Work Text:
“Oh my god? Stop being an ass about it!”
Beomgyu’s yell echoed through the dorm. This would not be a strange occasion, if only it was not for the irritated look brewing in his face. Another oddity here was the presence of his ex roommate slash leader who looked equally as annoyed. Bickering sessions and shouting matches are common for these two, but not to this extent. The pensiveness in their voices was enough for the rest of the members to stay quietly in their rooms, choosing not to meddle.
“You literally ditched me? After whining all morning and forcing me to go?” Soobin kicked his shoes aside, rolling his eyes as he stomped his socked feet onto the floor while heading further into the dorm. Beomgyu backed up as he was almost bulldozed in his path.
“I have a fever!” he said defensively.
“You couldn’t have texted me about it? I waited two hours for you. Two hours!”
“Why would you wait two hours then? You could just leave if I didn’t answer your texts?”
Soobin glared at him once he reached his room, incredulity and irritation painting his face. “You’re so stupid.”
“What the heck?”
“I guess the fever has gotten so deep into your brain. Not like you had one in the first place.”
“What the fuck, Choi Soobin? It’s just a movie! Stop acting like you got ditched on a date or something! Hey!”
The door slammed close before he could finish his sentence. He gaped towards the door, speechless for once despite usually being the one who couldn’t shut up. Soobin could be an ass, indeed, but he never thought that the guy could be this much of an ass. They did buy tickets to watch a movie together last week, and Beomgyu might or might not have been a little noisy this morning bugging the leader about the movie.
It’s the fault of the fever that he was knocked out cold the rest of the day after lunch. His head was still pounding even at the moment, and he couldn’t bring himself to care or understand why Soobin would be so angry. It’s not like Soobin couldn’t watch a movie on his own.
He stared at the door for a bit longer before turning around and marching to his own room, making sure to slam the door close just as loudly. Soobin was not the only one who could be petty.
Throwing himself back on his bed, he glared at the ceiling. His head was still spinning and as the rush of anger slowly dissipated, the exhaustion came back in slow waves wrapping him up.
His phone screen lit on with a message notification that came up. It was his mom, sending him screenshots from the manga the company made about them – these magical boys based on their faces and everything. In one of the screenshots, Soobin’s character sacrificed himself to save Beomgyu’s character.
This looks like something that Soobinie would really do for you! His mom had written the message after sending the picture, which made Beomgyu scoff aloud.
In what universe would Choi Soobin be that nice to him? He would probably grab his collar and use him as a shield if they ever faced this kind of danger. Sure, they might be close. They might spend hours together after work and fall asleep in the middle of a voice call. But just like any other best friends, Soobin would not hesitate to throw him into the sea for five thousand won.
Whatever. He shouldn’t be thinking about Soobin, let alone fictional Choi Soobin.
He purred as he snuggled further into his blanket, washed back into slumber just like what he had been doing all afternoon, as if the storm that was Soobin never showed up in the first place.
🎬
Beomgyu woke up with a start.
The first thing he realized was a hand shaking him out of his deep sleep, and then he looked around with his bleary eyes to find that he was seated in a car. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to remember when he had dragged himself out from the bed into this neat, gray suit that fit him perfectly.
Before he could wrap his mind around it, he found himself getting dragged out by his manager, stumbling out from the car to walk down the length of a red carpet.
How the fuck did he forget if they had a schedule today? Did they dress him up while he was asleep? Was Soobin actually that petty to not wake him up for a schedule and leave him behind for their manager to bring?
The flashes of cameras blind him enough that his brain shut down instantly, transferred into working mode. No more wondering now that he had gotten into his professional mode. A practiced smile formed on his lips as he walked briskly, sparing a wave here and there until he was ushered into the building. That was when he could finally breathe again.
“Hyung, I didn’t know about this event at all. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier? I thought it’s not awards season yet?” he spoke in a hushed tone once he got back to his manager; all traces of idol-like demeanor dropping from his face.
The elder eyed him as if he had grown two heads, but didn’t say anything as they passed more people on the corridor, and Beomgyu was led into a theater-like venue. “You’ve been begging me to put this event into your packed schedule and now you’re saying all these? Stop joking around. You’re already late.”
“Me?!” he gave the other a wronged look, but tongue-tied the moment he was ushered into the eerily quiet venue. A few rows down the audience seat, he was led to sit on the only empty chair there.
Audience seat? That’s not a common place for an idol like him who usually would be stuffed backstage with the other groups, waiting for their turns to perform.
“Oh my god, you’re here!” came a whisper from his side, and it was none other than Soobin, who looked so relieved to see him, Beomgyu could almost see his eyes lightening up in the dimly-lit venue.
“Of course I’d be here…” he whispered back, frowning. Complaints were already climbing up his throat, ready to be poured out to the leader who allegedly left him in the dorm.
But everything felt wrong. None of the other members were seen around them, unlike how they always attended events together. Another odd thing was the way Soobin was holding onto his hand. It was the way of holding hand that was mentioned as the #1 in the intimacy level, fingers slipping between his own; his hold was secure and warm.
“I was so nervous, but I’m glad you’re here, baby. Thank you.”
His fever must have come back, because Beomgyu felt his head spinning at the mention of the pet name. His lips parted in surprise as Soobin gave him a tender smile, and Beomgyu was sure his soul had left his body for that split second when Soobin brought their locked hands up to his face. His heart literally stopped for a second there when he felt the male’s soft lips pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
What the fuck?
It felt even more mortifying that he felt a swoop in his stomach despite the panic coursing through his body. No matter how much he tried to find an explanation to this 180 degree change of behavior from his leader, there was nothing . There was no reason that would lead Soobin to hold his hand like this, or kissing the said hand, or even being this nice to him.
Once he found it inside him to ask the question, he felt Soobin’s hand tightening around him. That was when his attention was brought back to the event they were attending. Right. They were at work. It was a kind of formal event with a lot of famous names, and now the presenter (Kim Sejeong from IOI? When did they start referring to themselves as a group again?) was in the middle of announcing the award for Actor of the Year.
“And the winner of 2022 Actor of the Year… congratulations, Choi Soobin.”
There was only so much surprise Beomgyu could take within a day, and he didn’t even get to take in this one, as he felt his body being engulfed into Soobin’s arms the next second. Soobin was beaming when he pulled away, being the center of attention as everyone around them clapped, some even gave standing ovations.
Soobin was saying something before he went away to the stage. It felt weird, seeing his leader walking up that stage alone. It felt even worse because Beomgyu couldn’t remember him ever debuting in a drama, let alone getting praised to the extent of winning an award.
Maybe the fever was so severe that it ate up a chunk of memories from his brain. The only way to make sure was to take out his phone and look up Choi Soobin’s profile. He tried to catch Soobin’s words as he said his acceptance speech, but his eyes were drinking up the words quickly, and they were too much for him to take in.
Instead of the list of albums, Choi Soobin’s profile was full of dramas and movies.
“... for Choi Beomgyu, the love of my life.” What the hell? “Thank you for making me a better person, and a better actor, of course. My life was separated from before and after we shot that movie together. So this award is thanks to you too! And for my co-star…”
Beomgyu didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh, because the thought of him as a movie actor sounded so absurd. He was a singer. A songwriter. Soobin being an actor was not so far-fetched since everyone had always said his face belonged to those romance dramas, but Beomgyu?
The worst thing was that he didn’t know which one was a more ridiculous idea: him being an actor, or him being Soobin’s boyfriend (as listed on his Naver profile.)
Soobin was walking back to their seats, a trophy in his hand and a smile brightening his whole visage. Beomgyu did the best thing he had in mind: run.
His legs carried him out from the building into a garden lit up by fairy lights and fountain, as if he had visited this place a lot of time before. Maybe he did. Right now, he didn’t really trust his head to make sense of the situation. His body didn’t feel like his own; it was the body of actor Choi Beomgyu, whom he didn’t recognize as himself.
One moment, he was going to sleep after cursing his leader to hell and back. The next second, he found himself as the said leader’s boyfriend, living in this unknown universe where he couldn’t make music. If this were a punishment for standing someone up on a date; he didn’t know that gods can be that cruel.
“I’ve been looking for you,” a voice jerked him out from his deep thoughts. It was none other than Soobin himself, who always seemed to find him. “You weren’t there when I came back.”
“I didn’t feel great… I’m happy for you though, Soobin-ah,” he said quickly, throwing a smile at the latter so he wouldn’t rain on his parade. The only thing he knew was that he couldn’t be left alone with Soobin, because being the boyfriend , he might sense that something was wrong. That this Beomgyu was nothing but an impostor, and this was nothing but a glitch in the system.
It felt even more sickening that he felt a clench in his chest upon that realization, as if he actually wanted this Soobin to be in love with him .
“Shouldn’t you go back inside? I don’t think it’s wise for the man of the hour to disappear from the event,” he said, seating himself on a vacant bench near the fountain.
“How could I leave when you’re not feeling well? Don’t be stupid.”
As sweet as actor Choi Soobin might be, apparently he still had the same asshole tendency that Beomgyu found annoying. This made it easier for him to not fall in love with him at least. He had to keep reminding himself that this was not his Soobin, and the memories trickling into his head weren’t real.
He started remembering small details about the first movie they shot together after his long-term admiration toward the actor. The kisses they shared in pretenses of a script. The misunderstanding. Heartache. Happiness so profound it made his chest ache. He felt everything as though all the memories were his own.
“Hey, Beomgyu-ya. Remember how I said that I made a vow to myself if I won this award?”
Obviously, he did not remember that happening at all. “Yes?”
The silence stretched for a bit that Beomgyu had to look up from fiddling with his fingers. The sight that greeted him almost made him choke.
Soobin went down on one knee, presenting a velvet box toward him. The silver band perched in the center of the box glistened under the fairy lights, and even before Soobin started speaking, Beomgyu already knew the answer.
He might not remember all the memories and feelings he shared with Soobin as actor Beomgyu, but his body remembered it well, and it had its own reactions. Beomgyu could feel it from the way his body was aching with the need to throw himself at the other, like it– he had been waiting for this moment. He could hear the symphony of yesyesyes in his head before he could even feel the horror hitting him.
Tall, handsome, and sexy actor Choi Soobin was proposing to the wrong Beomgyu.
“Let’s get married,” Soobin said, eyes alight with adoration and a dimpled smile present in his face, unaware of how it stole Beomgyu’s breath away. “I know I’ve made a lot of vows and even failed to fulfill some. But this is one that I’ve wanted to make for a while. If you will have me, I will vow to love you for the rest of my life. Even if you hate me, I will keep loving you still.”
Fuck fuck fuck. This can’t be happening. Beomgyu was torn between paying attention to the chaos in his brain and the swoop in his chest as his heart started going mad in response. Not to mention that Soobin looked absolutely beautiful like this. It was not the suit, the hairstyle or the make up. It was the love he wore, bare for the world to see. All just for Beomgyu.
This Beomgyu. Not him.
“Beomgyu? Say something,” Soobin urged. “I mean… it’s okay if you don’t want to. It might be a little too sudden since we’ve been dating for two years.”
“No!”
“Oh.”
The dejection seeped into Soobin’s voice and expression before Beomgyu could retract his words. His chest ached when the male stood up, stepping away from him. The thoughts in his head whirred as it worked in full force, fearing that he might have ruined the relationship between the two when he was not even the owner of the body.
So, he let his body act on its own accord, taking over his brain. He felt the collision before he could register his own movement, felt Soobin’s heart beating against his own and how every cell of his body was reaching out for the other.
“I mean, I’d love that. The getting married to you part. I want that,” he said, tripping on his own words and almost biting on his tongue when he said that.
The single brain cell he trapped in his head started yelling in horror as he felt Soobin’s arm wound itself around his waist, pulling him flush against the other. It felt warm and safe, and he melted into Soobin’s arms as the fondness and happiness bled back into Soobin’s eyes.
“Don’t scare me like that! I hadn’t felt this nervous since the first role I auditioned for.”
“I’m going crazy too!”
Warmth settled in his chest as Soobin laughed. Screw it. He didn’t care even if he just signed himself up for a marriage even without experiencing so much as a first kiss. As long as he could hear Soobin laugh like this, it would be enough for him.
The power of manifestation was no joke.
As soon as he thought of it, he felt his face being cradled by Soobin’s fingers, which were gently tipping his chin up. “I love you so much, you know that?” the words caressed his lips, making them quiver subtly both from the feeling and the weight of the words upon them. And most importantly, the urge to kiss him.
Great, now he was going to have his first kiss like this.
It felt crazier for him that he didn’t feel grossed out by the thought. His eyelids fluttered close as Soobin’s face drew closer.
As soon as he felt Soobin’s lips pressed against his own, he was swept off his feet.
Quite literally.
The ground disappeared from beneath his feet, and the universe collapsed upon him as he was swallowed within himself. This was not how people describe a first kiss to be, and Beomgyu might be a little dramatic, but he could not be this dramatic to invent a whole free falling sensation just from a single kiss.
He was falling, and Soobin wasn’t there with him anymore.
🍷
When his eyes snapped open, Beomgyu found himself lying flat on his back.
A crescent moon could be seen from between the two buildings, highlighted by how dark it was in this alley. He groaned as he got up from the ground, cringing at the thought of lying down on the filthy, damp surface. The only thing he knew was that he was not back in his bedroom, and he was not with Soobin anymore, so this might be a completely different place.
The garden with fairy lights and his new fiancé had vanished before him, replaced instead by a dark alley littered with filth and graffiti scrawled upon the walls. His head started pounding again when he got up to his feet, but it was not from a familiar feverish sensation.
It was caused by the stench of blood wafting through the night air. The smell hit him so hard that he could taste it on his tongue, making him dizzy at the first intake of breath.
That was a weird sensation. He hasn't had much experience tasting blood after the tooth extraction two years ago.
Instead of using common sense and running the other way, he found himself following the stench of blood that led him into a quieter, darker part of the neighborhood. He was turning into the idiot in horror movies everyone cursed at for willingly walking into the danger.
No matter how you looked at it, there was nothing safe about this place. The street lamp flickered at the corner of the alley made it look like a prologue of a horror movie. His suspicion was proven right the moment he saw a flash of red flitting through the momentary darkness, and he was greeted by a pair of red eyes belonging to a monster lurching towards him.
His scream echoed through the vacant alleys as he flailed and swatted at the creature, magically smacking it away in the middle of his frenzied, unorganized attempt to fight. “Get away from me!”
Upon receiving the last smack, the creature glared at him, freezing his blood in his veins and paralyzing him with fear. He was sure that the next time he got attacked would be the end of him, until he saw a quick movement of shadow creeping from behind the creature. A pair of bloody hands gripped the sides of the monster’s head from behind it, rendering it immobile that very second.
Beomgyu’s eyes widened at the crack that sounded when the head twisted to the side, and then the creature fell lifelessly onto his feet. Dead. He should’ve been relieved for having his life saved at the last second, except the sight that greeted him when the creature was out of sight was almost equally as horrifying.
It was a very angry looking Soobin, wearing a white uniform that was all torn up. One of his sleeves was totally ripped away, exposing his bare arm. The arm was stained by droplets of blood, trickling down from the wound on his shoulder, going all the way to his fingertips.
Suddenly, the tightening sensation in his throat was not because of fear anymore.
It’s one thing to ogle your group mates’ arms when they’re wearing sleeveless tops. Beomgyu had been guilty of that so many times – that naturally happened when you lived with four other guys who randomly flexed when they spotted a mirror. But ogling your group mate’s blood-stained arm? Thinking of biting it? He should probably sign up for a therapy session.
“What did I say about interfering with my work?” Soobin yelled at him as soon as he opened his mouth. “Do you want to die that badly? What was that sorry attempt of fighting too? It’s a feral and you bitch slapped him?”
“I didn’t know what to do!”
“Then you shouldn’t have jumped in in the first place!”
“I smelled your blood, okay!” he yelled back. Though it was not entirely the truth, he kept running his mouth. “What did you expect me to do? Walk away?”
Apparently, he was so lulled by the sweet Soobin he saw barely five minutes ago, that this treatment from this other Soobin made his chest ache. He at least needed to figure out what role he was playing in this new Beomgyu, and what kind of relationship they had that Soobin could yell at him the way their leader always did.
As soon as he said that, he whirled around to march away from the male, registering the pause, before he heard the footsteps as Soobin ran after him. The guy was carrying the corpse of the creature on his shoulder, while his free hand reached out to grab Beomgyu’s hand. How romantic.
“I’m sorry for yelling,” he said quietly.
“It’s whatever.”
“Just… you know. I can’t think straight knowing that you’re hurt. If you had been injured there… I don’t know. I almost lost you once, I can’t go through that again.”
Maybe he was mistaken. This Soobin treated him the way the last one did, just with a sadder edge to it this time. It might have something to do with the fact that they were in danger just moments ago. If he was not careful, he could accidentally kill this body and himself along with it.
Beomgyu stayed quiet as they walked out from the darkness of the alley, willing himself to tap into the memories in the new head he invaded this time. If he could do it the previous time, he should be able to access the memories this time around. There was no use wondering about jumping from being one Beomgyu to another.
He needed to survive.
If he was being forced into the head of some other random Beomgyus, might as well enjoy this version of his life to the fullest.
“Blood!?” Beomgyu exclaimed, reaching the part in his brain where everything got interesting just in time as Soobin walked back from the fridge carrying a bag of donor blood. That. Definitely was not what he expected when Soobin asked him to come into his office. “Oh my god, you’re a vampire,” he said under his breath, backing away until his back hit the edge of the table once Soobin walked back towards him.
He should be scared, right? Was he trapped in some kind of Twilight universe where he had to keep the secret of this vampire and he would die from being attacked by a red-eyed vampire? And the moment he got bitten by the other he would undergo a painful transition and—no, it’s not that he watched those vampire movies when the other guys were out. He shouldn’t know this much.
The vampire was not even going for him, instead sitting on the working chair while eyeing him weirdly.
“I’ll start getting offended if you keep doing this. No matter how you look at me, I look just like one of you guys.”
Right. Beomgyu finally got to the part in the memories that were slowly trickling into his brain where he was also a vampire, and he was once nearly turning into a feral like that person who attacked him in the alley. Thinking about it made him shiver. Yet, everything finally made sense.
The stench of blood. The urge to bite. The abnormally strong attraction he had for Soobin when he was covered in blood.
“Stop watching me, I’m hungry.”
Soobin had torn into the blood bag with his teeth, tipping his head back as he fed from it. He watched as Soobin gulped down the liquid. His adam's apple bobbed while he swallowed, and Beomgyu felt this urge to have his mouth on Soobin’s neck. He could feel the itch in his teeth. The sharp canines protruded as he ran his tongue over his teeth. This came with an odd feeling that this was not an uncommon thing for him.
The next thing he knew, the blood bag was sent flying across the room, thanks to the slap of Beomgyu’s hand.
“What the hell?” Soobin groaned; eyes lidded as he stared at Beomgyu. “That’s my last emergency blood supply.”
Bad idea. Beomgyu felt a thump in his chest as he saw the sight. Soobin’s purple eyes peered up at him, with lips stained with fresh blood. Tongue peeking out to swipe off the crimson liquid off the plush lips. The dazed look in his eyes didn’t help either.
Beomgyu had seen this same face across a lot of pages of magazine photoshoots with different concepts, and none of them came close to how captivating Soobin looked this time.
“Hey, Soobin-ah. How come you didn’t want to bite me if you were so hungry?” he blurted out the question. He didn’t even know he even came up with it. The only thing he knew was that he didn’t want Soobin’s mouth on that freaking blood bag. He wanted Soobin’s mouth upon him.
How far had he gotten into his new body that he started getting jealous of a goddamn blood bag?
He could blame this Beomgyu’s impulsive thoughts, but maybe he also had always wanted to know how it felt to be bitten by a vampire.
A sense of clarity slowly bled back into Soobin’s eyes. He blinked a few times, lips parted in surprise as he looked at Beomgyu. “You know that only couples do that with each other.”
“Aren’t we…” he frowned, slapping gently at the side of his head because how come he was getting false memories?
“Not like that!” the purple haired guy seemed bashful for a second, averting his gaze. “It’s usually for married couples, otherwise it’s just gross.”
“Oh. Do you find it gross?”
“No!”
“Do it, then,” Beomgyu said, hopping up onto the desk behind him so he could sit on the edge of it. He popped open the top button of his shirt, tilting his head back and biting back a smile when he saw Soobin’s eyes fixated on his neck. He might start getting used to having Soobins who wanted him and not one who kept shutting him up when he talked.
Despite his initial rejection, Soobin was already upon him in seconds. It was something straight out of a horror movie. Except this was Soobin, and for some reason his hands on Beomgyu’s waist grounded him into this reality.
There was no more idol Beomgyu inside this head, only the Beomgyu who was impatient enough to grab the front of the vampire’s shirt and pull him in. He was always attracted to danger, and it was just a bonus that the danger in this universe came in the form of this purple haired vampire with a pretty set of lips.
“Hurry up…”
“I’ve never seen someone so eager to be bitten.”
“Shut up, I—” his words were lost in a gasp as he felt Soobin pressed up against him, face tucked into the crook of his neck. He felt the burning touch of his mouth at the base of his neck, then his eyes fluttered closed. A sharp pain emerged as his skin was being torn apart by teeth.
A dizzying sensation traveled through his system, starting from the spot he was bitten, and traveling all throughout his body. He couldn’t help but let out a small whimper escape all while a shiver ran down his spine and. Oh .
This was not supposed to happen. Humans were the ones who felt pleasure upon being bitten by a vampire – it’s a mechanism formed so the prey would stay in place when the vampire fed on them. A little fucked up. But that wasn’t the point.
The point was Beomgyu was currently high on pleasure, to the point that he whined when Soobin detached his mouth from the wound. His arms clutched around the vampire’s shoulders, keeping him close as he felt the kitten licks on his wound.
Even after the torn skin was already healed, he could still feel the pleasure thrumming through his system. Had to blink his eyes a few times to snap himself out of it.
That’s when he realized that it might be caused by the fact that he was still a human inside. That no matter what kind of body he was in, he was still human – the idol Choi Beomgyu atop of everything else. And he was not supposed to be here, getting bitten by a vampire just to feed his curiosity.
He needed to leave before he started getting addicted to this. Or develop a kink.
“Soobin-ah. Kiss me,” he said as soon as Soobin lifted his head to look at him, the demanding look in his face unfazed by the surprise in the other’s.
“Suddenly? What’s with you today?” Finally, one of the Soobins had realized that something was off with the Beomgyu, and it had to be the one with the potential to end him with a snap of his neck.
Beomgyu reached out to cup Soobin’s cheeks, pressing his thumb onto the male’s slips to brush any remnants of his blood there. He peered into Soobin’s eyes, then down to his slightly parted lips. The pointy sides of his teeth could be seen from between the pink tiers. His thumb gently grazed it as it pushed past Soobin’s plush lips.
“It’s aftercare. You can’t just bite someone and not kiss them after.”
“I sure hope you don’t kiss your donors after your meal,” Soobin muttered, but he leaned into the touch as Beomgyu grabbed his shirt once more.
Their lips met for yet another first time, and the rush of euphoria Beomgyu felt as he fell was almost identical to the rush of emotions he had when he was bitten. He really shouldn’t start getting used to this.
🎸
His system was constantly pumped up by alcohol or adrenaline that Beomgyu did not actually realize where he was until he sat alone one morning on the dirty floor of a garage, surrounded by musical instruments and his band members.
But not his band members.
This time, he was a guitarist of a rock band who wore too much eyeliner and leather pants that were almost impossible to take off. His hair was long, reaching down to the collar of his leather jacket. It was so fucking hot wearing all these attires, yet he felt good.
Being in a rock band was a dream that he had to bury the moment he became an idol, so he might have lost himself a little in the midst of loud music and stage lights and the deafening cheers of the audience. Nights passed with them performing in the live clubs and mini fests, and Beomgyu had the best time of his life. He only needed a little time to live this reality.
A little, as in a week.
It had been a week, and Beomgyu was enjoying this alternate reality so much that he almost forgot his original identity as an idol. It was hard to feel guilty about it too, seeing that Yeonjun was right there with him on stage.
“We should join the RockFest,” the guy said suddenly as soon as they got off the stage that night. “I think we can be really big, you know? We play decently and you make songs too. At this point, releasing albums and going on tours wouldn’t be too far out of a reach.”
That was it, the moment Beomgyu was finally dragged out of his fantasy. It came as if a bucket of iced water was thrown upon his face, the realization that he had everything back as his original self as an idol. He had worked so hard for the albums, and they were so close to going to their first world tour. Yeonjun’s excitement reminded him of his own Yeonjun during their debut.
The memories of his original life seemed to be something far away now, slipping from between his fingers as he tried to grasp at them. Maybe he could just forget everything and live his life here. Everything was more thrilling. Another week, and he might even forget that this was supposed to be temporary. As long as he didn’t cross path with Choi Soobin and accidentally kiss him, he could just stay here forever–
“Oh my god,” he whispered under his breath as the fear hit him along with the tempting thoughts.
What if he started losing his original life the longer he stayed here? What if he got trapped permanently in this place? His life… his parents… and the money? It’s obviously better over there.
“Guys! This is an emergency!” he yelled over the discussion, inviting three pairs of eyes to judge him. “Do you know where Choi Soobin might be?”
“The loser?” Ryujin offered. “Of course he will be where the loser bands perform. Those guys aren’t in our league.”
It brought him a little satisfaction that at least, not all Beomgyus across the universe made a bad decision when it came to their taste in men.
From what memories he could tap into, Soobin was not a significant individual for him. Their bands clashed once, and then they never interacted anymore. In this universe, their lives only crossed once and never again. He would’ve liked to keep it that way, if only this was not the only method he knew to get out from this universe.
“Kiss me,” he demanded once he found this universe’s Soobin at the bar. The guy was not even performing; so much for being a rock band member with all these wannabe attires. He looked too soft.
Soobin stared at him wide-eyed for three whole seconds before he started coughing, pounding at his own chest. “The hell? Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m hot? Come on. I’ll pay you.”
“Do I look like someone you could just hire to fulfill your disgusting fantasies?”
The words made him gasp aloud, rather dramatically. “Disgusting? A kiss is a sacred process between two human beings and you call it disgusting? Be grateful someone even wants to kiss you, loser!”
“I didn’t even ask for it. Now scram,” he twisted his body back to face the bar, taking his glass of blue coloured cocktail to drink again. Meanwhile, Beomgyu was seething at his seat, because no matter how much he wanted to yell at the guy and leave after dropping the last word in the argument, he couldn’t risk losing his only key to go home.
Taking a deep breath, he decided to step all over his own pride as he stayed there, tugging gently on the sleeve of Soobin’s jacket. “Listen… I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole to you, but I really need you to kiss me right now. Don’t ask why. It’s complicated.”
No response. At this point, talking to a brick wall would be easier. Beomgyu started wondering if a punch would work.
The stagnancy was broken when Soobin tipped his head back to finish his drink, finally looking at Beomgyu again afterwards. “I don’t know if this is a bet or something, but what’s in it for me?”
“You just said you’re not someone who could get paid to do this,” he hissed.
“Yeah, so it has to be something better,” Soobin slid off from his stool, but not leaving like Beomgyu expected him to. Instead, he came closer toward the guitarist, cornering him against the edge of the counter. He was so close that Beomgyu could smell his cologne. It made him lightheaded. The Soobin he knew didn’t wear much perfume, or wear a see-through top under his leather jacket, or look at him like this.
This being the heavy gaze Soobin had on him, burning him from the inside out. He hadn’t even been kissed yet he could feel the burn upon his lips.
“W-what do you want?” he wanted to slap himself for letting the nervousness seep into his voice.
“Three dates. Go on three dates with me.”
“What?” he glared at the latter, only to shrink back as Soobin brought his face closer to him, bending over to be at eye level with him. “That’s unfair. It’s just one kiss?”
“Yeah? Remember how you rejected me three weeks ago when I asked you out? I could do the same thing right now.”
He applauded this Beomgyu for having a better taste, but apparently it had bitten him back in the ass. At least this wouldn’t be his mess to clean up after he left. Sorry, other Choi Beomgyu. He really needed to go home.
Not long after, they ended up in the backseat of Soobin’s car.
He had discarded the leather jacket since it was growing a little warmer in such a cramped space, leaving him clad in only his band shirt and leather pants, decorated with ripped decorations all the way up to his thighs. He could feel Soobin’s fingers on the slivers of exposed skin when he was pulled closer by his thighs.
The vocalist was leaning against the door of the car, his smile smug as Beomgyu crawled forward to sit closer. It was just his luck that the parking lot did not have good lighting, Beomgyu could barely see Soobin’s face even when he brought his face closer.
“What kind of kiss do you need? Have you ever kissed anyone before? You—“
Beomgyu rolled his eyes when Soobin started talking, deciding that he had to get out of there before he started hating this Soobin too. He cut off the list of questions by cupping Soobin’s face and instead pressed a quick peck to his lips.
It was sweet and chaste. The rush of sensation was a little lighter, but it didn’t come with the falling sensation that happened every time he was about to jump to another body. It was confirmed too, the moment he opened his eyes to Soobin’s face staring at him in question.
“Well?”
“It didn’t work,” he frowned. “It worked a lot of times before. Why…”
“What is it you’re aiming for anyway? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
“I’m supposed to feel something when we kiss, okay. It’s important for me to feel it!”
The swooping sensation, the falling. He needed them to jump out from this universe. Or else, he would be trapped inside this body, and God only knows where this Beomgyu was. He sure hoped they weren’t switching bodies, because he couldn’t trust his whole career to a stranger.
“Let me try again, I’m sure it should work this time,” Beomgyu reached out to cup Soobin’s cheeks again, tilting his head to lean in for another kiss.
Before their lips could meet the second time, Soobin interrupted him with a hold on Beomgyu’s wrist. “I’m not sure what you’re supposed to feel, but can I try? You have to trust me this time.”
“For some reason, I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust you.” The male looked at him with an impassive, unpleased expression. Beomgyu grinned at him. “Fine, whatever. Try it—”
His words are lost in a gasp as he felt himself jerked forward, pressed flush against Soobin’s chest. But that wasn’t all, he found himself laid across on the seat of the car with the weight of the other male atop of him. The burn of his fingertips while it brushed along the bare skin of his thighs, peeking between the fabric of his useless pants.
“You want to feel like you’re being swept off your feet, right? That’s what people want from a kiss,” Soobin said, talking too much yet again when he was so close to kissing him. Beomgyu wanted to scream in frustration. But then he felt Soobin’s hand cradling the small of his back, and he melted into the hold. God, he was so easy.
“And you think you could do it?” He arched a brow, challenging, as if his heart wasn't already going crazy in his chest.
Soobin seemed to be aware of it, because the male had this annoying smug smile on his face as he leaned in, tilting his head to the side. His breath grazed Beomgyu's lips, and he had never needed something so badly in his entire life like this, yet here Soobin was, dangling it right before him.
“Seems like I already have.”
He parted his lips to quip more when Soobin’s mouth took away his breath, almost literally. He was being kissed firmly, eagerly, like Soobin wanted him this much. It felt like swallowing a lungful of fire with how he couldn’t breathe and his heart was pounding like crazy. He felt a squeeze around his waist, a secure, almost protective hold. The kiss made him lightheaded, to the point that he could almost feel the solid surface liquidized beneath him.
He was falling yet again.
❅
“ Appa ! It’s a spring fairy!”
When Beomgyu woke up this time, it was to the voice of a little girl, as soft as the tinkling of a bell. He opened his eyes to gaze up at the said little girl standing before him, realizing that his face was half covered by his scarf, and he was sitting on the cold floor in an uncomfortable position that made his legs cramp.
Did he end up in the world where he had gotten married and had kids? That skipped a lot of chapters. He hadn’t gotten to the marriage or the baby making part. Life was unfair.
Not like he should be thinking about it in the first place, because out of the three chapters that he had gone through, there was only one common link. And it didn’t even take long for the same link to show up in this one as well.
Choi Soobin, walking down the corridor with his long beige coat and white turtleneck. A fond smile sitting on his lips – one that he had seen way too many times recently. Except this time, it was not directed to Beomgyu. He was looking at the little girl, unaware of the insignificant presence that is Choi Beomgyu.
“Chanmi-ya, don’t bother him. Come here.”
“Aw, but he’s so pretty,” she said, hesitating for a bit at the invitation to come back to her dad while also looking at Beomgyu. She ended up giving in to the impulse, petting the top of Beomgyu’s hair gently before she made a quick run away. Beomgyu realized that she was patting the remnants of snow away from his hair. “The snow is melting on his head, appa. He is bringing the spring,” she said, lowering her voice into a whisper, yet still audible enough that Beomgyu couldn’t help but smile.
The little girl was hiding behind Soobin’s long legs when Beomgyu turned to look at the two, and that’s when he saw the hint of recognition flitted across Soobin’s face. Apparently he was not much of a stranger.
He realized it too, feeling a clench at his chest ever since Soobin entered the scene. This feeling was too profound for this body to have as a reaction to a stranger. It felt like a longing that had been brewing for far too long. A cup of glass filled up with too much water, ready to overflow and spill if he did so much as to hold it.
So instead he stood frozen there, just like Soobin, who seemed to have gone through five stages of grief in the past thirty seconds alone.
“Beomgyu?” his name slipped out, thick with unspoken words that followed.
“Even his name is spring! Bom!” Chanmi gasped in an exaggerated surprise. Eyes alit in fascination. A lot of her demeanor reminded Beomgyu of Soobin. Even down to the pair of round eyes.
“It’s Beom, tiger,” Soobin returned his attention back to the little girl, ruffling her hair gently.
“Spring tiger, then.”
“Right, can you come in first? Auntie is cooking your favorite food, can you say hi to her first and tell her that I’ll join later?”
“Okay…” Chanmi pursed her lips, but finally nodded, taking her small backpack from her dad and shouldered it proudly. She spared a look and a wave goodbye to Beomgyu’s direction before she disappeared behind the door. “Buh bye, Beom Bom ajussi!”
They were the only ones left in the corridor. Unlike the last three times, being with this Soobin didn’t bring him the feeling of comfort or familiarity. It was instead nostalgia.
The road not taken. The choice not picked. Regrets brewing at 3AM on the nights you couldn’t sleep.
He couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling like he wasn’t supposed to be there. At least he already removed the possibility of him being the one married with a kid.
The steps he took walking toward Soobin were heavy, as if he had to venture through the palpable tension in the air. “Hey. I’m not even sure why I’m here, but I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time. Adorable kid, by the way.”
“She is,” there was it again, the fond smile on Soobin’s lips, just before it faltered the moment he finally looked straight into Beomgyu’s eyes. “You’re here for the apartment card, right? Taehyun said that someone was going to be here to collect it today. I just didn’t think it’d be you.”
“I didn’t know either…”
He didn’t know anything about this universe, and he certainly did not know how to kiss Soobin in this circumstance.
To think that he removed himself from a perfect world where he was a guitarist of a rock band just to end up in the universe where Soobin was happily married with a kid. He shouldn’t even feel this bitter about it. Not his business whom Soobin chose to marry and have a kid with.
“So… I can walk you to the apartment? Only if you want to.”
Ignoring the heavy feeling in his chest, Beomgyu perked up and smiled at the latter. “That would be nice.”
Thanks to the walk, Beomgyu learned enough things to recall pieces of memories from this Beomgyu’s head.
It had been seven years since they broke up. Beomgyu had moved away to Japan to continue his study there and eventually worked there, until he decided to come back to Seoul. Taehyun would let him stay in his apartment while he looked for one for himself, but the male had a business trip. This brought them to this uncomfortable arrangement.
A little odd, considering Taehyun knew what Beomgyu went through after the break up.
Beomgyu started to think that maybe, the universes had a way of bringing them together. He had to smack himself mentally because what the hell was the universe thinking when they brought him the asshole Choi Soobin instead of the gentleman one in his original life?
There was so much to catch up on. They talked and talked, and this reminded Beomgyu that they were always best friends more than anything else.
At one point, they stopped by a convenience store, purchasing two bottles of soju to keep themselves warm as it had started snowing lightly again. The talk got more solemn. Soobin told him that he had gone through a divorce, but his life had turned for the better and he had got more time to focus on his kid and his startup business and–
Beomgyu wasn’t even listening anymore.
He was staring off at the street that had gotten darker, illuminated by the street lights and store’s neon lights. There were sounds of busy roads just a block away from them. Muffled conversations, shouting, shuffles of footsteps. Everything felt so real, unlike how he made himself believe that this had just been a very long, long dream.
This Soobin was real, sitting so close to him that Beomgyu could feel his warmth radiating into his body and his movement every time he took a sip of his soju. The feeling brewing in his chest was real too. Despite how this belonged to the other Beomgyu who had spent way too many years pining over a relationship that didn’t work out, he felt everything as himself.
“Do you think things would be different if I never left that day?” he blurted out the question out of the blue.
This was not his business to fix. This Beomgyu would have to deal on his own, yet he couldn’t resist it when the question had been clawing its way out of his chest for hours ever since the first time he saw Soobin at his house.
“What if I had fought harder for you, do you think there could be something for us in the future? In the now?” he kept going, looking down at his shoes instead of the latter.
The silence that wrapped around them was suffocating. Not even a loud blare of horn from the distance could break it, not before Soobin exhaled deeply.
“To be honest, I thought about this a lot back then, the months that followed our break up. What if I hadn’t done that? What if we could’ve handled it better?” He said, a nostalgic smile on his lips when Beomgyu dared himself to look at the other again. For Soobin, this was something stupid he could laugh at after so much time passed. Meanwhile, it had been Beomgyu’s neverending nightmare for the longest time. “I wondered too if there was any other timeline, another life in the parallel universe where we didn’t mess up, and we stayed together. Would they be happier now? Even when I was in the middle of the divorce, I thought about it too. Would I have been happier?”
“And?”
“And… nothing. I didn’t do anything.”
Beomgyu tipped his head back in laughter, inviting Soobin’s attention back to him. He hoped the tears that formed in his eyes would be mistaken as tears of laughter rather than that of pain.
“You did something, hyung. You moved on.”
They walked the rest of the way to Taehyun’s apartment then.
Soobin showed him how to use the access card, and they walked in silence after the weight of the conversation earlier. It was not until they reached the apartment unit that Beomgyu found his voice again.
“Thank you for showing me the way,” he said, smiling at Soobin before turning around to unlock the door. He needed to get away from the other. Into the apartment. Or another universe. It didn’t matter. He just had to go.
“Beomgyu-ya,” Soobin’s voice made his fingers freeze over the password pad. He heard the footsteps from behind him, coming closer until he could feel the other standing right behind him. “I didn’t regret it one bit.”
“Huh?”
“What we discussed earlier. There might be another Soobin and Beomgyu in a parallel universe. Unlike us, they made all the good choices and stayed together until now. Who knows, they might be happy, and the only problems they face every day are overcooked meat or missing each other too much.”
Beomgyu laughed at that, sensing the smile in Soobin’s words as well. “Yeah?”
“But I don’t want that,” Soobin said, reaching out to lay his hand on top of Beomgyu’s hand that was now shaking, taking it away from the keypad. “We can be better than that.”
“Don’t you think you’re being unfair right now?” he asked shakily, taking a deep breath when Soobin stepped closer, pressing up against his back. His face was buried into Beomgyu’s hair.
“I was young and I made bad decisions, but I’d like to think that I’ve been better now. That the me standing here with you is the better version of myself compared to the one who couldn’t love you properly back then. There’s a reason that we met again after so long, and the moment I saw you back there? I knew that I could never let go of you again.”
He felt a clench in his chest upon hearing that. For the past few hours, he had been feeling the constant ache that was not even his, and this ache that washed over him came with hope.
Hope was a dangerous emotion for people like Beomgyu who always jumped head first, but like any other decisions he had taken, Beomgyu gave himself into this one too. He decided to trust what this body felt.
“What are you suggesting, then?” he finally asked, turning around to face the elder again.
Soobin smiled at him. “Let me be the one to ask you this time. For one more day, can we try to be in love with each other again?”
“Hyung-”
“Even if we aren’t lovers yet. I don’t care about the missing years or the paths we didn’t take back then. Can we do it now?”
Suddenly, he was allowed to breathe again. Beomgyu blinked away the tears that filled his eyes as he looked at the latter, finding the dreams he had in his loneliest nights materializing into the man before him. But this was not his feeling to feel - not the ache or relief or rekindled thump in his chest for the male. This Beomgyu had endured long years of heartbreak and trying to move on, and he deserved to feel the end of it too.
“If I agreed to this, would you come with me to Taehyun’s wedding? Because I’m dateless and it sucks so bad when I’m this hot,” he finally said, voice wet even as he tried laughing it off as a joke.
“Okay,” Soobin snorted, about to pull away when Beomgyu tugged onto the sleeve of his coat, keeping him close.
“Can I have a good night kiss too?”
Soobin arched his brow, but he didn’t question much. He just pulled at Beomgyu’s scarf, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his forehead. It was a platonic, rather friendly kiss, yet he felt like his heart was beating for the first time ever since he woke up as this Beomgyu. The kiss was so tender, and Soobin ended it with a nuzzle to his temple.
“Good night, Beomgyu-ya.”
This time, it was not the kiss that swept him away. It’s the tenderness, longing, and hope.
Hope was a dangerous thing, and Beomgyu carried it with him.
✫彡
Beomgyu woke up on a cold bed.
It was not his bedroom where he had a single bed that sometimes was too small for him. One that was too small to fit his Soobin whenever he wanted him to join in their late night talks that they ended up having to video call instead.
This bed was too big for him, highlighting the empty spot next to him that matched the hollowness in his chest.
He tried to tap into the feelings, trying to figure out who he was in this universe and where Soobin would be. Because everywhere else, his life always tied itself with Soobin, and he was always the answer.
This time, he got nothing.
Even after he stayed in bed for hours, scrolling through his phone to find any hint of Choi Soobin. Any Soobin. He was greeted by a void.
There was no Soobin in this life, leaving only a hollow space in his chest that was filled with loneliness that had been piling up for way too long. Today just happened to be the day he felt the weight of that feeling; the feeling of having no one to come home to, or one to share his happiness with. The feeling of having no purpose. The feeling of having no Soobin.
His leader who annoyed him daily. His boyfriend who was head over heels in love with him. The vampire whose blood he craved. The person he fell in love with at the wrong time. He would take any of those over this .
The hollowness rose up into his throat like a bile, climbing up into a sob that he released into the quiet room that had been watching his breakdown for way too many times. He felt the warmth in his eyes trickle down his cheeks. His fingers clutching onto the front of his pajama shirt as he shook through it, curling up into a ball.
This was the feeling of missing something he never had in the first place. He would have said otherwise in any other universe that he had resided prior to this, but this felt worse than having to get married, to drink blood, or to face a breakup. At least that way he would still have the existence that lingered around him instead of this nothingness.
He had never thought that Soobin’s existence could affect him this much. The warm tears he felt on his cheeks were proof of that, along with the persistent ache in his chest that he couldn’t get rid of. It climbed up his throat in a sob.
Curling up into a ball, he pressed his face into the pillow, silently crying for something he never had.
In a world without Choi Soobin, Beomgyu finally broke down.
🍞
When Beomgyu woke up again, he was still curled up on the bed.
Tears were still present in his face, and his chest still ached, screaming for something to fill it up. The spot next to him was still empty. And God, what if this was where it finally ended? What if his trip through different Beomgyus finally ended here like what he wished for, and he would be trapped in this world forever.
He should be more concerned about losing his idol career that he had worked his ass off for years to reach. Yet here he was, in a bed in God-knows-what universe, thinking about a certain person that had been the common link for all the Beomgyus.
Does it mean that he would be nothing without Soobin? Is this his actual punishment? To catch a glimpse of what his lives could be like when he had the elder, and then have everything taken away from him cruelly in the end?
“Beomgyu?” the voice tried to break into the invisible, soundproof walls built around him. The voice sounded distorted, as if Beomgyu was underwater. It did feel so much like drowning.
He didn’t recognize the voice until he felt the bed dipped under the weight, and he rubbed the tears from his eyes to see Soobin looking at him with concern written all over his face when he turned to face the other. “Hey, are you okay? I heard you crying out.”
“Soobin hyung? Is that really you?” he whimpered, still brushing his tears away from his face with his fists. But they kept melting out from his eyes, unstoppable even with the calming presence of the elder around him.
The concern shifted into something softer in Soobin’s face. As the male moved away, Beomgyu almost desperately reached out for him, only to find that the elder had joined him under the blanket, pressed against his side with one of his folded arms cushioning his head.
“I’m here. Did you have a bad dream?” Soobin asked, cupping Beomgyu’s face and brushing a fresh drop of tear away from his cheek.
He nodded, sniffling once more. He caught the scent of baked goods and coffee on the other, which means that this was not his leader, and he had returned yet. The queen bed explained that much. Despite that, he only felt relief washing over him.
After experiencing a world without Soobin in that short eternity, he had learnt not to take things for granted. Maybe a little too much, as seen on the desperate curl of his fingers gripping onto the front of Soobin’s shirt.
“I dreamed of a world without you.”
Soobin hummed, moving his hand to brush gently through Beomgyu’s hair. “And how was that?”
“It was… lonely. I woke up alone and there was this loneliness sitting in my chest, and I thought the only way to get rid of it was to claw it out with my own hand.”
“That bad?”
“Mm… I’d rather have you still. I don’t care if you hate me or if you’re a hitman tasked to kill me or a villain chasing me down. As long as I know that you’re there somewhere.”
“You’re so cute.”
Heat exploded in Beomgyu’s face as he caught Soobin’s eyes on him. Jumping from one Beomgyu to another must have messed up with his brain that he had started settling into the role so easily. Unlike the first time, he had jumped straight into the role this time, without even trying to find out what the relationship between the two of them was this time.
It felt so easy, so natural for him to be close with Soobin like this. As if that’s where he belonged all along. It was always so easy when it came to Soobin.
“Shut up. You’re not helping,” he groaned, pushing at Soobin’s face while the male laughed under his palm.
Soobin’s hand shot up to grab at his wrist instead, pinning it into the bed above his head as he moved to lie down atop of him. Even his weight felt comforting this way. Beomgyu melted into the bed, content like a cat.
“In whatever universe we are in, I will make sure to find you. Even if you’re not in love with me there,” he said, punctuating it with a kiss on Beomgyu’s forehead. “Even if you are some rich heir and I’m the bodyguard tasked to protect you.” A kiss to his nose this time. “If you’re a robot and I have to time travel to find you.” A snort escaped him just as he felt a peck landing on his lips. “Or if we’re wizards from different houses fighting in the quidditch field. In the soulmate universe where we are not destined to be together. Or even if we are just a couple of a baker and a retired idol who go through mundane days of baking bread half awake every dawn. I’ll do all of it with you.”
“Oh my God,” he covered his face with a hand once Soobin finally stopped speaking. The elder laughed at his response, tucking his face into Beomgyu’s neck and nuzzling into the warmth. “You’re such a sap.”
“Yeah? Wanna hear more?”
“Shoot.”
Soobin lifted his gaze to look at Beomgyu again. This was a mistake. This guy had the audacity to look directly into his eyes while saying all these things. Things that made Beomgyu’s heart do a triple backflip in his chest.
“In any universe, I’ll make sure to find you and make you fall in love with me. I’ll make sure to be your endgame.”
“Oh my God. Literally shut up right now,” Beomgyu groaned, though he couldn’t hold back the smile that framed his face. His cheeks ached from smiling this much and God, this was not even his Soobin. His heart was pounding madly for a Soobin who was not even his own, and he didn’t regret this one bit.
This time, he was the one who wrapped his arms around Soobin’s frame, pulling him down for a kiss.
Only that this time, he was not transferred to another body or another bed like any other time he kissed the other. He felt everything heightened tenfold. The feeling of Soobin pressing kisses all over his face, making him giggle under the gentleness. The gentle stroking of his fingers along Beomgyu’s skin. The sweet nothings peppered onto his collarbones. It was an adorable, yet intimate gesture. It didn’t get more intimate until he felt Soobin’s hand under his shirt.
That snapped him out of the small moment of weakness. “Okay, we should probably…get up,” he gasped out, pressing his own lips together to swallow down the urge to chase for Soobin’s lips when the elder pulled away.
“Your alarm hasn’t even gone off. We still have enough time for…you know.”
It took him three whole seconds for the gears to click into places in his head. Beomgyu screamed. “Don’t use that you know on me! I’m literally a virgin.”
“We’ve been married for five years,” Soobin deadpanned.
His head started spinning again, and he mildly registered the impish smile on Soobin’s lips before the elder jumped him again. His hands were back on him, on his waist, everywhere.
And Beomgyu was gone.
🎤
This time, he woke up with a yell.
He shot up from the bed to sit up, instantly smacking his forehead against the solid thing materializing right before his own head. The impact caused him to fall back into the bed instantly, curling up onto his side and clutching at his forehead. He only realized another presence in the room when he felt an equally pained groan from somewhere next to his bed.
Turning around, he caught Soobin sitting on the floor, holding his forehead and glaring at him. “What was that? I thought you were sick.”
“Why are you here?!” He got up quickly, gathering his blanket as a shield over his body while he backed himself up to the corner of his bed, as far away from the other male as he could get.
“I was checking your fever since you were squirming and whining in your sleep, it seems like you’re okay now. I guess stupid people really can’t catch cold.”
Right. Apparently this was not the Soobin who started tickling him out of nowhere just moments ago. He should’ve been used to the whole jumping and waking up in a whole new circumstance.
As his heartbeat calmed down, he took a look around the place, registering the view of the single bed, dirty laundry basket in the corner of the room, and the decorations he pasted on the wall. The familiarity hit him along with the comfort that washed over him.
He was home.
The presence of this annoying leader of his should’ve made him feel bitter, since he could have literally any other Soobins that were hotter, nicer, and gentler than this one. Except, he only felt immediate relief. Even the scowl on Soobin’s sleep deprived face felt like home.
“Are you really Soobin hyung?” he asked warily, extending his leg out from under the blanket to nudge the other with his toes. “Are you not in love with me?”
“What the fuck? Did the fever really finally eat the last brain cell you had left?” Soobin made a disgusted face towards him.
Surprisingly, even for him, this only made Beomgyu exclaim in happiness. “Oh my God! You’re the asshole!”
“Excuse me? I didn’t come here all worried and shit just to be disrespected like this,” the leader had finally reached his limits of tolerance for him. He got up from the floor and stomped his way to leave the room.
Beomgyu was faster. He tripped over his blanket on the way out of the bed, yet he still caught up to the elder before he could leave the room. Throwing himself at Soobin’s back, he clung onto him, arms wrapped around Soobin’s shoulders in a forced piggyback.
“Shut up! You’re my asshole!” he yelled happily, hugging Soobin tightly despite the leader’s attempt to shake him off.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“No, but I’m really happy. You were in my dreams earlier and you were reaaaally weird! I’m so happy to see that you’re still normal in the real world.”
The other had finally stopped trying to get rid of him. He sighed, even holding onto Beomgyu’s thighs to hold him securely as he walked back onto the bed to place him down.
“Dreaming about me? It’s like you're in love with me or something,” he scoffed.
Beomgyu whacked him with a pillow, making a disgusted face, in which Soobin poked his tongue at. As the irritation went down, they went back into silence. Beomgyu back on the bed and Soobin standing a safe distance away with the pillow he clutched in defense.
Despite the playfulness going on just a moment ago, Beomgyu’s voice was solemn when he spoke again. He looked down onto his lap, fingers pulling at the hem of his shirt.
“Sorry for not coming to the theater. I really wanted to watch the movie with you and I ruined it.”
“I know you’re really sick. You were burning up and talking in your sleep, so I shouldn’t have been an asshole earlier,” Soobin said, not looking into his direction either, even as he threw a small paper bag to the bed. “I got you meds earlier. We can buy the movie tickets again once you’re all better.”
Taking the paper bag, Beomgyu peeked inside and smiled to himself. This felt like a dream, especially since he had decided that this Soobin was the worst one compared to the ones he had met. But this was also the Soobin who would go and buy him medicines even when he was annoyed. This was his leader who would stay behind and wait for him even when he claimed to hate it so much.
This was his Soobin, and Beomgyu wouldn’t change him for anyone else.
“Thank you. You’re so silly, though. Why would you sit there and wait, just for me?” he ended up asking, just because his brain was not equipped with a response for something so sweet - especially not from this guy.
At the question, Soobin gave him a look. Long and hard. “Are you really asking me that? Seriously?”
He blinked a few times, tilting his head to the side. The clear confusion in his face made Soobin sigh, ruffling the messy mop of hair atop his head. “Take your meds. I will tell you later.”
“Why can’t you just say it now?!” he exclaimed as Soobin made his way to leave, only to break into a fit of cough from shouting too much, and lost his chance to push the latter further since Soobin already disappeared behind the door soon after.
“Good night, Beomgyu-ya.”
It was not until a few hours later that it finally hit him.
Beomgyu was already in the process of falling asleep, letting the medicine sweep him into yet another slumber. This was the most vulnerable state of mind, and that’s why it hit him hard the moment he realized.
“Oh,” he exclaimed softly, shooting up to sit on the bed. His eyes wide as any trace of drowsiness dissipated from his system.
He recalled Soobin’s irritated look early in the day, and then the concerned look he spotted when he woke up to Soobin in his room after his fever dream, then the hopeless yet fond expression the leader had in his face when he was petting Beomgyu’s head just before he left the room.
The look reminded him of so many instances he saw in the other Soobins’ faces. The Soobin who claimed to be in love with him or at least cared for him. They all had a similar way of looking at him. Gentle eyes and a tiny quirk of the corners of his lips up into a smile that he didn’t even realize making.
This Soobin might be annoying. He would go on his way to bicker with him all day and never say sweet things to him, yet he sported the same look as the others when he looked into Beomgyu’s eyes just before he left the room. Everything made sense now.
“ Oh. ”
(He just hoped that he wouldn’t be sent into another universe when he kissed this Soobin.
Not like he was already thinking about it.
Totally not.)