Chapter Text
Zuko had had a very, very, very busy 10 years. With his father locked away, he’d been left to clean up the hot mess that was the Fire Nation, not to mention his countless interpersonal relationships that had been caught in the crossfire. Now, hopefully pulled back to a mostly ceremonial position, with an elected council guiding him, in the good books with those important to him, even Azula, as much as that could be said, there were expectations.
He’d survived endless trauma, ended a war, and done his best to repair a falling nation. But what did people want from him? Not a tell-all book, not a tax cut, not a new bank holiday. But a wedding.
The rumor mill in the palace, of course, was working overtime in terms of speculation on his personal life. His lack of a public love life since Mai- and personal one, if he’s honest- only fueled speculation. Speculation that seeped into the whole capital city, and, soon enough, he couldn’t shake hands with a woman under 50 without hearing a week’s worth of gossip about their secret affair.
Zuko was, of course, gay. But that had very little to do with his lack of love life. Well, as little as it did with anything else.
No, mostly, simply put, there were bigger fish to fry. Sure, he’d had fleeting crushes, even a fling with a visiting ambassador here and there, but nothing even close to a relationship.
“I feel like it’s different to us,” Zuko’d remarked to Aang, not long ago, after a long day of politicking had turned into a late-night heart to heart. As close as they got to that, at least.
Aang nodded sagely. “I mean, I’ve always had Katara...” Zuko rolled his eyes, “But! I know what you mean. It’s hard to like, make friends. People don’t talk to me the same, especially.” Aang’s arrow. Zuko’s scar. Everyone else in their little circle could have some semblance of normalcy, at least when meeting people, but Zuko and Aang were marked.
Zuko let out a heavy sigh. “I just wish...” and that trail of thought was dangerous. Zuko thought himself lucky to be alive, lucky to be loved, he did not often wish or want for. The late night, the wine Aang had excitedly poured them, a gift from his travels, it was getting to him. “Nevermind, I forgot what I was going to say. How’s Hakoda? You guys visited last month, right?”
Aang perked up. “We did. And we had... a talk. Me, Hakoda, and Katara. I think I’m gonna do it.”
It. It. Oh, that it. “Finally? Aang, dude, I’m so happy for you!” Zuko stood up and pulled Aang up into a tight hug. It’d taken Zuko a while to get to initiating physical contact, but it was almost easy now.
When they pulled apart, Aang’s eyes were shining. Zuko was sure his were, too.
***
Katara and Aang were engaged no less than a month later, with shockingly little fanfare given Aang’s flare for dramatics. They’d exchanged necklaces, of course, since Airbenders had few engagement traditions, and sent notice to all of their friends and family.
Zuko was elated. Aang and Katara were two of the best people Zuko knew, and he’d sent his congratulations along with a bouquet of roses unique to the Fire Nation- known for their unusually long bloom, and considered good luck.
He was happy for them, period. Any active or lingering feelings on the matter were moot, because he couldn’t change the past, only the future, or whatever his therapist said.
Azula, of course, would be the one to poke at his peace. “While I’m just over the moon for the lovebirds,” she said, nasally, in what Zuko thought of as her annoying voice. “Do you not wanna talk about somebody else’s love life, for once? Yours, maybe?”
They were at one of their bimonthly lunches, which were, in fairness, mostly spent teasing each other- it was the most either of them could handle, most of the time. Azula spent most of her time traveling, and learning whatever she took to first. But their lunches were a constant.
“Do you wanna talk about yours instead, dear sister?”
“No, I don’t, Zuko. Yours is more relevant now, anyways.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Yours is literally always relevant, Azula.”
She stiffened, momentarily, but relaxed. “I brought it up first. Besides, don’t you think it’s time?”
“Time for what? For you to start seeing a therapist again? Because I’ve been meaning to bring it up, but-”
Azula blew a little flame at him, like a pout. “No, smartass. For you to talk about the elephant in the room. Polar bear in the room? Or is it a penguin, I always forget.”
“Is it time? Can we talk about your knives in the room instead, maybe?”
“Shut the fuck up and stop deflecting, Zuko. I’m young and free and interesting, and I will cross that bridge when I get to it. You’re getting older, you know. And so is he.”
Zuko squinted at her. “That’s how time works, Azula.”
“Right,” like he was the stupid one, here. “So he’s the handsome, strapping, kind young man, who’s to say he doesn’t have every lady in those subzero climates throwing himself at him? Maybe his bed is getting a little cold, Zuko. Maybe he’s out there, right now , looking for a handsome, strapping, kind young woman or man to keep him warm.”
She, admittedly, had him cornered. “But what does that have to do with me? My feelings for him have absolutely no bearing on that.”
“I should’ve killed you when I had the motivation,” she said this often, and it was barely funny to either of them. “Don’t you owe it to him? To give him that chance?”
“What would it do for either of us?”
She paused, considering. “Probably a lot more than you’d think.”
“He’s gonna be here in a couple weeks. I’ll think about it, I guess,” he would not, of course, but he would humor her.
///
Sokka was, as usual, a beaming, noisy, mess of emotions. On top, it was all joy, for his sister and one of his closest friends. That was, of course, real. Deep under that, a despondency he rarely dwelt on. It was almost unnamable- almost.
The engagement meant lots and lots and lots of people visiting with their well-wishes for the happy couple. There was only one Katara, and one Aang, and many people. Eventually the eyes turned to Sokka.
Everyone and their mother wanted to know when it would be Sokka’s turn , and they had a daughter, a nephew, a grandson, a cousin- who would be just absolutely perfect for him, and, oh, of course they’d accompanied their mom/aunt/grandpa/cousin on this journey, and, in fact, they were just on their way to lunch, and...
It was that, over and over and over. The more awkward (but free) lunches he went on, the more Katara and their father side eyed him, as he trudged back, bored and very, very, infinitesimally heartbroken.
Sokka could just feel Katara figuring out how to corner him about it. She was always shooting him these horrifically knowing looks, and Sokka very much wanted out of that. Yes, both of them were old enough to be mature and intelligent in discussions about their respective love lifes, and had had them in the past, but Katara’s engagement had Sokka feeling a bit deficient, love-wise.
Luckily, though, Suki rolled into town, a few of the Kyoshi warriors in tow, under the guise of paying their respects to the newly engaged couple (read: party with their friends).
It was during a long night of drinking, smoking, and talking, that Sokka stepped outside for some air, followed closely by Suki.
The two had been on and off again for a few years, but had ultimately ended up in very different places, ending their relationship amicably. They’d fallen into bed more than a few times since then, but more out of comfort than romance. Sokka would always love her, and he was glad they got to be each other’s firsts in many ways- but romance was not really in the cards for them, at this point.
“You good?” she said, settling next to him on the cold ground where he sat.
“Not really, I guess,” he shrugged. “It’s mostly fine. Just, you know. Love is in the air, I guess.”
“Right, Katara mentioned that the engagement got you a lot of attention?”
Sokka sighed, and Suki hugged him into her side. “Yeah. Lots of great, fun, hot, interesting people, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yeah, dude. Nobody really did it for me.”
Suki clicked her tongue. “To your credit, you do have incredible taste. But nobody?”
“I guess I’m just picky,” Sokka smiled weakly, turning his face into her neck.
“You used to be such a romantic,” she said, a fondness in her voice. “Now you’re extraordinarily picky, crying into your hottest ex’s shoulder, at your sister’s engagement party?”
Sokka barked a surprised laugh. “Shut up. You’re like, my only alive ex. Besides,” Sokka nodded up at the night sky. “I’m kinda with both of you right now. Which is almost more pathetic, I guess.”
“I didn’t say pathetic,” she pulled away and swatted at his arm. “You’ve just changed a lot. I’ve changed too. We’re old now.”
“I haven’t changed that much. I just...” he stared at the moon harder, like Yue would have the words ready for him. “The energy. It’s elsewhere.”
She hummed. “Are you like, actually sending that energy? Or just thinking about it super hard.”
“I’ve been trying to make it happen for a long time. I don’t even think about it anymore, really. It’s just there.”
“Do they know, then?”
“I don’t know how he couldn’t. I’m so,” he gestured wildly, nonsensically. “Obvious. Out there. You know?”
“I know, you wear your heart on your sleeve. But some people need it spelled out. Boys are very stupid, Sokka.”
Sokka smiled. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just been on my mind lately. I can’t turn a corner without somebody’s auntie offering their hand in marriage.”
Suki paused, lost in thought for a moment. “Maybe you need to get away for a bit? Just a few weeks, out of town, doing fuck-all? Some space from the lovebirds and your admirers?”
Now that was an idea. Maybe some sun, some good food, some fruity drinks, would help him get his mind off of things. “That’s a great idea, actually!”
“Great!” Suki smiled brightly. “So... how soon is next week for you?”
“Sorry?”
“Sorry, I forgot to mention. I’ll need my trustiest political adviser on my trip to the Fire Nation palace. Me and the girls are gonna hit Ember Island for a week afterwards...”
Fire Nation palace, fuck . Maybe he was out of town? Ember Island was beautiful this time of year. It was hard to say no, at least without raising suspicion from Suki. So Sokka didn’t.
///
Zuko knew Sokka was coming with Suki and the Kyoshi warriors. They came once a year, to advise on various policies on behalf of Kyoshi island, and usually they brought a few additional political advisers, and it’d been Sokka before, because him and Suki were best friends, but every time it made Zuko feel so fucking crazy.
Sokka just got more handsome, for one. Zuko had eyes- he’d seen Hakoda, he knew, theoretically, that Sokka was going to age very well. But it was sweet, smart, funny Sokka, with grays on his temple, and a simultaneously muscular and soft torso, and a faint etching of laugh lines that Zuko knew he contributed to. So it was a lot, in that way.
And Sokka just got more comfortably him over the years. He wasn’t afraid of being fucking heart-stoppingly earnest, silly, and intelligent, all at once. Being in a room with Sokka was stifling in the best way- Zuko could attest, as could many others, like the young man who was currently trying to help Sokka carry his bags up the palace entrance steps.
It didn’t matter, anyways. The bags dropped to the ground, inconsequential, when Sokka saw Zuko leaning against the doorway. Sokka rushed up to the other man, and pulled him into a hug.
“Hi,” Zuko breathed, Sokka’s arms tight around his neck.
“Hey, it’s been a while,” Sokka replied, almost casual, like he wasn’t blanketed to Zuko on the front steps of the Fire Nation palace.
“Yeah, it has. What, 8 months?”
“Yeah,” Sokka replied, muffled into Zuko. “Let’s not do that again.”
Zuko smiled. “Yeah. Do you wanna step inside and put your stuff away and eat, or..?”
“I’m good here, but if you insist,” Sokka said dramatically, pulling away, still beaming. “It is good to see you, man.”
Zuko winced internally a bit . “You too, buddy.”
Sokka gave him one last look, and stepped into the chaos that was the Kyoshi welcome reception. Zuko glanced around, walked halfway down the stairs, and grabbed Sokka’s forgotten bags.
After making sure the luggage was with someone who could take it to Sokka’s quarters, Zuko made his way to the little welcome reception the palace had put on. It was fairly casual, but Zuko had to make an appearance at these sorts of things. And he wanted to, this time, anyways.
To his surprise, Azula was chatting away with a group of people, including Sokka. Azula usually hid from these sorts of things, both because she was generally not well-liked and because she was fairly antisocial and at least mildly abrasive.
But there she was, taking tiny sips of a glass of red wine that Zuko knew she hated. She almost looked reserved, hiding behind her glass. Almost, though- you could still see the glass-cutting confidence that had become characteristic in her eyes.
Somebody stepped next to him, slightly out of his direct sight. He knew who it was, though, without looking. Mai, who’d been his lifelong companion in wallflowerhood. She was watching, too.
Of course, among the crowd, was a Kyoshi warrior with a familiar long, brown braid. Ty Lee firmly ingratiating herself into the Kyoshi warriors had initially driven a wedge between her and Mai- but that was lessening now, with age. The two had been dancing around each other for years, but there was, of course, the question of their shared first love.
“Hey,” Zuko said. “What brings you all the way here?”
She scoffed, but smiled. “You know what brings me here, Zuko.”
“I’ve got a few ideas, yeah.”
“Yeah, I bet you do. How is Azula, by the way?”
Straight to the point, as always. “She’s... well. I don’t know if she’d say this, but I think she’s hoping to settle a bit, soon. She wants to see about getting a teaching license, actually.” Which was mind boggling to Zuko, still, but he wanted it for her if it was what she wanted.
Mai hummed. “Interesting. Well, I’m always around, if she ever wants to talk, I suppose. Ty Lee was thinking about moving a small group of Kyoshi warriors up to the city, actually, for recruitment and education.”
“Huh,” Zuko did some math in his head. “So that’ll be the first time you’ll all be in the same city for more than like, a day, since...”
“Yeah. Fuck, Zuko. I don’t know. I love Ty Lee, but I at least need closure with Azula. We all owe each other that, I think.”
Zuko nodded. “It’s hard, I get it. I hope you guys can get it figured out, for what it’s worth.”
Mai nodded back. “Yeah. Can we stop being weird? Your boy is staring.”
Sokka was, indeed, staring. Like he’d tuned out the conversation happening in front of him, in favor of shooting a dopey grin at Zuko. Zuko, of course, mirrored it back. It was almost compulsive, for Zuko, to attune to Sokka in his presence.
Mai punched his shoulder, and looped their arms together, dragging him forward, out of his brief stupor. Unfortunately, Zuko had hosting to do. Blah.
All night, through little toasts, comically pretentious appetizers, and a nice performance from the local school choir, Sokka kept sending Zuko these warm little smiles. Zuko found himself increasingly flustered under all that attention from the prettiest boy he knew. Maybe Sokka had really, really missed him? Although Sokka was typically pretty affectionate with everyone, so maybe Zuko had just forgotten how that felt.
But the onslaught of affection didn’t just fluster Zuko- it helped him remember something important. Him and Sokka loved each other, no matter what. They were two of each other’s closest friends. They could not be untangled. There was a confidence to be found, there for Zuko- Sokka would not leave him, no matter what.
Finally, the end of the night came, and the party started to break up. The musicians were still playing a few more songs for the stragglers, though. Mai had exited as soon as was appropriate, followed by Ty Lee a very conspicuous 20 minutes- on the dot- later, and Azula, literally 30 seconds after her. Zuko really, really, really hoped that went well.
Zuko was floundering, a bit. He knew that Azula was being brave, and she was his little sister, so he should be brave, too. He owed it to her, to Sokka, and to himself. What was the worst that could happen? A rejection, probably. Which would hurt, of course. It would hurt very badly. But, it didn’t mean their friendship would be over, just awkward, for a bit. Before he could spiral further, and talk himself out of making even a tiny move, he walked up to where Sokka was parked on a balcony.
Reader, it feels redundant to say it again, but Zuko felt the wind knocked out of him at the sight of Sokka, drenched in the bright moon that shone over the Capital. Certainly there was some festival, somewhere, celebrating this moon, for the beauty it had bestowed upon mankind. Of course, though, Sokka looked beautiful in the moonlight- she, like everyone with good sense, was in love with him.
“Hey,” Sokka said, softly.
“Hey,” Zuko replied, a little breathless. “You busy?”
“Nah,” Sokka smiled. “Just, you know. Getting some fresh air.”
“How attached to that are you?”
“Not very.”
“Is your dance card full?” Zuko was absolutely not going to puke.
Sokka’s smile brightened. “Luckily, I saved a spot just for you.”
Oh god . “Shall we, then?” Zuko held out his hand, and gestured to the balcony door, to the emptying ballroom.
Sokka was kind of looking at him like he’d grown a third head, and kind of like he was into the whole third-head-thing. But he followed, allowing himself to be tugged into the room, now occupied by cooks who’d finished dinner service, young people who didn’t feel the night weighing on them, and the Fire Lord and the love of his life, settled firmly on the edge.
The song was distantly familiar to Zuko, so he took the lead. He could only linger a moment on the way his hands were on Sokka, and the way Sokka’s hands were on him, before he forced himself to keep his head up and his eyes respectfully forward.
“You know, I haven’t danced with anyone all night,” Sokka whispered, like he was telling a secret.
“I hadn’t noticed,” Zuko mumbled back. “I’d have asked you sooner.”
“Shut up.”
“No, really, Sokka.”
Sokka visibly blushed, and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. So how’s... Lordship?”
Zuko laughed, startlingly loud. “It’s whatever. Long, boring, but important. Lately...”
Sokka gave him a look of mild concern, and was promptly spun around. Now pulled closer, the two could hardly see each other’s faces. “Lately, what?”
“You know. With Katara and Aang, my sister’s drama, you know.”
Sokka let out a tiny huff. “Yeah, I know. Trust me. I bet you’ve got every eligible suitor in the Fire Nation banging down your door, though.”
Zuko stepped just so, so they were a tiny, tiny bit closer. Now they were right next to each other’s ears. Distantly, Zuko wondered if Sokka could hear his thoughts, somehow. “Yeah, not interested.”
“No?” God, he could feel Sokka’s voice. “Yeah, same. I’ve gone on like, possibly hundreds of failed dates in the past 3 weeks alone. Great for a free lunch, though.”
“I can buy you lunch, Sokka.”
“I can buy myself lunch, thank you very much, but it’s the principle of the thing, Zuko.”
Zuko couldn’t help it, he buried his head in Sokka’s shoulder and laughed. They were basically hugging and kinda swaying, now. Sokka, for his part, seemed a little confused, but was smiling.
///
Sokka, on the very edge of his consciousness, noted that the song had changed to something more upbeat, less ballroom . The dancing quickened around them, people running to their friends, laughing, and yelling. But Zuko kept them firmly planted.
Sokka was, of course, very happy to be planted, but he was mildly concerned. He felt as though he’d missed something remarkably important. He could hear Suki and Katara screaming at him to just fucking do it . Now finally the time- it was the perfect moment, and he’d reached it entirely by accident. He’d kayaked across the sea, and hadn’t even realized he’d hit landfall. Oh god.
Fortunately for Sokka, Zuko seemed to have slightly more presence of mind. He pulled Sokka back out to the balcony, Sokka stumbling along the way, being dragged from where he’d been frozen in Zuko’s arms.
The fresh air did Sokka little good. Of course, Zuko was beautiful here. Zuko, in spite of his general geekiness, was as close to a fairytale prince as anyone could get, in Sokka’s opinion. Of course Zuko looked gorgeous under the stars, on a fucking balcony no less.
Zuko closed the door gently behind them, like he was scared Sokka would startle (he would never). “I have something to say to you.”
“Um, the floor is yours.”
“Okay,” Zuko took a sharp breath in, a big breath out. “I love you.”
Land beneath his feet, now firm footed, Sokka was sure. “Oh. That’s what I was hoping you were building up to.”
“Yeah. I was being kind of obvious. It was on purpose, Sokka. I think everyone knows, now, if they didn’t before.”
Sokka blushed. “What, you go around telling people about me?”
“Yes, Sokka.”
“Oh,” Sokka smiled, and felt himself flush darked. “I tell people about you too, you know.”
Zuko smiled back- one of those smiles that Sokka treasured, the ones where he wasn’t afraid of looking kinda toothy and light. “You do?”
“Yes, stupid. I kinda tell everyone about how in love with you I am, all the time, and I have been for fucking years, Zuko. Of course I love you. I can never feel anything else around you. It’s a little stifling, man!"
Zuko laughed, and closed the distance between them, pulling Sokka in. It was less of a kiss and more of a teeth-clacking, laughing-into-each-other’s-mouths affair at first, but Sokka still felt like the world had shrunk to just them, the air sucked out of the atmosphere and the blue out of the sky.
The laughter left, too, once it became apparent how in need of each other’s attentions they were. Passionate was a word to describe their second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth kisses. Fierce, ardent, eager. But Sokka really felt, at his core, hungry. For whatever he could get.
Breathless, Sokka shoved his face into Zuko’s neck, lightly inhaling. Zuko giggled, high-pitched. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Sokka mumbled into Zuko.
“Wanna get out of here?”
Sokka pulled back so he could make sure Zuko could see him. “This is your palace, Zuko. We can only go so far.”
“Shut up,” Zuko laughed. “You don’t wanna go back to my room, then? To do whatever?”
“Oh, whatever ?”
“Yes, shut up. We can talk, if you want. Or, you know. Whatever.”
Zuko was blushing now. Sokka’s eyes crinkled with a smile. He loved Zuko so much. “Yeah. I’d like that.”