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Ranboo sighed as he collapsed into his gaming chair. He kind of regretted posting on his alt twitter about how stressed he had been, but impulse control was something he seriously lacked on flare days. His fans had decided to trend #weloveyouranboo in response, but it made him feel even more like the “attention seeking brat” that his doctor kept trying to write off his complaints as.
The hashtag was full of people telling him to take a break. Take a few days off from streaming, focus on his health, focus on school. They didn’t seem to understand that his break was streaming. Sitting behind a computer screen, where no one had to see him, was the actual best thing he could do. Behind a screen he could pretend every step didn’t send shooting pain up his legs, could pretend that sitting slightly wrong would end in him spending the majority of the next day in bed, could pretend that the cane across the room had a purpose other than making sure his leg wouldn’t give out between the storage room his parents had helped him set up for streaming and his bedroom down the hall. Behind a computer screen he could roll his neck every time it got too tense, could pop his fingers every time they felt too tight.
His streaming friends were never supposed to find out, but it's hard to hide a chronic health issue. Ranboo had enough doctors appointments to try and get any kind of diagnosis to really hide, anyway. He didn’t want to lie to his friends, even if they couldn’t really do anything if they found out it was a lie since most of them lived across an ocean from him.
Turning down stream appearances because he had a doctor’s appointment or a “family thing” happened too often to try and deny something was wrong when they confronted him about it.
--
Toob
‘boo!! vc wiht evry1???? no1s live :)’
Beloved
‘yeah give me a sec :]’
Ranboo honestly didn’t know who “everyone” was going to include, but a vc that could have anyone in it was going to require dragging himself to his desk, not an easy feat considering how long his stream had been yesterday. He hadn’t caught himself slouching until his upper back was already aching, and his trip to the bathroom before he went to bed last night was enough to tell him that his knee was going to be shaky today.
When he made it to his computer, he opened discord to see a new group DM sitting at the top of his list. He joined the current call without really looking at who was in it. “Hey guys!”
“Ranboo!” Tubbo’s voice filtered through his headphones, “Glad you could make it, man.”
Ranboo brought his focus onto the monitor in front of him, quickly taking in who was in the call, Dream, Karl, Phil, Tubbo, and Techno. A slightly weird group, the six of them had never really been in a call all together except for streams, even though they had been in plenty of calls separately. “What’s up? We planning a stream or just hanging out or…?”
Dream hopped to answer the question first, “We were just hanging out but we had a bit of a question for you and Tubbo said that you’d probably be up to joining us.”
Ranboo nodded slightly in answer, even though he knew none of them could see him, “Right, uh, what do you need?”
“Do you think you could turn your camera on for us, mate?”
With that the odd group of people in the call suddenly made a lot more sense, these five were the ones on the SMP that had seen his face, whether accidentally or on purpose. Of course they had communicated and knew who had seen what between them.
“You don’t have too,” Ranboo registered Karl’s voice quickly, and looked up to see that he had been mentally panicking long enough that everyone else had turned on their cameras in the call, even Dream and Techno. “We just, um, y’know we were all talking and, uh, noticed something.”
“What?” Ranboo felt his voice crack slightly as he spoke.
“You never turn on your camera without a lot of thought unless it’s an accident, kid. You’re always paranoid about it unless you planned it. Even though you showed some of us on accident, you freaked out when it happened,” Techno’s voice chimed in for the first time since Ranboo had joined the call.
Karl jumped in next, “You turn down a lot of jackbox and other collab streams that aren’t planned weeks ahead for family things or doctors appointments.”
“Then the other night where you were worried about getting grounded for me ordering you food, it just throws up some red flags, mate,” Phil.
“Red flags? What kind of red flags?” Ranboo was legitimately confused. Sure all of this had happened, he wouldn’t deny it, he couldn’t, but he had no idea what his friends were worried about.
“Ranboo, um, this is really hard to ask, big man.”
“We’re worried you’re being abused, Ranboo,” Dream finished for Tubbo.
Ranboo froze, “What? What landed you there?” He reached over and turned on his camera, cringing when he saw the dark shadows under his eyes reflecting back from the monitor next to his friends faces. “I’m fine, just got some stuff going on.”
“Ranboo, this is serious. We’re worried about you, kid. ‘Stuff going on’ can mean a lot, and how tired you look definitely isn’t helping this case. You’re gonna have to be more specific.”
Ranboo felt the tears on his cheeks before he could form an answer, Dream and Techno saying that the whole group was worried about him meant a lot, especially with the countless doctors that kept writing him off as a teenager looking for a high. “I-I, um--”
“Boo! Don’t cry! We can get you to a safe place and--”
“Tubbo stop. That-that’s not what--” Ranboo sighed and shifted in his seat, “I’m not being abused. I, um, my body doesn’t work right. The doctor’s appointments are because I’m trying to get a diagnosis, but I’m pretty much stuck at the ‘treat the symptoms, there’s nothing bigger going on’ phase,” now that he had started explaining, everything else just followed. “The family things are rarely actually a family thing, it’s usually just a bad day that I’m in so much pain it’s hard to get out of bed, let alone walk down the hall to the computer. The stupid food thing was really more of a bit, but also one of the doctors suggested a diet change that my mom is really trying to get me to follow. And I’m tired because sometimes it’s hard to sleep because everything hurts and so I end up googling worse cases of what I could possibly have and-” he pauses and takes in a deep breath, trying to wipe some of the tears off his face. “It-it’s just been a lot y’know? And people on twitter keep telling me to take a break from streaming and focus on my health, but I spend so much time right now focusing on my health that streaming is my break.”
Ranboo took a deep breath and brought his focus back to the discord call. His friends were all looking right back at him, concern and shock filling most of their faces.
Tubbo was the first to break the silence that had fallen, “What? I mean, not what just- Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
Ranboo shrugged slightly, “I didn’t want you guys to worry.”
“Yeah ‘cause that worked out well,” he watched Techno roll his eyes.
Dream seemed to stifle a sigh as he relaxed back into his chair. “You can talk to us about this kind of thing, Ranboo. Actually, it would be preferred before we get to a stage where we feel the need to do something like this.”
“Yeah! Now we can help deter rumors and stuff that the fans try and start too. They really didn’t take the ordering food thing well.”
Ranboo smiled, maybe his friends knowing, well some of them anyway, was a good thing.
---
Days passed, thankfully only one was really a bad flare day, and Tubbo spent most of that day on call with him, even throughout both of their streams. They were both winding down for the night, ready to power down their PCs for the night when Tubbo asked him a quiet question,
“Are you going to tell the rest of the SMP?” Ranboo froze. “I mean you don’t have to tell the fans obviously, but some of the other SMP members have started talking to me and Dream saying they’re worried about you.”
“If I come to the UK to visit I’ll have to won’t I?”
“Not really! We could come up with excuses and-”
“Tubbo, it's hard to hide a cane.”
“What?” the pure confusion in Tubbo’s voice would have been endearing if Ranboo wasn’t just as confused.
“A cane? I did tell you that I use a cane didn’t I?”
“No?”
“I don’t use it all the time but if I’m going to be standing or walking a lot I definitely need it. Airports are the worst .”
“I mean they make it good for you to go through, right?”
Ranboo laughed, “One way of putting it. Definitely not the best system though.”
“You’ll have to tell me about it. Later though, we should both go get some sleep. ‘Night Boo.”
“Goodnight Tubbo.”