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JP looked at the various monitors and sensors for signs of possible threats. He also thought about possible improvements for UNIT's weapons. For now, he helped UNIT to determine the bullet type required to defeat different enemies: gold-tipped for cybermen, silver for werewolves and demons, armour piercing for robots, explosives for Yetis, Teflon for Daleks.
One of his sensors showed a brief distortion in the surrounding electromagnetic field. In a moment, he saw through the window how a featureless rectangular box landed in the field and instantly transformed into a small farmhouse.
He recalled reading a document about the alien vessel called the TARDIS, that was able to reconfigure itself according to the environment and travel into every historical period and location.
He called the Brigadier and described the situation. Within ten minutes JP and UNIT soldiers surrounded the object, holding guns and equipment for scientific research: scanners, containers for samples, and other tools.
They opened the door and saw three people in the entrance: a girl in her 20s with brown curly hair wearing a jeans jacket and shorts, a blond boy of the same age in beige trousers, a white shirt and a red leather jacket, and someone of an unidentified gender, about 25 years old with bright red hair in a white shirt, black business suit and broad tie. Next to them was a small 3'0" alien with thick grey fur, and a brown face, ears and paws.
JP noticed that the strangers recognized and greeted some soldiers, including the Brigadier himself. "Nice to meet you again. I'm glad all of you are alive and well," the redhead said. "Congratulations on the promotion, Brigadier. I guess it was a reward for your victory over those Yetis three months ago."
"Thank you. Your assumption is correct. Did Kirsch or his friends tell you about it?" the Brigadier replied to their new visitor. "By the way, where is he? Is he alright? Who are you and what is your relationship with him?"
The interlocutor answered, "He was forcefully changed into me. I'm an alien whose body transforms in the case of deadly injuries. It's our ancient way to cheat death, postponing it for a long time. My name is LaFontaine. However, you may use LaF as well."
"We are sorry to hear it. Why and by whom was it done?"
The girl who was the one who responded, "His people sentenced him to such a cruel punishment, complicated by exile without the possibility of travelling in his TARDIS. He was executed for 'meddling in History'."
"At least I chose my new appearance from suggested variants. Our court promised that my exile won't last more than one month. 'We are being merciful to you, given your past merits. If you behave, we'll decrease your verdict'," added LaF.
JP was interested. "Could you please introduce yourself for our staff like me who sees you the first time?"
LaF said, "I'm LaFontaine, she is a singer called Crystal, the young man near her is her boyfriend Jason, and the last member of our team is Zog."
JP introduced himself, "I'm Jean-Pierre Armitage, UNIT scientific advisor. Most colleagues and friends usually address me as JP for simplicity."
Crystal said, "Jason is a Frenchman just like you. What's UNIT?"
"UNIT — Unified Intelligence Taskforce — a military organisation whose remit is to save the Earth from paranormal and extraterrestrial dangers. It was founded after your victory, when the Ministry of Defence had proof that these threats are real and the usual army isn't a good enough defence against them." JP paused to add, "I'm not from France, only my parents are. Jason doesn’t sound French."
LaF explained, "It's a short form of his full name, with all his titles."
Brigadier wanted to clear up one thing, "LaFontaine, why isn't your name Kirsch if you are the same person, although different looking? Shouldn't you keep it?"
"After our transformation, or as we call it, regeneration, we feel like a new person. Our personality, skills and appearance change, only our knowledge and memories remain unaffected. Thus, it isn't unusual for us to take a new alias in that case, although some people may still use an old version."
JP had a few questions. "I want to know, why exactly did you choose this name?"
"When I was deciding what to name my current incarnation, I saw an advertisement in a newspaper about the law firm 'LaFontaine, Dee, and Alexander'. I was sure it was a good idea to take one of those surnames. Before you ask, no, I haven't changed my mind."
Brigadier continued talking, "Crystal, last time we met you mentioned that you are from this period and place, so you'll return to your usual life. But what about your companions?"
"Jason will be my bodyguard instead of Kirsch. I'm planning to persuade my manager about it. 'He needs to replace his lost documents.' Zog and LaF will remain in their TARDIS rooms. LaF was going to find a job as a scientist."
Brigadier told LaF, "A second scientific advisor wouldn't be superfluous for my organisation. We can’t promise a big salary, only dangerous missions to save the world."
"That's what I always did. May I join you from tomorrow? Do I need a uniform?"
"Today you can continue your recovery. There will be no uniform because you are a civilian like JP," answered Brigadier. "Nevertheless, today we should find an appropriate lab coat for you and prepare the access card. Could you rest and then visit us as soon as possible? And please, if it's possible, find less eccentric casual clothes."
After this, Zog and LaF returned to the TARDIS, while Crys and Jason went to the bus station. In ten minutes LaF came back. They changed into a simple white shirt and plain black trousers. Only JP remained from all the UNIT staff.
"Brigadier requested that I take you to the costumer and photographer, then give you a tour. Let's go."
"JP, how did you end up here?" LaF asked him when they entered the HQ.
"UNIT found me this July after I graduated and offered me a job. For them, it was during their first week. I was a Physics Major and Chemistry Minor. My PhD thesis was dedicated to the detection of various signals."
The photo for the access card was quickly taken and added to it. After that, the tailor took LaF’s measurements. They were sent to the supplier, who informed, "Your lab coat will arrive within an hour."
The first place JP and LaF visited was the target range. Typical weapons were kept adjacent to modified rifles and grenade launchers. LaF noticed some ray guns taken from Daleks. "I’m sorry to inform you that shooting training is mandatory for every member of UNIT including me and you."
The next locations were the gym, hangars for transport, and café. The final destination was the laboratory. "We don't have any piece of equipment which can be compared to yours in your TARDIS, but our technology is the best available."
JP returned with LaF to their TARDIS. "Goodbye, see you tomorrow at 8 AM. It was nice to meet you. Brigadier admitted that without your help his team would have larger losses and might not defeat the enemy."
The next day LaF came to the lab, bringing their sonic screwdriver. "It's a universal multi-tool. It can do everything from the restoration of broken wood constructions to remote control of my TARDIS. It has always been with me, since I invented it in my youth."
JP said, "It will be very useful for UNIT purposes. We should monitor the situation. If we detect anything extraordinary, we report it to Brigadier immediately. He sends soldiers and us to investigate what happened and eliminate the foe if it's necessary. When we are free from duty, we try to improve our weapons, study aliens and their technology to be ready for the next attack."
When he finished speaking, a strange hole appeared in the floor. Two creatures got out from it. They were large amorphous masses with small heads, legs and arms. The animals attacked LaF, almost hurting them. JP pressed the alarm button and shot at the unexpected dangerous visitors. Bullets didn't damage them. LaF tried to use their sonic screwdriver to destroy the danger, but without any success.
JP and LaF instantly left the room and closed the door. JP used his walkie talkie to warn UNIT. LaF scanned the attackers through the door using their sonic screwdriver, "There is some kind of strong control over them. They are no more than puppets."
"LaFontaine, what's your plan?"
"Please, just call me LaF. I'm going to call my two previous selves here. We'll combine our mental powers to find their puppet master, Omega, and eradicate him."
The UNIT soldiers used an optic cable to evaluate the situation, then opened the door, throwing flashbang grenades, and shooting the intruders. "I'm afraid they might appear again, so be prepared to repeat defence," added LaF quickly.
LaF and JP walked into the main TARDIS room. JP noticed that LaF touched the table, which turned into a console with a large number of buttons and levels. In the middle was a red hexagonal column, one meter long. LaF typed the message for help and sent it to their predecessors. "They will be here in minutes. We should meet them outside."
They left the TARDIS and saw two farmhouses nearby, identical to its current form.
An old man followed by a tall young man came out of their TARDISes and came towards JP and LaF. "JP, these are my first and second incarnations, respectively. Earl, Kirsch, this is Jean-Pierre Armitage. He prefers to be addressed as JP. We need your help. I have evidence that Omega tried to breach his imprisonment. He already attempted to kill me by sending his minions."
"So, Omega wanted revenge on you for helping with his confinement. I'm sure his crazy desire to destroy the universe hasn’t vanished. As you described, he became more powerful and dangerous," commented Kirsch.
JP asked, "Why attack your third incarnation, while it was the first who contained him?"
"It was our twelfth incarnation, Amelia Song, under the alias The Other. It happened when she helped Rassilon with building and testing the TARDIS prototype," responded Kirsch. "During the preparation for the first flight, she warned Rassilon about Omega’s ideas. She insisted he was a madman and should be killed. However, Omega was too useful for Rassilon and the latter suggested isolation in a pocket dimension."
"My death would cancel those events before they even took place. To prevent this and defeat him, we should join our mental powers," said LaF.
The three of them put their hands on each other’s temples. For JP, it looked similar to a mind-meld from Star Trek except it was for three, not two people.
Instantly he felt a sudden inner relief. He was glad the feeling of strange anxiety and of being monitored by someone malicious disappeared. LaF and their helpers told him it was over. Omega couldn't cope with triple psychic pressure and his mind was eliminated without any possibility of recovering.
LaF and JP thanked the others for their help, and everyone returned to where they were before the summoning.
"I hope this was the last incident for today."
Brigadier told JP and LaF to go into their rooms in the dormitory and TARDIS, respectively. "The working day is over. Other soldiers and officers have started their shift. You need to rest. If something happens, there will be a loud alert for everyone."
The next day, LaF went to work. When they entered the laboratory, they heard an alert. It was announced that the nuclear missile convoy experienced several failures and was attacked by armour-clad knights. Several soldiers were hurt by magic lightning. Brigadier called LaF, "Near the incident was a girl who showed your access card to Captain Bambera. She claimed she was a UNIT scientific advisor and needed to talk with me and you. Captain Bambera is transporting her and her companion to the HQ."
"I'm sure it's one of my future incarnations. I'll speak with her," responded LaF. "Regarding this incident, I think that it was caused by someone wanting the missiles. I don't know why it was done. Maybe for revenge, entertainment, or power."
Laf left the laboratory and in front of the HQ, they saw Danny with an unknown girl. Danny looked unchanged since their last interaction, which took place between her and Kirsch in an alien city built in the Wild West style. She wore the same brown suit with a beige shirt, white straw hat, and a black umbrella with an elaborate red handle in the form of an exclamation mark.
Danny's friend was introduced as Mel. Mel was a 5'6" slightly dark-skinned girl with shoulder-length curly hair. Her jeans were a mix of blue and white, and her blouse was plain black. In her hands was a crossbow with the engravingGertrude. Mel's black leather jacket had numerous pins. LaF wanted to warn Mel about her fate but it was forbidden to meddle in their timeline. This prohibition applied not only for past lives, but for the present and future as well.
"Hello, Danny and Mel. Please tell us your explanation for all of this."
"Hello, LaF. I forget that you are in UNIT too and used your card, still being their scientific advisor. I didn't find time to change it to a more up-to-date version. About the attack, it must be that evil magician Merlin from the parallel universe where I was Morgaine. His manipulations slowly destroyed the country. King Arthur was his puppet, a tool for his purposes. I thought I killed Merlin. But perhaps he used a double or someone resurrected him."
"What's your plan? You always have at least one."
"Merlin should be no further than 100 meters from the location of the convoy to watch it and create the lighting. I tried to find him by using my sonic screwdriver but the signal is blocked and points simultaneously to several places. If we combine our sonic screwdrivers we'll be able to locate him, breaking the blockade. But before that, please receive the necessary information."
Danny raised her sonic screwdriver, which was similar to LaF's, and made a short transmission. "Let's start the search." They simultaneously started scanning. Merlin's location was in a glade in the forest close to the road of the route. UNIT, LaF, and Danny arrived there but saw nothing. LaF said, after checking the environment with their sonic screwdriver, "It's a strong perception filter combined with optic camouflage."
Danny added, "Merlin always used technology, passing it off as magic. We should disrupt the shields." She used her sonic screwdriver to find the main controlling device and disable it. As a result, a small house appeared. There were no visible doors and windows.
"It's his next line of defence - a chameleon circuit from the cannibalized analogue of an ancient TARDIS type 40 from his reality," explained Danny. "We’ll turn it against him by compressing it. He'll have to choose between being crushed or escaping right into our hands." She emitted a short signal from the sonic screwdriver and the house started to shrink.
In ten seconds, the hidden door opened. From it came a short man in a black robe with a magic wand that looked like a sonic screwdriver with a wooden shell. The soldiers opened rapid fire and he fell dead.
"That's all. UNIT may safely continue the transportation. Mel and I are going to Paris in the 23rd century," said Danny. Everyone returned to the HQ. LaF wished a good trip to Danny and her companion. Then they said goodbye.
It was a hard two weeks for UNIT. Cases came one after another with little time to recover and begin the new fight. LaF recalled how their teacher Borusa went mad. He tried to lure several of LaF's incarnations to sacrifice them to Gallifreyan Gods to obtain immortality. Fortunately, Earl, despite being at the end of his life, wrung the knife from Borusa's hand and killed him.
The next big incident was related to the Silurians. These ancient humanoid reptilians were awakened by underground works. They murdered workers and attacked the nuclear research facility causing massive power losses. UNIT tried to negotiate with them.
"We are deeply sorry for the situation. Humans didn't know about you. Yes, you were the first Earth inhabitants and rulers, but times are changed. You can still peacefully coexist with us: we are on the surface and you are under it in your cities. We'll provide you with protection from us and our technologies. We won't disturb you anymore. Just leave us alone and stop your attacks."
Unfortunately, all attempts at peaceful talks failed. The Silurians killed faculty staff and announced they would destroy humankind. Thus, UNIT decided to eradicate this threat. LaF had a perfect knowledge of Silurian language, therefore they helped with the interrogation of a Silurian scientist.
They promised of slow and painful death if she refused to cooperate brought information about all nests, their locations, defence, and headcount. UNIT wanted to blow the Silurians up to prevent a repeat of the aforementioned incident.
LaF said, "It's better and safer to use hexachromite gas to poison all the Silurians without alerting them. That substance is harmless for us and deadly for them." Said measures were performed without any delay.
JP asked LaF, "Don't you have any regrets about your decision?"
"No. I did what must be done. I didn't see another choice because I don't believe in second chances. I murdered many villains before without hesitation."
The sensor registered an unknown transmission. LaF decoded it. It was some sort of command in an ancient alien language which was unfamiliar for the TARDIS and barely recognisable to LaF. "Awake and attack the living targets in sector 1," was a rough translation. Triangulation gave the source: an abandoned factory near The London Eye. UNIT got there, and LaF registered their tenth incarnation Carmilla Karnstein, not so far from that factory. The memory of the talk between the latter and Kirsch appeared. "Kirsch, I want to check the theatre at Silas University. I feel that there is something off in it."
Carmilla answered, "It's a Nestene Conscience, one of the Old Gods like The Great Intelligence, which controlled robot Yetis. This one turned plastic mannequins into its weapon. I found it when they wanted to kill me at the theatre."
Carmilla and LaF warned UNIT to get away to avoid being hurt. The factory was demolished by sonic screwdrivers without any damage to people and property.
Carmilla said goodbye and went to meet her roommate Betty. UNIT returned to the HQ to prepare work reports.
Another week passed. LaF finally found a little free time to visit their friends. Crystal and Jason said they were happy together and had planned a wedding for next month. They told LaF they wanted to return to travel in the TARDIS as soon as possible. Zog was bored from the isolation, so he was also interested in more time-space trips. LaF promised their companions it would be done at the earliest opportunity.
LaF met a journalist, Sarah Jane Smith, during one UNIT case. She helped a lot with the search for necessary information. Besides that, she covered UNIT operations from the public, creating a required plausible version of events out of omissions and the technical truth.
LaF'S TARDIS still didn’t work. Nevertheless, Sara Jane was impressed that it was "bigger inside than outside". The small farmhouse contained an enormous library with multiple forms of data, a large pool, rows of former companions’ rooms along the corridors… On every door was a sticker associated with its contents or habitant: a bowl of soup for the kitchen, a zero for the Zero Room, a picture of Gallifrey for LaF's granddaughter Susan, a microphone for Crystal's room, etc.
LaF and JP heard the alert. According to the sensor, it was caused by spores of alien zombie fungi, which affected people in the Alchemical Club.
"What should we do?" asked JP.
"Unfortunately, we can only burn carriers and the spores, alongside their source. The exposed alchemists are not humans anymore," replied LaF. "They changed into mindless vessels. The best scenario: we lose less than five people, the worst - the entire club because they have an automatic defence system in case of emergency. One more thing, don't shoot at the head. It'll cause a further spread of the spores and therefore, a greater risk for you and others."
UNIT brought flamethrowers and biohazard gear, then came with them to the Alchemical Club. When LaF went to the campus, they registered some of their future selves on the territory. Natalie discussed her sketch with Perry, Danny continued training Mel, Amy talked with the History Teacher Miriam Cochrane about their last adventure.
UNIT entered the building. The first room was empty. In the second, large brown mushrooms grew from the heads of victims. One cap was full and stretched, ready to tear and release the spores. LaF ordered them burn all affected bodies and fungi immediately.
When it was done, UNIT moved on. They found that some alchemists were barricaded behind the door. LaF used their sonic screwdriver to check if there spores remained. They found nothing and calmed the people, "The threat is over, you may leave." Members went out. LaF asked, "Where did you find the spores?"
"There were mushrooms which filled our basement almost completely. They looked like they were there since the foundation. We just wanted to study them."
UNIT asked the survivors to show them the location of the basement and stay far away from it. After intensive burning for ten minutes, the basement was clear. LaF's analysis with the sonic screwdriver confirmed the absence of spores. UNIT returned to the HQ.