fall to his hips. “Let’s discuss better things. How do I look?”
Rin’s scan of his figure could only be described as reluctant and perfunctory. “Like I’ve been saying, you looked fine three outfits ago. You look fine now. Can we go already?” She muttered, not holding eye contact. Her ears were flushed pink.
He nudged her with his shoulder as he passed. “The shorts aren’t too much?” Kabru asked casually.
“Oh, please. You’re not going to scandalize any nobles with those.” Rin scoffed somewhere behind him. That handily scuttled his plan of pretending to want to change back into leggings, but he didn’t mind.
He didn’t mind at all.
T-minus 25 minutes to encountering Laios Touden for the first time
The autumn air outside their shared apartment was cool against his skin. He walked for a time just staring curiously at the presence of gooseflesh along the length of his arms. The number of vestigial features tall-men carried around with them always captured his attention at the oddest of moments. We are walking tomes of history. We’re a collection of disparate traits, some relevant, others not, but all fascinating. It’s neat, isn’t it?
“What is?”
Startled by her attention and the realization he said some of that aloud, Kabru let his arm fall back to his side. “The party life is so vibrant here. I wouldn’t have expected it. I’m glad my mom wasn’t aware of it either when I enrolled, or she probably would have insisted on another school.” He deflected smoothly.
“Riiight.” Rin drew out.
(Well, maybe not that smoothly.)
It was a relief to turn the corner and see the rest of their group waiting. “Hey!” Kabru sped up, waving at them all. “There’s my favorite people in the world!” Once he reached them, he gracefully enveloped Kuro in a half-embrace. Fur tickled his nose. Thankfully, the urge to sneeze didn’t well up too.
Mickbell, always at the kobold’s side, snorted unattractively, more porcine than human. “Stop lying.” He said, but he looked pleased.
“I’m not!” Kabru laughed as he disentangled himself. He swept off the hairs that clung to him before quickly ruffling Mickbell’s hair with his free hand. The outraged squawk only made his mirth all the larger.
Like everything else he did in life, Kabru always adjusted the contact he initiated to suit the person. This was especially important with his friends, this motley collection of souls that were near and dear to him. For Dia, a gentle hand squeeze would do. It had to be perfectly timed, long enough to feel the roughness of her palm, or she’d chase after his hand with a vengeance. Then his poor, delicate bones would be the ones paying the price of her return grasp.
They smiled at each other. It had been a while. The gaping void of midterms had kept them all apart. There was so much he could say. But, in the end, Kabru knew exactly what would fit the situation best.
“So! How’s your fiancé?”
Instantly, Rin groaned. In the midst of trying to smooth back down his mussed up hairstyle, Mickbell snickered. Dia, for her part, only sighed. “I never should have let you meet him.” She lamented. “All you two do is talk about each other. What am I, chopped liver?”
“I could have told you not to allow it. Kabru is a master at working his way into the hearts of our families.” Holm piped up, a slightly spiteful tint to his words.
“Are you still sore about me getting along with your sister?” He asked, faux innocently. “Come on, Holm. She was my TA in Anthropology of Death and Dying!”
“And that requires having tea breaks at her apartment?” The gnome fired back, eyebrows raised.
Kabru performed an effortless shrug. What kind of rebuttal could he make to such an excellent point? None that would land, that was for certain. “Touché. Say, could you remind her to email her the link to the raspberry tea we had last week?”
Now Holm looked aghast. “Stop it! I don’t want to hear about that!” He cried out.
“But it’s really good tea-”
“Bad to bark at pack before party.” Kuro said.
They both faltered under his pointed scrutiny. “You’re right of course. My mistake.” Kabru nodded, recovering first.
“If that’s said and done with,” there came Rin’s voice again, “our Uber should be here any minute.”
Mickbell clasped his hands together, his expression a monument to the act of pleading. “Tell me you sprung for the hippogriff option. Please? You did, right?”
She twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “If you want a hippogriff, you can pay for one yourself. It’s a griffin. Like it was last week and the week before that and the week before that.”
Dismay bullied desperate hope out of the way. “You suck. Like, actually, truly. Holy crap! Those griffins are basically evil. What’s the word you used the other day, Kranom?”
Caught in a failed yawn, Holm slowly rubbed at one of his eyes before answering. “... Ontological?”
“Yeah! They’re ontologically evil. I bet they were invented by a demon just for the express purpose of eating charming and adorable people who mind their own business. How could you do this to m- to Kuro? How could you do this to Kuro, Rin? Look at him. Do you want him to die?” The half-foot gestured wildly at his roommate/scapegoat/family/whatever they were. Naturally, Kuro looked entirely unfazed.
“It’ll be fine, Mickbell.” Kabru told him, pitching his voice to sound more soothing. “We won’t let the nasty monsters get you.”
His friend scowled. “I’m not worried about me!” He huffed.
Over Mickbell’s head, Rin and Kabru exchanged a Look ™. “Look at it this way. Would you prefer the griffin or us walking all the way over to the party?” He added.
“... The griffin.”
Satisfaction coursed through his veins. He gently patted the other man’s cheek. “Great! That’s what I like to hear. Chin up, okay? It’ll be over before you know it. Fun awaits!”
T-minus 2 minutes to encountering Laios Touden for the first time
By the time the traffic cleared up, they were officially late. All of the lights were on already, shining out through every window. Even from within the griffin-drawn car, they could hear the sound of people yelling and the thrum of questionable music. “Wow, they’re going wild in there! Maybe I should swing back when I’m done working, huh?” Their driver quipped.
You should definitely not do that. It’s a bit strange that you’d joke about that at all. Kabru thought. “Thank you for bringing us here!” Outwardly, he beamed while handing over some gold coins as a tip.
Mickbell didn’t even bother to engage with the usual pleasantries of wishing someone safe travels. He practically flew out of the car, disappearing into the house before they could so much as blink. Kuro’s pace was more sedate, but he did the same. “We should probably track them down before they cause problems.” Dia noted with a shrug. She slid out of her seat to trail after the pair. What else was there to do but follow?
Out in the open air, the sounds from the party grew louder. It shook his bones, too insistent on asserting itself to be contained. Even some of the attendees had spilled out of the house. Two blonde girls laid together on the lawn, staring up at the sky. Both were flushed and giggling like the clouds were the funniest thing they had ever seen. The elf pointed at one and said some fragment of a spell in Elvish. Nothing happened. The women laughed harder at the failure, almost wheezing in their drunken state. Kabru smiled, amused, and left them to it.
They found the dastardly duo by the drinks. Mickbell was talking to another half-foot, this one graying and with a terminal case of resting bitch face. Kuro somehow had begun nursing a drink in the time since they saw him last, his paws keeping a death grip on his red cup. Kabru idly contemplated getting one of them to kick off introductions, but the allure of alcohol was stronger. “I needed this.” He hummed while pouring himself a beer. “I’ve been a hermit for far too long. I started to think I’d never get to have fun again-”
Lift off.
“Rin.” His voice lost all of the levity against his control. It couldn’t be helped. Only intensity remained. “Do you know who that is?”
“Huh?” She tilted her head, following his line of sight. “That tall-man? No. Should I? Do you?”
Kabru shook his head. “I don’t either. But I will in a minute. Don’t wait for me, okay?” Before he could hear her reply, he was off into the crowd.
Here was a statement for the record: Kabru didn’t believe in love at first sight. This, this mad rush to get closer to someone, wasn’t that. On that day, he didn’t dodge elbows and endure the splash of liquor against his fingers for something as tricky as love. He was simply following his nature. It had happened with everyone he valued at least once. The drive to understand them completely and totally would hook him, and he’d always choose to stay on the line and see where it led.
Once he made it through the throng, it was as simple as anything to casually end up by the stranger’s side. “What are you doing over here by yourself?” came his opener, both coy and shameless.
And… nothing. They stood there together, unmistakably involved in a conversation, but the blond man didn’t react at all to this simple fact. That was, until he glanced at Kabru, blinked, and did a double take. “Wait. Are you talking to me?”
Well, duh. Unfortunately, the awkwardness of being ignored did little to dull his enthusiasm for the hunt. “Do you see any other guys around that I’d be talking to?” He teased. When the stranger started to blatantly scan the room though, he realized that wasn’t the right approach either. “I’m joking. Of course I’m talking to you.”
Surprise was written all over the stranger’s face. “Oh! Huh. Er, cool. This doesn’t usually happen to me. Have we shared a class or something? Shoot, did I forget to do a group project with you?”
“No and no!” It was only due to endless amounts of practice that he kept smiling. “I just wanted to introduce myself. It’s rare for me to see people at these events that I don’t know by now, you see. I’m Kabru.”
The man sounded out his name silently, golden eyes wide with what looked like wonder. “Wow. That’s nice of you, Kabru! I’m Laios. Laios Touden.” For a split second, Laios began to raise his hand, as if to ask for a handshake. Kabru watched in horror as it inched upward. Then, in what had to be a miracle, Laios scrunched up his nose and dropped it again.
And so, Kabru did not have to endure the indignity of shaking the hand of someone he was unsuccessfully trying to charm into opening up to him. Small mercies, that.
“Laios.” He said, coating this new morsel in honey. “You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Ah, you’re right! I didn’t. Honestly, I just don’t know where my sister went, so I’m staying where she saw me last. She’s the one who made me come. I don’t really get how she likes this sort of thing. But at least I get to drink.” Laios confessed. He chased the rush of words with a sip. His throat bobbed.
He’s from the Northern Continent. Kabru noted, fixated on the curve of his neck. Though not from any settlements I recognize. I can’t clock the region alone from his accent. Touden, Touden. I’ll have to search up the origin for that name. It doesn’t ring a bell.
Then there’s his size. He’s not flushed at all, even though this certainly isn’t his first or second drink tonight if I’m reading him correctly. His tolerance is probably high. He seems decently fit too. Perhaps an athlete? I’m sure to be faster than him anyway, but it’d be interesting to ascertain his physical capabilities. A fun side project, maybe.
All of those calculations happened in the blink of an eye. Back in the real world, Kabru looked at the other man through his eyelashes and loosened the grip on his own cup. “Well,” he said, raising it to his lips with a smile, “it’s not a crime to not want to mingle. But, hey, I’ll keep you company anyway. You look like you could cause some trouble. Unless you don’t want me to?”
Laios shook his head, suddenly frantic. “No! Uh, no. You can stay. I don’t mind.” With his shoulders hunched up to around his ears and his cheeks aflame, he looked ridiculous. Absurdly, Kabru itched to snap a photo of him.
“You’re in luck then. Everyone always says it’s impossible to get rid of me. I’m a proud barnacle.”
Of all the jokes, of all the angles, that was the one to make Laios guffaw into his beer. “You have too nice of a face to be a barnacle.” The other man said, so sincerely that words failed him. But that wasn’t all he had to share. “Actually though, it’s possible to remove barnacles. Monsters and animals both do it. The hafgufa actually has been seen breaching to get them off! So do whales! It’s just not foolproof. So maybe you’re one of the giant barnacles it didn’t work on.”
“Huh.” A lot of follow up questions came to mind. Such as ‘Who says that?’ or ‘No, really, who decides to say that?’ or even ‘Why have countless decisions and quirks of fate led to me having to lean into being analogous to a monster’s parasite?’ “What’s a hafgufa?” was what left his mouth instead.
“They’re a type of monster that resembles a whale! They’re kinda like a starfish though. They actually turn their stomachs inside out to draw in fish. I think they’re fascinating. One of my classmates lost an uncle to one though. I found that out the hard way during Marine Thaumazoology.” Though he scratched at his cheek, seemingly sheepish, his pupils were dilated. Laios Touden almost shone in that moment, even under the neon light.
The truth was clear. Laios loved monsters. Out of everyone at this party, Kabru had picked out his antithesis to focus his attentions on. I should go. He sighed internally. I really should. It’d be the best for both of us.
So, why was he scooting closer? Why was his hand resting against a pale arm? “You couldn’t have known. Faux pas aside, I’m sure you’re a hit in the Thaumazoology department. That’s what you study, right?” He pressed before taking another drink. It burned on the way down.
“Not… exactly?” Laios ducked his head, the blush returning in full force. “I couldn’t figure out the chemistry part. Also, the mana sickness was the worst, and they focus way too much on spirits. So I’m doing history instead since they still let me write papers about what I really like.”
Kabru pictured him typing out essays about written documentation of dungeons over the past century. It was a funny image despite the stomach-turning subject matter. “There’s no shame in that. I never liked chemistry either, to tell you the truth!” Another lie, another pretty fiction to make the other man relax. “Thankfully, those days are behind me. Not that double majoring in anthro and psych was the most reasonable choice, but it’s all relative. Say, do you want to dance? This school talk must be boring you.”
A pink tongue darted out to nervously lick across thin lips. “I’m not good at that.” Laios said, frank to a fault. “And it’s not! It’s cool that you’re doing so much. I feel tired just with history and my cooking minor.”
Culinary arts too? A part of him wanted to wheedle his opposite into preparing a meal for him. But the rest of him, the parts with sense and sometimes uncanny insight, suspected he’d regret such a decision. “You flatter me. I’m just good with time management, that’s all.” Kabru replied, fluttering his eyelashes for good measure.
When the dilation didn’t return, he resorted to plan C. Knowing well that his cup was empty, he raised it to his lips anyway before feigning confusion. “Oops. I’m all out. Let’s get a refill, shall we? I think I saw some wine coolers over there.”
As he walked off, Laios followed, much to his delight. “Is that your favorite kind of drink?” The other man asked.
So he can show interest in other people! That’s good. That takes a weight off my mind. “I’ll drink anything.” Kabru replied with full honesty. Any drink was fair game, especially if the people he was talking with had a clear preference for one over the other. “But I do like wine coolers. The fruit juice adds to the flavor for me.”
“That’s cool. I usually just stick with beer. One of my friends drinks a lot of dwarven beer.” Laios’ face brightened then. “I didn’t know they used fruit juice though! I’ve been experimenting with dryad fruits lately. I could make you a wine cooler with it if you want!”
And like that, Kabru was crushed under the weight of his horror once more. He deliberately pivoted on his heel, keeping his back to Laios so his expression couldn’t be seen. This is the worst. Is this karma? Did I do something so wrong that I have to endure this? Again, the idea of disengaging reared its head. Again, he shooed it away. “Sure, that sounds great!” He told him while dumping his bright red drink into a glass. “I’d love that.” Then he tilted his head back and chugged the entire concoction. Frankly, he had earned it.
“Wow…” Laios’ eyes went large. He looked almost like an owl. Kabru would even go so far as to interpret admiration in that strange amber gaze. “You know, it’s not a rabbit.”
“Huh?”
“Your drink? It’s not going to bolt away from you if you’re not quick enough.”
Maybe he was too tipsy. The booze was clouding his brain. That had to be it. There was no other explanation for why he doubled over, gasping in laughter at Laios’ first meek, then pleasantly surprised, and finally smug look. “Was it that funny?”
“N-No,” Kabru forced out unconvincingly, struggling to keep the giggles back, “not at all. Don’t try to be a comedian, okay? Stick with whatever you’re doing.”
Laios, apparently taking the statement as a conversational opener, began a new spiel about flexibility. If half of what he was saying was true, and Kabru thought it probably was, the man was a dropout, deserter, and occasional dungeoneer. “There’s probably people who’ve always known what they want to do. But that’s never been me. I’m still trying to understand things about the world. And myself too, I guess.” His smile took on a puzzled slant, like the concept of his self was an afterthought.
Kabru stood there, watching him and desperately wanting to know it all.
“In my opinion,” he replied at last, “if you had known your path, we most likely wouldn’t have met. You might be in a dungeon right now or pursuing some other future I can hardly guess at. So I find it impossible to think it’s a bad thing that you’ve taken some twists and turns to arrive on this road.”
Laios nodded to himself, all bright again. He grinned, soft and gleaming. “You know, I keep saying this in my head, but you really are a-”
“Laiiiiiioooooos!”
Simultaneously, they jumped. Their heads swiveled to gawk at the dwarf waving at them from across the room. “We’re leaving now!” The woman hollered. “Say bye to whoever that is!”
“Ehhh, already?” Laios wilted. One could almost imagine a drooping tail. As he reinstated eye contact, he looked apologetic. “Sorry, I have to go. Namari hates wasting time. But you were fun to talk to, Kabru! See you around.”
At the sight of Laios turning away, he moved without thinking. “Wait a second!” Kabru blurted out, grasping his arm.
“I really have to go, Kabru.” Laios replied with a slight frown.
This guy… “I know, but this will be quick. You enjoyed talking, didn’t you? I feel the same. I’d like to continue our conversation. Please take out your phone.” He held up his own for the other man to see.
Like that, the slight admonishment vanished. “Oh! Sure, yeah. That makes sense.” Large hands ran over pockets, questing for the device in question. “Um…” Again, they searched. Again, Laios came up empty. “I might have… forgotten it at home?”
THIS GUY.
“That’s fine!” Kabru beamed, reciting curses in the privacy of his mind. “You know your number, don’t you? Just give that to me instead, and I’ll get in touch with you when I can.”
Carefully, almost gingerly, Laios typed each and every digit into the blank contact. The second he received his phone back, his fingers flew to record this odd puzzle’s name. “Great! Hey, let’s take a photo too!”
The lighting was awful. Their faces were too close together. They didn’t look like they were reacting to the same event whatsoever. It was, all in all, a perfect baseline. “There.” He said, pleased. “You’re free to go now. But don’t forget about me, okay?”
“Alright!” Laios agreed, waving. And then he was gone in a rush of awkward limbs.
Kabru only looked after his departing form long enough to see him get scolded by the supposed Namari. Anything more would have been a level of humiliation he refused to reach in one night. The party hadn’t lost its luster after all. There were more drinks to be had, more people to observe, more fun to indulge in.
Really, Kabru was on top of the world.
[The account kabru.28 has uploaded a new post!]
Comments:
_itsmickbell: how the hell do you always find someone new to talk to every week
sadenastyle: nice 👌
milsirildollsofficial: Kabru. Was this taken at a party? Call me.
laios.touden: hi kapru! thanks for tagging me on this. nice meeting you!
[No correction on this typo is posted, even after a week.]