Chapter Text
Toni woke up late this morning. She had fully intended to get up and take her dog Charlie to the park like usual, but managed to fall back asleep after her alarm. She rolls out of bed and pours a travel mug of cold brew coffee from the fridge. Then she throws on a pair of navy blue Dickies shorts, a striped dark blue t-shirt, blue socks that come up her calf a bit, and finally slides on her blue and white checkered Vans. The monochrome look is still cool, right? She thinks so but doesn’t really care either way.
Charlie greets her with a few kisses as she puts his leash on before taking him outside. He trots alongside her down the sidewalk, looking up at her occasionally. They walk for a couple of blocks like this before she has to hurry him along back to her apartment. “I’m sorry bud, I will make it up to you tomorrow, I promise,” she says, petting under his chin.
As she walks to work, she checks her phone and finds a couple texts from Marty. The first is a picture of her cat wrapped up like a burrito in a blanket. The second one asks her if wants to come over tonight and order takeout for dinner. Toni tells her yes and sends a gif of someone stuffing their face with food.
She unlocks the front door of her modest corner store and heads over to flick the lights on. The quiet humming of the coolers soothes her as she starts working on a couple tasks before opening the store up for the day.
Her store is a neighborhood-serving convenience store. She tries to stock a decent amount of fresh produce and sells fresh-made, locally roasted coffee. It’s not fancy, but certainly better than gas station coffee. She keeps the place clean and simple. Business is decent but has declined slowly over the last year or so.
She has quite a few regular customers that she knows by name. Many of them live on the block, a few even live above the store. One of her regulars comes in today and they tell her about their kid’s piano recital (which doesn’t really interest Toni) and asks her about her dog. Seeing her regulars is comforting.
Marcus arrives for the mid-day shift and helps stock all of the coolers, which is one of Toni’s least favorite tasks. He’s been working for her for about a year now and is a decent employee. “Toni, the Pepsi driver is here,” he says.
“You know you can sign for that. Just double check the order slip,” she replies. “And don’t let that asshole leave again without changing the fountain soda syrups!”
He puts one hand up to his forehead and says, “Aye aye, captain.”
Toni rolls her eyes but holds back a little chuckle. Marcus usually calls her captain, and even though she hated it at first, it’s started to become endearing.
The day goes by pretty quickly. She sends Marcus home and begins working on closing up. Toni flips the open sign over, flicks the front lights off, and takes the few remaining steps before reaching for the lock on the front door just as it is pushed open. The incoming blonde woman’s face looks startled as she stops in her tracks before her face changes. “Toni?” she says.
Now it’s Toni’s turn to be startled. After a second she recognizes that the person in front of her is Shelby Goodkind, one of the most popular girls from her high school. She did not expect to see someone from her past waltzing into her corner store.
“Shelby?” Toni says somewhat quietly and pulls the door open the rest of the way. She can’t help but notice Shelby’s high waisted ripped jeans. They fit somewhat loosely in places, but look amazing. They’re cut off above the ankle with fringes at the bottom revealing a pair of dark maroon Dr Martens. She has a tight fitting black shirt that’s tucked in. She looks like someone completely different than the last time Toni saw her 8 years ago.
“Wow! I haven’t seen you in a long time,” the blonde woman says, adjusting her shirt a bit. “Do you work here?”
“I run the place. Been here for a few years now,” Tony replies. “Don’t think I’ve seen you since graduation.”
“Are you closing? I can find somewhere else to go,” Shelby says.
“Nah, it’s alright. Go ahead, look around,” Toni says.
Shelby glances away but turns her head back just enough to give Toni a once-over in her peripheral vision. Toni grabs a broom and starts to walk toward the back of the store. Memories flash back as she begins to sweep up. Things she hasn’t thought about in ages.
Shelby is closing her locker as her boyfriend, Andrew, approaches. He spits out some mean remark as Toni walks by. Shelby giggles quietly and grabs his arm. Several similar memories flash by quickly before Toni snaps out of it. She takes a deep breath to calm the fury she begins to feel and it helps a little.
She sees Shelby has made her way up to the counter. As Toni rings her up, Shelby is trying to make small talk. She asks her if she likes running the corner store and says she thinks running a business would be very stressful. Toni sees right through it and says, “You don’t have to do this. I know what you’re doing but it’s fine. Let’s just finish this up and you can be on your way.”
Shelby glances down and stops talking. Toni puts the items into a bag as Shelby gets out her credit card. She hands her the receipt as she grabs the bag off of the counter. Shelby starts to walk away, but turns back to say, “I’m really sorry. I’m sorry about high school. Andrew and our friends made your life so hard. I don’t think you deserved it.”
“It’s fine. I’m over it.”
“It’s not fine. I… Can I make it up to you somehow? Can I buy you dinner some time or something? I just –” Shelby trails off.
Toni wasn’t expecting an apology. Especially one that sounded sincere coming out of Shelby’s mouth. She looks at Shelby’s eyes and sees what looked like real pain in them. But years of anger catch up with her thoughts and she is telling Shelby off. “You’re right Shelby, it’s not fine. For someone who went to church every Sunday, led some ridiculous youth group, and paraded around like some little angel, you sure were a bitch. So no, you can’t make it up to me. Please leave.”
“Okay. I truly am sorry. But I’ll go,” Shelby says before heading out the door.
Tony follows her and locks the door immediately behind her, then walks over to one of the coolers and grabs a frozen pizza. She pops it in the pizza oven in the back and waits while she counts the money in the till. Her hands shake a bit and she loses count a few times. Finally she finishes up, eats most of the pizza and heads out down the street, walking a few blocks before reaching the door to her apartment building. Charlie greets her with a few licks to her shins and she takes him outside before coming back inside and climbing into bed.
_____________
A few weeks pass. Toni is annoyed that she thinks back on those bad memories from high school several times while she is at the gym or biking to the park. She wonders what her old therapist would say. She was always trying to help Toni reframe her thoughts and see things in ways that didn’t come naturally at first. But Toni certainly grew a lot over the course of attending therapy for several years. Seeing Shelby must have brought up memories she had repressed for a long time, but she isn’t sure what to do about it all. Maybe her therapist would tell her she should have accepted Shelby’s apology. She would probably ask questions about the situation in high school and ask her what stopped her from forgiving Shelby. Before thinking about it much longer, Toni pushes it to the back of her head and moves on.
_____________
Toni meets up with Fatin, Dot, Marty, Nora, and Rachel for brunch on a Saturday. Nora, and Rachel have made the drive up to the city to visit for the weekend. They all try to get together at least every couple months, but it’s been somewhat less frequent lately. Most of them have partners and grown up jobs now. Fatin brings her new girlfriend, Leah, for the first time and Toni is surprised by her, thinking they don’t seem like they’d work together.
“How’d you two meet again?” Marty asks, looking between Fatin and Leah.
“Leah was a roadie for my band on our last tour. We kept hanging out after the tour ended and it just sort of happened,” Fatin replies, putting her head onto Leah’s shoulder. Toni thinks it’s a much more simple answer and intimate move than she’s used to seeing from Fatin.
“Oh that’s right,” Rachel says. “You’re playing bass now in this new band right?”
“Yes, bass in this new band and still in the city orchestra too.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Leah,” Marty replies with a sincere smile.
“It’s nice to meet you all too,” Leah looks down and then up at the new faces around the table.
“Okay, it’s been a stupid week. Who’s ready to get a ton of mimosas?” Dot says a bit too loudly.
“Me! So glad this week is over,” Toni says with a strain in her voice.
“What’s up? Something happen?” Fatin asks.
“Not really. I’ve just been down for a few weeks. And the shitty weather hasn’t been helping,” Toni replies.
They all order some drinks first and then chat for a while as they glance over the menu. They usually go to the same place for brunch and today it’s extra busy. All six of them are packed into a table meant for four. Fatin and Leah certainly don’t seem to mind, as they cuddle in close to each other. Toni watches as they share little glances here and there. It’s actually rather adorable. They seem to have a similar sense of humor and keep making each other laugh really hard. Toni has been single for a while and they remind her how much she misses laughing with someone like that.
After a while, Marty says, “The weirdest thing happened last week. Shelby Goodkind messaged me on instagram asking how I’m doing. I haven’t talked to her in years. I mean, we used to be good friends, until she got way too cool for me. We never really talked afterward. So I don’t know. It was strange.”
“What did she say?” Nora asks.
“She asked how I’m doing, where I’m living, what I’m up to… that sort of stuff. Then she apologized for ditching me in high school. It was weird. But I think she was being genuine. She also asked what all of us are up to. Wanted to know where we’re all living and what we’re doing and stuff,” Marty explains.
“Maybe she feels bad for the mean things she did back then... She must be repenting! Maybe she’s still convinced we’re all going to hell but she wants to be forgiven for her sins,” Rachel says with a smirk.
“I don’t know. It seemed pretty genuine,” Marty says. “We have been texting off and on since then.”
“Don’t get your hopes up Marty,” Toni says bluntly. “You know she’s a shit. Maybe she’s trying to get you to join her church. I bet all her friends have deserted her by now.”
“I don’t think so. She said she just moved here actually, but I don’t think she wants me to join her church. She didn’t mention anything religious at all. Like I said, it was weird, but I guess she seems nice now. It reminded me of being friends in middle school again.”
“Wait, she just moved here?” Fatin asks.
“Yeah. She told me she left her last job and was looking to find a job here in the city. I don’t think she has any friends here,” Marty looks around the table. “Has anyone seen her since graduation?”
When everyone says no, Toni thinks about not saying anything either. But changes her mind and says, “Yeah, she actually came into my store a few weeks ago. She tried to talk to me but I told her to leave me alone. I am not falling for her bullshit.”
“Maybe she has changed, Toni, we don’t really know her anymore,” Marty says.
“Yeah, no offense, but none of us were very popular in high school. Okay… Fatin had her moments,” Nora says, eyes wide at Fatin, who was glaring at her. “I don’t see why she’d want to make friends with you again unless it was genuine.” Nora had a way of thinking so logically and matter of factly.
“Yeah, maybe,” Marty replies.
Soon the subject was changed but Toni was in her head again. Shelby and Andrew were staring at her and her girlfriend at the time, Regan, as they made their way to the front doors of the high school. One of Andrew’s friends spits toward them and asks if Regan needs a man to show her what she’s missing. Toni lunges at him and tells him to fuck off. All the kids around them make a low “ooooh” sound in response. Toni and Regan keep walking as the onlookers do nothing.
Brunch continues and everyone gets just a little tipsy, except for Nora who only had one drink and Dot who had at least a couple drinks too many. Toni waits with Dot until her Lyft shows up. They talk about Dot’s job as a construction plan reviewer. She’s still fed up with working with mostly men who think they know more than her and treat her poorly. Fucking patriarchy. Toni talks about how the store isn’t doing as well as last year but Dot isn’t in a great state of mind to offer any practical advice.
Rachel and Nora head back to their hotel for a while before they meet up with Fatin and Leah this evening for a night out. Toni decides to decline because she doesn’t have anyone to cover the store for her. Her best employee quit a few weeks ago so she’s been trying to get by with just the other two employees. Toni needs to keep them around so she stops home to take Charlie out and then heads to the store to send Jeanette home. She asks Marcus to stock the coolers and he obliges. The hours pass until 8:00 pm when she sends Marcus home too. She finishes taking care of closing tasks and locks up by 9:00. She grabs a gatorade on her way out and heads home.
Toni’s store is in an older, urban neighborhood. There are lots of three- and four-story buildings that line the main neighborhood commercial district. Most of them have some form of retail on the first floor and apartments above. Some of the commercial spaces sit vacant, but not enough to make the street seem uninviting. The neighborhood is neither rough nor fancy.
Lately there have been more strollers pushed by young couples meandering down the street and Toni knows that the changes coming to the neighborhood are inevitable. Soon young professionals will be flocking to the neighborhood and the rents will skyrocket. She’s just banking on making a buck when it all happens because she’s tired of letting the bad shit just come to her. Her life has been going pretty well lately and making a profit off the store is a huge opportunity for her. It’s one of the reasons she decided to buy the store in the first place.
When she gets home, she takes Charlie out. The night is cool and crisp. This is her favorite time of the day because her street gets peaceful, but not too quiet. There’s something calming about slowly making her way around the block with Charlie at this time of the night. After high school, this was the time of night that she would go for a jog to clear her mind and wash the misery of the day off. But things have been much better for her lately, and now it’s a good feeling to have this time of night to wind down peacefully.
_____________
A few days later, Toni’s phone rings around 9:00 pm. It’s Marty and she sounds absolutely frantic. She’s out of breath and barely able to make coherent sentences but Toni quickly learns that her cat has escaped from her apartment and is on the loose. She needs Toni to come and help her look for Eileen. Toni throws on her tan Carhart jacket and barely finishes lacing her high top Vans before hopping on her bike. When she arrives to Marty’s place, the door is ajar.
“Marty! I’m here,” she shouts when she enters the apartment.
She hears shuffling in the other room so Toni heads that way but finds Shelby Goodkind standing in Marty’s kitchen. Her face has a peculiar look on it - maybe self conscious?
“Umm, where’s Marty?” Toni looks around the room.
“She’s out looking for Eileen. She wanted us to split up but since I don’t know the city and it’s dark out, she told me to wait for you,” Shelby says, and there’s a pause. “I know you probably don’t want to see me but I think we just have to be grown ups and help our friend.” It looks like Shelby wants to keep over-explaining but Toni interrupts her, “Alright let’s go.”
They head outside. Shelby describes the rushed plan that she and Marty came up with. Marty would cover looking east of the alley that Eileen ran into and they would look west of it.
“So west is…” Shelby trails off.
Toni starts walking west without saying anything and Shelby catches up to her. They call for Eileen and walk for a few minutes without saying anything to each other until Toni asks, “did Marty call Dot and Fatin?”
“Dot didn’t answer and Martha said that Fatin had a performance tonight.”
“You know that no one calls Marty Martha, right?” Toni asserts.
“I’ve always called her Martha.”
“Always? You mean like since the last time you talked to her in middle school a decade ago?” It came out of Toni’s mouth sounding like an attack.
“Actually the last time I talked to her was about 15 minutes ago,” Shelby says with a stupid little smirk.
They continue looking for Eileen, winding around Marty’s neighborhood without speaking to each other. Toni can sense the silence is killing Shelby. Finally Shelby says, “I know what we need. How about an icebreaker!
“Jesus Shelby! This isn’t your church youth group. We don’t need an icebreaker.” Toni says.
“I know. I just…”
“You’re still the exact same,” Toni interrupts.
“How would you know? You don’t know anything about me,” Shelby comes to a stop.
“Enlighten me,” Toni rolls her eyes.
“Since you think you know me so well, why don’t you tell me who I am?” Shelby says.
“Well I can only assume that you’re still a homophobic, daddy’s girl, pageant queen who can’t wait to start a family with your high school sweetheart, buy a McMansion in the suburbs, and force feed all your religious bullshit down the throats of everyone you meet,” Toni says enthusiastically.
Shelby stares at her for a moment with a look on her face that Toni can’t decipher before replying, “Not a single one of those things is true about me anymore.”
“Oh really?” Toni says in a sarcastic tone. “You’re telling me you’re no longer a homophobe who thinks I will burn in hell?”
“I never was and never did.”
“Fooled me. I specifically recall all of your Jesus bullshit in high school.”
“Look, I said things and did things in high school that I am not proud of. Remember, I tried to apologize to you when I came into your store that day? But you said you were ‘over it’ and told me to leave,” Shelby says calmly.
“We need to keep looking for Eileen. This isn’t important,” Toni begins walking again. Shelby tries to catch up but Toni’s pace is brisk.
They are silent for another few blocks before Shelby suggests they back track a bit and head further directly west instead of northwest. Toni agrees, mostly to avoid conflict. Finally, after calling for Eileen for another ten minutes, Marty calls Shelby to let them know she found her cat. Toni and Shelby head back to Marty’s apartment with a feeling of relief. They walk in silence. Toni thinks about what Shelby said and starts to feel a little bad that she made all those wrong assumptions about her. She also can’t help but wonder whether Shelby is being honest about it.
When they reach Marty’s place, they find her cuddling Eileen on the couch. Marty asks whether Toni wants to stay and watch a movie with her and Shelby but she declines. She bikes back home and decides to snuggle in bed with Charlie and put on a movie of her own. She lands on a movie her and Marty watched together at least a dozen times in high school, Mean Girls, and cringes at the slightly (although, sometimes very direct) homophobic dialogue and subtext.