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Exer wasn’t naive. He’d experienced his fair share of hardship. The crushing fear of everybody he loved leaving him when they found out about the magic; the daily guilt and anxiety associated with hiding something so large and important; the excruciating pain of his magic attacks, still dwarfed in sheer anguish by The Jackson Thing. But that all made sense. It complied with the overarching fairness of the universe. Exer had treated people terribly. He’d made Pamela’s life miserable. He’d tortured Jackson so badly he’d needed therapy for it. He’d hurt David. So, yeah, he’d suffered, but that was fair. It was just. Karma. Bad things happened to bad people.
But David wasn’t like that. Ever since they were little, all David had ever wanted was for the people he loved to be happy. He was the kind of guy who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. No, really. He insisted on catching them in cups and carrying them outside. He was fiercely protective and wonderfully brave, and one of those people who was kind not because he knew he was supposed to be but because it had genuinely never occurred to him to be otherwise.
So why had this happened to him? Exer had done a lot of terrible things, but he had a loving and supportive father who had stood by his side after finding out he had literal demonic magic.
But David, protective and brave and kind, had gotten stuck with William, who beat him and yelled at him and kicked him out.
Why? If there was any modicum of fairness in the world, it should have been Exer.
It should have been him.
“Exer?”
Exer startled, suddenly back in David’s mom’s backyard. David was looking at him curiously, though he had to pull away from Exer to do it, which was unacceptable and in need of immediate remedy. Exer pulled David towards him again, until his face was smushed against Exer’s chest.
“I was just thinking.”
David asked “About what?” but his face was still smushed so it sounded rather like “Abuh wa?”
About the crushing unfairness of the universe and your violently homophobic father. “Hot chocolate.”
David nodded. “Mmm. Huh chuclate’s good”
A memory hit Exer, and he smiled. “Do you remember when we were kids and we’d spend hours out in the snow building those huge forts, and then we’d come in with our hands almost frozen off and your mom would have hot chocolate with little snowman marshmallows ready for us? I dream about that hot chocolate.”
A smile flickered across David’s face too and he lifted his head. “You always bit the heads off the snowmen.”
“And you’d make up elaborate stories with them. Remember Mrs. Snow? Poor snowwoman. Her husband never watered the candy canes," said Exer. He felt warm with the memory of tiny David, cheeks red from the cold, jumping around the Miller's kitchen in elaborate reenactments of the dramas of snowman life.
David looked down, smile gone as quickly as it had appeared. “After you went back home that snowstorm in fifth grade my father made me swear to never do that again. It was like dolls, and dolls were for sissies.” David laughed, but not in the way that meant he found anything funny. “Guess that didn’t do him much good.”
Exer’s heart sank, and the anger from earlier came back in full force. He wanted to watch William Miller burn. But David was more important. He took David's face in his hands and stared until David made eye contact. “There is nothing wrong with you, David.”
David turned his face away, but Exer didn’t let go. “You don’t get it! There is! There has to be something wrong with me!” He turned back now, eyes wide and desperate. Tears dripped down his face. “Why else would somebody do something like that to their own son?”
Exer’s heart broke in two. “There’s something wrong with him! It’s not your fault, David, it’s not, it’s not.” He spoke loudly and desperately as if by virtue of vigor he could drill those words into David’s head. There were so many other things Exer wanted to say, but he was immobilized by the sheer unfairness of everything. David, a boy made of light, was crying and crying and crying and Exer half expected that if he pulled away pieces of David would be splattered across his shirt. This was so irrevocably wrong and yet the birds still sang and the trees still swayed and the clouds drifted unconcernedly across the sky. Exer pulled David closer to him.
In between sobs, David gasped out “I don’t get it. When I’m with you, I feel so right. It makes me happier than anything else.” His cries quieted, and he looked at Exer imploringly. “How can it be wrong?” His voice broke. “How can it be wrong to be so happy?”
Then, more quietly. “Why does he hate me so much?”
Exer realized all of a sudden that he was crying too. “I don’t know. I don’t know. But he’s wrong, David. He’s so wrong! There is nothing wrong with you. It’s all him. You are wonderful and amazing and smart and my favorite person in the whole universe.” Exer paused, pressing a kiss against the top of David’s head. “I love you so much, Day.”
David let out another sob and pressed himself further into Exer’s chest. Exer tightened the blanket around them and held David tight as he could as sobs wracked his body. He’d healed the bruises, but magic couldn’t help with intangible wounds. He couldn’t keep people from hating them because they loved each other. The sun went down, and they cried, and Exer realized for the first time how little so much magic actually helped anything at all.
Sometime later, Brenda came outside.
She smiled, but her eyes were sad. She looked years older than she had the day before, and Exer was reminded that she’d lost a father today too. “The hot chocolate’s ready. Mom also bought marshmallows and whipped cream.” Brenda hesitated. “Jackson and his friends left. Pam and Ron are inside.”
Exer nodded and helped David up. Jackson was a problem for another day. He extended one end of the blanket to Brenda, and she took it gratefully. They walked back to the house like that and it reminded Exer of how when they were kids they’d once wrapped a towel around themselves just like this and called it an invisibility cloak. They’d defeated Voldemort, and the villain was destroyed. That’s how it had worked for so long.
When they got to the kitchen, Ms. Miller had set out cups of hot cocoa for them, and she was in the living room on the phone again. There was a bag of snowman marshmallows on the table. Exer sank into the chair next to Pamela, and she took his hand. Brenda and David squished themselves into one chair like they were trying to recreate their days in the womb.
They all drank in silence for a while, with Brenda intermittently whispering to David. He smiled a couple of times, so Exer counted it a win. The marshmallows went unopened.
Eventually, Ron broke the silence. He set his mug down forcefully, hands still shaking. “William evil.”
Brenda nodded emphatically. “Yes, he is. He’s dead to me.”
Exer was inclined to agree, but David shook his head at his sister. “Brenda, you don’t have to do that. He doesn’t hate you. You deserve a father.”
“That man is not my father,” spit Brenda, like she’d accidentally swallowed kerosene.
David took her hand. “Brenda-”
“No. A father doesn’t- doesn’t hurt his children.”
“Brenda, I don’t want to-”
“No, David, listen to me! That man is an awful, horrible, disgusting monster. He is not even human being adjacent, and he is most certainly not my father. But you are my brother. You are my brother and I love you so much.” She took his other hand. “Do you understand?”
David and Brenda were both crying, but David choked out a “Yeah.” Actually, Exer was crying too. As were Pamela and Ron. It was probably good that they were drinking so much hot cocoa because otherwise they’d all be passed out from dehydration.
Pamela sighed. “David, I know that this is really hard for you, and I am so sorry it happened. You need time to process, and these next few days are going to be rough. But I just want to make sure you know, you too Exer, that we love and support both of you. We’re here for whatever you need.”
“Yes, yes. Caring very much about David and Exer,” agreed Ron.
David buried his face in Brenda’s chest and sobbed, so Exer swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke for both of them. “Thank you, guys.”
David's voice was muffled, but they all heard him just fine when he sobbed “I love you guys so much!”
Brenda spread her arms. “Group hug!”
Exer, Pamela, and Ron wrapped themselves around David and Brenda and everyone was crying and there was an elbow in Exer’s face but then they were all laughing too, kind of hysterically, and for a moment Exer remembered that they were 17.
Ms. Miller found them like that, laughing and crying on the floor. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around her children, and everyone was quiet.
Then she pulled away and glanced at the clock. She turned to Pamela, Ron, and Exer. “It’s getting late, kids. I can’t express how thankful I am to all of you for being here, and for caring so much about my son. You’re welcome to stay, but you’d have to talk to your parents.”
Pamela shook her head regretfully. “I’m sorry, guys, but I think I need to talk to Jackson.”
“That’s okay, Pam. We get it. We’ll talk again tomorrow," said Brenda, giving her a smile.
Ron stood and pulled Pamela up. “Also should be getting back to the Smith’s.”
They both hugged David one last time and then Ms. Miller and Brenda walked them to the door. David and Exer were left on the kitchen floor.
Exer studiously avoided David’s eyes. This was probably the part where he was supposed to say goodbye, but the idea of leaving David right now sounded less appealing than going on a date with Marty, which said something. He knew he couldn't follow David around forever, but the idea of letting him get hurt again made bile rise in the back of Exer's throat.
“Exer?” David was looking down at the ground, hesitant. “Would you…”
Exer looked up hopefully. “Yeah?”
David smiled at him shyly, and Exer would have given him anything. “Would you stay with me tonight?”
Exer grinned more widely than he had since pulling into the Miller’s driveway.“Of course, I will, Day.”
Exer reached out and gently put a hand on David’s cheek and then they were looking at each other and David’s face was getting closer and closer and-
David turned away, still smiling. “You should probably call your dad.”
Exer stood quickly. “Oh! Yes- Yeah. Calling my dad! Yup.”
“Hold on.” David pulled him back down and kissed him chastely. When he pulled away, his cheeks were pink, and Exer was entranced by the way that his eyes-
“Exer.”
“Yeah?”
“Your dad?”
“Oh! Oh, right, yeah. Going, going!”
Exer stood and practically ran out of the room, face on fire. He was so busy trying not to accidentally do something embarrassing like make things float or summon birds to do his hair that he almost walked into David’s mom, who was standing in the living room, looking dazed.
She reached a hand out to him in concern. “Exer! Are you alright?”
“Yes! Yeah, I’m- I’m good.” he squeaked (with dignity)
She ran a hand through her hair tiredly. “Sorry, that- that was probably not a good question. Of course you aren’t alright. I don’t think anyone is today.” She looked so fragile at that moment that Exer wanted to wrap her up in his arms and comfort her. He’d never felt that way about a parental figure before, and it was disconcerting.
Ms. Miller shook her head. “Anyway, Exer, can I help you with anything? You ran out of there like something was on fire.”
Yeah, my dignity, thought Exer, but he only shook his head. “Actually, I was wondering… Is it alright if I stay tonight? I’ll sleep on the floor! I just- I don’t want to leave David alone.”
Ms. Miller smiled and pulled Exer into a hug. “Oh, Exer. Of course you can stay, if Harry’s alright with it. You’re always welcome here. And you’re not sleeping on the floor.”
Exer smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Ms. Miller.”
She pulled away and smiled back at him. “Please, call me Christine. And thank you, for loving my son.”
Exer grinned at her. “It’d be harder not to” He looked down, frowning, and hesitated. “But it drives me crazy that some people hate us so much for it.”
Ms. Miller looked very sad. Distantly, Exer wondered where she kept all that sadness when she wasn't using it. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you. William was full of hate before either you or David had even been conceived. This world tells people to be scared of anything that makes them feel threatened. Anything different. And that fear turns into hate very quickly. But I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of other people’s problems. You and David are too young.” She smiled sadly. “Though neither of you seems very young today.”
She turned and gestured to the phone. “Please Exer, call your father.”
Exer nodded. For some reason, he felt like crying again.
Ms. Miller walked into the kitchen, and Exer heard her and David talking quietly.
He dialed his dad’s number.
“Harry Campbell speaking.”
“Hey, Dad.”
“Exer! Is everything all right? How’s David?”
Exer leaned against the wall and sighed. “It’s bad, Dad. It’s really bad.”
There was a pause. “Was it his father?”
Exer felt the cool paint of the wall against his neck. “Can I stay at David’s mom’s house tonight?”
“Of course, son. But are you alright? I’m concerned.”
“I’m working on it, Dad. And…. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything. For being there. You’re a really great dad.”
“Thank you, Exer, but I’m worried about you. I love you very much.”
“We’ll talk when I get home. Love you too, Dad.”
Exer hung up the phone. Nothing was fair.
Brenda found him curled up against the wall. Without a word, she slid down next to him and put her head on his shoulder.
“What’d your dad say?”
Exer grimaced. “He said yes.”
Brenda turned towards him, confused. “Then what’s wrong?”
He ran a hand down his face. “It’s just… I don’t know. I love my dad so much. He’s a great guy. But David deserves a dad like that too, and so do you. It’s wrong.”
Brenda shrugged. “It’s not. People can’t control who their parents are, that’s just how it works. Besides, David and I got a really awesome mom.” she smiled at him. “And anyway, I’m glad that Harry’s your father, because he gave us you.”
Brenda spoke surely, like she always did, and her face was sincere. She had been through so much today, but here she was, still strong. Exer hugged her. “Brenda, I think that you’re the bravest person I know. I don’t know how you’re doing this. I’m a mess.”
She hugged him back tightly. “I’m a mess too. We all are. It drives me crazy that I’m made out of him.” She leaned away, eyes bright. “But screw that. He doesn’t get that much power over me.”
Exer grinned and ruffled her hair. “See, what did I say? Bravest person I know.”
Brenda shook her head again, smiling. “I don’t know. Lucy Furr’s pretty cool.”
"Wait, where is Lucy?" asked Exer, with no small amount of panic. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten about his cat. "I haven't seen her since I went outside."
"Oh, she's alright. Peacefully sleeping on top of the fridge downstairs. I gave her some canned fish after Pam and Ron left." Brenda stood and held out a hand to him. “I’m going to set up some sleeping bags in the living room. Come help me. I think everyone’s sleeping down here tonight.”
Exer took her hand, immeasurably glad that after everything she was his friend.
Exer and Brenda covered Brenda’s living room with pillows and blankets and set up four sleeping bags. It kind of looked like a pillow monster had been violently ill. “Are you sure your mom’s gonna want to sleep down here?”
Brenda nodded. “I don’t think she’ll be letting David out of her sight for a while.”
Exer thought of purple splattering David’s face. “I don’t want to either.”
“Me neither, honestly,” admitted Brenda.
Exer shot her a smile. “We can start a David Protection Agency.”
Brenda laughed. “Oh, he’ll love that.” She looked at him deviously. “I’ll let you handle the shower supervision, though.”
Exer dropped the pillow he was holding. “Wh- I- Brenda!!!! Why would you say that!?” he sputtered.
She continued laughing maniacally. Alright, so it was going to be like that. Exer knelt down and picked up the pillow he’d dropped. It hit Brenda’s face with a satisfying thump.
Then Brenda looked at him and it occurred to Exer that perhaps he should be terrified, but he never got to finish that thought because there were feathers in his mouth, and really, he’d never been a poultry person for a reason. He shouted and Brenda laughed again and soon Exer had Brenda pinned to the couch and was pummeling her with a pillow, feeling rather satisfied, but then something hit the back of his head. He turned and there was David, already picking up another pillow, his mother watching them fondly.
Ten more minutes found them all gasping on the floor, disillusioned with the allures of a soft pillow. “So, who won?” asked David, from where he was lying across from Exer.
Exer spit feathers onto the carpet and mumbled “Let’s call it a tie” though he privately thought Brenda had destroyed both of them. In his defense, David and Brenda had totally ganged up on him towards the end, because they were dirty cheaters with no respect for the laws of pillow war.
Exer’s mom walked over from where she had been leaning against the door frame and picked up the fluffy weapons of mass destruction. She threw one at each of them. “Alright kids, it’s late. Time for bed.”
David groaned. “Mommm! We’re almost eighteen!”
She knelt down and plucked a feather out of his hair. “I know, pumpkin. Let me pretend for one more night.”
They all brushed their teeth and David lent Exer a pair of blue plaid PJs which he was trying very hard not to think about. Brushing his teeth next to David, Exer could see them in their twenties, their thirties; he could see them growing old together, brushing their teeth like this every night for the rest of their lives. He felt warm, and it had nothing (okay maybe a little bit) to do with the PJs. When they finally stumbled sleepily down the stairs, Brenda and David’s mom were both in their sleeping bags. Brenda was snoring, which was a habit Exer had really hoped she’d grown out of.
Exer knelt to unzip his bag, and David said “These sleeping bags are pretty big.”
Exer looked at David questioningly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
David looked away, cheeks pink. “Do you…?”
“Do I?”
David turned away hurriedly and started fluffing his pillow. Exer couldn’t see his face anymore, but the tips of his ears were bright red. “Nothing. Just, y’know, I bet we could fit into one.”
“Oh. Oh!” Exer grinned. “Hmm.. I dunno, we both had a lot of hot cocoa.”
David’s ears flushed brighter. “Exer!”
Exer laughed. “Sorry, sorry. Are you trying to ask me something?”
David groaned. “I hate you.”
Exer shrugged. “Well then, I guess I’ll just lie down in my sleeping bag. All alone.”
A pillow connected with Exer’s face again, except he was pretty sure he deserved it this time.
“Okay, Okay, scooch over.” Exer crawled over to where David was pouting at him. It wasn’t very effective, because all wrapped up in his sleeping bag, David looked more adorable than anything else. Exer slid into the bag and wrapped his arms around David, pressing a kiss onto his cheek.
“Nope. Invitation rescinded. Get out,” said David, though he made no move to push Exer out or displace his arms.
“C’mon Day, how can I make it up to you?”
“Hmm.” David’s voice pitched down shyly. “Hold me all night?”
Exer smiled and kissed David, properly this time. “Of course, Day. G’night.”
“Goodnight, Exer.”
Exer succumbed to sleep quickly, exhausted by the day, but before he was all the way gone he thought he heard David say. “I love you too.”