Chapter Text
Regulus looked up when he heard the sound of a notification coming from James’ phone. Quickly checking if he was awake yet, he squinted his eyes at the screen, trying to read the text that had come in.
It was an unmarked number, but Regulus couldn’t read the text. He didn’t have to though, because he was fairly sure he knew what it contained, or at least he had an idea.
Sighing, he dropped back down on the matrass, debating if he should wake James up. After two other notifications, which seemed to be from the same number, he decided he better did if he didn’t want to throw the phone against a wall.
He kissed him lightly on his cheek, mumbling: ‘It’s time to wake up now, James.’ Regulus tried to get out of his grip, pushing against his arms slightly. Grunting, the other boy started blinking slowly. ‘Mhm, stay.’
‘James, it’s almost noon. I bet your parents are already wondering where you are, since you never sleep in this late,’ Regulus said, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of that. James tightened his arms around him, pressing kisses against his nek. ‘Please, love?’
Regulus could groan out of frustration. James knew as well as he did that the nickname would win him over: ‘Uh, fine.’ ‘Thank you, love,’ the boy whispered against his skin, rewarding him with a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
‘You got three texts just now,’ Regulus couldn’t help but remark. He immediately hated himself for saying it, but James just hummed: ‘I’ll check them later.’ Furring his eyebrows, he snuggled his head against James’ chest, trying not to overthink the entire situation, but utterly failing.
James had been getting texts from a lot of different unmarked numbers this summer, and Regulus feared the worst. Though he knew this was probably just a summer thing, he still had kind of hoped it meant something, but obviously he was wrong. He definitely couldn’t blame James or any of his hookups though: James was the sun. Who wouldn’t want the sun?
He had been advised several times by Pandora and Dorcas to just put an end to this, but of course he couldn’t. If he had this tiny chance to be with the amazingly popular boy, even if it was only for the summer, he would take it, with open arms. He always would. Who could blame him? James was so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious.
He had nothing, and sometimes he even questioned if his life would be better if he never left his family like Sirius had, knowing really good it wouldn’t. The only thing he had now was this, whatever this was. And this too would soon be taken away, when Sirius returned from their stay with the Lupins. After that, James Potter’s life would go on, while he would stay behind, having nothing again.
He turned around reluctantly, untangling James’ arms from around his body. The boy sent him a sad look, trying to manipulate him in staying, but Regulus ignored it. ‘I’m hungry. Let’s go eat breakfast.’ ‘Fine, love. Give me a minute to get dressed,’ James said, giving up on begging.
They walked down to the kitchen, where Euphemia was sitting at the table, reading a book. She looked up upon hearing them enter. ‘Good morning, my darlings. Finally up? Would any of you like some tea?’, she asked, giving them a warm smile. ‘That would be lovely, thank you,’ Regulus spoke, giving her a smile back. Euphemia Potter would always have a place in his heart, being the closest thing to a mother he ever had.
‘I’m going to take a quick shower,’ James replied, ‘I’ll take that tea later though. Thanks, mum.’ Effie gave him a nod, and he walked out the kitchen, humming a song that sounded suspiciously much like Blank Space.
Regulus sat down awkwardly, waiting for his tea. When Effie finally placed it on the table, he immediately took a sip, a warm feeling filling him along with the liquid.
The woman sat in front of him, and Regulus saw before she opened her mouth that she was going to say something important.
‘I’m very happy for you, darling,’ she finally stated after a few minutes. ‘I don’t have a doubt that you and Jamie will treat each other amazingly, but if there’s anything you want to talk about you are always welcome here, and I’m pretty sure Monty thinks the same about it.’
‘I’m sorry, Effie, I think you might have understood it wrong-,’ Regulus spluttered, not wanting James’ mother to have the wrong idea about them. But Effie interrupted him quickly: ‘Nonsense. It’s perfectly clear to me. I’ve always been able to see it when Jamie’s in love.'
Regulus immediately fell silent. In love? James was in love? Maybe the unknown number was more than just a casual hookup, then. ‘Do forgive me if I’m wrong, but I think I see it in your eyes too, dear,’ Effie interrupts his thoughts. She walks out of the kitchen, leaving Regulus stunned with his mouth slightly open.
Oh, if only she knew what went through his head every time he saw James. Every time he hoped that they would fight the stereotypes of mismatched star signs, and end up together. Every time James kissed him, and he knew that no one would ever kiss him like that. That he would be screwed up forever.
Regulus was still lost in thought when James entered the kitchen again, his hair still slightly damp from the shower, pressing a small kiss on the crown of Regulus’ head. ‘Hey, love,’ he murmured, taking a cup from the counter and making himself some tea. He sat down at the table, opposite Regulus, and gave him a cheeky grin.
Regulus stayed quiet and looked at him, the boy who caught his attention like no one ever did. The boy he wrote about on many pages of his old diaries, those he eventually ripped out because he was scared Sirius would read them. The boy he first saw on the quidditch pitch, not knowing who he was and how quickly he would fall.
The sound of a notification got his attention. He and James both looked at the lit up screen of James’ phone, interrupting the stares between them. Regulus couldn’t see it clearly, but he was fairly sure it was an unmarked number again, reminding him of the reasons why this wasn’t a good idea. James was in love, for fuck’s sake. He shouldn’t be giving up his chances at a relationship with the person he loved for a summer fling with Regulus. And Regulus shouldn’t be this selfish and try to take away James’ chance of love, even if he was in love with him. Because that’s what it was. Love.
‘I think we should stop this,’ he blurted out, and immediately regretted it. But he knew that it was the right choice, for both of them. ‘Wait, what? Love, what are you talking about?’, James replied, the panic in his voice clear. Regulus felt sorry for him. He probably wasn’t ready to admit he’s in love yet, and of course he wouldn’t force it on him. ‘Don’t, James,’ he said, his voice coming out a whisper, ‘This is better for both of us. We can’t do this anymore. It’s not healthy.’
‘Tell me what you want then, Reg. Do you want me to tell Sirius? I will, for you. Do you want me to-,’ James rambled, before Regulus interrupted him. ‘I need us to stop this, James. I just can’t anymore.’ To his surprise, James fell quiet, staring at him with big eyes, clearly thinking.
‘Alright then, I won’t pressure you,’ he finally stated. Regulus felt his heart rip in pieces: it was clearly easy for James to stop seeing him. It hurt more than it should have, knowing Regulus was the one who broke up with him.
He saw James was about to say something else, and waited patiently. He knew James had a hard time expressing himself, finding the right words, when he was stressed or frustrated. After a while, James asked his question, voice shaking from what seemed to be anxiety.
‘Would you-,’ he started, before trying again. ‘Can I kiss you?’, he asked. ‘Just one last time?’, he quickly followed, seeing Regulus face turning unsure.
Regulus hesitated. One last kiss wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? Knowing full well it would probably hurt him, he allowed it anyway. ‘Okay,’ he replied, his voice almost inaudible.
James’ face lighted up with something that looked like hope, and he walked around the table, hesitantly reaching Regulus. On his turn, he stood up, facing the boy who he knew would always be his first love. As if he was making sure, James seemed to ask him a question with his eyes, slightly tilting his head. Regulus found it obnoxiously endearing, and gave him a light nod.
When he leaned in, it felt like the world stood still.
It was a really soft kiss. It wasn’t rough, or passionate, but it felt like everything.
After what felt like hours, but also way too short, they broke apart. Regulus allowed himself one last glance at his lover’s face, before he left. Looking into each other’s eyes, he was sure he was officially screwed up forever. Just when he was about to turn away for the last time, James grabbed his hand and said something to Regulus he would remember for a long time: ‘We will get back together. I promise.’