Work Text:
Louis doesn’t like the look of the A&E the moment he steps through the doors to start his shift. The waiting room looks flooded and he realizes right away just how his day is going to play out, and he really hates the look of it. He wishes he’d been put up on the maternity floor today. He knew that not many had the opportunity like him to be able to bounce from emergency care to labour and delivery ward, and though he often spent more time in the maternity ward delivering babies, he’s grateful that he got his credentials for both nursing in emergency medicine and working as a midwife because it gave him more opportunities to help people. And sometimes the skills of one could definitely help the other.
He sighs as he goes to his locker in the off wing of the A&E and puts his rucksack in the locker. The day looked like it was going to be hell. He could sense it already. He glances to his right; Liam chatting with Sophia, scratching his leg through his blue green scrubs. Louis scrunches his nose up. Such a stereotypical nursing colour, that ugly shade of- whatever you wanted to call it. He feels grateful that he knows just who to go to when he wants new scrubs. Today, he’s wearing his Batman scrubs, he’s sure they’ll go over well with any kids coming through those emergency room doors.
He takes a drink of his water bottle and then goes to the main desk of the main operation; the back of the emergency department where all charts and files get looked over by nurses and doctors and categorized by emergency type and severity by secretaries. He passes a non-emergency emergency file and skims it. A little kid fell off a bike and now needs stitches in his thigh where the kickstand punctured his skin. The bleeding had stopped but he still needed the stitches. He’s waiting in B3 to be seen. Louis looks up at Eleanor who is smiling at him from her computer. He waggles the chart at her.
“I saw the look of that waiting room. Looks like today’s going to be a hot one.” El laughs.
“That’s for sure. Good thing Batman is on the job today.” Louis strikes a typical superhero stance and grins like he’s twelve again and definitely not twenty six.
“Alright, well Batman is off to give some little kid stitches in his leg.”
“I’m sure he’ll love it.” El rolls her eyes as she types into her computer more, filing another person into the database. Louis grins at her though she doesn’t see it and then proceeds to go to B3.
When he pulls back the yellow curtain of the room, a little kid no older than seven is laying on his side in a gown, tears filling his eyes and his grip on the pillow is incredibly tight. The mother looks apologetic towards Louis.
“Hello.” She says calmly, running her hand over her leg.
“Hi there. My name is Louis. Your name is Max, isn’t it?” The kids eyes flash to him, widen, and then stares back at the wall. Louis steps into his line of vision, crouching down so he can be at eye level with the kid.
“How’s your leg feeling, Max?” The boy blinks. He eyes Louis’ scrubs; Louis grins.
“Are you Batman?” The boy asks. Louis nods and ruffles the boys hair.
“I am. But you can’t tell anyone, or my identity will be compromised. On my free time, when I’m not saving Gotham and fighting crime I’m here, helping people. Can I help you today?” The boy nods. Louis smiles at him and pulls back the gown covering Max’s leg to reveal a five inch gash on his leg. The bleeding has stopped, but the space remains pink and sore looking. Louis looks back at the boy and smiles.
“I just have to go get my special helping tools, okay?” The boy nods. Louis goes to get local freezing in a needle and a suture kit. He has to think of some sort of ploy to tell the boy. When he returns, the mother is comforting Max and he smiles softly at them.
“Hey Max, I’m back.” Max glances over his shoulder with teary eyes.
“You’re going to give me a needle, aren’t you.” Louis grimaces slightly, but he shows Max the tiny little needle of freezing.
“I’m afraid I do. But it’s not just any sort of medicine, no, this is superhero medicine. It freezes your leg so it won’t hurt, and it helps you grow super strong and helpful. So, it only hurts for a second; less than a pinch even. And then it makes you a superhero who is super helpful.” Louis eyes the mum who is smiling at him. The kid looks at him in wonder.
“Really? Can it really do that?” He asks his mum who nods in assurance. The boy looks back at him. “It only hurts for a second?”
“I promise it’ll be quick.” Louis tells him and the boy nods.
“Okay. Do it.” He says and Louis looks at the mother who is quietly talking to the boy, whispering things to him as Louis injects the freezing and only a whimper is heard from the boy. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move, and Louis quickly adds the remaining needle into the boys thigh.
“Done. Now, I have to stitch your leg back to good as new for you so you’ll be riding your bike again in no time. Okay? You won’t feel it this time, I promise. That superhero stuff is working, right?” The boy nods. Louis touches around the wound and when the boy doesn’t flinch he knows he can start. The stitching takes barely ten minutes, Louis making up some story about how he fought the Joker, and then he sends the boy on his way under the watchful eye of his mother with a fixed up leg, a dose of antibiotics and light pain meds.
“That was ingenious.” Zayn says when Louis passes by a patient who is currently sleeping. Zayn is reading over a chart for him and Louis shrugs.
“I do what I have to do to make them as comfortable as possible.” Zayn nods. He follows Louis out to the main desk. Two charts are in the ‘waiting to be seen’ holder, and Louis and Zayn both stare at each other.
“How bad could they be?” Louis asks and Zayn shrugs.
“I am hoping this one isn’t horrible.” Zayn plucks the one off the top and opens it; He flushes red when he reads the description of the emergency.
“Alright, I’m going to need Liam’s help with this one…” Zayn says softly and Louis rolls his eyes.
“It can’t be that bad.” Zayn gestures out the chart.
‘Patient came in via ambulance with chest pain radiating down arm. Possible heart attack caused by stress due to sex toy lodged(stuck) in anal cavity.’
Louis is in fucking hysterics, Zayn looks green, and Liam is coming over with a cheery disposition until he reads the file then realizes just why Zayn needs Dr. Payne’s help. They have to remove the fucking sex toy. Louis grabs the other chart and reads it. He grins.
“Yours is like something you’d see on one of those Sex Brought Me To The A&E TV shows. Mine’s harmless. Some lad’s fallen off a ladder, hit his head and sprained a wrist. Enjoy your search for the missing butt toy, lads. I’m off to give a guy a hand, get it?” He wiggles his wrist and they groan at him. He heads to trauma room A8 and draws back the curtains. He bites his lip. Oh bloody fuck.
Laying in the hospital bed with his eyes closed is a boy who looks to be mid twenties. He’s bloody gorgeous is the thing. His hair falls in soft wavy curls that sit on his shoulders, his lips are fucking red as an apple and if he didn’t lick his lips so often Louis would think he’s wearing lip stick; and his eyes, oh sweet baby Jesus, his eyes are the most beautiful shade of green Louis’ ever seen. They open up to him and stare at him like he’s some foreign creature from another planet. They stun Louis, who is just standing there, staring at him.
“Am I dead?” The boy asks and- oh fuck off world Louis thinks- because his voice is gravelly and deep and fucking killing Louis. Louis swallows and shakes his head.
“No, you’re in a hospital. Were you unconscious when you came in?” The lad licks his lips and Louis sort of dies. He shakes his head.
“No, my mate brought me in… It’s just you’re really fit. Sorry. It’s just that my mate- Well, I sent him home because he’s kind of an idiot and was hitting on your secretary… I reckon he knows her, but I wasn’t about to let him harass her at work. Me? I was just resting. I figured it would take a while and another girl- a blonde haired girl? She gave me something for my head so it’s making me sleepy; but she said someone was coming to see me about my head and hand. And anyways, I’m Harry.” he gestures out his right arm and then recoils, clutching the swollen arm to his chest in pain. He wheezes out a breath and Louis is rushing to his side to aid him.
“Maybe don’t use that hand, yeah?” Harry nods. Louis brushes back soft curls that fall across his forehead, and Harry stares up at him with wide and soft eyes when Louis does this. Louis tries not to pull away, make it seem like he’s inspecting the giant goose egg on Harry’s forehead.
“You fell off a ladder?” Harry grins.
“How many Harry’s does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Because he falls off the ladder and bashes his head off said ladder he’s standing on before snapping that ladder shut on his hand.” Louis groans.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Harry shakes his head and regrets it, groaning.
“Alright kid, don’t hurt yourself further. Do you always ramble and make puns, or is that out of the ordinary?”
“Heeey, ‘m not a kid. I’m twenty four, thank you very much… and no, I make puns all the time. Any chance I get, if I’m honest. And I suppose I do ramble, but it’s not like I try to, and anyways-“
“Okay.” Louis stops him and Harry just rolls his eyes, fondly. FONDLY. As if someone who’s in pain and quite possibly concussed would roll his eyes fondly at a complete stranger.
“You’re pretty.” Harry says with a giggle, a fucking giggle. Louis smiles at him and rolls his eyes.
“I think you’re concussed.” Louis says and Harry grips his hand with his left hand.
“I may be concussed but I’m coherent enough to see a fit bloke when I know one.”
“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous stop it.” Louis teases and Harry just flutters his pretty eyelashes at him. Louis needs air to breathe.
“Have we done x-rays on that hand to make sure it’s not broken?” Harry nods.
“Just a sprain, the Doctor said so. He said someone was coming to wrap me up and he wants to keep me here for a few hours to make sure my head’s okay. If it is I can go home, if not then I’m stuck here. I reckon it couldn’t be too bad staying here.”
“Too bad for you, my shift ends at 9 tonight.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“How is that too bad for me? You’ll be the attending nurse, no?” Louis grins.
“I could always send Helga in.” Harry grimaces.
“Mean. You wouldn’t really do that to me, would you?” Harry looks up with the sweetest eyes and Louis blushes.
“Of course not. I’ll be right back, I promise. Just let me go get some wraps and some ice for that bump of yours, and I’ll be right here when you open your eyes again. Promise.” Harry smiles at him. Then he lets his eyes flutter shut and he sighs; Louis takes the opportunity to go, he backs out of the room and runs straight to the main desk. He’s practically panting when Zayn and Liam come over to him looking green.
“Louis, remind me to never judge you for having a pink dildo again.” Zayn says and rests his head on his arm on the counter. Liam sways.
“What’s up with you, Lou?”
“The fucking cherub saint in A8, that’s what. He’s practically everything I’ve ever dreamed about and he’s hurt and he’s cute and I kinda want to fuck him into next week right here in this very hospital and that’s not very nurse like of me.” Louis groans and covers his face. Zayn eyes him curiously.
“He’s got curly hair?” Louis nods. “He’s tall?”
“Endlessly tall.” Louis whines.
“He’s got a smile that could light up a universe?” Louis whimpers.
“Don’t tell me, blue eyes?”
“Worse. They’re the prettiest shade of green I’ve ever fucking seen. And he’s punny.”
“Funny?”
“No, he cracks puns and oh my god they’re horrible but Zayn.” He whines.
“Be a nurse, fix him up, and then ask him out.” Louis nods.
“I suppose you’re right… I’ve got to go get wraps and ice.”
“Kinky.” Zayn mutters as Louis walks away.
“You bastard!” He shouts on his way to the medical supply room.
*
“Harry…” Harry can hear his name being called from a distant place. It’s a soft lilting voice, not too deep and not too light and just the right amount of growl. His eyes flutter open again. Oh. The angel is back.
“You really are here.” He says softly with a sigh, earning a smile from the nurse. He’s pretty, is the thing.
He looks like he'd come just above Harry's shoulders, if that. He's a dainty little thing, small wrists and probably ankles though Harry can't see them from where he's laying. His arms look strong. His face though, Christ. Harry thinks he could stare at it all day. His jaw is beautiful, all sharp angles. Small lips curved up into a smile. The brightest blue eyes he's ever seen. Light caramel coloured hair that wisps ever so slightly in a barely done fringe. He's beautiful.
"Promised I would be didn't I?" Harry nods and winces. The man tuts.
"I never caught your name." Harry murmurs. The nurse steps forward and gently cradles Harry's sore hand in his.
"Louis." He responds in the softest way. Harry likes the name. French. Soft. Delicate. Strong at the same time. He tests the name on his tongue while Louis wraps his wrist.
"Press that ice to that bump please." Louis gestures and Harry notices an ice pack in a towel by his right hand. He listens obediently and reaches for it with his left hand.
"How come I never see you here?" Harry asks. Louis pauses wrapping his hand to knit his eyebrows in confusion.
"How often are you here?" Louis fires back with a chuckle and Harry grins.
"More times than you think. I'm kind of a walking talking hazard." Harry admits and Louis laughs, pinning the tensor wrap on Harry's wrist. Harry wiggles his fingers with a grimace.
"Aid- Doctor Grimshaw may request you get a brace for that wrist... As for your head, well that may take some time to heal. Especially if you're concussed." Harry nods.
"You don't work in here often do you?" Harry asks. Louis shakes his head.
"Trained to, obviously. But mostly I'm stationed up on maternity. Labour and delivery or NICU. Sometimes the nursery when they're short handed." Harry grins goofily.
"A jack of all trades." Louis shrugs but he looks proud of his status in the hospital’s staff.
"Do nurses make house calls?" Harry asks curiously and makes Louis laugh.
"No we don't. Is that your way of asking for my number?" Louis teases and Harry wiggles his eyebrows.
"Is it working?"
"Get well soon, Styles. I hope you don't end up back here too soon."
"Don't count on that." Harry teases and slumps back against the pillows as soon as Louis leaves him. He's so super fucked.
*
Harry can’t stop thinking about the nurse. He also can’t stop thinking about his head, because it hurts. And his wrist, but he smiles at it because it was bandaged with care and he knows he’s going to have to rewrap it soon, but it’s comfortable and not hurting him for once and so he’s going to try and leave it go just another day or two. Doctor Grimshaw, or Aiden as Harry had gathered from Louis’ little slip up, had prescribed him elevation to his wrist as much as possible and ice to his head twenty minutes a day as well as rewrapping every day or two. He then said Harry should have a follow up with his doctor in 6 weeks. And he also gave him a dose of pain meds for the next few days, but after that he’d be running off of normal paracetamol.
Harry flicks through the boring shows on his telly with his left hand and an ice pack resting on his forehead. The pain meds ran out the other day, so he’s running off of paracetamol and it’s hardly any good. Part of him just wants to return to the A&E in hopes of seeing Louis there. Harry had been off his rocker when he’d saw him last, had to have Niall confirm he was real before they left. Louis probably thought he was just an oaf and probably forgot him by now. Harry pouts at that. He flicks the telly to a Doctor Who rerun and sticks it on mute. He groans when he moves his head; it’s been killing him for days now without stopping and it’s driving him nuts. He frowns; is it normal for this to happen? Before he even knows what he’s doing, the phone is dialing the main interface of the hospital and gasps when the other line picks up.
“This is an operator speaking…” Harry sighs. He’s in too deep to hang up now.
“Hi, erm… I don’t suppose you could transfer me to a specific nurse working in your hospital, could you?” The woman on the other end stops clicking.
“Sorry, dear. I can transfer you to the floor they work on… do you know what floor they’re on?” Harry frowns. He remembers Louis talking about working in both emergency, and somewhere else. He looks to the screen. Amy Pond is holding baby Melody. Maternity.
“Maternity?” Harry squeaks and the nurse hums.
“Just hold a mo, lovey.” Then he hears three beeps and the phone dials through again. It’s ringing. He’s panicking. He can’t believe he’s doing this. This is stalking, or harassment. Or something of the sort. And what was this for anyways? A stupid headache? He’s about to hang up when the line clears.
“Maternity; Jesy speaking, how may I help you?” A peppy and very heavy female accent answers.
“I’m so sorry I just- Is Louis working on this floor?”
“Louis? We have a couple Louis’ that work on this floor, babe. You’ll have to be more specific. Do you know his last name?” Harry blushes though she can’t see him.
“I’ll be honest, I have no bloody idea what I’m doing. He was working in the A&E almost a week ago. He’s not too tall, a light voice. Erm… He’s got really easy to look at blue eyes and he looks about my age. Oh. Blimey. You can’t see me, so you wouldn’t know; I’m twenty four.” He just sounds like a blathering idiot. The girl, Jesy, she’s laughing at him. “I’m sorry, I can hang up…”
“No don’t do that, I know just the Louis you’re talking about… Just hold on a mo, he’s about to go on lunch break.” Jesy calls someone’s name through a muffled phone, and Harry bites his lip. He could hang up right now, save himself the embarrassment that he’s about to face…
“Who the bloody hell is calling me at work? If this is you again Stanley I swear to fuck-“
“Louis.” Harry blurts. Louis goes silent for three seconds. It’s an awkward rush of air.
“Harry?” Louis breathes out. Harry makes a squeaking noise.
“You remember me.”
“Your voice is pretty memorable, Harry. Why are you calling me? I mean- not that I’m being rude- but I mean, I am at work.” Harry nods though Louis can’t see him. He closes his eyes in shame.
“Bollocks. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, I don't even know why I called I just-“
“It’s okay. Breathe.” Harry listens, breathes with shaky breaths. His head is throbbing. His eyes feel like they're going to pop out of their sockets. He whimpers and moves the ice to the bridge of his nose.
“Is something wrong, Harry? Are you okay?” He sounds genuinely concerned. Harry breathes out a big breath.
“You’re the only nurse I could think of, and I have a medical question but I feel like a right prat for calling you.” Louis chuckles but he hums too. Mixed signals, Harry thinks.
“Ask away, babe. Quickly, if you please. I only have a little while to find something to eat and my tummy’s a bit grumbly.” He says softly, and Harry swallows.
“I could er- bring you something for lunch. To make up for this call.” Harry responds, thought he doesn’t seem too keen on leaving his couch.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think Liam owes me a lunch, so he’s got me covered.” Harry nods.
“Right. If I’ve had a headache, a continuous one that been going on since I left the hospital, or rather after I ran out of the meds that Doctor… Grimshaw? That he gave me, what should I do? I’ve felt like someone’s been smashing rocks on my head for two days now and paracetamol is not being a pal right now.” Not being a pal? You’re a fucking git, Harry. He thinks to himself.
“I’d advise you to come back here to the A&E… It’s not normal for a headache to continuously go like this. Look H, I’ve got to get lunch in me before I have to help do diaper changes in the nursery. But I’ll call down to the attending physician down in the A&E and let them know that you’ll be visiting shortly, you will be coming in won’t you?”
“Yes, if you’re suggesting it.”
“I am. It worries me that you’re still feeling poorly this long. How’s your wrist, by the way?”
“A pain in the… arm.” Louis laughs, like really laughs.
“Alright then. I’m going to go make that call now… You get yourself down there as soon as you can, okay? Whoever’s down there will give me updates on you… Take care, and feel better, babe.” And with all of Harry’s heart being strained through the phone, he’s gone.
Harry flops back on the couch, regretting it. He whines, more about the fluttering feeling in his tummy that won’t go away rather than the incessant head demon pounding a jackhammer to his skull. He pulls himself off the couch and obeys the nurse’s orders.
*
Louis hasn’t heard anything in weeks, it feels like forever. But really it’s only been maybe a month. When he called down to the A&E it was of course a confidential matter, patient privacy and all so even though Aiden knew Louis knew the patient, he couldn't tell him anything. For all Louis knew Harry could be in this very hospital right now. He doubted this too but for some reason he couldn't stop thinking about long and swirly curls and dazzling celadon eyes.
"Louis you're needed in nursery, Cazza had to step out." Jesy pages him.
He makes his way down to the baby nursery where rows upon rows of precious babies slept, cooed and cried. Caroline, the poor lady, had been puked on by Louis' favourite trouble maker, Zoe. Zoe was adorable, with olive skin and the darkest set of curls he’s ever seen, and still the brand new baby's blue eyes. He doesn't doubt that when they turn their real colour they'll be a beautiful green colour.
Zoe lays in her bassinet and coos up at Louis as if she recognizes him. He grins at her and plays with her toes. But then her face goes sour. She's just peed her nappy. He carries her to the designated changing table they never have a chance to use, usually changing nappies at their bassinets while cooing to another crying baby. But all the babies are sleeping, and Zoe was probably Caroline's last feed and change.
"There we are. Good as gold eh love? Now let's get you all cozy for a nap. There's a love." He gently sways, bouncing and rocking just enough to lull the little baby to sleep.
She was one he had helped deliver just a few days ago, and he knew she'd be leaving in a day or two. He loved the babies all the same, but despite what people say, you always have your favourite. His eyes glance up to the full glass window in front of him and is startled to see curly hair and green eyes watching him carefully. He freezes, jolting the baby in his arms who whimpers and eyes him tiredly as if to ask him why he did that. He thinks he was seeing things until he looks up and Harry is still there, smiling at him.
He sets Zoe down in her cot and checks on every baby in the room. Caroline comes in just as he's about to call down to Jesy to have someone take over. Caroline smiles at him.
"Go talk to him, babe. I'm good now I got the sick out of my hair. Can't say the same for my shoes though." He looks down at her black nursing shoes covered in white splotches and trying to hide under blue surgery footies. He thanks her and then steps into the hall where Harry watches the babies sleep in their cots.
"What are you doing here?" Louis asks plainly and Harry smiles at him.
"Not everyone in this hospital is here to see you, Lewis." He teases and Louis shoves his left side, careful of his braced right hand.
"Don't call me that."
"I'm here visiting a friend. She had her baby yesterday. It seems all my friends are having babies lately." He sighs, Louis almost wants to ask if it's a longing sigh. It sure sounds like it.
"Well I delivered six of the babies born yesterday. Tell me, was it baby Noah?" Louis asks and Harry grins.
"So you've met Cara then." Louis laughs.
"Are you kidding? I was her attending nurse. I went through fifteen hours of labour with her, hearing the story of his name and how his father is a prick while she was on the last few pushes and how he was the most beautiful precious thing in the world as she held him for the first time." Harry laughs and his eyes twinkle as Caroline holds up a baby to the window. There is Noah, all swaddled and adorable and wide awake, looking as handsome as ever a baby could be. Harry presses his hand against the glass and Caroline smiles.
"So it wasn't a brain bleed or anything serious then?" Louis asks and Harry bites his lip.
"No. Were you worried?"
"Patient confidentiality got in the way of Aiden giving me an update. You're good though now, right?"
"Yes. Thank you for asking." Louis watches Harry curiously. He has to bite his lip to keep from smiling at him.
"Well I've gotta get back to-"
"Oh. Erm yeah. I totally understand. I'm going to get Cara out of bed, so we'll probably be back to pick up that little guy soon." Harry tells him and Louis nods. He starts to head back into the nursery when Harry grabs his arm.
"Thank you. Again. For worrying about me."
"I don't want to see you in the A&E again mister. You're too pretty to be in a hospital bed." Louis teases and he gets a dimpled grin in return.
"Noted."
*
Louis is working in the emergency room again. So far he has plastered four broken arms and two broken legs, stitched a man's foot where he got glass lodged in it, and had to tell a girl and her mother that she wasn't experiencing kidney stones or dying, she was simply getting her period for the first time. All in all it’s been a crazy day and he just wants to relax. Instead he gets a rush of people carrying in a gangly lad with a bad gash on his very toned leg, and a guy following him in with a gash to the forehead. Lovely.
“Alright, let's set him on the bed right here lads." Louis tells the four men carrying the tall lad. As soon as he's on the bed Louis makes a startling noise. It's Harry. Again.
"Told you. I am a returning customer."
"Hi Harry!" Harry laughs at the person calling him by name. He really is a regular returning customer here.
"Hi Barbara!" He calls to the receptionist.
"What've you done this time?" Louis asks as he and another nurse port Harry into a curtained room. Harry sighs, putting his arm behind his head. His brace is off now. It's been nearly three weeks since the nursery encounter.
"Lawn darts got a little heated. Money was thrown around, and so were darts. Not the real kind of lawn darts, we'd be dead if that were the case. Just normal darts. But Bressie took one to the forehead." Louis grimaces.
"And you?"
"I tripped on a shovel trying to run to get a first aid kit from our bathroom." Harry tells him and Louis groans into his hand.
"How are you the clumsiest person ever?" Louis asks. The gash isn't long but it's deep and there's dirt in it. He's going to have to cut Harry's jeans off at the knee to get at the cut.
"I have to get you out of your pants." Louis says and then freezes. Harry guffaws and gives Louis an impish grin.
"We're playing doctor and patient in real life. This is kinky." Louis whines into his hand.
"I meant I have to cut them off." Harry's grin grows wider.
"Too look at the bloody thing! Jesus!" Harry is full out cackling now. "Your leg you asshole. Jesus!" Never had Louis ever been this flustered.
"Cut away, doctor. I won't bite." Louis groans but takes the scissors and cuts up the leg and around the knee so he's wearing a pant leg and shorts.
"So it's a deep cut. I'll have to clean it out before I can stitch it." Louis tells him and Harry shrugs.
"This is nothing I haven't gone through before."
At the worst possible moment when Louis' drawing out a vial of freezing for Harry's leg, Harry lifts his shirt to reveal a small vein like scar along his rib cage. It's only maybe four inches long and barely a pencil line wide but the beautiful thing about it is the tattoo turning it into a beautiful rose instead of a scar. Louis drops the needle and it sticks him in the foot. Literally. Through his shoe. Into his foot. And somehow the syringe part has been hit, sending the full dose of freezing into his foot. Administering the entire fucking freezing into his fucking foot. Louis immediately falls to his knees, because for one a needle is sticking in his foot and it fucking hurts, and two he can't move his leg nor can he feel it. His heads resting on the bed's mattress as he tries to stand up again. The freezing is spreading up his calf and stops below his knee. The explicit content spewing out of his mouth is nothing compared to the "oh my god Louis are you okay" oozing out of Harry's mouth. And Harry's the patient.
"Bloody fuck that hurt. I can't move my leg." Louis whines and he doesn't even take notice at how close his face is to Harry's junk. In all its boxer covered glory.
"Louis?" Liam says and Louis looks to his right. Liam is standing smugly at the curtain of the room with Zayn at his side.
"Don't even make jokes right now lads please or I may start crying. I cannot move my leg at all and there is still a needle stuck through my fucking vans so please help me stand up so I can go home and die in peace." Liam tuts but the two help Louis off the floor and into the neighbouring bed. They remove the needle and inspect his foot, removing his shoe. Liam asks him to wiggle his toes, and though he can’t feel it, Louis does. Louis complains when Liam puts a blood pressure cuff on him and checks his vitals.
"That looked like a full needle of freezing, Louis. It was only meant to be given as a low dose. You're here for a while now. Payno orders. Enjoy your new bedmate." Louis curses and crosses his arms and sighs when Liam brings him a Tylenol and tells him to let him know if anything changes. And then Liam actually starts working on Harry who is in a right state.
"Louis you're okay right?"
"Yes Harry, I just feel like I'm missing a leg. And maybe my hands feel shaky. But I'm fine." Liam's eyes flash up from where he's injecting a proper needle of freezing to Harry's leg. Louis gives a slight nod and gestures his hands out. Shaking. Like a leaf.
"Can I get a nurse to check vitals again here?" Liam calls as he begins stitching up Harry’s leg. Then the call is said over loudspeaker. Louis rests his head back against the pillow with a sigh. He swallows. Zayn comes over. He takes Louis’ temperature and his blood pressure and then gives Liam a concerned look. Liam eyes him curiously. He finishes up the stitch in Harry’s leg, gets Zayn to bandage it up and then comes over to look at Louis again.
“How much was the dose again?”
“A full vial? I didn’t exactly get the chance to return some of the dose and release the bubbles.” He says softly and looks down at his shaky hands. Liam checks his blood pressure and breathing with the stethoscope around his neck.
“There a reason why you didn’t tell me you’re wheezing?” Liam raises an eyebrow and Louis frowns at him.
“Am not.” he says, sucking in a huge breath. He swallows again and brushes the sweat off his forehead. His body is betraying him. How dare it.
“Zayn, start an IV drip on him. And oxygen. And keep the BP cuff on his arm for routine checks. He’s having a reaction, and I’m not about to risk it.” Liam says and Zayn nods. He goes and collects the things he needs. He first starts by putting the oxygen cannula in Louis’ nose, attaching it to the oxygen tank line. Louis can feel the stale cold air rushing into his nose. He grimaces at Zayn who is looking for veins.
“Louis, would you like me to stay with you? I can be of good company?” Harry asks from where he’s peeking around the curtain and Louis looks up at him. He’s leaning on his good leg. Louis smiles.
“Don’t you have a lawn dart bet to get back to?” He grimaces as Zayn pricks him with the IV needle. Bless him, he gets it on first try and Louis’ left arm goes cold as the flow of IV fluid runs through his vein. Zayn steps out of the little room.
“Nah. I’d much rather be here.” Harry says and pulls up a chair beside his bed. He smiles at Louis genuinely.
“You know, if I didn’t work here and I didn’t know how boring it can get for patients and their parties, I’d think you were being serious.” Louis says and runs a shaky hand through his fringe.
“I am being serious.” Harry says, taking Louis’ hand in his, rubbing his warm thumb against the back of Louis’ cold and shaking hand.
“Well then.” Louis swallows and closes his eyes for a moment.
“Are you okay?” Harry asks, concerned. Louis cracks open one eye to stare at him. He looks frazzled.
“Not exactly the day I planned to have, H. I don’t particularly like feeling like I can’t breathe.” He sucks in a large gulp of air, and Harry tightens his grip on Louis’ hand. Louis doesn’t have the energy to pull his hand away, not that he’d want to. This was nice.
“I’m sorry. It was my fault- I think.”
“Definitely your fault. You and your fit body and your lack of a shirt and your tattoo- totally your fault.” Louis teases and Harry blushes, looking at their hands. Louis’ eyes feel heavy. He glances at his IV, dripping slowly.
“I feel like Zayn laced that with something.” He says softly. Harry shrugs.
“I saw him over there when he was getting the bag of stuff? It looked like he put a needle of something in it.”
“Bastard probably… drugged me.” Louis rolls his tired eyes. He’s starting to see double. He looks at Harry, or rather the Harry’s in the room. His tongue feels heavy.
“Tell Liam I’m seeing double.” He mumbles. It’s slurred, but Harry quickly reaches behind him to find the nurse call button because he obviously knows his way around here. Harry informs a nurse, Louis doesn’t recognize her, to tell Liam that Louis’ seeing double.
“Har- you can go, you don’t have to stay. I think… ‘m fine.” Harry shakes his head.
“I’m staying right here. It’s my fault remember?” Louis smiles. His eyes roll back in his head and then drift shut.
“Louis? Louis?” he hears in the distance, but he physically cannot lift his eyelids. He succumbs to the darkness, with just the image of a green eyed beauty in his head.
*
Harry’s never seen someone have a seizure before. Until now. It wasn’t a major one, but it was still the scariest thing he’s ever witnessed, and that’s topping the car crash he saw happen on the highway on the way home that one Christmas. One minute he was talking to Louis, and then next minute Louis’ grip on his hand was like a vice, and his eyes rolled back, and he started to shake, twitch. Harry panicked, was grateful to see Liam’s face appear, gladly got out of the way as they attended to Louis.
Now he’s sitting in a chair in an admitted patient wing of the hospital, in the room they assigned to Louis. They want him overnight for observation. And Harry could’ve gone home; a normal human being who barely knew this nurse person would’ve with a second thought. But Harry felt like Louis would be scared when he woke up and realized what happened, and what if no one he knew was around when he did come to? Harry knew he hated that feeling every time it happened to him in the ER. So he sits with a throbbing leg and awaits the blue eyed boy’s awakening.
There’s something beautiful about Louis sleeping. His hair is tousled, his eyelids flutter as though he’s dreaming, and his lips twitch at the corners like he’s trying to smile. His chest breathes deep, heavy breaths. Harry wants to think they’d be shallower if it weren't for the oxygen cannula still in his nose. Apart from that, he looks so normal. He is normal. He just had a mishap at work. That’s all.
Louis wakes with a start. His eyes snap open and a giant gush of air hits his nose, and his throat is dry and why the fuck is he in a hospital gown and not his scrubs? Why the bloody fuck is there a oxygen cannula in his nose? Why is a beautiful boy sitting in a chair staring at him. Memories rush at him all at once.
“It’s okay. Sh. Just breathe.” Harry coos, rubbing his hand like he did earlier. Louis swallows and lays back. His entire body feels like he’s been hit by a bus.
“Hi.” Louis says softly, and Harry smiles at him.
“Hi. How’re you feeling?”
“Like an idiot.” Louis mutters and Harry brings his hand up to his mouth, kisses his knuckle. Louis’ heart gives a kick. The fucking heart monitor beeps. Harry grins.
“Bloody fuck.” Louis says, covering his face. Harry just continues to run his thumb across Louis’ knuckles.
“Why’ve I been admitted?” Louis questions. Harry knits his eyebrows.
“You had a seizure.” Louis freezes.
“I did?” Harry nods.
“Well fuck.” He mutters. No wonder he feels like he’s been repeatedly ran over with a car.
“Liam is very cross with himself. Said he should’ve known to give you a- anti-seizure something or other to prevent it. Said that it’s common for seizures to happen with local anesthetic overdoses.” Harry tells him and Louis just stares at his hands. They don't shake anymore. He wiggles his toes. He can feel his leg again.
“They’re just keeping you here overnight, for observation. I thought it might be nice to wake up with someone you know, or kind of know in the room. But I can leave if you want rest-“
“No!” Louis quickly responds, tightening his grip on Harry’s hand. Harry smiles at him. “Please don’t go. I just- Zayn and Liam are working doubles, and I doubt they’ve called my mum.”
“Actually, Liam did. She’s stuck at home with the twins? Apparently they have strep.” Louis nods.
“You know a lot about me and my family for someone who barely knows me.” Harry laughs.
“I just remembered everything so I could tell you as soon as you woke.” Louis smiles back at him.
“I also want to extend an invitation to dinner, for almost killing you with my body and all.”
“Please. It was hardly a near death experience.” Louis rolls his eyes. Harry shrugs.
“The offer still stands. Dinner, my treat. For nearly killing you with my gorgeous body.” Louis laughs.
“You asking me out, Harold?” Harry grins. Dimples. The guy has dimples.
“Of course I am. I am taking advantage of the fact that you can’t walk away from me before I can ask. And I can’t exactly walk away myself. My legs pretty bummed for another few weeks. But then maybe if you say no, I still have a chance at convincing you just how wonderful I really am.” Louis grins at him. Looks down at their hands. Touching. The grin doesn’t fade.
“Oh believe me, there’s no need to do that. You’re on a whole other level of charmer, H. Thanks, for being here.” Harry smiles back at him with the biggest eyes and Louis knows he’s fucked.
“No place I’d rather be, Lou.”
*
Two days later Louis got cleared to leave the hospital. It was Harry who actually picked him up from the hospital so Louis wouldn’t have to take the tube home, and it gave him an excuse to learn where he would pick Louis up for dates. Because he planned to take Louis on as many dates as he possibly could. Louis didn’t invite him in, and Harry didn’t expect him to.
He also didn’t expect Louis to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you before disappearing from the car and into his apartment building. But he definitely enjoyed surprises. He was also delighted to see a folded up note hidden amongst his coins in his cup holder that he used for laundry days and shopping carts at Tesco. When he opened it, it simply had a phone number and signed off with a simple ‘L’. Harry couldn’t contain his grin. He still can’t now nearly three days after dropping Louis off at his flat, as he sits on his couch and runs his fingers over the little paper between his fingers.
Part of him wonders why he hasn’t called him yet, or text him for that matter. Maybe he subconsciously wants to give Louis a few days of rest before he does anything. He isn’t sure, and really he isn’t sure of much these days. His brain seems to turn to mush when it comes to Louis. He’s not sure if that’s a good sign or a very bad one.
Maybe that’s why now that he has Louis’ number, he’s almost afraid to use it. What if Louis doesn’t remember what he said to Harry that night, about actually going on a date? What if he had drugs in him that made him forget? Or what if he remembers, but wishes he hadn’t agreed to it? These were all very illogical reasons, Harry knows this. Louis wouldn’t have given him his number if he didn’t actually want to know Harry. So Harry manned up, tightened his man bun, and dialed the number before he could back out.
“‘lo?” A soft gentle voice answers. Harry bites his lip to refrain from giggling.
“Were you sleeping?” Harry asks softly back, realizing he didn’t say hello back or mention who it was. He hears a sigh on the other end that sounds accompanied with a smile. He hopes.
“Thought you forgot about me, charmer.” Harry laughs.
“Rather I wanted to give you a chance to decide if you really do want to marry me.”
“You got plane tickets to Vegas for our first date? How very dare you, I wanted Paris.” Louis teases.
“Paris is a second date sort of trip. Actually, it’s only a 2 hour train ride away and we totally could do that-” Louis laughs on the other end.
“You do talk some shit on the phone, don’t you?” Harry grins.
“Of course. So where do you want to go on our date? Is it a date? Can it be a date? Or is it just a friend, chummy chummy laddy pal sort of date because I can handle that too and-”
“Harry, it’s a date date. And I suppose somewhere in London, since that’s where we live and all.” Harry can hear his shit eating grin from here.
“London’s quite big.” Harry says and Louis snorts. He fucking snorts on the other end.
“You’re ridiculous.” Harry bites his lip.
“You love it.” He teases. Louis huffs.
“You bet I do. It’s the entire reason why I’ve agreed to go on a date.”
“And because I nearly killed you. With my body.”
“Oi, fuck off.” He doesn’t deny it though, and that makes Harry feel very smug.
“So when would you like to go on this life saving date?” Harry asks and Louis hums on the other end, thinking.
“I got given a week off of work to ‘recover’, like I need to bounce back. I’m fine now, but it’s the bullshitty rules and all. So I’m free all week, if that’s any help.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“Any day in particular you fancy?”
“I quite enjoy a Wednesday, but I don’t think that’s much of a date night.”
“It’s Friday, today.” Harry says, as if hinting at tonight.
“Are you inferring we could totally have a night on the town, on tonight of all nights, Harold?”
“Perhaps I am.” Louis is grinning on the other end. He can sense it.
“Pick me up at seven?”
“I’ll be your knight in shining armour, with my noble steed, my Ford Capri.”
“Is that what that is?” Louis teases and Harry squawks in defense.
“That’s my baby you’re insulting.” Louis just laughs on the other end.
“See you at seven, Styles. I’ll be the one in black.”
“A man in black, I like that.” Louis might’ve been gone by then, but Harry can’t stop grinning at his luck.
*
“Bloody fuck Louis, do something right for once would you!” Louis curses himself in the mirror where he’s rubbing a touch of hair putty between his hands to get it warm.
He doesn’t feel like doing much with his hair, but he wants to do something to make an effort. He is going on a date with a guy who looks like he walked off the page of a magazine after all. So he runs his fingers haphazardly through his hair, giving it a tousle to give him a messy but put together fringe. Zayn likes to call it his ‘hedgehog’ hair, because it’s often paired with a barely shaven face and big glowing blue eyes. Louis wants to kick him when he calls him that.
He’s grown frustrated with himself though, because it took him nearly two hours to get dressed, because all of his favourite things were dirty and he didn’t have the chance to do laundry because he was too lazy to move from the couch this morning, and wasn’t aware that he would be going on a date tonight. But he finally found a soft grey-blue v neck tee shirt among the damage in his room, and a pair of black jeans that hugs his bum nicely, and his light denim jacket for effect. And summers in London were still quite cool at night. Of course his VANS were hidden beneath his couch so he had to dig for them amongst lint balls and god knows what else, and it had messed up his hair so he had to fix it now, with five minutes to seven.
He didn’t think Harry was anything but a gentleman who showed up properly on time, so when his door buzzer goes off at 7:01 he isn’t even surprised. He simply slips his wallet in his pocket, grabs his phone, locks his door and he’s off. When he pushes open the glass door, he’s grinning like a fucking idiot. Harry is a fucking idiot. A fucking sappy idiot.
Leaning against his Ford Capri convertible with the roof down, looking like a fucking Burberry model, Harry is holding a single stem red rose. And Louis is dying. His heart is pounding and he’s grateful that no one can hear it but him. It’s keeping him sane. He bites his lip and steps closer to Harry. He feels like that scene from Fifty Shades, where Ana walks towards Christian and Charlie Tango. And fuck Zayn for ever making him watch that movie. Harry walks to him and talks his hand.
Harry is wearing black jeans and Chelsea boots. His hair is long and wavy, like he actually brushed it out for Louis. But it looks so soft Louis wants to touch it. He’s topped it with a brown wide brimmed fedora that would look ridiculous on anyone else but looks fucking fantastic on him. And to top it all off, he’s wearing a fucking button down silky looking shirt, the same colour as Louis’, and it’s barely fucking buttoned, revealing pecs and abs and fuck him, because Louis can see a tattoo on the middle of Harry’s chest which he suspects is a butterfly. A fucking butterfly on his stomach.
“I thought this date was to repay me for almost killing me with that body.” Harry grins.
“I figure I should get you well acquainted with my body, as I’d much rather walk around shirtless. Can’t have you dying every time you see me, now can we?” Louis blushes. The fucker makes him blush.
“We wouldn’t want that…” Louis says softly. Usually, he’s loud. Like super fucking annoying loud and he’s proud of it. But around Harry, Louis almost feels like he throws a vibe that calms him to the core, like he just wants to sit still and stare at him. This is bad. This is so bad. Oh man.
“This is um… for you.” He holds up the single rose. Louis nearly laughs.
“Is this the Bachelor?” Harry grins and twirls the stem.
“Louis, will you accept this rose?” Louis fucking cackles because of course Harry would know the fucking line to the Bachelor.
“Of course. Thank you.” He takes the rose and hugs Harry like the girls would on the show.
He smells so fucking good. He rests his nose on Harry’s shoulder. He’s not standing on his tippy toes to do this, so fuck off. Harry smells like sunshine. Like clean and crisp air. And apples. He smells sweet and musky and minty, a very heady man smell that overwhelms Louis and makes his knees wobble.
“You’re a hearts and flowers sort of man. I like it.” Louis mumbles and he can feel Harry’s body rumble with laughter. Harry’s hands are resting at the small of Louis’ back. They’re huge, and warm. Louis’ hands fist Harry’s shirt. It’s softer than he imagined. Not as silky, more cotton.
“Good to know.” Harry tells him and then he pulls back, grinning down at Louis like he’s learned a secret. “Shall we go then?”
“Of course.” And being the gentleman that he is, Harry opens Louis’ door for him and shuts it behind him. Louis’ dying.
“So where are we going then? On this life saving date?” Harry flashes his eyelashes over to Louis. They’re big and green and captivating, and they make Louis smile without noticing.
“For a little drive.” Harry tells him, clicks on the radio, and then pulls Louis’ hand into his. Louis’ smile grows bigger. They drive, and the silence is actually comfortable. Louis doesn’t feel the need to question where they’re going until they head towards the exit to the highway and not to downtown where the best restaurants are.
“Um.” he says and Harry smiles.
“It’s a surprise.”
“You’re not taking me to woods to murder me and eat me, are you?” Harry laughs and gives his hand a squeeze.
“No, I promise, it’s a good surprise. And I’m not a cannibal.” Louis eyes him suspiciously.
“You didn’t deny your murdering tendencies.” Harry grins.
“I’ve only ever murdered plants. I’m definitely not a green thumb.”
“Splendid. We’re both plant murderers.” Harry gives Louis’ hand another squeeze before he pulls away to used both hands on the wheel.
They’re driving down the back roads as the sun sets, and it reminds Louis of a Taylor Swift song. Harry stops the car and Louis looks around. He bites his lip. There’s surrounded by fields. Clean cut grassy fields with a single hill that he can see.
“Um, H…? I thought we were doing dinner.” Harry grins. He gets out of the car and reaches into the back seat. And then he reveals a picnic basket- a real fucking wicker picnic basket oh my god- and a red checked plaid blanket.
“We are. We’re eating at Casa de Styles. I hope that’s okay?” Harry bites his lip and eyes Louis curiously. Louis just rolls his eyes.
“You’re ridiculous.” Harry just flashes him a dimple and Louis is gone. There’s no other way to put it, he’s so fucking gone for this kid already. He climbs out of the car, and nudges Harry’s shoulder.
“Race you up the hill!” He shouts, breaking into a run.
Harry squawked in surprise but is close on his heels as they race up the semi steep hill. Louis wins by a millisecond, and is tackled to the ground a second later, landing with a soft thud. He lets out a soft oof and he glares up at Harry who is beaming like the sun shines out of his ass. Harry has grass in his hair, and Louis’ worried he’ll have a grass stain in his jean jacket that he has no idea how to get out (even though being a nurse comes along with learning how to get disgusting things out of his clothes).
“I win.” Louis says indignantly and crosses his arms. Harry scoots closer and wraps his arms around Louis’ middle. Louis doesn’t even shy away. Harry bites his lip to hide his grin. His dimples are on full display and Louis pokes one, making Harry laugh.
“Actually, I think I’ve won a lot more than you.”
“Sap.” Louis teases and pulls away, standing up and brushing off the grass his pants. Harry is setting out the blanket, and then pushes the basket onto the corner. Then he sits cross legged on the blanket and looks up at Louis with big welcoming eyes and a smile that could melt the heart of the coldest man. Louis quickly joins him on the blanket, nudging his shoulder playfully.
“So…”
“Sooooo….” Harry draws it out and then looks at the basket. He smiles to himself as he sets to work at pulling out all the stops.
“Looks like you’ve cooked for an army.” Louis notes as Harry passes him a plate with a lid. He picks at the foil, and Harry grins at him.
“I figured we’d be out here a while so I wanted to have options.”
Louis lifts the lid and is surprised to see his plate is steaming hot. Chicken and pasta and vegetables all smelling of beautiful spices and Harry’s gesturing to Louis asking if he wants sauce- no- home made gravy?
“You’re kidding me.” Louis says but happily takes the offer. Then he hears his favourite sound. The sound of a cork being popped, and wine being poured.
“I thought it’d be a nice little treat.” Harry gives Louis a glass, Louis gives it a sniff.
He hums happily. It’s Merlot. He’s very familiar with it. It’s a sweeter Merlot, smooth to go down and something Louis could drink a whole bottle of, even though he often picks drier wines than this. He wonders what strawberry wine would be like. He thinks Harry would totally drink it. And then he finds himself staring at Harry’s lips, stained a pretty pink shade by the wine. He could imagine tasting strawberry wine on his lips. He shivers, looks away, and sips his wine in larger gulps.
“Do you do this with all your dates?” Louis asks after a sip, and Harry smiles at him as he takes a bite of his chicken.
“No. I’ve never done this with anyone before. Most of the time, dates for me are going to dinner in a restaurant they’re paying for, or meeting them at a club… but this, this is a nice change. I’m just glad you’re open minded… What are dates like for you?”
Louis looks down at his fastly dwindling wine. He doesn’t want Harry to think he’s a wine-o, but he’s definitely a practiced wine drinker. He sets aside his glass and is grateful to see water in the basket. He settles for one of those. Thoughts fill his head about what Harry said, dinner in a restaurant they’re paying for. Am I on a date with a sugar baby? I hope he doesn’t think I’m a sugar daddy. He ignores those thoughts and clears his throat.
“I don’t usually date.” Louis admits. He’s salivating. The chicken is moist and seasoned and cooked perfectly, spicy and almost tastes like the chicken Zayn cooks when he’s doing dinner for the bunch of guys.
“Oh?” Harry says. His cheeks are pink. Louis looks up at him. Harry’s eyes twinkle.
“I don’t usually take the time to date… I just find it easier to do the… non-commitment type relationships.... What with work and all, most of my time is there.” Harry looks down at that. Louis places a hand on his arm and he looks up, a little deflated.
“It’s been a while, Harry. Nearly a year since my last… anything. I’ve been working, and then I just didn’t feel like doing that kind of thing anymore. And yes those kinds of relationships were fun at twenty four and younger, but I’m twenty six now, so I have think about my future. A real future.” Harry nods, his lips curling up into a smile like he understands.
“I did my fair share of one night stands, I’ll be honest. But I just… I guess I’m a hopeless romantic, and I like the idea of a relationship with someone who’s going to be there at night when I get home and someone I can talk to about anything. Someone to cuddle me. Because I love cuddling. I’m a cuddler. And a little spoon. And I like the idea of a future, a real future. With a family and everything. Sorry, this just took a turn for serious.” Harry blushes down at his food. Louis is smiling at him so fucking fondly it’s making him nervous.
“I like it.” Louis says softly, folding his hand over Harry’s to stop him from picking the grass. Harry clears his throat.
“Dessert?” He blurts out. Louis laughs at the outburst, and Harry notices the crinkles by his eyes. Then they open, such a beautiful blue he could practically swim in them. Louis’ beautiful, and Harry still can’t believe his luck. He’s dreaming, he swears.
“I have chocolate covered strawberries-”
“Are you trying to seduce me with the wine and the chocolates, Harold?” Harry blushes and looks up under fanned lashes. He flutters them but there’s nothing innocent about his smile.
“Is it working?”
“Definitely working.” Louis says back enticingly and Harry giggles. Fuck, not manly at all. Louis just beams at him and bites his lip to keep from laughing.
“Cute.” He says and Harry pulls out the little pink box of strawberries he made this afternoon.
“You should know, I don’t put out on the first date though.” Louis tells him and Harry smiles.
“You’re a classy lady, Louis…”
“Tomlinson.” Louis supplies.
“You’re a classy lady, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis puffs his chest out like he’s showing off which makes Harry laugh.
“It just means you’ll have to take me out on a second date soon.” Harry perks up, and Louis flutters his lashes at Harry. Harry bites his lip.
“Want a strawberry?” Harry holds up a strawberry between his fingers. Louis’ eyes glitter. He leans forward and Harry can’t breathe as he watches Louis’ tongue taste the chocolate, watches as Louis sinks his teeth into the berry. And he nearly dies because Louis is keeping eye contact the whole time, grinning like a shit eating idiot.
“You’re making it very hard.” Harry whines, freezes when he realizes what he’s said. Louis is cackling.
“To resist you!” He tries to defend himself but Louis is losing it. “Fuck, I mean to kiss you.” Harry whines but he’s laughing too.
“Let’s cool off a little.” Louis scoots down and sprawls out, resting on his side. Harry mimics him, and starts at Louis. The sun is settling behind them.
“Tell me about you.” Louis says, smiling at Harry. Harry shrugs.
“I’m Harry.” Louis frowns at him, urging him to elaborate.
“I come from Holmes Chapel, I’m studying photography at the local uni here, and I’m really happy. I’ve always wanted to live in a big city. Perhaps that’s because Holmes Chapel is so small... I have a an older sister named Gemma, who lives here in London too. She’s currently pregnant with her first baby, and she and her husband are thrilled. My mum still lives in Holmes Chapel with her husband, my step dad… Erm… I don’t know what else.”
Louis just listens to him. He’s decided he could listen for hours, just hearing Harry babble on about the little things. He listens to the way Harry is excited about London. He listens to the lilt, the drawl, the catch in his throat when he mentions the baby. He tries to imagine Harry as a kid in a little town. But then he starts picturing Harry frolicing through the streets singing Bonjour! like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, and he realizes that Harry’s stopped talking. Harry’s attention is directed on him, and he realizes Harry’s waiting for him to take his turn.
So he tells Harry about himself. He’s twenty six, from Doncaster, and moved to London after graduating from Brighton University to pursue his career in nursing, and then got the credentials for midwifery. He talks about how his mum (pre second set of twins) was a midwife, and how he always loved having tots to look after in the house. He talks of his six siblings, Lottie, who’s now 20 and away studying abroad; Felicite aka Fizzy who’s 19 and going through her partying phase, the twins Daisy and Phoebe who are blooming into teenage years, and the young twins Ernest and Doris who’re causing a bunch of trouble at home. He talks about many things, and Harry just stares on in awe, and almost a look of admiration. He talks and talks, and he’s sure he’s a rambling idiot but Harry seems so genuinely intrigues that he can’t stop.
But then Louis’ voice slowly trails down to but a whisper when Harry’s hand starts lazily trailing his finger up and down Louis’ bare arm(he took off his jacket a while ago). They’re erupting goosebumps in their wake, and Louis watches his hand before looking up to Harry’s face. He bites his lip. Harry moves closer. Ever so slightly. Louis can feel the warmth his body is radiating, and notices how cold he actually feels. It wouldn’t be weird to cuddle up to Harry to get warm right? His knees knock against Harry’s where their legs tangle. Louis is watching Harry intently. Harry smiles at him. Their foreheads touch. Noses brush. Louis can smell the sweet wine on Harry’s breath, and can see the pink stain of his lips. He wants to bite them.
“I’m going to kiss you.” Harry breathes, meeting his eyes. Louis smiles.
“I’m going to kiss you back.”
It’s surprising how gently Harry kisses him. Louis didn’t expect for him to take it slow, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Harry’s lips are plush and soft and indeed taste like the wine that stained them a beautiful shade of pink. Harry’s hand is cupping his cheek, and he’s grateful that their eyes are closed because he’s blushing like a sinner in church. Their bodies press together, not for any other reason than the fact that every inch between them feels wrong if they’re not together completely like this. Louis’ brain is making no sense. But kissing Harry is great. It’s wonderful. It’s every possible positive adjective he can think of. Which is none at the moment. His brain is blank. He absolutely loves it.
He’s not surprised though, when things start to change. The air around them is warm. Harry’s tongue is teasing Louis’, and Louis is shaking for no reason except the fact that Harry is kissing him and it’s a bit cold and they’re making out on a hill on the side of a highway and he doesn’t give two flying fucks about it. The sky is growing darker, and Louis thinks they’ll be out here long after it’s dark. He could spend an eternity kissing Harry. It’s simple, and effortless, and really fucking nice. He bites Harry’s lip and is surprised to hear a muffled groan escape Harry’s mouth. He’s smiling, the asshat.
“How is it possible that I want you closer?” Harry mumbles against his lips, drawing kisses down his chin and softening them down Louis’ neck, making him shiver and smile and bite his lip and- fuck.
“Get over here then.” Louis whispers as Harry begins to suck a lovebite to his collarbone.
His hands do not fly to Harry’s hair and fist into his curls as if it could ground him. They do not. Harry wastes no time in doing as Louis told him, climbing up on his gangly knees and swinging his leg over Louis’ hips so he’s on top of him and staring down at him with kiss swollen lips, hair gone crazy after being touched, hat discarded somewhere. It just makes Louis pull him down closer into a kiss.
He’s sure Harry’s face is being scratched by his scruff. He should’ve shaved. But right now kissing him is too nice to care and he doesn’t seem to mind. Harry’s hands tickle, tracing his sides up and down over his shirt until they wiggle under the fabric, tracing up and down his ribs, scratching on the way down just a little. Louis makes a soft noise. Harry makes a noise back. Louis starts to unbutton Harry’s shirt so he can touch Harry too. It’s not like he has much work. And when his hands find the scar, the beautiful rose tattoo on Harry’s side, Harry throws his head back and makes a glorious noise. Louis has to flip them. He has to.
Harry goes under him pliantly, staring up with the biggest eyes and a cute little smile on his face like he’s still not believing it’s all real. Louis wants to kiss him everywhere. But he doesn’t put out on the first date, so kissing his toned torso will have to do for tonight. He doesn’t doubt his opportunities in the future to kiss Harry from head to toe and then some. So he kisses Harry’s lips, his cheek, chin, slowly down his neck, causing Harry’s breath to shake and his hips to tremble. Louis can tell that they’re both excited. He simply matches the lovebite Harry gave him on Harry’s collarbone right above a tattoo of a language Louis can’t read. And then he trails further down. He pauses.
“You have four nipples.” He points out. His voice is fucked. Harry swallows hard.
“Yes?” Louis touches each one carefully. He has to pin Harry’s hands above his head to get him to stop grappling for his hands. He’s curious about a lot of things. The way Harry whimpers but goes pliant as he pins him with one hand taking down both of Harry’s, even though he knows Harry could totally overthrow his power in a heartbeat. He’s curious about the smaller two nipples particularly, eyes glowing at Harry with the promise of later.
He continues down Harry’s chest, and sucks a lovebite into Harry’s hips, both sides, where two laurel tattoos line the ‘v’ line of a well defined chest. Harry is shivering under him. Louis comes back up to kiss his mouth, kissing until they’re breathless and Louis has to rest his forehead against Harry’s to catch it.
“Where have you been?” Louis whispers breathlessly against Harry’s lips. Harry stares up at him like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.
“Waiting.” He responds, voice soft but all Louis can do is groan. He rolls off of Harry who is laughing like a little kid. He knows what he’s done.
“Noooo. Why. Why did you have to do this to me? Why did you have to Fifty Shades me?” He glares at Harry so fondly Harry releases a giggle and pulls him closer.
“You love it.” And then he kisses him again. And Louis’ doesn’t even care. He really does love it. And he realizes he’s so fucking gone, there’s no going back now. As if he’d ever want to.
*
It’s been a long day. Louis’ delivered so many babies he’s lost count, and he hasn’t sat down for a break since this morning before he started because every time he’s about to go for lunch, another baby’s on it’s way and they need him. He hated days where they were understaffed, he just wants to go eat lunch and get off his feet. When he’s finally free it’s only another four hours before he’s about to get off work. He took the early shift this week, gave Cazza his 8-8’s this week and took the 5-5 shift because it’s not like he had a choice. She drew up the schedules most weeks, unless Mary did it; and she practically begged him blue to switch with her so she could have a few extra hours of sleep this week. He blamed it on her two kids at home, and so he just agreed to do it for the week to get her off his case.
He feels so bad though because at the end of the day he just wants to go home and sleep all night, and that means dates with Harry are practically non existent. He shouldn’t feel so bad though, because Harry’s had finals all this week anyways. He smiles on his way to the lunch room. Harry.
Things with Harry were wonderful. They’d been going on casual dates now for a little over two months, and to his surprise they actually hadn’t gotten around to doing anything other than go on dates, kiss a lot, and then return home because he had to work the next morning. Or Harry has a early morning class. Or something. And it was physically killing him because all he wanted to do with Harry was get him naked in a bed and inspect every inch of his body. And though the time together has been amazing and didn’t even need the sexual stuff, both Harry and Louis were sexual people. There wasn’t a doubt in Louis’ mind that his hand had seen more action in the last three months of knowing Harry than the year before without doing much other than working.
Today was his last 5-5 shift. It was reassuring. What’s also reassuring is the fact that Harry’s sitting at the table in the lunch room with two containers of takeaway set in front of him. Louis nearly tackles him and hugs him and peppers his face with kisses.
“I thought I was seeing you tonight, mister.” Louis whispers softly into his ear as they hug. Harry’s hands scratch at Louis’ scrubs.
“You’re going to be tired later. I wanted to see you sprightly before I see you later. Plus, Liam ate your lunch. He said you owed him for something, and he asked me to get you food so you’re even. I don’t know how it makes it even, but I’m not passing up the chance to see you.” Louis blushes.
“Will you stay? Or do you have to go?” Harry looks at the clock.
“I can stay.” He smiles. The two eat chinese takeaway quickly, and though it feels all too soon, Harry has to leave and Louis’ being called to the nursery to relieve Mary for lunch.
“Do good in school babe, and I’ll see you at my place at 7, yeah?”
“Of course.” Harry draws him into a hug, and kisses him softly.
He’s gone before Louis can open his eyes. Louis might be dying. He’s so fucking gone for him it’s ridiculous. If he thought he was gone for him on their first date, he was sadly mistaken. Louis couldn’t imagine a day going by without talking to Harry, and that’s scary because just over four months ago he didn’t even know this wonderful amazing perfect person existed.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur of nappy changes, pregnant ladies screaming, and the knowledge that Harry is going to be in his house tonight. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but tonight is the first night they’ll be spending the night together, if you could believe that. Louis’ sure that most people would be shocked that they haven’t slept together, or that they haven’t even spent a night together in two months. But now? Now they have three full nights together. And they’re going to take advantage of that in every way possible, he hopes.
When he gets home the first thing he does is takes a nice long hot shower. It releases the tension in his muscles and wakes him up which is good. He’d hate to fall asleep on Harry. That would be shitty. Then he gets cooking. Literally.
Harry is so excited. He’s been anxiously awaiting the end of finals, and he just submitted his last assignment. If all goes well, he’ll be graduating next month. The thought made him giddy. He runs to Niall’s classroom as soon as he’s finished handing it in, and waits for Niall to finish his music final. One of the many. And as soon as Niall’s done and he hugs the living shit out of Harry, Harry tells him he’s going to Louis’ tonight, and the next and the next. And jokingly Niall chucks a condom at him. Where he got it from Harry will never know.
“Just be safe, yeah?”
“As if I’m not any other time?” Harry replies and Niall flips him off.
“Have fun!”
Harry drives home with a excited knot in his stomach. He then grabs a tote bag Gemma left at his house, and packs three days worth of clothes. He also packs a brush, hair ties, and condoms. Lots of condoms. And lube. And maybe a friend that helped him out when sexy times were few and far between. Because he wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen, but if it was anything like he wanted it to be, oh man it’d be a long few days. He relished in the thought of it.
At ten minutes to seven, Harry leaves his flat and sets off towards Louis’ place. He’s feeling oddly nervous, even though he shouldn’t. It’s Louis, and they’re kinda sorta maybe exclusively dating. Which is pretty exciting.
When he pulls into Louis’ building parking lot, the knot in his stomach turns to a fucking braid of excitement as long as Rapunzel’s hair. He finds a parking spot in visitors parking, and then he goes to the main entrance. He dials Louis’ buzzer, and is pleased when it automatically opens for him without asking who it is. He rides the lift up to the seventh floor of ten, and then knocks on Louis’ door. His heart skips a beat. The door swings open and Harry’s pulled inside into a familiar hug and a warm kiss. It leads him to drop his bag. He cringes.
“Oops.” Louis chuckles and kisses him.
“Hi.” He mumbles against his lips. Harry sighs into the embrace. He’s missed this and it’s barely been hours. That can’t be healthy. He kicks something trying to step closer to Louis, and cringes again. He knows what’s hitting his foot. What is now poking Louis’ bare foot. Which has now caught Louis’ attention.
“You brought a friend?” Louis says with a light tone, grinning as Harry picks up the vibrator. The bright pink vibrator. Harry has a bright pink vibrator. Why is Louis not surprised.
“I was preparing.”
“For battle? ‘s quite the sword.” Louis teases and takes the vibrator from him, looking it over. It’s cute, is the thing. And the way Harry’s blushing, it’s so fucking cute it’s ridiculous.
“Smells good in here.” Louis blanks.
“Oh! Right, I’m not much of a cook… but I’ve tried…” Louis hands the toy back to Harry and then makes his way into the kitchen. Harry shoves it back in his bag with a blush to his cheeks and follows into the living room. He perches on one of the breakfast bar stools. He watches Louis pulls things from the oven, and smiles when he cautiously plates it. Then he ushers Harry over to the dining room table, where he presents his work.
“It’s chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham… with a side of homemade mash.”
“Did you swallow a Martha Stewart cookbook?” Harry teases lightly, but Louis smiles at him.
“No, I just wanted to actually try to cook something… usually I’m a simple man of simple tastes.”
“So takeaway?” Harry teases but Louis just nods proudly.
“Don’t worry darling, I won’t let you starve anymore.” Harry says as Louis sits down beside him. Louis blushes and takes his hand, and his wine glass in the other hand. They’re drinking Merlot again. It’s nice. And the food is really good.
“To a whole weekend to us. Fuck everyone else. This is our weekend.” Louis says, raising his glass. Harry clinks against his glass before sipping his wine.
“Ours.” Harry murmurs. They talk over dinner, about Louis’ shifts and Harry’s finals, and Louis feels like a proud little mother goose watching her baby swim for the first time when he sees the excitement in Harry’s eyes as he talks about graduating. Louis remembers the feeling well.
He’s surprised that he’s not climbing Harry like a tree. He doesn’t feel the need to rush. So when they curl up on his couch and watch shitty reality TV and judge everyone’s attitudes and outfits, it feels so fucking right it’s scary. Louis yawns and stretches his arms and grunts when his back twinges. Harry tenses and looks up from where he’s laying his head in Louis’ lap. Louis may or may not be running his fingers through delicate curls.
“You okay?” He asks. His lips are that pretty pink colour again and they make Louis want to kiss him.
“Yeah babe, ‘m fine.” But then it spasms in his lower back again. He knits his eyebrows and Harry sits up and tilts his chin up.
“Back?” Louis nods.
Harry looks at the clock. It’s past midnight. He clicks off the TV and pulls Louis up, drawing him into his room. Harry acts like he knows what he’s doing, but really he’s shitting his pants. He looks at Louis who opens his bedroom door and collapses on his bed with an oof. Harry sets his bag down on the floor and he climbs onto the bed with Louis. He slowly peels Louis’ shirt off his body, and then Louis shimmies out of his jeans. He goes to move his boxers but Harry shakes his head.
“Not tonight. We’ve got all weekend for that. Tonight it’s about being cozy, and getting comfy. So tell me where you keep your lotion, massage or just normal.”
Louis points to his nightstand with a sigh and Harry grabs the bottle of lotion he finds. He gets Louis to flip over onto his stomach. Louis wraps his arms around his pillow, his face turned to the side so he can still see Harry behind him. He looks contented. Harry’s tempted to take a photo of him. But instead he rubs cream between his hands, and then begins to rub Louis’ back. He starts at his shoulder, rubbing his thumbs into the blades and smiling as Louis releases all these contented sighs and relaxed noises. He takes his time. At one point he thinks Louis’ asleep, but then he hits the lower back and he hears a slight whimper. He continues rubbing intense circles to his back until he feels Louis’ tension release and a giant sigh gets released with it. He can see Louis’ body physically deflate and relax.
“Was that where it was bothering you?” Louis nods into his pillow. Harry continues to rub until the creams dried, and then he pulls his jeans off, but stays in his tee shirt and boxers. Louis turns over and bites his lip when he looks at him.
“You’re something else, you are.” Louis says and cuddles into Harry, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry just holds him tighter.
“Feel better?”
Louis just kisses him as a response. Harry happily obliges and kisses back. They kiss until they become too lazy to kiss, instead just pressing their foreheads together. Louis’ fingers trail and draw little patterns on Harry’s hip. Harry’s hands trace patterns to Louis’ shoulder. And this is how they fall asleep, and how they’ll wake in the morning.Entwined in each other and happy.
*
Harry is warm, and he’s cozy, and he’s being woken up by lightly ghosting fingers drawing circles on his back; and a softly cooing voice calling his name.
“Harry… H. Wake up babe.” He can feel kisses being peppered to his forehead, can feel nails lightly running along his skin, and his eyes flutter open to Louis’ beautiful face. It makes him smile and burrow into Louis’ chest. He feels like he’s floating with happiness.
“It’s the weekend.” Harry says softly. Louis grins.
“It is. And we’ve got three days to ourselves.” Louis points out. Harry sighs contently and doesn’t complain when Louis pulls away from him and kneels between his bent legs. He bites his lip and watches as Louis draws his eyes up and down his barely covered body. The sheet pools behind Louis and that leaves them both in their boxers.
“When did I take my shirt off?” Harry asks. Louis shrugs.
“You got warm last night. I guess you threw it off then?”
“You’re a really good furnace.” Harry says and Louis laughs, leaning up and placing his hands on either side of Harry’s head, leaning in to peck his forehead, his nose, and finally kiss him. Harry whines.
“Morning breath…” Harry says and Louis scoffs.
“Do you think I care about morning breath, H? I plan to put my mouth to other uses soon, and the last thing I’ll worry about is morning breath.” Harry lets out a gasp and a small whimper to keep himself quiet.
“I want to take my time. I want to kiss you. All over.” Louis kisses his neck and Harry tilts his head to let him have any access he wants. He can feel himself thickening in his boxers, can feel Louis’ thigh brushing him and making him shiver.
“I want you. Over and over again. If you’ll let me. Can I have you?” Louis asks so softly, and for some reason it brought tears to Harry’s eyes because it sounds so genuine, so honest and raw and in more ways than one. Harry threw his arms around Louis’ neck.
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” He breathes over and over in whispers. Louis kisses him firmly.
“So tell me…” He rests back on his feet, kneeling before Harry and staring at him like he’d won the best prize. “What do these mean?” Harry shivers as Louis’ fingers caress the laurel tattoos on his hips.
“They’re pretty.” He says softly.
“Do you get all your tattoos for that reason?” Harry shakes his head, and he whimpers when Louis kisses him on the leaves.
“Not all of them.” Harry tells him but his words trail off.
Louis’ hands move up Harry’s bare chest to his nipples, and he quirks an eyebrow at Harry as he takes them between his thumbs and fingers and rubs. Harry whines out loud, kicks his legs out and grips the pillow above his head. He’s smiling, god damn it. He’s shivering, ripples and waves of arousal are hitting him, and maybe he should’ve warned Louis that he was like this. He liked this. He liked to play. Liked to be played with.
Louis leans up to kiss Harry briefly before he moves his fingers to the lower, smaller, more sensitive nipples, causing Harry to gasp and bite Louis’ lip and grapple for purchase on his pillow.
“Oh god.” he groans out loud, throwing his head back with his eyes closed.
He moves his hands down to his sides, resting and Louis kisses his neck gently, nipping and sucking his way down to Harry’s right nipple. Harry makes a squealing sound, it makes Louis laugh as he sucks in, nipping. Harry lets out a stream of garbled nonsense and his brings his hand up to Louis’ face, pulling him off his puckered nipple. He’s panting, and smiling at Louis, and Louis’ looking at him like he wants to eat him. He begins to go to the left nipple to repeat the process, and Harry can’t stand it anymore, he trails his hand down to touch himself. But he’s caught midway, and Louis bats his hand away, telling him to keep it away by pressing it to the bed. He nips at Harry again before bringing up his hand to Harry’s neck. He gently grips Harry’s chin, and makes eye contact.
“You okay?” Louis asks a little breathless. Harry nods and bites his lip. Louis pulls his bottom lip from between his teeth. “You like this, don’t do?” Louis tightens his grip and gets a gasp and groan and Harry pushing up into his hand. It gives him a heavy swoop of arousal and his eyes burn into Harry’s big green eyes.
“Oh baby, you really like it.” Louis says in awe and he can feel Harry shaking under him. Harry closes his eyes. Louis kisses him. He kisses him like he’s trying to convey every little emotion he’s feeling but cant say out loud. Harry’s hands come up to cup Louis’ cheeks.
“Please.” Harry says with biggest most pleading eyes.
Louis smiles at him. He leans back, and runs his hands down Harry’s sides. Harry lifts up his hips, inviting him. His fingers touch the laurels, and then they curl under the elastic of Harry’s boxers. Harry makes the softest noise. Louis finally pulls the boxers down. He bites his lip. Harry is beautiful. He’s not even shy about laying starkers on Louis’ bed, flushed and so fucking hard. He’s not even shy about Louis staring at him. He’s long. He’s long and thick and has a singular vein running the underside of his cock, and he’s very wet. Louis touches him, listens to the whine as he trails his finger around Harry’s cock, and then brings the finger to his mouth with a smirk.
“Oh god. I need you.” Harry says, his voice gravelly.
Louis closes his eyes. He’s sweeter than he expected him to taste. Louis taps Harry’s hip gently, but Harry doesn’t get the memo. So Louis takes matters into his own hands and flips the boy over before he can even blink. Harry squeals and laughs at the movement, and it makes Louis smile like an idiot. But then Harry groans because his cock is pressed right against the bedsheets.
“Are you going to be good?” Louis asks and Harry cries into the pillow, nodding. Louis’ finger trails up and down Harry’s left bum cheek, teasing.
“Yes, yes I promise.” Harry pants into the pillow. Louis smiles. He cracks his knuckles and it makes Harry laugh. He likes that this is a fun thing for them, and not just driven towards one thing and one thing only.
Louis thinks Harry’s probably expecting him to reach for the lube that’s sat on the nightstand. He doubts he’s expecting Louis to pull his cheeks apart to reveal him, to press a dry and warm knuckle to his hole, teasing. Harry whines and presses back. Louis gives an extra push with his finger. Harry grunts.
“Be good, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Harry sighs. Louis grins. This is going better than he could’ve ever imagined.
Harry is going to die. He’s going to combust. Louis is playing, Harry doesn’t even have to explain- it’s like he knows. And he’s loving it just as much as Harry is. And that’s really fucking amazing that they fit this well together. He’s waiting for Louis to reach for the lube on the nightstand, but he doesn’t instead Harry is shocked when Louis pulls his cheeks apart, and Harry feels something wet against him. He cries out. It’s Louis’ tongue.
“Oh my god.” Harry says and Louis laughs, humming into the soft, sensitive skin. He’s wiggling his way in, teasing around his rim and giving butterfly flickers to him. He’s rubbing his face against Harry’s cheeks, leaving tiny little scratches from his scruff. Harry loves it.
“Oh.” Harry sighs when he’s finally doing something, pressing in just the slightest and swirling.
Harry wiggles his bum, and is delighted and very surprised to feel the sharp slap of Louis’ hand. He jolts forward and groans, immediately fisting his cock. It wouldn’t take him long to cum from this. But Louis has other plans. He ceases his current task to pull away and grab Harry’s wrists, pulling them into one hand and pinning them to the small of his back. Harry’s trapped. He’s pinned. He’s loving every fucking minute of it.
“Please.” He cries out, and Louis then continues, one handed, to prod and poke with his tongue. Louis presses his, his nose now hidden as he licks Harry. He’s not holding back, very familiar with the task of rimming, and Harry gets a jolt of precum on his stomach from thinking about returning the favour.
“Let me cum.” Harry pleads. Louis spanks him again, earning a cry. Harry’s eyes are tearing. It feels so good to struggle against Louis’ hand holding him still, keeping him in place. It feels right. He couldn’t think of any other time while playing with someone where it felt like he was going to die at any moment because he felt like he was going to explode, and doing that would be bad.
“I thought you were going to be good.” Louis spanks him again and again. He can feel the pink blooming on his bum and he loves the idea that it’s there. Harry nods.
“I do. I am. I- Thank you. Please.” He adds in. Louis hums, gives him a final lick, a final spank, and then he pulls away. Harry can’t see him, doesn’t think he’d be able to meet his eyes if he could, but then he feels Louis moving, still not releasing his arms. He struggles, and Louis presses forward. He’s pressing his boxer clad cock against Harry’s bum, and Harry whines and writhes under him. Louis gives a thrust. Harry sighs.
“Feel that? Can you feel how you’re making me react? You’re beautiful, H. Perfect. Thank you.” Louis says, and then he gives Harry another quick nudge before he releases his hands and draws Harry into his arms. Harry might be crying, but he’s not unhappy. If anything, he’s happier than he’s been in forever. And he feels like he should tell Louis this, but Louis seems to understand. Caresses his hair and kisses his forehead and cheek and lips and just smiles so fondly at him.
“You okay?” Louis asks again and Harry just looks at him.
“Green.” He says softly.
“Good to know, babe.” Louis tells him and then gets Harry onto his back. He smiles at him because - god - he’s never seen someone quite so beautiful. Harry’s long, endlessly long, and his hair is everywhere. And he’s sheen with a layer of sweat that Louis would probably taste when he kissed him, but his eyes are wild and bright and his lips are obscene and Louis just wants to do so much with him, to him.
“Hey H?” Harry looks down at him with glossy eyes and a smile.
“You can cum now… if you want… but I think holding out until the last second might feel a lot better.” Harry nods, and Louis kisses down his chest.
Over the ridiculous butterfly tattoo on his stomach, across the laurels, right on his waist line, and then he draws his hands down to the soft skin just beneath Harry’s balls. He presses there softly, hears Harry gasp; smiles at the way he’s making all these little reactions real. Then he presses featherlight kisses up Harry’s length, starting at the base and working his way up. He relishes in the way each kiss sparks a slight jolt of Harry’s torso, and small breaths. He lays his tongue flat across the top, pulls back and closes his mouth. He can taste him on his tongue again. He hums and then repeats the process. Harry is making these tiny noises, soft ooh’s, oh’s, and ah’s. They’re cute, added with the jolts and the constant shake of his thighs, and Louis relishes in the sighs he receives when he sucks a giant lovebite to Harry’s left thigh, and then the right.
He may press into them with his thumbs. He might earn a loud groan from that. He might have a shit eating grin on his face as he finally takes Harry into his mouth, just the tip, and sucks. He trails the rest with his hands, giving quick strokes that make Harry’s hips twitch like they’re bucking to the beat. It makes Louis laugh around him as he sinks lower. He finally sets a pace, one that he takes himself deeper after every few bobs, and his eyes flit up to Harry as he does it. Harry looks like he’s about to burst out laughing. Louis knows it doesn’t tickle, but Harry’s hand is fisted in his own hair, curls loosened by sweat; and the other is pressed over his mouth to keep from making noise. Louis reaches up and takes the hand away, and holds it as he continues to suck him off.
“Louis-” Harry says hysterically, and Louis pulls off of him, still stroking with his hand though. Harry is grinning like he’s winning millions of dollars. Louis grins up at him.
“Yes?” He flicks his wrists on the upstrokes, causing Harry to actually laugh and gasp each time it happens because he literally cannot control his body anymore.
“Thank yo- oh god.” Louis takes him back down again, sucking in his cheeks and trying to go as far as he can without choking. His gag reflex clicks in when he’s nearly there, and it makes Harry whimper. He swallows, and presses on until his nose is pressed into Harry’s pubic bone. Harry gasps, he cries out, grips Louis’ hand so tightly. He groans, and he cums just like that. His body spasms, like he’s curling in on himself, and he couldn’t stop if he tried. Louis swallows like a champ, slowly pulling off and wiping the spit off his cheeks. He snuggles Harry until the aftershocks, and their aftershocks die down, and Harry slowly opens his eyes.
“Fuck me.” he croaks, and it makes Louis laugh.
“You bounce back quick.”
“I’m still young. Though I think I came about ten times more than usual.”
“It’s okay, babe. If you get there again, you do. It won’t bruise my ego that I sucked you off so well you couldn’t go again.” He teases. He makes fast though. Harry seems far too impatient to have Louis in him to wait around with finger foreplay. They’d done enough of the playing. He was already part way there from Louis’ previous activities, so it was hardly any time before Louis was three fingers deep and Harry’s writhing for more. He’s insatiable.
“Louis, please.” He gasps at how his voice rasps, but Louis just curls his fingers and nails his prostate with a mighty jab that leaves him gasping for air and pleading him to fuck him.
“Please.” He whines. Louis rolls the condom on, slicks himself up with lube, and then he lines himself up with Harry. He doesn’t press in though. He leans over Harry, nudging himself between his cheeks to stay lined up, and presses his forehead to Harry’s.
“I want you close. I want to kiss you. I want a lot of things you. Is that okay?” Harry nods, wraps his arms around Louis’ neck, bends his legs and wraps them around Louis’ waist, and then kisses him. Louis presses in slowly. He bottoms out and holds still in Harry for a while. They kiss, and he doesn’t move until Harry gives his hips a little bounce and Louis groans and bites his lips before he’s drawing back and pushing right back in with a quick and forceful jolt. Harry sighs happily.
“God. I’ve wanted this since I saw you walk around that curtain to play doctor with me.” Louis groans, twitches inside Harry and thrusts in harder. Harry shifts his legs, and he cries out when he puts them on Louis’ shoulders because Louis is swivelling his hips and hitting him so deep it’s brilliant. And he’s growing hard again, which is promising. Louis continues to kiss Harry like his life depends on it.
“I want to do this all the time. And hold you. And watch you watch movies. And read shitty romance novels with you just to laugh at them.” Louis speeds up his pace. “I want to go on dates with you as much as possible. And eat shitty takeaway with you. And fuck-”
“Louis!” Harry shouts when Louis gives an extra thrust, hitting him right in the prostate.
“Babe, god. Kiss me. Shut me up.” Harry kisses him.
“Keep talking.” Harry whispers. Louis obliges.
“I want to go on walks with you. Give you piggyback rides. And drink shitty coffee at that hipster place you talk of. I want to talk to you until the sun shines through the curtains and blinds us. God. H, I’m gonna-” Harry whimpers and nods, because now he’s stroking himself fast and to the pace that Louis’ thrusting, and they can’t stop kissing, can’t stop saying sweet nothings, and it’s one little comment that sends Harry over first.
“I want the world with you, if you’ll let me, H.” Harry cums with a violent cry and shudders, and he tightens around Louis so much Louis spills into him, pressing his forehead to Harry’s and kissing him like it’s the last kiss they’ll ever share. Like Harry’s the last drink of water in the world and Louis’ parched. Like this was always meant to be where they were supposed to end up.
“Shower?” Louis pants into Harry’s ear. Harry whines and snuggles into Louis. His legs drop from his shoulders but he doesn’t let Louis pull out just yet.
“Another minute. Fuck.” Harry eyes open. A curl is in his face, so long it’s past his chin and bone straight. Louis moves it and smiles at him fondly.
“You okay?”
“Better than.” Harry says and grimaces when he moves.
“I think we’ll need to wash your sheets.” He says softly, and Louis just laughs and kisses him.
“Did you mean it?” Harry says, and Louis looks at his eyes.
“Mean what?” He questions. Harry touches his cheek and Louis leans into it.
“What you said. Did you mean those things?” Louis smiles. He kisses Harry’s nose, and his heart gives a steady leap. He’s so fucking gone, and he’s so fucking okay with it. His answer is swallowed by a kiss, but he knows Harry knows the truth.
“I meant every single word, H.”
*
Louis isn't panicked at all, he's excited. Okay, he’s totally panicked. Today is the day Harry's been boasting about and has been hyping up for a month now. Graduation day. He's excited for Harry, and was so surprised when he actually asked Louis to attend the ceremony. Louis of course accepted and booked the day off work. Without telling Harry, he actually booked the full week off, as a graduation present. Harry’s always so patient with Louis' work schedule and so he thought he'd take time off for them to spend together. He also had some plans for this week.
But one vital detail was forgotten until just days ago when Harry talked about it, and now as Louis stood in front of his mirror, he was sort of freaking out. He's going to meet Harry's mum and sister today. He's anything but ready for this.
He tries not to fret over it, tries not to let his nerves get to him. He just knows that this is a big deal for Harry too and he can't make it seem like it's all about him. He can see Harry's nerves when he woke up a nervous ball of bouncing energy. Now standing behind Louis with a nervous smile, Louis sees just how much Harry's worrying about it too. That and not tripping across the big stage. Louis turns around and straightens Harry's ridiculous bow tie. Harry gives him a nervous smile. Always smiling.
"It's going to be great, babe. I promise. You'll do fine, you won't trip. Watch your feet, smile. Don't trip on the chords."
"Are you okay? You're not worried about meeting mum?"
"Are you worried about me meeting her?" Louis questions and Harry bites his lip.
"I'm worried that you'll worry."
"Well let's worry together then. We've got to go, you're going to do great, and I'm going to charm the pants off your mum."
"She'll be wearing a dress." Harry tells him. Louis grins.
"Then I've already done my job. Damn I'm good."
It relaxes Harry, the joking. But Louis can feel the nerves from both of them. This is a big deal. Meeting the parents was a big deal, and what with their undetermined relationship status, Louis was sure this could go two ways. The good, confirmed boyfriend route, or the he's just a friend route. Louis would probably want to curl up and die if it was the latter of the two.
"Ready?" Harry asks, grabbing his cap and gown on the way. Louis jingles his keys with a grin.
"Let's go, graduate."
The stage is set up on the football pitch, and it reminds Louis a lot of his graduation. He and Harry waltz around and talk to teachers and students, and Harry just introduces him as Louis. When they're waiting for his family, Harry leans down and kisses Louis' cheek, just cause. Louis doesn't blush. He doesn't.
"Well don't you fuckers look cute. You match." Niall cackles from where he's standing, gown already on and hat pulled on top of the SnapBack on his head. He looks ridiculous.
"We do, don't we?" Harry straightens his bow tie, making it completely crooked.
“Every time you do that, you muss it up. Here, lemme.” Louis fixes it out of habit.
"Well that's adorable." A light voice says from behind Louis and he pauses. The accent sounds familiar and Louis heart beats hard. Harry takes his hand and smiles at him.
"Hiya Gems." Harry says around Louis' shoulders.
Louis turns as Harry steps around him to go hug his sister. A very pregnant sister at that. Her blond hair is long and wavy, and she looks like she's a natural brunette. Beautiful. Radiant. Pregnant. At least seven months, Louis guesses.
"You're Louis." She says with a smile. He realizes she's been watching him. He grins.
"Yes. I'm Louis." He looks to her belly again. She eyes him curiously.
"I've heard much about you. You're a midwife yeah?" Louis nods and she smiles.
"You're guessing how far gone I am aren't you?" She touches her stomach with a knowing smirk.
"Of course. I'd say at least seven months. Maybe seven months and a week? And I think it's a boy." Gemma looks startled and impressed.
"Are you a baby whisperer?" She asks and Louis laughs.
"I'm just a midwife. I see plenty of pregnant ladies at all stages of pregnancy. It was a lucky but sort of trained guess. You carry it well though. You're positively glowing." He tells her and he looks at Harry who is looking at Louis like he's the sun. Gemma surprises him, she hugs him.
"Thanks. I needed that. I feel like a cow right now. He's killing my back, and I've still another two months of torture. I just want to see him now. But thank you. For a lot. We'll talk later, yeah?" She pulls back after whispering this to him, and winks at him. He smiles. He thinks he's gotten the sister stamp of approval. Now for the most daunting one.
"Harry! My baby! Oh look at you! You're so thin! Don't you eat!" He hears her fawning over him and turns to Harry. His mum is just as beautiful as he imagined. Hair pulled on top of her head, a dark brown like Harry's. Big beautiful eyes and a warm smile. A mother’s touch. She's wearing a dress like Harry said. He grins.
"Oh, and you must be Louis!" She throws herself into a hug and it's more than shocking because he imagined a formal hand shake. This was going well. He hugs her back.
"Mum, this is my boyfriend, Louis." Louis' heart swells. Boyfriend. He mouths the word to Harry who is grinning at him from behind his mother.
"Well I better go take my seat... wouldn't want to be late to my own graduation now would I?" Harry kisses both Gemma and his mum, stopping at Louis who is looking at him like he's the sun. Louis' beaming. Doesn't he know Harry thinks he's the sun too? Louis fixes his bow tie for him again.
"You and this stupid tie. You couldn't do a normal tie?" He teases lightly.
"This suits me better." Louis smiles at him.
"It definitely does, babe. Alright. Now, don't be afraid. We're here rooting for you."
"And we're prepared to laugh if you fall." Gemma chimes in and Louis rolls his eyes. Harry bites his lip to keep from smiling again. They smile so much it's ridiculous. Everything about them is ridiculous. He loves it all the same.
"Kiss me, you fool." Louis mumbles and goes up on his tippy toes and doesn't give two fucks when he's pressing his lips to Harry's, and kissing him until his cheeks are pink, his eyes are bright, and the announcer makes a final call for all graduates. Harry leaves with a final kiss, and Louis looks over to Anne and Gemma. They've both got knowing grins on their faces. He blushes but they don't say anything, the three of them make their way to their seats.
"Harry talks so fondly of you. I can see why." Anne says softly as they sit down, her between Gemma and him. He smiles at her.
"I think the world of him too."
"He told me what happened, the day you agreed to go on a date with him. He'd spoken of you for weeks before that, and he called me in a right state when you reacted poorly to the accident. I do hope you're okay now." She takes Louis hand in hers, a small and delicate thing so small in comparison to her son.
"It's all good now. It was just an accident, a fluke." He tells her. They don't talk much after that, the ceremony starts and Louis wishes he could be sitting beside Harry right now. And just when he thinks about texting Harry, Harry texts him as if he read his mind.
I miss you. Is it possible to miss you even when you're in the same room?. Have you played 20 questions with mum yet? -H xx
I miss you too so I definitely think it's a possibility. Wish I could sit beside you. Would be lots of fun to poke fun at your dean's funny looking hat. She's a lovely woman by the way. Your mum. I see where you get your charm from. -L xxx
Don't try and out x me. -H xxxxx HA!
You're an idiot. -L xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. -H xx
They stop texting then, because Niall is the next graduate to cross the stage. Everyone hoots and hollers for him and he shakes his hands above his head with his diploma like he won the lottery. It makes everyone laugh and Louis can hear Harry's high pitched whistling. He and Harry continue texting after Niall sits down. It's a long time for them to sit and clap for everyone else.
But then Harry's row is standing, they're getting ready to be called up, and Louis' heart is swelling at how proud he is. Harry bites his nails nervously, and Louis messages him to tell him to stop, that he'll be amazing and beautiful; as soon as Harry reads the message he has to tuck his phone away because 'Harry Styles' is announced as the next graduate, and he begins walking across the stage. Louis, Anne and Gemma are hooting, hollering, making complete arses of themselves but it makes Harry grin and Anne's snapping so many photos and they're all so fucking proud of their boy, and Louis is beaming with pride that he gets to be a part of this.
After the graduation ceremony, Harry comes running for them and the first person he sees is Louis. He hurls himself at him, Louis lifts him up and swings him around and Harry wraps his suit clad legs around his waist as if they knew this would happen. He can hear Anne snapping pictures as he kisses Harry, but he doesn't let it stop him. Hes so fucking proud and he just wants to take Harry home to his flat and get him naked and show him just how proud he is. But there are others here, and it's not alone time for them, and he happily puts Harry back on his feet and lets him go get congratulated.
Louis goes out to dinner with the Styles’ trio, and Niall as a tag along. They all drink champagne, compliments of the restaurant’s graduation day offerings, except for Gemma, who gets to drink sparkling water. She doesn’t pout about it (she totally does). Louis drinks the least, one glass champange and one glass wine because he’s DD, but Harry drinks only two glasses of champagne. He’s super cuddly and giggly, but he’s nowhere near drunk.
“You’d know if he were drunk.” Gemma teases and Harry pouts. Anne sips her fourth glass of wine.
“Yeah, like the time he drank an entire bottle of wine at the Christmas party, and he complained that the grape juice was bad.” Gemma starts laughing, and Harry whines from where his face is pressed to Louis’ neck.
“That was one time.” He defends.
“You ended up singing Christmas songs around the living room in nothing but socks. Your undies were on your head like a hat. And your curls stuck out the leg holes.” Harry whines as Louis laughs. He can only imagine that, and he wishes he could’ve seen it.
“I’m so glad Robin caught it on video.” Louis freezes.
“Oh man. You’ll have to send that to me.” Anne grins at him and nods.
“Well Louis it was so lovely meeting you. I hope you’ll take care of him, make sure he eats for me, won’t you?”
“I’m not much of a cook, but I’ll make sure he eats. He often cooks for me, so he looks after me too.” Anne’s eyes sparkle. She looks over at her children, where Harry is touching Gemma’s belly again so fondly, and Gemma is telling him of her recent pregnancy symptoms.
“You make him so happy, you know that? Harry has always been the romantic type. He loves to go on at home dates, pizza and a movie curled up on the couch and you’re golden. But he’s also very smart, and doesn’t let himself open up to someone he thinks will hurt him. So I trust his instincts, because he’s my baby and I see how over the moon you make him. So thank you, for making him happy.” Louis feels like crying. He hugs Anne back and tightens his hold on her when she goes to pull away.
“You should know he makes me happy too.”
“Don’t worry, darling. It’s clear how happy the two of you are. Nothing has ever been so obvious.” She smiles and winks at him and Louis can’t help but blush, and look over to Harry who is beaming at him and gesturing his hand out, ready to go.
After their goodbyes, and their promises to call and text and FaceTime soon, the two boys head for Louis’ flat. Harry twists his fingers through his curls, and taps his feet to the music from the passenger seat. Louis takes his hand in his.
“I have a secret to tell you when we get home.” Harry looks up, surprised.
“What is it?” He asks, excited. Louis laughs.
“You’re like a dog when someone mentions treats.” Harry grins, a goofy and giggly grin with big beautiful eyes.
“Tell me.”
“I can’t. Not until we’re back at my flat.” He says and Harry pouts the rest of the way home, but he can’t help but smile at the thought of a surprise. They race through the hall to Louis’ flat once they get there, and Harry all but pins Louis to the door when they’re finally inside.
“Tell me.” Louis sighs as Harry grunts this into his ear as he begins unbuttoning Louis’ suit jacket and shirt.
“Maybe I want to save it until later.” Louis teases, earning a nip to his neck. He cranes his head to let Harry suck a lovebite. He doesn’t let him do this often, so Harry relishes in the opportunity.
“Tell me.” He says again, pushing the shirt and jacket off Louis’ shoulders and then taking his hands down to the button of Louis’ pants. Louis grins but says nothing. He simply gets Harry out of the bow tie, the shirt and his jacket, and lets Harry continue.
“Tell me?” Harry says pleading with his eyes, and Louis shakes his head. Harry unpops the button, drops the pants and Louis boxers to the floor, then gets to his knees. Louis nearly cums there. Harry is eyeing his cock with a hunger in his eyes. He leans forward, doesn’t use his hands, and kisses it. Louis groans.
“Tell me.” Harry breathes as he trails his tongue along the underside of him. Louis throws his head back as Harry swallows him down in one go.
“Fuck, fuck Harry I- god.” Harry’s hands come up to Louis’ hips, holding them still so he can’t buck into his mouth like he wants to. Louis whines, bats his hands away, and fists his fingers through Harry’s curls, pushing him down.
“I thought we agreed we like it this way better…” Louis says and Harry whines around his cock. His eyes flash up, and Louis smiles. He begins to fuck Harry’s mouth and Harry just relaxes his jaw and places his hands on his knees. Louis shudders.
“You’re so good, baby.” Louis pulls out of his mouth, wipes at the precum on Harry’s lip and Harry licks his thumb.
Louis pulls him up with a little encouragement on his hair, and pins him to the wall. Harry’s hands go above his head and Louis presses his wrists there, the other hand pops the button on Harry’s pants and goes straight for his thickening cock. Harry groans and struggles to cant his hips against Louis’ hands. Louis pinches a nipple and Harry shivers.
“Today isn’t about me. It’s about you. So lets get you naked, yeah?” Harry nods, Louis pushes his boxers and pants off, and Harry steps out of them.
Then Louis pushes him to the couch. They fall in a pile of tangled limbs, with Harry on top of Louis and their forehead pressed together. They’re both hard, and at the angle they’re in, they both grind against each other, rubbing into each others hips. Harry wheezes out a breath, his hair hanging in his face. Louis brushes it away for him.
“I want to ride you. Can I?” Louis groans and nods, bucking his hips up and reaching above his head, down the side of the couch where he happens to hide a tube of lube for occasions like this. Harry grins at him, swivelling his hips. Louis also pulls out a condom. He hands them both to Harry.
“You want it.” Louis tells him, and Harry doesn’t even hesitate at popping the cap and coating his fingers with lube so that he can open himself up to take Louis. Louis just watches, giving lazy strokes to his own cock as Harry works himself up on long fingers that he knows just where to press to make himself keen and breathless and beautiful.
“Don’t touch it.” Louis warns and Harry whimpers, nodding as he fucks himself on his fingers. Louis taps Harry’s cock with his finger, trailing it over the sensitive skin.
“God, I want you.” Harry pants.
Louis begins rolling on a condom and slicking himself up, and Harry moves up just a smidge so he can line up with Louis. He lets himself sink down slowly on Louis’ cock, his hands grazing Louis’ sides and up to his shoulders and he kisses him as he does it. Louis’ knees act like a back support for Harry, and as soon as he’s fully seated on Louis’ cock, Harry throws his head back, rests his hands on Louis’ hips, and lifts himself up. Louis just watches as Harry works himself up, slowly swivelling his way down his cock again.
“Why’re you teasing yourself? I’m not stopping you. Take what you want.” Louis says and Harry preens, closes his eyes, furrows his brows and goes for it.
Louis just watches in awe as Harry bounces himself on Louis, and his cock gives a twitch as he feels Harry tighten around him when he pinches both of Harry’s normal nipples. Harry’s head falls forward, and Louis has to kiss him because he looks so beautiful. Louis draws him in by tugging gently on his necklace, bringing him closer until he’s kissing him, giving weak little thrusts so they aren’t still. Harry still manages to fuck himself on Louis with teasing swivels and he could stay like this all day. When Harry pulls away and goes full throttle at riding Louis, Louis holds his hips and helps him.
“Do you- fuck- want to know the surprise?” Louis grunts as he kicks his hips up, nearly bouncing Harry off of him. Harry cries out at the angle change, and shivers. He pauses but goes right back to it, a constant hum spewing from his mouth.
“Now?” Harry whines. Louis thrusts harder. Harry whines louder.
“Better time as any…” Louis says, and he reaches up to pinch Harry’s nipples again, rubbing the nubs beneath his thumbs. Harry cries louder.
“Oh fuck- yes.” Louis tells him to open his eyes and he does. He wants to see Harry’s reaction.
“You get me all to yourself for an entire week. I’m yours.” Harry comes down particularly hard, nailing his prostate head on. The words register in his brain im yours im yours im yours and it plays like a mantra in his head. He cums without even touching himself, all but collapses on Louis as he comes down from it, and Louis lifts his hips and only has about three thrusts left in him before he’s spilling into the condom, breathless and kissing Harry like his life depends on it.
“Really?” Harry asks when they can both finally breathe.
“Yes. I wanted to surprise you. A whole week of me to yourself. You won’t get sick of me, will you?” Harry smiles fondly, brushes Louis’ hair off his face.
“Happy fucking graduation to me.” Harry says. Louis nods in agreement.
“Happy fucking graduation to you indeed.”
Later they’re in bed, lazily kissing and growing antsy. Louis can sense Harry’s impatience.
“You’ve already had me three times already today. At this rate we’ll need to buy more condoms- and lube…”
“We’ll just go to a sex shop. Maybe we’ll find something fun to try.” Harry reminds him, sucking another fucking lovebite to Louis’ collarbone. Louis grunts.
“I’m going to look like a leopard.” He remarks and Harry just laughs and starts another one.
Louis straddles Harry and kisses him again because it’s probably his favourite thing to do in the world. Harry’s hands trail down his sides, nails scratching him lightly, and Louis’ hands are in his hair. Louis may or may not be grinding against Harry. Harry grips him tightly and grinds upward in swivel motions, making Louis gasp. He bites his lip and eyes Harry curiously.
“That could be a good thing…” Harry points out, and Louis nods. He doesn’t bottom often, but fuck it if he doesn’t take the chance at it.
“But, if it’s alright with you, I’d love for you to fuck me. Hard. Please.” Harry smiles at him so sweetly, and Louis just rolls his eyes.
“Only you could asked to be fucked hard so sweetly.”
“It’s a talent.” Harry says as Louis rolls off him to grab lube and a condom again. For the fourth time today. He chucks the lube at Harry, who sets to work with very little effort.
“I’m still lube-y from last time.” Harry tells him.
“Did you just say lube-y?” Harry grins and wiggles his eyebrows, and Louis gives him a shove. Harry lands face first into the mattress, arse in the air with three fingers in him. He ruts against nothing. Louis takes in the sight of him.
“Fuck me. Please fuck me.” He begs, and Louis spanks him. Harry jolts forward.
“Oh.” He says happily, and Louis can’t help but grin. He spanks him again, and Harry wiggles his bum in the air. Louis doesn’t know why, but he continues to spank him. Harry’s making these little noises and he’s so beautiful like this, and he doesn’t stop until both cheeks are pink and Harry is sighing and pressing up into each smack. Louis knows fucking him like this, he’ll definitely feel it.
“You ready for me?” Louis asks.
Harry hums, passing him the lube. Louis slicks himself up, presses himself into Harry, surprised at how easily he’s let in. He reaches for Harry’s hair, pulling him up with little effort and wrapping his hand around his neck gently. Harry’s back is flush against Louis’ front, and as Louis sinks into him completely, Louis squeezes ever so slightly on Harry’s throat, causing him to gasp and clutch his hands.
“Stay.” Louis tells him, and Harry nods. Louis gives his hips a swirl, and Harry groans. He thrusts into him shallowly, and Harry tries to touch himself but Louis won’t let him.
“You want me to fuck you hard, H?” Louis asks, and Harry cries out as Louis fucks into him hard. “You want me to take control?” He asks in a whisper, directly in Harry’s ear. He pins Harry’s wrist to his side. Harry writhes.
“Please.” He says, not begging or whining, just responding. Louis kisses his neck then, pressing a soft kiss behind his ear before leaving a lovebite there. Harry shivers.
“How’s this feel, H?” Louis thrusts again, and Harry hums.
“Good.” Louis can only imagine how good it feels. He’s not opposed to the occasional spanking either, the way it feels to sit down after having your cheeks turn that delicious pink shade… to be fucked just after it happens. He thrusts again and relishes in Harry’s giggling moans. He sounds so happy. Louis makes him this happy.
“You gonna be able to handle a week of me?” Louis asks, and Harry nods.
“I intend for it to be a week of nakedness. And cuddles. And this. Please.” And how could Louis deny him when he asks so nicely?
“You asked me to fuck you hard, H. Hope this lives up to your expectations.” Louis presses his hand to Harry’s shoulder, shoving him down until his entire body is flush with the bed. Louis presses Harry down even after that, because Harry’s struggling against him, begging to be pinned. And Louis is happy to oblige.
“Take it baby. This is what you wanted, huh?” Louis brings Harry’s arms behind his back, pinning his arms between Harry’s body and his. He lays as close to Harry as he can get without hurting his arms. And then he fucks him as hard as he can. Harry is making all sorts of noises.
“Thank you. Yes. God. Please. Please!” Louis doesn’t know what he’s asking for, can only imagine it’s reactions coming from a deeper part of Harry’s brain, the part Harry drifts to when Louis takes full control like this. He’s thrusting into Harry like his life depends on it, pinning his legs so Harry cannot move at all.
“Can’t move now babe. What’re you gonna do?” That makes Harry cry out, as if he didn’t already realize that he really has nothing to do but just take it like he asked for.
Louis loves everything about this, loves everything about him. He gasps as if it shocks him, realizing every little thought in his head that he had probably noticed before but never thought to question. It just felt right. And it didn’t scare him at all. It was a realization he welcomed. He loves Harry. He really fucking loves him.
“God.” Louis chokes out, tears pricking at his eyes as he fucks Harry.
“Can I-” Harry asks but doesn’t get the chance to finish asking.
“Cum with me, babe.” Louis says, and he cums right then and there.
Harry follows with a cry, a shudder, and a complete melt into the bed. Louis nearly collapses on him, but gently pulls out before pulling off the condom and tying it off, chucking it in the direction of garbage bin. Harry’s whimpering, shuddering in aftershocks and so Louis just pulls him as close as he can, holding him and cooing to him.
They nearly fall asleep like this, laying upside down in the bed, freshly and well fucked. But Louis shakes Harry out of sleep, carries him into the bathroom and gets them settled in a bubble bath. Harry’s the little spoon, completely spent and happily content with just laying back and letting the bubbles lap at his body, let’s Louis drip warm water over his chest, let’s himself just relax and feel safe in Louis’ arms.
“Thank you.” He breathes.
“For what?” Louis asks softly, kissing him just by the corner of his eye.
“For everything…” He tells him.
He turns his head slightly, looking up at Louis with the fondest eyes. He’s not even surprised that Louis’ staring back with just as much fondness. Harry really loves him. He’s not about to deny this, but he doesn’t know how to tell him. So he kisses him instead. And he hopes that it’ll tell Louis everything he wants to say but doesn’t know how. And maybe when he figures out how to tell him, they will be more than just words that he’ll whisper in the dark when Louis’ fast asleep, and he’s still loving him completely.
*
Louis’ never been one to keep a secret. So it makes sense that he’s lying awake in the wee hours of the morning, thinking about his realization. His epiphany. Something he should’ve known the moment he saw Harry. He was going to fall in love with him. He knew it. And he wasn’t at all surprised when it finally hit him.
Harry’s awake too, he can sense it. Harry’s resting his head on Louis’ bare chest, fingers splaying across his ribs and twitching ever so slightly. His breathing is shallow, and he gives the occasional sigh. Louis has his arm wrapped around his boy drawing small little patterns to the soft skin of Harry’s shoulders. He runs his free hand through tangled hair, and turns his head to kiss Harry’s forehead. He really fucking loves this boy, and if he doesn’t let it out, he feels like he’s going to explode.
“H…” Louis whispers. Harry scratches gently at his side.
“Hm?” He hums, but Louis knows he’s completely awake.
“I want to tell you something…” Louis breathes out, and he can feel Harry nuzzle his face against his chest.
“Okay.” His voice is soft, delicate, and it makes Louis wonder if he already knows.
“It’s a secret.” Louis says with a nervous smile, biting his lip. He can feel Harry’s smile.
“Tell me.” Harry says and his eyes flicker up to Louis. Louis presses his forehead against Harry’s.
“I’m in love with you.” He whispers in the softest voice he can muster. Harry doesn’t flinch, he just beams at Louis like he’s the sun and Louis can see his eyes sparkling.
“You love me.” Harry says back softly. Louis grins and nods. Harry giggles, he fucking giggles. He sits straight up in bed, and Louis watches him as he gets onto his knees and tackles Louis in a giant hug. Louis laughs then, because Harry is peppering his face in kisses and squeezing him so tight and it’s better than any reaction he could’ve expected or asked for. It’s barely light out, but Harry’s giggling and he’s happy and Louis is in love with him.
“God. I’m so in love with you.” Harry tells him and Louis’ heart feels like it might burst. Harry loves him. It doesn’t feel real but it feels so right and Louis has to kiss him because he’s so happy he could start crying, and that would totally kill the moment.
“I love you.” Louis says it again, because it feels so beautiful on his tongue.
“You love me.” Harry says and kisses him.
“You love me?” Louis breathes out and Harry nods.
“I love you.” He kisses him again and again. “Of course I love you. How could I not love you?”
Louis lays back down, taking Harry with him. He doesn’t stop kissing him until the sun is shining through the blinds, the birds are chirping, and the world is awake but it feels like it’s frozen in time. Because he loves Harry, and Harry loves him, and nothing could take this little moment of frozen time away from them.
*
“I don’t want this week to end.” Harry says as Louis kisses him on the front door of his flat.
Louis sighs. He doesn’t want it to end either. It was glorious to just lay around naked, wake up next to a beautifully naked boy, watching him cooking breakfast in nothing but the little gag apron Louis bought him on their third day together while the music from the radio drifts through the flat, and all he could do was think about how fucking lucky he is.
“I think it made it harder.” Harry says, nudging Louis’ nose with his. Louis nudges back.
“What made what harder?” Louis asks.
“Telling you I love you. It’s making it harder to leave. It’s making it harder to see you go. It’s just making me miss you so much more.” Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ neck, hugging him tightly. Louis grips Harry’s shirt- his shirt that Harry stole- and pulls Harry impossibly closer. He’s surprised when his first thought leaves his mouth before hitting his danger zone do not enter filter.
“Move in with me.” Harry tenses, gives a little laugh and pulls back to study his face.
“Cute.” He says, but he looks at Louis’ deflated look and is surprised.
“Seriously?” He asks, and Louis shrugs.
“It would make it less hard to see you. I’d get to see you every day. We wouldn’t have to do this… I’d get to tell you I love you everyday, and wake up to you whistling show tunes while flipping pancakes, and get to hold you all night…” Harry shakes his head with a fond grin on his face.
“I love you, but we can’t do that right now, Lou. I don’t have a job lined up, I could be going home to Holmes Chapel for all I know-”
“What?” Louis asks breathlessly, as if Harry had pierced a dagger into his ribs and just twisted it.
“I’m teasing love, stop taking things literally. All I’m saying is it’s a bit fast, and maybe this is good. Feeling it out before diving in head on, yeah?” He pouts. Harry laughs and brushes Louis’ feathery fringe out of his eyes.
“Besides, I can barely stand you. It’ll take a lot more convincing, mister.” Harry teases and kisses Louis before he can protest. Harry kisses him again and again, murmuring three tiny words over and over and Louis says them back and they don’t feel any less amazing than they did the first time he said them. Harry kisses Louis’ nose and finally steps back, making his way towards the door.
“You realize I’m going to pull out all the stops to convince you?” Louis shouts as Harry pulls open the door to go inside.
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
*
Harry lasts a whole year without giving in. It shocked him to say the least; he thought he would’ve given in sooner, but it became easier to say no because soon Louis too realized that maybe it wasn’t time to move into the flat together. They agreed that they wanted to live together sometime soon, the idea of it seemed like a distant dream and Harry knew if Louis had kept badgering eventually he would’ve said yes. He wanted nothing more than to say yes. But Harry had valid points. They had to test the waters before diving in head first. And there were many things Harry still needed to do before he could move into a flat with Louis. For one, he needed to secure a job. One that he was happy with, not one he would settle for.
So after months of impatient waiting, and interviews that never gave calls back; working part time at a coffee shop to stay afloat, Harry finally got taken on as a photo developer and assistant photographer at a graphics company and photography studio. He was so happy when he finally got the job, and Louis had taken him out to dinner to celebrate (and then fucked him into the next morning, but that’s besides the point).
And then even more good news came Louis’ way. Mary was transferring to a new hospital closer to her family, which left an open job offer as head nurse of the maternity floor and the first person they offered it to was Louis. He was surprised but so grateful and happily accepted. Harry was so proud of him, he took him on a weekend vacation to Paris where they drank fancy French wine, visited all the touristy places, and ate far too many French sweets.
But they had also come to the mutual decision that Louis’ one bedroom flat wasn’t going to be the flat that they lived in. Sure, it was great for them and all because they were going to share a bed, but Harry liked the idea of spare rooms and Louis liked the idea of starting fresh with a brand new flat, and so they spent majority of their time looking for the perfect one for them. It wasn’t long until they were signing a lease, and packing up all their things from both flats. And the big day had finally come; moving day.
“H, be careful of your back.” Harry rolls his eyes from where Louis is hefting a stack of three boxes as tall as him, and Harry’s only carrying one lighter one. Louis refuses to let him carry the heavy ones, and Harry regrets ever letting Louis have his mother’s phone number because Anne happened to mention his back problems, and Louis hasn’t shut up about it since he found out.
“My back is fine, idiot. Hit the lift button before I make you do all the work.”
“I’d prefer that-”
“Oi, shut up.” Harry says and steps into the lift, determined to hold the box in his arms without dropping it until he reaches the flat. He tries not to grimace when his back decides to be a bitch and starts aching in the lower part just before they reach their floor.
“I told you.” Louis says as if he knows, and Harry shoulders past him and into the flat before he can say any more, and Louis sets down the last of the boxes. He looks around him. That’s everything.
“That was the last set of boxes.” Harry tells him from where he’s leaning across the new breakfast island to stretch out his back. Louis comes over and rubs it for him, smiling when Harry finally sighs.
“We’re finally moved in, babe.” Louis breathes into his ear. “There’s only one thing left to do.” Harry bites his lip, he’s surprised though when Louis pulls him off of his spot on the counter, and over to the front door of their flat. He takes them outside and locks the door with his key. Harry is confused as fuck until Louis produces a second key. Harry’s heart is swelling, he’s dying. Louis presses the key into his hand and smiles so fondly at him Harry can hardly breathe. They’re both sappy idiots.
“Welcome home, babe.” Harry nearly cries, he opens the door with his key, and then takes Louis’ hand.
“Thank you. Now let’s christen every possible surface in our flat.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
*
They’re about half a bottle of champagne in the bag, it’s a disgustingly early time in the morning, and they’ve spent most of their day unpacking. And fucking. Not necessarily in that order. It doesn’t stop them from being horny again though. It’s why Louis’ on top of Harry, grinding on him and kissing him like he’s hit a dry spell and hasn’t gotten laid in month (and not just two hours ago)
“Wish we weren’t drunk… Want to play.” Harry says slowly, and Louis kisses him.
“We’re hardly drunk. We’re celebrating. ‘Sides, we have all the time in the world to play. We live together now. Oh fuck… Put some effort into it, Hazza.” Louis gives a steady thrust, Harry groans at the pet name and presses up into Louis’ hips. They’re grinding over boxers, but Harry doesn’t think it’ll be long before he has Louis inside him. He shivers at the thought.
“Can I have you now?” Louis asks Harry and Harry whines at that.
“Please.” He whispers. Louis wastes no time in opening Harry up, pressing his fingers against his prostate which he’s become well acquainted with in the last year. Harry writhes under him, just like he always does. Louis shushes him.
“Now, now. Settle petal. I promise I won’t tease. ‘m too tired.” Harry hums in agreement. They’ve had a long day.
Harry turns on his side, and Louis curls up behind him like he’s spooning him. But Harry sighs when he feels Louis slip inside him. Feels Louis’ arms wrap around him, on at the waist, the other around his shoulders. He can feel Louis moving his hips, using his feet to press into Harry and pull out only to come right back in, right where he’s supposed to be. He keeps nudging Harry’s prostate, and Harry grapples at his arm across his shoulders.
“I think we’re sex addicts.” Louis murmurs into his skin. Harry snorts and rotates his hips, causing Louis to hiss and thrust harder. Good.
“What makes you think that?” Harry asks, voice gravelly and tired and slurring at the ends.
“The fact that all we think about is sex. All we want to do is have sex. We’re talking about this right now… having sex.” Louis says and to make his point he presses in at the right angle and Harry whines, shivering with ripples of arousal.
“Just fuck me. Please. I want to cuddle you.” Harry says softly.
Louis brings his arm up so it’s nearly over Harry’s neck. Harry wants to press into it, to feel the slight gasp as he’s trying to breathe against the arm in front of him. He loves it, loves Louis’ reaction to it so he does it, closes his eyes and yes, the reaction from Louis is stellar. No longer lazy thrusts, Louis is pounding into him like he’s on a race against time, like if he doesn’t cum in the next minute they won’t get to for a month. Harry couldn’t imagine that. He gasps when Louis tightens his grip around his neck, and Harry knows he’s close. They both are. It’s only a matter of time before Louis’ spilling into Harry, and holding him close and biting into his shoulder to keep from making noises, and Harry isn’t far behind as Louis tugs him off lazily through aftershocks, and then snuggles him through his own.
“Happy New House Day.” Harry says sleepily, kissing Louis’ eyelids and snuggling in. It doesn’t take long for a reply, and it takes even less time for them to fall asleep.
“Happy New House Day, Hazza.”
*
Harry runs his fingers through his hair. He knows he’ll have to move from the floor eventually, but for now he presses his clammy hands to his forehead and sniffles. He flushes the toilet and doesn’t bother looking in it, knowing it’ll set him off for a third time. He pushes his hair back off his face. He’s grateful he let Lou cut his hair just a few weeks ago. It was still long, hanging by his shoulders but it was healthy again and he could still do his favourite buns. He wraps his hair up now in an elastic and climbs off the floor with help from the bath tub. Louis knocks on the door.
“You okay, H?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine babe. I’m about to get in the shower.” He says, trying to make his voice sound less like he’s just hurled his guts into the toilet bowl and more like he’s getting ready to go to lunch with his sister. He turns the faucet on and gets naked as he waits for the water to warm. Louis opens the door and walks in to see him, kissing his cheek and feeling how warm he is.
"You sure you're okay?" Louis asks, touching his forehead. Harry swats away his fawning hands.
"Fine babe. Just a little bleh is all. Get to work." He swats a towel at Louis's bum, laughing at how his scrubs sound when he does it. Louis grimaces at him.
"You are something else, you are. I just wanted to tell you it's a later shift tonight so it's okay if you eat dinner without me. Feed the food baby." Louis says and pats Harry tummy. Harry frowns and swats his hands away.
"There isn't a baby in there. Food or other." And Louis just kisses him.
"I'll see you after work." Louis tells him before slipping out of the bathroom. Then he pops his head back in.
"Also, please be careful.Normally I'd stay and make sure you got out of the shower safely but I really need to go. Just don't slip okay? I'm not in the A&E to play doctor today." Louis says with a wiggle on his eyebrows and Harry flips him off and calls out that he loves him too as he hears the door shut. He then climbs into the shower and tries to wash away the shitty feeling he’s been having for what feels like forever. Sometimes he wonders if he’s got a bug that’s going to kill him. He thinks he’s watched far to many documentaries about these types of things.
He’s finally out of the shower and sends Louis a selfie of him brushing his teeth naked with a thumbs up to prove he didn’t fall and kill himself, and Louis sends back a kissy face before telling him he’s got a baby to deliver. Harry continues to get dressed, he pulls on the white pinstripe button down shirt and a pair of jeans (the ones Louis likes to call jeggings). He frowns and grunts in frustration when he struggles to get the button done up. Did they shrink? Louis must’ve thrown them in the dryer again. He finally gets the button done up, slips his phone in his pocket, grabs the bib and pacifier Gemma left the last time she and Will and baby Henry were visiting, and slips his wide brimmed beige fedora on his head as he walks out the door.
He’s a five minute walk to the little cafe they agreed to meet at, and so he decides to be a productive healthy person and walks. His feet hurt by the time he gets there and he wishes he had worn his comfy sandals instead of his boots. Gemma is sitting in the corner table on the outside patio with baby Henry in his pram. She stands when she sees him coming, holding her arms out for him to hug her, and she grunts when his hat hits her head mid-hug.
“Only you could dress like a rice farmer and pull it off I swear.” She says and flattens her skirt as she sits down. She’s ordered an iced tea to sip on, and when the waitress comes back Harry orders a lemonade. He brushes his sweaty palms along his thighs.
“You okay, Hazza? You look a little… run down.” Gemma says as she sips her tea. Harry blushes.
“‘m fine Gem. It’s just a bug or something.”
“And you brought it around my child?” She says accusingly, ready to pull but the covers on the pram to hide Henry from the sickness. Harry scoffs and scoops the now ten month old out of his seat and into his arms. Henry’s immediate reaction is to scream loudly, happy to see Harry. He then grabs Harry’s necklace.
“It’s not contagious Gem or Louis would’ve caught it by now.” Henry yanks hard on the chain and Harry takes it from him, hiding it beneath his shirt. The baby scowls at him.
“Don’t tug it then.” Harry tells him simply, pulling it back out. Henry seems gentler this time around. They order their food and Gemma keeps eyeing Harry like she’s looking for something. She hands Harry Henry’s bottle, and he happily holds him as he eats.
“‘s feel like to breastfeed?” Harry asks and Gemma gives him a knitted brow look.
“Really?” She asks, and then looks at the baby falling asleep in Harry’s arms. Harry burps him gently before rocking him further to sleep. Gemma smiles and then starts to eat her salad.
“They chomp on your nipples all the time, and it hurts like crazy when there’s too much milk and the baby refuses to latch on. And pumps are just weird.” She explains. Harry sets the sleeping baby back in his pram to sleep, and he devours his salad.He finishes before Gemma, and she started before him. She pushes the last croutons around her plate. Harry bites his lip and furrows his brow.
“I think something is seriously wrong with me.” He says and Gemma looks up, startled.
“Why?” She asks, and he just sighs.
“I’ve felt like shit for weeks. I feel constantly nauseous. I actually got sick this morning, and a few times last week. My appetite has changed… like sometimes I hardly feel like eating, but right now I am probably going to eat my sandwich and half of yours. Smells bother me. I just- maybe it’s not a bug.”
“Maybe it’s a baby.” Gemma says, and Harry thinks she’s joking, because it’s Gemma of all people saying it. But when he looks up, she’s eyeing him again with a serious look.
“Are you joking? I know you’re one for serious sarcasm that can be taken two ways but- Gem please tell me you’re joking.” Gemma just presses her lips together. Harry laughs.
“I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.” He says, but there’s a shake to his voice that he didn’t realize until now. What the fuck.
“Gemma, I’m not pregnant.” He says more firmly. But it sounds shaky in his head. He looks down at his sweaty hands on his lap.
“Clammy hands?” Gemma asks and Harry scowls at her. His eyes fall on his pants button. He scowls at that too.
“This is ridiculous. I’m not pregnant. Stop making me question it.” Harry says defensively.
He looks around the patio. A woman is dining with her friend. Her hand sits on her belly. Her pregnant belly. Harry looks at the other friend. If he looks close enough, he sees a barely there bump. He squeezes his eyes shut and wheezes out a breath. Gemma places a hand on his shoulder and he looks up, panicked. He feels like his chest is being crushed. Gemma gives him a warning look before pulling a fucking inhaler out of her purse. Always prepared.
“Breathe, Haz. You’re okay.” He listens to her motherly instincts, breathing in and wheezing out air. He waits for the meds to kick in. How fucking embarrassing, an attack at a restaurant. He hadn’t had one in years. No doubt Gemma will tell his mum, and she’ll call him and tell him to go to a doctor.
“‘s that my inhaler or yours?” He asks, peeking up from where he’s resting his head on the table.
“Mine. I used to get really wheezy while pregnant with Henry, the doctor gave me a prescription for inhalers until after he was born. That’s my last.” She tells him and he takes another hit of the inhaler before handing it back.
“Gemma.” He says weakly, and she nods.
“I know, babe. Can we get those to go? My brother is feeling ill.” Gemma asks the waitress as she brings over their food. The waitress frowns and takes the food back. Harry pays for the meal to make it up to Gemma, who argues of course because when doesn’t she argue? They go to Gemma’s car and begin to drive, and Harry is confused when Gemma drives right past the flat.
“Where are we going?” Harry questions, and Gemma glances past him to check lanes before turning.
“Tesco’s.” She tells him. His stomach furls up in knots.
“Gemma.” He whines pathetically, but she waves her hand and turns into the parking lot of Tesco’s. Then he complies to his sister’s insistence, helps get Henry into his pram again, and follows her into the Tesco’s.
“I’m too nervous. I don’t even have to pee.” He tells her, so she chucks a water bottle at him.
“Drink up.” She picks up at least ten pregnancy tests.
“I’m not buying all those, Jesus.” Gemma glares at him, her face reddening.
“Harry, every sign is leading to this. Don’t you want to know the truth? Could it really hurt to know if there’s a baby in there?” She glances at his stomach, and he gasps softly. He touches his stomach, His fingers shake. The idea of a baby? Inside him? Louis’ baby. His eyes start to tear.
“Gimme those fucking boxes. All of them.”
“Cash is this way.” Gemma points, but Harry just waves his hand at her like she does so often to him.
“I don’t have time for the bloody cashiers!” He shouts on his way to the bathroom. He chugs the bottle of water Gem gave him, and not even five minutes in the family friendly bathroom, Harry’s reading the instructions on how to pee on a fucking stick.
“Gemma, we have a problem with tests three and eight!” He shouts through the door.
“Just pee on the fucking sticks, Harry. Jesus. It isn’t rocket science. Do you want me to come in there?” Harry grimaced at the thought. It’s not like she hadn’t seen him before but it would be weird to have her watching him pee on sticks.
“But it says I need to pee in a cup for these ones! Gem, I don’t have a cup!” He hears Gemma curse and walk away. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s got the tests lined up like a fucking army line on the counter, each looking as daunting as the next. Some are stick forms, some are little ruler sized ones that you use a dropper with. He’s never been so confused in all his life. Gemma bangs on the door a minute later.
“If you’re not going to pee, I am.” She sighs, thrusting a cup at him and comes into the room with him, leaving a sleeping Henry right by the door. She sits and pees in the toilet, and Harry’s surprised to see she too has taken a pregnancy test as she sets it on the counter away from his. She shrugs and doesn’t elaborate.
“Alright. Pee in your cup and do your tests.” She says turning away from him as she decides to change Henry’s nappy.
Harry does as told, and then does the dropper tests first. He doesn’t look at them, he simply puts the stick ones in the cup for a minute before pulling them out, putting the caps back on and waiting. It’s the longest ten minutes of his life to say the least, and he can’t look at the tests. When Gemma tells him the timer’s up, he’s so afraid to look.
“Haz, you have to look some time.” She tells him softly, touching his shoulder. He starts crying. He doesn’t know why.
“Oh, Haz.” She says and holds him. He cries until he thinks he’s cried himself dry. He wipes his eyes and she gives him a soft smile.
“If it makes you feel any better, mine says not pregnant. Maybe yours will have the same result. If that’s what you’re hoping for… I can’t tell if you want this to be real or if you’re hoping it’s not.” Harry swallows. He doesn’t know either.
“Okay… Let’s look.” Harry finally steps closer to the ten sticks laying on the counter.
“Negative? Or positive?” He frowns at it. He looks at the pictures. Two lines is positive. He can’t tell.
“They’re hard to read sometimes… Let me see.” Gemma takes it and glares at it.
“Negative. One line.” She points. He sighs, he doesn’t know if it’s a relief or not.
“This one says… Harry, it says positive.” His stomach gives a swoop. He takes Gemma’s hand in his.
“Positive. Positive. Negative. Positive. Positive. Positive. Negative. Positive.” She calls them out as they go down the line. Harry starts to cry again. His hands shake and he covers his face. Seven out of the ten tests are saying he’s pregnant. He’s not sure how he feels. He turns to hide his face towards the wall, doesn’t want Gemma to see him cry again.
His foot hits a patch of water from the sink and he slips. His arms flails for purchase but all that does is sends him falling forward into the sinks. And just his luck, he hits his head off the counter. His eyes flash spots, and Gemma calls out his name and he answers with a soft ‘bloody fuck I’m pregnant ow that hurt fuck.'
“Bloody fuck is right Haz. You’re bleeding.” She tells him, touching his forehead. He hisses at her, batting her away and pulling himself up. He looks in the mirror. His head's a mess. His hat’s on the floor, and there’s blood trickling down his forehead. He quickly presses paper towel to it.
“I suppose I’ll have to take that trip to the A&E after all.” Harry mumbles, sweeping all the tests into the plastic bag Gemma had brought in with them. Then he hands the cashier eighty pounds and the boxes, waves the bag of tests in front of his embarrassed face, and then points to his head. The cashier waves him off without so much as a second glance.
“You’re such a clutz.” Gemma says as they get into the car. Harry tries to focus on the car in front of them. He feels dizzy and sick. And pregnant.
“Gemma, I’m pregnant.” He says softly, biting his nail. She stops him.
“Congratulations baby brother.” She says happily, and he actually smiles.
He looks down at his pretty flat stomach. He touches it with shaky hands. There’s a baby inside me. He bites his lip, he feels like he’s going to pass out, and he can’t tell if it’s from the fact that he’s got blood oozing through the paper towel stuck to his head or if it’s the fact that he’s pregnant.
He and Gemma get escorted immediately into a room by Barbara, and he’s laid back on the bed. A nurse he doesn’t recognize starts taking the paper towel off his head. The cut isn’t deep, and it’s not long, maybe three inches? And it’s right at the hairline.
“I don’t know if the doctor will want me to stitch or tape. Let me go get him.” The nurse says, turning to go find the doctor.
Pregnant. It keeps going through his head like a mantra. He stares at the ceiling. He doesn’t know if Gemma is talking to him. All he keeps hearing is Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. A baby. I’m having a baby. Louis’ baby. Harry gasps and clutches his head, but it’s more out of shock than anything. Gemma jumps, concerned.
“H?”
“Gems… How am I ever going to tell Louis?” He asks and Gemma relaxes.
“Oh. I never thought of that. I mean, you’re going to have to set up an appointment with a OBGYN. Maybe… maybe you could get them to test you here? Pretend you’re unsure if you’re really pregnant. They might need to know that, for medications and all. And maybe they’ll do an ultrasound...” Harry had never thought of that. He nods. It couldn’t hurt to ask.
“Alright. The doctor’s here to look…” Harry’s about to blurt out his question about the test but then he realizes who the Doctor is. Liam.
“Shit. Hi Harry.” Liam says, not at all surprised that it’s him in the bed. Harry remains still and silent while Liam checks.
“It looks like it’s okay to just do tape, Leigh-Anne. Actually, maybe do glue and some strips to be safe. This one’s got a nurse boyfriend at home who can look after him…” Liam winks and turns to leave the room. Gemma’s giving Harry the eyes that say ‘why didn’t you ask, idiot?’ but Harry just sighs. Leigh-Anne steps forward with the skin glue and strips, smiling at him.
“Tell me… if I requested a pregnancy test from here… would that be something that could happen? I mean- I’m not one hundred percent sure if I am but- I am practically a full time patient here and I know with head injuries they sometimes prescribe a few days worth of pain meds, and I’m not sure if the meds they normally give would be alright if I were pregnant? And I’d rather not take the risk…” Harry says in his rambly self, and maybe Leigh-Anne will think he’s delusional, but she seems intent on listening, and she even confirms with Gemma.
“It’s something you’d have to ask Doctor Payne about before he prescribes anything.” She tells him, finishing off the taping and applying a tiny gauze pad to the area to keep it covered while the glue sets. Harry’s stomach rolls. He’ll have to ask Liam. Fuck.
“I- Okay.” Harry nods and Cara goes off to get Liam again. Harry feels sick.
“Why’re you so afraid of asking the doctor for a pregnancy test?” Gemma asks.
“Because he happens to be Louis’ best fri- oh. Liam.” Liam is standing by the curtain, his face pink and a knowing look in his eyes. Harry bites his lip.
“This isn’t some prank?” Liam asks, and Harry shakes his head.
“God. Does he know?” Harry shakes his head again. Liam runs his hands through his hair.
“Listen I- I already know.... I took like- ten tests at Tesco. It’s how I got this… I’m pregnant. I just- I want to be sure, before I tell him. I’m so scared, Li. And I just- I know technically I’m using your time when someone else could but- but I’m scared and part of me is grateful that you’re the doctor on today because you understand… right?” Liam nods, looking at his feet.
“I’m technically not supposed to unless we think it’s a hazard to the- fuck- to the baby. God Harry, you’re having a baby!” He whispers, biting his lip. Harry sort of smiles at him, and Liam smiles back. Harry’s face pales immediately after.
“You’re pregnant?” Zayn is standing behind Liam holding a container of someone’s pee but his face has never been more serious, more happy, more surprised. Harry bites his lip.
“Well why don’t we tell the whole bloody neighbourhood my brother’s knocked up-” Gemma says but Harry stops her.
“Another friend of Lou’s, Gem. It’s okay.”
“Zayn, deposit that sample in the testing area, and then go collect a pregnancy test…” Liam shakes his head like he can’t believe it. He looks at Harry’s stomach again, and then back at Zayn who is staring at the same thing. “And the portable sonogram machine if it’s available.” Harry nearly cries. Liam comes close to him and hugs him. Totally unprofessional, but he doesn’t care.
“Congratulations Harry. You’ll have to tell me how Lou reacts.” Harry just smiles at him, but the smile doesn’t touch his eye and he thinks it’s probably because he’s scared out of his wits to see Louis’ reaction. It still doesn’t feel real.
“I got the test, and the sonogram machine will be ready in a few minutes so.... if you’re not feeling dizzy, you could do the test now.”
“Might have to drink some water first. I peed a cup full at Tesco.” Harry admits and Zayn actually laughs at that.
Five minutes after Zayn urges Harry to drink three glasses of cold, cold water, Harry’s peeing in a cup for the second time. His sample is sent off to the lab just down the hall for a quick test from ‘fancy testing people’ as Harry liked to call them. Ten minutes later, Liam has results in his hands.
“Do you want me to read them?” Liam wiggles the envelope.
“I feel like I’m on the Maury show and the father isn’t even present.” Harry says and that makes Gemma and Liam and Zayn laugh, and baby Henry to jump start awake in his pram.
“You are one hundred percent pregnant. And judging by your levels, you should be anywhere from nine to eleven weeks. Closer to nine, I’d say.” Harry freezes. It’s been confirmed by an actual doctor for fucks sakes. He’s pregnant. He closes his eyes. He’s smiling. He thinks back. Nine weeks ago… they moved into the flat together.
“Oh my god I know when it happened…” Harry says, covering his eyes like he can’t believe it but it’s real, it’s in concrete on a piece of paper. There’s a baby inside him. He touches his stomach and looks at Liam, who watches him with big eyes.
“It’s not a planned pregnancy, then.” Liam says softly, and Harry shakes his head. Liam curses under his breath. Zayn rolls the mobile sonogram machine in and beside Harry’s bed.
“I suppose since it’s here we may as well do a sonogram. Give you some pictures to help… break the news…” Liam says and turns the machine on.
“You um… your shirt.” Liam motions for him to take it off.
Gemma rolls her eyes as Harry unbuttons his shirt and waits. Liam adds the cool gel to his tummy. If Harry looks close enough, he can see where his stomach looks a little harder than the rest. Right in the middle, under his butterfly. There’s like a little tiny pudge, barely even there, but now- looking at it and knowing there’s a fucking baby in there- Harry squeezes his eyes tight. He’s grinning to himself, and trying not to cry. Liam starts moving the wand around on his stomach. Harry shivers, but his eyes drift to the screen. All he sees is black with a bunch of white swirls. He assumes that muscles. He looks to his sister, Gemma is staring intently at the screen, as if she knew what she was looking for. Liam must’ve found what he was looking for, because Gemma gasps and grows teary eyed, and Liam begins clicking on the keys of the machine.
“Harry…” Liam says softly. Harry looks at him, and Liam points to the screen. Harry looks to the screen. He makes a soft noise, covering his mouth to keep himself from releasing anymore. His eyes water.
“Oh my god.” Harry breathes. There on the screen is his baby who’s inside him. He can’t stop looking at it. There amid a black circle is a little cloud of white with a little head, two little tiny blobby arms and two little blobby legs. It’s curled up like it’s sleeping, and Harry glances at Gemma, at Zayn who watch on as Liam takes photos of it on the machine. Then the baby moves, and Liam has to adjust the wand to find it again. The baby moved. It’s real and it’s inside me and I’m having a baby and it’s Louis’ and I’m pregnant oh my god.
“It’s so little.” Harry says but he’s biting his lip to keep from grinning.
“Looks like a little gummy bear.” Gemma says and Harry laughs. Baby moves again, and it’s curled in again all cozy.
“Like a little jelly bean.” Harry cooes, wanting to touch his barely there belly. He’s crying, and Zayn’s handing him tissues, and he needs them, because then Liam clicks on the sound. And Harry hears his baby's heartbeat for the first time. He may or may not be sobbing and laughing into his tissue as Liam measures the beats per minute.
“175 per minute. That’s a perfect time for a 9 week old, Harry. Baby’s doing well.” Liam clicks off the machine and Harry wants nothing more than to hear that sound again, to see his little baby again. Then Liam hands him the sonogram pictures, and he holds them so close to him he’s afraid he’ll rip them.
“Is this how you felt?” He asks Gemma, who is blotting tears and nodding at him with a familiar grin.
“Nothing can describe the feeling, huh? Just wait until you can feel them move. It hits you hard then.” Harry feels giddy. He also feels exhausted. And then he realizes he hasn’t been here for a baby appointment, he’s here because he bashed his head open after finding out he’s going to have a baby.
“I suppose I should go home and get some rest then…” Harry says as he sits up, wiping the gel off his tummy. He buttons his shirt back up, and lets Gemma help him stand. Liam hands him a paper.
“They’re safe. There’s also a script for prenatals until you can book an appointment with an OBGYN.” Harry thanks him, and Liam pulls him back gently. His eyes are big and his smile is so kind.
“I know this is probably not the way you planned for people to find out… but I’m so happy for you and Lou, Harry. Congratulations.” Liam hugs him again. Harry hugs back.
“Thanks.” Is all he can say, but he knows it’s enough for Liam to understand.
Leaving the hospital, part of Harry wants to run upstairs and tell Louis right away. He’s sure that everyone else probably would. But Harry knew that it wasn’t the time or place to break it to Louis that they were unexpectedly expecting. Literally. He would wait until Louis got home. He’d have time to think about how he’d tell him.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Gemma asks, but as they pull into the driveway of his flat, Henry starts to wail. Harry cooes at him softly, not at all fazed by the loud sound. He thinks it may be good for him to borrow his sister’s son to prepare for his own incoming baby.
“No, I’ll be okay. I’m going to go take a nap.” Gemma grins.
“Ah, the pregnancy naps are the best. I swear, take any many as you can-” Henry lets out a huge scream. “You’re going to need it.”
“Love you Gems. I’ll message you after I tell him.” Harry waves them off and then makes it to his flat before he breaks down again.
He’s sure it’s just waves of emotion coming at him. He’s elated to know he isn’t dying. He’s birthing a fetus inside of him. Of course he has the right to be sick. He’s still stunned by the fact that a living human being is being baked in his oven right now. The idea makes him laugh at the pun. And that’s how he’s going to break it to Louis. With a good old classic pun. But first, he needs a nap. Pregnancy is hard work.
*
When Louis gets home, Harry thinks he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. His eyes are this cerulean blue that are tired from work and in need of their glasses, and he’s scruffy today with his fringe. He holds Harry like he weighs nothing, but Harry imagines that’ll change when he starts adding on extra baby weight. Baby weight.
“How did you manage this?” Louis says, touching the now uncovered accident. Harry bites his lip.
“I banged it off the sinks at Tesco’s.” Louis frowns at that, kisses it better and then he and Harry curl up on the couch and watch shitty television for a bit. Harry grows a bit antsy, anxious to tell him and scared for the outcome. His hand resting on his barely there but totally feelable pudge is reassuring. Surely Louis could love someone he’s never met that he made couldn’t he?
“Soup’s in the fridge.” Harry says, and Louis hums.
He goes to get up to make some for himself, and Harry pulls the pictures out of his pocket. He hides them behind his back. Louis’ mouth waters when he smells the homemade chicken soup. He heats up a bowl and before Harry can talk, Louis’ eating at the table, slurping loudly and eyeing Harry with a smile and lustful eyes. Harry wonders if it’s possible to do what they do while pregnant. He supposes he could ask Louis, who’s an expert. But only after he’s told him, of course.
“Bun’s in the oven, Lou.” Harry says softly, and Louis knits his eyebrows and goes over to the oven. A singular bun sits on the middle rack. Louis pulls it out of the oven and holds it up, confused.
“Why is there a single bun in the oven, H?” Louis looks up at Harry, who’s biting his lip and holding something in front of him. In front of his stomach. Louis drops the bun.
“I surely hope you won’t do that to this little bun in the oven.” Harry says with a tiny little smile on his face.
Louis’ heart is pounding. Harry’s heart is pounding. He can’t tell what Louis is thinking. His face looks panic-stricken, surprised, shocked, and terrified. Harry just keeps smiling though, hoping at any moment Louis will come over to him, touch his belly, feel the beginning of his baby bump, their baby bump. Louis keeps staring at the bun on the floor. Back to the sonogram. Back to Harry’s face. Harry’s smile dwindles. His heart hammers. His hand goes instinctively to his stomach.
“Louis?” Louis just shakes his head. He steps forward. Lifts Harry’s shirt. Harry’s heart ricochets against his chest. Louis’ hand touches the pudge of Harry’s stomach. He freezes.
“Oh my god.” Louis says, and Harry tenses. Louis doesn’t sound happy. He doesn’t sound excited. He sounds- he sounds horrified.
“Louis?” Harry says again, but Louis steps away from him. His eyes are watery. Harry wants to hold him. To tell him everything’s alright. To tell him that they’ll be okay, the three of them.
“Harry I- I have to go.” Harry recoils as if he’s been slapped. Louis steps toward him, and Harry steps back until his backs against the wall. He’s clutching his stomach like his life depends on it.
“What?” He breathes out, tears falling from his eyes before he can stop them. Louis takes another step closer. Harry’s face stops him.
“I just- fuck- I have to go- I- I love you.” Louis says, and before Harry can even scream for him to come back, Louis’ out the door and gone. Harry sinks to the floor. He holds his tummy tight. And he coos softly to his belly, comforting it in any way he knows how, praying it’ll comfort him somehow too.
“Don’t worry, Jelly Bean. Daddy’s got you. I won’t let you go, I promise.”
*
Louis’ never ran so fast in all his life. By the time he’s made it to Liam’s building, he’s out of breath and heaving on the corner of the street. He gets in the building and in the lift without even realizing it. He’s knocking on the door with both fists, and he doesn’t realize he’s knocking on the wrong door until Zayn opens the door in nothing but boxers. A cig’s dangling from his mouth, and his hair’s haphazard on his head like he’s been sleeping. Louis’ breathing heavy and crying on his door step.
“He told you, huh?” Louis recoils.
“What the fuck.” He says stepping away from Zayn. Zayn realizes he’s overstepped something, steps out into the hall with open arms and the cig tossed back into the house. He steps toward Louis like a cowering cat. Slowly and steadily.
“Lou,” Zayn says warningly.
“How the fuck did you know before me?” He spits, and Zayn pauses.
“He was in the A&E today.” Louis’ got a bitter taste in his mouth.
“What the actual fuck!” He shouts. Liam is quick to open his door dressed in nothing more than a tee shirt and boxers.
“Louis? What’s going on? Did Harry tell you?” Louis spins around so fucking fast, he punches Liam square in the jaw. He gasps when he realizes what he’s done, watches Liam fall flat on his ass in shock. Louis quickly falls to his knees beside Liam, saying nothing but apologies over and over until he’s sobbing in Liam’s lap.
“Hey, you’re okay. Where’s Harry?”
“Home. Pregnant. With child.. My child. Bun in the- fuck-” He chokes on air, coughing and crying into Liam’s shirt until he can’t breathe.
“You’re meaning to tell me that you left Harry after he told you he was pregnant, to come over here and punch the fuck out of me?” Liam asks and Louis cries harder.
“I’m not ready to be a dad. How can I- I can barely look after myself- I’m not- I can’t-”
“Louis… You’ve practically raised six siblings. You deliver babies everyday, and feed them and change them and hold them. You do this for a living, you’re afraid you can’t take care of a baby that’s actually yours?” Louis hides his face.
“He’s pregnant, Li.”
“I know. And I’m sorry that we found out before you. But I thought you’d take it a lot better than this. You’ve left your significant other alone, in your house, after he’s just told you he’s pregnant. He probably thinks you’re off getting drunk somewhere. He’s probably thinking horrible things because you left without explaining, Louis. How could you do that to him?” Louis sobs again.
“I’m a terrible person.” Louis says.
“I’ll drive him home.” Zayn tells Liam, pulling Louis up off the floor.
“Louis, he’s pregnant. You and him? You’ve created a life. It’s a beautiful thing that you of all people should understand. I heard its heartbeat today. It’s strong. A fighter. Like it’s dad. Be the man I know you are, go home to Harry and fix this.” Liam kisses him on the forehead. “Congratulations, Papa.”
The ride home is a silent one. Zayn holds Louis’ hand. Louis only tells him to stop once. They finally get back to Louis’ flat, Zayn walks him to the door, and Louis turns to him.
“You might want to wait here… If you hear crying, or screaming, or anything, just please come in and stop it? But if we go five minutes without any of that, make sure I’m not murdered. If I’m not...” Zayn nods. He gives Louis’ hand a squeeze.
Louis opens the door to a dark living room. Every light is off. Harry is in the bedroom. When Louis steps into the room, Harry looks up from where he’s laying on the bed, shirtless, staring at the tiny little belly. The belly their baby is making. Louis immediately goes over to Harry, sits on the side of the bed, and takes his hand.
“I’m not giving up this baby.” Harry says simply.
He’s strong about it, unwavering and Louis’ so proud of him for standing up to him. So proud of him for carrying a baby, their baby. Louis refuses to say anything. Instead, he places the thing that caught his eye on Harry’s tummy. A tiny, baby pair of VANS sneakers. Black to match Louis’. Harry starts crying, and pulls Louis to him in a bone crushing hug.
“God, I thought- I thought you were leaving me- or us- I thought you were leaving us. Please don’t leave us, we need you. We love you. Please.” Harry just holds tightly until he feels like he can breathe again, and Louis takes Harry’s hand in his right, and touches the bump with his left.
“I’m not saying I won’t mess up. There are a lot of things I have no idea what I’m doing. I can hardly cook toast most days, and I am a terrible cleaner. I might swear around them without meaning to, and be grouchy in the morning after a sleepless night, and I may want to have a drink with the lads once in a while. And there will be so many other things I do wrong, or you won’t like and I can’t even name them because I don’t know what they are yet. But I am not going to lie and say I will be the perfect dad. I’ve never had a child of my own, and I’m terrified I’ll do it wrong. And I shouldn’t have run off like that. Fuck- that was stupid of me. Oh- shit- oops. Sorry little Jelly Bean, pretend you didn’t hear Papa say that.” Harry laughs, of all things. Louis grins at him.
“I might be shite at a lot of things, and sure I may never be perfect, but one thing I can promise you is I will never leave you. Ever again. Not even when I’m panicking, not even when I need to punch Liam-”
“You punched Liam!?” Harry interrupts.
“I am mid-soliloquy Harry!” Louis fondly glares at him, and Harry’s hands go up in mock defeat.
“Where was I? Oh yes. I will never leave you. Ever again. Not even when I’m panicking, not even when I need to punch Liam. Not even if the world was ending. I will never, ever, leave you two again. That’s the one thing I can promise you. And I hope it’s enough.” Harry squeezes his hand. His lip wobbles.
“It will always be enough, Lou. I love you so, so much. We love you so much.” Louis kisses Harry, and then he kisses Harry’s tummy. Harry smiles at him as Louis rests his head on Harry’s lap, right next to his belly. He traces small patterns on Harry’s skin.
“I love you too. Both of you. My little family.”
*
“And they’re about the size of a navel orange now. This big!” Harry wiggles the perfectly peeled orange in Niall’s face.
Louis watches on and smiles at him fondly. Harry’s eyes are full of excitement, and Louis could never imagine Harry losing that excitement. Niall happily listens to Harry talk about his niece or nephew. It’s still too early to tell, but Louis has a strong suspicion it’s a baby girl. Maybe it’s because he can just imagine Harry with a girl, having tea parties and digging in the dirt and practicing ballet, while Louis teaches her football skills. Fuck gender norms, their kid is going to love the best of both worlds and do whatever their little heart's content. And of course if it’s a boy they’d do the exact same, but Louis has that gut feeling. The midwife in him is telling him they’re going to be having a baby girl.
Harry hasn’t had the chance to tell his mum their news yet. He wants to wait to tell her in person. Which should be fairly easy because their 16 week ultrasound with their OBGYN is in a week, and his mum is coming to visit then. He plans to tell her before the appointment, and then bring her along with them to see the baby. He can only imagine how she’ll react to the fact that she’s going to be a grandma again.
And as far as symptoms go, he’s only had every freaking symptom in the book. Louis says that’s a good sign, that the baby is growing and is making sure Harry knows it. And boy does he know it. He’s always hungry. The morning sickness is less now, occasional and still not fun, but it’s not as horrible as the first three months were. His heartburn has been crazy, and though he’s always hungry he’s having smaller meals to try and kill the heartburn in it’s path for destruction. He’s gassy, and Louis doesn’t complain but he knows that can’t be fun. His belly is achy from stretching, but it’s hardly done a thing. And his pregnancy brain is crazy. He’s so forgetful he doesn’t remember to wear underwear half the time. But he’s welcoming every symptom, knowing they’re reactions from his baby, growing inside him.
“So have we thought names yet?” Niall asks around a nacho. Harry cooked up nacho dip earlier, and Niall’s happy to help the two eat it up. They’re planning to watch a footie game together, and Harry cracks both the guys a beer and flips through a baby magazine with a smile on his face.
“No, we haven’t really thought of anything yet… we don’t know if it’s a he or a she yet, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to pick a name until I see them. Eventually we will find one and when we see them, we’ll choose.” Harry says and touches his belly gently.
It’s not changed much since he realized he was pregnant just three weeks ago. Now at fifteen weeks along (or roughly four months), this is the time when most would at least start to pop. But his belly hasn’t done much of anything, just tightened and lost it’s defined tone, but it makes Harry smile at the thought that Jelly Bean is growing inside him and eventually they’ll make an appearance, whenever they’re ready.
But still, he wants to pop so badly. Wants to see, really see his Jelly Bean growing. Wants to be able to put his hands on his belly, his pregnant baby belly, and talk to an actual shape and not just air where a baby will eventually be. Wants to feel them moving, because he’s so excited to feel his baby kick. He wants Louis to feel them kick. Wants to see his face as he sees his baby that he helped create move, and say hello. He wants all these things and more. He wants them to happen now, but he also wants to cherish every moment he’s experiencing one step at a time because for some, nine months goes by in the blink of an eye.
“Look it, Ni. He’s got his frustrated pouty face on again.” Louis whispers and Harry flips him off and flips the page in the magazine. He’s looking at a jungle quilt pattern, and wonders if his mum will make this if they have a boy.
“It only took Gemma like 13 weeks to pop, you’re almost 16.” Niall teases and Harry’s eyes snap up. He frowns, deep eyebrows knit with more frustration than needed. Louis can sense that Niall has crossed the line between the safe and danger zone for Harry. The danger zone is known for it’s random outbursts of crying or giddiness. This doesn’t look giddy. Louis springs from his recliner and sits between Niall and Harry, shifting Harry’s eyes to him.
“You’ll go eventually babe. And in a few weeks time when your stomach is so big you’ll be asking me to hold it up for you, you’ll look beautiful. And our little girl will be growing so big and strong, won’t you Jelly Bean?” Louis cooes to the barely there tummy. Harry sighs.
“We don’t know if it’s a girl.” He says petulantly and Louis grins.
“I’ve already got fifty quid that it’s a girl with Liam and Zayn.” Harry squawks in indignation.
“You’re betting on our unborn child? How could you?”
“I have $100 in that it’s a boy, so if you’re right you’ll have… three hundred extra dollars to spoil them with. I think it should go to a nice rocker.” Niall says and sips his beer. Harry frowns down at his belly.
“Daddy hasn’t bet on you, baby Bean. Papa on the other hand, well he seems to think he knows everything about you. Sh, we won’t tell him that we think he’s silly.”
Louis can’t help but watch fondly as Harry talks to his bare belly and rubs it absentmindedly. Louis can see where Harry’s tummy is starting to take shape, but that’s only because he’s seen so many others before Harry pregnant before. He’s watched his mum go through it four times after him, knows what it looks like for a belly to take shape. He can see where Harry was once defined and muscular and smooth is now tighter, firmer, rounder almost and smooth still, and just as equally lovely if not more. Of course to an untrained eye you wouldn’t see it, but Louis thinks within the next week Harry will pop.
“Did we take pictures today, H?” Louis asks. Harry’s eyes snap up.
“No!” He says excitedly, jumping up and walking quickly to his room to fetch his camera.
“Pictures for what?” Niall asks, and Louis turns around.
“Everyday we take pictures of him from the four angles, and we’ll compile them into a video by the end of it, ending with a photo of him doing the four sides again, but when it gets to the side views they’ll see the baby on his belly instead of his actual belly… just something fun to document…” Louis explains, and Harry comes out of his room handing Louis their simple digital camera (because it’s the only camera Louis can actually operate). Harry goes straight to the fridge and grabs another orange. Louis rolls his eyes.
“Harry also likes to take extra pictures of him holding fruit and food and stuff to show how big the baby is. It’s ridiculous.” Harry sticks his tongue out.
“You love it.” Louis just grins and takes the picture of Harry’s back view. Niall watches on like a proud parent. Louis finds it oddly endearing.
“Ever thought about doing a preggers photoshoot, H?” Harry grins at Niall from side view and Louis snaps a photo.
“I did. But I want the belly first.” He whines and rubs at the air, and Louis laughs as he snaps mid air rub.
“It’ll come baby. Give her time.”
“We don’t know if it’s a girl! At this rate, she won’t show until I’m about to have her.” Louis rolls his eyes. He feels triumphant.
“You called them a ‘she’.” Harry covers his mouth.
“I did, didn’t I?” Louis laughs, pulling Harry into his arms and kissing his surprised face. Harry laughs at it, Louis’ scruff tickling him.
“Do you really think it’s a girl?” Harry asks Louis, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. He really ought to get Lou over to give them a haircut. Louis flutters his lashes and beams at Harry.
“‘m a baby whisperer, remember?” He taps his temple.
“Oh yeah? What am I thinking, oh wise baby whisperer.” Louis thinks for a minute. There’s a glint in Harry’s eyes that gives Louis’ gut a steady swoop.
“You want to take me to the bedroom.” He says simply and Harry grins. Niall groans.
“Parent in the room, lads! The games on, c’mon. Go at it like rabbits later. But make sure Jelly’s sleeping, don’t want them to know what their daddies are up to.”
*
Harry’s about to cry. He’s laying in bed, looking down and he’s about to cry. He’s popped. He can see it the instant he looks at his belly. It’s not a huge pop, but he can totally see it when he’s looking from this angle, and can see the slight incline of the top part of his belly. And he’s crying as soon as he trails his hands down his chest, feeling his hand rise ever so slightly over the starting to bloom bump. His baby is blooming.
He takes a bazillion pictures, and doesn’t scream for Louis because he’s in the shower and knows it’ll scare the bejesus out of him if he shrieks his name the way he wants to. So he stands up and goes over to their mirror to inspect his bump instead. It’s so tiny, but on Harry’s frame it’s totally noticeable considering a week ago he was nearly flat. Harry can’t stop running his hands over it, realizes that it’s not just a pillow under a shirt or a swollen belly from eating too much, it’s a baby inside him growing, getting ready to come into the world to be theirs forever.
Louis exits their en suite bathroom and frowns when he notices Harry’s not in bed. He had planned to tackle Harry and listen to him complain about Louis being wet from his shower. But he doesn’t stay grumpy for long. He hears a sniffle. He turns. Freezes. Gasps. Rushes over to Harry and stands behind him, staring at the bump.
“Baby, I told you… I told you you would look beautiful.” Louis kisses Harry’s neck and presses his hands to the belly. Harry lets out a choked laugh, and he’s snapping pictures like crazy on his phone.
“Jelly Bean, Lou. It’s our little Jelly Bean. They’re real.” Louis laughs and kisses him.
“Of course they’re real… that’s your mum, I bet.” Harry quickly pulls down his shirt and tugs on sleep pants, because although it’s his house and he’s an adult he doesn’t want to walk around in boxers in front of his mother. He hasn’t done that since he was sixteen and he isn’t a child anymore. He’s birthing one. He nearly dies at the thought and runs to answer the door.
“Hello darling.” She says as he opens the door, throws her arms around his shoulders and hugs him tightly. He shuts the door and moves his mum out of the doorway, grunting when his back gives a twinge. Jelly Bean doesn’t like him lifting things anymore.
“Sorry love. Your back hurting you again?” She touches his cheek, stares at his face with a fond smile, and Harry absentmindedly rubs his belly. He can’t stop smiling because he can actually feel it now. His mum freezes after a moment. She’s staring into his eyes and she covers his mouth like she knows. Oh my god, she knows.
“You’re glowing. You’re… are you? Are you- oh Harry!” She bursts out into tears, hugging him for a whole other reason. He just laughs and hugs her, kissing her head in excitement. He didn’t have a plan as to how he was going to tell her, but now he doesn’t even have to. She’s jumping in place and he laughs. Louis’ pulling a shirt down when he comes out to see the scene before him.
“Told you you wouldn’t need to say anything, love. She’s a mum, she knows these things.” Louis is grabbing a banana and handing it to Harry. He frowns at Louis, who raises his eyebrows at him as if to say ‘you better eat that, mister’.
“Oh baby. I’m so happy for you guys! How far along are we?” She asks, and she respectful as she taught him to be because she doesn’t immediately go to touch his tummy like most people do with pregnant people. He lifts his shirt as he peels his banana and she takes that as her okay, touching the just popped belly.
“He just popped.” Louis tells her and Anne grins.
“I popped right away with you, because Gemma stretched everything out. I still haven’t been told how far we are?” She says, touching his belly still.
“16 weeks and a few days.” Louis says around a mouthful of an apple. Anne gasps.
“Oh, my darling. Well, you look well. Lovely in fact, simply lovely. Pregnancy suits you. You wear it well.” She tells him, twirling his freshly cut hair between her fingers. Louis shakes his less shaggy fringe. He looks fit, Harry thinks. He bites on his banana and then steps away from his mum to put the peel in the compost, before turning to Louis.
“I’m going to shower, feed my mother and do not show her the photos.” He warns teasingly, and Anne squawks as he walks down the hallway. He’s beaming. He stares in the mirror at his belly before showering.
When he’s done he puts on a thin black tee shirt. It feels tighter. Harry wants to cry but he’s grinning. He’s going to have to buy bigger shirts soon. He pulls a navy blue sweater over it to keep him warm from the Autumn winds of October.
“Ready to go?” Harry asks as he pushes back his freshly washed and dried hair. Anne looks to him from the breakfast island. Her eyes drift to her belly.
“Why was I the last to know? Gemma knew?” She pouts and Harry has to explain how he found out he was pregnant while Louis cleans up and grabs the keys. Anne takes his hand and follows him to the car as he tells her about his discovery with his sister. And then she pauses at the car.
“Wait. Where are we going? I just got here?” She asks. Harry grins.
“Ready to see your grandbaby?” Harry squeezes her hand as she squeals in excitement.
“Of course! Let’s go!” She climbs into the car and he and Louis exchange grins over the roof of the car before getting inside and they head off to see their little Jelly Bean.
*
“Oh look at their little hand, up by their face just like their daddy used to do.” Anne cooes at the tiny little baby on the screen. Harry watches in awe as he sees Jelly Bean, who’s looking so big today. Louis’ watching Harry, because if he watches the screen, he’ll be trying to look for a sign to the gender, because now is the time when you can start to tell. And he’s not ready to know yet. So he watches Harry’s face instead. Which is just as amazing. He keeps looking up at their little Jelly Bean though, smiling when he sees the little baby that’s in Harry.
“I think… I think we’ve got a good chance at getting a good look for a gender today. Did we want to do that?” The nurse is clicking buttons, getting her measurements for the photos. Harry looks at Louis, grinning.
“Would you kill me if I asked to wait?” Harry asks, and Louis shakes his head.
“Not at all. But, don’t you want to know?”
“I do, but I want to find out with everyone. I’d like to do a gender reveal party. Could we?” Harry asks, biting his lip.
“When?” Louis asks, brushing his fingers through Harry’s curls.
“We could do it Halloween. That gives us two weeks to plan and- could you get pictures for us while we’re discussing? Maybe just turn the screen so we can’t see and put the gender in a sealed envelope for us?” Harry smiles when the nurse grins, tells him that this is asked of them a lot and then sets to work. Then Louis and Harry and Anne start talking about the possibilities of gender reveal ideas.
At the end of the appointment the technician nurse hands them a sealed envelope with a definite answer and gives them a smile. The whole way home they talk about what they think it is, and what they want to do for a gender reveal party, and Harry can’t stop touching his belly. And Louis can’t stop holding his hand. And everything just feels really real and really wonderful.
*
“I can’t believe we’re going to find out the gender today.” Harry says to Louis who is hanging up a ‘boy or girl?’ banner on their wall with Liam. Louis grins at him.
“You excited baby?” He asks and Harry grins at him. He’s touching his bare belly. He’s definitely got a belly now. It feels like he’s got a mini watermelon in his stomach, and it’s so fun to just put his hands on the little round belly and know that his baby is in there. It’s not huge by any means, but it’s definitely doubled it’s size in just a few short weeks, and Harry knows by the end of this he’s going to be massive. He can’t wait to see it.
“I can’t believe we trusted Niall with setting up the reveal… What if he rigs it so he wins the bet?” Louis scoffs and waves his hand.
“Niall wouldn’t do that. He’s too excited to be an uncle to do that to his little footballer.” Louis pats Harry’s belly and Harry laughs.
“Cake is here!” Zayn shouts and the door swings open. He’s carrying a box with their two tiered cake and Harry can’t wait to see it. He rises off the couch slowly, he’s been taking things easy lately, and walks over to Zayn. Zayn eyes his belly and smiles.
“You’re going to be huge.” He says simply and Harry grins.
“I know. Isn’t it great?” He touches his tummy and then turns his gaze to the cake box. He then looks at Louis who is waiting patiently for him to open it. He refused to let Harry pick the cake, wanted it to be a surprise. Harry tentatively touches the box before turning and smiling.
“I can wait. I want to be surprised with everyone else.” Louis just watches as he goes into their room to shower. Zayn watches Louis’ eyes follow Harry down to the bedroom.
“You’re so gone for him.” Zayn says with a smile. Louis grins back at him.
“He’s having my baby, of course I’m gone for him. I was gone the day I met him.”
An hour later, Harry still hasn’t emerged from the bedroom, and their guests are starting to arrive. Louis knows what he’s doing in there, but everyone is curious to where he is. Gemma and Anne both show up together, the husbands in tow and baby Henry on Gem’s hip. Will is carrying a Halloween themed diaper cake made by Gemma. Louis loves it, decorated in ribbons and spiders and witches hats and pumpkins. Gemma just shrugs and kisses his cheek.
Everyone that comes into the door makes their guess on what they’re having by picking up a blue bowtie clothes pin or a pink hairbow clothes pin. They pin it to their shirts and there are a lot of mixed answers. Louis’ proudly wearing his ‘girl’ pin.
When people start to wonder where the man of the hour is, Louis goes to collect Harry from the bedroom. Harry is sitting on the bed, smiling at himself in the mirror. He looks up at Louis with a ginormous grin, and it’s because it fits like a glove. Harry had seen it in a shoppe window when he wasn’t even showing, and refused to leave until he owned one for himself. The shirt was adorable, Louis had to admit that. It was a black long sleeve shirt with a rib cage on it, a little pink heart to the left, and at the bottom of the shirt, right on the belly, is a little skeleton baby laying in a ball cuddling a teddy bear. It’s ironic that he got this one over the other ones, because now it seemed quite fitting, considering it’s Halloween. The shirt fits just snug across his belly, really showing it off. Harry’s hands touch the little baby skeleton, and Louis has to laugh because it’s so fucking cute.
“Oh my god, you look adorable.” He says, leaning in to kiss Harry. Harry pulls back, grinning at him.
“Thank you. But you have one too.” Harry pulls out a tee shirt that practically matches his, but instead of a baby in the belly it’s a beer and a slice of pizza. And between the ribs and the food items the words ‘the man behind the bump’ are written. Louis lets out a cackle of laughter. Harry must’ve bought this one recently when he went to get the other shirts with the baby peeking through the stripes.
“Oh man, they’re going to eat this up. Your shirt looks right fit on you, by the way.” Louis quickly changes and then the two of them head out to the party.
For some reason applause is heard, and it immediately becomes Harry going around the room hugging everyone he can and letting them touch the bump. Louis greets all the lads, Aiden and Bressie and Olly among the others, and even Nick came which surprised Louis. But they all seemed happy, drinking their pink and blue coloured drinks that Harry made in two big drink dispensers last night. Cara and Cher and Mary had brought foods to put with all the food Harry had made last night. It was a crazy time, all of them talking baby related things.
“Okay, the pregnant man is craving cake!” Harry shouts and everyone laughs, but they all gather around the cake and watch as Harry makes his way to Louis, who’s been waiting for him to say that. It was only a matter of time.
“Ready?” Louis says excitedly, and Harry grins. Louis opens the box and steps out of the way, and Harry is grinning and he’s tearing at their little cake. It’s adorable.
“It’s so cute, oh my god!” He says and blots at his happy tears, letting Louis hug him into his side. The bottom tier is a pink ballet tutu. Ruffles upon ruffles of pink icing encompass a pretty pink fondant bow. The top tier is a blue shirt with light blue braces, and big black bowtie. It totally fits their little theme, and Harry can’t stop taking pictures of it.
“I almost don’t want to eat it.” He teases and Louis laughs.
The two cut the cake together and then crowd lines up for pieces. Louis’ eyes glance around for Niall who is no where to be found. His heart gives a steady beat. If Niall fucks this up- and just when he’s about to panic and curse Niall out, Niall comes through the door wearing a leprechaun outfit, carrying a pumpkin. The red beard looks itchy but Niall doesn’t seem to mind, making his way through the crowd, holding onto the pumpkin for dear life. He makes his way to Louis, his face apologetic.
“I had a mishap with the first pumpkin. This one though, this one’s good.”
He holds up the pumpkin and brings it to the display area on the bookshelf that they set aside for this occasion, and Louis’ heart hammers for a different reason this time, knowing the answer is in that pumpkin. Niall has carved out the words ‘Boy or Girl?’ on the front, and he was smart to put a piece of black paper behind the words so they can’t see inside the pumpkin. Louis knows that as soon they turn over the upside down top to the pumpkin, they’ll know the gender of their baby. The one that Harry is carrying in his belly right now. He glances over to Harry where he’s laughing, a hand touching his belly like it normally is. He looks so happy. It makes Louis smile, beaming with pride for his boy and his baby.
“Hey H!” Harry turns to him, smiling at him like he’s the sun.
Louis points to Niall, who waves with an Irish jig and then gestures to the pumpkin. At first Harry grins because of course Niall would dress up like a leprechaun of all things on Halloween, but as soon as his eyes spot the pumpkin, he nearly drops his punch. But before he can make his way over, Gemma is announcing the first game they’re playing for prizes she’s brought. Louis just shrugs at Harry with a impish smile and participates in the game.
Three games later, Louis can see Harry growing antsy. He keeps eyeing the pumpkin like he wants to smash it to find out, and he can tell that others are getting excited too. When he looks at the time, he sees that it’s been nearly three hours since people got here. He figures now is a good time as any to announce it. He thinks if they wait any longer they’re all going to burst.
“Who’s ready to find out what we’re having!” Louis shouts. Everyone screams. Harry freezes mid mouthful of his second piece of cake. His eyes widen, he puts the plate down and nearly tackles Louis to get over beside him.
“Should we just get on with it? Or should I make a speech?” Louis asks and Harry pinches him.
“Make a speech later! We want to know what’s cooking in oven!” Harry’s mum shouts. Louis laughs and they put their pumpkin on the nearby stool so everyone can see.
“The only one who knows the gender in this room is Niall. He was the one who prepared this for us. What we’re going to do is Harry and I are going to flip the pumpkin’s lid. The lid will either have a pink or blue bow on it’s stem, handle thing. And inside will be blue or pink candies. Are we ready?” Louis’ hands shake. He looks to Harry, who is excited and nervous and chewing his fingernail. Louis pulls his fingers from his mouth, places his hand on his cheek, and stares into his eyes.
“Ready to find out what our little Jelly Bean is going to be, Hazza?”
“Never been more ready.” Harry breathes, leaning in kiss Louis. After a minute of coos, Louis pulls away. Harry is grinning, and they’re both blushing, and they place their hands on the top of the pumpkin. They both grip a side. It’s so easy to hold. They’re both shaking with excitement.
“One…” Louis counts.
“Two.” Harry breathes back.
“Three.” The top moves.
They flip it and set it back on the pumpkin. Pink. A pink bow with pink M&Ms filling the pumpkin. Pink. People cheer. Harry’s ears are buzzing. His hands are shaking. He’s crying, just like he knew he would. Louis’ eyes are wide, he’s grinning from ear to ear and his hands are on his head, wringing his hair. He can’t believe it’s really real. Harry’s in his arms before he realizes it. He hugs him so tightly, kissing his head and laughing in happiness.
“I was right. Guess I really am a baby whisperer.” Louis whispers to him and Harry laughs. He looks up at Louis with the fondest of eyes swimming in alligator happy tears. He’s never looked so beautiful and vibrant and happy.
“A girl, Lou. We’re having a baby girl. She’s going to be so beautiful. Our little baby girl.”
*
Just a few hours after the flat is cleared and it's just Harry and Louis left to celebrate their baby girl, they get the laptop up and running and pull up FaceTime to call Louis' mum. She'll want to hear the news, and she'll want a bump update as Harry's been doing one every week with her even when Louis isn't around. His chest hurts with happiness when he realizes just how much his mum adores Harry. How excited his sisters are to finally be aunties. And Ernest is happy to be called uncle.
"Well?" She says as soon as they connect to the call. She's been waiting and she's impatient and all kinds of excited. Louis grins at Harry who is staring down at the little pink bow in his hand.
"It's a good thing Louis' got plenty of sisters for hand me downs, 'cause we've got a little niece on the way." Harry says excitedly and Jay screams in excitement on the other end. All the girls come running over and Ernest perks up from where he's laying on the couch beside his mum.
"You're having a girl!" They all shout and Harry hides his face in the crook of Louis' neck.
"I can't wait to see you in person, Harry. And I can't wait to see you Jelly Bean." She coos at the tummy, poking her screen.
"I'll be huge by the time you see me." He tells her. She scoffs and grins.
"The bigger the beautiful. They're- she looks like she's growing perfectly." Harry listens to Jay and Louis gush about symptoms and signs and wives tales and just smiles from where he rests his head on Louis' shoulder.
But then he feels something. He really feels something move. It's a featherlight flutter but it's real and it's there in the pit of his belly and it moved. He gasps, touching his tummy and staring down at it with wide eyes. He covers his mouth with his other hand. Jelly Bean, is that you? He earns another flutter in response. He squeezes his eyes shut. Jelly Bean is moving and he can feel it. He can feel his baby moving.
"Louis." Jay warns, nodding her head to Harry from the screen. Louis stops talking about how Niall had set up the pumpkin and freezes as soon as he turns his head because he knows.
"Lou, I think I just felt Jelly Bean move. She's moving, Louis!" He lets out a shaky laugh and kisses him.
"Flutters?" Louis asks and Harry bites his lip to keep his grin from growing. He flutters his fingers on the back of Louis’ hand as if it explains what he’s feeling.
"She's so tiny Lou, but I can feel her in there. I can feel her." He keeps saying it so excited yet so softly, as if he’ll scare her and make her stop. His eyes are wide as he touches his belly like he almost doesn't believe it. A lot of things are unbelievable to him lately. He laughs when it happens again, just a little flutter as if to say I’m here daddy. I love you.
“I feel you, Little Bean. Daddy’s got you. I’ll protect you. I love you.”
*
Harry is just five months pregnant, his belly is growing like crazy; it means he can’t sleep on his back anymore, so he’s resorted to lying on his side with a little pillow under his belly. It also makes it difficult to cuddle Louis like he loves to do. Which makes him sad because Jelly Bean gets in the way. So they’ve found that spooning works best, with Harry as the little spoon. He quite likes it because Louis will drape his arm over Harry’s side and rub soft circles into his belly, which is usually bare because Harry is like a furnace and is always hot lately.
It’s how they’re laying in bed right now, curled up in bed with the fan on them even though it’s blustery outside for November weather. Louis’ tracing soft soothing circles across Harry’s rib right by his rose tattoo and Harry is nearly asleep but he’s uncomfortable. One thing that’s gotten worse since he popped is the fact that his back was bad to begin with. The baby pressing on his bladder and putting a strain on his back hasn’t helped the situation any, but he wouldn’t trade his little Jelly Belly Bean for all the back relief in the world. She’s worth it.
Harry shifts his legs again to relieve the lower back ache, and sighs when it dwindles at the adjustment. He pats his tummy gently, and is surprised that he gets a response back. But this wasn’t just a response from inside like normal. He felt it with his hand. He felt her kick from outside. He realizes Louis’ gone still.
“Did you… you felt that?” Harry asks, and Louis sits up, pressing his hand to the middle of Harry’s belly. Harry peers over his shoulder at him, and Louis’ eyes are wide like he totally felt her.
“I- I think so. I mean… No, god yes I totally felt it. Oh my god.” Harry flips to his back. It’s not the most comfortable feeling, but his belly is on full display and Harry has to see Louis’ face because he sounds so small and fragile right now, nearly ready to cry. Louis looks at Harry with wide eyes, biting his lips and running his hand over Harry’s belly. He misses Harry’s nearly popped belly button. Harry’s silently willing Jelly Bean to move again. Come on Bean, move again for Daddy and Papa. Let Papa know you’re there. Come on. And then she kicks again, just a little one but strong, so strong and Louis jumps in surprise, like he wasn’t expecting her to do it again. Harry laughs and rubs his tummy and earns a lighter kick that he can still feel.
He feels like crying, he always does, but he doesn’t this time. This time, it’s Louis who’s crying.He leans in right close to Harry’s belly, giving it kisses and touching it. He kisses her again and Harry tears up. Damn these hormones.
“Hi baby girl. This is your Papa, your Daddy’s doing a great job keeping you safe, isn’t he?” Louis gives another kiss and holds Harry’s hand. “We can’t wait to meet you, little bean. You’re going to be spoiled rotten by so many people. And you’re going to be beautiful. It’s not too long now until we get to see you, and I love you and your Daddy so so much.” As if in response, she gives a steady kick right to Louis’ hand. He laughs and cries more, his eyes trailing up to Harry. Their smiles are lighting up the dimly lit room. Harry wipes at Louis’ tears and kisses him so hard he can’t breathe.
“We love you too, Papa. We love you too.”
*
“What the bloody fuck are you doing?” Louis asks from the doorway of the spare room. Harry’s sitting in the middle of the room, man bun game strong and his headband keeping everything back, and he’s in a super tight tank top that hardly covers his belly any more and a little pair of shorts. He looks ridiculously cute, as he sits cross legged on a yoga mat and grinning up at Louis.
“Baby yoga.” Harry says simply.
“We totally need to find you a class.” Louis says back and Harry’s eyes light up.
“Good idea. We need to look at birthing classes too. And maybe a parenting course?” Harry rambles and Louis freezes.
“H, I think you forget that I’m a midwife.” Harry blushes.
“But it’s different when it’s your own baby coming into the world and not just someone you’re assisting. You aren’t going to be down there when it happens, are you?” Harry asks and begins to move to another pose.
“I’m going to be right by your side baby, letting you kill my hand while you’re screaming at the top of your voice and telling me you hate me.” Harry grins at him and squats until the back of his thighs are flat against his calves. His feet are flat on the floor but his legs are spread so far apart Louis flies toward him.
“Oh my god, is this even a move? It shouldn’t be a move, god.” He’s holding Harry’s bump with him, but Harry has perfect balance with this, and he just smiles at Louis.
“It’s safe. I’m good.”
“How are you balanced at this, but you can hardly walk in a straight line without falling over?” Harry shoves Louis back, so he falls on his bum.
Louis frowns at him, sits cross legged, and then tries to mimic Harry’s moves. Harry laughs and shifts to his knees, leaning down on his elbows and bending his back to stretch it out like a cat would before pulling up on hands and knees, lifting his left leg and right arm. His body is straight and doesn’t wobble and Louis grows frustrated quickly when he wobbles. He rolls his eyes, goes and sits against the wall beside the door and watches on as Harry switches legs and arms and grins at him fondly.
“You’re ridiculous.” Louis says, glancing at his watch. When his eyes flicker back up, his stomach drops and he quickly stands.
“H, is that even safe? Are you okay? Why the fuck are you upside down?” Louis is staring at Harry who is currently doing a semi handstand, but instead of balancing on his hands, he’s balancing on his forearms. He looks completely at ease, and he’s actually trying not to laugh at Louis who is freaking out.
“I did a lot of yoga before I got pregnant Louis. I guess I never got to tell you that. I’ve researched pregnant yoga, it’s all safe. I promise I wouldn’t do it if I thought it would hurt Jelly Bean.”
“You did yoga. How did I not know this?”
“I did it while you were at work mostly… but yeah.” He pulls himself down out of the headstand and goes into a bridge like pose. Louis rolls his eyes.
“We have to leave in half an hour, if you want a shower.” Louis reminds him, and Harry turns to look at him. He’s beaming.
“Right.” He stands, rolls out his shoulders, shakes out his legs, and then throws himself around Louis as best he can with the belly in the way. Louis loves the way it feels to be pressed against Harry’s belly. Harry’s belly button popped just last week and it’s so cute and funny to touch and Louis totally wants to be a child and colour it to turn it into a giant nipple, but Harry’s not having it and doesn’t find it as funny as Louis does.
Harry goes past Louis, giving him a kiss and then goes into the bathroom for his shower, and Louis tries not to imagine him naked because he’ll want to go join him and now is not the time. Later though, that seems like a promising time. He goes to the living room and picks up Harry’s endless supply of baby magazines spewed across the couch and coffee table, fashion mags and baby furniture and all things baby.
He flips through a furniture one, and frowns at all the nursery set ups. They’re always so gender norm, bright blues and pinks and purples. Louis’ never been one to support that, because he always liked the idea of his own nursery back home that he and all his sisters and brother have lived in as their own. A nice yellow gender neutral room with grey curtains and animals all over the walls. But Louis doesn’t want their baby’s nursery to be that either. He wants something unique, something that he hasn’t seen a hundred times over in baby magazines. Something very them. Something that she will love and grow into.
Harry comes out of the shower in just a towel, and Louis bites his lip. Harry’s frozen where he’s standing, looking at Louis still in his pyjamas and he bites his lip too but he’s trying not to smile.
“Why are you looking at me like you want to jump my bones?” Harry asks with a laugh to his voice. Louis groans.
“Because I’m trying not to tackle your pregnant ass and shag the fuck out of you. Your fragile and beautiful and for some reason I’m horny like a sixteen year old.” Louis adjusts his pants to make a point.
“I wouldn’t object to shagging before we go. I’m always game. Jelly Bean’s giving me all these hormones, you’d be surprised how much I wank in the shower. At least twice each time.” Louis groans, shoving Harry gently into their bedroom, onto their bed with a soft oof and kissing him before he knows what to do with himself. Louis’ rutting against Harry’s soft thigh, and Harry is whining against Louis’ lips.
“Want you… but…” Louis pauses. Harry sounds winded. He immediately stops and pulls back. Harry is fluttering his eyelashes up at Louis.
“I can’t lay on my back. Jelly Bean is giving me a hard enough time as it is with it. Thought I could ride you.” Harry’s fingers idly play with the elastic band on Louis’ pants. Louis groans.
“Please, babe.” Harry’s eyes light up and darken at the same time, pupils blown and biting his lip.
“Is that… is that you begging me?” Harry teases lightly and Louis laughs when Harry quickly flips them. He gasps at the movement, laughing at himself and touching his belly.
“For some reason I forget I can’t move as fast with her as I could before… Slow and steady, I guess.” Louis stares up at him. Harry straddles him, the towel around his waist gone. Louis watches as Harry takes his cock in his hand. They move quickly and it’s not long before Louis is inside Harry, begging him to move.
“I quite like this. I see why you love being in control.” Harry says, taking his time to rise up on his knees, Louis almost completely out of him before lowering himself back down just as slowly and swiveling his hips. When Louis grabs for him Harry pins him with a laugh and a kiss to quiet Louis’ whine.
“‘d think you’re the one pregnant or something.” Harry teases and lifts again, coming back down to meet Louis’ hips. Louis closes his eyes, humming as Harry takes him, letting him do as he pleases. But then his hands are free, and instead of moving to Harry’s hips to make him move faster god damn it, they instinctively go to Harry’s belly hovering between them. Harry leans back, resting against Louis’ bent knees and sighs as he fucks himself down again.
“God.” He speeds up, and Louis watches him. He’s so beautiful, pregnant and beautiful. Hair so long lately and silky and curly, always so curly. His lips are bright pink from being kissed and bitten, and his eyes are so bright. His skin is dewy, a pregnant glow to him. His face is fuller, and always rosey pink. He’s beautiful, effortlessly beautiful, and he’s all Louis. Louis grabs his hips, holds them still, and thrusts up into him hard. It makes Harry whine and arch his back.
“We’ve still got it, babe.” Louis jokes and Harry cries when Louis hits his prostate. Harry starts to get winded, so Louis slows his thrusts and lets Harry fold himself over to kiss Louis. Shallowly thrusting but always hitting his prostate. Harry cries into the kiss and cums without warning. Louis thrusts only a few more times before he cums too. Harry rolls off of Louis and onto his side, catching his breath and grinning.
“Pregnant sex isn’t too terrible.” Louis laughs, kissing his face. His eyes fall to their duffel bags by the bedroom door. He sighs.
“Reckon we should really get ready to get on the road, don’t you?” Harry grins, eyes sparkling.
“Maybe just one more time? For the road?” Louis groans but he grins.
“Insatiable.” Louis teases. Harry nods and laughs.
“And pregnant. Not to bad of a combo if I do say so myself.”
*
They’re on the road only an hour after they were supposed to be, and they make it to Doncaster by dinner time. They could’ve taken the train to Donny, but it was so much simpler to drive because they were going to be here for a week until Christmas before spending a week at Harry’s mums house in Holmes Chapel. And if they hadn’t brought the car, they wouldn’t have had a way to get to Anne’s house.
As soon as the car is in the driveway of Jay’s house, two little masses run from the house to Louis and Harry who are getting out of the car. Two taller masses run just as fast to them and tackle their big brother. Two other people stand on the front porch.
“Louis, Boo Bear!” He hears choruses of the names, and he turns his head to see his mum standing at the front door with Fizzy and Lottie.
He tries to stand up with both sets of twins on him, and they finally clear when he tells them he’ll tickle them if they don’t get off. Harry watches on from where he leans against the car, looking cute as ever. Louis walks over to him and takes his hand, before leading him over to the clan of Tomlinsons.
“Hi Harry!” Ernest says from the the height of Harry’s knee, and Harry grins down at him.
“Hi Ernest!” He says back just as excited. All the girls hug him, and then all go inside, but Jay’s the last to see him. She immediately takes him in and hugs him tightly.
“Oh you make my boy so happy.” She coos to him and he looks to Louis, who’s watching the embrace fondly.
“Look at you. You’re huge!” She shouts happily, Harry laughs when she pokes his belly before touching it. And as if she knew this was her cue to say hello, Jelly Bean gives one mighty kick right to Jay’s hand. She gasps and laughs.
“She’s going to be a footie player, no doubt!” Louis throws a fist in the air like he’s counting on it.
They enter the house and everything settles in like they hadn’t just met for the first time. Everything just clicks. The little twins, just barely five years old are sitting on either side of Harry with their hands on his tummy, waiting for Jelly Bean to kick. The older girls are on their phones and watching the twins with a knowing smile, remembering how it felt to be excited about a baby in a belly kicking. Lottie’s working on a project but she keeps smiling over at Harry. Louis goes and collects the bags from the car and takes it upstairs to the guest bedroom where they’ll be sleeping. Part of him wishes he could’ve shown Harry his childhood room, but that had long since been taken over by the older twins and painted over the blue walls with vibrant pinks and purples and blues.
When he comes back down Harry’s got one hand on each twins back, rubbing soft circles and resting his head back against the couch. Louis can tell he probably isn’t comfortable but he is at the same time. His feet are swollen, and Louis gestures for him to put them up on the table but Harry simply shakes his head and refuses. He’s sure Harry’s back hurts, but Harry doesn’t show any signs of planning to move. Each twin has their head on Harry’s lap, an ear pressed to the belly like they can hear Jelly Bean. But their faces are soft and pliant, both ready to fall asleep. Ernest's got his thumb in his mouth and Doris is yawning and rubbing at her eyes. And Harry is resting his eyes too. The twins are out in minutes. Harry shortly behind them. Louis raises Harry's feet up onto the coffee table on a pillow and doesn't receive protests from the sleeping boy.
Then Louis turns to the kitchen, his mum stands by the kitchen table with her hand on her mouth, eyes watering and looking at Louis. She’s smiling and he can’t help but smile back.
“I can't believe it. My first grandbaby is in his belly. He wears pregnancy well." She says and Louis looks over to him. He's so beautiful even asleep. His belly is getting bigger and bigger. Only three months and they're little Jelly Bean will be here in their arms. He can't wait.
"He does." Louis concours. He follows Jay into the kitchen.
"Why do I feel like a motherly advice talk is coming." Louis states and Jay blushes.
"It wasn't so much as advice.... He's quite something, isn't he?" She says as she rinses veggies for dinner. Louis smiles.
"He's the best thing that's happened to me since I graduated and got accepted at the hospital."
"You planning something?" She asks, wiggling her fingers suggestively. Louis presses his lips together.
"The thought’s crossed my mind. But what with the baby and all, I just want to wait for the right time."
"Hard to believe my oldest baby is having a baby of his own and he's found the one. I'm so proud of you." She brushes his hair off his face and he grins at her, kissing her cheek.
"Louis?" Harry calls and Louis frowns. His mums face turns down too. The call didn't sound happy. It almost sounded worried. Louis quickly goes into the living room. Harry hasn't moved anything but his hands, lightly touching Jelly Bean. Louis stomach flips.
"What is it, love?" He asks calmly though he feels anything but calm.
"It's. I felt really winded for no reason. And then Jelly Bean kicked or- or something but my stomach just felt like it was frozen solid. Rock hard. It frightened me is all. I- is that what a Braxton Hicks contraction is?" Louis physically lets out a sigh of relief and touches his baby. She gives a steady thump like she knows it's her Papa checking in on her.
"Yeah H, that's a BH. They'll become more frequent now." Harry nods, rubbing his eye and yawning. Jay looks at Louis.
"I'm going to carry the twins up to their room for a nap. Should we go take one too? Seems like that's what we're all doing." Louis nods his head to Phoebe and Daisy who are sleeping on the other couch, phones in hand. Harry yawns and nods. Louis grabs Ernest first and then swings Doris gently onto his shoulder and Harry follows him up the stairs. He watches Louis tuck the kids in and then follows him into the room, curls up on the comfy bed clutching Jelly Bean and letting Louis cuddle into him.
"I love you." Harry murmurs softly and Louis runs his fingers through his hair.
"Love you too, H." He kisses the back of his head and grimaces when he his a snarl in his hair.
"You should get the girls to plait this later." Harry hums but he's already half asleep and Louis just lets his eyes closed and together they have a family nap, because they can.
Harry wakes up to soft breaths on his belly. His eyes flutter open and his hand instinctively touches Jelly Bean, and it brushes a soft shaven face. He looks down at Louis, who’s talking to Jelly Bean softly and smiling up at Harry.
“I was waiting for you to wake up. She started kicking, so I started talking to her. She really loves you.” Louis says and Harry hums and stretches, wincing when his back pops and cracks and then sighs. Louis watches him, and then he slinks off the bed, pulling down his shirt. He scratches the back of his neck and holds up one finger.
“Stay right here.”
He leaves the bedroom and Harry knits his eyebrows in confusion, but stays on the bed like he’s told. When Louis comes back in the room he’s smiling. He gestures his hand out for Harry, and Harry takes his hand happily. And then he follows him. He thinks they’re going downstairs, but they turn and go down the hall instead.
“What are we doing?”
“Spoiling you.” Louis says simply. Harry doesn’t understand completely, but he’s definitely surprised when they go into Jay and Dan’s bedroom, past their giant bed and into an en suite. He hears water running, and turns his head to see a giant bathtub filling with bubbles. Harry can’t help but grin.
“Really?” He says and Louis shrugs.
“It’s not as hot as you like baths to be because that’s not safe for Jelly Bean. And you can’t turn on the jets too high because it’s not good either. But I thought it’d be nice to sit in a tub that will actually cover your entire legs and Jelly Bean and maybe help your back. I thought I could join you. We still have an hour until dinner.” Harry hums and touches Jelly Bean. She kicks him happily.
“You get undressed then. But Jelly Bean is kicking my bladder something awful and I gotta pee.” Harry says and unabashedly he goes with Louis still in the room. Louis doesn’t even seem to mind. Maybe they really are becoming super domestic. Jelly Bean has changed them. He likes the new them.
“Let’s get you naked, mister.” Louis says from behind Harry, coming up behind him starkers and hugging him from behind, touching their baby. Harry leans his head back on Louis’ shoulder, he can’t stop the small smile that creeps up on his face.
“I’ve never been so happy.” Harry whispers, and Louis kisses his neck gently.
“I could say the same. You make the me the happiest me I’ve ever been, H. I’ll never be able to thank you for that.” Harry lets out a shiver, but Louis can practically feel him beaming.
“You’re so beautiful, H.” Louis says and Harry makes a high pitched sound as Louis nips at his earlobe. Louis turns them to the mirror, and takes Harry’s shirt off. His boxers are already on the floor. Louis kisses his neck again and Harry meets his eyes in the mirror. Louis touches his belly so delicately, Harry’s belly shudders from feeling tickled, and then Jelly Bean gives a kick making them both laugh.
“Yes baby girl, you’re beautiful too.” Louis coos to the belly and Harry can’t stop smiling. His cheeks constantly ache from being so happy and always smiling.
They get into the bath and Harry groans when he hits the water and lays back, relishing in being able to stretch his legs out completely and not bunched up like in their tub at home. He presses his back against Louis, loving how the water is lapping over Jelly Bean and not leaving her cold. He closes his eyes and leans back on Louis, who runs a soft sponge across Harry’s chest gently. The bubbles cover them and it feels so nice. Harry rubs soft circles on Jelly Bean, smiling when she kicks him back. It’s not always something to smile about. Sometimes she kicks him really hard and leaves him winded, and he knows it’s only three more months before she wont be in there. She’ll be in his arms, and crying, and beautiful.
“Can’t believe we get to see Jelly Bean in three months. I can’t believe it’s been six months with her in there. She was just a little blip, a little bean. And now look at her.” Harry thinks out loud and Louis’ hand touches his belly. Always. Always touching the belly. He can’t stop. Harry’s always touching it too, out of habit and without even realizing he’s doing it. It’s too perfect, just the right size round and holding their baby nice and safe. Louis kisses Harry’s cheek softly.
“If you turn around and face me we can put the jets on a little.” Harry slowly turns, holding Bean as he goes, resting his back in the other pocket of the triangular tub. Louis clicks on the jets at the lowest setting and the moment they hit Harry’s back, he shivers and sighs and groans all at the same time and smiles at Louis.
“You’re the bestest.” Harry says and rests his head against the back of the bath. Louis grins back at him.
“You’re the one growing a baby, I think you’re the bestest.” Harry nods.
“I am pretty amazing, aren’t I?” Louis rolls his eyes but the smile he receives from Harry fond. He loves this. He loves her and he loves him so so much. And he really can’t believe his luck.
*
It’s two days before Christmas, a day before Louis’ birthday, and Harry and Lottie are out at the local shopping centre trying to find him a gift. They already got all the girls their Christmas gifts in London, and Harry’s gotten Christmas gifts for him, but he hasn’t had the chance to get Louis anything for his birthday, and it’s a whole other thing to buy for. Last year Harry had taken him to dinner, and then to his surprise he took him to the tattoo shop where they got the matching boat and compass tattoos they’d been talking about. And for Harry’s birthday they got the matching rope and anchor tattoos. And Valentine’s Day they got an anatomical heart and arrow. And Harry may or may not have surprised Louis on their anniversary with his swallows on his collarbones. And maybe a week later Louis got a fat bird on his arm for the hell of it. But this holiday they couldn’t get tattoos because of Jelly Bean. Tattoos could wait.
“I have no idea what to get him.” Harry says softly to Lottie who is sniffling colognes. Harry’s trying not to breathe it in, he’s very sensitive to smells with Jelly Bean, and this is no exception. Lottie sets the bottle down on the perfume stand, noticing Harry’s scrunched nose and they carry on through the centre.
“Usually we just give him a card with our signatures and a gift card of some sort.” Lottie admits, and Harry shakes his head. He doesn’t want to be impersonal. He’s always loved to personalize things. When he spots a craft store, his eyes light up. Maybe he could make him something. Harry was a firm believer in the DIY gifts. Lottie could sense him drifting so she took his hand and drags him to the store with a smile.
“You really love my brother.” She says as they walk down the flower aisle. Harry scrunches his nose up at the massive flowers, touching their plastic stems.
“Very much.” Lottie turns to him, eyeing him curiously.
“Do you think you’d marry him?” Harry smiles and his heart skips a beat.
“In a heartbeat, if he asked me.” He tells her and means it with everything he has. He would marry Louis as soon as he asked. And maybe it was dumb, maybe he should be the one to ask Louis, but Harry has always wanted to be the one to be proposed to because he loves the idea of it, seeing someone on their knee asking to spend the rest of their lives together because they love them that much. He’s a hopeless romantic and it shows.
He picks up a mason jar and nods to himself, putting three in his cart beside the kiss and heart stickers and cardstock. He also finds some sticker labels in cute shapes to write on. He thinks they will work nice with the jars.
“I reckon I can get Louis out of the house for a while so you can do your crafting. If you want.” Harry looks at her with a thankful face. He’d love that really so he wouldn’t have to hide what he’s doing. He’s throwing things in the cart, and then he passes by an aisle and something catches his eye, making his heart thump heavily and a smile come to his face.
“Do you guys have a printer I could use?”
“Of course. You really don’t have to ask…” Her eyes follow his stare and she smiles, resting her chin on his shoulder. “You gonna get it?” She asks softly.
“It’s perfect.”
*
Louis’ birthday has been his best one yet. They’ve spent the day playing board games and watching movies, his family has thoroughly embarrassed him and made it abundantly clear to Harry that Louis is ridiculously in love with him, as if that wasn’t obvious before. After their pizza and chinese takeaway dinner (a Tomlinson Christmas Eve tradition) they all gather in the living room, piling on couches and the floor to watch the classic Rudolph movie that airs every year on telly. Harry is lying on the floor with his head in Louis’ lap to stretch out his aching back, and he’s smiling up at Louis.
“The anatomy scan went well, mum. She’s beautiful and healthy.” Louis responds to his mum who asks about Jelly Bean. Again. He runs his fingers through Harry’s curls. Harry’s face changes from a smile to a disgruntled face.
“BH?” Harry nods, rubbing his tummy as a Braxton Hicks contraction happens. He hates them, they’re uncomfortable, make him want to pee his pants, and he just wishes he could have Jelly Bean hiccuping 24/7 instead of these. Her hiccups are cute, jiggling his belly and of course making him feel the need to pee, but they’re nothing compared to the fake contractions of hell. It passes, and he gets what he asks for; Jelly Bean has got the hiccups. He laughs and covers his eyes.
“Of course. I beg for the stupid fake contraction to go away and beg for her hiccuping, and that’s exactly what I get. Now I have to pee, again. Thanks Jelly Bean.” He pats her gently and she kicks him in the ribs for it, and he groans but he’s smiling.
Louis helps him up to his feet, and Harry leaves to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back he’s carrying presents. The twin girls gasp, remembering it’s Louis’ birthday and run to grab their presents for their brother. Ernest and Doris were quiet on the couch until they remember they get to open a gift tonight. And Harry blushes and gives Jay a apologetic look even though she’s beaming as her kids sit in a semi circle around the couch, waiting patiently with birthday gifts for Louis and waiting for their traditional pre Christmas gift.
“Before we open gifts… Lou I have… can you…” Harry sits between Louis’ legs, opens his legs in a open sitting position and leans forward as far as he can with Jelly Bean. Louis knows that his back is killing him, so he slowly runs his hands up and down his back, Harry sighs and after a minute he sits back up, rolling his shoulders. Louis rubs those too. He then turns, resting his back against the couch, and sits beside Louis instead of lounging on him. He then puts the presents in Louis’ birthday circle.
“You can open the others first, if you want.” Harry says and Louis smiles at him.
He opens Daisy and Phoebe’s gifts first, one got him comic books and one got him a SpiderMan mug with a box of Yorkshire tea. Then he opens Fizzy’s, an IOU for something that was in the mail that hadn’t come in yet. He laughs and says he loves it and she grins at him. He then opens the tiny package from his mum and Dan and the little twins, a card with money in it and a book called ‘So You're A Midwife With One On The Way’. It makes him laugh because it’s the book he bought his mum when she was having Fizzy so many years ago. It even has the little blue finger print from Fizzy just three months after when they were creating an art project with paint. His mum had simply said he needed it more than her right now. And Lottie’s is the last of the siblings to be opened, a simple grey tee shirt that has Papa Smurf on the front with the words ‘Papa Knows Best!’ on it. The gesture makes his heart swoop. The baby in the belly of the boy he loves will one day call him Papa. He can’t stop smiling.
“Hear that Jelly Bean? Papa always knows best.” She kicks Harry in the ribs at that. Harry pouts at Louis.
“She says that’s a lie. Daddy knows best.” She gives another swift, hard kick. He wheezes. “Okay… Jelly Bean knows best?” She gives a gentle kick this time and it makes Harry guffaw.
“Oh you’re going to be a feisty one, I can see.” Harry pats his tummy and then pushes forward the box wrapped in cute Christmas candy cane paper with a big red bow on it. The tag reads ‘To Lou; Love Always, H’ and Louis looks up at Harry who watches him with big eyes.
Louis carefully unwraps the paper, and opens the box beneath. Inside are three wrapped cylinder things and something under it. He opens the first cylinder; it’s full of Reese’s pieces, and the top label says ‘I love you to pieces’. Louis rolls his eyes. Harry grins. Louis smiles fondly. He opens the second and third ones; one’s filled with Haribo gummy bears with the pun ‘life without you would be un-bear-able’, and the other has hot cinnamon candies with ‘you’re one hot tamale’. They make Louis belly laugh, he opens he gummy bears and eats a few quickly. Harry bites his lip but his grin shines through.
“Typical you, always punning me.”
“And you’re always bunning me. Bun in the oven, get it?” Harry jiggles Jelly Bean and laughs when she gives him a heady kick. Louis groans.
“I’m opening my other present now.” Louis says in a fond and mock offended tone that makes Harry laugh. He lifts the other present. It feels slightly confused. He then tears the paper.
“Oh.” Louis’ voice is soft.
It’s a photo scrapbook. It’s bigger than a normal book but not an overly big one. The front of it is a soft brown leather and embossed on it is the words ‘Our Adventure Book’. It reminds him of the book from Up, and maybe that was what Harry was going for. Louis’ hand touches the cover, biting his lip and flipping the cover open to the first page. He’s surprised to find that it’s not just a random picture. Instead, it’s a tiny little note written on the page of the scrapbook in big letters.
Wherever the adventure takes us, I’m so glad I get to spend it with you. I love you. - H xx
“Oh, H. God.” Louis whispers, trying to hold it together instead of being a big mush ball.
He flips the page. A picture of the A&E bed with Harry lounging on it, grinning at the camera. ‘The place we met’ written under it makes Louis laugh. It’s followed by a picture of the hill. ‘Our first date’. Among that is other firsts, first meals, first kiss, first selfies together, and then pictures of their flat. Our first home. Louis sort of loses it then. Pictures of them on their trip to Paris because it was a date Harry had promised him and Harry was celebrating his promotion. All these pictures were surrounded by stickers and puns in Harry’s handwriting. The stickers and puns in no way lessened the heavy lump Louis felt in his chest. He can’t stop smiling as he flips through it.
The pictures grow more recent. There’s a picture of them from June, the month when their lives changed. A picture of Harry by the pool with Louis draped over him like a koala. They look so happy. Then there’s a polaroid of Louis sleeping in their bed, all snuggly and soft and pliant and letting Harry kiss him and snap millions instapix of him. The next page hits Louis like a wave. Titled, ‘The best thing that ever happened’, there’s a lone ultrasound photo, the very first one ever taken of Jelly Bean. Following that are six polaroids labelled Month 1 through 6, documenting the growth of Harry’s belly. All side shots, all beautiful. There was room for four more pictures. Three belly shots, Months 7 through 9 that were to come, and the final picture Louis assumed would be the photo of Harry holding Jelly Bean.
A sticky note sits on the next page, with Harry’s writing on it again.
‘Now it’s your turn. Document our adventure. Let’s see where we’ll go together.’
He doesn’t realize just how affected he is by the book until he’s tackling Harry (gently) in a hug, crying into his shoulder.
“I love it, you oaf. I totally want to fill it with photos of Jelly Bean. And the pictures we take with Perrie. God, you’ve turned me into such a sap. I love you.” Harry laughs and kisses him.
“I love you too, sap. Just wait until you see what I got you for Christmas.” Louis sighs and kisses Harry again.
“You didn’t have to get me anything… You and Jelly Bean are all I need.”
“Do you guys even know what you’re going to call her? All I ever hear you call her is Jelly Bean.” Harry blushes and Louis just freezes.
“We haven’t even talked baby names to be honest. We’ve always just thought Jelly Bean.”
“Well you can’t call her Jelly Bean! Good heavens.” Jay laughs.
“Alright girls, and Ernie, you may get your one present and open them now.” They dispersed and Louis eyed Ernest going near the right side of the tree.
“Hey Ernie?” The little boy turns, eyes wide and looking at who called him. He smiles at Louis. “Can you bring me those two presents, right there by your feet?” Ernest happily picks up the two gifts and brings them to his brother, laughing at the hug and thank you he receives. Louis then turns to Harry.
“I can’t wait any longer, so you’re opening your big present tonight.” Harry can’t stop smiling. It’s neatly wrapped for one.
“You so didn’t wrap this. It’s too neat.” Louis scowls at Harry.
“Oi, don’t you judge my wrapping skills. You love them. Now open it.” Harry looks at the tag, his heart swoops. ‘To Daddy, Love Papa and Jelly Bean’. He can’t stop grinning now. His face hurts as he tears the paper and looks at the box that is obviously meant to hold jewelry. Harry’s hands shake as he flips up the box lid. He wants to start crying.
“Oh, Louis.”
Inside the very wide jewelry box is three gold bracelets. The two on the outside are obviously for him and Louis, with bird pendants woven into the chain. Just dainty little birds, but bigger than the little little bird on the third bracelet specifically for Jelly Bean. Harry touches them gently. He beams up at Louis.
“Her’s is adjustable to grow with her wrist. So it may start out as a little tiny chain, but as she grows the chain links can be added so it’ll fit her. And I thought since you and I have our tattoos, we’d need something matching with Bean.” Louis reaches for the box, pulling one bracelet out for Harry. Then Harry puts the other on Louis.
“In just a few short months, our little girl will be wearing one too. Our little family will match.” Louis says softly, touching Harry’s wrist gently.
“It’s perfect.”
*
At 32 weeks pregnant (7.5 months), Harry is growing tired. He wouldn’t trade it for the world, but he really wishes he could get more than a couple hours sleep before he has to move again because his back is killing him, or Jelly Bean’s kicking him, or a Braxton Hicks contraction is taking his breath away, or even to get up to pee. No matter what he does he’s uncomfortable, and he’s sure he’s driving Louis crazy with all the moving he’s doing at night, and when he’s sitting. And the fact that sometimes he literally can’t get himself up out of bed anymore. Which is why Louis’ had to take later shifts to make sure he can be there for Harry.
Louis’ been working more lately so that he can be with Harry for as long as he needs him after Jelly Bean is born. They’re putting aside paychecks for bills and baby things. And that’s what Harry’s been doing a lot of. Baby shopping. Or rather, registry making. They’re planning to have a pre-baby baby shower, and their registry is full of things they want to get themselves for Jelly Bean, and things others could buy for them as gifts at the shower. Harry’s gone a bit wild with clothing from Carters and Babies R Us and really Louis thinks he likes shopping for Jelly Bean more than he does himself. He’s sure she’ll be the most stylish newborn they’ll ever meet.
Today, Louis gets off work early and walks down the late January snow covered streets to meet Harry at Baby and Bump; they’re going to decide on a nursery theme today if it kills them. And furniture to fit that theme that they’ll be buying themselves. Except for the crib. Louis’ mum had called him this morning and had been very adamant that she was going to be the one to purchase the crib, so they’d be billing his mum that cost. So when Louis goes into the store, Harry is already there with his feet up on a stool in a comfy looking chair. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Louis has seen Harry in over a month.
“I assume you want it?” Louis says and Harry opens his eyes. He grins at him.
“I wouldn’t oppose to getting one to match the nursery. It is lovely, and it rocks, look.” Harry starts rocking the chair.
“You want it in red?” Louis questions and Harry bites his lip.
“Well, if it’ll match the nursery. The lady here says she can show us around their concept nurseries, to give an idea of what we want.” Louis helps Harry up and together they go find the woman Harry mentioned, and they begin looking around the concept nurseries.
But Louis can’t help but feel a little bored. They’re all too plain, a lot of them are gender bias and they agreed on gender neutral, and they all look like they’ve been done a hundred times over. A jungle themed one. A pretty pink one for girls. A dark blue one for boys A yellow one just like the one Louis had. But then from the corner of his eye, Louis spots one. He comes to a full stop, and he tugs on Harry’s elbow. Harry turns, the woman’s gaze turns, and she grins when she sees that they’re both looking at one. She leads them over to it. Louis can’t stop staring at it. Harry is grinning. It’s so them, they know it’s the one right away.
The wall is divided by two, the top half is a wavy pattern of a soft teal blue colour and white. It’s like a chevron pattern, but instead of harsh triangle cuts it’s soft and loopy semi circles. It looks like waves. Just under the middle of the wall is a white border, sectioning off the waves from the bottom of the wall, just the simple teal colour without any pattern. A white crib is set up in the middle of the wall with a high back and a lower front for look and flare, and the sheets in the bed are cream coloured.
“Most have walked right past this one, claiming it’s too simple for their tastes. They often go for the pink one for a girl, or the yellow. The store is pulling this set up in a few days, they’re going to be putting in another gender neutral one, but it’s hardly like this. And may I be honest, I happen to think this one just might suit your little one nicely.” She eyes their tattoos and Harry bites his lip. His eyes meet Louis’. Louis is beaming right back.
“It’s perfect. We want this set, the entire furniture set. The colour scheme. We’ll look at decorations.”
“Don’t forget that red chair.” Louis rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning.
“God forbid we forget the chair… Only the best for our little Jelly Bean.”
*
The nursery is painted and furniture is set up the following week. And Louis isn’t surprised that Harry can’t stop sitting in there, in the red chair, often times talking to Jelly Bean or singing to her. It’s where he’s most comfortable, sitting in the chair looking at the freshly painted walls, rocking in the chair and just imagining what it will be like to have their little girl in there.
Louis isn’t as worried about leaving Harry while he goes to work, because Niall and Gemma are often there to visit and spend time with him. They’re helping him in the nursery, putting little clothes away in little drawers and putting little nautical themed pictures and decor up on the walls. The only thing that hasn’t been painted on the wall by Zayn is her name; because they still haven’t decided on one yet. But when they do decide, it will be painted in a darker teal blue colour in a soft and flowing cursive font they chose at the baby store. All the other walls apart from the accent wall with her crib against it are the light teal blue colour of the waves and bottom half of the wall. It makes the room feel big like the sky, or under the sea. The nautical theme was the right choice. And they’ve added their own touches to it.
When he comes home from work, Harry’s curled up on the couch watching I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. Louis snorts when he sees what’s on the TV, a very bad portrayal of a birth with a baby who looks nearly three times it’s supposed ‘newborn’ age. Harry’s head perks up over the couch, beaming at him.
“What are you laughing at?” Harry asks and Louis shakes his head, presses a kiss to Harry’s forehead and plops down on the couch beside him. Harry curls in right away.
“I just find it funny because I know what really happens. The reenactments are just horrid. Like that baby? Is at least two months old.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“Only you would call them out on that.” He kisses Louis’ scruffy cheek. Louis scratches his cheek.
“My birthday is in two days.” Harry says as if Louis hadn’t been hearing this for weeks now. He smiles.
“Is it? I hadn’t remembered. You had a birthday last year.” Harry laughs at the Tangled reference.
“But that’s the thing about birthdays, they’re kind of an annual thing, you know?” Louis laughs and kisses Harry. He tastes like strawberry and Louis can only assume he’s been drinking strawberry infused water again and he’s grateful he got him the tumbler cup with the infuser.
“When do you think Jelly Bean’s birthday will be?” Harry asks, and Louis shrugs. His hand goes to Harry’s tummy, where Jelly Bean is moving like crazy. Louis can only imagine how much Harry’s chest is hurting. Jelly Bean is relentless.
“Seems like she’s trying to break free already.” Louis teases and Harry rolls his eyes.
“That’d be quite a birthday gift.” Louis just kisses him because he can, and then leans down and kisses his little girl. He’s never been happier, and can barely wait until she’s here with them.
*
Harry wakes to a start. Jelly Bean is kicking his bladder like crazy, and he has to pee like crazy. He slowly rolls out of bed, groans because his back is killing him, and he walks to the bathroom, holding his belly. He wants to shower, but Louis’ told him not to shower until he or someone else is in the house just to be safe. Harry thinks he’s a worry wart, but he’d hate to prove Louis right.
He’s felt pretty shit for days now, so tired and grouchy he could totally take the award for most cranky person, which was a hard award to take away from Louis on most days. He’s been feeling hot like crazy, wanting nothing more than to walk around the flat in boxers. But he can’t exactly do that with Gemma and Niall always showing up to babysit the pregnant man. He knows that the hot flashes have to do with his metabolic rate, because apparently it elevates like a bitch at this stage in pregnancy, but he hates being overheated and this is not helping him any. He just wants to lay in a pool of ice. A nice cool shower would do him wonders, considering his hair is disgusting. He should’ve showered while Louis was home last night. But he didn’t want to leave the couch, especially after he’d gotten comfy, which rarely ever fucking happened anymore. Jelly Bean growing was a lot of work.
When Gemma gets to the house with Henry at lunch time, Harry is thrilled. Henry loves to sit on his lap and touch his belly, so curious at the fact that there’s a baby in there, not that he knows that. But he squeals ‘b-b’ over and over around Harry, so maybe he might understand in his own little world. And as for Gemma, she’s rather quiet and that leads Harry to watching her. She’s changing a diaper when she smiles up at Harry. Harry can see the glimmer in her eyes and he automatically knows. He starts laughing, and so does Gemma. And then she finally says it.
“It appears that Jelly Bean is going to have a younger cousin…” Harry covers his eyes to keep from crying because it’s great news. He can’t stop laughing either because he remembers her checking when he found out he was pregnant with Jelly Bean.
“So that test when I-”
“We hadn’t exactly been trying then, but I had missed a period. I got it the day after that, go figure. But then Christmas came and well, let’s just say it was a New Years treat to wake up and take a test to find I’m pregnant. I had an ultrasound yesterday, and they reckon I’m about eight weeks… So yeah, we’ll have another baby by Christmas. Henry, are you ready for a little brother or sister?” Gemma coos to him and then gives him a raspberry to his belly, laughing when the tot cackles in baby laughter. Harry’s heart tugs at that, and he’s left a little breathless because Jelly Bean kicks him gently against his ribs. It’s the first she’s kicked all day, and she barely kicked at all last night at that. His heart gives an extra thump and he bites his nail when he realizes that. It’s unusual for her to say the least and it frightens him.
“Gem…” Gemma looks up. Her smile fades and she immediately looks worried.
“It’s just- kick counts? Jelly Bean- she hardly kicked last night and she always kicks at night. And I just got my first kick of the day, and it was hardly the Jelly Bean kick I usually get. Am I overreacting?” Gemma pushes her bangs back behind her ear, and flicks her ponytail over her shoulder.
“Maybe do your kick counts and see how long it takes to feel her do ten kicks? Your usual is ten kicks in an hour, yeah?” Harry nods. “So if you haven’t felt any kicks in 2 hours, maybe then it would be something to worry about. I had this problem with Henry too. He’d move to a position and then he’d barely move. It often freaked me out.” Harry nods again. He touches his belly, and runs a hand through his hair. He grimaces.
“Can I shower?” Gemma nods, picking up Henry and carrying him into Harry’s bedroom.
Harry goes into the en suite and gets into the bigger shower, pulls the curtain over and is immediately grateful that the water hasn’t heated up yet. It’s cool and glorious rippling down his spine and through his hair. He washes his hair slowly, the smell of apples filling his nose and nearly making him sick. His nose was still a bastard that liked to make him feel sick over his favourite thing. He touches his stomach and presses his lips together, willing the sick feeling to pass.
And then a Braxton Hicks contraction surprises him. It sneaks up like a bitch, and it leaves him breathless and he nearly slips. He grimaces, curses and supports himself against the shower wall with one hand, clutching Jelly Bean with the other and waiting for it to pass. It sucks. They’re the worst part of being pregnant. It feels like his insides are tangling and then trying to reorganize themselves, only ending in his throat with the sick feeling all over. He groans.
“H? You okay?” Gemma knocks on the door.
“Fuck BH contractions. They’re the devil!” He shouts, laughing through it. He has them really frequently now, and he knows it’s his body preparing for labour, but they suck. She laughs and then goes quiet.
“I have to pee!” She announces and then barges into the bathroom like her pregnant brother isn’t on the other side of the brown bath curtain showering. She’s peeing on the toilet and it makes Harry laugh.
“Only us.” He says, shaking his head and he hears Gemma laugh and Henry squeal.
“Oh for fucks sakes, let’s have a party in Harry’s shower time!” Harry says and immediately regrets it when Henry lets out a little ‘f-f-f’ noise like he’s trying to replicate the word. He can feel Gemma’s glare through the curtain.
“If you teach my son to swear, I will teach your daughter to fling her shit at your head.” She actually flushes the toilet on him, but Harry is smart to move to the back of the shower to avoid the super hot water. After he gets out he lays on their bed in just a towel and he sighs. Gemma lays on Louis’ side, and Henry is growing sleepy in the middle of them. Harry imagines he and Louis with Jelly Bean like this. It makes him smile.
“You thinking about you and Lou and Belly?” Gemma has a habit of calling her Belly Bean instead of Jelly Bean, and Harry rolls his eyes.
“Yeah.” He brushes his hands through Henry’s soft blond hair. He wonders if it will turn brown like his and Gemma’s did, and wonders if it’ll go curly like theirs did. He wonders what colour Jelly Bean’s hair will be. Or if it’ll be straight like Louis’ or curly like His. Will she have his eyes or Louis’ beautiful blue eyes? He hopes she looks like Louis. But no matter what, she’ll be beautiful.
“- and the Beast?” Gemma says and Harry tilts his head to her.
“What?”
“Want to watch Beauty and the Beast?”
“Hm… Maybe after a nap. Henry’s got the right idea. Let me get dressed, and the three of us can have a pregnancy nap. Good plan team.” Harry says and goes to their closet, putting on a pair of lounge pants that he cut off into shorts, and a muscle shirt. Gemma eyes his outfit with a judging glance.
“Really H? We’re not in summer.”
“I’m warm.” He whines and then lays back down and tucks his hand under Jelly Bean like he normally does. Gemma rolls her eyes.
“Right. Well pregnancy nap is probably going to last an hour tops. He refuses to sleep any longer than that. But we’ll see.” Gemma says mid yawn. But Harry’s already asleep so he doesn’t hear her.
Nap time actually lasts two hours, and it’s ended by the sound of Henry gabbering to Harry’s belly. He keeps poking her gently, cooing to her and kissing her like they taught him, and he just grins at Harry when he realizes he’s been caught. Harry just sighs and sits himself up, ruffles his hair and grimaces when his back twinges. Jelly Bean shifts, and Harry touches her gently.
“Hi baby… you okay in there?” And usually she’d respond with a kick, but he doesn’t get a response, which in all honestly terrifies him. He knows she’s probably sleeping, but he’s so used a reply he just wants to cry.
“I made grilled cheeses for supper… H?” Gemma peeks in the room and her face softens when she sees Henry kissing his tummy again. But her face still looks a little worried.
“You still hot?” She asks and he shrugs.
“Why?”
“You’re just really pink in the face.” She responds, she dips into the bathroom and comes back with Harry’s duck thermometer. He grimaces. Louis bought that as a joke until he broke the other one, Harry knew he should’ve gotten a new one without the cute little animal on it. Gemma cleans it off and then gives it to Harry to use. He puts it under his tongue even though he thinks it’s ridiculous. He’s fine.
“Beauty and the Beast with grilled cheeses. Come on preggers.” She tells him and he follows, waiting for the duck to quack to check his temp. He settles on the couch with Henry in his lap and the duck dangling out of his mouth, and it finally quacks. He takes it out of his mouth and stares at it. 100.1 degrees fahrenheit. Gemma gives him a look.
“H…” She says softly.
“Gem, is something wrong with me? With us?” He asks, touching his belly.
“I don’t know… How’re those kick counts going?”
“She moved twice while I was sleeping.” Gemma nods.
“Okay, we’ll eat and watch the movie, and then we’ll see. I don’t want anything to be wrong with you and Belly, H. We’re not going to risk it.” Harry nods, but now he’s subconsciously freaking out. He wants to go and google so many things, but he knows that will only make him worry more. So he settles in, and he sings along as Belle greets her little town.
He tries to get comfortable but there’s just no use. Jelly Bean isn’t letting him get comfy at all. All these things are making him panic, the fact that she’s not moving, the fact that he’s fevered even just slightly, the fact that his back is hurting a lot more than it normally does. And half way through the movie Harry feels like he’s gasping for breath, clutching his stomach in a really intense, really scary BH contraction. But this time doesn’t feel like the others. It’s worse. It feels like he’s being stabbed in his back, and he’s being smothered. It goes away, but he can’t help the unsettling feeling in him. He tries to stand up but his legs aren’t having it. They’re shaking. And he’s crying. And Gemma’s by his side. And Louis’ at work. And he’s fucking scared out of his wits.
“Okay H, this isn’t normal. This needs to be checked out. C’mon, we’re going to the A&E.” Harry tries, he really does, but he can’t stop crying and he can’t- he physically- can’t move. There’s no way Gemma - pregnant and carrying Henry at that- is going to be able to get him off this couch and into a car. And there’s so many things they’re not ready for.
“Niall, call Niall. He’s just- just down the street, he can help.” Harry says and cries to his belly, begging her to be okay. He checks his temp again, and it’s gone up to 101, and he’s so scared. He knows a fever isn’t good for the baby. Louis told him this once, and so did his birthing class instructor. He just cries, he’s so scared, feels like he’s gulping for air, and he’s not sure if that’s something that’s wrong with him, wrong with Jelly Bean, or just his panic.
Niall is practically busting the door down not even five minutes later, kneeling in front of Harry and begging him with blue eyes to tell him what’s happening. But Harry simply tells him to grab the bag, the hospital bag that he and Louis packed just last week. He tells Niall to grab extras of things, all while trying to get himself off the couch, even though Gemma’s telling him to wait. Niall comes out of the nursery, face red and he looks at Gemma. Gemma looks equally scared.
“My car is just downstairs. I will take Henry and the bag-”
“Gem you’re pregnant, you can’t carry that too- fuck.” Harry grips his back, wheezing.
“I’ve got the bag. Congrats, by the way. Meet you at the front door.” Niall says, and Gemma rushes out of the flat. Harry wraps his arm around Niall’s shoulders, helping him pull him up off the couch.
“I can walk… I’m not in pain, I just. Fuck Ni, what if she-”
“No. Don’t do that to yourself. She nothing. She’s going to be okay. You both are. We’re just going to have this checked out, to make sure. Okay? Positive thoughts. My little niece is a fighter, aren’t you?” Niall touches his belly, and to Harry’s surprise Jelly Bean gives a soft kick. They leave the flat in a haste, Harry waddling slowly and bravely. Niall locks up. He meets Harry in the lift.
“Niall, I’m only 7 and a half months… That’s 2 and a half months out of my due date.” Harry makes a garbled noise, his legs nearly give out and he hangs his head to catch his breath. He clings to Niall like a crutch. Niall just soothingly comforts him while trying to coax him to the car.
Harry stares straight out the window on the way to the hospital. Gemma speeds a little too fast, she nearly runs a red light, and she’s trying so hard not to cry as she switches lanes and pulls into the A&E, dropping Niall and Harry off and then going off in search of parking. They left the bag in the car, unsure of what’s going on and what’s needed, so Niall gets Harry in a wheelchair and gets him through a triage nurse who sends him back into a room right away. Immediately he’s set up on a monitoring machine, thick straps across his belly to check on the baby. Liam pulls back the curtain and gasps.
“Liam, Liam I don’t know what’s wrong with her.” Harry cries into a hug, and Liam just holds him for a moment.
“Okay H, we’ll take care of you both. We’re going to do vitals, and we’re going to do everything we can to figure out what’s going on. Zayn’s going to try and get a hold of Louis, but he told me he was working in delivery today, so I don’t know when we’ll get him. But for now, let’s look at our little girl, yeah?”
Liam gets a nurse Harry doesn’t know to run blood pressure and temp while he sets up the sonogram machine. Harry’s now at a fever of 102. He’s sweating. He’s shaking. He’s so fucking scared.
“And how are kick counts? I hear she’s a rowdy one from Lou.”
“God, she’s hardly kicked. Maybe ten times since last night.” Harry says and Liam’s eyebrows knit.
“Okay. I don’t want you to panic, H, but we’re going to send you up to mat and delivery. They’ll be able to help more than we can down here. They specialize in this. They will set you up on an IV, monitor both you and baby, and they’re going to do some assessments on baby. Certain tests to tell if something isn’t right. Okay? And in the mean time, Zayn and I will continue to get a hold of Louis, because they’re saying he’s in surgery right now with another woman who’s going through fetal distress.” Harry’s eyes widen, tears are immediate. Liam holds his hands out to comfort him. “Not that I’m saying you are, too. But, we just want to be safe with precious little Jelly Bean, we want to make sure she’s okay.”
Harry can’t stop crying. His chest hurts, Jelly Bean is sick, something is wrong. He feels like he’s going to pass out, and be sick, and he feels like he can’t breathe. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets Liam comfort her, but he hears faint noises in the distance. Like the time he went under anesthetic to have a tooth removed, and the beeping and the noises of people talking are heard, but he can’t make sense of them. Rushing air fills his nose. He feels like he can breathe a bit better. His watering eyes open. Liam. Niall. Zayn. They’re all there. Like the three friends from The Wizard of Oz that Dorothy had. He wonders who would be who.
“H, we’re going to transport you now. Just keep breathing, okay? The mask should help.” He touches his face. A mask is over his nose and mouth, sending air into his lungs.
“What’s happening?” He asks Liam as they’re brought into a lift, Harry being wheeled in the bed. They’ve got him on his left side, and Liam absentmindedly brushes back his curls for him.
“We’re going to figure it out, Harry. You’re okay.” He says, brushing his hair again.
Once the lift stops, Harry’s wheeled into a private room and transferred to a much more comfortable bed. Liam hugs him, begs Niall to tell him everything, and a bunch of nurses from the maternity floor are asking Harry all these questions, like what’s been going on, and how far along he is, if Niall is the father, and Harry tries his best to answer all the questions. How Jelly Bean hasn’t been kicking. His fever. The fact that he can’t breathe. Fuck no Niall is not the father, Louis Tomlinson: a nurse from this floor, is.
They all gasp at that, but continue to run tests Harry doesn’t understand, and the nurses faces don’t look happy with the results. They’re trying to explain it to him, but all he hears are the words ‘fetal distress’ due to ‘Harry distress’ and ‘baby’s not getting enough oxygen’ and ‘heart rate’s dropping’. He can’t breathe, even with the help of the mask. His eyes are frantic, flashing to faces he doesn’t know, and then he sees Niall, reaches for him and sobs into his shoulder. Niall just holds him and a doctor comes in to see him. Harry pulls it together, clears his face, and pushes the mask off of him. It’s not helping.
“Hi Harry, my name is Dr.Tanner. Now I know this is a scary time, and you probably don’t fully understand all that’s happening…” Harry nods.
“In simplest of terms, Harry, your baby has gone into fetal distress. It occurs commonly, actually, and in your case we think it’s been offset by your blood pressure dropping too low and the fact that you have a fever. We suspect the fever’s overheating the baby, and your body’s- and her body’s natural reaction is to distress. Sometimes in fetal distress, we can offset it with medicines and sometimes even inducing labour is needed to be done. But your heart rate, along with baby’s, keeps dropping. We want this to be as safe as we can make it for both you and baby. And that’s why we want to perform an emergency c-section. Right now.”
*
Louis is running. He’s never gotten so much exercise in years, but he’s fucking running for his life -literally- down the hallways of the mat floor to the room they told him. How could this be happening? What’s even happening? The nurses in the halls aren’t even stopping him, they all know. They all give him worried glances and watch him as he runs, red faced and so fucking scared to the very end of the hall to the room where they said he would be.
“-But your heart rate, along with baby’s, keeps dropping. We want this to be as safe as we can make it for both you and baby. And that’s why we want to perform an emergency c-section. Right now.” He throws the door open and Harry starts wailing.
“Oh god, Louis!” He throws open his arms and Louis fucking collapses, holding him so tightly he can’t breathe. “It’s okay, we’re okay, you’re going to be okay, she’s going to be okay.” He murmurs over and over.
“Hello, Louis.” Louis gives a backwards little wave of acknowledgement to Dr.Tanner.
“I’m so scared.” Harry breathes.
“I was so scared I wasn’t going to make it to the room before they took you in. I ran as soon as I found out. Baby, fuck.” Louis doesn’t even know what’s going on, but the bed is being ready to be transported to an OR and he’s breathing really heavy and Harry has a vice grip on his hand and Niall is watching on with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.
“Niall, can you go call-”
“I will. Yes. Everyone. I promise. God, H.” Niall hugs him quickly.
“I love you. You’re going to do great. I can’t wait to meet her.” Harry gives Niall a watery smile but it’s full of fear and worry. Niall gives Louis a hug before he leaves the room and the bed starts rolling. Harry makes the smallest noise Louis’ ever heard.
“Oh my god.” he keeps chanting over and over.
Harry closes his eyes and trying to breathe and Louis slips the mask down over his nose and Harry stares up at him with so much fear and Louis just wants to hold him. The fact of the matter is Louis knows he’s not going to be allowed in for the initial prep. He knows the place of the father is to stand outside the OR doors in a scrubs jumpsuit and everything. He doesn’t tell Harry this, and he stops outside the door just as they’re wheeling him in. Harry absolutely freaks.
“No! Louis! Please! You have to let him in, please!”
Louis watches the doors close, he waits for a nurse to come with the standard outfit he’ll wear instead of his scrubs. He’s panicking, but it’s all inside. He’s brave facing most of this, because he doesn’t want Harry to see him so petrified. He doesn’t want Harry to know that he knows what it’s like to see a preemie. What it’s like to hold a preemie baby so small they fit in your hand. He knows how it feels to hold a baby in your arms and know that the heart isn’t beating and the lungs aren’t breathing. And he knows how dangerous distressing is for both baby and the one carrying them. And the fact that he knows all this makes it that much more terrifying.
He can hear Harry screaming for him, and it’s like he’s being repeatedly stabbed, punched, gutted. He wants nothing more than to trade places with Harry, take away the pain and rid him of the fear and tell him that everything is going to be okay and actually mean it and not say it to give false reassurance. To his surprise, the doctor who will be doing the procedure passes him and just takes him by the shoulder and brings him in the room without scrubs, without the standard outfit and process they put everyone else through. And maybe it was because he knew the rules, knew everything and maybe too much. Maybe it was because Harry was in a lot more danger than he was thinking. Maybe they both were. His mind freezes as soon as he sees Harry.
Harry is hunched over on the table. They’re putting in the spinal block, an epidural. Harry is whimpering, his hair pushed back by one of the caps they use on long haired people but a few stray curls are let go. Louis takes his hands, and Harry’s very careful not to move.
“Louis.” He breathes. His head shifts up. Louis can see every single emotion in the depth of green, and he knows, he knows how scared Harry is. He doesn’t even have the words in him to tell Harry it’s going to be alright, because at this point he’s not really sure.
“I almost thought you wouldn’t be here. I thought maybe you’d have to stay working.” Louis kisses his hand gently. “They wouldn’t do that to us, H. They understand circumstances. And besides, I was just about to get off work anyways.”
“When you stopped at the door, God I was so scared. I am so scared. Fuck, Louis.” Louis shakes his head.
“I know you’re scared, H. I am too. We had everything planned. Everything was going so well. But we’re going to be okay. All three of us.” He tells him like he believes it. Maybe if he keeps saying it, he’ll believe it.
“When you didn’t come in right away, I panicked. I thought they would make me go it alone. I can’t- I need you.” Tears roll down his cheeks. Harry has never seemed so small, feeble, defeated. Louis kisses him, and Harry whimpers into the kiss.
“It’s only procedure rules, baby. I’m not even supposed to be in here yet. I’m supposed to be suited up like a ghost buster, but the doc let me in.”
“That can’t mean anything good.” Harry’s hand touches Jelly Bean. Louis’ hand touches Jelly Bean. This will be the last time they touch the belly before the baby. The baby is going to be here soon.
“What time is it?” Harry asks and Louis looks at the clock over on the wall. He knows this room well.
“It’s nearly midnight.” Louis tells him.
“How long was I in the A&E?” He asks. They’re laying him back on the table. Louis thinks this is good, that they’re talking, keeping their minds as calm as one can be in this situation. They’re hooking Harry up to machine’s know, inserting things that Louis knows cannot feel nice, but Harry takes it like a trooper talking to Louis to distract him.
“You were down there for at least two hours.”
“I didn’t think it was so late when we came in. We were watching Beauty and the Beast.” Harry tells him. They begin sectioning off the areas, covering Harry in blue blankets that have holes cut out, and another between his face and his tummy.
“Why is this there? I won’t be able to see?” Louis shakes his hand, brushes back the curls and little tears trickling down his face. They give Louis a stool to sit on, and he sits with H, soothing him.
“This is going to go really fast, H. After the first cut, it’ll only be like five minutes before she’s out. Our baby girl is going to be here soon.” Harry starts to cry harder. He’s trying not to move, but a hand covers his face and he presses into Louis’ shoulder and Louis just kisses him as he cries.
“I’m so sorry.” He sobs into Louis.
“H…”
“No. I failed her. I didn’t take care of her like I promised. I promised her so much, and I couldn’t even do what I promised. I’m so sorry, Lou.”
“It’s not your fault. You need to know that. Sometimes things happen, but you are not to blame. You took care of her so well, you’re amazing, H. I love you so much, she loves you so much. Please, baby.” Harry sniffles. The mask whirs air into his nose even though it’s plugged.
“Okay, Harry. We’re going to make the first cut now. You’ll feel a lot of tugging, okay?” Harry answers back and then the doctors grow quiet. A nurse is constantly watching Harry’s vitals. Louis peeks around the sheet, watching the first cut. Harry doesn’t even flinch. Louis goes back to Harry, talking to him so softly.
“She’s going to be beautiful.” Louis tells him, and Harry just sniffles.
“She doesn’t even have a name. We should’ve picked a name.” He tells Louis. Louis realizes he’s right. She doesn’t have a name yet. They didn’t decide on one. They’d just taken to calling her Jelly Bean.
“Well maybe we should talk about names-” The doctors are talking, and Louis stops mid sentence.
“Louis, now’s your chance.” The doctor says and he looks at Harry, who’s watching him with the biggest scared green eyes. Louis peeks around the sheet just in time to see his tiny precious baby come into the world.
“12:01am, February 1st. Welcome to the world, little girl!” A nurse shouts. Harry starts crying. Louis can’t stop staring. He’s seen plenty of babies born, delivered more than he could ever count, but he’s never seen one as beautiful or as precious as his.
“Happy birthday, baby.” Louis kisses Harry over and over. Harry can’t stop crying.
“Why isn’t she crying?” Harry asks as Louis wipes away his tears. He looks at Louis with stars in his eyes and a worried look, but also excited to know their baby is here.
“She’s getting ready to. Be careful what you for, Daddy!” And then the most miraculous little cry is heard, and they’re both crying so much.
“That’s our little girl, Lou.” Harry whispers in awe. Her cries are laboured, Louis can hear it, and he knows that they’ll bring her to Harry for only a moment before whisking her away.
“Oh god. She sounds like she’s beautiful.” Harry whispers. His breathing is wheezy, and Louis kisses his hands over and over.
A nurse brings over a swaddled bundle, and turns her to show him their baby. She’s still crying, weakly, but crying. Her face is pink and she’s so tiny. She looks like she might be nearly five pounds, if that. Harry reaches out to touch her. He starts shaking when he touches her warm skin and realizes that she’s actually here and she’s real and she’s an actual human being not just a Jelly Bean in his belly.
“Hi little girl. I love you so much.” Harry coos softly. His hands growing heavy, but he can’t stop touching her little face. Her little cries stop, dwindling to whimpers and then to nothing. Louis notices before the nurse holding her that her lips are turning blue.
“Fuck. Get her to NICU, now. She’s turning blue.” He’s dead serious, and the nurse rushes off with the baby before anyone else can say anything. Harry let’s out a sheer shriek of horror.
“Oh god. She’s not breathing. She’s not breathing! Louis, Louis, god-” He’s panicking, his blood pressure is skyrocketing, he’s shaking, his breathing is all but wheezes, and his eyes are sheer terror. The nurses are telling Harry to calm down, but he just keeps building himself up. Louis holds his face still.
“She’s going to be okay. They’ve taken her to the doctors who can help her.”
“Go. Go be with her. Please.” Harry wheezes out.
“H, you need to listen to me. You have to calm down.” Harry shakes his head.
“I’m okay. I’m with the doctors who can help me. Please. Go be with her.” His heart is overworking. His lips are going blue. Louis is crying.
“H, please. Breathe for me.” Harry is heaving in air. His eyes are watering.
“Go be with our girl. Please.” He begs. The nurses are about to administer drugs into his IV. He’s having a reaction. They’re going to kick him out. He shakes, kisses Harry, watches his chest heave for air.
“I love you.” Harry says softly.
“I love you.” Louis says back. Harry’s eyes are getting heavy.
“I know… I know…” He nods. His hand is losing grip on Louis’.
“And I know…. what I want to name her…”
Louis is ushered out of the room before he can beg Harry to wake up and tell him what to name their little girl. He’s so conflicted. His heart has been strewn in two giant pieces in two different areas that seem worlds apart and he’s stuck in the middle gasping for air and not knowing which piece to go to.
*
Weighing in at 4 lb, 5 oz and 18 inches long, little girl Styles is a fighter. When Louis makes it to the NICU, it’s so quiet. Just the whirring of machines for all the little babies who need the help. Some are so tiny, as little as only twenty weeks old and able to fit in the palm of your hand. And though little Jelly Bean is tiny, there are some babies who won’t make it through to the sunrise, and he’s just grateful that their little girl has a chance.
She’s in an incubator, with a little baby sized oxygen cannula taped in her nose and a little tiny IV in her arm, and little heart monitors on her chest so he can only hover over her and touch her little hand through a tiny circle window. She’s got a head full of beautiful and soft brown hair, and Louis touches it gently because he can. It brings tears to his eyes that he can’t hold her proper, but he coos to her and begs her to be alright, maybe not right away but soon because she has a very worried daddy who wants to see her very much.
“Hi little one, you’ve given me and your Daddy quite the scare. But you rest up, get big and strong. There’s someone who needs to meet you. We love you so very much.”
He apologizes for not having a name ready for her, but they weren’t exactly prepared for her to make an appearance for a while; but he promises they’ll choose something amazing. And though she can’t respond back with words, he likes to imagine that the little tiny but steady grip she keeps on his pinky tells him that she understands and that things will be okay.
“I love you, little one. You’re doing great. Papa is going to go check on Daddy, but I will be back, I promise. Miss Caroline will be here, so try not to give her a hard time. Okay, Jelly Bean?”
Louis’ tears fall then. His little girl squeezes his hand so tightly, and her little mouth opens to yawn, and she stretches. Her eyes open and look up at him. His heart pounds because he’s seen so many babies open their eyes on their first day of life outside a belly, but he didn’t think their little girl would, after having such a tough delivery. He thought she’d sleep, her eyes would stay closed. He wouldn’t see her eyes, wouldn’t see how beautiful they are. Wouldn’t see so much of himself, of Harry, in her already. But right there in front of him, he could see her, and he could see Harry, and he could see himself.
Her soft brown hair could only be Harry’s, because it almost looks like it’s curling at the end, and Louis’ hair is lighter than his and hers. Her nose is dainty and small is definitely Louis. He can’t tell who’s ears she has, because they both have fairly tiny ears. Her lips are definitely Harry, the brightest pink and no longer blue, delicate and soft looking and pursed. But her eyes, those are no doubtedly Louis. He’s swimming in a cerulean sea of blue that he sees in the mirror, that he sees when he looks at his mum, when he looks at all his siblings. But her’s are soft, delicate, just like everything about her is. They’re big and wide and round like Harry’s but the colour is all Louis. She’s beautiful, and Louis takes so many pictures of her before he leaves the room after pressing a kiss to her incubator.
Jesy directs him to the mat wing ICU where Harry’s been placed. But before he can leave, she takes his hand in hers. He looks back to her. Her face looks like she’s ready to cry for him, but Louis just hugs her, and she lets him cry on her shoulder. He grapples on the back of her shirt, and she shushes him when he lets out choked little sobs.
“How is she?” Jesy asks, and Louis pulls away, wiping his eyes.
“She’s beautiful. And she opened her eyes. I didn’t think she would...” Louis actually beams, and pulls out his phone to show his precious little girl. Jesy coos at her and beams back at him.
“She looks like you. And him, but her eyes. Wow. Are they ever you. Everyone is talking about you. About her. About him. And so many flowers from all the staff are being sent to his room. We’ve had to start putting them in the hall. Tanner says he probably won’t be awake until late in the day, or longer. He’s probably going to be in a lot of pain. They had to rub his sternum to get him breathing again after you left…” Louis’ smile diminishes.
“Also, your friends are in the hallway. They refuse to go in before you. But there’s at least five of them out there.” Louis nods, he hugs her again, and tells her thank you, for whatever reason he’s not really sure of.
He then makes his way down the hall. As promised, flowers line the hall. And Niall, Liam, Zayn, Gemma, and Henry are sitting out there. The lads have let Gemma sit on the chair with Henry in her arms, and Liam’s pacing. Zayn’s scowling at the floor. Niall’s sitting with his legs full out and back against the wall. They all jump when they see Louis.
“How is she?” They all ask, and Louis runs a hand through his hair. His lip quivers.
“She’s okay. They’ve got her on oxygen, and IV. She’s so tiny. But she’s a fighter. She opened her eyes for me.” He says with a glimmer of happiness in the mess of fear laced in his voice.
He shows them the pictures, and Gemma starts to cry. Niall is grinning, because he can’t deny how beautiful his niece is. Liam and Zayn are both very quiet. Gemma and Niall are thinking positive, but a doctor or nurse’s point of view is always worrying about what’s wrong and what they can’t fix right away.
“Both your mums are on their way. H’s mum was actually already coming in to surprise him for his birthday, so she just replaced her train ticket for the next available one. As for your mum, apparently she could sense something was wrong and was planning on driving here. But Dan bought her a train ticket once I called. He said she was in no state to drive, so she may end up on the same train as his mum.”
“We missed our FaceTime date, that’s why. God, they’re probably so worried.” He worries his lip. Gemma touches his arm.
“We all are. We have a right to be. Go see him. We’ll come in in a few minutes.” Louis nods. He steps up and pushes the door open before the words in his head tell him to turn around and let someone else go first.
It’s one thing to see someone hurt. Louis sees it all the time in the A&E, and it makes him feel sad to see someone laying in a bed in pain, and yet he feels hopeful that he can help them. But it’s a completely different scenario when you walk into the room, see the love of your life in a bed, with wires and tubes attached to him, knowing that the baby that once was in his belly is now out and in the real world and in an incubator and not here with them, it makes him feel so useless. He heaves a breath out, collapses into the chair beside him, and takes Harry’s hand in his. Harry’s eyes are closed, his face is relaxed. An oxygen cannula is in his nose, and an IV is in his arm. Monitors on either side of him. Louis rests his head on the bed. It’s an ungodly hour on the first of February. It’s Harry’s twenty sixth birthday. It’s Jelly Bean’s first day on earth. And he’s exhausted.
“H, God… I’m so scared. I went to see Jelly Bean… She’s so tiny. But she’s so beautiful, H.” Louis rubs his thumb across the back of his hand.
“And I did all the counts, ten little toes, ten little fingers, a head full of dark brown hair already, just like yours. It’s no wonder you were having so much heartburn. And you were afraid she was going to be blonde. But she looked at me today, Har. She really did. She opened her eyes. We debated so much what colour her eyes would be… She looks so much like us.”
“They’re giving her medicine, just like you. To make her strong and help her grow. And soon she’ll be able to come see you, here. She won’t be stuck in the incubator. And you’ll get to see her, and hold her. I can’t wait to see you with her. You’re going to fall in love with her all over again. And we’ll be our little family.” He kisses his hand gently.
“Where is she?” Harry’s voice comes out in a scratchy tone. It startles Louis, and Harry doesn’t open his eyes. The room is dark, but Louis can see his face. It’s calm. Louis brushes his hand through Harry’s matted hair.
“You’re awake?” Louis asks. Harry hums and nods.
“I’m sleepy, but I heard you. I wanted to wake up to hear you proper. But I’m so sleepy. Is she okay?”
“Are you in pain?” Louis asks, and Harry shakes his head.
“Why aren’t you answering me?” Harry asks with a feeble voice.
“H, she’s okay, love. She’s so amazing.” Louis says and Harry bites his lip to keep from smiling.
“They’ve got me pretty frozen. Think they added more to the spinal block. God, I’m such an idiot.” Harry covers his face with his hand. Louis sees tears trickling, and he wipes them away.
“Don’t get yourself worked up baby, you’re okay. And you’re hardly an idiot.” Harry sighs.
“I couldn’t protect her.” He swallows hard and Louis shakes his head, kissing his hand over and over.
“This wasn’t your fault. It’ll never be your fault. She’s beautiful, and she’s going to be okay. And so are you.” Harry just closes his eyes, blinking away tears.
“Is she okay?” Harry keeps asking this.
“I took some pictures.” Louis tells him, and then quickly opens them to show Harry their little girl. Harry immediately starts crying again, touching the screen but he’s beaming with pride.
“She’s so tiny. God, but she’s perfect. I love her so much, Lou. I knew it, I knew she’d have your eyes.”
“I know. I love her so much too, it’s crazy. She’s 4 lb, 5 oz. And I told you she’d have your hair.” Harry laughs softly, grimacing and touching his belly, still swollen but lacking a baby inside.
“Easy there, babe.” Harry sighs. He bites his lip.
“Did you call my mum?”
“Niall did. Both our moms are on their way, right now. They’ll be here in the morning when you wake up.”
“I take it you’re going to drug me now?” Harry teases but his eyes are growing heavy on their own accord; Louis just eyes him curiously.
“You don’t want me to hit the button?” Louis asks and Harry sighs, resting his head against his pillow.
“I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’m really tired. I just want to sleep, wake up on my birthday; even though it already is my birthday, and see my baby. Can I see her? Is that allowed?” Louis squeezes his hand.
“We’ll have to see how both of you are doing. Okay?” Harry nods.
“I’m twenty six. Fuck I’m old, Lou. You still love me right?”
“I’ll love you always, H. That’s not going to change.” Harry smiles, but it’s a sleepy smile.
“Even… Even when I’m old and grey with fifty cats and six grandkids? Wait, what? Shit, I’m out of it. I meant that in reverse.” Louis laughs, he clicks the button on the morphine drip. Harry’s eyes grow heavier, and his grip on Louis’ hand tightens. Then it loosens just a bit. Harry’s eyes are slipping shut as Louis replies to him, but he hears every word.
“I’ll love you even when you’re old and grey with fifty cats and six grandkids. Or reverse. I will always love you. Even then.”
*
When Harry wakes next, people are talking quietly in his room. His eyes flutter open and he reaches for the thing in his nose, stopping himself when he realizes why it’s there. It’s a nurse and Louis. The nurse leaves. He’s in the hospital. Everything comes back in a tidal wave, and he gets a big ball at the back of his throat that he can’t swallow. Louis notices he’s awake immediately, and he rushes to him, kissing him and willing him not to cry. The room is bright, outside looks sunny considering it’s February the first. Harry groans. His tummy hurts. His baby is missing. He holds Louis and pleads with his eyes for things he doesn’t think he’ll be allowed to have.
“They might be moving you to a normal hospital room in a day or two.” Louis says optimistically, and Harry nods, but it’s not what he’s asking for.
“Can I see her?” Is the first thing he asks. Louis gets him to sip on water because his throat is dry and scratchy again. He’s deflecting.
“It’s a no, isn’t it?” He says softly, admitting defeat.
“They said maybe. I asked. She’s had quite a night.” Louis tells him with a kiss to the forehead.
“Is she okay?” Harry asks again. Louis nods.
“Everyone is waiting to see her. They don’t want to see her before you.” Harry’s heart swells. He shakes his head.
“Are they all still here?”
“Of course we are.” Niall says as they all enter the room carrying balloons and stuffed animals of all sorts. Liam and Zayn follow, and then his mum is through the door and hugging him so tightly his oxygen monitor beeps because he really can’t breathe. But it’s a welcoming hug.
“Hi mommy.” He breathes into her ear and she sobs into his shoulder. Gemma comes in without Henry. Harry assumes Will has come to collect him. Anne pulls back, cupping his cheeks.
“How’re you feeling, love? You okay? God, when I got the call-”
“I’m okay. I just want to see her.” Anne nods.
“They didn’t let me see Fizzy for nearly two days, so I know the struggle.” Jay adds in from where she’s sat at the end of his bed by his foot, rubbing it softly.
“That’s because they ruptured your bladder, not because you had a preemie.” Louis reminds her.
“I had preemies with the second set of twins… Doris was only 6 oz heavier than Jelly Bean.” Harry frowns down at his belly, saddened by the fact that he knows she’s not in there anymore.
“I just can’t believe you share a birthday.” Anne says and Harry can’t help himself from smiling, just a little bit.
“It’s definitely been an interesting one. Quite the birthday gift.” He says with a soft smile, laying his head back on the pillow.
“Where did you all sleep?” Harry asks.
“Against the walls.” Niall teases. Before Harry can seriously ask him the question again, Dr. Tanner walks into the room with a big smile on his face.
“Mr. Styles. I’m glad you’re awake. Happy Birthday, might I add. How’re you feeling?”
“When can I see my baby?” He blurts out, and Louis gives his shoulder a little nudge. Harry looks up at him. Serious nurse face is back.
“Okay. My stomach hurts, but I suppose that’s normal? My nose is itchy from this thing. And I have to pee.”
“You have a catheter in, H. You can totally pee in bed.” Niall supplies with a grin as if this is a grand thing, but Harry’s face goes pale. He doesn’t even want to think about taking a look under the covers now.
“We can see how you’re doing in a little bit. In the meantime, we can test your oxygen levels to see when that cannula can come off, and as for the catheter, it should be out by tomorrow, if all is well and you’re able to get up out of bed. But for now, we’d like to get you eating.”
“I just want to see her. It’s my birthday. And hers for that matter. It’s all I want. I don’t care about the other stuff. I can deal with those. But the worse thing in the world is not being able to see my baby, especially after the night I’ve had.” Harry says with a pout.
“I can see what I can do. From what I’ve heard, she’s being a great little girl in the NICU. But they might not let her leave there just yet.” Harry nods because he understands. He may not like the rules, but if it’s safer for his little girl, he can wait. He’s growing tired again, and Louis can tell.
“Perhaps we could get him eating yeah? He’s looking quite tired again.” Louis says and just as he says it, the breakfast cart knocks on the door.
Harry’s tray comes in, and to his surprise he finds the food appetizing. But soon after he’s done eating just a small amount of egg and toast, his tummy feels ill and Louis requests a nurse bring him something for it. Gemma, his mum and Jay all return to their flat for some rest, and Niall and Liam and Zayn all leave with promises to return later. And though the medicine makes him sleepy, something makes him stay awake. Louis looks tempted to press his morphine drip. Harry can’t say he isn’t tempted either.
“Okay.” Harry nods once he’s comfortable. He can feel the medicine kick in after only a few minutes, and Louis just sits with him while he drifts. His heart leaps.
“Oh! Before I go to sleep… I remember saying I had a name to tell you. I want to know what you think.” Harry says with slurs. Louis smiles at him.
“I’m all ears.” Harry’s eyes droop.
“‘m still awake. My eyes are just closed.” Harry says softly. Louis laughs.
“Better hurry, think that morphine’s gonna take you under.” He tells him and brushes his hair back, Harry’s eyes open.
“Belle. I think we should name her Belle.” Louis says the name, and it’s sweet and soft on his lips. He can’t stop grinning. Harry can tell right away that Louis loves it just as much as he does.
“Like Jelly Belle-y Bean?” Louis asks with a little laugh and Harry smiles.
“That’s one of the many reasons.”
“I’m sure you’ll tell me all of them.”
“Our little baby Belle.” Harry snorts, half asleep. Louis groans but he’s grinning.
“Of course it has to be a pun.”
“You love it.”
“I do. I love you too.”
“Tell her that I love her so much when you go see her.”
“She loves you so much, you know.” Louis tells him. Harry smiles because of course he knows.
“Love you, Lou.”
“Love you too, H. Sweet dreams.”
*
Day three in the hospital, Belle is cleared to be released from NICU. She’s improved drastically in the three days here, and they know they can keep watch on her while Harry is still in the hospital because she’ll be in the nursery. Her heart rate is normal, she’s breathing on her own and Louis likes to think it’s from the medicine he suggested they give her to help her lungs. She’s feeding well and she’s an excellent sleeper, and because he’s so quiet and actually willing to look after the other babies while nurses take breaks, they let Louis stay in the room all night with her while Harry sleeps. Louis’ been pretty sleepless lately. He can’t say the same thing for Belle and Harry though.
It’s so odd to have a name for her. He’s been so used to calling her Jelly Bean now. But Belle suits her, and they actually filled out her paperwork on day two when Harry was more alert. And as Louis had guessed, they hadn’t let Harry see Belle yet. He’s grown more and more upset by this. He’s still in the ICU, because they’re watching him and giving him breathing treatments. They think what caused Belle’s sudden arrival was the fact that Harry had caught an infection and his body realized that it was a threat that was putting H and Belle in danger, and so it caused a high fever that dropped her heart rate and then set her in distress, and then she was born.
Louis hadn’t held Belle at all yet. It was suggested that he didn’t hold her until she was strong enough to be outside the incubator and he understood that. But the anticipation was equally as bad as Harry not seeing her yet, because he can see her, and he knows she’s there and he could hold her. But he waits as patiently as he can. And today is the day. The moment his little girl is placed in his arms, he breaks down, cooing to her and kissing her, thanking her for being okay and growing strong and being beautiful and relishing in the little baby sounds she makes. She’s biting on a fist, and she’s still only wearing a diaper. And Louis’ going to hold her for a little while longer because he can, and then he’s going to dress her in the cutest little outfit he can. Her big blue eyes are open and alert, and all the nurses have gathered to see their fellow nurse with his baby. It’s a beautiful moment for them all.
Harry’s worried. He doesn’t know what’s taking Louis so long, he said he was going to go check on Belle quickly and then return to the room. But it’s been over an hour, and it makes him wonder if something wrong. He’s about to page Jesy at the front desk, when he looks up to the door. There is Louis. And he’s pushing a baby cot. And there’s a baby in the bed. And that means his Belle is here. And she’s been released from the NICU. She’s really okay. And she’s here. And he’s going to get to hold her. Finally. Harry starts crying immediately.
“Oh my god. You lied.” He says softly with a smile to his face it’s full of excitement. Louis laughs, and the door swings shut behind him, and he pushes the cot over right beside Harry’s bed. Harry’s eyes stay shut. He can’t believe when he opens his eyes he will be seeing his baby.
“Is this real?” He asks and he hears Louis rustling beside him. He can practically feel Louis’ smile.
“It’s real. She’s here. She’s beautiful. Perfect. She’s in my arms right now, H. Are you ready?” He bites his lip and he’s smiling and he nods. His eyes flutter open and he can’t contain the emotions he’s feeling.
“Oh. My little Belle. Hi baby.” Louis is holding her and her little fingers are clutching the blanket that’s around her very loosely. She’s wearing a white and navy blue striped tee shirt onesie, with a red flower headband on her head. Her little baby bird bracelet has been placed on her wrist to match Harry's and Louis'. Her little eyes are looking around the room, so aware. She’s so little, but she looks so much like them. Harry gestures his arms out for her immediately.
“I have to hold her. Please.” He can’t take his eyes off her. Louis shifts her, and she looks up at Louis with big blue eyes just like his, and then he’s placing her in Harry’s arms and Harry is fucking losing it.
“You’re so small. But you’re beautiful. I love you so much, Jelly Bean. We’ll always call you that, you know.” He kisses her over and over. She doesn’t stir, just stares up at him so quietly, and her little hand reaches up to touch his face, which is close. She’s precious, and Harry knows Louis is taking pictures. But he can’t take his eyes off her.
“This little girl hates being swaddled, by the way.” Louis tells him and Harry beams up at Louis.
“Louis, we created her. She’s real. And she’s so quiet. So small. So perfect. We did this.” Harry is practically hysteric. Louis facetimes the clan of people in their flat, all six of them. The first image they see is Harry holding Belle. Squeals of joy are heard from the phone.
“She’s so precious! We’re giving you a few hours as a little family, and then we’re coming to steal what’s rightfully ours.” Gemma teases and Harry cuddles Belle kissing her and rocking her. Her eyes are getting sleepy. She yawns and everyone coos.
“She’s beautiful, H. Does she like being swaddled?” Louis snorts.
“She absolutely refused to let me. She wailed every time I tried, and when I was flattening out the blanket she was kicking up a fuss like crazy. She’s a scrapper. Li, you’re going to have to teach her how to box.”
“And I’ll teach her to draw and speak Urdu.” Zayn says from the couch beside a blushing Liam. Niall just sighs.
“I’ll teach her how to eat.”
“I think she’s got that down pat Niall. She eats like crazy already.” Niall laughs. “Well, I can’t corrupt our little girl and teach her to drink Guinness. Not until she’s legal.”
“She’s three days old, don’t make me think that far ahead.” Harry says staring down at his little girl. He rubs his nose where the nasal cannula is still in place.
“I think a family cuddle is in order, so we’re going to go.” Louis says and they bid their goodbyes. Then Louis takes Belle and turns her over on her tummy, resting her against Harry’s chest. Harry lets out a soft noise, but then Louis is leaning the bed back and Harry is holding Belle like she’s still not real. Louis just kisses his shoulder.
“She’s ours, baby. And she’s beautiful. And she’s perfect.”
“I don't think I’ve ever been so happy. This is all I’ve ever wanted and needed. I can’t believe just how lucky I am to have you, and to have our little girl here.” Louis kisses him.
They lay like this for the longest time, but then little miss Belle makes the tiniest whimper, which then explodes into a boisterous little cry that could knock down a village. Harry panics, thinking he’s done something wrong but Louis lets Harry figure this one out for himself.
“Okay little one.” Harry coos, laying her down gently across his legs. She immediately starts suckling her hand.
“She’s hungry?” Harry looks up to Louis who’s grinning.
“Ready for your first feeding session, Daddy?”
“Bring it on, Papa.”
*
After a week in hospital, Harry is finally discharged and ready to go home with his little family. He’s still tender in the tummy, but he can breathe again and feels better than ever. His little Belle is settled into her car seat for the first time, and Louis’ does a last minute check of their room before he’ll push Harry via wheelchair to the front door with their little girl, ready to head home. Ready to raise his daughter with the man he loves. To face whatever hurdles come their way. Their little family will fight it together. Nothing can stop them now.
“We’re free, little Belle! Let’s go home.” Harry coos to her as Louis pushes his wheelchair.
All the nurses of the wing wave goodbye to Harry, very fond of him and Belle and Louis and happy to see them going home after such a trauma. They beg him to return often with her to visit, and he can’t deny them that when Louis works there. Downstairs Niall has brought their car to the main entrance of the hospital before climbing into his own. Louis gets Belle’s car seat in the car, and then helps Harry in to sit beside her. Harry tucks the blanket in around her and smiles at Louis.
“Home, please.” He teases and Louis grins at him.
“As you wish, m’lady.”
And then he gets in the car and they drive home. Belle is so quiet and peaceful when she’s asleep. But it’s like she knows when they’re home because she wakes and just watches the world pass by for a while. Harry pulls her beanie down on her tiny little head and then gets out of the car. They walk side by side as they enter their building, get into the lift, and get to their flat. The door swings open.
A ‘Welcome Home Belle and Harry’ banner signed by everyone is hung up on their living room wall. But it’s nice to enter their house as just their little family. Flowers are strewn all over the room.
“They figured they’d give us a day before they bombard us with visitors.”
“Kind of them.” Harry says with a grin.
Louis smiles at him and then out of nowhere goes down the hall and out of sight with Belle. Harry feels the urge to follow. Slowly, still sore and moving a lot slower than normal, he gets to the nursery. Louis is changing her hat for a headband. Louis peeks over his shoulder and smiles at Harry.
“Zayn painted her name on the wall.” Harry looks, and he sees ‘Belle’ painted in beautiful swirling letters above an anchor wall hanging in the middle of the wall above her crib. “It’s complete, now that she’s home.” Harry says fondly, walking over to him and hugging him from behind.
“H…” Louis warns and Harry sighs, but he’s so happy he steps away and waits for Louis to give him Belle. He wants to snuggle her as much as he can, and he intends to have his first cuddle session in his chair.
“Oh! H, you have to come see this.” Louis says, carrying Belle on his shoulder and leaving Harry to follow. Belle’s eyes are open and she’s suckling on her hand but she looks content. Louis disappears into their room like lightning. Harry frowns.
“Louis, she’s hungry I need to- oh.”
Beside their bed is a beautiful brand new bassinet, with a white flowy skirt and a yellow ribbon around it and a little storage compartment under the bassinet with two little wicker baskets.
“It’s beautiful.” Harry says softly. Louis stands beside the little cot.
“Your mum surprised me… I think she likes it…” He says softly back, touching their little girl who is lying in the bassinet.
She’s on her back and sucking on her hand, but her eyes look up at her Daddy with little blue sparkles. He bites his lip but a smile peeks through. He notices she’s not in the onesie he’d dressed her in to come home. The white onesie with the ‘daddy do list’ instructions on how to actually put it on her. Louis thought that would be a great Christmas gift to give Harry, as well as a diaper changing survival tool kit. It had made him laugh and he was almost sad to see her in a different onesie. It’s a short sleeved onesie with no pants on. Harry smoothes it out to read it. His hand freezes. Eyes widen. Hand covers his mouth.
“Oh my god.” He breathes. ‘Daddy, will you marry us?’ with a picture of a ring is written on her onesie. And when he turns to look at Louis, he’s down on his knee with a box in his hand and his eyebrows raised as if they can ask all the questions.
“What do you say, Daddy? Think you can spend a lifetime with us?” Harry cries but he’s so happy and Louis scoops him up in his arms to stop him from falling to his knees. Harry keeps repeating ‘yes’ and ‘oh my god Louis is this real’ over and over, through tears and kisses. When Louis slips the delicate ring on his ring finger, it sinks in.
“Oh my god.” He says again, beaming at Louis.
“And I’d marry you Harry. Because it rhymes.” He’s grinning, and he kisses Louis like his life depends on it, and then he scoops his little girl up in his arms and kisses her.
“Of course I’ll marry you, my little Belle of the ball. You and your Papa make me so happy, you know that?” He kisses the top of her head, and then kisses Louis. A moment later, Harry is making a sour face that makes Louis laugh.
“Lou, I think I need my survival tool kit, stat. She just totally pooped during my engagement.” It makes Louis cackle with overwhelming happiness but he leads Harry into the nursery, and pulls out his camera to document this momentous occasion.
“You’ve just been proposed to, and you’re about to tackle your first ever poopy diaper. How do you feel, Daddy?” Louis asks and Harry grins at the camera.
“I feel like a million bucks. I feel like the happiest person on the planet. I feel like- oh god Belle don’t pee on me! Can girls even projectile pee?! Louis, help me!” Louis is behind the camera laughing so hard and snorting so much he can hardly breathe. He turns the camera around, and grins at it.
“First day home after a long journey. Belle 1, Daddy 0 in the diaper games. To be continued…”
*
Harry pats his tummy. Their little boy is kicking him something fierce right now, and it’s all because Louis is blowing raspberries to his belly. Harry can’t stop laughing, and Louis is hiding his face in Harry’s side every time their little guy wiggles around in there.
“The poor little guy’s going to be terrified of raspberries when he comes out.” Harry laughs again, and Louis’ head pops up, eyeing Belle running through the grass, squealing. She’s trying to catch butterflies, but all she keeps catching is air.
“Papa! Papa, come help me catch one!” She shouts.
Harry watches Louis get up and run barefoot to chase Belle through the field in search for butterflies. It’s hard to believe she’s nearly five now, and Harry’s nearly thirty one. And Louis is almost thirty three. And their little guy is almost full term. He’s had a smooth pregnancy with little baby boy Tomlinson, and Belle is thrilled to be having a baby brother who she can teach to play in the dirt and find all the creepy and disgusting bugs that Louis often helps her catch and Harry shows her how to release.
“Daddy, tell brother I caught him a frog!” She squeals, tucking her long curly hair behind her ears, not caring for the dirt that Harry will have to get out later in her bath. He pats his belly fondly.
“Your sister caught you a frog, little man. Don’t get any ideas, we’re not keeping him.” Belle comes over and plops down on the checkered blanket, worn from many uses out here on their annual weekly picnics. She holds up her jar and shows Harry the little frog she’s caught. Louis shrugs when Harry grimaces at him.
“Belly Bean, we can’t keep him. We don’t have a terrarium for him, and he’d be much happier out here. Besides, I think Flounder, Nemo and Dumbledore would get quite jealous if we brought another pet into the house right now.”
“But after brother’s born, he gets to pick a pet, right? Because Flounder is yours, Dumbledore is Papa’s, and Nemo is mine. Will brother get a fish too?” She asks with big blue eyes of excitement.
“Maybe your brother will pick a cat instead. I know how much you and Papa want a cat, I’m sure brother would agree.” Belle scrunches her nose up in distaste like Harry does.
“Daddy, I think brother would like a lizard more. Or a snake. Oh! Maybe he’d like a tarantula. I think that would be a great pet!” Harry’s face pales.
“He absolutely will not want a spider.” Louis cackles from where he’s laying on the blanket plucking grass.
“Oi, tell your daughter we’re not getting lizards.” Harry nudges him. Louis grins at him.
“Sorry, Jelly Bean. Daddy’s a poor sport. Maybe a dog will be better. He can take you on adventures and go bug hunting with you.” Belle seems pleased with this, and Harry grins because they’re off the topic of pet deadly spiders.
He tucks her hair back again. He should’ve plaited it before leaving the house, but it’s too late now. Until she asks him too of course, and asks Louis to go pluck some of the last flowers out in the field in this early September air so Harry can weave them into her hair. So of course they do as she asks because they can, and Belle tells Harry all about her first week at primary school. Again. And he happily listens.
“And this girl, her name’s Sam, and she really likes bug hunting too just like me, Daddy! Can we have a playdate so we can show her the fireflies that come out here in the summer?” Of course Harry agrees, because it’s a summer away and he’s just glad that Belle is making friends that don’t think a girl wearing a dress and ribbons in her hair that likes chasing bugs and reptiles and all things considered non-girly is a bad thing.
“Belle, do you see him over there?” Louis points. Belle’s head whips around, gasping when she spots the last monarch butterfly she has yet to chase off. She runs off with her jar to catch him, giggling as he flies higher and lower to avoid her. Harry watches on, heart swelling as he watches his baby girl.
“She’s so big… we have proper conversations with her now.” Harry murmurs and rests his head on Louis’ shoulder. Louis watches her with a sated smile on his face.
“We did a good job, you know.” Harry kisses his cheek.
“Of course we did. We’re the dream team. We’re unstoppable.”
“Making babies like no one better.”
“Raising them to be kind human beings with understanding and acceptance.” Harry says and Louis rolls his eyes fondly.
“So… we still haven’t named this guy yet.”
“I was thinking Bartholomew.” Harry jokes and Louis squeaks.
“Absolutely not.”
“How about Noah?” Louis scrunches his nose.
“Seriously, do you just look at babynames.com and pick random names?”
“Well Niall stole a good name, the bastard.” Harry pouts. Niall and Barbara had just had their first baby a month ago. Little Thomas was blossoming brilliantly. Louis had to agree with Harry.
“What about… George?” Harry shakes his head.
“The royal kid’s name is that, it’s so overused… Belle!” She stops dead in her tracks. She looks down and realizes she’s about to go into a giant puddle. She runs back to Harry and rests her head on his belly.
“Hello in there!” She says happily, grinning up at Harry. Harry smiles back at her.
“What do you think we should call your little brother?” Harry asks. Belle’s eyes widen.
“Really? You’re asking me?” She says like she can’t believe it. Harry laughs.
“Of course. But we can’t name him Brother.”
“Or Jelly Bean. That’s my name, Daddy. He can’t have it.” She says defensively.
“He won’t steal your name, love.” Louis tells her. She thinks really hard for a minute before pressing her ear to Harry’s belly.
“What’s your name?” She asks him. The baby kicks happily at the sound of his sister’s voice. She laughs.
“That can’t possibly be it. Come on, tell me.” Harry meets Louis’ eyes above Belle’s head. Their kid is something else. The baby kicks again, Harry wheezes out a laugh.
“Oh! Yes I rather like that. I’ll tell them.” She turns to face her parents, and they both watch on with pleasant smiles.
“I think both me- and him- agree on a name.” And she pats Harry’s tummy in acknowledgment.
“Well tell us then, Bean.” Louis laughs.
“Oliver.” She says simply. Harry and Louis’ eyes meet. Louis is raising his eyebrows in surprise that it’s a normal name. Harry is biting his lip to keep from grinning.
“I like that, Bean. I like that a lot. How about you, Daddy?” Louis asks, tilting his head.
“I actually love it.” Harry can’t stop hearing Belle’s little voice in his head over and over. Oliver. Oliver. Oliver.
“And we can call him Ollie as a nickname!” He gives a steady kick to Harry when she says this. Harry laughs.
“I think he agrees, Jelly Bean. It’s a good name. It suits him.” Harry nods. Louis twines his fingers in Harry’s, and Belle settles between them.
“When is he coming out?” She asks.
“Soon.” Louis tells her again for the fourth time today.
“Will he sleep in my room with me?”
“No, he’ll be in with me and Daddy for a while. And then he’ll sleep in the nursery.” Louis responds. She nods.
“Do you think he’ll like me?” She asks quieter this time. Harry kisses her.
“He’ll love you. How could he not? You’re his big sister! You’re going to show him how to catch bugs and get dirt in his hair and do ballet and tea parties and all the fun things.” She sighs softly, and Louis meets his eyes with a look so fond.
“I’m excited.” She tells them, as if it wasn’t obvious.
“We are too, Belle.” Harry kisses her again, and Louis scoops her up while Harry collects the blanket.
Belle’s asleep before they make it home, and Louis puts her to bed before joining Harry on their couch watching some Friends reruns. After all these years, Harry still seems to find them funny.
“I love you.” Louis says, simply because he can. Harry grins at him and cuddles into him. They’re quiet for a while, Harry staying still because Oliver -wow they have a name for him- has the hiccups.
“You know what?” Harry says and Louis looks at him.
“What.”
“If I hadn’t fallen off the ladder that day, I never would’ve met you.” Harry says as if he’s just had the epiphany. Louis rolls his eyes.
“Not true. You were in the A&E five times after that while I was on shift. And you were always visiting your pregnant friends. We were destined to meet, you and me.”
“But think about it Lou, it happened on the day I fell off a ladder. I practically fell for you before I met you. I’m really glad I did. And it’s a good thing you’re a nurse, because I needed you to save me.” Harry has a shit eating grin on his face. Louis groans and hides his face in the crook of Harry’s shoulder, nipping at his collarbone to shut him up.
“You’re god awful. Why do I put up with you?” Harry laughs.
“Because I’m birthing your child, again. And you love my puns. They’re your favourite thing about me.”
“No, they’re not. They’re absolutely not.” Louis whines and Harry just grins at him.
“My heart is breaking, Louis. It hurts. I’m so glad you’re a nurse. Won’t you fix it for me?” Louis lets out an even bigger groan but the smile on his face refuses to leave and it’s so fucking fond.
“You’re the worst. The bloody worst.” Louis can’t help but kiss him. Harry laughs and kisses him back.
“You love it.” He murmurs against his lips, and Louis doesn’t even have to respond because Harry knows he does.
It’s a given thing. Louis has been gone for him since he met him. He fell in love with Harry’s smile, his charm. His curly hair and his big green eyes full of hope and wonder. He was absolutely smitten. He did everything he could just to make Harry laugh and make him happy. He couldn’t get enough of his cuddles and his heart. And he hates to admit it, but he really loves his puns too. He’s completely besotted with him in every single possible way imaginable and he’s not ashamed to tell the world just how much he’s gone for this boy. He would be lost without him.
“Hey H?” Louis says when he’s pulling back for air. Harry looks at him with kiss bruised lips and big green eyes that make him melt.
“Yeah, husband?” Louis rolls his eyes fondly, pressing his forehead to Harry’s before murmuring eight perfect words into his skin, staining the words there forever.
“I’m really glad you fell for me too.”
fin.