Chapter Text
Jesus, Toki.” Magnus was already out of breath. Too many fuckin’ cigarettes for too many fuckin’ years. Live and learn, yeah? Live. And. Learn. Or maybe not - the learning part. Just thinking about a cigarette was making him crave one. He was the first to admit, he had his weaknesses - had plenty of personal demons. Apparently, one of them was right next to him. “How’d you get so good at this?” He huffed.
Toki, who hadn’t even broken a sweat, and most definitely wasn’t fuckin’ breathing heavy, glanced over at Magnus and winked. “It ams all in the grips.”
“The grip, huh?” Magnus heard the crack in his voice. Fuckin’ embarrassing. He cleared his throat and tried to correct it, but before he could say more, Toki reached over with his free hand, wrapped it around Magnus’ and squeezed.
“Ja, the grips.” He squeezed a little harder, and then moved their joined hands up and down.
Christ.
Magnus could only stare - couldn’t speak. His body felt flushed, and could feel the heat rising to his face. For god’s sake, when did he get to be so fuckin’ delicate? He watched the muscles flex in Toki’s arm as he moved it - up and down, and up and down - and his mouth went dry. Shit, the kid was fuckin’ hot. This wasn’t part of his plan. He wasn’t supposed to be attracted to Toki. Sure, he was supposed to get close to him - make him trust him - be his friend. But, he hadn’t expected to like it - to like being with him. To feel things. Fuck his life.
“Hey man, I think I’m gonna take a break.” He pulled his shaking hand away from Toki’s, missing the contact the instant he broke it, and ran it through his long curly hair. He grabbed his beer that was sitting beside him and chugged the rest. Yeah, he was gonna need more alcohol…a whole lot more.
“Whats? You amnts even finished,” Toki protested.
“No. Yeah, I think I’m done.”
Toki pouted and Magnus couldn’t help thinking how fuckin’ adorable that was. Jesus , he had it bad for him. Not good. Not fuckin’ good at all. He fished through his jacket pocket, and pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter, and lit one up.
“Buts, playins Just Dance by myselfs isn’t any fun.”
Magnus took a deep drag of his cigarette and blew out some smoke rings. That was sexy, right? He wondered. Shit, he shouldn’t be trying to look sexy. What the hell was he thinking? Still, he couldn’t help but look hopefully at Toki to check out his response. Couldn’t tell. Damn it.
“Then play something else, buddy. I’ll just sit here and watch you, ok?” God, he felt like he was talking to Toki like he was a child, or some shit, and that really fucked with his head. One minute he’s coddling him like he’s a god damn toddler, and the next he’s thinking about sticking his tongue down his throat. He wasn’t a child, after all - he was like 31 - he just seemed so much younger because he’s so sweet and innocent and loving and kind… Shit.
“We coulds plays somethings else, if you wants? Like a grandpa’s game?”
“A what? Just how old do you think I am, Toke?” Magnus was a little offended and maybe, just maybe, a little bit hurt. Was Toki thinking he was old and fuckin’ decrepit because he couldn’t keep up with him? Maybe he should’ve just kept playing the game. Nah, felt like it could’ve killed him. Maybe he was getting old.
Toki paused the game and looked at him. “I didn’ts means it like that. I knows you’re not olds. Your onlies 49 - that ams still young. When I said grandpa’s game, I meant likes a game from a long times ago. Likes pac-man or space invaders. Ones thats you don’ts have to jumps around.”
“Hmm. Yeah, I still would rather just watch you for awhile, ok bud?”
Toki nodded and unpaused the game, switching to something a little less physical, and took a seat on the couch next to Magnus.
His heart skipped a beat when Toki’s leg brushed against his. Ridiculous - fuckin’ ridiculous. He needed to pull his shit together and get back on track - back to the plan.
“So, Toke, how’s everything going with the band? Any closer to, like, a resolution?”
Magnus was studying his face. He told himself it was to see his response, but how could he not study him? He was fuckin’ beautiful. All pale big blue eyes and long, shiny, silky brown hair - rock hard muscles and a smile that could rival the god damn sun. Magnus shook his head. How could he get control of this? He had to get control of this.
Toki was trying to be positive. Magnus could see he was fuckin’ trying when he smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Ums, it ams goings okay, I guess. Me and Skwisgaar and Murderface ams all hopings that Pickles and Nathans wills makes up. If Nathans would justs say he ams sorry to Pickles, thens everythings would be fines.”
Magnus got up and grabbed himself another beer and one for Toki. He was mulling over what he wanted to say. Did he crush the kids dreams and tell him that there’s no way in hell that Nathan Explosion would ever apologize to that red haired fuck. No, he couldn’t be the one to rain on Toki’s fuckin’ parade. He sat back down next to him and sighed. What to say, what to say? “Well, I’m sure things will work out one way or the other.” There, that seemed like a pretty safe response. Didn’t give the kid too much hope, but didn’t break him down either.
Toki must’ve taken it as more of a positive response, though. “You reallies think sos, Magnus? That everythings coulds work outs?” He had paused his game - some medieval warrior looking shit - and looked up at Magnus with hopeful, watery eyes. Crap.
“Yeah, sure, sure kid. It could all work out. I’m sure you’ll be fine either way. Shit, you’ve got more money than god, right?”
“It amnst about the monies. It ams about my friends - my families.”
Magnus wanted to punch something. Those fuckers were hurting Toki. But then again, he was planning to, too. Toki was too good for them all, this he fuckin’ knew. “Listen, bud, you’re a good guy. I promise, it’ll all work out for you in the end, okay?”
That must’ve placated Toki. He trusted Magnus. He smiled a genuine smile while he continued playing his game. “Thanks, Magnus. That, um, makes me feels better.”
He blushed - couldn’t help it. Apparently, making Toki feel good really did it for him. Who knew? He downed the rest of his beer, and picked up Toki’s untouched one and started on that one. There wasn’t enough alcohol in this world to give him the balls to go where he was going next. He could feel the anxiety creeping up on him like a vice grip, but he couldn’t stop himself - needed to hear what Toki’s response would be.
“So…at least with the band somewhat broken up, we get to spend time together, y’know?”
“Ja, buts we’d gets to spends time togethers anyways.”
Magnus was shaking his head. “I don’t think so, buddy. You know those fuckers - I mean, those guys - hate me. If you all work it out, I’m pretty sure it’ll be the end of us hanging out like this.” He guzzled Toki’s drink, and was starting to feel it. Man, where were the days when he could drink a whole god damn bottle of vodka and still drive home, no problem? Better days, man. Now light beer was doing him in. What the fuck?
Toki’s tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth, as he focused on his game. The sight may or may not have gone directly to Magnus’ dick. “You don’ts gotsta worry. I wouldn’t lets anyones comes betweens us. They’d just have to deals with its.”
Why couldn’t he let this go? What did it matter? But it did. It for some reason was twisting in Magnus’ gut. He needed to know where he stood. But why? None of this was real… right…right? “I’m just saying, they’re your friends, and if it came down between them and me, I think we know who’s gonna fuckin’ win.” He stared down at his hands and picked at his nails like they were the most interesting thing in the fuckin’ world. Toki for his part just kept playing his game like nothing was wrong. Like none of this mattered. Maybe it didn’t.
“Wells, I don’t lets anyones stops me from spending times with peoples that I loves.”
The world stopped on a dime. Magnus could hear his heart beating in his ears and nothing else. Was he even breathing? He didn’t fuckin” know. Did Toki Wartooth just say he loved him? He couldn’t have. He must have misheard him. But it seemed pretty fuckin’ clear. Okay, he just couldn’t have meant it like that. He had to have meant as a friend, or a much older brother. Never like that. Yet, something was burning in his blood. He had to clarify this shit. He had to know, even if it broke his own little old heart.
“People that you love?” He echoed.
“Yeps.”
What kind of answer was that? Okay, okay. “Yeah, but you love them, don’t you?” Magnus was digging like a dog with a bone.
“Yeah, I dos, but nots likes I loves you.”
Magnus’ voice was small. He didn’t even recognize it when it came out. “I don’t know what that means. Could you - Jesus, Toki - could you tell me what that means?”
Toki still wouldn’t look at him - still just stared ahead at his game. His voice came out nonchalant and unaffected, but Magnus could see how his hands shook on the controller. “It means, that…it means that I loves them, but I ams in loves with you. Ands I wouldn’ts lets thems tear us aparts.”
Oh. Oh. Magnus felt like he was gonna pass out, or maybe throw up. Maybe both. No one had ever told him that they loved him besides his mother in his whole worthless life - not as a friend, not as a lover. Now, the most beautiful, famous, sexiest guy in the whole fucking world is casually professing his love for him? What the fuck? Can’t be true - can’t be. And what about his plans? This was his enemy, right? He was confused, and angry, and elated all at once. But as it always goes with Magnus Hammersmith, anger won out.
He grabbed Toki by the wrist, knocking the controller out of his hand, and glared at him. “Don’t fuckin’ mess with me, Toki,” he all but growled.
Toki just blinked, batting those dark eyelashes at him, and Magnus felt like he might be going a little crazy. Crazier? “I mean it, bud. I’m not a god damn toy you can play with.”
“I amnst playings. I ams in loves with you.”
Just like that he said it. So fuckin’ easy. But Magnus was shaking his head no. He wouldn’t believe it. Couldn’t. He lowered his voice to just above a whisper and tried to hold any semblance of control over himself. “Listen, Toki. If you like wanna fuck or something, you don’t have to tell me that. Just say, ‘Hey Magnus, you wanna fuck?’ But don’t play with me. I’m not a needy chick. You don’t - fuck - you don’t have to say shit that you know you don’t mean.”
Toki took his hand in his, and looked him in the eyes. “I do means it. I loves you. I’m in loves with you. And, um, I don’t wants to fuck. I can fuck anyones. I woulds likes to makes love to you, though.”
And that was all it took for the flood gates to burst open, and Magnus was crying. When was the last time he had cried? When his mother died years and years ago, Magnus Hammersmith doesn’t cry. And he certainly isn’t someone people fuckin’ loved. Yet, here he was, with a beautiful Norwegian guitar god, professing his love to him, and wiping his tears away like he meant it. His replacement. His enemy…? His love? Jesus, yes, his love.
“Magnus? Ams you alright? I”m sorry if I upsets-“
Magnus couldn’t think - wouldn’t think. He just felt too much. Didn’t want to hear what Toki had to say - he’d said enough, so he just cut that shit off the only way he could - by putting his mouth on Toki’s. He kissed him with everything he had. It had been so long since he kissed someone, and never someone he loved. Love…it was a foreign concept to him, but he felt it. Christ, he felt it…now. So this is love? Something he never thought he could have or even wanted. And god, he wanted…
His lips were burning with the intensity of their kiss, and fuck, Toki was moaning into his mouth. He needed more. Wanted more.
His hands were in Toki’s hair - he hadn’t even realized - wrapped up in silken strands he wanted to touch for so long, and his mind hadn’t even registered it. Toki had broke the kiss and slid his mouth down to Magnus’ neck and was trailing soft kisses and promises as he went further and further down. Magnus’ head was dizzy with it, but he still needed more.
“Toki,” his voice was soft and gentle as he ran a thumb over Toki’s cheekbone, “do you wanna, I dunno, take this in the bedroom and -“
“Makes love?”
“Y-yeah, that..” He couldn’t say it, could he? Felt like it would rip his heart right out of his chest. Or maybe he could? Maybe for once in his god damn life he’d like to actually feel something for someone and be able to say it. “I mean, Toki. I want to go and fuckin’ make love with you, o-okay?”
Toki smiled and leaned in and kissed him with a tenderness Magnus had never known. He intertwined their hands, pulled him up and led him into the bedroom…